Behind the Toolbelt
Behind the ToolBelt is a live, raw, and uncut podcast that brings real, unfiltered conversations about business, leadership, and the entrepreneurial mindset. Hosted by Ty Cobb Backer, CEO of TC Backer Construction, this live show features industry leaders, innovators, and experts sharing their experiences, strategies, and insights. From building successful companies to overcoming challenges, each episode offers valuable perspectives for entrepreneurs and business owners and leaders looking to grow, and make an impact.
Behind the Toolbelt
Building Connections Through Shared Stories and Support
Celebrating five years and 269 episodes of Behind The ToolBelt is no small feat, and what better way to honor this journey than with our good friend, Stephen Spence? Our chat is filled with nostalgia and laughter as we exchange stories about the meaningful merchandise we've gifted each other over the years. Steven's cherished red t-shirt and that trusty Nike performance shirt have become more than just workout gear—they represent the profound bonds and shared passion for branding that have made this podcast a remarkable ride.
Juggling the roles of parent and entrepreneur is far from easy, and the quest for work-life balance is a recurring theme. Inspired by the wisdom from the book "The One," we share personal tales of striving to be truly present, both at work and at home. It's not about achieving perfection but finding what feels right, even if it means altering routines to treasure moments with family. A touching moment unfolds with a story of my son's achievements in his building trades program, underscoring the value of intentional interactions with loved ones that fill us with pride and gratitude.
Entrepreneurship is often a journey of decisions and growth, as illustrated by our mentoring experiences with young talents like Grayson Listman. Each young individual, whether it's Eli with his emotional intelligence or Dia with her ambitious dreams, highlights the importance of nurturing potential. The balance of personal and professional life isn't just a challenge; it's an art form that requires supportive partnerships and self-care. As we navigate anxiety and the pressures of entrepreneurship, we're reminded that taking care of ourselves ensures we bring our best selves to both work and the family table. From Sunday rejuvenation rituals to the excitement of a family reunion, this episode celebrates the intricate dance of balancing life’s many hats. episode explores the complexities of work-life balance, discussing how prioritizing family time can enhance clarity and reduce anxiety. Ty and Steven candidly share their experiences navigating stress and the importance of personal well-being, underscoring that satisfaction stems from cherished relationships.
• Emphasis on the importance of celebrating personal milestones
• Discussion of the concept of work-life balance being a myth
• Importance of carving out intentional family time
• Sharing personal experiences with managing anxiety
• Clarity comes from stepping back from work
• The role of personal health in effective leadership
• Realizations about satisfaction stemming from family connections
• Encouragement to share strategies for coping with stress
To watch your favorite episodes of Behind The ToolBelt plus much more content, go to our YouTube Channel and subscribe.
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And we are live Welcome back everybody to Beyond the Tool Belt, episode 26. Stories are bold, the conversations are real and the insights come to you live, raw and uncut. Every week, host Ty Cobb-Backer sits down with game changers, trailblazers and industry leaders who aren't afraid to tell it like it is no filters, no scripts, just the truth. Please welcome your host of Behind the Toolbelt.
Ty Cobb Backer:Ty Cobb-Backer. All right, and we are back, and we are live in the studio with my friend, steven Spence. Thank you, everybody for joining us again on this awesome Wednesday edition of Behind the Toolbelt, episode 269. We're almost at that. One 270 mark man, I could swear it's like Groundhog Day, week after week after week after week. I swear, five weeks in a row. It's like how is it not 270 already? But having said that, we have recently celebrating our fifth anniversary of Behind the Tool Belt. This started January 23rd of 2020. Of behind the tool belt, this started january 23rd of 2020. Oh sure, my my series.
Ty Cobb Backer:My series was was me, sometimes, just so you know. Yeah, so, but um, we're, we're super pumped about that and of course, I'm super pumped to have one of my, my closest friends. I can honestly say that we don't speak as much as I would like to on a regular or weekly basis, but any time that we do speak it's like we pick right up where we left off. How we're doing, how's the family? All that good stuff, and I know that you always got my back, steve. So welcome to the studio Behind the Tool Belt studio. And how the hell are you doing, buddy?
Stephen Spence:Tired, but I'm really good, I'll see you Tuesday. I want to come up. I mean I think that's what we discussed the other day. So get back, talk a little lead scout, talk a little TC backer, talk a little project map and I am sporting my, my, my swag, just so you know. Yeah.
Stephen Spence:I like that. Yeah, you know, I see people all the time. I just I understand why people do it. But I see people talking about branding. I will never wear another brand. It's only going to be my brand and that's it. Fuck that, and I love wearing your brand. Honestly, same here. I don't care, but I respect what people say when they say that.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, I do too. I, I I get that, you know, but I also appreciate supporting your friends business as well. So I I definitely wear your t-shirt, your red t-shirt. That's a heathered red, yeah, and it's kind of resembles like an old school print on the front of it. It's kind of washed out. It's my favorite fricking shirt. I wear it just about every other day when I work out like you wear.
Ty Cobb Backer:You know, some of our swag at the gym too, when you work out like you wear. You know some of our swag at the gym too, when you work out. But it is like my favorite shirt, I feel it. I don't I can't remember the brand of it. It's not next level, it's something else, but it it is just, if not better than next level, because that's why I intentionally wear it when I work out, because it fits me the way that I want it to fit. It's never shrunk, um, and I can move it. It's, it's stretchy, flexible and it's just. I love it. And then your Nike shirt that you gave me too is probably one of my other favorite shirts.
Stephen Spence:Every time I travel, I take that with me. Everywhere I go. That's a t-shirt, right Like a performance shirt yeah, it's like a performance or like a. I'm not a. I'm not a huge sweater or smelly person, but whenever I wear that shirt, man, I smell like ass. So I just don't wear that one.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, I take it with me for either, you know, to work out in, but it'd be just because it's a wicking type of shirt. So everywhere, I don't care if it's a revolt retreat or we're traveling, for, you know, lead Scout or Beyond the Tool Belt, I take it to every show, so I um, I I know I text you this every so often.
