The Big Sister Advice Episode

In today’s episode, we’re catching up on life lately  from New York, work, fitness, sport mom life, and the shows I’ve been obsessed with 👀 Plus, I’m answering your questions and giving big sister advice on marriage after kids, feeling behind in life, becoming a realtor, staying disciplined, money lessons, and the hard truths women need to hear. Grab your coffee and let’s chat 💕

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello loves and welcome to the Veronica Ramos podcast. It's Veronica your host. I'm so happy to be sitting here today. It makes me so excited to sit down and record a podcast. It takes so much of me though, just because with work and everything, but I turned my phone off and I was like, I'm not gonna let no one disturb me. I'm going to record this episode. And that's just what I need to do because I will never have time if I do not make the time. And I love doing this. And I'm honestly taking it as part of as part of my business. Like sometimes I overthink it of like, am I doing the right thing by doing this podcast? Like, am I just wasting time? Should I just be working instead of doing this? And then I remind myself, like, no, I love doing this. You can use this as you know, just tell yourself it's part of your growth, it's part of your business. That way I don't overthink it. So please show me some love and like engage with my episodes because sometimes I like I see the views, but I don't see a lot of engagement, and I kind of get a little bit down because I'm like, does anyone even care? Do people even like these episodes? But I'm going to continue to do it just because I know that's how the process is. I remember starting real estate and feeling the same way with my videos, and just I remember, um, I siempre I don't want to be annoying with the same story every time, but I just remember feeling the same way with my part with my real estate videos, and then they helped me grow so much, so I'm like, just think about it that way. Um, but how are you guys? I am doing so good. I'm feeling grateful. I feel good today. I I went on a walk this morning, the sun is out, it was so hot. I grabbed myself a little Starbucks. I love me a Venti Extra Eyes Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew. I like any coffee, but lately I've been a lot into not super sweet coffees. For such a long time, I loved like really sweet coffees, and now I'm like, oh my god, I don't even want a sweet coffee. I want something that will just wake me up and get my day going. I ordered this, it's so good. I love it. So I just went on my little walk with my coffecito, and I was listening to a really good book that I'm listening to right now. It's the um Start with Yourself with Emma Grade. Highly, highly recommend that video. I mean that book. I just am obsessed, it's just nice. Like every time that there's something, a book of someone that's super successful like her, I'm going to read it. And I just love that. I just feel like I finally took like a breath of fresh air. Is that what it is? How you say it? Of just like how much I relate to her in the way of like motherhood and business, and it's only a small percentage of women that think that way, and I feel like she got a lot of like hate on it, but I feel like the women that get it get it on that video. I mean, I keep saying that video on that book, and yeah, I just love that book so much. I am listening to it on Audible, but I am gonna go buy the physical book and give it to all my like entrepreneur friends. Um, but yeah, talking about friends, I am in a journey right now of just making friends and having my own little group of not group, just having a few girls and being intentional about my friendships. I feel like with the years, I was always so focused on work that I didn't grow any like close relationship with friends, and I'm kind of at a point where I'm like, I really want like a few girls that we travel and we like die hard and we just love each other, and just like a little group of friends, and I don't know, I crave that honestly. Like, I want like a few friends that we can like travel with here and there on a girl's little trip, and I feel like I do have now a few friends, and I've just been intentional with like reaching out, not going MIA on them and just calling them like once a week. I know it's hard because we're busy mom life, but at the end of the day, we do need friends, you guys. Like, I know you say we say like we don't need friends that we can not talk to for months, and then if we talk to them, it's like we never left. Yes, but at the same time, it's so nice to have friends that you can just like hang out with. Like, I crave a friendship of like I can just go over and we don't do nothing, and we just hang out and we're just chilling there, you know. Like, I want those type of friends, so I've been a little bit more intentional on that. Today I'm just chit-chatting on the podcast, just kind of catching up, having some girl talk. I am currently watching, I watched The Crash. Have you guys watched that documentary? It is crazy good. If you haven't watched it, go watch it. It's on Netflix. I can't believe it. I love documentaries, like I will watch every I think I have watched every single documentary ever invented. Like those are my type of shows. I prefer that over anything. And then I started watching a novella, it's called Amor Verdadero, I think. I saw it on TikTok and it is so good. Oh my gosh, it's on VIX, it's so good, highly recommend it. It is super long, I think it's like 140 episodes, so you kind of just have to put it on the background because girl, you're not gonna finish it. Let me know what shows you guys are into right now. I always