The Alchemy of Adversity and Achievement with Robert Posey

Imagine sitting down with a sales virtuoso who navigated the wild currents of Atlanta's hustle to emerge as a master of the deal. That's precisely what unfolded when I welcomed Robert Posey to the show, whose storytelling about personal transformation and the power of seizing opportunities captivated us all. From an accidental promotion to his inspiring self-education journey, Robert's narrative is a masterclass in mentorship and the boundless potential that lies within each of us.

Throughout our conversation, we traversed the ethical tightrope of persuasion in sales, unwrapped the nuanced tactics that turn conversations on their head, and debated the fine line between guidance and manipulation. Consistency, the bedrock of success, surfaced time and again, stitching together seemingly disparate domains such as podcasting and lead nurturing. The heart of our discussion lay in understanding that true business acumen stems from love, respect, and the human connection—redefining the essence of sales itself.

Our dialogue took a poignant turn as we delved into the crucible of personal adversity, reflecting on how it molds resilience and leadership. Shared stories of loss and the subsequent journey of growth underscored the ethos that life's most arduous trials are, indeed, opportunities for growth designed to shape us. As we wrapped up, principles of success, collaboration, and the profound merit of focusing on 'we' rather than 'I' brought us full circle, painting a vivid picture of a life enriched by the service of others. Join us for an episode that's not just about the mechanics of selling but about the profound interplay of life, loss, and the relentless pursuit of personal evolution.

Transcript

Ty Cobb Backer: 0:01

And we are live. Welcome back to Beyond the Tool Belt, episode 223. Today we have another special guest, my friend Robert Posey. Stay tuned, we will be back after our short intro from our sponsors TC Backer, tc Backer. Roofing, siding windows, gutters solar Roofing, siding windows, gutters, solar TC Backer, tc Backer. But I know things are happening for me today not not to me, and you know, because I I have to understand too what's what's best for me isn't always what I think. Welcome back everybody to episode 223. And we are currently at our Greenville location, south Carolina. We'll be heading over to the Bluffton location shortly, but we've been down here all week. My friend Robert came up, did some training with our team up here. We got some of our team in the building today that will probably rotate in and out of this special episode. We're making it special because we're holding the pen and we can write the script any way. We damn well feel like writing the script today and any other day of our lives. So, robert, how's it going, brother?

Robert Posey: 1:34

It's been a really really cool two days. I can say that much. It's been neat.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:39

Yeah, it has been cool and you know we all appreciate the influence, the knowledge, the inspiration. Thank you. More importantly, the technical side of you know, sales and things like that and what you can bring and offer you know bring to the table here for the last couple of days has been not just inspiring to me but educational and probably life-changing for some of those that got to sit in and witness some of your expertise and the mindset that you bring to the table has definitely been inspiring to me and I saw some light bulbs go off in the past couple of days, not just with this team, but I saw John taking notes, I saw you know Glenn and I were having all side conversations Like we need to implement this, like right away, but maybe let's talk a little bit about you know where you gain some of that knowledge, because I feel like you're probably like a self-educated person, like, like myself, I'm going to get some good stories.

Robert Posey: 2:41

Yeah, let's see Super good stories, let's see. So a famous one is the red Ferrari story. So the red Ferrari story, 16 years old, like if ever we ever meet, like I got a hand tattoo and like I don't know, I'm a little, a little rough around the edges, I can clean up, but I think I've always been that way. And at 16 years old I was standing on a curb smoking a cigarette and this red ferrari pulls up and he didn't pull up for any reason other than the fact that I was loitering next to a valet stand. So he gets out of the car and the way he walked around. He walked around the backside of the vehicle and he was bringing his keys or, excuse me, they had already taken the car, but he was walking like he was coming directly at me and I, anytime somebody is that close in proximity to me, I've always felt like, oh, this is awkward enough, I should say something. So I asked a guy hey man, what do I have to do to get a car like that? And he laughed like had a little under his breath chuckle. He wasn't making fun of me or anything, but he laughed and his response was you got to get out of here. And I was like what?

Robert Posey: 4:09

So I grew up on hilton head, south carolina, which is a retirement community 113 golf courses inside of a 13 mile radius, like there was a lot of money where I grew up. And for a guy with a lot of money to tell me I need to leave a place where there was a lot of money was like counterintuitive. So I asked him I was like what do you, what do you mean? And he's like Like everybody here is retired. They're here to hold their money long enough to die and to have enough left over to leave to their kids. And that made a lot of sense. So I asked what do I do? He said move to a big city. And then he said figure out how to get your hand in on as many transactions as possible. And then he walked off.

Robert Posey: 4:55

That was the whole conversation. It was like I got three questions and three answers. So when I turned I guess I would have been 18, maybe 19. I was 18. I moved to Atlanta, georgia, where I have family. No idea what to do. The day I arrived in Atlanta I ended up getting a front desk job $7.50 an hour at Gold's Gym. Just luck would have it two very, very influential people. One was Bob Langley, who is the president of a company called Results Through Motivation. Despite what the name sounds like, it actually was the largest franchise of fast food restaurants in the country. They have 1,500 locations.

Ty Cobb Backer: 5:40

The gym- was just a hobby of his.

Robert Posey: 5:42

He was retired. Basically he was 33 at the time. No, basically he was 33 at the time. No, he was 43 at the time and he was basically retired. So he opened a gym and the issue was I couldn't stand still behind the front desk. So I'm sitting alone at the gym middle of the day, the morning rush is gone, the evening rush hasn't come yet and I'm spinning in an office chair thinking I'm alone and I hear this whistle. This dude bob was a pretty big guy, pretty threatening, pretty like I was intimidated whistles and he's like posy, come back here. And I'm like you got me. So I go back there. And it turns out him, the, the GM and the assistant manager were in the back having a meeting and they had been in there all day. I just didn't know they were there. So they showed me footage of me spending in this office chair and he, he gave me a choice. He said I either fire you because you can't do the job I hired you or I promote you to sales and we figure out how to use your energy. And you to sales and we figure out how to use your energy. And I was like please don't fire me.

Robert Posey: 6:48

So that afternoon. He, the assistant manager, walked me through the presentation binder and bob told him the next walk-in is posies, let him sell it. Wow, I remember literally my hand shaking that first walk-in. I was like I should just let him fire me. So the presentation you got to walk around the gym and it. You know I'm supposed to ask questions. I didn't know all that. So I'm like, uh, there's the locker rooms, that's the free weights, over here's cardio, over here's group fitness, so you want to be a member, like that was the whole pitch. It was probably over in six minutes and, um, I struggled for a little while. I struggled probably for three months. We had eight locations and I was dead last for those three months.

Robert Posey: 7:45

Second mentor pops in. There's a guy named ori bingal who's a ludicrous human being. He is. He just had. He went full in on art. They just sent his art the most recent capsule that's headed to the moon. They're taking his art to the moon like he's a wild dude.

