Nurturing Security: A Holistic Approach to Financial, Emotional, Familial, and Societal Well-Being S2 EP 11

Explore the interconnected security aspects – financial stability, emotional well-being, familial bonds, and societal connections. Discover practical strategies to cultivate a sense of security in all areas of life for enhanced happiness and fulfillment.

這篇文章探討了安全感的不同方面，包括金融、情感、家庭和社會，並提供了如何在這些層面建立穩固安全感的方法。

Here's what we go over:
五個主要要點：

1. Financial Stability for Peace of Mind: (金融安全感)
   • Learn effective budgeting techniques to manage finances and reduce financial stress.
   • Establish a budgeting system using accessible tools like phone notes to track expenses.
   • 瞭解如何設立預算以管理財務。
   • 監控收入和支出，並設立符合個人需求的預算。
2. Emotional Resilience Through Connection: (情感安全感)
   • Understand the importance of emotional security in fostering resilience and well-being.
   • Cultivate open communication and support within familial relationships for emotional stability.
   • 家庭成員提供情感支持，使人感到安全。
   • 建立情感連結，提供情感穩定感。
3. Familial Bonds as Pillars of Security: (家庭安全感)
   • Recognize the significance of familial relationships in providing a sense of belonging and security.
   • Foster strong family connections through mutual understanding, forgiveness, and acceptance.
   • 家庭提供穩定的情感支持和安全感。
   • 了解家庭在提供安全感方面的重要性。
4. Societal Connections and Community Support: (社會安全感)
   • Acknowledge the role of societal connections in providing a supportive network and sense of community.
   • Engage in community activities, volunteering, or social groups to foster a sense of belonging.
   • 社區和社會環境提供穩定性和安全感。
   • 參與社會活動和群體提供社會支持和連結感。
5. Holistic Approach to Security and Well-Being:  (建立穩固的安全感)
   • Embrace a holistic perspective on security, integrating financial, emotional, familial, and societal aspects.
   • Prioritize self-care practices, including mindfulness, self-reflection, and personal growth, to nurture overall well-being.
   • 在不同層面尋找安全感的重要性。
   • 了解安全感對心理健康和幸福感的重要性。

Today's other content that you have to check out!

Episode about the Grand Canyon

Worlds Collide The Podcast about moving abroad

Transcript

Sense of Security_#71

Eric: [00:00:00] This is episode 71 talking about a sense of security Hello everybody and welcome back to Taiwanica podcast. This is Eric here Bringing to you now new information that we have discovered to help bring you a better more happy life So, without further ado, what is sense of security?

Well, don't let me jump in too quick because I have forgotten to introduce the one and only Anita! 

Anita: Hi everybody. My name is Anita. How you guys doing? It's It's very happy, I'm very happy to be back on recording because we were taking a little bit of a break to celebrate this girl's birthday. 

Eric: Oh yeah, and did we celebrate it well or what?

Anita: It's not well, it's 

Eric: FABULOUS! Ah, yes, that is exactly right. It was so good. We went to Arizona. Right. Yep, [00:01:00] and we went to see, where did we go see? 

Anita: Oh, my, one of my bucket lists. Grand Canyon. 

Eric: That's right. The Grand Canyon. It was so grande. Yes. Grande grandioso. Yes. It was just so, it's really good.

Breathtaking. No pictures can describe how it really is. It's just amazing. So if you ever get the opportunity. Definitely go check it out. 

Anita: Yes, and in our previous episode we talked about the top five must go to And in the usa we mentioned about more details about grand canyon So if you're interested and go back there and check it out, 

Eric: absolutely we'll put the link in the description down below for that exact episode.

Yes and also before we dive into today's episode, we have two things that we want to do. One is our shout out of the episode and that is going to one of our dear friends who actually came to the United States to come visit us and has been a big supporter of Taiwanica and [00:02:00] she herself actually donated, not one, not two, but three coffees at buymeacoffee.

com. For taiwanica and her name is 

Anita: sydney sydney 

Eric: sydney sydney from taiwan Thank you so much. Thank you so much for your donation to taiwanica and helping us stay energized for every every episode Absolutely. And now what was the other one that we were going to do today? 

Anita: The other one is the one that you've been on to receive the interview from the podcast.

It's called world world Collides Podcast. 

Eric: That's right, World's Collides Podcast. It is a wonderful podcast if you're interested in learning about how other foreigners from different countries move to these countries to experience culture, language, and the like, and they share their points of views Thank you.

Very similar to what we do here on taiwanica podcast about how does a [00:03:00] foreigner feel? About living in a foreign country and what is their deep experience from that? So if you're interested in that Definitely check out the link in the description below in today's episode We will be sharing that from our good friend who is the podcast host over there.

