You are Not Broken, You are Becoming

Stop treating your pain like a verdict. We explore why so many of us secretly believe we’re “broken” and how that belief hijacks our choices, our boundaries, and our capacity to love. Through candid stories, compassionate reframes, and grounded practices, we map a path from shame to sovereignty—where every crack holds the gold of your becoming.

We unpack how self-abandonment takes root in cultural messages, family patterns, and even well-meaning therapeutic labels. Then we flip the script: pain isn’t a punishment, it’s a portal. You’ll hear how grief can mature into wisdom, how anger can clarify worth, and how fear can fuel growth when met with presence instead of avoidance. We offer a powerful cracked-bowl metaphor—honoring scars as luminous seams—plus mindful coping tactics you can use tonight: setting limits with numbing behaviors, grounding the nervous system, and choosing neutrality to open a channel for guidance.

Along the way, we share affirmations that rewire the inner voice from “fix yourself” to “remember yourself,” and we introduce guided meditations designed to anchor wholeness while you heal. If you’ve ever wondered whether your hardest moments mean you’re less than, this conversation offers a kinder truth: you’re a masterpiece in progress, not a problem to fix. Press play, reflect with us, and consider which crack in your story holds hidden gold. If this resonated, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs a reminder that they’re becoming, not broken.

Chapters

• 0:00 You Are Not Broken
• 1:20 The Myth Of Brokenness
• 3:20 Trauma, Culture, And Self-Abandonment
• 6:20 Remembering Wholeness And Neutrality
• 9:00 Overidentifying With The Wounded Self
• 11:40 Reframing: Becoming, Not Fixing
• 14:30 Pain As Portal And Teacher
• 18:40 Grief To Wisdom: A Friend’s Story
• 22:40 Personal Awakening And Calling
• 27:30 Earth School And Hard Lessons
• 31:20 The Cracked Bowl Metaphor
• 34:20 Daily Remembrance And Sanity Tools

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Undetected Narcissist. Today we are discussing you are not broken, you are becoming. So what if I told you, you are not broken? We've all been told a lie so many times that we started to believe it. The lie that we are broken, that we must be fixed, repaired, put back together by someone or something else outside of us. But what if the truth is you were never broken at all? What if I told you that everything you've carried, everything you've called a flaw, a failure, an error in judgment, or a fracture is actually the gold of your becoming. Today I am here to help you shift out of internalized shame, self-doubt, and self-loathing and into a deeper remembrance of wholeness. Like always, we are going to go down the rabbit hole. So I invite you listeners to soften your self-doubt, judgment of self and others, and put your shame in the corner outside of yourself. Do your best to stay open and listen with your heart, not your wounded ego or negative inner critic. The myth of being broken. We live in a world where the seeds of self-doubt are flying everywhere. The roots of the brokenness myth can come from our culture. Here's a few examples that it can be passed down from generation. There can be the unspoken belief about marriage, divorce, and the idea that one must do their duty for the sake of the family to survive in a harsh world. Then there are the unspoken beliefs about having a child out of wedlock or being a single parent. We can have the belief that one must work hard to earn a living and to put our dreams and hearts aside. Money often proceeds over joy, happiness, and love. Then there is trauma because when someone experiences PTSD, they well experience identity erosion. You could experience trauma from an auto accident, sports injury, a loved one passing away, losing your job, losing your home, or losing a substantial amount of money. In fact, you can get PTSD when you are busted wide open spiritually and have no clue why it is happening, but it is. And as you know so deeply and completely, any toxic or narcissistic relationship can create unintentional trauma to another person. Next is perfectionism and pathology. The list is rather long, but it exists for the expansion and evolution of our souls. As humans, we often feel that our creator has forsaken or betrayed us, but the chaos serves a positive purpose, as you will soon discover. The truth is, when we are in such a low vibrational state of mind, our creator guides and the angels cannot help us because they vibrate at a level beyond 5D human consciousness. They can hear our prayers, our cries, and screams for help and guidance. But we must at least muster up the courage to become neutral for them to answer us. Yes, neutrality is the key. To let go of the need to fight, to seek justice when another has wounded us, the need to force