Harnessing the Storm: Tiana Pilimai's Resilient Legacy in Event Mastery & the Quest for Personal Fortitude

As the skies unleashed their fury with a hailstorm at our latest "Win the Storm" event, Tiana Pilimai, the mastermind behind the scenes, stood resilient—a testament to the event's name. I sat with Tiana, peeling back the layers of her transition into the roofing industry, and what it takes to create an event that withstands the literal and figurative storms. She shares the thrill of overcoming unexpected challenges with poise and her preference to shine away from the limelight while being an operational linchpin. We also reminisce on those priceless encounters that remind us why we brave the tempests of life and business—to forge unbreakable bonds and find strength we never knew we had.

Meeting Tim Grover at the event, the coach famed for honing the prowess of legends like Michael Jordan, left me with revelations that stretched far beyond the court. Grover's embrace of genuine connections and the philosophy of "Relentless" resonated on a profound level, stirring me to introduce his influential teachings into my own journey. Speaking of personal odysseys, I unveil the transformative power of the 75 Hard challenge and how it sculpted my mental and physical fortitude amidst the chaos of COVID-19 and personal loss. It's a tale of flipping the script on despair and embracing the discipline required to emerge as the architect of one's destiny.

Our narrative wouldn't be complete without a reflection on the echoes of our actions and the profound impact they have on our soul's landscape. Through heartfelt stories, I underscore the importance of recognizing our inherent value and the weight of positive affirmations in shaping our life's trajectory. The lesson here is simple yet potent: Our worth is not tied to our wealth. As I share advice to our younger selves and the transformative effect of embracing our own stories, it's clear that our most significant measure of success is the legacy of resilience, love, and impact we leave behind. Join us on this journey of discovery, where every hardship is a stepping stone to a more meaningful existence.

Transcript

Ty Cobb Backer: 0:02

and we are live once again. Welcome back everybody to episode 226, I believe, or is it 226? Uh? To this amazing wednesday afternoon. Thank you guys for for joining us on your lunch break or wherever you may be in the world today. Give us a few seconds, stay tuned, and we will be back after our short intro from our sponsors. Hey, hey, hey, and we are back for episode 226, and I have another wonderful guest with us this awesome rainy afternoon here. We can't catch a break with the rain. Here it seems like April showers bring May flowers. Can't catch a break with the rain. Here it seems like April showers bring May flowers my friend, Tiana Pilimai. I hope I said that somewhat correctly. I didn't want to embarrass you or myself, but Tiana got our first introduction, was at Wind, the Storm, she was the boss lady. If I had any issues or problems or concerns, she came to our rescue every waking moment of the day and throughout the course of the week when we were there. So, tiana, my friend, how are you and how have things been going?

Tiana Pilimai: 1:33

I am doing so good, since when the storm, things have been pretty busy. We are jumping right into planning the next year and there's a lot of things that go on behind the scenes for planning for the next event, so we just hit the ground running already.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:50

Yeah, I can't even imagine that was going to be. One of my questions for you was is like okay, since you won the storm, as, as you guys would put it, at when the storm, like what's next, what's on the horizon? Like for you personally and for when the storm, are you staying with when the storm and, and if so, like what does that look like? If you can divulge any of that information to us, so I'm absolutely staying with.

Tiana Pilimai: 2:11

when the storm um, I am hired onto the team and so I can say this is been such an amazing team to work with and I'm new to the roofing industry and I absolutely love it. I love the people that I have had the opportunity to meet and exchange, you know, introductions with, and some of them you're one of them. I was able to connect on a deeper level, shared some personal connections with you there. But yeah, we, just after the event, we've just really the next move is to find where we're going to have the next event and then getting feedback from the vendors and attendees and our sponsors and want to take it to the next level.

Ty Cobb Backer: 3:06

so really just want to improve and get feedback and of course you want everyone to win that's awesome, that's good, that's good and it was such a great turnout. And not just that, but but the organization of it. You guys, I thought, did a great job in such a short amount of time and we said that like the entire week and everybody that we interviewed or talked to on you know little sidebar conversations, everybody was thrilled with the way that that it went off and the way that you guys pulled it together. And then, during even a hailstorm, right Like there was a hailstorm like day two I think, and it didn't seem like it cleared out. I really didn't. I didn't, I didn't see how that impacted.

Ty Cobb Backer: 3:51

No, no pun intended, the hailstorm impacted the attendance at at when the storm and then just the good content and, like you had mentioned, our conversation, which should have been a podcast, which is why you're on the podcast, not that we have to talk about any of that stuff and I I totally understand, um, you know divulging, you know personal information on online like this, because it is live and and raw and uncut stuff like that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 4:18

But myself, vick and you just had this great shit 30, 40 an hour conversation about life in general and the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows and stuff and I kind of thought, you know we could maybe pick up a little bit. You know kind of where we, where we left off. But first off, I want to bust your balls about something and call you out on something we seriously have to work on your personal brand. We seriously have to work on your personal brand. I, I, I went online to just kind of do some research, you know to, to dive a little deeper into some stuff and it's like obviously your brand and there's nothing wrong with it is is a mother, a wife to five beautiful children. That that I could see online.

Tiana Pilimai: 5:00

But it doesn't say where you work, where you worked see online, but it doesn't say where you work, where you worked. I'm very secretive, I'm a closed book and it's not. I'm actually ready to to open and and change that, but I've literally just been hiding behind the scenes and not letting people see who I am, the people that are in my life. I have friends in my life that I've known since kindergarten. All of my friends that I have are my best friends. I only have best friends. Um, everything else is just like business, but I I even the people that I've done business with are like my family. So I.

Tiana Pilimai: 5:40

I just I think that I don't know how to brown that Really I don't.

Ty Cobb Backer: 5:49

No, I get it and it's probably. Life is probably so much easier, whether you know it or not, being incognito the way that you are.

Tiana Pilimai: 5:55

Yes, yes, my sister calls me a Swiss army knife. That you can have me. Put me anywhere and I'll figure out and I'll master it and I blend in well everywhere I'm in operations and I call myself the glue of the company, of the team, because I show up for everybody in different ways and I kind of tweak it to what they need and just show up as best as I can to support the people in my life.

Ty Cobb Backer: 6:27

No doubt, no doubt. So I guess let's go back a little bit here. What and why, I guess? What did you do prior to coming to Wind, the Storm and what I guess made you qualify to do that in the position that you hold with Wind and Storm? So let's go back just a little bit. You don't have to go the whole way back, but like, why were you chosen to be the individual and the role model and the leader and put in that leadership position?

Tiana Pilimai: 6:57

So I was originally working with SolarCon, which is a solar convention, solar con, which is a solar convention, and I was the coordinator and running ops there. So, um, coordinating with all the vendors, the planning decorations, making sure that the entire event runs smoothly. So I was already doing that and and then the opportunity came up to work with Josie and I was just kind of doing that part time and then quickly got bumped up to that role as COO.