So definitely check it out. Yeah 

Anita: Very good. Very good podcast. 

Eric: Yes, very fun indeed So let's go ahead and talk about our episode of today Right, and we have something that a lot of people would find to be, you know Is this really an emotion? Is the sense of security actually something that I feel? I don't understand because I thought security was something that was given to me, right?

These are the questions that people often bring up when they think about security. Anita, what's your point of view about sense of security? 

Anita: I think sense of security is the root of a life. Think about it. If you don't feel secure, you [00:04:00] don't, if you don't feel safe. You won't have good emotions, right? If you don't feel safe, you probably worry about things or living the fear.

So actually there is a good connection between sense of security and your emotions. So Actually, I have a research down here says security is actually your emotional security. So we will be diving into more about that and like explaining why actually sense of security is one of a factor that affects your emotions.

Eric: So it even sounds like it is a root of emotions, right? If you don't have a sense of safety or security. You know, I feel like we can interchangeably use these two words today, is if you don't have those then you can't technically feel free to express any other emotion. 

Anita: That's true. Give you an [00:05:00] example is like if you are planting a seed If the seed is not being planted in a safe place per se, like, you know, if the seeds probably will get eaten by the squirrel, for example.

Or, in the lands too wet or too dry, no matter what, if we don't have the sense of security for this seed, the seed will just die. Probably died out or whatever. It's gone. It's gone. But if you are secure this seed planted very nicely in the environments like the seed doesn't have to worry about other things.

The seed only need to worry about its own growth. Then what happen to the seed is you will start growing. Flourishing. Yes. And that seed being planted in the sense of security place. it's the root. So you start growing bigger and stronger. So think about our human is the same, right? If the baby was being put in the place, it's secure.

The baby, you're just going to grow [00:06:00] bigger and happier human. We are the same. If you're going to be a little bit nerdy about this, it's like our root chakra, which is our first chakra. When you do the meditation practice, that's the chakra in charge of Security, right? If you don't feel secure, then you cannot go up, you know, imagine your future, whatever, right?

So, it all comes down to the very first step. which is sense of security. 

Eric: I like it. I like the overall analogy of plants and then children and meditation. It's you're hitting all my favorite spots. Great job, Anita. So that's definitely the truth here with this sense of security is that basically when we're focusing on, okay, if I feel.

safe, then pretty much everything else falls after that. Which is interesting because in our life, our personal story that we'll be sharing in the middle of this episode. So stay tuned for that is [00:07:00] how are we feeling where we live now and how we are actually planning to change our lives? To go somewhere else.

Where is that? You'll find out later. Okay, but for now. You'll find 

Anita: out. Later. Later. Stay tuned. 

Eric: Pew, pew, pew. Okay. Oh, God. So, let's go ahead and dive into The aspects of security okay, because there are a few of them so we're going to be bringing up four aspects today about security We're going to start with some of the ones that you would least expect and then we'll go into the ones that are more You know possible to expect for the sense of security.

So if you don't mind i'm going to start So you see, you don't even waiting for my answer. It's like, why 

Anita: are you following asking? 

Eric: I'm sorry. Who are you? Okay. The one that I really want to do today is focus on is societal security. I can't even say it. Let me try that again. So societal security. [00:08:00] Okay.

Okay. This one here is important to keep in mind because of a few factors. One, what is society? Okay, society is the place that we live usually. I thought you're 

Anita: gonna be super philosopher. What is the word? I can't even say the word philosophical about falafel 

Eric: about I love falafel. 

Anita: Falafel is really good.

Eric: Mediterranean food. So, society is the place where we live, obviously, unless you live in a cave, you know, but good for you. I don't know how you're listening to this while you're in a cave, but good job. Most of the time, for most people, you're living in a place where there are other people, okay? And what do other people do?

Well, they get together. And what do they do? They talk. Okay? And so what do they do while they're talking? Well, they're usually doing an event, okay? And so this is how society kind of runs. And so when you're doing an event with people, you're usually at a place, okay? And so this is where society, social security and [00:09:00] societal security come into play.

Okay, so one of those things is very obvious. That is, if we are doing something we're gonna go to, say, for example, a community center. Okay when we go to a community center, we actually get to meet a bunch of other people there. And when we do that, what happens? We connect with strangers. We're doing an activity with those people.

We're connecting with everyone on that level. It's just a really interesting way of communication that happens. And so, what I'm trying to get at here is that with community centers, that's one way to be able to build.

Another way to be able to build in societal standards is, how can we connect with people through other standards, such as going to churches, okay? So, churches can also be a place where we communicate well. Then, when we do these kind of communications, What happens when we go to these community centers and churches?