something to happen when there is a hidden greater purpose, and to have the courage to jump into the dark void and accept what is, to completely surrender and trust that something or someone will catch us. I have been there and I have walked this path more than once. These myths that we are broken, damaged goods, and lost souls keep us trapped in self-abandonment. If you're unfamiliar with the term, let me explain it to you. Self-abandonment is the act of neglecting one's own needs, emotions, thoughts, feelings, boundaries, andor values in favor of external validation and approval. At other times, this self-abandonment can occur to avoid a conflict with a difficult person or to negate feelings of shame or guilt. It's a pattern of suppressing and disregarding various aspects of yourself, such as your authentic desires, opinions, and emotions to gain acceptance or maintain relationships. Again, we learn this behavior to survive in a harsh world. This behavior often stems from childhood experiences of not being able to express needs of safety or love, or the need for safety or love. This pattern of suppressing and hiding our authentic inner calling and knowing could have been modeled by a parent, family member, friend, or even a member of your church. Being told that listening and acting upon our hearts' desires will only end in misery, disappointment, and failure. Told to grow up and grow a pair of balls, or to stop crying and face the reality that life is hard. So you'd better take whatever you can, even if it means hurting someone else. All these mixed messages leave us stuck in a fearful mindset, stunting our growth, soul's evolution, and dimming our inner light and blocking us from seeing, feeling, believing, and knowing that outside this vessel, you are a divine being. You are, and we're created out of light and love. Your mission here on earth is to one day awaken and remember who and what you are, to stop believing the lives of others and start becoming one with all that exists within this world filled with light instead of darkness. So each time we self-abandon ourselves by people pleasing, gaslighting ourselves, and second-guessing our inner calling, we can think, feel, and believe that we are broken because we lack the courage to say no or don't know how to set healthy boundaries. This self-abandonment can lead to chronic inner emptiness, anxiety, and self-sabotaging behaviors such as binge eating and other addictive escape behaviors. The truth is, everyone is a masterpiece in progress, not a problem to fix. We learn from our errors and judgment, plus we do what we must to survive. The problem is that as a society, we are often harsh and critical towards ourselves and sometimes towards others. Hurt people hurt people. And those hurt people need to wake up because in the end, the only one they are generally hurting is themselves. The light always wins. Even modern culture, therapy, and spirituality can reinforce the idea that we must fix ourselves. The red flags I see and hear over and over again is that too many people over-identify with the wounded self instead of the evolving self, as illustrated in the story of Stan, who questioned whether he was codependent. He was so fixated on the wounded self that he could not see or acknowledge all his accomplishments, strengths, and successes. Not until I pointed out all his achievements in the last six months could he recognize his evolving self. Another truth is your soul has never been broken, only humanly disoriented for a time. Remember, nobody is perfect. And we all do what we need to do to survive another day. Let me give you an example. Carol contacted me because she wanted to stop vaping. As I listened to her pain story, I could tell she was stuck in shame and guilt. She said that she felt like a failure, scum, lacked self-confidence, and felt stupid and weak for vaping. Carol was not foolish or weak. She needed to reframe her current situation. I told her that it was a stress reduction and survival tool. It met the need and worked as intended. There is no shame in needing a tool to reduce your daily anxiety and stress. Now she is in a better place and ready to stop using that tool and replace it with healthier alternatives. Therefore, she should be proud of herself because it took courage to speak her truth and ask for help. What truly filled her with shame and guilt were her thoughts and feelings about herself and societal judgment. And the good news is that after she listened to a custom recording just once, she did stop. All her self-doubt, shame, disappointment, and regrets melted away. She just needed someone to lift her up into the 4D and 5D human consciousness framework because she was stuck in a dark place. Where the myths come from. I want to explain the origin of these false narratives. First one, cultural conditioning. Western culture often views