Robert Posey: 8:04

At the time he was a marketing guy, he did print media and I asked him about hey, I want to get a flyer made. He starts asking me all these questions. I'm like I don't know dude. So I started answering the best I could and where did the ideas come from and why and who it's gonna, where am I gonna put the flyer and who's going to use it? So he invites me to this seminar and he tells me don't listen to any of the marketing, pay only attention to the sales stuff. And I'm like, okay, I listened to all the marketing and none of the sales stuff.

Robert Posey: 8:39

But I was hooked so I asked him to take me under his wing. He gave me an audio book. Was hooked, so I asked him to take me under his wing. He gave me an audio book. He said listen to it three times and implement everything you learn without question. And I did. I said, done, like, I'll do that. I went from dead last out of eight locations to number one out of all eight locations inside of those 30 days. Wow. So recap random guy, ferrari went all in on his advice, moved myself to a big city I need transactions, fall into sales accidentally and realize I get a percentage of all of my transactions. I get a percentage of all of my transactions. And then somebody taught me how to use audiobooks and implementation. The key word was implementation and by implementing everything I learned I took the number one spot. That was the start of sales.

Ty Cobb Backer: 9:41

Yeah, that's crazy. So a couple of things went through my head when you were talking. This is a great story. By the way, I've listened to a lot of other people's stories and I think some of the most successful people that I'm aware of I don't personally know them, but have had the same similar story as you.

Ty Cobb Backer: 9:59

Patrick Bette Davis started out, I think, as a salesperson at Gold's Gym. Another one that came to mind was Bedros Koulian. Bedros Bedros Koulian. Now he stuck with the fitness thing. I think he's got his own line of products and stuff out. I actually take the wellness shots and maybe we'll get a sponsorship from him, since I gave him a plug, I think Andy Purcella, I think the same thing, him and his brother, but I know there I gave him a plug. I think Andy Purcella, I think the same thing, him and his brother, um, but there's, I know there's more. I can't think of their name right now. That's what's so cool about this story, like where a lot of people's journey started in in a sales position, but not just a sales position, anywhere it was. It was in fitness, right, so that that's. But I'm also curious about like, what three audio books or tapes did he tell you to listen to One audio book three times.

Robert Posey: 10:47

Oh, one audio book. He gave me one, okay, and said three times. So it was Chet Holmes, and for the life of me I can't find it, but it was. At least it was titled on the thumb drive how to Become a Sales Superstar. Okay, now Chet Holmes has the Ultimate sales machine, which is very easy to find, okay. So I recommend anyone start there. But I can't find the original one, how to become a sales superstar. So if anybody knows of it, I would love to track that back down. Yeah, damn it's huge.

Ty Cobb Backer: 11:21

What was the what was probably the three biggest things that you took away from listening to my radio book that you still implement today? Or let's start back then. What did you implement? What did you get from it? What did you implement from it back then, and is there anything that you're still implementing today, well, so relevant?

Robert Posey: 11:38

yes. So there's a few things from the book itself. There's's a couple of things, but from that time period what happened was I started chain reaction. Well, if one book can get me number one, thanks. Two books, three books, and then it ended up being a decade and still, to this day, I still read and listen to these books.

Robert Posey: 12:02

So one of the big ones, chet Holmes, was a karate champion among that business consultant. He said you never feared the guy who practiced 12, 12 punches a hundred times. You feared the guy who practiced one punch a thousand times. So lock in and do it over and over and over whatever the punch is. So that was a big times. So lock in and do it over and over and over whatever the punch is. So that was a big takeaway.

Robert Posey: 12:29

Probably the most influential book to me was how to Win Friends and Influence People and man Robert Cialdini and persuasion. And I was studying everything I could do NLP, I was in manipulation. I studied cults. I studied the human behavior, the reason that people buy things. I studied all of that sort of stuff and I would say I look at things now as time travel. I steal that directly from Matthew Danskin. Matthew Danskin talks about time travel. I stole that from him because it makes so much sense. If I can take all of this cumulative knowledge of all these other people and I can just trust the process, do the work, put the implementation in, if I take those little tidbits, it saves me a decade of error just to test it out. So I turned myself into a bit of a case study and I would try all these different things.

Robert Posey: 13:35

Um, another good point two ears, one mouth, listen twice as much as you speak. We. We hear people say this all the time in sales. But as for my observation, when I meet most salespeople, they've all heard it but they don't listen to it. So that relentless implementation. If I say two ears, one mouth, listen twice as much as you speak, I mean it Shut up, stop talking as much as you speak, I mean it Shut up, stop talking. Another good one, another great one from that time period.

Robert Posey: 14:09

If they say it, it's true. If I say it, I have to defend it. So the implication of that is, if I'm sitting here and I ask Ty or tell him hey, you know, your roof is damaged, I said it, now I have to defend it, as opposed to have you noticed that your roof is damaged. It's the same thing. But you say, yeah, you know, I did so. You said you noticed. Now you have to defend that. So if we get into some sort of an objection handling battle later, we've already discussed it. So with those two asking questions that's why my title is chief question asker, because I know if I shut up and only ask questions, I can still get you. I can get you to say the thing that I wanted to say to you, and then I don't have to defend it. Now we're having a sales conversation from the same side of the table as opposed to sitting across from each other.

Ty Cobb Backer: 15:13

Yeah, that's good, that's so good. So now I know that about you, so I know when you're trying to sell me on something.

Robert Posey: 15:19

Yeah well, I do it consistently and all the time, so we'll see Good luck.

Ty Cobb Backer: 15:25

Yeah, we'll see Good luck. No, that's great and that's the thing. It's like nobody holds your hand, or at least they led you to. You know the water and you decided to drink it and you did with it what you want to do. And I think that's probably the difference between many things.

Ty Cobb Backer: 15:40

And we were having a funny earlier about consistency, and we were having a funny earlier about consistency. And we're consistently late on the show for a reason, because that's what people came to realize that that's the time that they start. But not just that, but consistency of doing the podcast and how much of a pain in the ass it might be at times. But you trying to, you know, spin this into you know how it um, how it relates to the topic that we're talking about right now is it sounds like you, you were very consistent on your journey of, of, of, you know, self-awareness, um, but not just you, but other people and their behaviors and stuff like that. Um is because I heard, you know, heard manipulation. There's a fine line between what do they say, sales and manipulation, I guess persuasion and manipulation.

Robert Posey: 16:33

To me it's all very, very similar. It's the ethics behind it, 100% I think. If I'm doing it for service to self, then maybe I'm manipulating you. That kind of has the more negative, both similar persuasion manipulation. If I'm doing it for you, right, that's a line that you have to draw for yourself as an individual. A sales rep has to draw. Your team, your company, has to draw that line ethically, because our words are powerful, super, super, super powerful. That's where my journey got really crazy is when I had that realization.

Ty Cobb Backer: 17:11

Yeah.

Robert Posey: 17:12

But I don't want to. I'll share that, but I don't want to hijack what you were saying.

Ty Cobb Backer: 17:16

No, that's okay. That's okay Because my job here is to actually pull those things out of you should continue.