love having like things to watch, especially at night. I finally got a TV for my bedroom, and it's so nice to just chill at night and just decompress, and still in my health journey, still getting training with the personal trainer. Honestly, it's part of me now. Sometimes I don't go, but most of the time I do. I'm honestly going three times a week for sure, and here and there I'll do the fourth. Um, but I do skip the fourth a lot of the time, and I've also been doing the TMR Pilates class. You guys, I am obsessed with that. I feel like it's so good. Sometimes I do feel like I'm going backwards instead of forward, if I'm being honest. Sometimes I like look good, and then sometimes I gain weight. I'm always in between like five pounds, and it's so frustrating. I feel like I've been stuck like at 160 for so long, and I don't know. I really I feel bad because I was so locked in for the winter, and then the summer is here, and I'm kind of slacking. And honestly, the thing is that I'm not slacking with going to the gym, it's the eating part, which is crazy, it's weird because so here's what it is I go work out three times a week for sure, four times, three to four times a week. I'll do a TMR, and I love going on my morning walks. Like the morning walks, just I wake up, we get the kids ready, they get ready for school, and then they go to the bus stop. I go change really quick, I go on a walk, like a 25-minute walk, and that I feel like has saved me a lot because I get my steps in, and then I go to the gym at the 8 p.m. I love going to the 8 p.m. right now just because I feel like my mornings, I don't know, I've been really sleepy and I've been really tired with just so much transition with like my real estate. So I just go to the 8 p.m. because in the morning I need my rest right now, and I've honestly been loving, I know I go back and forth of like waking up at 5 a.m. or 6 a.m. And who cares? That's the thing is that you can do whatever you want, whatever works for you, and that's it, you know. Like I I will always do just what's best for me. I don't care sometimes about like reading books that say that you need to wake up at five in the morning. Um, like yes, when I feel like I'm in a funk, like if I feel like I can't get out of a funk, I will start waking up early. That way I can get like back on track, like if I'm slowing down and if I'm just letting go too much. But anyways, I have been waking up at like 7 a.m. I go do that, but the eating part is the hard part. I have been eating a lot of protein, which has kept me like not gain weight and has helped me. I think it's because I have this mindset of that I have to do the meal plans, like it comes down to the eating part, right? I feel like I've been stuck at the 160 because I eat protein, I eat a good breakfast and I eat a good lunch. That's that's what I feel that has kept me not gaining weight because I'm always good with the breakfast and the lunch, but it's the dinner where I won't, you know, I'll eat protein, but then we'll go to my in-laws, or uh we'll make something and then I eat it, and that's fine. I haven't gained weight and I feel amazing, but if I want to lose the weight, it comes down to the eating, and I have the meal plan for my trainer, so whenever I want, I can just start it and then lose weight. So that's kind of where I'm at. I'm gonna start my new meal plan again, and just also I'm going to start going to the weekly check-ins. I've never done that because I'm scared because I don't like you know to see it, but I have to because I know that when I have accountability, like I'll do it, but yeah, I'm not taking it too serious, which I do want to because I want to lose weight, so maybe in the next week or so I might start doing those check-ins and getting my meal plans, and yeah, so that's what's been going up with me with the gym, but I do feel amazing, I have never felt more confident. If you have never done weight training, it is something that I recommend so much. I wish I would have got into it sooner. Like, I don't know why I didn't. I think it was just the thought I would get intimidated or something, I don't know, but I also have been doing horse riding. If you follow me, you know I've been horse riding, I've been taking horse lessons, and it's been so fun. I feel like I got it down, and it's been so therapeutic, I love it so much. I have been thinking of stopping and not going. It's something that I'm not really posting about a lot just because I don't know, I felt like I needed a hobby and I love like horses, and I just thought like maybe that's something that I can get into it, but my business is growing, you guys, and there's only so much things you can do, you know. And if I want my business to grow, then it's like I'm already doing the podcast for fun, I'm already traveling, like girl, you can't have that many hobbies. It was fun, I might still do it, I don't know, but I have to get rid of something, figure out what I want to do because for me, I want to keep growing my business, and you just can't do everything at once, it's impossible. You have to give something more attention, and I feel like I had a lot of fun this last like year and a half, and I'm like, okay, I think maybe it's a new season of maybe stopping because I'm already doing a lot of stuff that's taking me away from that, you know, from the business. So I'm like, okay, I need to really consider and see if it's something that I want to keep doing. I do love it, but I don't know, I'm gonna really think about it and see. I love like how private it is, like, I don't know anyone there, and we go horse riding like on Fridays in the woods, and I just love that it's a place where there's nobody that I know, and it's just