Quiet The Bitch Voice

We crack open how inputs shape outputs, how to quiet the loud inner critic, and how to swap victim thinking for real ownership with simple, repeatable drills. Practical stories, crew‑ready scripts, and a five‑minute morning stack make the shift doable today.

• inputs across reading, watching, listening, and circle audits
• five guided questions for an input audit
• five‑minute morning input stack to tilt the day
• open mind with strong standards using four tactics
• victim language rewritten into ownership actions
• three‑step process to exit blame and add safeguards
• drills for hard days: minimal viable day, 90‑second reset
• progress receipts, run the drill, rule of thirds
• journey over finish line mindset and weekly challenges

If today helped you or anyone you know, or you think somebody might listen to this, share it with one person on your crew and leave a quick rating

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Chapters

• 0:00 Live Cold Open And Setup
• 2:23 Naming The Bitch Voice
• 2:55 Inputs Shape Outputs
• 6:48 The Input Audit Framework
• 10:20 Gates: Read, Watch, Listen, People
• 14:06 Warped Level Metaphor And Perception
• 17:56 Five Guided Input Questions
• 22:07 30‑Day Input Challenge And Morning Stack
• 27:02 Open Mind Without Losing Standards
• 31:22 Four Tactics For Better Ideas
• 36:16 From Victim To Ownership
• 41:38 Three Steps To Exit Victim Mode
• 45:10 Pushing Through Without Burnout
• 50:08 Breathing Reset And Progress Receipts

Transcript

Ty Cobb Backer: 0:00

And we are live. Welcome back, everybody, to be on the Tobel episode 305. I am your host, Ty Cobb Backer. Thank you for joining us on this Wednesday day shoot. We will be right back after our short intro from our sponsors. I think they're calling for some rain tomorrow. Sorry that we are late. I had to take a moment to get my head out of my ass. And uh here we are. We are live and on tie time. So that means we are on time. So, anyhow, I want to talk today about that voice, that loud ass voice that chooses that that voice that tells you um that little bitch voice. I'm gonna call it the bitch voice. Yeah, right, that uh you listen to um every day. And uh I'm gonna explain to you where that might come from. Okay, and it's it's the stuff that you input, the stuff that you input between your ears, okay, the stuff you listen to on the way to the job site, between calls, lunch, the shows you play, uh, the people you stand next to. Okay, the posts that you scroll. Those inputs are framing your decisions before you even leave the house in the morning. Okay, today we're gonna we're gonna tighten up those inputs a little bit. We're gonna open your minds without losing our standards and drop the victim mindset and keep pushing when the work gets heavy. And we know it gets heavy. And uh so welcome, welcome back to Behind the Tool Belt where we talk. We talk about building things that last, whether it be businesses, crews, habits, mindsets. I am your host, Ty Cobb Backer. So let's start with let's start with an input audit. Let's let's do a little audit. Because I've I've had to do quite a few of these um here over this this past our season. Our season five. I'll be kind of too about coming up on season six already. I'm thinking about seven-ish, seven-ish weeks.