Robert Posey: 17:22

Okay, fair enough, things out of you should continue. Okay, fair enough. So I went to the seminar. There was marketers, brilliant marketers. Some of these guys I one of them did a million dollars in sales in a day and I was like baffled. I had never heard of me. I mean, I'm 18 years old. I had never heard of it. I mean, I'm 18 years old, I'd never heard of such a thing in my life. Always been entrepreneurial, never had a clue what that actually meant or what the possibility could be. So the marketers look like rock stars to me because they don't have to own the company. They get to get paid the percentage off of somebody else's business. And if I could control the lead flow, then I could control the business. And I thought that man, that's pretty powerful.

Robert Posey: 18:17

I avoided sales even though I was in sales. I started to make a shift, focusing on marketing business. I taught myself how to build websites. I did everything I could to not be a sales guy.

Robert Posey: 18:30

And then I enter another mentor, a gentleman by the name of Biller McGiles, australian guy refers to himself as the sales warlord. Giles, australian guy, refers to himself as the sales warlord. Not that he's not a brute force warlord type bro. He just uses war in his analogies, his acronyms, his metaphors. He taught me that sales was about love and about respect, and I had never heard it put that way. So at the time, sales to me was still transactional. It's me trying to beat you, we're playing a game of poker and I'm trying to make sure I have the upper hand. When he taught me that sales was about love and respect, it's loving the person across from me enough to hold them accountable for the things that they say they want or need, and having enough respect for myself and for the person that neither one of us are allowed to lie to each other. So in order for us to do that, it requires very clear expectations. It requires me to be an expert communicator, because most people aren't. And if I can lead as an expert communicator, if I can figure out the who, what, when, why, how, how much, where, all the interrogative questions, if we can check the interrogative question boxes, I think we can get to the same side of the table. So now, when we're playing poker, we're trying to beat the house, we're trying to beat the game, we're not trying to beat each other, and it changes the dynamic of the relationship. I fell in love with sales when I realized that through my voice and the ability to have clear communication I actually could create an impact, not only for a customer.

Robert Posey: 20:20

It's hard in roofing and some of the contracting businesses to create a correlation to impact. I mean sure it's. The largest investment is the home, protecting all of the assets inside the home. You know family pictures, generational trinkets, furniture, you knowme-downs and that sort of stuff. You can put it attached in an impact to protecting those sorts of things. But then it starts to become about the team. It starts to become about leverage and that's when I learned the first time I hired a sales rep and I made a percentage of someone else's money.

Robert Posey: 21:00

That's when it clicked for me Like, oh, wow, I, I really have the ability to make an impact, not just through me. But what if I put these principles into my team? Now, the impact as a professional, as a leader, I get to spread it here in my team. You know five, 10, 12, 50 people, however big your team is, if I'm guiding that team with those principles and I'm able to give them, let them download just a little bit of that love and respect and they can put it out into the community, we actually have the ability to change the world. And I don't think I was ever. I don't think I was ever the, like you know, find world peace or bring, like you know, feed, feed the, the poor, or any of that, like I sure those things are important to me. I knew I wanted to impact the world, but those ones didn't resonate too too much. But when I realized that through my voice I could have a real impact, then I started to find purpose, right, yeah, anyway, that's some of the some of the story coming out.

Ty Cobb Backer: 22:09

Yeah, no, no, and that's good. There's a lot of good things that you you touched on there. Where it wasn't going to battle with a potential client, it was more so. Ok, let we're on the same team here, and that's a great mindset to have, because I think, if you're truly there to create value and have a positive impact on somebody's life, it would be no different than how you would treat anyone else just because they need a service. You're trying to pinpoint what the problem is. Why would we want to feel like we have to hide everything when it's actually us against the machine, right? Um, so I can see how that could have switched your mindset, or or your the way that you were approaching this, and it's like you talk about all the time. The one thing that I pick up I've picked up from you is is knowing which lever, or not even knowing, but you know that there's a lever. If we can find that lever to pull, you know and and and in this instance, um, it was a mindset shift on, like, how I'm going to approach this. It's not me against them, it's a we're in this together. I'm going to respect them. This is their most valuable possession, as we're in the home service industry and share the love with them, like, hey, this is, this is what we have, this is what we can do for you. If you can't afford it, we get, whether it be offering financing, a better product that might suit their budget or things like that, and that's something. And I think that's why we resonated so quickly, because of having of that same mindset, because our purpose is to serve not just our teams but the impact that we can have as individuals. But the most powerful point that you brought up was is now that I got a team. Now I got 12, 15, 20, 25,000 people that are working, that are, that are of the same belief, because not only do I have to try to get my voice out there, but now I got 12 other people that I've trained that believe the same thing that I believe, and that's where that compounding impact comes into play, and I think that's what's cool about you know, speaking right.

Ty Cobb Backer: 24:22

I think some of the most powerful people in like presidents past, future presidents one of their strongest pieces is being able to have a speech or speaking right, and it's writing. Reading, writing and speaking obviously are important, but I don't think a lot of people understand how important being able to speak or articulate a vision to people, how powerful that is, along with writing Right. And I threw reading in there because I can't hone my skill, my crafts, right, and these are all skills. So if you're not very good at these things, you can actually get better at them because I have you know and it. But it's something that I have to do for myself. It's a skill, so I have to work on it.

Ty Cobb Backer: 25:07

So there's books that I have to read, because reading, you know, exercises the mind, it expands my vocabulary. In turn, I can speak better. The other second fold to that is is that I'll be able to write better, right. But then, most importantly, especially on this topic, is is that I can articulate a vision, a mission onto those, cast that onto those that are under our leadership. To make that bigger impact and that's the part that I really want to dial in on is because of the impact, right, like roofing, the home service industry has become our vehicle to to impact. Yes, we, we want to, you know, serve our community in the best way, shape form that we can, and sometimes that means, you know 21, turkey feeding, feeding, you know 21 turkey feeding, feeding, you know people.

Robert Posey: 26:02

Did I read that you guys broke the Guinness Book of World Records? We have, yeah, for the most turkeys cooked at a single time.

Ty Cobb Backer: 26:09

Yeah, Four years in a row. Yeah. This year, I think we'll be yeah, yeah.

Robert Posey: 26:14

I had no idea about that and you bringing that up reminded me.

Ty Cobb Backer: 26:18

Yeah, you know what I mean. But that's the impact and that's the thing. Like I, we couldn't serve that amount of people. I personally couldn't do that without a team that I've been able to cast that vision onto to help us do that. And what's cool about that is is I always talk about finding replacements right now because I'm I'm ready more so on a micro level, he's gonna fire everybody at any seconds. Yeah, yeah, like finding my replacement and and like so, like glenn has really stepped up, tam has really stepped up when it comes to the 21 turkey salute. Like they started, they created a committee. I didn't do that. They did that because they're jacked over, you know. They're like okay, we, we fed 600 people two years ago. This year we're going to feed, you know, 900 people, and now this year I'm sure we're going to be shooting for like 1200 people.