Stephen Spence:I'm a creature of habit. This hat probably smells pretty badly and it's dirty inside because I, when I go to the gym, I do not wear. This is the hat I wear every time, for, like, I mean, you gave me this hat what? Four years ago, I mean I literally wear.
Ty Cobb Backer:I've worn this hat hundreds of times at the gym. That's good, that's good. I appreciate that. Oh yeah, you know, and what's cool about it? It probably has sentimental value. When I gave it to you, we probably don't remember why or where we were at, but you still hold on to it because of that moment we were at, but you still hold on to it because of that moment.
Ty Cobb Backer:And that was probably one of the first runs of our rebrand too, because if it was about four years ago, we, we went through like a couple of little rebrand transitions there where even for a minute, we started to put something on you know logo and stuff like that, on stuff. And then I had changed my mind. We, we, it was TC backer roofing and that was a part of the logo in the name, because the, the name is the logo. That's the thing I tried to explain to any design graphic art person that they don't get that Like literally the name is the logo. That just has a resemblance of a peaked roof on the very top. So we had taken roofing out, even though we never had it in there before. It's always been TC backer construction and there was a couple of things that rolled out, that had roofing on the end. But long story short, that was one of the first runs of our new brand.
Stephen Spence:So when I met you the very, very first time, so the very first time we met. Where did we meet? Do you remember SRC?
Ty Cobb Backer:No, Was it no In Denton? I thought that's the first time.
Stephen Spence:We hung yes At your podcast at your office, the first time. That's the first time, I think, we ever met, isn't it?
Ty Cobb Backer:I think you're right where you came up here to get one.
Stephen Spence:Yeah, and I got here early. I got to your place early and the first time that was this ugly dude named Vic, this god awful good looking dude named Vic who's on the backend right now I know you're probably sticking your middle finger up at me, vic and Vic gave me this hat and this is the first swag I ever got from TC backer this hat.
Stephen Spence:So when you, I never even thought about me this hat and this is the first swag I ever got from TC Backer this hat. So when you, I never even thought about it this way. I think you're right. I think probably it has subconsciously become like this sentimental swag apparel that I wear literally every time and when I work out I feel good, right, because I'm a stress pot. All I do can be with my family. I try to be intentional there, but you know, working out helps relieve some stress and this is my hat, this is my go-to.
Ty Cobb Backer:That's awesome, that's great. That's great. You know, that's probably a good segue into a great conversation of you know work, you know, and and I was listening I'm listening to a book right now and reading it. It's called the One and there's a workbook with it and then there's a daily planner with it.
Ty Cobb Backer:I sit on with Eric O, the culture movement. He has a biweekly call and I sit in on it and right now he's got the team, or you know the men that he coaches, reading the book the One. So of course I want to stay caught up, so that way when I do check in with those guys, I'm at least in a good spot. And I don't remember the author and unfortunately I'm cramming it in before now. I'm trying to actually finish the book before next Tuesday's call and so I I'm going to have to probably re-listen to it again and then pull the book up and then kind of highlight and study some things in it. But the one thing that the one thing that he had mentioned in the book was is that there is no such thing as work life balance.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Ty Cobb Backer:Whatever you pay attention to, something's going to, something else will suffer, right or or be lack, like like. You know what I mean. So if I'm trying to be super intentional with my family, that means probably something at work is falling behind. If I'm trying to play catch up at work and I'm super intentional about being at work, I'm probably slacking on. You know, family, personal time and stuff like that. And and I like how he put it, he said so when you're at work, finish your job and work and when, when it's time to play, play.
Stephen Spence:So I would do this on another podcast. I used to put my phone away at night. So I would just be intentional with my wife. We would hang out on room, watch TV, hang out, talk about each other's day and stuff like that. And I did a really good job, to the point where I'd actually put a notice on my phone so if someone texted me it would say you know I'm hanging out with the family. I hope you understand that. I'll get back to you tomorrow. I'll be honest with you, man. Lately I've not been, I've not done a good job on that and I'm and I need to get back to that Like I am, I'm feeling the stress, I am. I'm feeling the stress, I know I am, I can feel it. So I just need to be more intentional that way, to be honest with you.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, yeah, you know it's. It is super hard, and he also mentioned that you will drive yourself nuts trying to seek balance. So I think for for us high performing you know hard driving, you know, you know want to get and perfect everything. We're perfectionists, right Like we want to have the perfect family time lifestyle and we also want to do and perform as best as we possibly can at work. I think the important thing to get from this is to just find that balance that we feel okay with.
Ty Cobb Backer:Whether it's like Rocket I try to do my damnedest to spend time with Rocket in the morning now that he has to get up early. The last couple of years he's got to get up. For a 16-year-old kid, I think super early to catch the bus that quarter after six in the morning and then be on the bus for an hour and a half, so I'm not already gone for two hours. I intentionally come in later to work. Now, of course, jana is up, already up, so I have that intentional time. Whether it's, you know, sometimes it's five minutes, sometimes it's 25 minutes it depends on, you know, the rotation in the shower and the bathroom and letting the dogs out and stuff like that. It really hinges upon how much time we get to. You know, if he's running late, you know. Then he's out the door. If I'm, you know, running late because I got in the shower after everybody else was in the shower, because that's typically what I try to do is just wait, even though he's got his own bathroom, the water pressure is wonky and it's super hot or super cold, so I intentionally just wait till after he's done with the shower. So if he's running late, then that automatically throws me into being late, um, you know, or later than I would want to. But then sometimes I won't even take a shower till after he leaves. So I can get that intentional time with him in the mornings and it's really just like hey, what are you working on in school? It's the same questions every morning, but I am truly interested in what he's working on because he goes to votec and he's in in the building trades portion of it. So of course I'm very interested in what what he's doing and I had a conversation with his school teacher at our recent home show that we did last week.