Ty Cobb Backer: 7:33

Yeah, yeah. No, that's amazing and that says a lot about you and the person that you are that none of us have got to see yet, because you don't have a personal brand out there of us have got to see yet because you don't have a personal brand out there. And but it does. And it says a lot about Josie too, because Josie is, I mean, just one of the most brilliant people that I, that I know, and I know that he he thinks this along the same lines as I do is that we have to surround ourselves around really smart people in areas that that either we don't have time to do or much smarter than us in those areas and able to see around corners that we can't see around.

Ty Cobb Backer: 8:10

So kudos and big shout out to both of you for doing such a great job and connecting at that level to be able to perform such an event that has been a staple in our industry for so long, and Jana and I's first event was Wind the Storm back in the day, so we've always held Wind the Storm near and dear to us, you know, as a team, as a family, just because that's where it really opened our eyes and we felt like, okay, we're not by ourselves out here anymore. And then we also realized that there are also larger companies out there doing a lot more revenue. So it really opened up our eyes to not think so small either. You know what I mean. And um, and then the relationships that you know when the storm has created like the conduit for us to. You know, I met Ericaul reed guys like that from roofers and recovery.

Ty Cobb Backer: 9:06

Um, I, I met scott uh, shoot, I'm gonna butcher his last name ria paula, ria paula, with interstate roofing I know, I don't know how to say it yeah, yeah, dude's a beast met him for the first time back in the day and so, like I said, it's been the conduit and you guys, you know, complimented the originalness you know of show since then. So I'm I'm still riding that high, um from that, and I know Vic and a couple of our other team members are also, uh, riding that high. But I got to ask you something what? What was it like um meeting Tim Grover?

Tiana Pilimai: 10:12

Uh well, so I read his book before I met him and before that, um, I, I did 75 hard. I went into phase one, phase two, and then Andy Frisella had written a book that was based off of Tim Grover. And so then, when I read Tim Grover's book, I was still working out and I was, you know, trying to place myself into this category of what he's explaining, and I was having a hard time because I was like, oh, I'm that person, I'm that person, I'm that person, but it's really just a choice, I can be any of those people. But when I actually got to meet him, I felt, um, I was a little bit, I was excited, but he was so kind and you know, meeting somebody that's a celebrity, it could go either way.

Tiana Pilimai: 10:57

And so the one thing that I absolutely loved about him was we had taken a picture. It was kind of blurry. He's like let's look at it. So we look at it. He's like, oh, let's take another one. We took like a couple of them, and he's like we got to make sure it looks good. And to me that was so deep because he took the time for me and I, and as we were walking he stopped and took a picture with every single person that wanted to, and just the engagement and just the time to connect and just do. That little simple thing might not mean as much to him as it meant to me or to that person, because he's very inspiring and what he has to share speaks volumes. So to be able to do that was really, really cool. I will never forget it, so yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 11:49

Yeah, and I guess there's a lesson to be learned there too, with that, that patience that he showed. You know, for cause sometimes I get so caught up in stuff too and I'm sure you're guilty of this as well it's like you know, just to take that time, you know, step back, take a breath or whatever it is, and pay attention to those that are around you and that impact that it had on you. That you know to to learn from that, because I know sometimes I get so caught up in stuff and it's kind of like I'll stop and say hi and like shake their hand but then keep moving on, but like they come back and say, hey, let's take another photo.

Tiana Pilimai: 12:22

Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 12:22

I mean that way you have a couple of them. Let's do it this way, let's do it horizontal, let's do it vertically, let's just take that time to connect right on a personal level and it's like I can learn a lot from that myself. And for those of you that may not know who Tim Grover is, tim Grover is is an award winning writer, author, speaker, motivational speaker. I mean if, if you want to call him motivational, he called himself something else. He's an elevator, not necessarily a motivational or inspirer, um, but he uh, winning. Winning was was a book that he wrote, but he's most famous for his uh, relentless book. That, uh, if you haven't read it, I highly recommend anyone that's in any position that just wants to get motivated in life in general, personally and professionally.

Ty Cobb Backer: 13:08

I highly recommend reading the book Relentless. It's a once a year book for me. I read it at least annually for probably the past five, six years now. Great book and then, most, I think importantly, what he were where his career had started was. And most I think importantly, where his career had started was, at least from what I'm familiar with, is that he coached Michael Jordan, but more so on, like a personal coaching motivational, and Kobe Bryant and some of the other, you know, some other famous athletes of our time. Was he what you expected him to be? Did you expect him to be this hard, burly, solid, you know guy.

Tiana Pilimai: 13:49

I went in with no expectations. I just was like I'm going to introduce myself, for sure, I wanted to meet him, but I just didn't know. And he is very, very kind, very welcoming, and, yeah, I didn't know, I didn't know what to think. So I was really really happy that that's who he is, because, um, I would now recommend any of his content. Really, I just meeting him and knowing that he's a genuine person, and then the content that he teaches, it's like it's so impactful and, and because I'm so family orientated and I'm a people person, I just I'm a huge lover. I feel like the world doesn't have enough love and I just think that when you can show up in that space for people in general, when you can show up in that space for people in general, the impact is so much greater, and so I really felt that from him. So that's why I connected.

Ty Cobb Backer: 14:51

Amen, amen. Now that's good. That's good because that was the impression that I was under as well too. You guys actually gave me the opportunity to MC a marketing panel right before he came on, and so I was able to get a really good seat in the arena there and my impression of him now I didn't meet him as intimately as you got to meet him, so I'm a little envious and I probably could have, but there was so much going on we were trying to tear down and I felt bad for Vic and everybody tearing down without my support and stuff. So I watched most of of his um, his lecture, I guess for back, back, lack of better terms and uh, man, he just it was so inspiring to me to actually finally meet him in person like that and be that close to him that I think I was kind of like starstruck because I would say I mean, I've met Ed Milet, I've met, you know, um, the iron cowboy, I've met, shit, tim Tebow. But I, I have to say you know, tim Grover is definitely, you know, the goat, the greatest of all time when it comes to somebody being in that space, and I think a lot of those people that I just mentioned may be like, not necessarily chasing, but have also been inspired by his message and the impact that he's had on individuals and stuff like that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 16:17

So let's go back a little bit when you were talking about 75 hard Okay, 75 hard. Okay, 75 hard is is a challenge for those of you that don't know what it is. Kind of like the fearless 44, but much harder, I feel like it's much harder, yeah, than the fearless 44, okay. So, having said that, that, that isn't just something that anybody can do or handle, let alone move on to phase two of that, okay. So getting through phase one would be difficult enough. And then you went on to phase two of that, and those of you that aren't familiar with it get check out Andy for Sella or Google fear or not fearless, but but 75 hard, and I'll tell you exactly what it is. There's an app. You can follow it. All that good stuff. Okay, you had to.

Ty Cobb Backer: 17:01

Something must've been going on in your life at the time, like you weren't happy with yourself or something you know drastic or dramatic, or something was going on in your life. Let's talk about what possessed you to become obsessed, I'm assuming, because you would have to be obsessed with this. You know we're motivated. You know what I mean Because you definitely appear to be, you know, focused, dedicated and disciplined person. You would have to be. But what was going on in your life at that time? You're like you know what I need, I need change, I need something different to happen here. So with 75 hard comes a huge transformation in somebody's life mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. So what, what happened? What was going on that you needed all that?