Ty Cobb Backer: 27:07

That's awesome you know, what I mean, like I once we cast. But because I was able to articulate that message, I'm like, hey, this is what we're going to do. Did you, did you and kind of manipulated them into thinking it was a good idea to do this.

Robert Posey: 27:21

Yeah Well, I mean, it is a good idea Period, are you? Are you the fact that feeding people who can't feed themselves is a bad idea? It's, that's a great idea. So having the buy-in like that's my curious question for you is like being around the TC backer team for the last couple of days. There's a lot of buy-in, especially from your core guys Like your people are bought in. I'm curious in your story, have you just always been a natural at creating that?

Ty Cobb Backer: 27:57

I think. I mean, I think people are born with natural abilities to lead. Yeah, right, and I feel like, looking back now that you say that I've always been in some type of leadership role. Sure, and the craziest thing about that is now growing up as a kid, the people that I hung out with I had my in school friends and I had my out of school friends and, and my out of school friends were always older, but it was like I was kind of like the, the leader of that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 28:26

I've always had that gift of you know, convincing you that it's a good idea, and I think I learned early on that it's never a good idea until you think it's a good idea. So I got to find that way to come at you. You know that angle, you know, and sometimes I'm saying the same thing five times, but I say it five times differently. Yeah, you know what I mean. So I I've learned at an early age how to manipulate my, my. My parents were split up, still married, still business partner.

Ty Cobb Backer: 28:53

So I think at an early age it was like that's where for me as, looking back, that somebody might've said that was probably a negative, but how I've been able to leverage that ability and hone that craft of you know, and I talk about this all the time, okay, so for those of you that don't know, I've had a pretty hard past self and self-induced, you know, my fault kind of history and and I worked so hard at that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 29:25

Okay, I've worked so hard at manipulating people to get things that I want, whether it was drinking or money or something like that, and I talk about this a lot in front of these groups. I speak a lot in front of these groups and it's like, imagine if you took half that energy that we put into staying up for five days straight and finding the next drug dealer that's awake at three o'clock in the morning and all these horrible, nasty things that I put myself through, if I took half that negative energy and applied it to something positive, imagine what I could do with that. So about I'd say about 16, 17 years ago, that light bulb went off for me was it an incident?

Ty Cobb Backer: 30:07

um, probably, but sitting in jail, um, how did I do this again? Uh, you know I and doing the foxhole prayers. You know god, if you get me out of this jackpot, you know I'll never do it again, you kind of thing like that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 30:22

But I had a lot of supportive people. There was people that saw the good in me where I couldn't see the good in me. It's kind of giving me goosebumps right now. So I had some support, even though I should have been wrote off, but they were still like my sister, would you know, come by and give me some pep talks. And and, of course, my mom. She was my, my biggest cheerleader, she, she enabled me so much. Literally it almost killed me, so she almost loved me to death, my mom and and so when she had passed away uh, I think that was, I think this year, february was nine years that's really when the light that there was like a second light bulb, like the 2.0 version of myself, really, really kicked in. Yeah, you know what I mean. For me it was like a second light bulb, like the 2.0 version of myself, really, really kicked in. You know what I mean.

Ty Cobb Backer: 31:01

For me it was like, okay, I have really big shoes to fill and my mom impacted so many people at so many levels in her local community over in Williamsburg, pennsylvania, franklin County, right outside Hagerstown, maryland. She had impacted and influenced and taken care of so many different people, like whether it was creating the dare program at my elementary school. She was the neighborhood block watch mom. She um, ran the santa's breakfasts, the summer jubilees, um, they even wild. Yeah, I mean she and I don't know all of that, all that and worked full time and took care of you and took care of me, which is definitely, and I got an older brother and sister and my dad, mind you. So she, she had her hands full, yeah, with us, um, and I forget why, where I was going with it and, yeah, I had big shoes, leadership.

Ty Cobb Backer: 31:52

So that's how I grieved over my mom was that I let it manifest in a positive way in my life. I could could have went one, I could have took it the other way and fell back into the bottle and use that as an excuse of why I'm a piece of crap today. Well, if your mom died you know, we hear that all the time People have the luxury of excuses. Right, we all have those luxuries. But I allowed it to manifest in a way where it was like, okay, I need to, now it's my turn to grab this torch. She passed the torch to me and how can I let her legacy live on? What better way?

Ty Cobb Backer: 32:26

So we kind of went like a group of us, jana included, went on a mission because six months later to the day, jana's mom passed away, so both our moms died within six month period of time. So then that kicked it even more into high gear. You know, of course there was, there was some grieving that took place, and I wouldn't suggest grieving the way that I did at that time to anybody. But of course, because of my past, my pain, my threshold for pain is much greater than most people, which is unfortunately an unfair advantage. I always look at it like an unfair advantage over most people, especially in a leadership position or entrepreneurial or especially multiple businesses, right, Judging.

Robert Posey: 33:10

What does that mean? Like we're talking about the unfair advantage, yeah, does that mean you just don't have quit in you, or how does that manifest?

Ty Cobb Backer: 33:19

Yeah, mean you just don't have quit in you, or how does that manifest? Yeah, so, so it had it had manifested in in many couple ways, in a couple different levels. Right, so my pain and grieving over death was basically I ignored it and dove into work and other people, yeah, so I didn't have to think about it and that's why I said I wouldn't necessarily recommend that, because there are times that situations may happen that that my emotions are probably a little more magnified than it should have been Due to that circumstance. I think it's still leaked out and I don't know if people understand that about themselves. Right, like, if you don't deal with something, it could have been 10 years ago that I didn't deal with my mom's death, okay, so if somebody else dies, that really wasn't that close to me and I'm just a blubbering mess, that's me, because I didn't deal with that then that's my body, my mind, my soul, the fiber of my being, and that that's that's how it's dealing with that. Because I didn't have that moment back then. I didn't allow myself. I stayed focused, if anything I was. I was entirely too focused.

Ty Cobb Backer: 34:28

Like, I went to work when the hearse came to our house and my mom passed. She had lived with us. That's how Jana and my mom became best friends. Um, my mom lived with us, uh, for four years, dying um in our home and then she passed away in her house. The day that the hearse came was her. Thank God it was her best friend. Um, he came, picked her up. I went straight to work. I left the house.

Ty Cobb Backer: 34:50

I told everybody to get out of my house enough being friendly, cause there was people there that I didn't really care for but didn't really care for, but I was being um patient, yeah, yeah, you know, as patient as I possibly could be, because I, I understand people don't feel things the way that I do, and I have to, I have to be sensitive to that right, um, which I. I struggle with that sometimes, but I do try to put myself in their shoes because people don't feel and again, I'm talking about that, that threshold for pain, right, because there's no pain that greater than the pains that I've put myself through. And I'm telling you, I put myself in some really bad situations, um, and a lot of other people too, along the way. There was a lot of a lot of wreckage there, um, but anyhow, I got laser dialed in on about nine years ago. That's when I started to read a lot, read a lot more. I wanted. I felt like there was a lot of time. I needed to catch up or two At that time.