Ty Cobb Backer:They set up a big, huge display. They build sheds, they sell them and stuff the votec rockets. Uh, class builds these, you know, sheds, and they sell them. And uh, before the show started, his, his teacher came over to me and wanted me to know, mind you, uh, rockets a sophomore, he's got two more years left and, um, he's like, I just, you know, I, rocket is my best student, the best student I've ever had. And literally this man had me choked up and he was like, but I, I want to tell you something. I said, okay, what is it? He said I, I push him, I challenged him and I'm like, please, please, challenge him. You know, um, like he needs, because he would get bored if he, if he didn't, because he is so smart he's, he's literally a no pun intended, but he could be a rocket scientist, he could be a doctor, he could be a lawyer.
Ty Cobb Backer:Like he's. He's that smart, you know, not just engineer smart, but like he. He he's so smart and can do whatever he wants and I'm not just saying that because he's my kid Like he's intimidatingly intelligent when, when you speak to him, he's just so smart the words he uses, he retains everything and is just a sponge.
Stephen Spence:So so if I can brag about my two kids, I think that's awesome that rocket's doing so well and I think that it's awesome that he's doing well in a trade school, right, like, at the end of the day, I think people I don't know, I'm curious what you think I think people are starting to understand like college isn't the end, all be all. It's not right. I so project map it. We brought Grayson Listman to your office. He's a 10th grader. My son's a 10th grader, like rocket, and you guys were mentors to Grayson, sat with them for like an hour and a half hour hour. You brought your marketing team in you.
Stephen Spence:Vic gave some good advice, john John gave some good advice. Like that's what it's about. Like this kid, he could probably go on and make six figures. It took me 20 years to come close to that as a teacher, since I was a teacher, and I would argue that teacher should challenge all his students, not just Rocket, which I'm sure he does. He's a good teacher. But yeah, I mean, I think the trades are a great way to go, but my kids, they're two different types of kids. My kid is super, super nice.
Stephen Spence:Like you asked, in our community, hey, steve Eli is literally the only like he is the nicest kid. He's one of the few, if the only, kid that walks by and says, hey, mr Matt, how are things going today? Like, how are you doing? Like he engages, right, like he's got that personality sort of like I do, where it just people. He's so good to people, right, cause he's genuinely a good guy. And then uh, but he's equally smart, right, like he's a very smart kid, uh, but he like in honors classes and all that. And then you got my, my daughter, who's more like my wife, who's super smart, sounds like a rocket, like atmosphere where she can be.
Stephen Spence:She does get bored in school because she's gotten straight a's her whole life. She's in eighth grade but, dude, ty, I was, I was in a car driving back from swimming the other day and she's like she's, she's been, she's wanted to be a lawyer for the last two years since like sixth grade, like go figure, sixth grader, and she, she's like, yeah, I was on chat, gbt, you know, checking out like great colleges for to become a lawyer and what you have to be, what you have to do become a lawyer. But college is near beaches and I found, like uc, santa barbara and all these other schools. She's like I don't mind, like going to school, you know across, you know the across the united states, I'm okay, like I'll meet new friends. It's just amazing kids these days.
Stephen Spence:My kids are opposite in that respect, eli, I think he'll want to go to a Division III school, maybe play lacrosse, maybe not, but be in a smaller setting where Dia's like I'll be in a big school near a beach and I'll become a lawyer. Okay, she's in eighth grade and studied already. Anyway, we have great kids. I think that's what we've learned from this.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, and when you were talking, I thought it's because you're such a great parent and and with your background of being, you know, a school teacher, you know you can read kids and and encourage them, and it's, it's encouraging to know that your kids are that optimistic and and what's the word I'm looking for? Um, not not afraid to step outside her comfort zone, right, and she's like I want to go to a big school and I want to become a lawyer. It has ambition. Okay, that was the word I was looking for. That is a good word. Yeah, ambition to to do big things like that, right, and that that is a mere reflection of of you and your wife and and with, like you said, with Eli, right, that outspoken, hey, Mr Thomas, you know how's it going, you know that that is also a mere reflection of you too, which also shows emotional intelligence, which tells me both of your children are very emotionally intelligent, that's more my wife.
Stephen Spence:I'm not very emotionally intelligent.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, no doubt you know what I mean. But that that's great. You guys are doing a good job. And and sometimes I think when we're stuck in the shit, right and, and because before we got on here you're talking about you know, you know there's anxieties, there's pressures. You got family, you got work-life balance, you got work. You got employees, you got, you know, co co-leaders, members, all that stuff, right, and. And I jotted down some questions, which I usually don't do, that but I know we can get pretty deep with each other and vulnerable and stuff. And it's funny that our conversation was a lot like the questions I have for you, and really they're just softball questions. And the first one that I wrote down was is what do you think some of the hardest decisions you have to make on a day-to-day basis?
Ty Cobb Backer:And it can be personal stuff, work, life, because it's all one sometimes.
Stephen Spence:So say it again what are my priorities?
Ty Cobb Backer:What are your hardest decisions? You have to make on a day-to-day basis. So, like when you show up to work and it may not even be day-to-day, but like on a weekly thing, there's like hard decisions that you have to make. You know, as an entrepreneur, as a father, right, Like and what, what, what would you say is the hardest one on a week to week basis?
Stephen Spence:Work is getting real busy, right Like it's becoming. You know we're gonna, we're hitting that stress test as you start to exponentially grow and we're finally starting to see the fruits of all of our employees. Hard, hard work. You know, ashley Pruella, pat, maddie Marcos they all work their asses off um do a good job. But we're starting to get lots of leads, right Like. We have some good relationships with ABC, srs, CertainTeed for sure we're an exclusive partner with them and so it's like, I guess, on a weekly basis it's how to improve our processes, like two different well, three, but sales were pretty locked in. That process is pretty good. But you know, when we onboard people, the goal right. You know you're working with LeadSc Scout in a big way now with you and Chris and, by the way, me and Chris shared a couple leads for each other. So that's good. So we're working together. But the process is on onboarding a customer, right, we're a pretty easy system to use, but there are certain things that require a customer for Project Map. It can't just come in and flip a switch. Now they're using Project Map, it's almost that easy, but we're not quite there yet. So it's trying to evolve our process where we can get 50 leads from SRS or ABC or CertainTeed and we'll be able to handle those leads. So processes on the onboarding side is a big one that we talk about on a weekly basis how to train our customers, because we always want to provide good customer service. So that's the biggest thing we're trying to do right now how can we scale with as few employees as possible by still maximizing perfect and great customer service for our customer.
