Behind the Toolbelt

The Art of Letting Go: From Control Freak to Kingdom Builder

Ty Backer Season 5 Episode 296

Send us a text

Ty Cobb Backer plunges into the essence of true leadership, emphasizing that your leadership quality directly reflects what you tolerate and how consistently you embody your principles. Personal growth and self-mastery must precede any attempt to lead others effectively.

• Leadership begins with self-awareness and personal development
• Your true character emerges in how you respond to challenges, not the challenges themselves
• Great leaders remain students, continuously learning and sharing knowledge
• Leadership isn't about you, it's about serving others and creating opportunities
• Don't yell from the mountaintop, come down and walk alongside your team
• Learn people's "love languages" to understand how they best receive recognition
• Practice "kind candor". Being truthful while maintaining compassion
• Your legacy lives through the people you develop, not the titles you hold
• Leadership is learned through experience, not innate talent
• Give credit for successes and take responsibility for failures
• Celebrate wins publicly and often
• You don't need to control everything. Empower others to lead

Join us next week for another raw, unfiltered conversation about leadership, culture, and legacy on Behind the Tool Belt.


To watch or listen to your favorite episodes of Behind The ToolBelt, Brick By Brick plus much more content, go to our YouTube Channel and subscribe.

We are streaming on all major Podcast Platforms

https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id171271486

1https://open.spotify.com/show/3sNj9u1DaJTSqk88ZWkBns?si=94538ab990df48cf

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-behind-the-toolbelt-271027110/

You can find us on Facebook and instagram

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWoTMarRV_h-gKZErp7KQAw/

https://www.instagram.com/tcbacker/

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=991937949647176&set=a.409382311236079&__tn__=%3C

Ty Cobb Backer:

And we are live. Welcome back everybody to Behind the Tool Belt, episode 296. I am your host, ty Cobb-Backer. Thank you for joining us on this Wednesday edition. We will be back after our short intro from our sponsors.

Speaker 2:

solar roofing, tiling, windows, gutter, solar welcome to behind the tool belt, where the stories are bold, the conversations are real and the insights come to you live, raw and uncut. Every week, ty Cobb-Backer sits down to bring you the stories, the struggles, the lessons learned and the wins. No filters, no scripts, just the truth. Please welcome your host of Behind the Tool Belt, ty Cobb-Backer.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back everybody to Behind the Tool Belt, the podcast where we just don't talk construction, we talk leadership, culture, legacy, and I am your host, ty Becker, ceo, chief Energy Officer and believer that the job gets done right when people are led right. So today, like every week, we're digging into something close to my heart what it really means to lead people, not just manage them, not just boss them around, but lead, serve and build and elevate others to take your place someday. This one's for leaders, the up and comers and anyone who wants to leave something better than the way they found it. So let's jump in, I think. Ah, leadership, I mean, I know we talk about this every week, you know, but your leadership is only as good as what you tolerate, and we talk about that a lot, and I think we just kind of scratched the surface.

Ty Cobb Backer:

And in this episode here I really kind of want to. I want to dig, dig in a little deeper, unpack a few things of some of the little catchphrases that you might hear me say or some other, you know, inspires or whatever books you're reading and stuff like that, and quite, quite frankly and I was talking to Vic about this earlier you know, half of this stuff that that I'm spewing on this podcast is is things that I've heard. You know, I've read, I've listened to, I've watched, I got to experience, I've I've I've got to uh, learn from and and I'm going to talk a little bit about that too Um, you know, learning and teaching and things like that. But but I also have the opportunity to throw my experience and and my my little spin on things on how I interpret certain things. May not be the the the same exact way as other people may interpret stuff, but you know, and it and it's so crazy too, because it's like I'll read something several different times and it may mean something to me one time, but then I read it again or be like hey, I didn't know that was in there the last time I read it, like when did they put that in there? Or I'm in a different season of my life where it kind of like like I get to put it to use differently, like I didn't really know I could use it that way or it was actually meant to be used in that way. So, again, a lot of this stuff is just stuff that I've regurgitated over the years, but I also want to get a little more granular with it and stuff like that.

