The difference between SUCCESS and FULFILLMENT-with Ricky Rebel

Success can be a drug, especially if you’ve lived through addiction, people-pleasing, or the kind of hustle that turns your nervous system into a constant alarm. We sit down with Ricky Rebel and get painfully honest about the moment success starts to mean “money, period” and the moment that belief collapses into a deeper question: if you’re already talented and loved, why does chasing the next milestone still feel like survival?

We talk about the difference between success and fulfillment, and why external markers like cash, status, followers, and “being seen” can hijack your self-worth. You’ll hear how we handle the perfectionist voice when goals feel far away, what gratitude actually does for mindset and emotional regulation, and why an existential view of life’s absurdity can restore perspective instead of making you numb. We also dig into the real-world friction: discipline and structure can create financial freedom, but if it crushes your spirit, it can also poison everything you’re building.

Then we bring it back to action and creativity: somatic dance as body-based healing, workshops that blend movement and meaning, Vegas shows, DJ sets, and an upcoming album that uses auto-tune as an artistic choice while still telling the truth emotionally. If you’re chasing big dreams, building a wellness business, navigating sobriety, or redefining work-life balance, this conversation gives you language and tools to hold the “both-and.”

Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who’s chasing goals without peace, and leave a review telling us: what does success mean to you right now?

To book a FREE discovery call with Dr. Harte, click the link below:

https://calendly.com/drharte/free-discovery-call-w-dr-harte

Transcript

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Red Carpet Nerves And Laughs

SPEAKER_04 0:14

Welcome back everybody to the truth about addiction. I'm not even gonna pretend like I feel serious right now because if I do one thing, I think you guys will guess who the guest is. I just don't know if I'm gonna get the sound out without laughing, which is okay. So maybe that's just too much of an inside joke. Ricky Rebel is back in our good graces. And he was just making that sound, which by the way is a total vocal warmup. Yeah. Ever since I met him, at the most random and sometimes awkward times, he would just start strumming his lips together and doing a vocal warm-up. And I just said before the show, I think that's a nervous tick. And you said, I think it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

I'll be waiting before you go on the red carpet. I'm like, This guy, once I was like, can you stop doing that? Really? You're making me nervous. Oh my god. It's it's it's you know, it's gonna make me nervous. I'm like, well, I'm nervous. What about my feelings? This this makes this calms me down too. So who wins in that one?

SPEAKER_04 1:36

Oh my god, that's hilarious. Just picturing with that happen on the red carpet.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Yeah, like when you're waiting a lot. For an influencer.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

That is the most overheard in LA thing I think I've ever overheard in LA. Two divas all dressed up, having a slight heart attack because they might stay or do the right thing or not get photographed in their best angle, having an argument over who's disturbing whose peace. I mean, what? Where else in America would you hear something so ridiculous? Okay, and also, you guys, that is not at all what we're talking about today, but it's just something that happened right before we started to film live and it was too funny. I was like, who wins in that? Like, who wins in that? I think honestly, you want to play this game? I think that man is a grown-ass man. Like, handle your shit. Move to a new spot, handle your shit. I'm handle your shit. I mean if you are being if you are being really loud, doing it that'll be a little bit. I'm not loud, I'm like, I'm like, it's at me.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Oh, you know why I do it too? To save my voice. I know, yeah. Because it's so loud. I know, I know in these places, and then it helps to like soften your lips so the lips are cute.

SPEAKER_04 2:57

But also, maybe I can make this work. You guys, here's how I'm gonna on the fly transition, transition what's happening on the way you're watching him. Wait, but this is perfect. He just made cheekbones, you guys. Listen, you don't need filler, you just need to do this technique that Ricky's doing. Okay, maybe this episode is gonna be very different than what we thought.

Why Success And Fulfillment Get Blurred

SPEAKER_04 3:20

But here's the intention of the episode. Here's the intention. We were gonna talk about success. And so, what better way to segue into success than to talk about a Hollywood red carpet? Hello! Okay, I don't know about you, but all these years into therapy and spiritual work and sobriety, I still very much struggle with this. And I am I am acutely aware of the difference between success and fulfillment, but the lines get blurred rather easily. And a mantra that I have to say all the time when I start to get spun up around where I am in my business life, how much money I am making or not making is God, whoever and whatever you are, right? I say that in the most non-denominational way because I believe in God, just a very spiritual God. God, please help me want everything that I want. So all these external markers of success, all the money, all the notoriety, all the impact that I want, please help me want what I want and need none of it. Because the only place I get into trouble is when I think I need it to be okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Yeah. Yeah. So we're Sagittarians. Let's call us Bay as Bay. We we wanted it like a long time ago, you know, like we We wanted it lifetimes ago, it feels like. Yeah, lifetimes. We live life, yeah. Sagittarians want what they want a long time ago.

Defining Success And Naming Money

SPEAKER_04 5:20

So then long time. How do you first of all how do you define success?