unknown: 3:12

Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 3:13

Yeah. So figure out the word. Talk about talk about some of the things I've I've done, experienced here, things I'm working on, things I pretty much most of the stuff I'm gonna talk about today, I've I'm I'm currently doing. I'm not gonna say that I've been doing them forever, but um, I want to encourage everybody else and and also inform them some of the things that are working, have worked for me. And and one of them is a is an input audit. And what I mean by input, I mean by what are you feeding your head? What are you feeding your body? What shit are you putting into your brain? What shit are you putting into your body? You know, um, what are you reading? What are you watching? What are you listening to? Who are you standing next to? These are all things that are shaping your thinking and your behavior, whether you know it or not. You know, and I and I think about this, and I think I've talked about this before in uh uh with Vic, I'm sure it's like, you know, when we were when we were growing up as children, right, and the lessons that our our parents were trying to teach us, and our our most influential teachers, you know, it shaped us, shaped, shaped our thinking, molded our minds. And right, wrong, or indifferent. It was just the only thing that we heard. It was the only lessons we were taught. You know, looking back on that, it's like, man, I wish we would have learned how to balance checkbooks and open up a bank account, you know, things that were like relevant to the shit that we go through as adults, you know. But, you know, and there's a lot of diversity going on in the world today. And and um, I have my own battles between my own years that I have to fight on a day-to-day basis. So I'm not gonna go down that rabbit hole. But things that have helped me, you know, combat, um, you know, a lot of that stuff. Um and try to um, you know, keep keep an open mind without losing judgment and um how to see multiple ways to do things and not fall into my way or the highway. And and trust me, I've I've dealt with that. So we're gonna tackle dropping the victim mindset and and moving to more uh ownership. And and we'll finish with pushing through tough stretches and seeing the lessons as the real payoff and and not the finish line. Um so so you'll hear uh probably some some guided questions um that I'm actually gonna want people to answer. I want you to answer them. Answer them out loud, jot them down, put them in the comments, or or um give me your questions. You can reach me at tie it behind the toolbell.com. And um, if you want me to, I will um I'll post them or we'll talk about them next week. Um, but um, if you're on the road, you know, um answer these questions in your head. If you're at the shop, grab a notepad, wherever you're at in the office. So uh I'm gonna start with something probably simple and uncomfortable. Um but your this is the other thing I was thinking about too. It's the my output are uh downstream, downstream from my input. So essentially what I'm inputting um will be the end result of my outcome. Okay. Um, and every day, every day I open up gates, every day we open up gates, okay. Um what we read, text, you know, the estimates that we look at, um, the spec sheets, the books, the posts, things that we watch, uh, job site videos, new clips, YouTube how-to reels, um, things that we listen to, uh, podcast, playlist, conversations in the truck on the way to the job site or lunchtime. Um, and the people, the people that we stand next to, your wife, your buddies, your your friends, um, shit. It could be somebody on your crew. Um, I take input from our suppliers, uh, manufacturing shit, the neighbor at the hardware store. You know what I mean? I I um, you know, and then I I form my own epiphanies, I form my own opinions. Um, and those are gates. Okay. That content shapes what you notice, what you miss, how and what you believe, and how you behave, especially when the pressure hits. Okay. You already know this. The shit for those of us that are in construction, we already know this is true um with tools. And I'm going to use a warped level for an example. You know, you use a warped level, the line looks straight, but it isn't. And inputs work the same way, if that makes any sense. I've I've I've read data sheets that were inaccurate, but I believed them. Um, I've had a bent bowed level that appeared to be showing things level or plum. And in fact, they weren't. A lot of times in the siding world, if it looks level from the ground, it's level. It's our perception, right? And a lot of times, the only thing wrong with the world is the six inches between our freaking ears. Um and my my my thinking was screwed up too early on. I remember there was this job site, it seemed like we it was taking forever. And I just want to share this quick story. And um, of course, I was in charge of it, and every day I would show up and I would look for I'd look for problems. And I would, you know, start screaming and barking orders, and and uh nothing seemed to get any better. I just I couldn't figure out why. Like I just couldn't scream any louder, I couldn't drop any more mother effers, or and I just couldn't figure out why they just couldn't get fire under everybody's ass. And um, and I look looking back today, it's you know, my my perception of things is is completely different. Where if I show up on a job site, I'm looking at things like has it been too windy? Do they have the right equipment? Is there enough manpower here? Where was there uh material shortages? Was there, you know, I try to look for yes, issues, but also things that I'm in control of. And that is getting more equipment out there, getting more manpower out there, getting ordering the uh the right material. So um I want to take a minute here and I'm gonna I'm gonna ask, I'm gonna ask five questions. And you can ask these, say these, answer these questions um out loud or grab a note. So what's the last thing um you read that general that that