Ty Cobb Backer: 35:48

I think I had had three, four or five years sober at that time and really was dialed in on just that. You know what? What? How can I not pick up a drink one day at a time? How can I not pick up a drink one day at a time, which was a lot of self-improvement, and I learned a lot and still do on a daily basis. And I still live that way, one day at a time, like I don't keep one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow and piss all over today. We have today. What are we going to do today? Just like a little situation came up earlier today, you're being a great steward of your moment, yeah, you know. Yeah, you know what I mean. Stay in right now. What can we? What can we do, even if something's going on right now like okay, what are we? How we're?

Robert Posey: 36:27

going to deal with this and in those moments, especially with adversity, right or?

Ty Cobb Backer: 36:28

little. We have adversity speed bumps. You know, I call them speed bumps, I don't call them roadblocks, I don't call them. I call them speed bumps because when you get over that thing, even today I'll even be a smart ass.

Ty Cobb Backer: 36:37

When I go over a speed bump, I smash the gas because I want to get over that thing. And I use it metaphorically, like everybody in the car, like you may have heard me say this before. You know it's going to be rough. Hold on for a second. But you know, the longer I procrastinate to get over that speed bump, the longer it's going to take for me to get over that speed bump. Right, so just mash the gas and get through it. It's going to be bumpy, but what happens is it catapults you, yeah, it shoots you bam. That's where that, that, that that, uh. What do they call that? Not that a deflex, but or?

Robert Posey: 37:14

whatever ricochet, yeah, ricochet, that's, that's where that ricochet bounce back.

Ty Cobb Backer: 37:19

Yeah, that's where that boom and it's like we got over it. We're done, we're good. Yeah, let's move on to the next.

Robert Posey: 37:24

Yeah, you know yeah, there's so many things that you're saying right now that, like that, resonate in a super, super big way, one foot in front of the other. For me has always been a thing like I've literally had internal discussions, uh, where I'm trying to figure out like, am I broken? Like it used to be stressful. Stressful. Things weren't stressful, I realized, because my mom was also an enabler and love her to death. I hope she gets to see this. Um, but and she knows, she knows she was I had to cut her off. I literally had to tell my mom hey, we're done here, like you will, let me be homeless before you ever helped me again. And we had that discussion. But I think because she helped me so much, she allowed much. She allowed me some space. There was some good that came from it. She allowed me some space to deal with stuff that was hard and where I almost was trained not to feel stress. I think I don't know.

Robert Posey: 38:36

I've studied a bunch of psychology but the hardest person to analyze has always been me. I've studied a bunch of psychology but the hardest person to analyze has always been me. But because of that, when things get hard, there's never, ever, ever been a like. I guess we should think about shutting the company down. I guess we're not going to hit the goal. It's never been a thought. The goal always stays the same.

Robert Posey: 38:58

If I decide we're going after it, we're going to go after it, and if there is a speed bump, well, there's a saying. It's one of my favorite quotes how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time? Yeah, so if I've got a big, burly elephant, you know a bee hag, a big, hairy, audacious, goal that elephant. How am I gonna eat it? One bite at a time, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Be the best steward of your moment, nick.

Robert Posey: 39:28

Nick peterson is a a more recent mentor uh uh of mine. Sorry, nick lucas. Nick lucas is a more recent member mentor of mine. Nick taught me to be a steward of my moment, because the past is gone, the future hasn't happened. The only thing that matters is literally what's in front of my eyes and ears right this second. So what does it do for me to think about bankruptcy or quitting, or you know, ms Jones, window wasn't delivered on time, or whatever it may be, it doesn't matter. How can I be a steward to Ms Jones right now. Well, ms Jones didn't get her window on time. I guess what we need to do Is we need to talk to Miss Jones. Let's go talk to Miss Jones. That's the moment, so Alright. So when you're leading these goals, you're a natural leader.

Ty Cobb Backer: 40:33

And I like to think so. I don't want to consider myself a self-proclaimed Leader here.

Robert Posey: 40:39

You seem like a natural, but I also know you've got 16 years leading your teams here and then, ever, how many years prior to that, leading other teams. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 40:52

So I do believe that people were born with, with certain qualities, but there's many qualities that that you need to work on to become a leader, and I think empathy, understanding, and you and you've been saying it a lot like seek to be, seek to understand rather than to be understood yeah, I think that's huge. I think before and I've been guilty of jumping, you know, to reactions and handling situations very poorly, but again that I look at that too as as experience. Right, how I made that individual feel, how did it make me feel after I responded? You're super good though.

Robert Posey: 41:29

So today, the flyers we got these flyers back super flimsy. They like knock up. We're not using these. Yeah, and and your reaction was okay, what do we do? Yeah, next, yeah, solve the problem. Yeah, move on. But you didn't make anybody feel bad about it. You didn't dwell on it, not even for a split second. No, I've noticed you do that a couple of times since we've been here. Yeah, that's an admirable trait.

Ty Cobb Backer: 41:58

Yeah, well. Well, one of the things that I had to learn it's easy to to lead during good times. That's, that's a piece. Yeah, yeah, that's a cakewalk. Okay, when the shit's really hitting the fan, yeah, that's, that's where true leadership should shine. You, you have a decision to make. Do I show my ass and my weaknesses, or or do I remain calm, right, and try to to handle the situation to the best of my ability? Sure, right, and again, through experience. There's the Ricky Bobby story that we don't need to talk about, but because I've talked about it to any of those, any of you listening out there that have heard the Ricky Bobby story.

Robert Posey: 42:39

Well, I guess I won't ask what the Ricky Bobby story is.

Ty Cobb Backer: 42:41

I mean, I, I, could tell you what the you don't have to again show bullet point.

Ty Cobb Backer: 42:46

Bullet point was is I? I handled the situation very poorly. Okay to be due to ego a little bit and a little bit of control. There was a gas cap missing on a vehicle and I saw it every morning and, um, you know, I had made a couple comments like, hey, why don't you just stop if you can't afford a gas cap? It advanced auto zone because I felt like they should replace it.

Ty Cobb Backer: 43:08

Okay, yeah, red, red flag, number one, right there, you know what I mean. A little little control there. Like you lost it, you, you replace it right, right, sure, accidents happen. Just, you know, here's 10 bucks. Yeah, scarcity mindset too Could have handled it that way. Then Go to the gas station, go to the counter. I'm sure they got a box of gas caps back there. Think outside the box a little bit, you know what I mean. They just act like you lost your gas cap there, or hey, do you have a Ford gas cap back, whatever? They just act like you lost your gas cap there, or hey, do you have a ford gas cap back, whatever? Yeah, um, but I didn't, didn't handle it, chose not to. About a week went by, we got a real bad brainstorm and uh, it's a big box truck with a gutter on up top of it. You know, whether you know or not, vehicles have gutters.