Ty Cobb Backer:

So, anyhow, your leadership is only as good as what you tolerate. And if we allow laziness, negative negativity, drama, that's, that's what your culture becomes. And, as a leader, we set the tone. If you want excellence, demand it. If you want accountability, hold people to it. If you don't, oh, if you don't want to, you know, have to carry the load and do everything yourself, because I've led that way too, where, just get out of my way, talking to Vic and had a meeting yesterday about explaining to people why we're asking them to go do something. So if I don't want to have to just do everything myself, I can't be harsh about it, right, if I'm going to hold them accountable and we're striving for, you know, not necessarily excellence, but progress rather than perfection, I can't be harsh about it, I can't be a dick about it, but, but, but the biggest thing is is that I got to be clear, right, I got to make, I got to articulate the message, the vision. I have to be clear about that.

Ty Cobb Backer:

And here's the thing Leadership starts with me, leadership starts with you. Put in the work, develop yourself right, then you'll be able to develop others. It's just like anything else, right? If I wasn't, if a baseball coach wasn't good at baseball, he probably shouldn't be coaching. Now, I'm not saying all great baseball players are good coaches either. It takes a certain skill set and a certain mind and patience and tolerance to to be, you know, a good coach, a good teacher, a good mentor, a good steward of of people. And I know, I know firsthand it is not, it's not, it's not easy, and when somebody talks about you know, put in the work and develop yourself. And it's like a lot of that stuff is. I got to practice patience, I got to practice tolerance and really work for me.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Where that starts? That starts at home. That starts with me. It starts with how I treat my family. It starts with how I treat my neighbors. It starts with how I'm treating the person in line at the grocery store in front of me. Am I, am I being an impatient, raving, lunatic with the old couple that I'm following on a Sunday afternoon, trying to cut in front of them? And I'm beeping the horn, I'm flashing my headlights and it's like get out of the way. And it's like, really I'm not going to get there that much earlier.

Ty Cobb Backer:

But I didn't realize I was that person until I saw it in somebody else. I was like, oh man, that was uncomfortable. Right, I'm sitting in the passenger seat, you know, I'm co-piloting, I'm watching this person experience road rage and I'm like, damn, do I look like that man? That was ugly. Quite frankly, it was embarrassing. You know what I mean. So it's kind of like wow, I led my whole entire life that way. I led our team that way, I led my family that way and I thought I thought it meant something, I thought that control. I thought it gave me control, I thought it gave me power because my dick was bigger than everybody else in the room and I was going to show everybody right. Well then you feel about two inches tall.

Ty Cobb Backer:

About five minutes later, at least for me, I have a conscience and I feel like shit. And then, because I feel like shit half of it is because I know I own amends. Man, I am so sick and tired of apologizing for my behavior and the way that I acted and responded to people and made so many situations so far worse than they had to be. Right If and I was, we were just talking about this before the show right If I would have handled myself, because this is the thing. It's not the circumstances or the event that defines the person. It's your response to it and your true colors come out. Your true colors will come out.

Ty Cobb Backer:

If I panicked and hit the panic button every time the house caught on fire, dude, nobody would want to follow me. Think about that for a minute. Does anybody want to follow somebody that's out of control, that's neurotic, that suffers from neurosis? And, trust me, I suffer from all these things fear, paranoia, which is hidden awareness but you got to know how to use them and it's taken me a lifetime I don't mean a lifetime to harness those energies, because that's what they are. They're energies, okay. They're not bad, it's not. It's it's motivators, it's indicators, it's it's your body telling you something is wrong.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Okay, that doesn't mean I have to act out. It doesn't mean, because I had a long night and I didn't sleep well, that I have to come home, even though, or come to work and everything is going great. But then I treat everybody like shit, okay, and take the wind out of their sails. Everything that I'm preaching on this podcast, everything I just told them yesterday, goes out the window. Your trust bank starts to deplete. And we've talked about the trust bank before here. Okay, build that trust bank up, because sometimes you will have to take a withdrawal from that trust bank. But you got to build that trust up, you got to stay consistent. People need to know what they're walking into Right, and I and I I do.