genuinely um improved your work? Okay. So there's read, there's watch, okay, watch. Which channels or reels actually lifted your standard? And which ones just spiked your emotions? Because I know I'll watch something, man, and it just kind of gets me pissed, and I gotta keep scrolling. Fortunately, on my feed, um, I have fishing, golfing, and real positive shit that I'm into is as far as my hobbies go and stuff like that. And I'll get sucked into some pretty, some pretty, you know, educational stuff when it comes to fishing techniques or golf swings and and stuff like that. And it's work-related stuff. I'll comment and like and love and and and share and stuff like that. Um and then we listen, right? Which voices leave you more disciplined afterwards, not just more fired up, right? So I had to I had to step away from people, places, things, and situations that that tend to either you know fire me up negatively, not necessarily positively. I like to I like to listen to things that actually get me fired up, whether it's good music or you know, an amazing podcast host. And I got quite a few of them. And uh music is definitely good for the soul too. And then um we talked about before in the past too. Um, you know, those that we this the circle, who's in our circle. Um, I gotta do a circle audit sometimes, you know. Um, who am I standing next to? Are they making me sharper? Are they holding me back? Who nudges me towards excuses or who nudges me to not make excuses? Um and then replace. Okay, so replace what's one input um I need to to remove this week, and what input am I going to am I gonna add? Am I gonna add this week? So reading, watching, listening, standing next to, and replace. Okay, and we can we'll put them in the comments after the show here. So that's your that's your input audit. Um don't overcomplicate it. That's the one thing I'm gonna say is don't overcomplicate it. And I tend to overcomplicate like the simplest the simplest task and chores and and um personal development stuff. I I really will get in there and um make a freaking shit show out of it. So don't complicate it, swap out, swap one input out um for one input. You don't have to completely switch your your circle, the TV shows, the news channels, you know, that you're watching and stuff like that. But if if you're watching news at night, laying in bed or or whatever the case might be, and and I'm gonna tell you right now, a lot of times I wake up based upon what I did the night before. How late did I eat? What was I watching? Uh, was I scrolling? You know, was I looking at too much blue screen right before I went to bed? Um will predict pretty much how I feel when I wake up. Do I feel bloated? Do I feel energetic? Do I feel clear-minded? Um, and if I don't, I have to ask myself those questions. I stay up too late watching Fox News, did I stay up too late, you know, scrolling Facebook? Did I eat way too much? Did I eat that big bag of chips laying in bed? And I'm wondering why I can't lose those pounds. And all that stuff, all that negative stuff that you're feeding, that you're inputting, is not conducive to your mental or physical health and and quite frankly, your your your spiritual well-being either. You know, because how confident am I gonna wake up knowing that there or I see that empty bag of Uts potato chips, you know, grandma, grandma utts' potato chips, and I'm guilty, I'm still guilty of it, but it usually right away I'll see it, and I didn't identify it right away. I didn't, I'll be honest with you. It I didn't know that it was messing with my psyche if I'd wake up. But if I woke up and there was a half drank bottle of water, or completely drank, you know, um, bottle of water next to my bed, you know, that that, you know, believe it or not, makes me feel makes me feel like I'm doing the next right thing. And when I get on the scales and I see that I'm down a half a pound, or I'm still at weight, the weight, my desired weight, um, that that right there can set the tempo for my entire day. Okay. Um, so um, I'm I'm challenging, you know, people to do, I don't know, 30-day challenge and um and uh some practical moves, you know, that we can do for the next 30 days. And and uh, you know, um it can be as simple as I use post-it notes a lot. I'll put a post-it note on on my desk or shit, even on my dash of the truck. And uh so I'm recommending putting a post-it note on the dash of your truck, like what's playing? What what what am I listening to right now? Am I listening to Rush Limbaugh? Am I listening to you know, just some somebody running their mouth? Um, or am I learning something? Am I listening to something positive, whether it be good positive music? Um, and and this is what this is what's brilliant, but very obvious, but you know, we have that we have that choice on what what channel is on the radio. Okay. Um go to five minute morning um input stack, and I'm and I'm gonna share with you kind of what what I've done. Um five minutes of of quiet in the morning, no phone, no, no computer, no nothing. Uh two pages from a solid book, something that I can apply to my life. Um, one text of encouragement to somebody um in my family on my crew. Uh right now I got this little thread going with this guy that that is out of North Carolina. Um, you know, and then a uh you know, short podcast or segment that teaches me and and not rant, right? Because there's a lot of podcast people out there that just rant, that just bitch about what's going on in the world. And for me, that's not conducive. I don't really give two shits about I do, I do care. Let me let me digress a little bit. I do care about what's going on in the world, but I think a lot of us are getting too hemmed up in the the uh external economy and need to focus more about our own businesses and and our internal economies, and that could be at home, that could be at our place of work, but we we need to mind our own and make sure our household is is on lockdown and and uh we're taking care of those that you know most. And uh, you know, that oh, and