SPEAKER_00 5:30

I I'm I'm super brutalist about it. I'm super brutalist. Um money is success. Yeah, money. My Capricorn is in Mars.

SPEAKER_04 5:50

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 5:53

The planet of um so Mars is the planet of ambition.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

So wherever whatever planet, astrologically speaking, whatever sign is in that that space is like what the success driver is, how you relate to success, how you want it. And I'm like Capricorn. Capricorns are notable shit. Like uh our girl. What's her name? Singer. Capricorn. Beautiful singer, right? She was very ambitious. We only have to say her name. Yeah. But she knows what she right, she knows what she wants. She tries not to let people take advantage of her. That's Capricorn energy. Like, I'm gonna get this done. And the bottom line is like money, money is very important to the Capricorn. Um, my Aunt Donna's a Capricorn, and she does like all the stocks, all the things, all the things. Why aren't you in Bitcoin? Why aren't you investing in this? Investing in that, Tesla, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. That's what they care about. So there's there's a part of me that is like that's what success means at the end of the day. Okay, and that's a very blunt part of me. But then there's a more spiritual side of me, right? Because I have an I I'm an Aries uh a Pisces rising, and I'm a Libra moon, and all these beautiful like beautiful elements about my sign and about who I am, and my the side of me that's like the the rising sign, like the the Pisces in me is like, oh that stuff doesn't mean shit.

unknown 7:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

And you fucking know it. Okay. Because you're gonna die, bitch. You can't take that money with you. Nobody takes the money with you. Everyone is on an equal field because everyone's gonna die. No one's above anyone else. Right? Like happiness can be achieved in the Congo, but they have no money. Happiness fulfillment can be achieved in you know in a in a tribe like that. So there is like this like conflicting ideas of what it means to be a success in my mind. It's kind of hard.

SPEAKER_04 8:10

If you had to make a definition that included all the sides of you, yeah, then how would you define success?

SPEAKER_00 8:24

It's having your cake and eating it too.

SPEAKER_04 8:30

Elaborate.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

It's having it all. Having it all. Having everything. Success is like not only are, you know, a lot of rich and powerful people are miserable. That's not success. They failed at that. So it's having money, having power, and being happy and fulfilled and loving and receiving love. It's all the all the things all at the same time. And being able to balance it. How well can you balance that? How much of those things can you have at the same time? So not lose yourself and not go crazy.

SPEAKER_04 9:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Don't connier yourself or brainy yourself or or or lacerate yourself, right?

SPEAKER_04 9:20

So if you're in a season where this is like just a general human question, right? You're obviously on the pod, so it's going to be directed to you, but it's directed at me and it's directed to the audience member who's listening. But if you're in a season like I am right now, I have the measure of financial success in my mind, very vivid and clear, what I want to earn, what I want all of that to look like, what I want my days to be filled doing. And I'm super far from that goal. So when that is the reality, where the financial or external markers of success are far away from where you want them to be. But then that part of you that you described, the Capricorn, right? And for me, I could say from more of a therapeutic lens, right? The the perfectionist part. What's the matter with you? Why haven't you figured this out by now? You're 43 years old. What the fuck is wrong with you? Okay, whatever we want to call that, and all the factors, spiritual, mental, emotional, psychological, that are driving us to feel like we're in a state of lack, what do you do to confront that? When that part of you shows up and is like, bitch, you're not, you're not where you want to be. You're not sick, that's not successful. How do you handle that? What do you do in the face of that so that you don't start to feel like a worthless piece of shit?

When Goals Feel Far Away

SPEAKER_04 11:00

Because that's really what this is, right? Like we are trying to talk about finding success as best we can every 24 hours without it being wrapped up in our sense of identity and lovability and worthiness.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

I saw this really great YouTube video, and I wanted to share it with you. I probably can find it again. It's a philosophical, I've been watching a lot of philosophy. And I forget what type of uh philosophy this is, but it's basically that it might be existentialism, a branch of existentialism that life is very is absurd. It's completely absurd. Like we're talking from head to toe. Yeah, absurd. And when you think about it, like when the uh there was a time in the the the Greek Greek times when they when they there was like sayings like if you are working your life away, you're a slave. You've you've given away your time the most precious commodity to something, including your own work or including making money, whatever it is, like that's how you've lost yourself. Like that, you you have become a slave. So the idea, so sometimes the person who lives on the street who is living, you know, might be more successful than you, you know what I'm saying? Yeah in different ways. It's it's completely absurd. Like so if if I watch movies videos like that, it kind of brings me back into perspective of my life. And I started thinking about like, oh yeah, like those things are told to us that those are really important things by humanity. But like in reality, if we were like just little tribe people just hanging out and we didn't have money, like it would just be like that would be our lives, and that's a real, real life that you would have, and you wouldn't have anything else to kind of compare it to, but because we're comparing we're ruining the joy in the moment. So I watch videos like that to help me balance myself and and kind of get back to oh, I am grateful I live in a nice home, oh I am grateful I have a nice car, oh I'm grateful I have friends, oh I'm grateful I can sing, I can dance, and I I start counting my you know, blessings. And then the the big one that you and I do is like I'm grateful for all the things that I don't want that I don't get. All the diseases that exist on the you know, you open that big book that's like this big of a disease that you possibly could have, you know, ailments or limbs that could be lost, and vocal cords and eyeballs and shit that you have. So it's like that's how I kinda kind of get back into balance a little bit more. But there are times like Patrick has been saying, like, you've been I'm gonna be really blunt. It's