pain, dysfunction, or difference as a problem to solve, not a teacher to listen to, like the example of fear being your teacher and the blog post on men who were taught not to feel. Next is medical, the pathological lens, modern mental health language. Though valuable, often reinforce labels like disordered, damaged, or broken. These labels are not a life sentence for self-loathing. Then there's spiritual bypassing. Even a spiritual space, we're told to ascend out of pain rather than descend into it and find the treasure. That is why I said sit with your fear, as if you were it was a friend or teacher. It is here to teach you something. To ascend out of pain is to face it head on, to find the treasure, inner guidance, or positive solution within oneself. And then lastly, there's family and childhood wounding. Many internalized shame from early experiences, creating a foundational belief something is wrong with me. These myths impact the idea that if I am suffering, I must be broken. Reframing the truth. So let's reframe the truth and flip the narrative. You're not broken. You're becoming. What we call brokenness is often just the soul's signal that something wants to be integrated, not eliminated. The human experience can keep us trapped and fixated on the wounded self instead of flipping the script to the soul's perspective as the evolving self. We all came here on earth to learn lessons. Our soul chose earth as a classroom, not a punishment. Therefore, many of our deepest wounds serve as initiations to shift out of the 3D framework and into the 4D by showing ourselves more compassion, recognizing our self-worth, setting healthy boundaries, or empowerment embodiment. Everyone, including myself, is a work in progress, not a problem to fix. Because healing is not about returning to some imaginary perfect version of you. It's about becoming who you were always meant to be. We incarnate not to stay perfect, but to remember our divinity through contrast. That is why the harder the lesson, the deeper the soul's growth. Therefore, pain is not proof of brokenness. It's often a signpost of a powerful initiation, granting you the opportunity to turn pain into power. The pain we experienced in life is a teacher, not a punishment. The process of alchemy out of grief, anger, fear, and heartbreak is available to us 24-7 simply by having the courage to shift our perspective out of the pain and into information. As we begin to unravel the pain stories we carry, we inevitably reach the same conclusion. It is now just information from the past that impacts and influences our present and future happiness. We need to remember that we came to feel, not just ascend. Therefore, pain is a sacred threshold in Earth School. So we need to realize that everyone has the power to shift that inner narrative, moving away from the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that I am broken into I am being reshaped. When we make this shift, we are taking responsibility for our lives with grace and a deeper healing. Therefore, a rigid mindset comes from trauma. Fluidity is the return to the soul. Think of pain as a portal. It serves as a profound companion to the myth of being broken. It helps reframe suffering not as a punishment, but as a passage into awakening, wholeness, and soul mastery. What if your pain story isn't here to destroy you, but to awaken you? What if every ache, every heartache, every dark night is a portal, not into brokenness, but into your becoming? Let's reframe pain not as punishment, but as a pathway, because most of us are taught to avoid and numb pain. Whether through distractions, addictions, perfections, or spiritual bypassing, we try to escape what hurts. But in soul work, pain isn't the enemy. It's the messenger. It's the knock on the door that says something here wants to be seen. Something is calling for your attention and unconditional love. Pain opens us to the truth, our truth. Pain opens us to humility, grace, and softness, to what was hidden beneath the surface. As Rumi put it, the wounded is the place where the light enters you. So think of the tools within the 4D framework as a flashlight into the dark corners of your pain within the 3D framework. The alchemy of pain, from suffering to wisdom, how pain can alchemize. I shared a story of how my friend went from grief into gratitude. He was stuck in the salvation mindset, which aligned with grief, but he could not see how he was evolving. I wanted him to discover the lessons within his pain story. And when he stopped resisting going within and started asking questions, the grief softened him. It taught him what mattered most in being happy and being in a healthy, loving relationship. If your soul came here to earth to learn the lessons of loving unconditionally, to seek that knowledge, a person will be put in situations where they must love those who are hard to