um, what is something that I'm going to stop avoiding? What is that that difficult task or that chore or thing that I need to get done? Um and and realistically, I think three three out of those four things take what maybe 12-15 minutes every morning. Um if I if I um you know listen listen to something, I I read, I read, I leave actually I read more than two pages. Um, but you know, five minutes without the phone, that's kind of where I chew up that five minutes. I read a couple pages. Um, I read a little something at in the morning at home, and I I read something here at work. I just picked another book up here at work that I'm I'm currently reading right now that I feel is gonna help me, not just today, but it's gonna it's gonna help shape who I want to be on this journey that I'm on right now. But but also keeping an open mind, okay. And and and now I want to talk about um about keeping an open mind without turning into uh I want to call it a drift sock. And a lot of you might not, unless you fish, know what a drift sock is. A drift sock is for somebody who like me has a boat and has never yet got a trolling motor put on their boat. So when when the wind's up and um or the drift speed isn't what I want it to be, I'll throw out what's it's like a kite. I'll throw a kite off the side of the boat to slow the boat down on our drift. So I just thought I'd share that. Don't be uh don't be a drift sock or uh yeah, drift sock. Okay. Um open, you know, open, being open-minded is is it doesn't mean uncommitted. It means you're willing to test whether um your way is still the best way today. Okay, and and here are four four tactics. Um, I've used at home and and I've used it at work, and it and it's before, and I'm getting better at this, and before I shut somebody down, I I try to say, I try to say, or I recommend try saying their idea in a way they think is better than the way they said it. Okay, so for an example, um, so what you are saying is we can cut the siding with a saw, and I'm gonna I'm gonna try to keep this construction based here because you know it's called behind the toilet. So we can cut the siding with a saw instead of hand cutting each individual piece with snips. The win is fewer strips and cleaner lines. Did I get that right? Okay, if they say yes, now you're both solving the same problem. Okay, and that's really just takes keeping an open mind and not shutting them down because when you shut them down, you're shutting yourself down to be open. And unfortunately, you're still being a part of the problem. So if they say yes, when you reiterate what they said, but in a way better than what they said it, so maybe you didn't fully understand, and maybe they can correct you and be like, no, that's not exactly, because you may not even even have understood exactly what it was that they were saying to you to begin with. So um number two, number two would be the two percent uh truth rule. If any idea you don't like, hunt for the two percent. Okay, that's true or useful. Okay, maybe the whole plan won't work, but the detail about staging materials could save us hours. Okay, getting back to using a saw cutting the siding instead of hand snips because I see guys out there, which the generation that I grew up in, we had a cut guy on the ground, and uh he would stack siding up and he would actually be able to cut multiple pieces. Nowadays, I see individuals working by themselves on a wall and hand cutting individual pieces of siding with a pair of hand snips. I mean, I get it, I understand that um they think it's faster because they're not waiting on somebody. But when you have a good ground guy that can stay two steps in front of you, it's definitely gonna save you time and money in the long run. So, anyhow, um, number three, double click, double click questions. Ask one more question than you would want to, okay? Walk me through this. Give me an example. What are we assuming, right? What breaks this? You know, get good at good it because it really comes down to good question asking. So that's a skill. It's a skill that I have to work on. I continuously work on asking better questions, asking more questions, even when I don't want to, especially when I don't want to ask questions. Like, I've already shut it down. Nope, that idea is stupid. No, I had an opportunity yesterday. Somebody came to us and was like, hey, how about if we do this? And I was like, Cool, we have a meeting about that topic at two o'clock today. Why don't you sit in? I think it's an amazing idea, right? Well, after we all spoke about it, I was like, Yeah, it's great, it's great. You know, it pulled some triggers and some memories and some thoughts that, you know, yeah, we should be doing that. So half the time the idea improves itself under light, is is, I guess, my point, right? Ask more questions, put a link on it, and and have somebody maybe explain it a different way, or you try to articulate it in the way that you've understood what they're trying to present you because you may not fully understand it. Okay. Open-mindedness, right? God, that's such a revelation, you know, but it's it is. Sounds trivial, but it's not for me, anyhow. I'm a knucklehead. Okay. Um, so once a week, um, if I had to prove the opposite of my favorite opinion today, how would I do it? Okay, do it with something practical. Okay. Tools, scheduling, invoices. You'll either strengthen your view or refine them. Okay. So, what I'm trying to say here is like practic something different. If you're in the invoicing department, if you're in the siding hanging department, if you're in the whatever department, try doing it a different way once and and see what the outcome is. Or take a suggestion from somebody that's been telling you because we don't always have to be right. We don't always we don't always have to do it our way. And I would, I would, I would ask you this question: where in your week do you most often think I way is the only way? What's one place, one place you'll run a small test of a different approach this week? I challenge