Ty Cobb Backer:

I do know for a fact that I say that I have an open door policy, but I can guarantee you, my nephew had to break some bad news to me today. I'm pretty sure he was probably scared because he had brought somebody with him, right In case I threw something or whatever. But but, mind you, this is my nephew, who's known me for 49 years. Okay, he's worked beside me, he's worked in front of me, he's worked behind me, he's worked for me. Okay, so he, he knows the good, bad and the ugly. So if anybody should feel probably a little insecure about coming and knocking on my door, would be that man. God bless his soul. But he still loves me, he still comes here and I think he's seen the development in me. Um, and matter of fact, I know he he's, he's commended me for for my efforts, um, in in the growth, in the growth, in the leaps and bounds and I hope that I can. I can be, uh, an example um for him on how to lead his household and his department and all the good, great things that he does for us here at TC Backer Construction. But anyway, you got to put the work in man Right, and that's what I mean.

Ty Cobb Backer:

You got to be aware it's almost like self-mastery what makes you tick, what pisses you off. And it's like Vic and I were talking earlier. It's like we have moments at times. So it's like the first question we got to ask ourselves have I been stuffing? Because when there's something wrong, there's something wrong with you. If something is bothering you about somebody else, it's because there's something wrong with you, not necessarily because of them, because you can remove yourself from that situation. You really can. You can walk away, you can go for a walk, you can go for a bike ride, you can do whatever, take 10 deep breaths, whatever the case might be, because there's a situation where you may make it worse than it needs to be and blow it all out of proportion. So you can't expect your team to grow if you're not growing. You can't pour into people from an empty cup.

Ty Cobb Backer:

I guess is what I'm trying to say you got to, you got to read, you got to learn, you got to stay humble and you got to remain teachable. Got to remain teachable, especially with yourself, your self behaviors, and be the wise man and learn from others. Right, isn't that what they say? I think a smart man learns from his own mistakes, but, but a wise man learns from others mistakes. You know, it's taken me a lifetime to watch other people, okay, because I can't identify my own shortcomings and character defects and all that stuff. I have to actually see it in somebody else and half the time I don't like that person. Right, it's like I can't put my finger on why I just don't like that dude, I don't like that chick over there. At the end of the fucking day, it's because I see myself in them, so I don't trust them. Oh, maybe I don't trust myself. Why? Why is that? I don't know. I better look into that. We might have to have a conversation about that after this. We could probably turn that into a whole freaking podcast right there by itself.

Ty Cobb Backer:

But remain a student, right? What you have been taught, pass it on. Knowledge is only powerful when it is shared. And this the next part, right? This is big. Right, this is big. It's not about you. None of this is about you.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Unfortunately, kids out there that want to be a self-serving, self-preserving, self-righteous person. Unfortunately, kid, I'm going to pop the fucking balloon right now and let the wind out of your sails. It's not about you, it's about them. It's about every Tom, dick and Harry. Aunt, uncle, brother, sister, mother, brother, father-in-law doesn't matter. We were put on this earth to serve and I'm not a Bible bumper.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Unfortunately, I've taken, I've lied, I've came to you an alcoholic, a drunk, a no good, and today I come to you as a father, a grandfather and, hopefully, a trusted significant other. Okay, so I've been through the ringer, I've put myself through the ringer and I have put everybody. I've hurt those that I love dearly the most over the years. So, trust me, I am not a saint. I'm not sitting here on my soapbox right now dribbling my lip, saying how great I am because there go I. The next thing I know, we'll turn the cameras off, I'll go into my office, somebody will come in and they'll piss me off and I'll act out.

Ty Cobb Backer:

I got to learn from that. What? What set me off? What's going on? What am I not taking care of what am I stuffing? What am I stuffing, right?