like my little getaway, so and I love it because you don't just get in the horse and she has the horse ready for you. Like, no, I show up, I have to get the horse out, brush it, clean it out. I have to clean their feet, like the the bottom of their feet, like get all the stuff out on every foot, and then prepare, you know, the thing, the saddle, I think it's called, then take it over there, get on it, walk a little bit with it. Her name is Hadi, the horse that I that I've had that I've been practicing with, and yeah, it's just been the best thing. I love it. Uh, I'll see if I keep doing it though. With my kids being in sports and gata and dance and doing the podcast, doing the gym. I have I'm growing my business, I'm growing the team. We just got a new girl on my team, and then we moved offices to a beautiful office with you know, I I I'm positioning myself with people that are better than me. Um, just because I felt like for a long time for the last few years, I've been not to sound snobby or anything, but I've been in places where I am the top agent and I'm with people that are um that I'm training, which is amazing, but I need to be with people that are better than me so that I can learn from them as well. I know I have a coach, but I feel like I would love someone, you know, locally that has done really big things, so I kind of partnered up um with someone that is better than me, and so now I feel like I'm gonna have more growth and yeah, just I'm excited for a new journey in real estate. It's already been, I think it's gonna be 10 years already that I've been in real estate, and I'm just ready for you know another level, and yeah, and to get to that level, it takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of letting go of things that you might want to do but are not good, you know, they're taking too much time. There's seasons in life where you need to pick and choose like what you want, and like I told you guys, I've already had so much fun that I'm kind of ready for that next level. I'm also going to Mexico next month with my family, so I'm really excited. I feel like I really need a little vacation. I'm gonna go visit my dad and just enjoy Mexico. I love like small town vibes, um, and the kids are excited, and yeah, that's where I'll be next month. I asked you guys on Instagram to ask me questions and things that you need advice on so that I can do a video or a podcast on it. Thank you so much if you put in your questions and advice. I do have the link on my Instagram and I'll add it down below as well. And thank you guys so much if you engage with the podcast, it means so much. Please do it because sometimes I feel like do people even care? Like I told you guys, and that will just motivate me to keep posting and keep doing the podcast because I'd be overthinking it, okay. Okay, the first one is what habits helped you stay disciplined with both fitness and business. Okay, so what habits helped me stay disciplined with both fitness and business? I think one huge one that I've told you guys is definitely getting a trainer. I think having accountability is everything. Like I started with Orange Theory where I had to, I was looking, I remember I was like, I need to find somewhere at the like a gym where if I don't go there will be consequences, right? I started at Orange Theory, which I love because if you miss, you have to pay $15. And yes, it's not a law, $15, but then you feel, and that might have gone up already because that was like a few years ago, but you're just like $15 is $15, like I have to go, you know. And with business, um, I created a schedule, it's really important. I didn't run my life on a schedule until a few years into real estate because I was young and I didn't know what the heck I was doing. But you need to live by your schedule and actually follow your schedule. Make sure, and I've said this before, I hopefully hopefully I'm not repeating the same thing on every episode, but three things that are most important that are going to move you forward in life in business. Do you know for me the main three two of the three that are most important is um gym and making phone calls for my business, those two will move me forward, just those two. The third you can choose whatever it is for you right now. For me, the third one is video. Like, I'm like, okay, every day I need to do these three things: video for my business, and then I can add um the fourth, you can add a fourth for me, like a fourth non-negotiable for me is the phone calls, the video, and the gym, and then being present with my kids. So I choose, you know, one hour for me. What works for me is before we go to bed, we all lay, like I call the kids to the bed, and I just talk to them and ask them how their day was and try to ask questions that are not repetitive every day, like, oh, how was your day? Which I do ask that, but like more questions like, Oh, what did you hate about today? Did something interesting happen today? Did anyone piss you off today? Like, ask questions. So, yeah, those are my four non-negotiables. So, choosing three things that you're gonna do no matter what, like that are important, are going to take you far in life. It's called The Frog, Eat the Frog, the book that will explain all this that I'm talking about. Next one is how to speak more professionally and use more professional words when communicating with clients and friends. Okay, so I feel like this one has this one's a good one. First of all, I feel like when someone is talking way too professional, like technical, professional, I feel like it's just too much. Like I understand if they're doctors, if they're engineers, like that's just the way they talk, right? That's just their