somebody that your way isn't the only way, and try it a different way. And remember, open-mindedness doesn't mean you're soft, it means you're humble, exact, and willing to learn. And I think a lot of the stuff that this kind of falls under a lot of the topic around leadership that we talk about all the time is, you know, I think this is a this is a crucial piece that a lot of us leaders miss. We think that we need all the answers. We think we know better than everybody else. We think that we're smarter, we are the smartest person in the room. Fail. Huge fail. Huge freaking fail. Okay, we're gonna move on to a little bit here, the dropping, dropping the old uh victim mindset. So let's call let's call this out straight here. Okay, the victim mindset is tempting because it feels good for about 10 minutes. And Vic and I, I think we've been talking about this because it's it's the easiest. It's easier. You know, you get to be right for that 10 minutes, and you don't have to do anything, you can just be negative Nelly and and uh play the victim. So the bill later is heavy when when you do that, right? Resentment, stuck projects, um and the same week repeats over and over and over. I'm the victim, nothing works out right, you know. And here's the upgrade, okay. Event, we have a choice, and there's gonna be an outcome. Okay, and you can't always pick the event. I can't always predict the situation that's gonna happen. However, I can always, always, always pick my night, my next choice. Okay, how I respond, how I react. And here's an example, okay, of um victim and and ownership. Okay, victim would say something along the lines, the inspector screwed us. Okay, ownership would be more like we missed the spec change. Next time we review the updated spec sheet, and we'll try to do better. Okay, victim. And this was me. My crew never listens. Okay, ownership. Ownership would be I didn't make the standard visual, right? I didn't articulate the message, I didn't follow up. Today, I will post a checklist and review it at 3:30 and follow up with everybody. Okay, victim mindset. Clients always want cheap. Okay. Ownership. I haven't learned how to show value early today or tomorrow. I will bring a sample board and a cost of not doing it chart. I will show value early in the conversation. Okay. Notice something ownership keeps your power. Okay, you keep the power, it doesn't let the event dictate your next move. Okay. And sometimes when you behave poorly, you can't even dictate your next move because that offended person or persons or situation, they dictate the outcome for you. You either get hauled off in handcuffs, you get thrown off a job site. It's not working together, it's not keeping an open mind. Even no matter how hard it stings, no matter how much it burns, all right? Keep your head, keep the power. Okay. So again, getting back to the inspector where you know we had an inspector fail us, okay, over just some minor safety rails. Old me would have flew off the freaking handle. Okay. The new me, I honestly thought, you know, shows up. I honestly thought we built it right. You know, I thought we built it to code. I asked the inspector for five minutes of his time to, you know, document his exact expectations without flying off the handle, without being an arrogant asshole. I actually wanted to. Learn something. Okay. Can can you write or can you show me in the book? Or when was this updated? When was this code updated? And and um then moving forward, we can make a simple pre-check inspection check sheet for the next time we I don't know, have to put safety handrails on something, right? I'm just trying to pull some shit out of my ass here real quick. Um, you know, so um yeah, keep an open mind. Not saying that we can't justify in our heads when we're right and they're wrong. There's a way, there's a way to go about it, right? There's a way to handle situations, and there's a way much further, right? What do they call it? You get a lot further with sugar than you do vinegar. My mom taught me that a long time ago. I actually ask myself this question some days. Do I do I handle this, Dan Backer, like Ann Backer, or do I handle this like Bob Backer? And some situations do require a Bob Backer. You know, don't get it twisted. And don't ever piss my mom off. She would have given you anything, but don't ever piss her off. Same goes for my dad. I've seen my dad go bend over backwards for people and and uh end up getting screwed. So, anyhow, three three steps, three steps to exit the victim mode. Okay. So first one is is name name the event, okay, without drama. Okay. The event was we missed the delivery date. We didn't finish the project on time. Okay. Then name name your controllable, the next action, okay. Um, call supplier, get updates, when materials and products are are are gonna come in. Okay. Number three would be name the safeguard, okay, so it doesn't repeat, so we don't, so we don't do this again. Okay. Add a 24-hour confirmation um text or email in the AM on delivery check. Okay. All of that falls back on me. All of that is lack of something on my half, on my behalf, of not following up with distribution to make sure, not checking the weather the the night before, not um behaving accordingly when things don't go the way that I think they should have gone. Um, so the the the guided um exercise, right? So think of one situation this month where you've been stuck in bling. Okay. And you got one finger, you got three point back. See these three point back at me. Every time I point a finger, I got three point back at me. So think of a situation this month where you've been stuck on blame. Okay, the event was okay. Shingles showed up late. My controllable next move is my safeguard number three, my safeguard so this doesn't happen again. Simple. The event was my controllable next move, okay, and the safeguard so it doesn't repeat again. Okay, that move right there will move you out of victim mode and become the victor, the builder. I like to use the word victor because victor's my best friend.