Tiana Pilimai: 17:46

what happened? What was going on that you needed all that? Um, well, after, like, covid, covid hit and then I was just, you know, the world changed and I was just like stuck indoors and, um, like, then then it wasn't covid anymore and then everything had to pick up and go back and I had realized I was in a space where I was just so unhappy I was just like doing the same thing every day and not, I was just on autopilot, wasn't really living. And then I got an opportunity to work with my sister at solar con and I didn't feel like I fit in for some reason. I was just like this something doesn't feel right, like I'm, I'm there and can do the work and I just need to push myself forward to a new space. And I didn't know what it was. So I actually went to this training called impact and my sister was like I'll work with you If, if you do this, like we can talk after you do this training. So I did the training and it was a life changer.

Tiana Pilimai: 18:53

But then, like I felt like I got this momentum, everything was going great, I had all these really great tools to work with, but then my brother passed away and me and my brother are so close and he was going through a lot of hardship in his life and normally I would have turned to drinking to cope with that. A lot of my friends were hitting me up to go drink and I was just like no, I don't want to grieve him that way and I don't want to pull myself back into this hole that I worked so hard to get out of. So I just decided and I had listened to Andy's podcast all through COVID and I was like he talked about 75 hard, but I never actually looked into it. And then I the first attempt. I failed after the second week. And then the second attempt I failed after like 20 days, something like that.

Tiana Pilimai: 20:04

And so this time it was different. I had a reason. So I was like I'm going to do this for myself, I'm committed, I'm doing this, I'm going to be my word. So I promised myself I would complete it. And then I didn't want to fall back into like. And then I didn't want to fall back into like, oh, I'm going to go drink. So I just dove deep into 75 hard.

Ty Cobb Backer: 20:30

Yeah, good for you. Good for you because that's that's not, that's not easy. I mean, jan and I tried 75 hard. I think I was good and I was. I think I was in a weird, a weird season of my life at that time too, where I knew I needed something, but we were so busy and to work out twice a day it just wasn't going to fit because I was traveling a lot. And I'm coming up with all these excuses right now, which I get the luxury of having today, like he would say right, I just I don't know what happened, but we we've completed the, the fearless 44, several times. We actually did like a fearless 88, like back to back, because there were some other people that wanted to do it and we decided to do it with them.

Ty Cobb Backer: 21:15

Um and uh, and I know it takes a lot of discipline and stuff like that, and and it's like you know I and I can relate to that feeling of you know, not fitting in or belonging and just kind of like out of the loop on things and like who am I? You know who am I, you know what I mean and and that that feeling in it and you know, and and recently I've I've had thoughts of you know, of you know I wanted to quit doing the, the, the fearless 44, and and, uh, you know it was like and I, and there were you know a few things go through my mind and and, uh, you know, and, and, whether I'm calling myself names or it's like everyone's going to think I'm a, I'm a cop out or I'm a quitter, and things like that. And I'm not by no means a quitter. Even I've failed doing the fearless 44 and started right over again. So it was like 66 solid days of doing this because I committed to quitting cigarettes by day 22. Like, there's 21 cigarettes in a pack and I was going to smoke one less cigarette each day. And everybody's like you're so dumb because, like you're quitting Okay, and you're still quitting. I'm like I know, but I smoked a cigarette on the day 22nd you know what I mean and ended up. But that's how committed and driven that I was and I I literally cried, like I was so upset and angry at myself that I failed right, that I was like you know what I'm going to start over. But that was such an unrealistic, stupid way to try to quit smoking cigarettes. Like people take medication to quit smoking cigarettes.

Ty Cobb Backer: 22:44

And I've been through and have quit a lot of things in my life Okay, over the years, and I have to admit, stop smoking cigarettes has been one of the most difficult things that I've. I mean, I'm talking alcoholism, drug addiction, everything been through the ringer Okay, put myself in many, many other people through the ringer, okay With my behaviors over the years. But but I got to tell you and I think the hardest part about it was is that I wasn't suffering any consequences yet from it, other than smelly clothes, stinky breath, yellow teeth, things like that. That just didn't seem to matter that much to me Up until that point. I was like I'm tired of walking into a meeting smelling like cigarettes, I'm tired of my clothes smelling like cigarettes, I'm tired of my teeth being stained between coffee and cigarette smoking and stuff like that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 23:31

But like, was there a moment that you felt like giving up, and I'm assuming that was that may have been the time before 75 hard or maybe during 75 hard, and what did you say to yourself or what thoughts went through your mind to help you push, maybe start 75 hard or maybe even during 75 hard was what was your thoughts and what did you say to yourself to keep pushing. So there's two questions here. I'm sorry, let's start with. You know, you touched on a little bit, like, okay, I'm going to do the 75 hard because I didn't. I was kind of in a weird spot in my life but like, were you at a moment of, like, just giving up, quitting my career, you know, drinking and all these things? Okay, so, like, what did you say to yourself it? Or what thoughts did you have at that moment where you're like, okay, I'm gonna do the 75 hard? What went through your mind? Your family, your kids? What, like, what was it?

Tiana Pilimai: 24:24

Uh, so usually I avoid my feelings altogether. I'm a very like, mellow person, very calm, um, even in really stressful situations it takes a lot to get me escalated, um, or to even like be vulnerable and open. I think a part of me was like I'm not gonna just sit here and cry all day. My heart was broken. But then I just dove deep into like pushing myself forward to do something, so that I was so focused on being committed to all the things that I was supposed to do every day my checklist that it was like I didn't have to focus on him passing and what that really meant. So I was like I'm going to show up for myself every single day. I'm going to do the things that I need to do to complete this 75 days and I'm going to prove to things that I need to do to complete this 75 days and I'm going to prove to myself that I can do it. And it was just really about being there for myself and just showing up.

Tiana Pilimai: 25:33

And I remember one night because I started this with a group of girls and then they slowly, one by one, fell off and then there was just two of us at the end. But I remember one night reaching out to them in our group chat and I was like, guys, it's 11 pm, I'm so tired, I had the longest day, I failed. And they were like, no, you didn't, you still got an hour before midnight, technically, the next day. And I was like, yeah, but it's like raining outside and it's cold. And they were like wah, wah. So I was like, damn it, okay.

Tiana Pilimai: 26:18

So I got up and I my husband's like where are you going? I'm like I'll be back, I have to do my workout. My husband's like where are you going? I'm like I'll be back, I have to do my workout, I'm not going to fail, I'm not going to give up. And I made this commitment and I just needed that reminder. So I just went outside and I set up my phone and I was just listening to music and dancing in the rain and just working out outside.

Tiana Pilimai: 26:43

And then I remember sending them a video of me, like it was all, I was all wet. And when I got back in I felt so proud of myself, I was like so excited and I was like man, I, I, I was going to give up so easily. And then, when I chose back in, and that moment I was like never again. So I completed it, no problems hands down, because I just had to get over that first excuse of like it's okay to fail and it's not, because if I allow myself to just give up then it makes it easier to give up the next time and the next time. So I mean, I'm not perfect and we all fail at things, but it was a motivation and inspiration to myself to, no matter what, pick yourself up and keep going, even through the rain, even through the weather.