personality. But I personally think that when someone is trying to do too much, when they're trying to talk way too professional, it's probably because they're trying to cover their bullshit. I know that sounds that sounds funny, but there's a way to be personable, be professional, but you don't need to do the most to talk with like long words that don't make sense to people, you know? Unless it's like something big, you know, but on the day-to-day things, even in real estate, it's a huge thing, it's a huge deal, right? Like purchasing and selling a home. And I think using word the proper words is important, that comes with confidence and learning your stuff, learning like you need to be when you're confident, anyone can ask you any questions about anything, and you can answer however you want to answer because you know the answers and it's going to make you confident. But if you don't know your stuff and you're just trying to sound interesting, then people cut catch on, you know, you don't need to do all that. I think being professional and also it will come with knowing your shit and being confident because you're gonna know how to respond. Um, and yeah, just understanding that people are human, talk to them normal, be perfect. I think also just removing ums, try to remove ums from your speech and also try to remove any bad words. I think it's important that. It just sounds better, you know, when you don't say any bad words, even though I just said bad words. But when you're in business or when you're with a friend and you want to just have more of a professional friend relationship where it's not very close, if it's a client or if it's you're trying to win over a client one day, um just don't say any bad words just to keep it nice and professional. Uh I do that with my clients. I do not say bad words, even though I say bad words in the podcast. You do not see me being too comfortable with them because once you cross a line, it can be crossed and then it everything will be unprofessional, you know. So I think it also depends on which friends it is and things like that. So hope that helps. Okay, so the next one is how do you keep your marriage exciting after kids? That's funny because I was asking my husband yesterday because I was looking at these questions, and we both agreed to these things. So one thing for us that helped us keep our marriage good after kids, honestly, it was a very difficult time for sure. Like sometimes we look back. I remember to like when we got out of it, my husband and I, there was a time where we were like, damn, we really went through that and like got out of it. And there was times that I felt like we weren't gonna make it, you know. That's just married life. Like, we were like, it was a lot, but some of the things that did help us was we tried our hardest to to do the same stuff and keep doing things that you were doing before you had kids. If you know what I mean, if you know you know everything, like try to do a lot of things that you were already doing before you had kids. It is gonna be more tiring, but just keeping that in mind, like, just don't stop everything that you were doing before just because you had kids. So, one I would say keep doing some of the stuff that you were doing before you had kids. The next thing is I would say do date nights. I think date nights are so so important when you have kids. Take the kids to your in-laws, to your sister, to someone that can watch them for it doesn't have to be overnight, just a few hours and go on a date. Or, you know, if you are able to do overnight, just do a little getaway, like to you know, the casino. We love going to the casino and staying at the hotel and just you know, have a really good night and have fun in the casino and stuff, or to Vegas, or we just went to New York as well. I found really cheap tickets for like $370, and we went just for like three nights, and it was so fun. I loved it. Um, but if you're not able to do that because of money, of course, it's not that cheap. Um, I remember we didn't have a lot of money. Also, what we would do is we would put the kids to bed. One, like if you don't have someone to take care of your kids, you can put your kids to bed, and then once they go to sleep, order food and have like a movie night at home, and like I don't know, take a bath, relax, or just have a movie night and eat and snuggle, and just think little things that you can find to do, but you have to do them, or else the the par with kids, it's so hard, and you have to do it even when you're tired, like push yourself to do it because you need to keep that connection with your husband because it's hard when you have kids. I think also communicating with them is so important. Like me, I'm huge on communicating. Like, if I'm feeling overwhelmed, if I go to the kitchen and the kitchen is dirty and he's home and I'm feeling overwhelmed with the amount of cleaning that I need to do, I will call them and I'll be like, Hey, I need help cleaning the table the kitchen right now. Can you come help me? Like, don't do everything alone, you know. Don't expect yourself to do everything. If you're feeling overwhelmed because you need to do all this cleaning, get, you know, be like, hey, can everyone get up and help me? Can you get up and help me clean the kitchen? Or you could even just ask for a specific task, you know? But yeah, just communicating when you're feeling overwhelmed and not letting yourself do everything because you will get depressed and overwhelmed and just stressed. And if your husband loves you, he will understand and go help you, even if he's a provider, even if anything, you know, they should still be able to help to not feel overwhelmed. The next one is what's