Ty Cobb Backer: 43:55

That channels that water and it away and hold it directly into the gas right into the tank and, mind you, we just spent probably $15,000 on a new engine for this box truck. And I heard Ricky Bobby we're using fictitious names to protect the innocent here I picked up on that. And I heard him run in his mouth about how the truck was a piece of shit. Oh, it's a piece of shit. Blah, blah, blah, blah. So, being the very excitable person that I am, my passion tends to my passion shows the shot.

Robert Posey: 44:34

That's that vocabulary. You were, yeah, very excitable person.

Ty Cobb Backer: 44:37

Yeah, go on very excitable person go on. So my passion veered its ugly head, and he must have saw it in my face because he started to run. So I ran after and you were excited. Yeah, I was very, very excited. Ok, my passion was, was, was gleaming, and to the so much that he must have thought. So he went running and he jumped in the truck, locked the doors and I'm trying to rip the door off the side of this truck and and I hear Kim screaming, bob, bob, bob, he's going to kill Ricky Bobby. And, mind you, this was in the morning, so everyone's there watching me show my ass. Yeah, okay, well, oh my. So Bob comes, calms me down.

Robert Posey: 45:38

There's some rumblings of how I reacted from some of my co-leader my co-leadership and this is with tc backer.

Ty Cobb Backer: 45:40

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, so of course I go back in the office. I'm like dude, that really sucked, because the difference between even several years ago, I knew right away when I said something wrong, you know, for years prior to that you, I I felt like I enjoyed hating people. Yeah, okay, I felt like I. It gave me a dopamine hit because I will hate you better than anyone will ever hate you. Like I felt like it gave me some kind of control, right, and it meant something when I hated you and that meant whatever that meant in my twisted mind back then. Okay, so I worked on that and again, that's things I'm self-aware of. Like I don't like how this make me feel. I don't like how I just made you feel you know, kind of thing yeah and so I've worked on that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 46:27

Now does it be or it's ugly and it's been a minute, but this, this was one of those moments where they were falling fewer and faller further and you know apart, so it really gave me like a really bad emotional hangover and I hate apologizing, and that's another thing too.

Ty Cobb Backer: 46:45

It's like I I don't put myself, try not to put myself in those situations where I have to own amends Right, and because I don't live the lifestyle that I live today, to feel awkward around people Like I didn't. I didn't get as healthy you know work on trying to be as healthy as I am today to to feel uncomfortable around people. And if I, if there's an instance or a situation where I have a choice today not to be around people, that I choose not to be around today and I used to think that I had to yeah, that's something else that probably a whole nother topic there, but anyhow, right away I knew it now, that instance that was probably a seven minute show for everybody that that had this that I had displayed. You were not the best steward of your moment. No, I was not went in, sat down, um, some of my co-leadership must have been saying things and that's a separate issue there that I had to deal with um but, anyhow, um.

Ty Cobb Backer: 47:44

So a couple of them actually confronted, came into my office and was like hey, you know you handled yourself pretty poorly today, but that's the type of environment that that we've created. So they can, you know, hold me. I was like poorly today, but that's the type of environment that we've created. So they can, you know, hold me. I was like I know I got to call Ricky, bobby and, uh, but can someone get a gas cap for that truck before I do? Anyhow, long story short, because of experience and handling myself in a very poor way and displaying a horrible human being, let alone trying to lead people right, that's not the atmosphere that that I'm trying to create. That's not the atmosphere that I want to be around. Today I choose not to, um, but because of those things and me being self-aware of of what my words set, the impact that it has on other people, that was another one of those moments of you know you, we all heard it. You know words can cut worse than a knife yeah, I've heard them as bullets as well.

Robert Posey: 48:43

Yeah, once they fire out of that gun, you can't take it back.

Ty Cobb Backer: 48:47

No way, no it's done, it's done, there's consequences now a A hundred percent, and it's few people that you can actually make an amends to that will sincerely forgive you and get over that it takes a lot of trust.

Robert Posey: 49:01

Yeah, it takes a ton of trust. When you're in leadership, you know I'll put my career, my life, into your hands and then, for that to happen, there is no going back, there's zero going back. So while you were doing that, I was thinking of another quote that I don't remember where I learned this one from but change is only possible on the precipice of destruction. Change is only possible on the precipice of destruction. So here's a question for you if you hadn't have been empathetic and inwardly empathetic, yeah, if you hadn't have had a team that was willing to confront you and I would dare even say, the courage for you to actually change, where do you think?

Ty Cobb Backer: 49:46

you'd be today if I wouldn't wouldn't have made those changes. We would not be sitting here right now. Yeah, there's no way. I would probably be locked up if that paradigm shift along the way wouldn't have happened, If I wouldn't have put myself through those situations to become who I am today. Like that path, that journey and we're all on a journey there's, you know, it's, there's no, there's no finish line.

Robert Posey: 50:10

Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 50:11

You know what I mean. There's no, there's no finish line here. There's no graduation date to how much I can improve, how much I can. There's still so much to learn. With having that mindset and and continuously becoming self-aware of how my words impact and affect other people, I think that played a huge role in how we got here. Yeah, where we're at today is is is due to a lot of self-inflicted pain. Right, you know, most of the pain that I that I experienced, anybody experiences on it, whether you know that or not. 90% of it is self-inflicted pain due to a bad decision I made. So here's the question.

Robert Posey: 50:51

Yeah, would you. How do you look at it now? Like, are you like hell, no, I will never do that again. Or are you more like thank God that that happened to me then?

Ty Cobb Backer: 51:05

I'm not going to say that it won't happen.

Robert Posey: 51:08

But I'm saying are you, are you grateful, are you a this happened for me or this happened to me?

Ty Cobb Backer: 51:15

No, I'm definitely a happened for me kind of person. Yeah, that happened for me, there's no doubt about it. I needed every single episode, I needed every single success, every single failure to be who I am today, and knowing and being self-aware enough to know that this again, going back to you, this is just a journey, right, like, like we're. There's no, there's no finish date, there's no graduation date. That you know I need to continuously, you know, because what got us here won't, won't get us where we want to go.

Robert Posey: 51:47

It got us here, yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 51:48

You know what I mean. I have to somehow learn how to think much bigger. You know, and I think also humility plays a huge part in this, and being humble enough, smart enough to know that that I need to surround myself around smarter people than me. You know what I mean, or even just know that I can't do it all myself. You know, and I always I'm my own worst critic saying you know people smarter than me? Yeah, and there are certain areas of you know that I'm not so inclined in or whatever like that I could be. But what would that mean to other things that I should be more focused on too? Yeah, I can create a website. It might take me three months to get it where I want it, but just hire a website design company that can do it in three hours. Three days, three weeks sure you know what I mean. To get it where it's wisdom, that's wisdom. Yeah, right, you know I'm a little wiser today than I was, you know, and I grew up fast too. What is that quote?

Robert Posey: 52:46

you keep saying, you keep saying something about not getting to the end. There's's no finish line. You've brought that up a couple of times. So how do you look at it? How do you look at the process? So today you've got the speed bumps, when things get really, really hard. Is the speed bump your go-to quote, or what's the thing? What's the principle you live by?