Absurdism, Gratitude, And Perspective

SPEAKER_00 14:10

like you've been on a um midlife crisis journey for like five years. So when is that gonna no five months?

SPEAKER_04 14:17

What does he mean by that?

SPEAKER_00 14:19

So when is that gonna stop? Or when when are you gonna get when are you just gonna buy that Corvette or you know what I'm saying? He notices he notices my demeanor. Sometimes I just get really quiet. Like after that show that I was telling you about, it didn't go the way I wanted. The numbers weren't there that I wanted. Yeah, and I just felt like okay, I don't think we can do this anymore. Like I just think we gotta hang it up. And I just got really insulated. Um what was your question?

SPEAKER_04 14:50

Well, I I was wondering about why Patrick said that. What has been the presentation in you? Is it this toggling between everything that you want and being attached to the outcome and then being in fulfillment and feeling like I am so grateful everything is fine the way it is? Is it that you've gone back and forth in in the last five months in a way where he's like, um, are you okay? Or or is it something else?

SPEAKER_00 15:18

I think he just knows knows me really well. He knows when I'm bullshitting. And that's why I I love him very much. Um and he knows when I flounder. So I'm floundering around sometimes aimlessly in the house, you know. Or I take too long to do like pribbing things and you know, just kind of floundering a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 15:53

You can I think you can see like, oh my mind's racing, I'm not really I mean, because my partner lives a very structured life, but the life that we should should should all be living like quote quotations, everybody who can't see this, who's just listening.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Should be living like at this time we're gonna do this, this time we're gonna do this, this time we're gonna do this, this time we're gonna do this. And I I don't I'm so resistant to living a life like that. I just feel I just feel like a slave. Like I feel, I mean, I know that's what's gonna lead to freedom. That's what's gonna ultimately lead to this financial freedom we're talking about. Having more structure, you mean? Yeah, yeah, and being really disciplined about this time is for this, and this time is for this. You motherfucker.

SPEAKER_04 16:48

I love wait, this is so good because literally, in I've had a uh whatever we want to call this, I'm in the fun season of perimenopause. So sometimes there is just absolute hormonal chaos, and I think that's what this most recent dip of a mood was. But there were a few nights last week that were just a blubbering mess. And I literally haven't said this out loud about myself, I don't even know in over a decade. But I was talking to Rob, and we were talking about my business, and you know, he he says things like, I don't get it, like you're you're so smart

Discipline Without Feeling Caged

SPEAKER_04 17:30

already. That's a setup for me to feel like shit, okay? Me too! You're so smart, you're so smart, you did so well in school, but like with this business thing, you're just you're all over the place. See, okay, and I was like, I feel like a fucking failure. Literally, I was like, I I feel like a I am 43. I I am so smart, I'm so capable, I'm so talented, like, where are the cash and pri like where is it? Why does it look the way it does? Why is this so hard for me? And you know, one thing I said to Rob was like, well, first of all, honey, uh, school, they tell you exactly what to do to get an A. Tell me what to do. You want if someone wants to tell me exactly what to do to become a highly successful, well-paid public speaker and run a thriving wellness business and have high-ticket coaching clients that pay me an annual retainer because that's what I want my life to look like. I'm very clear. If there is an exact roadmap and you told me it would take 10 years, I would follow it until I got there. And I would be the best at following it. But I was like, Rob, there is no roadmap. And like you, Ricky, Sagittarian energy, whatever you want to call this, like the idea of just focusing on one thing until your eyeballs burst out of your head makes me want to die inside spiritually, right? And so, yeah, what is this balance of head down, hard at work, super focused, super disciplined, without feeling caged like a slave, like a prisoner of your own life?