one lesson money taught you? Oh my god, this one's a good one. Because I used to think that money was going to fix all my problems. I thought money was going to make me so happy, and honestly, it does. Like, there's so much that it fixes, and you know, the peace of mind, like I'm not saying money does not like you know, but I think what money taught me is that money and having stuff does not make you happy, you guys. Like, I know that sounds crazy, but like if I would have known the feeling of like buying my dream house, I'm happy I got to experience it, and I wouldn't change a thing still because we just you know, like I would have never known the feeling, and if if I wouldn't have done it, you siempre me iba a querer quedar with the ganas of wanting, you know, my dream house. It doesn't fulfill you, it truly doesn't. It's it it fulfills me in the way of like my kids get to grow in this beautiful neighborhood with friends that they're gonna grow up with and they have their own room and they have space, but the home itself, like the luxury of it, like I'm like, I would have been fine with you know the same house smaller where they still have you know their rooms and they still are in a good neighborhood, but I went obviously like all out because I wanted my dream house, but it doesn't money does not fulfill you, like sometimes you guys, and I don't want to get like teary-eyed or anything. Sometimes I'm depressed for no reason. Like sometimes I'm like laying down in bed and like I'm sad for no reason. Like, I'm like sometimes I'll be like, I literally have the house, an amazing marriage, beautiful, healthy kids, money in the bank, food on my table, the bills are paid, my dream car, a personal trainer. And why the hell am I still depressed? Why do I feel depressed? Why do I feel sad? It does not fulfill you. It doesn't. I'm like the full witness of it, like I am experiencing it, and I think when I feel more full, and it's something that I've been doing and enjoying my life, is doing the stuff that I love, like the horse riding, being with my kids. I've been at all like their soccer games on the weekend, I've been like making friends, I've been talking to my family a lot more, spending time with my family, um enjoying my health. Like, I think that's where the money does make you happy, where you're able to do stuff that you want to do that fills you up, but the material things do not do not buy you happiness at all. Um, so yeah, just know that no matter how much you have, no matter how much you get, it's never enough. You're always still gonna feel sad and stuff like that. Like if you were if you had traumas growing up, you're still gonna have them, you know. It's not like the material things are going to remove that. Um, but I just yeah, I just want to be honest with you guys. I do kind of want to try like therapy, but I don't know, you know, I do like reach out to God a lot, go to church, the Bible, and stuff like that, and I feel like that's what like keeps me um like gets me out of any depression and you know things like that. So yeah, and I think just knowing that once you reach whatever you want to reach, it does not mean that you're gonna be happy, you know. It doesn't. Next one is what's one hard truth women need to hear. So for me, I think one hard truth that people that women need to hear is women cannot be waiting around for a man to go save them. I think I've seen it way too many times where women are just waiting because they are saying, you know, my man, once I find my husband, he's going to provide for me, and that is the worst thing that way that you can think. I think once you're in marriage for like 10 years and you want to even five years and you want to him to provide and you not work is good, but you have to have already had not done that for a few years because I've seen it way too many times where even if you do everything right, a man can sometimes still decide, you know, that you're not the one that you you know, whatever, and then you end up. I've seen it too many times where they don't have or they mistreat them and they don't have nowhere to go, you know, they don't have money, they don't have anything for themselves, they don't even have like experience anywhere, got a certificate of some sort, got a job, you know, got a degree or something, and so then they end up having to start from zero when that man mistreats them or they end up staying because they don't know where to go. Um, and I think it's a hard truth. Like, don't be waiting for a man to go save you, build yourself up, you know, find a passion, find something that you want to do, and then at the end, if you know you've been in the relationship for a few years and you know that person, then you can decide to stay home just because yeah, I've seen it, it's too sad where woman has to start from scratch um because you know they didn't find something that they liked, and just you know, I feel like sometimes men, I know that sounds bad, but sometimes men will not want you to superarte, like be good because they you know there's toxic men out there, so just yeah, having something of your own can't say it enough. But that is it for today, you guys. Thank you so much for watching. I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. I really enjoyed it. I'm so happy that I got to record today because I just feel like I just had a therapy session with you guys. Thank you guys so much. Make sure to subscribe, to hit the like button, comment on this, please share on your stories. I want to hear from you if you made it to the end. Put if you made it to the end, put a white heart in your comment so that I know that you're a real one. But yeah, I will talk to you guys next week. Bye.