Ty Cobb Backer:

So we, we got to um, it's not about getting attention, and I think, I think that's that's what a lot of us attention getters want to be the man, want to be the big man. Right, I'm the boss, I'm the boss, right. And then then they put a nice, pretty little shiny bow on it and call themselves a leader. You know, and I've done it, I've done it, I've done it so much, but it's about the opportunities you create. Okay, it's not about what you gain, it's about what you give. Okay, I'm going to say that again, it's not about what you gain, it's nothing to do with what I'm going to gain, it. Things just tend to happen tenfold when you give, you got to give it, you got to give it away to keep it.

Ty Cobb Backer:

And we've a lot of us, a few of us, I'm sure, some of us that are watching this right now. I think my prednisone's kicked in. Anyhow, now here's something, something that we miss sometimes. Right, we got to find out where they are on their journey. Okay, sometimes you got to get down off your soapbox, sometimes you got to climb down off that mountaintop and you got to know your people. You got to talk to them. You got to know your children, right. You got to talk to them, got to learn their goals. Don't stand on the mountaintop yelling for them to climb on up here. Get up here or you can't. You can't drag them up either. No one that's willing. You can't drag them right. Come down off your mountaintop, walk. Walk with them. If they're willing to meet you halfway, okay, walk with them, be a guide.

Ty Cobb Backer:

A guide doesn't walk the journey for them. Okay, we don't walk the journey for them. If there's people that you can surround yourself with that are willing to meet or exceed the distance between where you want them to go, then they're the ones. And Vic is a prime example, chris Baker, glenn, the list goes on Sam. There's so many beautiful, wonderful people Fortunate, very fortunate, to be a guide for these people, a guide that hasn't did the work for them, a guide that simply just guided and walked with them on this journey. Right, because every day we're on a journey. Right, but they don't leave them lost either. I can't leave them lost, right? I got to lead with direction. I got to have direction. I got to have my house in order to do this.

Ty Cobb Backer:

We lead with care and remember we can show people where to look, but we can't always show them what to see, right. We got to give them perspective, but we got to let them grow, grow on their own and understand on their own. It's just like when I read something like I just mentioned earlier. It's like I'll read something and the way that my perspective, the way that I perceived it at that moment okay, may not be really the intentions of the writer or the the content creator, but if I listened to it long enough and if it strikes my interest, I usually get something out of it, something different each time. I read it, right? But? But I got to give. I got to give people perspective, okay, but I got to let them grow and own their own understanding of things, just like I have. I've been given that and as we are doing this right, we are giving our team something to own, okay, giving them something to take pride in a challenge, a responsibility, a big task, letting them take the lead, asking for their input, watch them rise to the occasion and when they do, show them that they crushed it, don't say it. Show them. You got to show people right. I'm not saying a text message that you did a great job isn't sufficient for some people. But I guess that's where who was that author. Gary wrote a book called Love Language. Gary and I know Jana knows it we actually got to sit in on one of his things, and then this is where I learned some of this from is that you got to learn people's telltales. Okay, you got to learn their love language.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Some people need need public notoriety and a pat on the ass every 2.3 seconds, and sometimes that can be very draining and very tiring. But as long as you know about that person, you just got to make sure you circle back every now and then. But then other people don't like that public exposure. They like the more behind closed doors and not money. Money motivated. It's not always about the amount of money or or threatening to take money or or um rewarding with money all the time, Especially if you've articulated the message well enough to like. You know. If we all can grow in the same direction at some point in time we will all be lucrative. So it's not always about the money, but make sure you're challenging people, make sure you're giving them enough responsibility, make sure you're giving them charge of huge tasks right and giving them the ownership in that and allowing room for mistakes.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Because, listen, the first half of what I've just talked about was learning from my own mistakes but, most importantly, trying to learn from other people's mistakes. Once I see my character, defects and shortcomings in other people and I'm not saying that's the right way, that's probably the wrong way to do it. The best way to do it is is realize that you're doing wrong. You're saying the wrong thing, you're doing the wrong thing, and I heard something the other day I think it was Warren Buffett wrong thing. And I heard something the other day, I think it was Warren Buffett. Warren Buffett said if you wanted to increase I don't know how he put it, it wasn't necessarily wealth, but if you want it to be successful, you need to.