Ty Cobb Backer: 27:43

So so good, that's good, that's good. You know, and, and you, you were talking about failing, and what the first thing that went through my mind was is the only way you're going to fail is by quitting, and that is a perfect example of that. Right, like, we might fail, and life, life is, is is a bunch of failures, right Like, I don't know how many times that I've attempted to do something and failed at it the first time, but kept going at it and kept going at it and kept going at it and finally, you know, succeeded at it. You know what I mean? It could be so many things. I mean, life is I, I, I could count the victories on, on probably both hands, and I couldn't. This room wouldn't be large enough to stack the failures that I've had. But, but the difference was, is that we didn't quit? Right, because I think that's really the only time that you can fail in life, in in your job, in in anything that we're, we're working towards, striving towards to be a better human being. I mean, life is about failing, right, you know?

Ty Cobb Backer: 28:44

And and and and, making mistakes and making errors, and we talk about this all the time on this podcast is is that that's how we gain experience, whether you know, whether it's identifying who we are and how far we can push ourselves right. It's a learning, learning curve, a learning thing, a learning, a learning about self-awareness, learning other people and you know things that might light them up, or you know tasks that I'm trying to become something different, you know, than I was yesterday, and I'm not going to do it right all the time and I still say stupid things, but I identify it a lot quicker today. It's like, oh shoot, I'm so sorry, that was really dumb, you know, but but these are all things that I've learned over making so many mistakes, right, mistakes like let's not even use the word failing, because it's like mistakes. You know, the only way we're going to fail is if we quit. And just to just to put that out there, because failure failing, you know I I've beat myself up, I am my own worst critic and can make myself feel like a failure, right, and I think I even say that to myself sometimes, like you know, you fricking failure, you know, and, and it's like I don't want it, and I got to remind myself, if I quit doing this right now, that's the only way that I'm going to fail, if I quit doing this podcast and stop being consistent with it, or if I quit on a relationship, or if I quit on something like that. That's, that's the only way that I'm going to fail, but that's.

Ty Cobb Backer: 30:12

I love what you said. I think that, and that's a, that's a beautiful story too. Um, speaking of success like what? What? What is? How do you define success?

Tiana Pilimai: 30:23

What is? How do you define success? To me, success is I measure my own success based off of my growth. So I look at every day as an opportunity to grow and so I reflect every single day. I reflect on what I did that day, the interactions that I've had with people, how I showed up for my kids, how I showed up for my husband, and I look at the ways that I could have, um, or for the next day, that I could improve there, and I look at the value and the condition of where I'm at in every, in every little aspect of my life. And so that's how I measure success. I feel like I'm super successful, whereas, like some people measure their success by money. I measure my success by how I feel inside and the results that are in front of me. If my children are happy, if my husband's happy, if the people that I work with are happy and things are running smoothly, then to me that's extremely successful amen, amen.

Ty Cobb Backer: 31:32

I knew you were going to say that. That's why I wanted to do that, because success starts at home yeah right, like it starts at home, and, and, um, so I got.

Ty Cobb Backer: 31:43

I think it was one day this week, my days were running together here. I left work a little bit early, um, the kids were all there, minus my oldest and his two kids, but my, our, our youngest, our middle child, janna and, and skylar, our grandbaby, were at home and, uh, we were kind of on a. There was a time why I had to be at home for whatever reason. I can't remember why, but they were expecting me to come home and make dinner. Right, I was able to shut work off, which was very difficult for me to do, and and be present. So I got home at a decent time. I think I was maybe 30 minutes late. Um, they wanted me home at three. I think I got there at three, 30. Cause I ended up leaving here 15 minutes later than I wanted to. But I got there, we made dinner and we sat down, and I think even rocket's girlfriend was there. So there was, there was a house full of us, right, and I'm sitting there thinking to myself like this is success.

Tiana Pilimai: 32:39

Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 32:39

Right, because I'm actually present now and that's something I had to work on. Like it's one thing to leave work early and go home and not be present. Right, I'm still answering the phone, I'm still checking my emails, I'm still scrolling Facebook, all of those things that I'm still guilty of today, right, but like, I made a conscious agreement with myself, right, like I'm going to be, I'm going to be present, and it really wasn't that difficult. It wasn't like I was struggling the whole time where it's like I kept picking my phone up. It was like, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. It was like I got there and I just hit that switch and I was like okay, this is family time, this is where my success begins.

Tiana Pilimai: 33:14

Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 33:15

Right.

Ty Cobb Backer: 33:15

So I did, we did dinner and stuff like that. And then yesterday I got a phone call from Jana because Skylar and Mackenzie were at the house. They came over and this week, this past weekend, rocket, jana and myself got the pool open. I should say Rocket and Jana got the pool open, because more so Rocket, because he just he loves it Just gets in there, took the cover off, got the mixture all right and ready and tested the water and all that stuff and got the pump and the filters and all that stuff out there. So Mackenzie and Skylar came over and they went swimming.

Ty Cobb Backer: 33:46

Well, I get a phone call, facetime, because Skylar, our granddaughter, wants me to either come home or do a video so I can watch her dive into the pool. And as soon as I got off the phone, the first thing that went through my head was that success, she wants me there. Okay, I couldn't make it. I had some meetings. Unfortunately they were a little too important to cancel. But I even thought about it for a minute. Like, can I actually get away with, like canceling this, the run home for about an hour to watch her dive into the pool? I couldn't but. But I didn't want to beat myself up over that, but the successful part of it was is that my kids actually want me there. My grandkids and my kids actually want me there. And how successful am I? Because they were.

Ty Cobb Backer: 34:30

At one point in time in my life nobody wanted me around. I'll be, I'll be just honest with you. Like 20, the decade and a half ago you know, probably even further back than that people just did not want me around. I was not invited to come back, it was a one and done. You've wore out your welcome bud and do not do not let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Okay, so to have people, especially my family, right, it's just, it makes me the wealthiest man. I feel like I'm the wealthiest man alive. And again, like you, you touched on like that's.

Ty Cobb Backer: 35:03

I'm not talking about money. I don't give. Really, I don't give two shits about money. Do I still get a little concerned over it sometimes? Of course, I'm an entrepreneur, right, there's a lot of people that that that rely on me.

Ty Cobb Backer: 35:13

But it's not about how much are we lining our pockets, it's, it's more so, the impact that we're having on others and how can we help put food on their tables and and, and you know just, they all know I'm working as hard as they are to put a roof over their heads, right, um, and that's that's another form of success. That I measure how successful I am today is like are we able to make payroll this week? Are we able to, you know, pay our vendors? Are we able to keep the lights on? Are we able to keep the door unlocked every Friday or every morning so they can come in and have a place to work? That is another form of success. It's not necessarily the revenue that comes in or that we we fill our bank accounts with, so not to keep going down that rabbit hole. Is there anything else that you want to add? Add to that before we move on.