Stephen Spence:And on the personal side it's tough. I think for me, my biggest challenge is handling my stress. To be totally honest with you, like I see a, I see a therapist every other week. I'm not afraid to to examine myself and to put that out there to everybody. I think it's, I think therapy is really good, for me at least. And like I internalize stress a lot and sometimes when I internalize it which I do all the time and something triggers me and pisses me off, I sometimes don't handle it the best way I should. My message might come across poorly, whether that's to my family members or my employees. So it's something I'm, on a daily basis, trying to get better at, to be honest with you. So, yeah, I mean that's. That's the biggest thing the difficult decisions on how to handle the current stress that's related to the scaling of our company as it's growing.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, yeah, you know, and that's that's the vision for the company, especially when you work in the company as hard as you do and I know you bust your ass Like I've. I've seen it firsthand and witnessed it. You know and you know the. The vision, you know, for me, you know, is is also trying to stay true to, to the vision of the company and and and making financial decisions and and, uh, when to hire people, when, when to fire people, because I'm guilty of, you know, leaving people around too long, and I've gotten better about, you know, the vetting process so that you know we're hiring better quality people. But coming up with that process to be able to do that, because being the visionary of the company, you know, and living up to that standard and personal development, right, like. So what my mantra has been, or my goal has been, is trying to be the best CEO possible for you know the revenue that we are and I don't want to mention the revenue necessarily, but, like I knew where we were last year and I know where we're going this year.
Ty Cobb Backer:So have I conditioned myself? Have I trained myself? Have I do? I have the the right tools, resources to be that kind of ceo. Yeah, you know what I mean. And I get stressed out and overwhelmed over things like that, like I'm not doing enough, I'm not smart enough, I don't have the right people around me, I haven't got vulnerable enough, I haven't been transparent enough and if I would have just opened up sooner, they'd help me with it, like all these crazy neurotic things that go through my mind on a day-to-day basis. Um, and it becomes harder and harder the more. The harder I am on myself, the harder it is to make clear, decisive decisions yeah you know, yeah
Ty Cobb Backer:um, and then I start beating myself up because I'm spending so much time at work, um, or even when I'm at home, I'm still at work, yeah, you know and learning how to shut that off. And then I get even more overwhelmed because I notice she knows that I'm thinking about work, because they know us, they know us so well, you know what I mean. So it's like this crazy, this crazy vicious cycle you know, know that we go through. So, speaking of vision, like so what, what? Uh, um, I was going to ask you what, what the vision of project map it was, but, but let's, let's, let's, let's, let's go past that.
Ty Cobb Backer:And, um, I want to ask you a question about clarity. Like when do you find you have the best clarity for making decisions? The vision for the future of project map? It is. It is it first thing in the morning, while you're still at home, before you get to work, at work, at the gym, hanging out with your family, or or on weekends, like, have you found that where you know, you know what I mean like when you've removed yourself? You need that time to to you know, clear some things up, gain clarity, make better decisions, um, so the answer is yes all of those times I honestly I do.
Stephen Spence:I do have my best clarity in the morning, when no one can bother me. So I was up at 1 am this morning, right, and I've literally put in aside from making breakfast and lunch and dinner, and dinner I have a tenderloin in the slow cooker right now. So that was about an hour, and then I took a shower for about 15 minutes, whatever that was. I've literally been working for the last 11 and a half hours minus about an hour, right Already, and people have not even put in a half a day. But from one to five o'clock, six o'clock, I, I got a lot done and, um, you know I was. We have some, we have some premier partners that we like to promote and we're trying to do a better job promoting them to help with lead sources on both way, going both ways, and so I did some stuff there. So, long story short, it is definitely in the morning. I know my employees aren't starting working until you know, pat, sometimes seven, eight o'clock, pearl ashley, not till 10, so I don't start getting slack messages and stuff for my team until you know eight, nine, ten, um, so if I can get an hour or two or three hours in, you know eight, nine, 10. So if I can get an hour or two or three hours in, you know around four o'clock.
Stephen Spence:My wife so, ty, we were talking about you know the wives, know my wife, I guess her kind of rule is if I'm going to get up early, it needs to be at least four, 30 or later, like if I get up at three 30, she does not like that. She knows I'm stressed out and she knows I'm going to be a. You know I'm not going to be like a good steve spence, like a premier husband. I'll be kind of like a c plus husband. So you know, sometimes I wake up at three time. I look at the clock and I'm like, damn, I'm gonna try to go back to sleep for another hour and a half and then once that 4 30 hits, I'm like I'm up, I'm in the office, right here, I'm working. Yeah, what about you? When is your best time?
Ty Cobb Backer:yeah, you know, and that's I'm asking personal questions, like personal for you and for me, because I I where I find things out a lot of times is by the questions that I ask our guests that come on the show and with us being as close as we are, I knew you wouldn't have an issue with me asking you these questions or even sharing, sharing my experience. But, um, you know, joseph hughes posted something I don't know a couple weeks ago, like something along the lines of like you need to have that, that, that shut off time, right. And you know I'm from the, the hustle grind culture. It it is what it is right, wrong or indifferent. Um, I believe you got to hustle your ass off, that's just if no one's going to give it to you, no one's coming to save us, and I was just telling janna that the other day, and sometimes you just got to push all the chips in and uh, unfortunately, janna's always been my ride or die. She knows and she's helped compliment me well over the years of of pulling me away from the edge. You know, like, yeah, you're getting a little too close to that and so when I can shut things off and I just got to experience it this past weekend. So, and and basically all I did was was had an atmospheric change where we have a location on the eastern shore and and uh, jan and I took a quick trip down there Thursday evening and, uh, I had, I went and did my my uh Thursday meetings, I had my Friday zoom calls, I did all that stuff. But just by me atmospherically changing right, geographically changing um, where I was, I could just, I don't know, like the pressure was off or like the meeting, my meetings were better, my creativity, my flow, my everything was better, and and a lot of it plays into, like, where we were on the Eastern shore, like we're on the Eastern shore, right, but I mean I could be. So I, I experienced it when I removed myself from, like that, every single day, 4, 30, 4, 30, 4, 30, 4 30 in the same office, same office, same office. It just becomes so redundant and it creates uh, where I can't see the forest through the trees, like the hedges are right here, and I just can't see. But sometimes, like when I go to a different, it could be in my truck and going for a drive and doing a zoom call, right, like I just feel like the juices start to flow.