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:23

And to be honest with you, like this year, this is the first year, maybe it maybe in my whole life, but certainly in a really long time, where I have had to resist the urge and temptation to run off to every single event, to be in every single room, to get all the pretty photographs and all the amazing footage, to make it appear as though I'm crushing it. Because I just kept outsourcing all my power when I was living that way, and I wasn't actually building. I wasn't building a book of business, I wasn't getting paid to go on stages. In fact, people were like, Yeah, you can speak on my panel, but it's also like $250. And I'm like, you know what? I have to stop the same way I've had to heal like codependent shit, where someone comes swooping into my life and they're sexy and fun and seductive, and they want they're obsessed with me, and then I'm obsessed with them, and then we have a huge fight and we never speak again. That's kind of what this reminds me of. It's like, what is the secure attachment version of me and my career? What is the version of no, I that the no is the new yes? I will only say yes when you are going to pay me, and I will pitch myself to thousands of speaking gigs until I actually get the yes that is aligned with my core values and my vision for

Secure Attachment With Your Career

SPEAKER_04 20:50

my life. And what is the version of me building a wellness studio where, yeah, if I want this thing to grow, I have to go out into the world and let everybody know that I'm a goddamn beginner and I have this studio and I have a new client intro special, even though emotionally I'm so exhausted from all the work that I've done. And don't you know you should be paying me thousands of fucking dollars? I'm the best at what I do. No, they don't know that. They don't fucking know that. I know that. What am I willing to do to humble myself and to detach the emotional work I've done, which by the way, there are fruits of that labor. I have a beautiful marriage, I have healthy children, I'm a conscious mother, I've broken generational cycles of addiction and dysfunction. So there is evidence of all the hard work, but detach that part from the business goals and just stay head down in the work, focused enough. Because even now, I'm not doing just one thing. I want to be a speaker and have this wellness studio. That's two very hard goals to achieve at the same time. But I'm I'm trying for both, and no one's gonna put either of those fires out right now, and that's fine for me. But the arresting of the temptation. And the desire to just run off and play is so difficult because that part of us just wants to have fun right now and knows that life is ridiculous and that we're living inside of a matrix and nothing is real and it's all gonna end and it's borrowed time, right? And and what how are we balancing that and honoring the part of us that knows we are deeply talented and meant to serve and impact the world at large with our gifts and talents because both are true, and so there is a tending to both that has to happen at the same time. So I've I'm like so much less available than I was, I'm doing a lot less fun things than I was, and I'm like, this is what it's gonna take times however many years of doing it. I don't know how many that is, could be three, five, seven, ten. If I actually want to get to the end game that I say I so badly want and deserve, so hard.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Yeah. And and as you were describing your reality and you know, your world, and I was like, this is so absurd.

SPEAKER_04 23:13

Which which part? Which part? The the sh the the striving?

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Yeah, you're already like I just see you as like successful, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:24

Isn't that so funny?

SPEAKER_00 23:25

And me too.

SPEAKER_04 23:25

Isn't that so funny?

SPEAKER_00 23:26

We're already the shit. It's just like it's just like the cat. It's just like Willow. Willow, like, imagine Willow, like, but daddy, I have to go over here and I really want to get this necklace and I have to work. And I'm not okay unless I do. I have to do this thing over here, daddy, to get this necklace so I can feel better. I'm like, baby, you're fucking willow, bitch.

SPEAKER_04 23:47

You're goddamn perfect.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

You're fucking perfect. Like, you're amazing, right? The cat is already. But imagine the cat if they had like goals like that. Like, well, I I'm not good unless I have the ring and I

The Inner Boardroom And Both-And

SPEAKER_00 24:00

have the the crown. Yeah, I gotta get that crown.

SPEAKER_04 24:03

Yeah. But what's fascinating, right? That's your response to me as you're hearing me, right? Yeah. But the way we started this conversation, minus the way we started the serious part of the conversation. When I said, How do you define success? You completely led with money.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

It was period. It was a period of period.

SPEAKER_04 24:31

And then as we've been talking, it's like you're pulling yourself out of the matrix and remembering. It's so weird.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

I know.

SPEAKER_04 24:40

And again, it's a it's not it's it's not an either or. It's not like you're right when you're chasing money and you're wrong when you're living freely and homeless on the street, but you're so happy and blah, blah, blah. It's not an either or, it's a both and. And so, right somewhere in the middle of the conversation you were talking about, well, I watched the videos and I get into gratitude both for the things I have and the things that I don't have that I don't want. And I try to coexist with these parts of me that are pulling me in seemingly opposite directions. And that's actually the work because we're not just gonna wake up, I don't think, and be totally self-liberated and not give a single fuck and not want to have the impact that we have with the gifts that we were given. That's not gonna happen, and we're not gonna be okay if that's the only thing we chase in our lives. And so, since both of those things are true, every 24 hours, it's like a you hit like a spiritual reset button, I think, when you go to sleep. I always say this when I wake up, I like describe the spiritual boardroom of parts of me. They all kind of assemble above my head. You know, the perfectionist, the the highly ambitious, the procrastinator, the free to do what she wants and pleases, Sagittarian, the right, all of them assemble. And and like my job is to go, tell me your grievances. I just want I want to hear from all of them. And I also wanna, so I want to honor their fears, their hopes, their dreams, their desires, and not be run by them. I want the version of me that knows she deserves both success and fulfillment to be sitting in the seat of CEO of that boardroom table, to take everyone's opinions into consideration and then just go out and do the very best I can to have a day that's a day that I that I work hard, that I can literally look back and go, yeah, I spent X amount of hours like really pounding the pavement, you know, letting people know what I do, offering something for free, like putting my work out into the world in a humble and vulnerable way so that I'm building blah and blah. Right. And I spent time in joyful things just for the sake of it. Joyful movement, joyful friendship, joyful food food. Yes. Like I want to try in a day to have a balance of both of those things because that's honoring the full expression of who I am. And if I have one day that's fully one or fully the other, I think there's a time and place to have like full-blown spiritual fulfillment days where you're just playing, where you're just dancing. I think those can be such a reset and a recharge for getting back into the business of your life and give you a whole swoop of energy that can be ultra productive. But in general, I'm trying to kind of live in that sort of both end space as opposed to either or.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