Tiana Pilimai: 35:59

No.

Ty Cobb Backer: 36:00

Okay, okay, cool. So I was going to also, I was going to throw in, throw in there. So, like, where does success start for you? Does it? Does it start in the morning? And if it is like, what do you do for yourself so you can start out on a successful path for the day?

Tiana Pilimai: 36:14

uh, every morning, um, the first thing I do when I wake up is I will read something, um, whether it's like self-development, a quote. I will actually like write down my dreams and, if there's something that stuck out in my dream, what it was, and then I reflect on that. Sometimes I'll even look it up, like the meanings behind our dreams, and I will think about, like, why did that show up in my space? And and then I don't like I won't dwell too too much on it, but it will just stick with me throughout the day. And then, um, I jump up and sometimes I'll do like stretches and exercises, just like easy ones in the morning, and then get my kids up and ready for school and out the door and then I just dive right into work.

Ty Cobb Backer: 37:11

So, no, that's good. That's good Something I just recently started. I tend to wake up with negative thoughts. I don't know what that is Like, like some some form of insecurity. We have a lot of moving parts. There's quite a few things that I need to be concerned about or not concerned about, but be mindful of that. We have multiple businesses, multiple people and stuff like that, so I tend to wake up on more of an anxious mindset.

Ty Cobb Backer: 37:44

So Ronnie Laller with Avco Roofing was on last week and he had made a comment because I asked him that same question. Because, you know, most of these questions are where I'm at in my life, so it's kind of like a selfish thing where I come up with these questions. Or a book that I'm reading is where a lot of, a lot of our topics come from for this show. And and uh, I asked Ronnie like what was his morning routine? And the first thing that he he does is he starts thinking positive thoughts right away, right, and I should have asked him like, well, give me some examples? So, um, but what I started to do was is I started to do some like positive affirmations, right? So as soon as I opened my eyes and put my feet on the floor right away.

Ty Cobb Backer: 38:27

That, and I always say this like that I like to stack wins in the morning before I go out the door, and, and the first win that I stack is is that I'm capable of just opening my eyes this morning. Right, I got to be grateful even for the smallest, smallest of things. Right, so I get to open my eyes, I get to turn around, put my feet on the floor and I get to suck a sober breath, right, like, and I just stacked two or three wins right there. I just put my feet on the floor, I sucked a sober breath and I opened my eyes. Right, so I started to add in, like this, positive affirmations you are a good man, you are a good husband, you are a good entrepreneur, you are a good man, do you?

Tiana Pilimai: 39:04

say you are, or do you say I am?

Ty Cobb Backer: 39:07

I am.

Tiana Pilimai: 39:09

There's. That's a difference.

Ty Cobb Backer: 39:11

No doubt. Let's talk about that a little bit. What's the difference?

Tiana Pilimai: 39:15

Because you're saying you are as if you're not you know, when you say I am you're, you're claiming that you, that you know I am that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 39:26

Yeah. Like past tense, I was tense I was yeah, good man, yeah, no, I get that you are as if you're talking to someone else or an idea of somebody else okay, all right, now I'm pretty sure I'm saying.

Ty Cobb Backer: 39:38

I'm saying I am, I am a good man, right, I am a good entrepreneur. You know I am a good entrepreneur. You know I am a good provider. You know what I mean. And those are the things I started. And you know what's funny is is I, years ago, I read a book. I think it's called make your bed. I can't remember the name of the author, but he talks a lot about that and it might be a different book.

Ty Cobb Backer: 39:57

I've read quite a few books over the years, but that positive affirmation I think I'm saying that right in the mirror he would actually look in the mirror at himself and I used to do that because of self-doubt.

Ty Cobb Backer: 40:10

I mean, I would be lying to you if I didn't feel insecurity. Self-doubt, neurosis you know I'm very neurotic person, um, but I try to use those two to my advantage today that, quite frankly, for whether it's empathy for for other people's, empathy for for other people's feelings, um, the neurosis that you know I got to get shit done and I got to get shit done now has always worked really well for me. You know what I mean. So I try to use those tools that I've been blessed with right or feelings and emotions and stuff like that, and I and it is blessing, you're right. I want to look at it as a positive, not a negative, and and use them to my advantage. Right and and with being in recovery myself. I don't mind saying that because I need other people to know that they. Hey, if you need anything call me, yeah, is that I've unfortunately have the unfair advantage of my pain. Tolerance is much higher than most people because I have myself through some shit.

Tiana Pilimai: 41:09

Yeah, pain tolerance also.

Ty Cobb Backer: 41:11

Right, you know, and that's an unfair advantage that we would have, you know, because to be in a leadership position and tolerate certain things and work the hours that we put in and I know you guys put a lot of hours in, whether it be solar con or when the storm right I can only imagine and that's not for the faint of heart people to to work those long hours.

Ty Cobb Backer: 41:32

You know everyone can do it, that's right right, and I was gonna ask you earlier too, like, did you give yourself any time to decompress, or was it like done next, after, after, when the storm? Are you one of them like done next?

Tiana Pilimai: 41:46

you didn't even get to give yourself a moment to relish in it and no, it was done next, but usually I will take a week off, um, but this time I didn't and it was just go, go, go. And some of the team did take a break, but I was just like, no, we gotta, we gotta keep going. I probably should have taken a day to sleep. Um, it took me about three weeks to get caught up on sleep.

Ty Cobb Backer: 42:11

No doubt. I can only imagine. No, are you from Texas at least, so your time zones the same, no, I I'm living in Utah right now. You suffered probably almost the same thing that we suffered. So we came from PA, went to Utah, which is two hours different during a time change.

Tiana Pilimai: 42:30

Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 42:32

Yeah, yeah and then flew to Texas. So we were all messed up for a while. When we got back here, it was like I think we were actually getting caught up by the time we moved, got back here at least not three hours difference by that time. I think we were only getting caught up by the time we moved, got back here at least not three hours difference. By that time. I think we were only like about an hour. Really, biologically, my clock was only about an hour behind schedule at that time.

Tiana Pilimai: 42:55

Well, I was prepared because I had been working out consistently every day, every day, and I was. I was hitting like anywhere from 15,000 steps a day, maybe a little bit more, in preparation for being there when the storm, because we're hitting like over 20,000 steps. And so, to prepare for that, that's what I was doing and so, yeah, I just know like lack of sleep, lots of standing and running around.

Ty Cobb Backer: 43:26

Yeah, and that's such a great point that you brought up. There's the stamina, getting your stamina up Right, and that's what you were preparing yourself, and that's that's where working out and eatingistently, work at a high level you have to take care of your body. You have to take care of yourself first and foremost and this might sound a little selfish and contradictory compared to what we were just saying, right, like. So we, we love people, we love impacting people's lives and things like that. But first and foremost, we must take care of ourselves first, right, because if we can't take care of ourselves, we can't take care of anybody else. It's just like when you're on an airplane, right, and the lady's describing to you with the oxygen mask and where the life thingy is under the seat and all that stuff, the first thing she says to you is is put your air on first.