Well, we build [00:10:00] relationships, and when we start building those, we feel safer around the area that we live. Just like planting seeds that Anita brought up before. The root that's been created helps us know that, oh, if I'm ever in any trouble, I can always go back to that community center, or I can go to the church.

And communicate to that specific person I talked to before about my problem, whatever it may be. And they may not be able to help me, but if they cannot help me, that's fine. Because they can actually send you to another place to plant another seed. You meet a new person. And that's how it kind of starts to develop.

You build this garden through a social standard. And after doing that for a long period of time, you build A societal security. Mm hmm. So let's bring this all into one example right now That is anita and I we moved to oregon two years ago [00:11:00] Okay, and within two years we've met quite a few people and Some of them are locals and some of them are taiwanese and some of them are from other countries by doing that just by meeting people connecting to people doing this little bit here and there You The sense of security of being in this city has grown more and more and we feel more emotionally safe to be ourselves in this area.

So that is actually one major factor that you don't even realize that you're doing most of the time. Right? You're just talking to people. It can even be a small chat, like you go to McDonald's. You go talk to the cashier there. You do it one time. Okay, but that one time counts as a seed you go to mcdonald's next week after that you talk to the same cashier You built a little bit more on that relationship You do it enough, you might actually create a friendship from that.

Right? It goes like that. That's how societal security works. Isn't that interesting? 

Anita: That's very [00:12:00] interesting. So it comes back to actually one of our very first episodes of the season 2 we talk about sense of belonging. That's strength that you have in order to build your tribe, in order to build your community, build a friendship, and in order to get that societal level.

Since it's a security you got it. That's amazing. 

Eric: I know so it's just like we already have hit the the second layer of it with It's not a fun now. We're hitting the bottom layer of it. Yeah, right. Absolutely So that was the first one that I wanted to share and it just really helps you understand that Wow You know in the day an age that we live in now where being an individual is, you know, very common But at the same time, it's a very life threatening factor because a lot of people these days, one of the most common things they say is that, and it's really ironic because we're so connected around the world with communication of like phones and internet and all these things.

But the most [00:13:00] common thing is people are lonely, you know, and it's just really sad because this idea of. Having a sense of security through your society. It's just not something that we're commonly taught. Mm hmm. And so we because we don't understand that this is a really important factor for us being in an emotionally balanced level.

Mm hmm. We don't. We don't do anything about it. And so we create actual emotional imbalances. 

Anita: That's true. Very well explained. Thank you so much for the first one. 

Eric: Absolutely. 

Anita: Yes. So sometimes you should just, you know, stop and think about and look around your life. Then, you can get a sense of security, hence why you will get the emotional security as well.

Eric: I'll never forget when I was a kid and I went to the grocery store with my mom. Back then people didn't have cell phones, right? And so people would wait in line to talk to a specific cashier. Right? There's like eight rows. A people that they could talk [00:14:00] to. But it, my mom would always go to the same row to talk to the same cashier.

And I was thinking, you know, why would you do that? There's a lane over there that's open, we could just go there right now. But she's like, no, no, we're gonna talk to this lady. And I was thinking, okay. They're, they're not friends. They're not buddies. They don't do anything together. They just would do that.

And every time we go there, I was just a young kid. I didn't really realize, but I noticed that my mom felt safe to express deeper emotions with this person, where on the other hand, if they went to another cashier, it would just be very small. Yeah. Just 

Anita: being really, really grab the things that you want, pay the money and.

Leave. 

Eric: Yeah, or start from the beginning again, you know, build a small relationship up to be able to talk about deeper emotions Yes, right. Yes, it's interesting. But anyways, that was my last example go for it 

Anita: Of course. The next one, I would like to talk about the second one, which is financial security.

Eric: Ah, yes. 

Anita: I gotta [00:15:00] say, this one is probably the biggest struggle for most people. Okay. If you're not, good for you. But what I'm saying is, that's all, you know, the feedback that you heard from people, right? Oh, something, something, just so expensive. It's Impossible to afford something something, you know, I really wanted to do this, but I don't have the money to do so So that's the reason why I said what I said Which is the financial security is probably the biggest issue that people are facing right now in this world It's not just in taiwan.

It's not just in the usa. It's worldwide, especially, you know, a lot of things After covid inflation those kind of things. Yes, right So, how can we gain financial security? 

Eric: Hmm, okay. Let's hear some ideas. 

Anita: Okay. So, every time we think about financial security, we think about financial freedom. Which is like the ultimate, all human's ultimate goal is to have financial freedom.

But how to get to financial freedom? You have to do a small step each [00:16:00] time. And that's the fun part because you get to practice every month because you get income every month. That's true. Even though you see yourself having the same Income each month, people think about oh... The price is getting higher and higher, but my income stays the same So what you look at yourself and the income that you have Play with it.