That's good. Yeah, I like it.

SPEAKER_04 27:51

So then how do you reconcile with the fact that your initial answer is success equals money cold with? Well, actually, Samantha, when I'm listening to you, that's totally absurd. You're already successful, so am I. We already have all the things. Like, what are we even talking about? This is a joke, life is a joke, this is fake, this is money with us. How are you like right now in this moment, how knowing both of those extremes seemingly exist at the same time, how are you dealing with that?

Putting Fun First Without Quitting

SPEAKER_04 28:24

I'm putting the gun to my head. I'm having a lot of sex. That's not the limiting, that's delimiting.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

You're gonna laugh. I mean, it's just ridiculous. I honestly I'm always gonna be who I am. And um and I I think that's the most important thing. When I was listening to you, I was like, okay, the struggle struggles start to happen when we're not who we really are. Okay. I think that's true. Totally. I think it might be true. You know, it's like if if I lean into what it is that I do best consistently and stop leaning into the things, you know, we talked about last episode about like divisive things. Nobody wants to see me be divisive or to even think. That's not me. That's not what people like me for. Really learning about okay, why do people like me? Why do people why do I like them? And you know, when we're having a good time with each other and vibrating, it's for me, my world is about having fun. So the more I lean into having fun with people, it's you're gonna, I'm gonna win. And I and I have been consistently winning with that frame of mind.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

So to answer your question, like lean into having fun with people, lean into having fun with people, and what comes out of it will come out of it. Let it be, whatever will be, will be. That's all I have control over, is like how much fun can I have at this party? And it's hard to have fun sometimes. It's hard to have fun when things aren't going your way, or it's hard to have fun when you know the outfit isn't kicking the way you want it to, or you know, the hair isn't right, or that picture look like shit, and you know, you look you have and you're thinking about yourself, and you know, you think about others, and you think about oh, this party is for other people to have fun with, you know, you gotta. I that's that's my work. I gotta get back into all the time is that frame of having fun. And for me, success is still money. I'm still not at that point where I'm like, you know, because success is different than fulfillment. You were just saying that, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

To be fulfilled is like one thing. But like I I definitely am the kind of person I I've well, like I think uh most of us are. We want the financial freedom to do the kind of projects that we want to do. So ultimately what we're trying to create is more fun, more projects that are fulfilling and fun. Like I want to make movies, I want to make you know uh albums for people and you know, um travel the world and and do all kinds of things and throw big parties and stuff like that uh and perform in them and have other people come in and perform at the same time and festivals, right? So to fund all those things, you need like big budget, so you need people kind of throwing that in. So I think I don't know, I'm still so cold about the idea, but I know in my heart that it's also not true. So it's like it's like a it's it's like a game you're playing with yourself, it's you're tricking yourself.

SPEAKER_04 31:50

It's so interesting this conversation. I think so many people are gonna relate to this because it's just uh conditioned in us from the the moment we get here, about the idea of success being external and very much financial. And it's interesting when you think about like success and fulfillment are two totally different things. We already know because we've seen it a thousand times, look at any sort of major celebrity that's overdosed, relapsed, died, killed themselves, right? Like you can have wild success, as you said, and be deeply unfulfilled. But an interesting question is can you be fulfilled and call that success? Even if you never earn the dollar amount that you've said you wanted to earn. Because it doesn't work the other way. You cannot have success and be guaranteed fulfillment, but you can have fulfillment and if you work hard enough at deconditioning your belief systems, you can have fulfillment and never get the quote unquote success that you set out to get.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

And that's the way of the Buddha, right? Like all those guys that they they live in the temples, and they're like happy as the clams, you know, not just gardening, but call it a day. Grow your flowers, call it a day, success.