Ty Cobb Backer:

50% of your success comes from learning how to articulate your message and learning how to speak to get what you want right, to get your message across to people. If you want to be 50% more successful and I'm going to sum it up that way I'm sure I fricking butchered it up, but essentially and I've, I've, I've once I've heard that I don't know where I read it Should probably find that someplace and read it again. But once I've learned that I realized how many times I shit the bed because I didn't respond with, with the with, with a good response. I didn't have the right words to put together or I didn't give myself enough time to think about it to give it a response. And I've also done where I have responded too quickly and did the old knee jerk reaction and and articulated the wrong message that I should have handled it completely differently and lost big deals and stuff like that and not looking at the big picture and creating a partnership and a long-term relationship and not taking it on the chin either. I've, I've, I've really screwed up those things. But, um, but getting back to you know, empowering people, we need to provide the tools. Okay, providing the tools for their success Isn't about control, it's about empowerment.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Okay, let go of the need to manage every step. And I think I've done pretty good with a lot of that over the years, because I and I've gone to the extreme, to where I've completely let go of the wheel, um, and never followed back up. I've never um critiqued or or just kind of like. I don't remember what the opposite of, of um delegating is. But you know, I've delegated, but then I've never came back to it is. But you know I've delegated but then I've never came back to it. But then, or let's say, I came back to it a long time later and found out like it wasn't done to my liking after it was already completed and acted like a complete butthead over that. But, um, I think I think over the years of of being control freaking and trust me, just scratch the surface and it'll veer its ugly head at any given time. But giving up control is has been a hard one for me over the years and not trying to control the outcomes right and learning this is another one. Another good one is is figuring out the controllables over the non-controllables and knowing the wisdom, the wisdom. Having figuring out the wisdom to know the difference Okay, that that is something I pray for.

Ty Cobb Backer:

I pray for that the strength, the courage, the motivation, the clarity, the insight and the wisdom to know the difference. Can I control this outcome? Can I control the situation? Is this a time where I need to step in or is this the time where I just need to kind of let things unfold and the outcome will be what the outcome is? But I can tell you nine chance out of 10, it's because of a decision, or a decision I didn't make a while back is probably why I'm in the situation that I'm in right now.

Ty Cobb Backer:

So there's a lot of times where it's like, okay, I need to get off my dead ass, and this is a thing. If I'm in a position or situation that I don't like I, then I need to get off my dead ass and do something about it. But, anyhow, the control thing, you know, not feeling the need to be in control is is a sign of, you know, maturity, I think and we talked about that last week with Deshaun, I think that was last week but the maturity in our leadership, right, but we can't forget this, right, people do what they see. Okay, you can't just say the right things, you have to live them. Okay, be the model of consistency, work, ethic and humility. Be a leader and a great teacher. That means being patient, okay, correcting with care, encouraging.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Often One of our jobs as leaders is to groom others to become better leaders, and I'm going to give you an example. And again, unfortunately, vic, I'm picking on you a lot here. Okay, we're revamping, we're revamping some, some marketing efforts. We're we're trying some different outlets. And big shout out to David Bruno. I see, I see that, uh, he's, he's in here, man. Big shout out to David. I miss you, buddy, but uh, so he was here yesterday. But so, vic myself, john, we meet weekly Um and uh, we discuss, we try to stay out in front of you know what's working, what's not working when it comes to advertising. You know, internally, externally, marketing the brand is the brand getting out? There are enough people carrying the message right, not just us, not just me, not me screaming from the rooftops woo, tc backer, let's go right, even though I like to do that. But it's better when it comes from somebody else.