Ty Cobb Backer:Um, sunday mornings. I love Sunday mornings, being at home. So when I travel I try to be home, for for the weekends I know it's all virtually impossible to do that, but I know if I have things coming up that following week it, to help me ease some of that pain, is to be at home, at my house Sunday mornings and I will write the best notes, I will have the clearest vision because again the pressure is off, I'm at home, I'm in my safe place, my sanctuary, and I kind of get up at my own pace. I drink a cup of coffee, I'll go into my office. I got a home office and, man, I can just jam out, because after that I know I'm going to work out and even when I'm working out I'm still jamming out, I'm still flowing Right. There's no distractions, there's no interruptions outside of the flow that I have set up for myself, and Jana is totally cool with it. She's just happy that I'm home, fortunately. You know what I mean.
Ty Cobb Backer:So if I spend an hour or two in the office and I'm flowing and I know when it's time to, kind of before it gets too late, I don't want to go into the gym until you know what I mean. I don't want to get there at like one o'clock Sunday afternoon because I also by one o'clockclock. I want to start winding down. That's my process. I want to start winding down because I've already prepared myself for the rest of the week and I find that if I prepare myself well on Sundays for the whole week I have my meetings all scheduled out. I'm preparing my notes because I try to give myself at least 15 minutes before you know, every meeting to prepare myself, but in hopes that I've already somewhat jotted some notes down preparing myself for that meeting. So it only takes about 15 minutes to get my head rewrapped around it.
Ty Cobb Backer:I've gotten better on stacking my meetings. So all my lead scout meetings that I have are usually stacked right, like if we're meeting with Eagle View, if I'm having, if I have a meeting with Chris, I try to stack them. We with the engineering team, chris and I, meet before that an hour. We review the product. Right after that we roll right into a meeting with the engineers and then after that might be some TC backer stacked meetings that I have. So by me preparing my schedule better and not having other people dictate my schedule, okay and I know this is kind of off topic but how I've been able to get myself prepared in those moments and carving out time to prepare myself, right. So it's like a four to one ratio. So if I have an hour meeting, I at least give myself 15 minutes before that hour meeting, based on the importance and severity of that meeting. It could be an hour that I need to prepare myself for an hour meeting, right? So I've come up with like the four to one ratio. So if it's just a run of the mill, weekly meeting, I give myself 15 minutes Plus. I try to prepare myself and jot notes down, knowing that that meeting is coming up next week in the gym and when I'm hanging out with rocket, rocket.
Ty Cobb Backer:And I both learned how to play golf this past year. I actually got back. I stopped golfing over a decade ago because of my family, but now I'm allowed to start golfing again because of my family. So I'm basically relearning how to play golf again and that has taken our relationship to a whole nother level. Okay, and and I, I got to express um, my, my, um, thinking and and um during golf. Yes, um, you know how much life experience and lessons are learned on a golf course, right, like where you just sometimes you get a mulligan and sometimes you got to take a stroke. You know the metaphor like you just got to keep driving right, you just got to keep chipping, and sometimes, sometimes you, you get a, you get an extra stroke. Sometimes you don't get an extra stroke and and uh, but anyhow.
Ty Cobb Backer:So I find, when I'm like with rocket hanging out, I also feel in those times, even though I am present, I am where my feet are, but I feel more creative because I've removed myself and have devoted my attention to him.
Ty Cobb Backer:Clarity, especially if something's bothering me or I need to be decisive and I need to have an answer or vision for the company. I tend to find them more often when I am where my feet are with my family, and it doesn't matter if it's on a Sunday, doesn't matter if I'm playing hooky and playing golf with rocket or if we're outside. We built this thing so we can golf pretty much all year round outside, though, um, and it's part of my workout regimen. So I'll go out, I'll put the Apple thing on my phone, tell it that I'm golfing and I'll swing the shit out of a golf club for half hour 40 minutes, sometimes daily, but just you know, working out has been a part, has become a part of my lifestyle. Today I spent a lot of time in our gym. I built a home gym and I work from there, I play from there, I get creative from there and that's a big part of my life.
Stephen Spence:Today I'm going to be honest with you. I appreciate you sharing that, and this is what I talk to my therapist about.
Ty Cobb Backer:One more thing Walking, walking outdoors. Walking the dog helps me for sure. Walking's big one. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.
Stephen Spence:Keep saying I just I, I do not do a good job taking care of myself. I'm going to be the first. I will openly say that in front of the millions of viewers of your podcast. But, uh, I, I think it all the time. I think it all the time. I always think like I'm going to write my journal every night, I'm going to email my children twice a week, I'm going to wake up and meditate three times a week and I do almost zero of it because I wake up and as I'm sleeping, I'm dreaming about project map it, or I'm.
Stephen Spence:I've actually had some really horrible dreams lately and I wake, like last night, that's one of the reasons why I woke up. At one, I made a God awful sound in the middle of the night. I mean, I remember the dream. It was not a good dream. I was like drowning in shit water. It was weird, the weirdest thing ever. And I, like, made a horrible sound and my dog, he sleeps in our bed. My wife, like you're, like, are you okay? And I couldn't go back to sleep.