Like this is your chance every week not every week Sorry every month to practice because nobody can tell you what is the best way to achieve that financial security because It's one kind of feeling we mentioned about in the beginning of the episode. So each person's feeling will be different. So you have to go just experience .

Different kinds of numbers, different kinds of percentage. And to find the perfect balance of getting what you want and also, at the same time, satisfy [00:17:00] and feel secure about the money that you have in your bank account. So this is the biggest idea you should keep in your mind. Each month is fun because you get your income that you get to, Practice and to find the perfect balance for you.

Eric: This is a really great topic. And honestly, we could talk about this in a whole episode, I honestly think. But the one thing I really am curious about is how can we connect sense of security to our finances through an example? Like what is one thing that we all could do to increase our sense of security with our money?

Anita: That's really good questions. Because the most people that. Don't feel financial security is because they don't think they make enough. They don't think they can afford the things they want, but actually it's not true. Find out the things that what you really want each month. We put in the effort to make money.

We want to get that sense of like, a reward from something, [00:18:00] right? So income is a perfect example that you put in the your time each hour eight hour nine hours a day Then by the end of the month you get the reward So you are you should be able to in control take in control of how much? You are going to spend But we all know this, this like, if you overspend it, you're gonna be sad.

So you won't have emotional security. 

Eric: Oh, so that's a sacrifice that happens. 

Anita: Yes. So every time the biggest The biggest lessons we always learn, either from your grandma, or from your teacher, is never overspend it. For example, if you've made 50k each month, you're not going to go out each month to spend on 70k.

Right. Right. Doesn't matter that you are following your heart to buy a certain things. You know you get to buy things, you have the joy. For that moment, but if the things were causing you worrying about [00:19:00] other things in your life for the next six months or for next year to year five, then don't do it because you will live in the fear for the next five years because you're being constantly worrying about certain things.

So you won't get your security in any kind of aspect. 

Eric: So no security in the finances is a consequence. That affects your emotional security and also the security that you feel around you. Exactly. So if you don't have this sense of I'm secure with my money, or at least I have a good plan with my money, then what happens with that as a result is very simple.

You just don't feel safe. At all. 

Anita: In the world you live in. It's dangerous. Yeah, like, oh, that person tried to rip me off by charging this amount of money. 

Eric: And it could be really small stuff. Exactly. 

Anita: Right? So you started to be like, Very stingy [00:20:00] So you don't have this kind of engagement with other people And people think about otherwise about you and you start to judging other people, you know, it's all Like a snowball effect, right?

Exactly 

Eric: So it's really interesting because and I think this is a perfect third Sense of security. I don't think it's possible for this to be the first sense of security because money is not necessarily You A sense of security by itself Right if you have a little bit of money or a lot of money You can still technically feel secure in yourself.

Exactly. It's possible but the Idea here that anita is bringing up that I love is that you're feeling secure with your finances means that you have More bandwidth or just a more flexibility With being able to express yourself in any kind of situation outside of your own life Right. [00:21:00] So my life is I'm here right now But maybe I want to go somewhere like just our example going to Arizona For that would have been very financially stressful for somebody if they did not save for it Right and so because of them Us saving the money to go to that trip and having that support in our society To be able to do that trip.

We were able to feel free to do whatever we wanted during the trip right 

Anita: and this is a perfect example because for us like going to arizona is You know, like it's affordable trip, it's reasonable price, but more for some people they might think it's too pricey. Right. For some people might think it's kind of like a, you know, going from Taichung to Changhua, a trip, you know.

So that's fun thing about financial security is it's so practical. We're using it every single day. Everybody's using it. Doesn't matter you're broke, you're poor, you're rich. [00:22:00] You are using this every single day, but at the same time, everybody's feeling towards this thing, this aspect is so different. 

Eric: And it's such a, like, taboo topic.

A lot of people don't feel, like, secure to talk about this to people. Just keep in mind that we have definitely felt like that before, and you can feel free to reach out to us if you feel the same way. One of the things that we've learned through our own struggles is ways to Tackle this easily and I think it's a really good time to share some tips.

What do you think? Yes Do you have any tips that you'd like to share? 

Anita: I think that that gave us saved us from the from the scarcity of Towards to money, to like where we feel secure is definitely the budget thing and the saving 

Eric: So budgeting and saving 

Anita: a lot of people's like that's impossible to save Ask yourself, just give yourself three months, for example, 

like 

Anita: each month you give it like 10, 000, for example, then three months [00:23:00] will be 30, 000.