Ty Cobb Backer:

So, long story short, vic killing himself, super excited about this 32nd commercial that he did, and years ago I would have probably just mostly encouraged, like man, it's great, let's go with it. But I chose to kill him with kind candor and knowing Vic as well as I do. He was, he was gonna, you know, and again, me practicing with Vic. Vic is a lot of times my test dummy to practice some of my character defect corrections and you know shortcoming, you know corrections that I try to make and I bounce a lot of. You know Vic, vic is the man. So I said to him I said, dude, we're, this is what everyone else is doing. And I didn't say that because I knew that would get his goat and he knows we're much more than what everyone else is doing. But it was, it was I knew when I said that he would pick up what I was putting down and I knew I had to articulate the message in a way where he knew it was coming from the heart, that I know that he's got more in him and if I pushed him in the right direction he would be able to overcome the status quo. Okay, and then we had. We followed up.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Long story short, that conversation went great. He was picking up what I was putting down. I saw his eyes light up. I saw the light bulb above his head. I saw the halo appear and the angel wings pop out of his back, not just because he's slamming Red Bulls, but he was ready to kick ass and take names. So today we followed back up on that and all I had to do was just plant a couple of little seeds. He watered them. I didn't even have to, because fortunately, I've been gracious or blessed enough to have Vic in my life and he comes back and he's got this most radical idea ever. That just blew my freaking mind, okay, like he, literally he took what I had asked, right and suggested and and has just run with it and it's. It's going to be amazing.

Ty Cobb Backer:

It really is, um, but without the right tools, without the right resources, without the empowerment and without me being scared and and confident in my own abilities to be able to let him know that I felt like he had more in him, right, and I think that's where, a lot of times, we get hemmed up because we're we're worried about people's short term emotions over our long-term goals. Okay, hi, so, yeah, I'm still here, right, okay, good, anyhow, that was. I think that for both of us and because of us being able to take I don't even want to call it constructive criticism, because that's not what it was at all To have a conversation, an adult, professional conversation with people, okay, I think that's where, especially in the workplace, maybe even at home, I think sometimes we're so terrified that we're going to hurt people's feelings because we see something that we may not like or we see something that we feel like they could do better, and I really think it's in the messaging. I really think it's how it's delivered, okay, not in a in a non-controlling way, and in a very mature, professional, friendly way, like, hey man, do you think of this? Did you think of that? I don't know how I spun it to him, but I don't remember, but it was. I felt like it was good. It was good, good growth for both of us and, and you know, fortunately I got Vic in my life and I can't say that enough. But anyhow, yeah, You're welcome. People do what they see right. So maybe he'll learn something from that and be able to have maybe not so much an uncomfortable conversation but feel more comfortable having those conversations with people where sometimes he might see more. It could be in your children, like, I see that you have more in you than this or whatever, but how? I think the delivery, and I think storytelling too, sometimes helps a lot too in that. So, but now people see, people do what they see right.

Ty Cobb Backer:

I can be up here running my mouth not following through, not doing this, not showing up consistently, being a horrible parent and preaching from you know the mountaintops that you know you need to do better, when in fact I'm not doing these things myself. But I'd like to think that I try to do a little bit better than I did yesterday, and I know that we're not all perfect and we're not. We're not going to be perfect, and I think that I think that's intentional. I think that you know, when you're in a good season of your life, or even a bad season, it seems like the most devastating things turn out to be a blessing sometimes. So it's weird how that kind of works out. But you know you can't just say the right things, you have to live them. Be the model of consistency, work, ethic and humility. Right. Be a leader, be a great teacher. Right. And the only way that you can become a great teacher is by making mistakes and personal development. And you know, and continuously pushing yourself to do great things and and and patience right Like that means being patient, correcting with care, encouraging, often. Right, one of our jobs as leaders is to groom others to become better leaders. Right, that's our legacy.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Vic and I were talking about legacy and a while back. But see, this is this is where I think we sometimes, when we're kind of in a negative headspace like a thousand years from now people aren't ever going to think about, to see that. That's the catch 22 about legacy. Your legacy, right, is the people that you build will outlive the title you held. Okay, you'll never get the credit for it. I will never get the credit for those that came to work here and have been taught all and have given the tools, the resources, the lessons that may go out and do the same thing that we're doing today. We'll never get the credit for that. We'll never, ever.