Tiana Pilimai: 44:20

Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 44:21

Okay, put your air on first, then put your, put your, your partner, your significant others or your kids mask on. The reason why they tell you that is because by the time you go to put theirs on, you may be out of air and can't even help them because you just ran out of oxygen.

Ty Cobb Backer: 44:36

So, the first thing that we have to do is we have to get feed ourselves the oxygen first, right, and and I always say this too like if we can't take care of ourselves and and we're we're acting like we're running around taking care of everybody else, now we're just playing the martyr.

Tiana Pilimai: 44:49

Yeah, yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 44:50

You know what I mean. But we have, that's the thing. We beat ourselves up so much and it's like you know. We got to take that hour a day, hour and a half, two hours a day, whether it's 30 minutes in the morning, reading stuff, self-affirmation, you know, cold shower, whatever that is and then we perform, like you guys performed, a phenomenal show right 20 hours a day, 20,000 steps a day, like if you weren't working out and preparing your mentally and physically and spiritually for that, you may not have been able the entire team, right, may not have been able to pull off when the storm this year. Would you agree to that?

Tiana Pilimai: 45:35

Yeah, I, I, I, the team that we have, we all are kind of like that, focused on health and fitness. There's a few that are open to the idea of it, but fit in well with us, and so, because we're all very driven and work like that and live our lives that way, it it definitely made things a lot easier.

Ty Cobb Backer: 45:59

Absolutely, and those people that probably aren't doing it yet are probably 20 years younger than us too.

Tiana Pilimai: 46:04

Yes, yes, they're already in shape.

Ty Cobb Backer: 46:08

Right, exactly, exactly. But I I find, the older that I get, I got to work on my stamina and I call it stamina. You know what I mean. It's like treadmills. Good, I do treadmill, I walk, I run, I jog, I hike and stuff like that, intentionally to keep that, so I can work long hours, so I can attend conferences and be on the floor for 12, 16 hours. Like I have to do those things or I can't make it through it. I won't be able to do what we do the traveling, the hours, the impact. You know what I mean, because inspiring can be tiring.

Tiana Pilimai: 46:40

It is.

Ty Cobb Backer: 46:41

You know what I mean? Yeah, and that's the thing. Like we have to be there for others. Plus, we need to be here for our families, for the longevity. And if we're not taking care of ourselves, smoking cigarettes and not working out and eating healthy, what example are we being okay, first and foremost, to those that are around us? Right, because we are the sum of those that we surround ourselves with, but then to not be here, it's almost like a selfish act that we do if we're not taking care of ourselves because we won't be here for the longevity, for our families yeah you know.

Ty Cobb Backer: 47:13

So it's really a selfish act by us.

Tiana Pilimai: 47:15

Not taking care of ourselves is the selfish part of it, not us like flows into every other aspect of your life, as like showing up in working out and being healthy and you're not spending as much money on medical bills and going to the doctors and stuff and it just becomes easier way of living. And then that flows into even in the work environment. It's a better mentality, just clear minded and just focused, you know, and just that alone can speak volumes with with people's jobs, because they're able to actually do the work.

Ty Cobb Backer: 47:53

No doubt, no doubt.

Tiana Pilimai: 47:55

Circling back to your words of affirmation, yes.

Tiana Pilimai: 47:59

We gathered the when the storm team on the main stage the morning before I think this was day one, yeah, so before the main stage happened, they were doing sound check and I had told everyone meet me on the stage and they didn't know why and I was like, just meet me there at seven 30 in the morning and we'll be there. So, uh, we got on stage and I had the AV team play some music and we did deep breaths and, um, I had them close their eyes and then I said think of a word that you're committed to create for this event, Something that an intention that you're putting out for to happen for the vendors, for the attendees and for yourself. And I just yell it out. And so we did that. It was different for them. They were not, they thought it was like weird.

Tiana Pilimai: 48:56

But, um, but it's something that I do with the team because it it unifies us. Plus, it's putting out what we're committing as a team together. So it was like, um, relationship building, connections, connections, abundance, joy, just unity and acceptance. Because you know, we're all. Everything was new and it was changing, new ownership, and so all of the words that were said, it literally came to be, and the conference really did exactly what we had intended to be.

Tiana Pilimai: 49:36

I agree it was really cool to experience that and to have them say those things and then have it roll out that way. So words of affirmation are very powerful.

Ty Cobb Backer: 49:49

Absolutely. I agree A hundred percent. I I my only regret was stopping it myself personally, and I I can, I can, I will, um, agree that it works. Because you know, what's the crazy thing was is this morning, before I was, I was kind of in that state of sleeping where I was awake but I wasn't awake. Yeah, um, and I'm in that state a lot throughout my my sleep. I have no problem falling asleep. It's just kind of like staying asleep or getting to that realm. Sleep, okay, is where I have issues. So I was in that state where I was thinking, but I was sleeping, and I love it when it's a positive, goal-oriented, you know focused vision, you know thinking thoughts, you know what I mean. That that I had cause a lot of times it. That's that's why I think I wake up in that anxious anxiety feel kind of feeling, not as far as like impending doom stuff, but just like, oh shit, I got to do this. Oh shit, I got to take care of that. Oh shit, don't forget that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 50:54

Well, this morning was more so about some things that we're working on as a team. We're working real hard on. We revamped. It's taken me probably almost four years to revamp our core values and and I think we will do an episode of reviewing our core values and the importance of core values but not just having words on the wall. Okay, I went way deeper than that. It's paragraphs explaining exactly what fulfilling your fidelity means. Right, instead of just putting integrity up on the wall. What the hell does that?

Tiana Pilimai: 51:26

mean yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 51:27

So I wrote this whole thing out and then we created these KPIs and stuff and how it all kind of intermingles harmoniously, cohesively, right, like, if you follow these core values in our mission statement, right, you shouldn't have to worry about, you know, making mistakes you shouldn't have to worry about. You know, if you're living by these core values, right, it's going to minimize risk. Right, I'm not saying mistakes aren't going to happen, but if your heart and your mind is in the right place, right, it's going to minimize, you know, the exposure or the liability. Right, it's going to minimize it. It's like almost insurance, just live by these. And I'm not saying an accident's not going to happen, but they're going to be shrunken, it's, it's, it's going to be very small. And then the KPIs, right, or key, key, key, uh, performing indicators. Everybody knows what they are, so we're putting them in and how, how it kind of flows over into that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 52:27

And, uh, there were some other things that I just weren't wasn't real clear on yet and it was just so funny how, by being doing these positive affirmations that I've been doing in the mornings, how you know, once you work them for a while, then they start working.

Ty Cobb Backer: 52:42

You, yeah, right, like, like it starts working in my life Right and and this morning was a perfect example of that Like I didn't have to force myself to think positive thoughts about myself, like automagically. Like this morning, my first thoughts, like was was clarity and some vision, like, oh shit, yes, that's perfect. Like that. Like I don't even know if you want to call that like a paradigm shift or or whatever that was that, that that is happening to me right now, but it was just super cool to like finally find get like that clarity in this, this one key component that just kind of ties the core values, the mission statement, the kpis, all together in this harmonious like like, if you do this, all of these will work and then, and if all of these are working, we don't have to work so hard at the end of the year to meet our goals well, that falls into line with exactly how I live my life.