Just give yourself that little goal to say, I'm just going to save 30, 000 and I'm not going to touch it. This will be, even though just have this amount of money saving there without touching it. It already give you the sense of security, say, Oh, I don't have to worry about the worry about something. If today something happened, I know I have something there.

So they save your mental energy, meaning you can put in your wisdom to other parts of your, for example, your life or budgeting. How can I make more money? Right. So since the security, even though a lot of people just like, I'm not just, I'm not going to save, it's impossible to save money. By saying that you are shutting down the door of getting.

Reacher. 

Eric: That is so true. You are literally closing all opportunities around you to no longer be accessible by saying I cannot. 

Anita: And you telling yourself, like, it's impossible to buy the house. Buying a house, the door is shutting down. Shut down, [00:24:00] not just shut in. Shutting down. It's like, yes. So, like I said, each month, give it a try.

You know, just start with something small. Everything is like this. I know it's not all, we keep on saying those pro, you know, people have been saying that, you know, For hundreds of years, 

Eric: budget, save, budget, save. Okay, let me give you a very clear example of how we budget and save, okay? So, in our life, we are also, you know, we're, we're working on creating a successful business.

We're like Taiwanica, yeah! Okay but for us to be able to make a budget, It's a strict enough that where we're able to not only make money and be successful, but also have opportunities to go on trips like we just mentioned, all comes down to budgeting concisely about everything that you do in your life.

So I'm talking about how much money do you spend on food? How much money do you spend on your gasoline for your car or your [00:25:00] scooter? How much money do you spend on entertainment each month? Make a limit for each one. Now. I'm not saying when you do the budget that you have to Stay only in that range, right?

So for example our budget for entertainment right now I think it's seventy five dollars a month and that's usually enough for us to go out and do some fun things We're able to go out to a couple of restaurants We're able to maybe even go see a movie or you know, something like that and with that money Sometimes we go to eighty dollars instead of seventy five you But we just having the budget to see, Oh, I've already spent 75.

Then you just know consciously that you don't need to spend any more this month. Right. Just stop. You stop for that month until the next budget comes in. You're like, yay. You know, I, you feel excited about it. You have new money that you can use. For that specific thing and you're [00:26:00] staying responsible around that budget line, right?

And when you do that, wow, guess what happens all of the things in your life are starting to match That and on top of that you're able to do The things that you really want to do not the things that people are out You're hearing about or you're just thinking about unconsciously. You're like, yeah, sure.

Why not spend some random money? You're doing the things that you really want to do And on top of that you're staying in a money budget zone. You're staying in this zone and when you're going into the next month you realize, whoa, you know, I actually just saved like two, three hundred bucks. I don't know how I did it, but I did it.

Where does that money go? Into your savings, right? 

Anita: Yes, and I think Just by really sitting down looking look around your life and setting up budget Just giving yourself the awareness because I've heard so many people say are you spending this much money on subscription? because you know the [00:27:00] a lot of from that, they need a subscription, like memberships.

So each month, and they are very smart because you can set up like a automate payment, right? Each month. Yes. So you just, oh, it's small money that I can totally do that. But, At the same time you didn't put in the awareness about how much money you're spending each month, right?

So by just looking around your life What is the things that you need to spend each month? For example, like a gym membership or shopping for yourself or gasoline those kind of things just give yourself the awareness to pay more attention about Every time when you are going to spend money so you generate more Gratitude towards to that too, because at the same time you are like, Oh, I'm in control.

This is the feeling that you should associate with your, your money. Most of people just feel like they are not in control every time they get the same amount of income and life just spending all the time. You know, I have to hang out with my friends and someone's birthday is [00:28:00] coming. you don't feel like you're in control.

You feel like most of the time you're forced. To spend this much money in order to get something right, but one like I said, you set out the Budget give you awareness about your lifestyle and you literally think about like is this friend I wanted to keep around, you know, maybe I'd hang out with that because of peer pressure you got overall thinking about your life 

so There 

Anita: is no Bad Aspect come from that setting up the budget 

Eric: I hear a question coming up in probably a lot of people's heads right now, which is okay.

That's very nice But how do I do that? So let me give you a very clear idea of how you can do that because anita's idea of explaining everything Is super important, but we got to know how is this effective in anybody's life? Okay Do you have a phone? Well, i'm pretty sure you do because you're probably watching this on your phone So or listening to this so, what you only have to do is go into the notes section [00:29:00] of your phone and create a note for your budget.

And all you have to do after that is go through your credit card statements or check out your, you know, receipts. Keep your receipts. And if you're in Taiwan, I know you keep your receipts because you're, They use 

Anita: something called, oh god. The e receipt, right? They something, yes. 

Eric: The e receipt, yes.