SPEAKER_04 33:26

But I really love what you're saying, and I think this is such a great place to to end on because it's it's actually a really big concept. Uh on the one hand, using fun as a metric for how to measure your days is such a simple concept. It's it's so simple. So so I love that that it's so simple, and it's actually deeply spiritual and and not simple at all. Right. Getting yourself into a place where you are free enough to put fun and joy and play at the front and still be working

Ballet Structure Vs Freestyle Joy

SPEAKER_04 34:10

hard is inherently going to shift the energy, the magnetism, the vibration, right? We can get super spiritual and woo-woo, but it's going to shift your state so much, which is going to create an aura around you that is going to attract different people, places, things, and situations, which is going to kick doors open for different opportunities. And, you know, while it seems like a willy-nilly maybe strategy to the very sort of numerical CEO person, and you know, for Rob, he would laugh in my face at this conversation in this part because all he did, and some of it is deeply conditioned for him, was put his head down, not sleep, and work to the goddamn bone. And you know what? He has a big swinging dick of a business to show for it. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

Like my husband.

SPEAKER_04 35:06

The idea of him putting fun at the front as the thing he's looking for every day would be like, yeah, cool, you can do that, but you're just gonna stay broke. That's what he would say. That's what a lot of founders would say. Yeah, and I don't think that's necessarily true either. I do think there is a balancing act. You you can absolutely shove down the pursuit of fun and potentially squeeze the time it takes to achieve the external markers of success. That is potentially true. There are a lot of CEOs that would say that. You know, if you just focus on one thing and you are fucking relentless about it and you do not stop, just one thing, it's going to take off at some point. And then you can invite back. And there are plenty of people that would say, actually, if that's against your nature and doing that is gonna crush your spirit, and the energy you're gonna give off is kind of toxic and unattractive. So do it. It's not gonna work out for you. It's not gonna grow something. And if it does, you'll get you'll be that person that gets the cash and prizes and is fucking miserable. So it's part of this is like a little bit of this and a little bit of that, like knowing our nature and what we need to feel our best so we attract what we want, mixed in with probably a little more discipline and focus on the things that we really are great at that we really love doing, instead of being you know, in five places at once, can we try to just be in one or two? Yeah, like both, both are true.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

And I think working together with people who are ball busters like that, they really are Capricorns. Yep, let them do that work. Yep, that ball busting work because they find that to be a big bun. Yeah, and like and like your man, he went into a business that is very big bun for him. Like he loves coffee. He loves it, it's bun. Like he had to have some sort of yeah, he freaking loved it. He loves it, yeah. So I think that's why it's it wins for him. We have to, you know, find what we love, dive into that, and then outsource some of this really like if you're not a ball busting type, like don't act like like that. Was my thing I did with the Trump era. I tried to be somebody I wasn't. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna take on the energy of Trump. Like, I'm the boss. I wrote a song for I'm the boss, like, and try to wear this type of thing. It's like, dude, that's for him. I'm definitely not that person at all. I'm super like whatever I am, you know, artsy, creative, magic, fun.

unknown 37:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:55

That's what so really finding you know who you who you are, what works best, leaning into that. And yes, we could all use more discipline too, like you were talking about. I would love to structure, well, I would love that. I actually would hate that, but it would be very smart of me to be like, okay, on Mondays from 12 to 3, we we da-da-da-da. Which I'm getting better at. Yes, better at. It's just like ballet versus like freestyle.

SPEAKER_04 38:28

Exactly. That is such a good analogy.

SPEAKER_00 38:31

Right?

SPEAKER_04 38:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

We need both.

SPEAKER_04 38:34

Yeah, we need both.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

We do. We gotta think of this like dancers.

unknown 38:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

We need

Somatic Dance Workshop And Creative Risk

SPEAKER_00 38:40

ballet, we need structure, we need discipline. But sometimes we gotta let it go and just go where our body just wants to go.

SPEAKER_04 38:49

You know, it's funny, as you know, I'm kicking off all these wellness workshops, and then I for sure want you to share like what you're working on and and going back into success and also joy, right? I want you to just make sure you shout from the rooftops everything you're hard at work at and where people can find it and support it. In creating different workshops and seeing what lands, you know, this is like a really fun phase because it's more of an ideation phase. It's experimental. I'm not super attached, super, I'm a little attached, to the outcome. And so I get to just go, what what kind of workshop do I want to do next? You know, what what would I want to bring people together to experience? And in in the spirit of what is fun and what comes naturally, right? I mean, there's no question with me that you can't say dance, like period, full stop, my whole life. That's been the thing always that I've had the most fun doing. It still is, it shifts my physiologic state, shifts my mood. And I was like, how do I make a workshop that's centered around that, but still falls under the umbrella of something a little deeper than just a hip-hop class? Like, what would that be, right? And I, and of course, the minute I decided this, it's all over my goddamn Instagram feed. Thank you, AI algorithms. Um, I'm gonna have a somatic dance workshop. And what that means, essentially, and this is on July 18th on a Saturday, with a live DJ. I've never done, I've only ever gone to a club and freestyled if I want to freestyle, or taught a structured, proper class, right? Proper warm-up, proper choreography. The idea of getting people together and just being a very gentle guide and facilitator to move however the fuck you want to express and emote and release on a deeper level, whatever it is you're carrying, scares the shit out of me and excites me so much. But I'm like, Sam, that's you trying to stay in the structure of what you're building and be rigorously true to what you care about at the same time, and to what brings you joy and fun, right, and where you can serve others. And so that's like, you know, the more I have my space and the more I spend time dancing, the more I'm like, what are you doing not dancing? Like, I know you don't want to be considered a dance teacher and a, you know, like you're so much more than that, but it is a part of your brand and your ethos and your energy and what lights you up, and it's a vehicle you want to give other people to also express who they are. And that's a gift. And there's nothing shameful about that, there's nothing less than about that. You know, just because I have a fancy degree in one part of my life does not mean I can't also use this other thing that's a gift. So, this is like my attempt at everything we're talking about. Like, can I make this both successful and fulfilling? This next upcoming workshop, and can I grow it into something? And then don't you know, you know, this person that has a gazillion followers on Instagram? This is all he does is somatic dance. Oh, he hosts these hour-long sessions globally on the internet. Hundreds and hundreds of people are just virtual flailing around. Is it virtual? Yeah, and then he'll but then it spit it spins into coaching and body-based healing. And so his Instagram feed is this mixture of movement and how moving is so cathartic and why and what it's doing, interesting conversations around processing stress, tension, trauma through the body, not just through the head. And it's really this umbrella that I'm trying to be underneath right now, which is not just body, but body and mind, and the two of those things together. And I'm like, you know what? I know it's a thing that can be successful. I'm seeing it on my feed, it exists, people want it. Yeah, so now that's my like up and coming, you know, thing that I'm gonna try out. So more will be revealed. Stay tuned for that. But I love that.