Tiana Pilimai: 53:36

Is I be the things that I that list? You know that you're talking about I be it, then I do those things and then I have what I want to be it. Do it, have it.

Ty Cobb Backer: 53:48

Yeah, amen, exactly, I mean, in the mind is a powerful, powerful thing, and that goes into positive thinking versus negative thinking. Right, if you're continuously thinking and complaining, thinking negative, negative things and complaining all the time negative things are going to happen. It just even health issues, right Down to your health, your, your mentality, everything just your. Your health declines and all kinds of things. If you're just another, affirmation.

Tiana Pilimai: 54:15

You're affirming those negative things.

Ty Cobb Backer: 54:17

A hundred percent works the exact opposite way too.

Ty Cobb Backer: 54:20

Yeah Right, you know. So you're continuously thinking good, positive thoughts and looking for the solution instead of staying in the problem. The solutions come a lot quicker, but then less bad things start to happen because the way that you're looking at things is like. Bad things start to happen because the way that you're looking at things is like why is this happening to me? Versus this, why is this happening for me at this moment? And that's that's something Ed Milet talks about in one of his books. He's got two great books out too that I highly recommend reading at least a yearly thing. If you haven't already read them, read them.

Ty Cobb Backer: 54:49

Ed Milet's got two books out, um, and he talks a lot about why. Why are things happening for me? Instead of like why is this happening to me, what was me? Kind of thing and I've been talking about this a lot on my lives. It's like.

Ty Cobb Backer: 55:00

It's funny when, when you start thinking, switching your thinking the positive thoughts of like okay, why is this happening for me right now. You may not know what that is at this moment and it doesn't have to be clear. Just know something good, whether it's a lesson learned or or man, like something good is just going to come out of this right now I know it's the most worst thing Is it going to push us to create another system or process? You know what I mean? Is it, is it going to make us buy better insurance? Is it, is it going to help us put another KPI in place? Like there's something good? A lesson is going to be learned, regardless of whatever that situation is, no matter how horrible that situation is. You know and this is the sad reality of it is good, bad things are going to happen to good people regardless life. Life happens, but how we deal with it and our perspective on it is what makes the difference.

Tiana Pilimai: 55:52

Definitely I have. So there was this incident Um and this is just like a perspective of of that Um in 2017, my daughter got hit by a car and just an accident Like. My daughter ran out into the street, the car hit her and most people's reactions to that would be like really upset at the driver right, um, saying the worst things or, you know, blaming and blaming and shaming or whatever. When I had arrived on the scene, my daughter obviously she had to get life flighted out but I went over to that mom and I just hugged her and she was, you know, like shocked because who does that? And I thought back a million times like should I have reacted that way?

Tiana Pilimai: 56:49

But I hugged her so like deeply, and I was like I, because I couldn't imagine what it felt like to be her. You know, like she knows what it felt like to be me like, because that you know that those, those are two different shoes, but I just felt so bad that she had to live with that. So I forgave her instantly and just the the way that I have interacted with her and carried my my self through life that way, um, I've I've just been able to see things happen for me and and not to me, like I could have said been a victim in there and called my daughter a victim and I didn't need, like I never even let her be a victim. I was like you're not a victim, like you got hurt and what? How? What did you learn from that? You know, um, don't run into the street without looking both ways. So, yeah, it was really cool and I still am in contact with her till this day. So just another way that connections happen in strange ways.

Ty Cobb Backer: 58:11

Yes, I was going to ask you are you still in contact with the lady driving that car?

Tiana Pilimai: 58:16

Yeah, I am.

Ty Cobb Backer: 58:17

So, she.

Tiana Pilimai: 58:19

She visited us at the hospital and she made a donation we had a go fund me for her back then and she brought her a whole bunch of stuff to the hospital and you know, she felt really bad and I just said like it's okay, she's okay and like, even if it was very tragic and that she didn't make it, I would have responded the same way.

Ty Cobb Backer: 58:46

So is your daughter okay today.

Tiana Pilimai: 58:50

Um, like she had suffered severe concussions and she had a broken femur and so she was in a wheelchair and she had rods in her leg for six months. So that was an interesting healing process to do that with her Um. She was in therapy physical therapy, but she's a rock star, and um she plays sports now. A rock star and um, she plays sports now, so she's in a team captain in basketball and volleyball, so she's on the varsity team. She does great. So yeah, yeah she's.

Ty Cobb Backer: 59:27

She's a really tough little girl, so yeah, yeah, and that's so cool that that you handled it that way, because you could have let that manifest in. You know, like you said, playing the martyr, playing the victim, playing all this but the positive may not have appeared. Right, that what, the relationship that was developed, the lessons that was learned for all three parties, right, your daughter, yours and this woman. So maybe she drives more cautious now. Maybe your daughter used uses that adversity Every time she comes up against something difficult. Right now, it's like this is not as nowhere's near as bad as when I was laying in the hospital bed for, you know, three weeks or whatever it was. Do you know what I mean? Like, these are moments that define us as as human beings, and that's that's really cool that you handled that, handled it that way, because, way, because you know that could have been, that could have set your life on a whole different trajectory.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:00:18

Right, you just went down this negative path and stayed there for months, years, shit dragged her down with it, like made her a victim by telling her those things you know, and just totally putting her down into this category in this label, and I just was like, no, you're not gonna be that. And I label. And I just was like, no, you're not going to be that. And she, I didn't know if she was going to limp or if she, like, one of her legs is longer than the other now, and so we, you know, we just make ways to make it work, but I, I just was like, if I keep her there, what is that going to do to the rest of her life?

Tiana Pilimai: 1:00:57

And you know, it was hard because she was in a school that was athletic, based at the time at this academy, and so she was kind of bullied because she was in a wheelchair and that's not very common in an athletic school, very common in an athletic school. So I just was like there's kids that just don't understand what you're going through and that's just where they're at. But that doesn't mean that's who you are. You are different, you are in a different situation. You can't walk, you got hit by a car. Do they know what it's like? No, they will never know unless it happens to them and you know God forbid that ever did Like. It's unfortunate that this happened to you, but guess what? We get to use this and learn from it and grow and you're going to be a lot stronger than a lot of those kids because you've experienced so much pain.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:01:53

Amen, amen. That's so good, you're so true.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:01:57

The toughest little girl I've probably ever met.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:02:00

You know that I can only imagine. I can only imagine. So we're at an hour and four minutes. But, before we get off here, I got one more last question for you. If you had the opportunity, what would you say to your younger self right now?