So you can look through what you've been spending. Okay, and but just basically look at your income that you get from your work, you know, how much money you're making Okay, that's your baseline Now you're looking at okay How much money am I spending for rent if you're you know, renting a house or how much do I pay for my mortgage?

If you're buying a house and then check out anything else that's big that you have monthly like your monthly subscriptions Your car payments if you have a car, okay Any of these things that are no matter what going to happen every month get those written down first They are the most important to get down after that Set up a budget in your mind that feels comfortable.

Like for us, we have a food budget of 150 a [00:30:00] month. That is comfortable for us. Based on our budget and how much we like to eat. Okay, so find a budget number that works for you. Keep in mind, if you make a number, stick with it for a couple of months. Try it for two or three months and see. Is this really comfortable for me or not?

Am I spending more than I usually should in this area? Mm hmm, and then just adjust, you know adjust things, you know, you can change 20 in one section and then put it into another That's what we did. Right. And when we got comfortable with our budget lines We stay in them and when we stay in them, we feel emotionally secure 

Anita: Mm hmm.

And emotional stable as well. 

Eric: Yeah, stable. Sometimes we're just like, with sometimes our bills, we're like, Oh, Yes. 

Anita: And we started to blame like, Oh, it's definitely because the rent is too high. Blah, blah, blah. Look at this. Look at this house. You know, you start to find like a little bit of negative expecting more in your life.

That's just the emotions, like the [00:31:00] angry emotions, right? Yes, but 

Eric: in reality, it's really not like that. It's just a matter of how you are going to be responsible for the money that you make. It's really that simple. That's true. Yeah. Wonderful stuff. So now that we hit most of that, is there anything else that you would like to share about finances?

Anita: You know, it's something that has to do with your emotions. And there is a really cool, cool tip I actually learned from, yeah, from somewhere else. It's like, Budgeting is great. Sometimes it's like, oh, this month is my birthday. I just want to spend a little bit of money Right, but nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, nothing wrong with that but if this spending a little bit of extra money or A lot will causing you a lot of stress in the future Then this is the, when you feel like you're losing control, either you lose the, the things you really wanted to buy or you lose the money, right? So it's like, Oh, geez, how are we going to do?

So simply put is you already have the [00:32:00] awareness by setting up the budget, right? So now you think about deeper, if this is the thing you really want, you're going to enjoy this thing for the next. certain amount of time, then go get it. But if your answer come back is like, no, you're just buying this because it's impulsive shopping or whatever.

You can still gain the control back by simply putting the money, like certain amount of money, for example, you wanted to spend 500 for certain things, but if this thing will causing you stress in the future, then you just simply transfer your income. Account, like you transfer 500, that's the money you are supposed to spend on the impulsive shopping.

This amount of money from income account to your saving account, you are in control. It's like, hell yeah, I feel like I got Like 500 that's true to saving then you see you're saving money goes higher and higher You [00:33:00] know in the future, you are able to enjoy something bigger than this Impulsive shopping whatever item 

Eric: that is very true.

Anita: Yeah, just by think about it and do this kind of thing. You're still in control that's how you get financial security and When you feel like that you feel happy. So Again, emotional security. 

Eric: I love it, you know, and that's the one thing I really love about savings Is that not only do you get that sense of like in the future i'm set if something happens but on top of that Savings alone has this powerful thing called compound interest, you know, and so every time that you are doing Saving you're going to start seeing even more money rolling in Now you go, Oh my God, I got this much money coming in right now.

That's crazy. You know, it isn't expecting that, you know, so it's just a really interesting part aspect that can happen. Don't you think? Yes, definitely. 

Anita: So, you know, just like I said, have fun with it. Don't always feel stressed about your money. Don't [00:34:00] care about how much money the house is going to cost. If you have this If you gain this skill, I will say this is definitely a skill everybody should learn.

Absolutely. You are in control of at least one part of your life. Then, how are you gonna get a house? You will figure out a way because you already have the knowledge about budgeting, adjusting, you know, flexibility, everything. Then more likely, like I said, you will gain more and more money, more and more freedom.

And you can get bigger things in the future. 

Eric: You got it. That is definitely true. Yep So I think these three aspects that we've talked about so far have been fantastic They literally have give us a clear idea about how everything interconnects, right? money Friendships and, you know, like societal connections and also our emotions are all intertwined.

Now, the last one that I wanted to talk about, which I think a lot of people don't think about a lot, but I want to just bring it up here in today's [00:35:00] as the last topic, is family. Okay? 

Anita: Ha! So, Just kidding. Number four is 

Eric: family. Now, how does family And we're going to look at this from both an American and Taiwanese point of view, okay?