love. Like my friend. Our spiritual journey is to return to oneness and discover our place within it. Our spiritual destiny is to give all of ourselves unselfishly, unconditionally to everyone we meet. And that, my friend, is an excruciating and messy lesson to learn because part of us will think and feel that we are broken when we are still becoming. Yet once we understand it and alchemize it, everything changes. We do transform pain into power. Therefore, the grief taught him to listen and stop trying to save wounded women. It taught him why we should not ignore the red flags or warning signs. To realize that what he had let slide, ignored, overlooked, and justified only caused him pain and heartache. He deserved to heal. The pain story kept him feeling like a failure. Over time, his heartbreak became a boundary and a discernment. He learned the hard way what love is and what love is not. His anger became his clarity. He realized that he must honor his anger instead of suppressing it. He needed to learn that his anger can sometimes reveal his worth when dealing with someone who doesn't respect his boundaries or accept his no. Eventually his fear became his transformation. The fear he faced became fuel for his evolution. Therefore, pain is a spiritual fire. It burns away illusions, so only truth remains. He feared that he could not save his ex-wife, and the truth is he could not. She did not want to be saved. He feared attracting the same person again, but that fear motivated him to learn about trauma-bonding relationships and toxic people. He feared the shame and humiliation from his church members, but if his church members cannot find forgiveness for him unconditionally, loving a drug addict, then maybe that is not the right church for him. Each time his pain and fear became his teacher. He stopped running from it and wanted answers. He wanted so badly to stop hurting day after day. Eventually the pain did stop because he alchemized it into wisdom. He took responsibility for both his actions and his lack thereof. He saw the truth because the fire burned away the illusion of the fairy tale. Picture perfect marriage. After all, no marriage is perfect. And remember, his list of how his pain story transformed his life was endless. Now, let's get personal here. The painting, the light by Akani spoke to me and inspired me to write my book and create this podcast. For I saw a face within the painting, and that face was Archangel Gabriel. Sister Miriam has seen the face as well and knew the name, even though I never told her. Our creator told her. Crazy but true. Then when I experienced my second spiritual awakening in 2023, it scared many people, including myself, maybe even you, and I am so sorry for that. I was having direct conversations with the creator, and I was not ready, but it was time. I was being guided to teach humanity how to master the upper rooms of human consciousness and ascend. Yet I also saw the United States torn apart, the American people divided against one another, and many more dark and unpleasant visions. I did not like it. Yet I was being called, awakened, and I became spiritually unmoored. It was like I was a boat, adrift at sea, tossed by uncertainty. My spiritual anchor, which once provided stability, was ripped away from my ship, and I became fragile and lost within our vast ocean. Therefore, our Creator has chosen various souls to be here on earth to support humanity with the ascension process. I am not alone. Some are chainbreakers of generational trauma. Others can be authors, painters, composers, podcasters, spiritual advisors and healers. Season four is proof of this fact because I was guided and called upon to share this wisdom with you, dear listener, for the evolution of your soul, to ease your pain, soften your wounded and guarded hearts, and shift your perspective to raise your vibration. I just had to wrap my head around how I would do this daunting task. And yes, there was a part of me stuck in fear, rejection, self-doubt, and confusion. It reminds me of a bunker's bumper sticker I once had in my car that said, Jesus is coming, look busy. Yes, some thought and believed I was broken, but I was not. I was becoming. Yes, I doubted myself and questioned why me. I now know why. Because the majority of people talking about narcissism and toxic people come from hate, anger, and fear. I do not. I was being called and guided to support humanity out of the human experience and into the soul remembrance and awakening. Pain and Earth School. You came to Earth not just to feel joy, but to feel everything, to master contrast. And yes, the contrast sucks. We all, we're all here to walk through darkness and remember your light and your truth. Pain is a teacher. It teaches with intensity because it matters. The deeper the pain, the more sacred the lesson awaiting behind it. Think of a time you were in