Ty Cobb Backer: 53:12

that's like one foot in front of the other. You know that's a great question, because I always look at there's two things and you said it, I live by. This is happening for me. What good is going to come out of this right now? Okay, I learned that from Ed Milet, who actually probably didn't learn it from him, but he galvanized that for me. Sure, you know.

Ty Cobb Backer: 53:34

And then that you know I don't look at things as a roadblock and going, looking back over my track record, okay, everything happened for me for a purpose. I may not have saw it then and I know that today. Yeah, I know what we're going through right now. I may not see why yet. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Okay, they will always materialize if we work for them. But that's kind of a different. That's another quote that I live by is sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. It will always materialize if we work for them. And keyword we. But I know things are happening for me today, not to me, and you know, because I have to understand too, what's best for me isn't always what I think it should be. Is it because I want it? Is it really a want or is it a need? Is this something that we need? And with being a collaborative thinker, right, I don't think selfishly, yeah, okay, I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

Ty Cobb Backer: 54:32

Sometimes it can be a catch-22 at times, okay because I'm always like I'd say, more often than not what can I bring? What can I bring? Not necessarily like what am I getting out of this? What am I getting out of this, what, what, what standards? Are not even you've got you've got a line in the sand right?

Robert Posey: 54:48

of course I do, I yeah yeah, like the deal has to serve both parties to some extent.

Ty Cobb Backer: 54:55

Yeah, well, you know where I was just reminded of this was there. There's we. We were recently in a business transaction and I'm talking to my attorney and you know, and I'm I'm telling her all these things we're bringing to the table of you know this with this other business, and she's like well, what are what? What are they supposed to be doing? Like you know, isn't it? Like you're, you're purchasing this business? Sounds like a good attorney, yeah, and she reminded me and she's like well, wait, wait a minute, like this, like you're doing this to make money.

Ty Cobb Backer: 55:24

Right, it's like yes, yes, thank you for reminding me.

Robert Posey: 55:31

I'm looking at the to be passionate about the people in a relationship and to lose sight of that because you're still human and buying a business, it becomes a human endeavor where I believe businesses and people are separate in the sense that businesses don't have problems, people have problems a business is an, but it's ran by people and therefore has problems.

Robert Posey: 55:56

I think that, likewise, businesses are phenomenal and one of my favorite things about them is that there are people in them. But it does humanize decision making and sometimes you have to. If you do think that way, if you think about other people a lot, sometimes you have to put the business cap back on and be like, yeah, how does this work? Does this actually benefit me? Does it actually benefit them?

Ty Cobb Backer: 56:25

that benefit my legacy, my kids, my wife, you know whatever yeah yeah yeah, so it went from one extreme to the other because I worked so hard on it. To not make this about me.

Robert Posey: 56:38

Yeah, but you, you, it's. It's evident that you care about the team, just being here with the team and seeing the energy, with you being here, being present, like the man these people are rallying right now. What we say, Mo is in the building, Got that momentum.

Ty Cobb Backer: 57:00

Yeah, that's right, that's right. Yeah, I love Mo.

Robert Posey: 57:04

I don't think you could do that, though, if you weren't looking at what's in the best interest of these other people.

Ty Cobb Backer: 57:11

Yeah, and so that's the silver bullet Everyone's looking for the silver bullet of these other people? Yeah, and when you? And so that's the silver bullet everyone's looking for the silver bullet of, for success in life. Yeah, and success isn't necessarily monetary, monetary monetary monetary money success? Yeah, right it that that comes with doing the next right thing, right? Success comes from watching other people succeed.

Robert Posey: 57:34

For me, sure well, and and some of that is kind of like who's the guy? Was it john maxwell or jim rohn or one of the old school greats that if you want to be a billionaire, figure out how to make other people millionaires. Yeah, right, there's that. And, and one of my favorites is a great speech called Acres of Diamonds by Russell Conwell. It's like super old, 100 year old speech he gave at a university and a quote inside of that is that money is a measure of exchange value.

Robert Posey: 58:08

So when you've tied that quote back to how to win friends and influence people, making other people feel important using their first name, that little bitty, bits of value that you're able to spread across your team, like it was kind of funny. We messed up one of the team members names a couple of times and we had a couple of jobs. But I was thinking to myself in that moment, back to that book, how valuable does he feel when we mess up his name two, three times in a row? He can't possibly feel like he's the most important person in the room. And, um, yeah, I think that I guess where I'm trying to tie this to is monetary, that that little bit of selfish that you're allowed to have. I think you can have that by being outwardly valuable to other people.

Ty Cobb Backer: 59:07

You do get to scratch that itch, yeah, well, and this is how I sum that up you know, serving others, it can. It can be tiring, okay, um, pastor Joel, labeled is is something like uh, and firing is tiring Great.

Robert Posey: 59:23

He's one of those like super wordsmith he got yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 59:26

Firing is tiring, yeah, and and um. So. And this is where the selfish part comes in. Okay, you have. You have to be selfish to a certain extent. If I'm not actually taking care of myself, Okay Right. And if I pretend that I'm running around taking care of everybody else but my health is failing, I'm overweight, I'm not exercising, I'm not eating, right, I'm not sleeping, now I just become a martyr, right, yeah, like if I didn't have to take care of you all the time, I'd be able to take care of myself.

Ty Cobb Backer: 59:59

You know you're a martyr, okay, so there's really no excuse for not taking care of yourself.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:00:04

That's where the selfish part comes into play, right, I got to make sure that I'm doing things to improve the quality of my life too and sometimes that takes money right and improving the quality of Jana's life, rocket's life, mackenzie's life, jacob's life, so on and so forth All the grandbabies, joel, quinn, skylar, right, like I'm here to improve the quality of their lives, my immediate family's lives too.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:00:31

Whether it's hey, we put a pool in, why my justification was, is because when I come home and I see the grandchildren playing, splashing with rocket and he's picking them up and cannonball and and all that stuff, that in itself, yeah, we're not even talking about me getting in the pool yet. But where my satisfaction for success says for success and wealth, yeah, that just made me the wealthiest man in the world, which in turn, right Improve the quality of my life. You know, because of those things that that money right, the, the tip, the reward by not being selfish in times where it's probably very easy to be selfish, I've been rewarded tenfold, because through serving others, that's our purpose, anything outside of that is selfishness, right.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:01:21

Like that's. The silver bullet to success is serving others and not to sound cliche, but like that's, that's whether it's the way that you're marketing, the way that you're conducting your business, the way that that you're, you're fathering your children and stuff. That's where success lies is by serving all of those people.

Robert Posey: 1:01:39

You know it's interesting. So I'm working with a sales team and I was having a discussion. So we're running some Facebook ads and they go into messenger chat and then the sales team picks up after the excuse me, after the messenger bot asked a couple of qualifying questions and one of my sales guys was responding to the messages by saying um, I would love to get you information about company and I guess I can share so about limitless. So I would love, I would love to get you information about limitless. And I had coached in the week before that. He stopped talking about you, so then his message he sent back to me asking for feedback, was I would love to help you give the information. Well, I asked him what's the first word in your sentence? It's I. I want to get you information, I want to get you information.