Ty Cobb Backer:

But the impact this is the important thing. This is where the real flex is. Okay, the important thing is is that I hope they leave here and make $10 million and impact 100 million people. I don't need the credit for that. I'm not saying this to get the credit for that. I'm not mentioning any names. I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying unfortunately for them. That's my legacy. So if that sounded selfish or self-centered, but it is, it will live on for a thousand years. The people I impact today and then the people that they impact, and the ripple effect it just it infinite, it just it's forever the ripple effect. It never stops until it gets to the other side, if there is even another side. You know what I mean. So, and while you're building them, celebrate them, and this is where I'm still kind of struggling a little bit.

Ty Cobb Backer:

I think is like celebrating the wins and really getting out there and celebrating their wins. You know, and, and, and I it was became evident to me you know, we, we get some awards, we achieve a lot of great things with the entire team here we get just the list goes on. I think we won a best roofing contractor um four years in a row. Then, the very first time we did that, it's like, yeah, we took a couple of pictures, right, but I think I hid. I didn't hide it, but like I don't even know if I opened the award. I think it just stayed in a cardboard box because I thought I was being humble, okay, I didn't realize how selfish and self-centered that actually was to the entire team and my family by not allowing them to celebrate, by showing them hey guys, look at this award, hold it, touch it, feel it, take a picture with it, post it on social media, right, and again, I feel like I can do a lot better job of sell it because that's where that's where it is.

Ty Cobb Backer:

So we're not, we're hiding, I'm not being humble, I'm hiding, I don't know why. Is it? Because I think I'm less than I do. I feel like you know I didn't deserve that. Well, they do. Even if I don't, even if I didn't deserve that, I'm taking that away from every individual that made that award possible. And it takes a lot of people. It takes the Collins, it takes the Masons, it takes the Jeremy Benders, it takes the Lawrence, the, the Glens, the, the, the Howies, the Denny's, the I mean it takes all of them, or else we wouldn't be.

Ty Cobb Backer:

And that's that's voted by our peers, that's your county did that for us. That's our brand, that's our brand. They spoke for us. They gave us best roofing contractor four years in a row. Okay, so we got to do something with that. Okay, little shindig, little party, little cookout, little pancake breakfast, something, something.

Ty Cobb Backer:

So we got to celebrate it. We got to celebrate often. We got to win. You got to win, right. We got to celebrate often. We got to win, you got to win, right. We got to create winners. Right.

Ty Cobb Backer:

We're not developing losers here. We don't want to surround ourselves around a bunch of losers. Right, just like Deshaun said, if I surround myself around five losers, I'm going to be the sixth loser, but if we're creating leaders and winners and I'm surrounding myself around five other leaders. I'm going to be the sixth leader, right, and we got to remember that. We got to take that, got to take that shit to heart, right? Um, we just can't say we got to live it, we got to live this thing, right, um? So, anyhow, our legacy go ahead. Is there a question? Pop that thing up there.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Let me see this thing, ben catman question from the back is leadership born or taught? Now, I'm not saying that there isn't born leaders, but it is definitely taught through experience. You may be born with certain attributes or character humility, humbleness, um, giving, caring, right, there's, and they can be double-edged swords. But I think through time and I think through experience and I think, first off, you got to decide what kind of leader do you want to be? Who inspired you in your life? Who made you feel good about what it was you were doing, even though you knew you weren't good at it? Who was the person that made you feel like shit, even when you were winning?

Ty Cobb Backer:

And decide who you want to be is probably the first step in the leadership journey. Who do I want to lead by? Not just regurgitation out of textbooks, not regurgitation of 30-second soundbite, quick, short-form reels, but your experience on how people made you feel okay. Isn't that what it's really about? How, how did I make somebody feel? How did somebody make me feel, decide which type of leadership style? And it can be a mix match. You know different types of leadership styles.