Stephen Spence:Like, like I know right now I can be honest with you and tell you that I am not probably a very healthy person mentally. Like, and I like, but I'm not taking care of myself when I go to the gym in the morning. That is, that is a good sanctuary for me. It kind of sets my tone for my day. That is a good sanctuary for me. It kind of sets my tone for my day. I told Kim last night I was like I'm going to work, I haven't worked out in like a week I'm going to go to the gym at five o'clock, but then I woke up at one o'clock and I went straight to work at the computer and then it was five o'clock and I just kept going. I don't know, I need to. I appreciate you sharing what you shared. I need to figure it out.
Ty Cobb Backer:I need to figure it out yeah, I'm, and, believe me, I'm not perfect at it, but I put it on my schedule, on my calendar workout every day, seven days a week. Do I work out? Seven days a week? No, but no less than four days a week do I? Do I not work out just because I know I need that? And it might sound selfish, but if we're not eating right, we're not, we're not eating right, we're not, we're not eating. We can't feed others, we can't pour in, we can't be the best version of ourselves, right, if we're just stuck behind the computer nonstop in this. This is the paradox.
Stephen Spence:I'm not.
Ty Cobb Backer:The paradox is is that you'll probably be able. If you are taking care of yourself, you can do what you got to do in a short amount of time because physically, mentally, spiritually, you just feel better and you find that flow and your decision-making is is is better, it's more decisive, more quicker, more sharper, at least for me. And you know, and we, we, we are both at two different seasons of our lives. Right now too, you know what I mean. So I, I, might have a little more of a of an advantage, but honestly, I wish I would have started this a decade ago, you know. So if I can leave anybody with something is to take enough time mentally, spiritually, physically, for yourself, right, because if you're not now, we're just a martyr. Oh, I'm tired of work. I've been up since one o'clock and now I go home and my family gets the fumes. And again, I'm not.
Ty Cobb Backer:Last night I caught myself. We went out, jana and Rocket and I went out last night and there was just something that was gnawing at me and I had to make a phone call. I had to and I did it. We were in the middle of the store and I kind of just wandered off old tie. I wandered, because I pace when I'm on the phone. I pace back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. But I knew I wouldn't be where I was, where my feet were, If I didn't make this phone call. I couldn't wait a half hour, 40 minutes, an hour and a half, two hours Like I couldn't. I couldn't do it. I needed to walk away for 10 minutes or 15, whatever it was and and make this call and resolve something.
Ty Cobb Backer:It wasn't, anything wasn't completely urgent, but it it, it was. It was a follow-up conversation from a comment or an earlier conversation that I just needed to put to rest. There was some uncertainty and somebody needed clarity. For me, yeah, and and and at that moment and unfortunately, like I said, when I'm with my family is when I get the best clarity yeah, you know, and I just needed to make call. I did it and I came right back and I put my phone in my back pocket and from that time on till we got home, I was not on the phone at all, period, because I do, my family don't deserve the fumes, right, and they were going to get the fumes, the crumbs, if I didn't make that call. So sometimes there's a little sacrifice there that I had to make, that they made for me, and but I bounced right back, I fucking shrugged it off and it's like, okay, what are we doing? Where are we at? I had to go find them in the store.
Stephen Spence:Well, I appreciate you sharing that. It's helped me a little bit. Maybe I'll try to get back into it what other question you got. I'm curious, you never write questions.
Ty Cobb Backer:Oh yeah, I know right, okay, so the clarity piece was there. Um, okay, so this gets back into to anxiety. What do you think, what do you think gives you the most anxiety, and then how?
Stephen Spence:do you deal with it, man? That's, that's a loaded question for me. I so I am, um, I think I'm actually riddled with anxiety and it's happened in my older years. To be honest with you, like I'm 50 years old now and, um, I don't, you know people. If I tell any of my college friends or high school friends like, yeah, I'm a really anxious person, they'd be like bullshit, you are like, you are the life of the party. That's all you get. I could go real deep into my therapy on that Anxiety.
Stephen Spence:I don't like when people are not happy, I, I, I want, especially at work, I want the people at work to feel valued and stuff like that, and I know that sometimes I don't do a good job making them feel valued. I mean, I try, um, I think I'm pretty good, but I fail at times for sure. Um, we're a small family. We just had a conversation today actually with my team Like, yeah, we're like all like brothers and sisters, we all like get on each other's nerves. I mean we're, we're only like six strong, um, anxious anxiety. Uh, I'm, I'm a, I'm a workaholic and I, I get anxious when I feel like I'm not pulling my weight Right, like if something is not right in the project map at world. That makes me very anxious. Right, like trying to build out this training program. I've got about 400 more customers that I have well, probably 300 now 350 more customers. I got to put all the financials in our CRM, so the CRM is talking to me the right way, so I can get my KPIs to tell me revenue stream and commissions and all that stuff, and so it's not done and it's like overwhelming, I don't have the time to do everything and that makes me really anxious. I can't wait for a day where we have our systems locked in, where I can just do my job and not stress over like the sales process or the onboarding process or the financials and the CRM up to speed and stuff like that. So I think the short answer is yeah.
Stephen Spence:I think the biggest thing is like when I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job as a leader or I feel like the company is not succeeding as well as it could I. That makes me very anxious. On the personal side of things, my wife is my rock. I'm going to be honest with you. She is like I know Jana is your rock and she is amazing for you. My wife is able to recognize before anybody that I'm hey, steve, you're starting to get anxious or you're starting to get stressed. I can tell I need you to stop. I need you to lock it in and come hang out with me and the kids stop. I need you to lock it in and come hang out with me and the kids. So anxiety with the children and my wife are not it's. I don't think I'm anxious there. It's all work related. To be honest with you, I think yeah, yeah, same.