Vegas Residency And New Album Details

SPEAKER_04 43:20

What about you? What's your current version of where success meets fulfillment? The project, the thing that you're promoting.

SPEAKER_00 43:26

Well, uh, I have a residency in Las Vegas.

SPEAKER_04 43:30

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

Yeah, it's called uh C3 Lounge. We're gonna be performing July 4th at C3 Lounge. You can get your tickets at C3LoungeEvents.com. And I'm performing Is that number three? Uh letter C and number three. Okay. Yeah, the number. I'm performing with April Diamond, this other Billboard Top 40 recording artist. Uh, you know, we're putting on a great show. But it's turning into a DJ set. So I DJed for the first time.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

Really?

SPEAKER_00 43:57

Yeah, yeah. A couple weeks ago. A week ago. And it was really, it was a lot of fun. So that kind of awakened me because I was really nervous to do it.

SPEAKER_04 44:07

I bet.

SPEAKER_00 44:08

I was nervous. And then I saw this boy on Instagram, like the same thing with your what you're talking about. He was doing exactly the kind of music that I'm doing, like the kind of like the same type of pop.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

All the pop girlies and put it all in there. And I was like, oh yeah, he he's like crushing it. So I'm like, yeah, that's like pretty much what I'm you know, where I'm headed and where I'm going to. Um so yeah, so definitely this next show is gonna be a lot more like a of a DJ set, which is really nice. It's fun.

SPEAKER_04 44:39

And then A Little Birdie in a Tree told me you have an album coming out?

SPEAKER_00 44:42

Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_04 44:43

Oh, uh will you tell us about it?

SPEAKER_00 44:44

I just uploaded my album to all of the distribution platforms, so that means it's gonna be coming out in August, on August 7th, and the album was called Filling the Void. And I'm super excited about this record, and you know, you know when you put it up on the distribution platforms, you're like, okay, put it to rest. Like, abandon this, and I I have had it for like months now, like just kind of doing minor minor baby tweaks here and there as I'm listening, and then finally I was just in Vegas and listening to the record, and I'm like, this shit's done. Please, this shit's done. I mean, I hear, of course, problems with it, you know, but it's never gonna be perfect, and I kind of I just love the imperfections as well. It's because it's it's a synthetic record that has a lot of emotion in it at the same time. I even wrote a song called Synthetic Love. All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is synthetic love. So he used the character, uses like programs and logic and reason to ignore shame. That's that was one of the lyrics. And uh deleting feelings that don't serve me, living this life like a robot, and then you kind of realize that there's a lot of emotion there in the record, even though I'm highly, highly auto-tuned. I just like that sound. Yeah, I do, I like it. I I've been watching like these indie singers like do these huge festivals, they're getting up there, and that they have like millions of followers, and no one knows who they are. Like no one, except for their core bass, and they are auto-tuned to the max. Way more than me. Um, no, but I did crank up the auto-tune. I do like that sound, but then certain moments I would release it and just have like a very dry vocal, too, so you can hear my voice.

SPEAKER_04 46:46

It's like I think listen, it auto-tuning when you can't sing to cover that up is a totally different thing than auto-tuning as a artistic and creative choice. Yes, right. I mean, you are you are super talented, so that it's just a preference at this point, it's a stylistic preference.