Robert Posey: 1:02:47

Now, as a sales professional, his job is to make money, his job is to find members, it's to grow revenue, all of those things, things. So he needs to be a little bit selfish, but he's serving himself still, which is a everything we're talking about. As people, our ego gets involved and we're, for sure, naturally dispositioned towards selfishness. There's a handful, a handful of traumas and different experiences. You can have somebody lean, I believe, one way or the other, but you're still going to have some of that inside of there and I think you need to walk a fine line. That balance is good self-respect. But the coaching I gave to him was what if, instead, you said is there anything you'd like to know about Limitless? Are there any questions you have that I can answer for you? So I put you first, and if people could just make sure that you comes first, you comes first. Think that the world would be a better place.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:03:55

For sure, For sure. That's funny. You say that because very rarely and Vic and I have talked about this before very rarely will I put I mine. Yeah, In any sense.

Robert Posey: 1:04:08

Do you ever like start typing and you see it? Yeah, I always put it backwards and then you delete it.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:04:14

Very rarely, unless it's by mistake, because this was something I had to work on was our team? Yeah, very rarely will you catch me saying my team Because it is our team. Yeah, our crew, Right.

Robert Posey: 1:04:28

Can we help you? I see myself in emails. I do the same thing. Yeah, I've got a couple bullet points. Help you. I see myself in emails. I do the same thing. I've got a couple bullet points. I would like to make an introduction. The reason is I saw this taking place in the meetings this week and then I'll back up. I'm like shit, I'll give myself an eye, I'll let myself have an eye, but there's got to be a we an hour. It has to be. I'm glad I'm not the only one that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:04:51

But there's gotta be a we an hour. Absolutely, Absolutely, it has to be.

Robert Posey: 1:04:52

Yeah, that's great. It would be like I'm bad, I'm not the only one that that, that like little voice is like, yeah, that empathy.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:04:58

I guess yeah, well, that's how. That's one little way that you can stop being so selfish too. Right, whatever that might be, you're never by yourself, first and foremost. Yeah, okay, and that's that's how I feel, whether it's a little mouse in my pocket or the man upstairs. Okay, you, you are never right.

Robert Posey: 1:05:19

It's never you that did this but arnold schwarzenegger said that too right, that there's no such thing as a self-made millionaire. Was that, arnold?

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:05:27

I think quite a few people have said that yeah, there's never. Yes, I don't believe in that, you know, unless you scratched off a winning ticket, um, even then even still, it was all the taxpayers something. Yeah, it's like you got really smart enough to go and buy the ticket, you know. But no, it takes even raising children. It takes a village.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:05:49

You know, you know, you know I. However you want to spin this, I mean no, I this. This has never been a night thing. This has always been a wee thing. Even when I was in that jail cell, I was still provided for it, and that's that's the that's. The metaphor of the story is is that I've never been alone. I always had something over my head. I've always had food in my belly, even though it may have been an exuberant amount of time where I didn't have something in my belly, but but somehow, some way, I was always. I was carried. Yeah, in those real hard and dark times of my life, I was carried. I was looking back. It's like I've always have been provided for in some way. Shape and going back to it may not have been what I thought I needed, right, but then I think I just used the word I twice in that short little sentence do better, yeah, do better. But that was my point. My point was is that's the way that I thought about it, what I thought I I needed? But it's intentional.

Robert Posey: 1:06:52

I think so. Grace. Acceptance is a giant, giant word for me. Same thing Shout out to Nick Lucas, my performance consciousness coach Acceptance I thought I had to forgive myself for a lot of things, and I guess there's a difference between acceptance and forgiveness. Acceptance is I just accept that I am. So if I say the word I, I'm not like you're such a piece of work. You know it's oops, do better next time. No doubt. Or because you didn't do great, correct it, apologize. So take the action. But if you can't and if you find yourself in behaviors that you don't align with, and if you are being selfish, you will find yourself in behaviors that you eventually, if it hasn't caught up with you yet, it will, and then you start to find yourself into an emotional frequency of guilt and shame and you're not doing things to serve other people. It's way easier to find yourself in that guilt and that shame.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:08:05

Yeah, my mind's going super deep right now? Yeah, no doubt, and I feel like we could talk about this for another 50 minutes, but we are an hour and 10 minutes in. Why don't you leave our viewers and listeners with one golden nugget? Oh, my god have we not already One last silver bullet here?

Robert Posey: 1:08:28

So, because my mind is in this frame right now, I want to define guilt and define shame. So by having the definition, I believe it creates clarity and with that clarity and with that awareness, you're then able to formulate an action plan. And because I personally have dealt with guilt and shame, and by God, when you face them head on, there's an immediate and significant release. And I think knowing the definitions would be super helpful.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:09:03

So if you've never heard this, before.

Robert Posey: 1:09:04

Guilt is I did something bad, Shame is I'm a bad person. In both situations there's a literal emotional frequency where the brain operates. There's a wave pattern where these emotions can be measured. If you've ever had a relationship where you were in love and then you start to grow apart and you start to feel disconnected, it's literally a contracted or a a wave pattern that does not vibe. We don't vibe anymore. There's a vibrational frequency that no longer uh will allow you to be connected with that person. We could go so deep into this. Uh-huh, I'm gonna keep going for a second good. So I don't remember the laws or the terms, but if two equal wave patterns reach in and touch each other, they will magnify by a factor of two, but if two opposing wave factors match each other, it will cut them in half. That's contracted emotional frequency.

Robert Posey: 1:10:12

Guilt and shame are at the very bottom of these frequencies that have been literally measured by scientists. If you have anything that you're making decisions for that don't align with your future purpose, your goals or the things that you're saying outwardly, you'll find yourself in one of these two frequencies. So I would encourage you here's your gold nugget go to Google and look up the emotional frequency chart and I would suggest look at the next emotional frequencies above guilt and shame and then ask yourself what does it take for me to feel that emotion? Because there is a way I promise there's a way for you to move to the next one Anger, pride, right. Then it goes into happiness, joy, love, enlightenment and those sorts of things. I love that. Maybe that's another episode, some other time.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:11:07

Yeah, no but that was definitely a great way to end the episode. I see there's a lot of comments in there. People are loving what we did here. Unfortunately, zach and Heath I think we were going to try to sneak them on here, but I think they would understand why they didn't get to come on, because we were vibing very well for an hour and 10 minutes. We were vibing very well for an hour and 10 minutes. So, having said all that, man, we appreciate you guys for sticking around for an hour and 13 minutes. I see David Berner still in there, I see Mike Ippi, and the list goes on. Big shout out to you guys. Don't forget to like love, subscribe, leave a review on YouTube for us, share this with your friends, leave something in the comments, a topic that you guys may want us to talk about at later episodes. Until then, be safe and we love y'all. We will see you next week for episode 224, behind the Tool Belt. Thank you guys for having me. You're welcome. Thank you for coming on.