Ty Cobb Backer:It all stems from work, like my family doesn't stress me whatsoever. You know what I mean. It's not. I may take it out on them at times and that that's getting back into. They just get the fumes of me and it's you know. The thing that sucks about that is that we hurt those that are closest to us most and it has nothing to do with them 97% of the time. Right, you know, but I find when I'm taking care of myself, you know, I, I can accept more things. I, I'm more empathetic, I am um more understanding too, and more patient with my family. When I'm, when I'm taking care of myself mentally, physically and spiritually, and, um, you know, until you find that, um, that rhythm and those new habits that you want to develop, and maybe some of those old develops those old habits that you want to develop, and maybe some of those old develops those old habits that you want to unspring, right, because we, we tend to start and we think we're doing the right thing right by just working, working, working, working, working and listening to you talk right now. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing, that's just what you do, that's what we've all done.
Ty Cobb Backer:But my mom had said something to me right before she had passed and she's first and foremost. She said life's too short, ty, of course I mean that is very profound, but not as, not as deep as as it was in that moment, right Cause she was, she was dying of cancer. And then the second thing she said to me was is that you need help? Yeah, you need to find some help. Now I, mentally and physically, I needed help and, uh, I think I had. I was 90 pounds, 80 pounds heavier than than I am right now. Right, this goes back.
Ty Cobb Backer:So Jan and I went on a journey, probably I think this year this past February 11th was 10 years since she's passed and I kind of just this year was a little easier than most years. I stayed over inundated with some other stuff, work, stuff, but we went on a journey and there's been ebbs and flows of me trying to take care of myself, going up 20 pounds and I've came back down, but I've never gone back up to 209 pounds and a lot of that was stress induced, that was, was just eating like shit, not eating at all, and then going home and got gorging myself and and all just the most horrible things and it's like to a point you start to realize after you step back for a minute, you realize how selfish and self-centered of me for not taking care of myself. Because at the end of the day, ultimately I'm saying I'm doing all of this for my family. So literally I'm now I'm killing myself, I'm eating like shit, I'm doing smoking cigarettes, I'm drinking five cups of coffee a day, I'm drinking 12 Red Bulls. I'm doing all these things right so I can stay motivated for you. I'm doing this for you, but selfishly I'm I'm killing myself. So then I won't be here as long as I should be on this earth to spend as much time as I possibly can with you. Because when you are on your deathbed, none of this horseshit is going to matter.
Ty Cobb Backer:What is going to be running through your mind is is that I should have spent more time with my wife. I should have spent more time with my kids. Right, that's what goes through your mind. I'm sure that's what went through my mom's head. She didn't tell me that, but I can only imagine when she said to me she was already having those thoughts sitting in that Texas roadhouse or whatever Logan's or whatever up in Mechanicsburg. There I know for a fact. Her life was flashing before her eyes and her regrets was life is too short and I needed help Right when that came from was is. I would imagine that she was regretting not spending enough down. Now, fortunately, she lived with us for the last four years of her life and she got to spend as much time. She saw me sober Jan and I were both sober, so it was the best years of our lives right with her, and I have.
Ty Cobb Backer:I did have some guilt and regret and I should have did more blah, blah, blah, but looking back now, nine, 10, 10 years later, I don't have any regrets with her. With my mom, I was there when she needed me the most and, um, yet didn't. Thank God for Jana, because Jana was really the one that was there for her 24 seven, um, and I did need to take care of the household and, by the way that I did that was is that I went to work Right and but um, and that was, uh. I needed to go through that pain and experience that pain to realize what was really important, and it wasn't always work. Most of that is me taking care of myself, right, so I'm here as long as I possibly can be and get done as much as I can when I'm at work and that allowed time that I'm giving myself on my calendar by four o'clock.
Ty Cobb Backer:I have a reminder on my calendar. It says workout. That means I know that I need to be home by five o'clock If I attend, if I plan on attending, a meeting at seven o'clock that I need to be. I need to leave the office by five o'clock. Get home, hugs and kisses, feed the dogs cookies, put my workout attire on, go downstairs, get a good hour hour and a half in, come upstairs, take a shower and head to a meeting.
Ty Cobb Backer:Right, because that's what I need to do for myself mentally and spiritually is that I have to find that balance of how many meetings a week that I need to go to, how many times I need to go to the gym, and this is a schedule that I that is literally on my calendar to take care of myself. It's a long day because think about it this way we have 16 hours in a day, eight out of the 24 out of. Right? You got eight hours to rest, you got 16 hours, and what are you going to do in those 16 hours right To, to work and take care of yourself and be with your family, because you're going to have to go to bed at some point in time.
Stephen Spence:Well, I appreciate you sharing all of that. I know one commonality that we both have are amazing spouses, right, like our guy. Our guy, keith overmeyer, just said something on the chat and I know his wife works with him and is an amazing wife to keith as well. Keith is an amazing dude. Love, love you, keith. By the way, talk about another brother. Like that guy's amazing.
Stephen Spence:But yeah, I was thinking the same thing, zach fisher. Eight hours is wishful thinking, but I do. I need to get back to that work life. I need to get back to the, the family balance. I really do, man, I didn't.
Stephen Spence:I think this was going to be a therapy session for me. I will say this about my anxiety. You know the we're a small work related, we're a small family, but I mean, talk about a ride or die, like those guys, those ladies and gentlemen that work at Project Map it. They don't give me anxiety really, because I know that they're doing their job the right way. I can trust them. I told him I was like I was for this call. I'm like I've been up since one. I'm, I'm exhausted. And Pearl was like, yeah, you look tired and I'm like I am. And and they said, look, you put in a full day when the podcast is over. Go to go get some rest so you can be with your family later. And I know that that's fine because I know that the I know project map it's in good hands when I'm not around.
Stephen Spence:I just went to Oaxaca, mexico, with my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law, so that was fun. So we were there for three days this weekend. I will say ty, we are going, we drive to massanutten ski resort with my father. I meet my brother up there and his wife and my father and mother-in-law. So that's gonna be kind of cool. Maybe I'll, maybe I'll try to. Maybe I won't bring my computer, I don't know. I don't know if that's possible, but I do. I just need to be intentional this weekend. So maybe, maybe I'll keep the computer home, you know there you go I mean you
Ty Cobb Backer:don't have to. You know what I'm saying. I'm sure you can carve out some time that you can sneak off and flop open. That way Monday morning is not so stressful. So last question here before we get off what gives you the most satisfaction?