SPEAKER_00 47:09

Yeah, my mom is very depressed about it. Can you please take out the auto tune? And then I played the record for my aesthetician, Michelle, and she said it was the best record I've ever made by far. And she says this is incredible. Um, and she's she's a big Ricky Rebel fan musically. She like loves, she plays it on YouTube all the time, my music. Um yeah, I think it's a there's something very special about this this record. I was really heavily inspired by Charlie, XCX. That album, Brat, like kicked my ass. It's still kicking my ass.

SPEAKER_04 47:47

Yeah, you've loved that for a while.

SPEAKER_00 47:48

It's kicking my ass. And even her new stuff too is is brilliant. Um so she's been a huge uh catalyst for this record.

SPEAKER_04 47:59

So yeah. Well, I'm so excited to hear it. I've only heard some of it. Yeah, I think I played most of it.

SPEAKER_00 48:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:05

Yeah. I feel like I I need another serious listen.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

I think I need to have

Building Crowds Through Collaboration

SPEAKER_00 48:10

like I would love, I hate to say this, but like throw a party or something. Can we can we do like a canyon club, like dance party? Oh my god. And just like intermittently play the record or something. Jeez. Brian knows everybody at Canyon Club. Why can't we just do like a dance pop show? Like, dance music all night long, dance music, dance explosion.

SPEAKER_04 48:32

We can.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

And then I have guest performers. You can do your song, I'd throw you in the mix. I throw Tony in the mix, Johnny in the mix.

SPEAKER_04 48:38

Dude, the venue is right here. You should find out what they're you know, what the rates look like on a weeknight.

SPEAKER_00 48:47

It's just getting people to come. Dun dun dun dun.

SPEAKER_04 48:54

Yeah, but if it's a really collaborative effort that that helps. It's gotta be collaborative. You know, everyone can bring some of their own audience.

SPEAKER_00 49:02

Yeah. But don't this place needs like a dance night.

SPEAKER_04 49:06

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

Like 80s, 90s, 2000s. You should hear my questions.

SPEAKER_04 49:12

But Canyon Club has a built-in, like, if they would help market it, yeah, if we market it. We should see what they have and don't have already. And if there's like a gap to fill, that people who look to see what the Canyon Club has been doing.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

I've offered the show, I mean, off the record, off the record, off the record, like it's press play, it's already not bell, like a four-hour show, or two hours, whatever it is. And then I just I manipulate the sounds as we go along, you know? But it's like, oh, if you hear Whitney Houston playing, like you're up. You hear Whitney, that's your you're on. And you get up and you perform one number, like your number, and you get up. And at the end I'll play like a few songs from the new record, or

Cycle Breakers Event And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_00 50:00

like a few songs in in between. I think it'd be rad. But I'm saying, like success. What is I want that crowd, you know, I want the whole thing. But you gotta work towards that, like you say. Boots on the ground.

SPEAKER_04 50:16

Yeah, yeah. I'm having an event at Canyon Club, you know, my my events that I kept throwing and throwing and throwing, and it's not that it's not that people didn't come, but it wasn't growing compared to the effort I was putting in, you know, the time and the money and the monthly, and and so going into this year, that's another thing that I was like, I'm gonna hit the pause button because I need to recalibrate on what I'm doing with that. And I was gonna space everything out to be quarterly, and instead I was like, I'm making it an annual event. I am doing once a year. I am gonna give myself a long runway to promote it.

SPEAKER_00 51:01

That's smart.

SPEAKER_04 51:02

I am gonna get some serious ass people to come to it and give a lot of people time on the stage so they bring their own audiences, so I fill up the goddamn room. Yep, and I'm changing my marketing and my messaging. So literally, I'm about to start promoting for an it's October 20th, so it's months and away from it now. I have this woman who runs a super big annual event coming and speaking at it. Partly that is so that she can also watch what I do and see me speak and get to know me better because I really like her. I really like how her mind works, I love what she's building.

SPEAKER_00 51:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:43

And I it's about it's it's called cycle breakers. So instead of it being like heart conscious creators, which is a cool name, but it's kind of like, what is it? What is this event? What is it about? Who is it for? Cycle breakers, and it is literally for women who are finding their voice, owning their stories, and sharing their messages. Period. So it is going to attract a very specific type of person who wants to get their message out. And so I'm giving people like time on the stage to share a five or ten minute version of their story interspersed with a pat. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:17

It's like a speaker festival.

SPEAKER_04 52:19

Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know how well the first one's gonna go, but now knowing what it actually is, it's taken all this time with the book and like, what am I doing with this event? What is it for? What am I, you know, and because it was cool. I mean your event was great. It's cool. It's it's I love throwing events, but but it was very hard. It's a thing. Yeah. So just for today, everyone listening, just for today, try to keep all of your big beautiful dreams intact, but stay as detached from the timing and the specific outcome of them as you possibly can.

SPEAKER_03 53:01

Right.

SPEAKER_04 53:02

And don't fucking forget to have fun.

SPEAKER_00 53:06

Amen.

SPEAKER_04 53:07

Amen.