So how does family and sense of security connect? Okay, this is one of the reasons why We all have families in some way or another, no matter how broken your upbringing was or how perfect it was. We all have somehow connected with people to the point that we would consider them a family figure. Figure, okay, unless you were in a very, very strange condition where you lived on a solitary island where somehow you have wifi and you're listening to this.

Okay. But the whole point I'm trying to get at here is we are all in this world with other people. Okay. And some of these [00:36:00] people we grew up with, or they helped us grow. Okay. And so we consider these people family family. And somehow just knowing that they exist or they are a part of this world with us gives us a sense of security.

Why? Why do we get a sense of security from these people? Well, if you look back hundreds, thousands of years ago for humans, how did we survive in a world of hungry animals? And dinosaurs. Ah, there's no dinosaurs when we were here. But you know, how do we survive with all the cold? and You know scary animals that lived in the forest with us.

Okay, we did because we were together our unity This is very similar to community. But the only difference here is that back then there were no community centers Back then there were no churches you were all Working together to survive, right? That's the key word Okay, [00:37:00] so In cases in life where things aren't going wrong or they're not going well, what do we do in these scenarios?

Well, one of the main people that we connect to in those situations are our family members because they are the people that when everything else is going wrong, they are still there to talk to you about it. That sense of security right there, everybody. We have the sense that whenever we're going to be in a life threatening situation, we have that emotional support to connect with someone.

Even if we don't have good connections with them, we can still reach out to them for help in a survival stance. Interesting, right? 

Anita: Yeah. So just like I mentioned about in the beginning, like, when you're having a baby, the first thing that you are gonna get, I mean, as human, when the first time you are born, the first sense you're gonna get is the sense of security.

It's like the basic requirement for [00:38:00] every human life, which is, survival. Like, I know no matter what I'm going to live, Because I have my mom, that's why, you know, all the babies are super connected with their mom. And when they first were born, even animals like, you know, ducks, everything like all the animals, I have the strong, strong connection to their mom because that's the way they can grow.

If they don't have this survival, support or whatever, they are not going to go anywhere. They're just going to die. Then your life ends. So this is the first yeah, sense of security is very important for human beings, especially when you mentioned about like family, even though I don't, I don't tend to have a lot of time spending a lot of time with my family.

But just knowing there are in Taiwan actually gave me a sense of, 

Eric: Now, I'd like to ask you, since you're bringing that up right now. Right. From a Taiwanese perspective, [00:39:00] do you think family is a very important sense of security, even when you're an adult? Yes. Okay. Why? 

Anita: Because we know where we come from, we know, no matter what, even though we have a lot of arguments, we even know we have so, you know, like generation gap, whatever you want it to call it, like the, our point of view about life, about everything, just so different, but no matter what, we know they're going to take us in if we go home, so it's all in everybody's mind, like Doesn't matter what, I know if I'm going back right now because of, you know, my marriage has failed or my business has failed, you know, I lost a lot of money.

No matter what reason is, you go back home, they are going to, no matter what, scolding you, say, I told you not to do that, but, 

Eric: I told you that was a bad idea. 

Anita: I told you never listen to your mom, you know, things like that. But they're just going to say all this kind of things. But, they are hard still always.

[00:40:00] Accepting you for who you are even though they never say that but that's in their heart 

Eric: I love it. And so i'm going to take that and just put it into an american twist here eric style and that is when we were just in arizona the other day we stayed at my sister's house and I haven't seen this sister for 20 years, you know Like I did see her earlier than that, but we weren't really communicating in any way but the last time we actually had a link together was about 20 years ago.

And the very first thing, when I first opened the door to her house, I saw a sign. And that sign on there said something that completely connects to this. No matter what. Family. Okay, that's what it said no matter what family and that right there says it all is that for her She understood that whenever things hit the fan or go crazy out of the wire out of the blue She knows that family comes first [00:41:00] Then she has felt that sense of security from that right?

And so when I saw that and I connected with her I knew that Automatically that we could connect link without any need to Be polite or work up a relationship like at the grocery store with the people we were automatically full trees not seeds, trees. And we're just completely connected without any of that time meaning anything.

And so, with that sense of security, I actually built a more sense of security in myself. Because I now know that I have another sister who is willing to watch out for me in case anything were to happen and me for her as well, you know, so I'll show you about that.

But yeah, it's very fascinating, don't you think? 

Anita: And just like, Every time, like, even though we have arguments with our parents, like, I, I have nothing, you know, I look like, [00:42:00] nothing like my, like, look, let me say that again. 

Eric: Alright, I'll give you one more chance. Maybe two. 

Anita: I look nothing like my mom. Doesn't matter how much you want to deny the connection.

It was still there and then just so strong, you know, it's so strong. It just it it's impossible. I think that's like Like our biology just like that, you know Either it's like from our genes, you know genetic fact or whatever it is just like Family is just always together, and it doesn't matter how far I wanted to run away from my parents.