deep pain. A moment that nearly undid you. I sure can. When I lost custody of my son because a covert narcissist convinced the judge that if her artistic son lived with his father, all his artistic reactive behaviors would go away. It was hell. But that contrast in pain was my becoming. The becoming of the undetected narcissist book, podcast, and blocked post material. So think of a time when you were in deep pain. That moment that nearly undid you. Ask your soul, what did I gain from that experience? How did I change? What did I learn about myself? Let silence speak. Now ask your soul. What if I've never been broken? Only learning how to hold my wholeness again. Let the silence speak. Then gently affirm, that wasn't the end of you. It was the threshold of your becoming. Pain is not a detour on your path. It is the path. It is not proof you are broken, it is a portal. Walking through it with grace, with support, with soul, and you will find yourself on the other side, wiser, softer, and more whole than ever imagined. I'm living proof of this fact. Healing isn't about becoming someone else. It's about coming home to yourself. Self-love becomes radical when it's rooted in the truth that you've always been whole. What if that moment you thought you were was your undoing was your initiation? Like the story of Tammy and her scratchy voice. Pain is not proof you're broken, it's the portal to your becoming. Imagine you're like a mosaic made of shattered glass, pieced back together with gold and love. It's not broken glass anymore. It's a masterpiece. Pain is not a detour on your path, it is the path. It is not proof you are broken, it is a portal. Walk through it with grace, with support, with soul, and you will find yourself on the other side. You well. Healing isn't about becoming someone, it's about coming home to yourself. Self-love becomes radical when it's rooted in the truth that you've always been whole. Metaphor story The Cracked Bowl. Let me offer you a vision, a metaphor that lives in the heart of this truth. Once there was a sacred bowl made of the finest clay, hand spun by the divine itself. Smooth, strong, perfectly shaped. It was born in wholeness, and yet over time as it lived in the world, it was dropped. It was mishandled. Life cracked it. A piece chipped from betrayal, another from grief. A deep fracture appeared after abandonment. The bowl once whole now lay scattered on the ground. And the bowl thought I am broken. I am no longer worthy to be held, used, or seen. Who would want a broken bowl like me? But one day the divine came back not to throw the bowl away, but to pick it up gently. With sacred hands the divine gathered every piece, every shard, and then it did something unexpected. It brought out gold, molten, radiant, shimmering gold. And with great care the divine began to rejoin the bowl's broken pieces, not by hiding the cracks, but by honoring them. Every fracture was filled with gold. Every wound became a river of radiance, and when the bowl was whole again, it looked nothing like before. It was more than healed, it was transformed. In fact, it no longer saw its cracks as flaws, but as proof how deeply it had lived, how much it had learned, and how fully it had returned to love. It was never broken. It was always becoming. You are not broken. You are becoming. Affirmation transmission. I have an affirmation transmission, and you can place your hand on your heart as I speak these words, and let these words land in your body is truth. I am not broken, I am becoming. I am whole. I am healing and I am home. Daily remembrance. If you still need to do some unhealthy escape behaviors at the end of the day that saves your sanity, then do it mindfully. There is a big difference between need and want. If you need it, you need it, period. See it as a temporary tool. But if you want it, you always can change your mind. And when you progress, you can take it or leave it. Then you are in a position of self-empowerment. Eventually you can let go of all that temporary tool was when you're ready. For example, if you binge eat or drink alcohol, do your best to set limits before engaging in the activity. A person can binge eat on snacks, healthy snacks, take fiber supplements before eating, or limiting the amount of junk food in your home. One could have a beer and then have a non-alcoholic beverage. Just take one day at a time. Remember that everything in life is temporary and only something good can come from this. Listening to a guided meditation or drinking some calming tea can help calm and soothe the nerves. One can disengage from social media and avoid talking to harmful or toxic people. Spend some time outdoors in nature. Take a walk, listen to calming music, exercise, or take a hot shower or bath. Mantra that saved my sanity. And this is key. When I lost custody of my son, I created a mantra that saved my