Stephen Spence:Seeing my kids succeed and being around my wife you know I'm not the I'm not a perfect man. I've I've made poor decisions, car accidents and stuff like that Um, so like for me, uh, I mean, if I'm going to be honest, my, my wife, seeing her every night and talking to her is is, is my, is my everything. Um, and seeing my kids be so successful and be good kids, like you mentioned, you got me fucking crying up in here, ty, I'm like tearing up dude, I hate you. Um, that's my, that is my true satisfaction, that is my genuine satisfaction. Um, seeing project map it start to take off and hopefully, like literally, we're, I think we're, we're, we're about to like exponentially grow. Like you know, you keep every year you say it, you're like, oh, this is our year, this is our year, and it fucking doesn't happen.
Stephen Spence:Like I really feel like, with great relationships, with the big partnerships that we have, I just I feel very, feel, very grateful to be a company that's look, I don't, I don't care, I'll say we're like a million dollar company right now. You know what I mean. Hopefully at the end of the year we'll be a $2 million company or whatever. But but to have companies like CertainTeed I'll speak to personally because they are family to me, like I truly have great relationships with individuals in that company. They gave us a chance five years ago.
Stephen Spence:Certainty, I mean, we have a hundred customers. So I'm very, very grateful and have huge love and satisfaction whenever I talk about that company, a hundred percent. And then, like SRS has been amazing to us, abc has been amazing to us, and to just think, like little old project map, little old project map, it like being asked to be a partner of some of these huge companies and when they talk to you they say it's because of your employees. You know like we love your employees, you are good people and I, you know I give a huge, huge credit to Pearl, ashley, pat, that present at SRS, abc, certainty Events and inform those relationships. So I don't know, but satisfaction, if you're going to ask me straight up, it is my family, right?
Ty Cobb Backer:on, and that's that's what makes you wealthy and that's what makes you successful, is the relationship that you have with your family and and how you talk about your kids and as smart as is, as emotionally and as intelligent as they are, and the relationship that you have with your wife is what makes you one of the most successful people that I know. Steven, I just want you to know that and sometimes I think we forget. I think we forget why we even started to kill ourselves, right, and the whole point of it was was to provide for our families, right, and and I'm not saying there's always a time and a place, dude, and you know, if this is, if this is the year, right, that means head down and keep pushing and keep pushing and keep pushing. But somewhere in that 16 hours and I'm saying that other eight hours, when I say rest, that could simply be sitting on the couch with your wife watching a Netflix movie in that eight hours. Right, if you can break it out into three eight hours and divide that up and slice that up. However, you need to slice that up, whether it's four hour increments, two hour increments, one hour increments, however, you got to look at it. But if you can look at it that way, and how I rest and spend time with my family and it could be golfing out in the net thingy that, um, the simulator that that rocket and I built. Right, that's me resting, me working out, that's how I unwind and rest.
Ty Cobb Backer:Some people sit on their ass, smoke cigars and get cheeto dust in their fucking belly buttons. I just choose not to do that. It it's not how I rest. You know what I mean. I rest differently than most people do because I'm not a sit-around kind of guy. Now I will. I do chill, don't get me wrong. But the one thing that I look forward to every single night, janet and I have a slumber party. Every single night we will chill in bed. You know what I mean. We'll get a snack, whatever it is. We'll turn a movie on Sometimes it's the news for a couple minutes, but then we'll turn a movie on and then we'll fall asleep. One of us turn TV out and we go to sleep. But that's our intentional time. That's where I need to make sure that I'm there right. I got my workout in and I'm the.
Ty Cobb Backer:I'm an afternoon worker outer. I, if I worked out in the morning, I just don't I? I've tried it. It seems like it takes more energy from me than it gives me. And I seem like when I work out in, you know, the, the afternoon, early evening, it gives me more energy to to put in second shift. You know what I mean, cause second shift is usually after I leave work.
Ty Cobb Backer:Now it's second shift. That means that I go to a meeting, I spend time with Rocket, I spend time with Jana you know what I mean Because I'm not getting to bed till at least 10, 30, 11 o'clock at night, so I have a whole nother shift after I leave here. So I go home, I work out. It gives me that extra boost at the end of the day, plus that's kind of I do intermittent fasting. So after I work out then I eat. That's good Kind of how I've designed it for now, and that's just the season that I'm in right now. I love it. But yeah, that's it. Man, I miss you. I can't wait to see you up here next week. I did tell Brian Good. Brian Good actually had a question last week for you. He wants to know if we can get project map it in our South Carolina location up to date, or something like that. So I told him you would be here to help him with that figure out how to how to. He can do it, or you do it, or whoever does it.
Stephen Spence:I'll come up early. Meet up with Brian. Good, and we'll talk through it.
Ty Cobb Backer:Cool, cool he's. He's actually down in Bluffton. Yeah, he'll be. Yeah, he'll be here Tuesday. He will be, he's coming back. Yeah, yeah, yep, he'll be back, we'll chat.
Stephen Spence:I'll talk to Brian. We'll get you guys hooked up.
Ty Cobb Backer:Cool, cool. So I can't wait. I'm actually thrilled. I'm excited to see you. Yeah, and thank you for being such a good friend, stephen. Thank you.
Stephen Spence:Appreciate this therapy session, this hour long therapy session. I'll send you the check or I'll just do. You guys take credit card when I get there on Tuesday. Yeah, we take Venmo, I don't do Venmo.
Ty Cobb Backer:Sorry, this session's free, always, always free for you. Buddy, I love you. All right, brother, love you too. Man, thanks for having me. Yep, you too. Thank you everybody for for joining us. If you think you got something out of this, please share it with somebody that you may think may get something out of this. If you haven't liked, loved, subscribed, shared, please do that for us until next week. Take care of each other, and thank you for always supporting behind the tool belt. Thank you, have a good day.