Ty Cobb Backer:

I'm just sharing my, my experience, and truly my experience only in in any of this journey that I'm on and I've been really studying this thing and I'm just I'm sharing my experiences and you know my belief on some of these things. I'm going to give myself an out here. I may not have the same perspective on some of these things later in life, in a different season of my life, but I can tell you what has gotten me here and I can tell you what's kept us relevant, but I can honestly say I don't know if it'll get us where we want to go. So some of my feelings and thoughts and insights and experiences may change and evolve, but see, that's that's the ticket. So, to answer your question, it is taught, it is learned, because you need to continuously learn. It's what it's about.

Ty Cobb Backer:

So, giving others credit. Hopefully I answered your question, ben. It's a great question, by the way, giving others credit, especially when credit is due, okay, even sometimes when it's not. Credit is due, okay, even sometimes when it's not. I know that sounds kind of like an oxymoron, but if you know your people and you know them well enough and you know their love languages and all this good stuff and what motivates them and what keeps them inspired, sometimes somebody just needs to hear something good, even when everything's going to shit. Okay, it can be very painful, but even sometimes when it's not, you got to give them credit, shine the spotlight on them and and when things are wrong and this is the hard part right, the hard part is is only take the credit for the failures, okay, and, and you know the credits for the wins, that's, that's on them. That's, you know wins, that's on them. Let them own that right. Protect your team that's real leadership. And speak with what I call kind candor. I told you we'd circle back to kind candor. Be kind but frank, okay, be clear. You don't have to be a butthead. Say what's needed to be said, but do it with heart, okay. Now here's where it gets hard. Embracing them, even when it's painful Okay, you might have someone in a role that that is burning them out.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Okay, they're not thriving. Well, you see it. But don't want to move them. Okay, cause you need them there. They've been loyal. Okay.

Ty Cobb Backer:

But sometimes the best thing we can do is shift them to a different position, move them, okay. Sometimes you didn't even know that you needed the position you or they made for themselves, and sometimes they didn't even know that they had that skill. Okay, that again experience. I didn't. I wasn't born Okay To to see that.

Ty Cobb Backer:

Right, it's through experience and watching other, from my own experiences of getting burnout and not thriving and not doing well in a position, even though I felt they needed to be in that position because we didn't have anybody else. But I can't be so short-sighted that if I want these people, if they thrived at one point in time in that position, how will they thrive someplace else, even though we don't have anybody to fill that position? But I'm thinking very short-sightedly because there's probably someone sitting behind them that could fill that. Those shoes just as well, if not better. Okay, new set of eyes, new set of glasses, right, different motivation now, because they got a push up in status, they got a new opportunity and that good stuff. So I've been there, did that, I've seen it, done it. I've seen people create their own positions throughout the company, but again, that's getting back to surrounding yourself around great fricking people, right?

Ty Cobb Backer:

And at the end of the day, the question isn't how much control do I have, right? It's how many people have I raised up to lead after me, right? That's what? That's what it comes down to. So, anyhow, I think I'm going to wrap this up here at about 40 minutes. Man, if you, if you up good, that means you're ready. You're ready to lead differently. You're ready to serve first, you're ready to pass the baton to others and be proud of what they do with it. You don't have to wear a crown to be a king. You just have to build a kingdom others want to grow in. Thanks for tuning in to Beyond the Tool Belt. Be sure to like, share, love, subscribe, do all those crazy things, and may the force be with you Till next week I'll catch ya.

People on this episode

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.

THE ED MYLETT SHOW Artwork

THE ED MYLETT SHOW

Ed Mylett | Cumulus Podcast Network
The Cardone Zone Artwork

The Cardone Zone

Grant Cardone
Be Authentic or GTFO! Artwork

Be Authentic or GTFO!

Eric Oberembt