sanity. It was this. This is only temporary. And only something good can come from this. I did not know what or how at the time. In 2019 was the year of hell, and some might call it the dark night of the soul, but it was not one night. It was an entire year. Yet I can look back upon it all and breathe a sigh of relief. I was not broken, I was becoming. Shifting out of the 3D mindset of darkness and the light transformed my life. My faith is the unknown, and grace kept me going. My unconditional love for my son kept me alive when his father wished I would take my own life. When we think and feel we are broken, it serves as a reminder that self-care is an integral part of the evolving process. Beating ourselves up and staying stuck in self-loathing only causes us more pain and suffering. It also triggers those unhealthy, addictive escape behaviors. And as I always say, do for yourself what you would do or say to someone you love who was in the same exact position? What supportive, caring, and kind advice would you give them? How would your tone of voice be when you spoke to them? Compassionate or judgmental? Would you provide them with grace or would you want them to continue to suffer in self-loathing? Learn to be your own best friend. Final thoughts. I'd like to share some daily positive affirmations that can give everyone the strength and the courage to stay on the path, even when it's painful. You can write these down on a post-it as a visual reminder that you are evolving. Here are twenty positive affirmations. And if you want any of these, you can go to the blog post. It's all here. One, I'm not broken, I'm becoming. Two. Every crack in my story holds the gold of my becoming. three. My soul came here to learn, to love, and to rise. four. I am allowed to be in process and still be whole. five. Healing is not fixing, it's remembering. six. I am safe to let go of the belief that something is wrong with me. seven. I honor my wounds as sacred teachers. eight. I am held, I am loved, I am light. nine. I am a living work of divine art, cracked open and filled with gold. ten. I choose to see myself with the eyes of compassion and grace. eleven. Every crack is a doorway to more profound wisdom. twelve. I honor the lessons my soul chose to learn. thirteen. I am whole even as I heal. fourteen. My story is sacred, my journey is gold. fifteen. I trust the divine is shaping me with love. sixteen. I am not here to be perfect. I'm here to be real. seventeen. I am s I am safe to release the belief that I am broken. eighteen. May I remember that I was never meant to be perfect, only whole. nineteen. This is only temporary and only something good can come from this experience. And twenty. I surrender and put down my weapons. I allow grace to guide me divinely. Like always, I have created a guided meditation titled You Are Not Broken. I will incorporate a grounding technique to help you connect to your body, heart, and soul. Then you will visualize the sacred bowl resting before you, and this bowl is you, your life, your journey, your spirit and form. You may see cracks, chips, and missing pieces, but you will visualize a golden radiant and warm light. This is the light of the divine love. Every fracture becomes a river of gold as your story is being rewritten, not erased, but transformed, reminding you that you are not broken, you are becoming. It also includes some affirmation transmissions to help you integrate and anchor this and your divine remembrance. I was also guided last night to listen to some of my guided meditations from a few years ago, and this one woke me up in the middle of a deep sleep. The title is Chaos to Change. I created it in 2020 when I was still recovering from narcissistic abuse. I've been guided to include it as a parting gift for season four, dear listeners. And what makes it so profound is that the painting, the light, spoke to me and directed me to sit in front of my mic and channel Archangel Gabriel's wisdom, not just for me, but for anyone stuck in chaos and in need of hope. So when you listen, you can hear his voice, wisdom, support, and hope. Towards the end, there is a healing angel that will wrap its wings around you, taking away your pain and suffering. So I hope you have enjoyed season four. This is my last episode of the season. I had an unfortunate event happen and I will be having surgery. So when you listen to this, I'll be resting in bed. So I had to cut season four short. Yet I will cover a few topics I missed in season four on my other podcast, Master the Upper Rooms of Human Consciousness, in season two. Therefore, I have a small request. Please rate this podcast. Share your thoughts. If it has positively changed your life, give the gift of inspiration and appreciation to those in need because people do read and rate reviews. And Love and Light, Angela Meyer, Carrie Logan.

unknown: 36:24

Bye.