Every time I see my sister, I was like, God damn it, we look exactly the same. 

Eric: You do. You and your sister look so similar. 

Anita: And sometimes I look at my photos, like, oh my God, I look like my mom. 

Eric: Oh, yeah. You do sometimes too. 

Anita: Yes. But even though I, you know, we were complaining about that because this kind of relationship is very funny because we want that person to be exactly what we want them [00:43:00] to be.

And they are the same to us. Like, you're my kids. I want you to be a certain way. Yes. But We are just trying to be so different. Right. Just to piss each other. Yeah, 

Eric: but that's family, don't you think? That's family, but. And if you think about it from a family perspective, that totally makes sense. But a sense of security sense is that none of this matters.

Right. Right. Exactly. Because if you understand love, Is that even though I don't want to love you. I love you because you're family, right? It's just part of family Aspects, right, you know And so now I just want to really connect this really close to the emotion because that's the main point of this topic right is With emotion with family and sense of security these three things together There is something very interesting that happens Okay, when you have family And you feel secure in that place.

You're going to [00:44:00] feel an emotional sense of security. And that means that you're going to feel safe enough to do new things. You're going to feel safe enough to try new things. You're feeling safe to express yourself in different ways because somewhere out there in the world, you have a safe place to go.

Okay? But on the other hand, let's say for example, you used to have a parent But that parent is no longer here. Like for example, my mother recently passed away. And so with that, for people who have lost someone in their family that they used to have, what happens to them emotionally, right? So that sense of security also disappears too.

So what do you do in that kind of scenario? Well, the first thing is to acknowledge it, you know, acknowledge that, oh, I used to feel more secure emotionally than I do now. Because a person that I used to rely on for being secure emotionally is no longer there. So that's why I'm feeling more angry, I'm feeling more [00:45:00] insecure, I'm feeling sadder.

All these things because you have lost a link, a very important link in your emotional security. Okay, that's, that's a humongous thing to realize, okay? On the other hand, if you are, you know, having someone that passed away and You don't have any way of linking that to somebody else, okay? That means you're going to remain in this emotional insecurity until, until you decide, okay, maybe it's a good idea to find another person to rebuild this emotional relationship with.

Okay, so for me, before, I had my mother, who I would rely on for all these emotional securities. And when she passed away, fortunately enough for me, I already had Anita, who is here to be that anchor, to be that tree, that's our example here, tree to express my emotions with. Mm hmm. So the transition of emotional security for me was actually a very stable one.

Mm hmm. Okay? [00:46:00] So think about it for you, if you are in this kind of situation right now, who could you transfer this emotional security to? Because it's important. It doesn't have to necessarily be a family member but think about someone that you can rely on for a long period of time Because that person is going to take on this very important role for you.

You need to have emotional security That's what this whole topic is about. If you don't then everything else in your life will start to be unstable so Keep that in mind family security is very important to have and if you don't know How to gain it inside of your family? You Look outside. You definitely have people that you're close to.

Find someone that you can rely on for this because it's definitely an important factor. 

Anita: Right and you know, just like practice and if you look at yourselves like five years ago or ten years ago, you're a different person. So you don't expect other people would react the same way. So there's always More than [00:47:00] second chance.

Just give it a try because we are all human. We don't even mention We're all just family, right? You lost contact with your father for so long, but you guys are still able to rebuild Relationship and rebuild a sense of security even in right now include your long lost Sister, 

Eric: yeah, just to give some insight for the fans.

I didn't have a relationship with my father for about I think 20 years as well different 20 years from my sister But for the last 10 years, we've been reconnecting and that has built an emotional sense of security for me 

Anita: right because That's all life is about. You can always, definitely have the ability to rebuild something.

Doesn't matter you have lost your beloved parents or beloved family member. There is always new family member. There is always new situation, situation for you to practice that. 

Eric: Especially if you're looking for it. Yes. If you're looking for someone to help you with that, then it will happen. Without a doubt.

So [00:48:00] just keep that in mind. It's definitely possible for anybody. If you want it, it will happen. Right. Yeah. I think that's a really good place for us to stop. Yeah. Hey, 

Anita: shut up. Shut up. 

Eric: we're going to say, this is Eric and Anita. Thank you. Here to talk to you about Census security. If you really liked today's episode, definitely check it out on YouTube and Instagram.

Also if you really liked our episode and want to support us, definitely check us out on buymeacoffee. com forward slash Taiwanica. And finally, we are about to broadcast our brand new website. We're very excited about that. So we will tell you more about that in the next episode. 

Anita: Yes. We'll see you guys next time.

Eric: All right. Take care.