Tiana Pilimai: 1:02:21

Trust myself that I'm enough, that I didn't need other people to be who I wanted to be.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:02:31

Yeah, that's so good.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:02:33

That I'm enough.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:02:35

Yeah, that you're enough. And that you are, yeah, no, that's so good enough. Yeah, that's sure enough. And that you are, yeah, now, that's so good. I, I just wanted to. I felt like, as we were talking, I thought, you know that would be a good, good question. Like what, what would I I don't even know what the hell I'd tell myself right now if somebody asked me that question.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:02:49

But that you're enough because, as like you said, as as kids growing up, you know and and people pick on us and the codependency and and and things that we, we struggle with and that weren't maybe even identified back then. Um, at least for for my age group of people, you know, there were so many things that were going on and it was like, okay, he's just hyperactive, all right, put him on ritalin or whatever like that. Like you know, ocd and adhd and all those things weren't recognized and I don't know how, how. Uh, true, most of that stuff is or whatever, anything like that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:03:25

But I, I think, if I suffered and I think I do, I've never been diagnosed medically but but self-diagnosed, probably OCD, right, I've learned to, to use that to my advantage. You know what I mean Under certain circumstances and daily life's. You know task and things like that. But but yeah, I mean you know you are enough. Everybody is, you are enough, like we don't need somebody else to to say we're good enough. Right, whether it's a parent, a loved one, you know significant other.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:03:56

Well, I just struggled, like growing up, I always, I mean, I was friends with everybody. Everyone was my friend, even people that other people bullied. Those kids that got bullied, they were my friends. Like the kids that had special needs, they were my friends Like the popular group. Those are my friends. I like I made friends with everybody and I wanted to be liked by everybody. And then and then, at the same time, I didn't care if anybody liked me. It was a strange mixture, but at some point I was like just this feel fearless person. I was never scared to like say what I thought or felt.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:04:40

And then something just changed and I just went down this wild teenager path and just forgot, like I was just so busy like fitting in with everybody and, um, you know, like partying, hardcore partying and just didn't care that I lost who I was. And then I I didn't feel like I was enough and I was like, oh, because trying to fit in with so many people, that's like that's a big job. Was trying to fit in with so many people, that's like that's a big job and it's um, I forgot who I was and so I didn't think I was enough and then like got into like really awful relationships that didn't serve me, and then me like I, I fed that belief that I wasn't enough. And then it just snowballed and I just believed it so much that I allowed myself to be treated this way by people. And so I just got beat down so bad that I just stayed there.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:05:46

And so now you know, I was like I'm hiding though I don't want people to see me but I'm. I don't know if I'm ready, but I'm ready. I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I'm, I'm an open book. Like you asked me a question, I'll be honest with you. I don't have anything to hide and I feel like everything that I've ever experienced in my life is very valuable, and all of the lessons that I've learned. I would never undo those, even though it was really hard to go through them. But I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't experienced all those things, and at the time they felt hard. But now, when I am faced with something that feels hard, it's a flag that goes up, and it's not even a red flag, it's a green flag saying this is money. You know, this is valuable, this is pay attention, because if it's hard and it's stopping you. That's where you need to focus and learn from that. It's telling me that there's something very valuable there to pay attention to so that I can grow.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:06:59

Amen, amen to that. It's happening for you, not to you, yes, for sure, and those are the things that define us as human beings. We can stay in that, stay stuck and let that define us. You know and be that. You know not as productive person, I don't want to use too many key choice words. I'd like to use in that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:07:21

you know where we stay a piece of crap yeah, right or we can allow those experiences to elevate us to, to inspire other people, like, hey, you don't have to, you don't have to let this happen anymore, you are enough. Right, like you don't need other people's acceptance, right, and you don't need other people's acceptance, right, and you don't need other people to be who you want to be today. You know what I mean. You got to find yourself. It's self-awareness and using those experiences that we've gone through in life as a benefit to who we are today in order to have an impact, a positive impact, on other people's lives today.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:07:53

And that's the key to any success, right? Is is success is measured by how many people that we impact positively, not necessarily the bank account, you know. Touching on that again, like we talked about earlier, it's like that's how you measure successes. You know it's it's the hundreds of people, not the hundreds of dollars. Right, we're going to measure it. Like, let's impact hundreds of people, right? Like, like that, that's that's life's silver bullet. If anybody wants to know the, the silver bullet to success is is impacting other people's lives. It has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with them, opposed to you taking care of yourself. So you're in a great mental, mind, body, spirit, spiritual shape to be able to help people, right, you know, serving, serving others is the silver lining to the silver bullet, to to all of this that we're talking about today.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:08:48

So that's why I always smile. I actually, I always smile. I actually it's just who I am. I smile all the time, even if I cry, I smile. It's silly, but I find the humor in things and I just genuinely know that a smile can make a difference in somebody's life, and the impact that I have on people's lives has has been spoken to me by many people and that I feel like I've lived my purpose and so no doubt.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:09:25

well, you inspired me enough to ask you to come on the show with our conversation that vick and myself and you had out there. I was like we, and I think think Vic may have said something to me before I was thinking it, but he said it first. He was like dude, we got to get her on the show and the time wasn't right.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:09:41

I was really excited when you asked me.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:09:43

I was nervous the first time, but yeah Well, we wanted you to come on the big show. This is our Wednesday night, you know, weekly show where we get the most, you know, impact I I feel not that we don't at the 10, 15, 20 minute little clips that we do at the conventions, but this is where, you know, right now, I think we we have, you know, 10, 15, 20 people watching right now, but the replays and the in the, you know the people catch us on the replays and stuff like that. Tens of thousands of people will watch this. This is what, this is where our impact is and this is how this platform we've used this platform for that purpose is.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:10:20

Is the impact that started out, you know, to to plug one of our charitable events that we did locally, is how the podcast got started. We had no idea how to like get it out into the public's eye, like, hey, we're, we're, we're hosting this, uh, you know, uh, a silent auction to to help a nonprofit organization, and someone suggested doing a Facebook live and I was like, oh shit, so this, this whole thing, like started out with, you know, trying to have an impact on people's lives and those that take the time out of their day to sit here and listen to us for an hour or so. Um, most of them are people that people that tune in weekly Like it's the same people, it's our people that are just dying to hear that, what you have to say. Hopefully I can come up with good enough questions to pull some good stuff out of you. You know, because this isn't about me, this is all about you and the impact that you're going to have on people. We're just kind of the conduit to get you there.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:11:14

Yeah. Well, I really appreciate you taking the time to speak with me and inviting me onto your show.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:11:21

Yeah, we appreciate you coming on. We appreciate our viewers, our watchers, our listeners. Don't forget to check out. Next week I will be in Cayman. It's going to probably be quite a few guests that'll be on. I'm going with a great group of men to Cayman, from Tim Brown, eric O, mike, claudio, joe Huffman. I mean, I'm going with some pretty heavy hitters. I'm probably the lowest man on the totem pole with the group of men, but I got to do that.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:11:52

I got to step outside my comfort zone and surround myself around the lowest much higher performing people so I can elevate my game here a little bit, right. But thank you for coming on and thank you for everybody for for listening today and have a great, great week. Rest of your week, everybody, and check us out next week at 12 PM Eastern standard time. I'm not sure what time that will be in Cayman, but we'll make sure that we're 12 pm Eastern Standard Time next week. So thank you, guys.

Tiana Pilimai: 1:12:22

Thanks.