unknown: 33:35

Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 33:38

Okay, so here's here's um some other cool little nuggets um that I want to share too about um so we can keep pushing without getting burnt out, right? The the a five five little drill thing that I rehash kind of through my head here. I came up with this a couple months ago to kind of keep pushing and keep suiting up and keep showing up and keeping a smile on my face and stuff. And it's and one is uh minimal viable day. Okay. On the hardest days, I have to pick three non-negotiables. Okay. One of them is is what is one needle moving task that I know is gonna move the needle that's non-negotiable? Okay, what can I do today that's gonna move the needle? Okay, so I don't have any guilt, shame, insecurities, whatever tomorrow. Okay. Another one is is what what is one relationship that I can touch? Okay, who can I reach out to? Whether it be a client, a crew member, um, um home, call home, Jana. Hey babe, I love you. How you doing? Right? Um, and then the re um, what do you want to call it? Regeneration act. And I started this recently. One of these things, um, walk, stretch, decent meal. Obviously, I try to eat as best as I can, but I started doing these core exercises on my floor in my office. If I start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, anxiety, I started to do these stretches, but having some issues with my my hips and my pelvic being super tight. And and uh was taught someone who showed me some exercises that I can simply do anywhere as long as there's enough room for me to get on the floor. And uh I started doing some exercises, and then one from sitting all day long, as simple as putting your hands on your hips and pushing your hips out and tilting back, is actually super good for your spine if you're somebody that sits all day. It's a stretch that you can do. And there's a couple other things if anybody wants to know what I've been doing here lately. And I actually went to the chiropractor last night and he told me. So I've had I've been having issues with my my pelvic like slipping out of place, and it's creating all kinds of hip and back, lower back issues and stuff like that. And and yesterday I actually got some good news from my chiropractor where he had said that he hasn't seen that he's been seeing me for a while. He's never seen my lower back as strong as it is right now, and that my pelvic actually had stayed in place um for for over a week. So that's that's good news. And it's from utilizing an exercise that I predominantly use when I get a little anxious, right? So instead of sitting there wallowing in my shit and stressing and freezing and and being frozen in place, I'll get I'll get up and um I do pace. I'm known for pacing a lot, but this stretch that I've been doing um has has really not only helped my my stress, day-to-day stressors, but it has also helped me physically, which in turn makes me just mentally feel a lot better about me, right? And I'm not breaking those promises that I make to myself on a day-to-day basis. And if you nail all three of those on a day-to-day basis, you won the day. Okay. So, um, what's gonna move the needle? Okay, what am I gonna do today that's gonna move the needle? Okay, one relationship touch and one regeneration act. Okay, what am I gonna do? What movement am I gonna do? Now, fortunately, I I also work out a good bit. Okay, um, the 90-second reset. I've done this quite often here lately. The frustration spikes, getting ready to lose my shit, gotta step away. Set, and I started doing some breathing in this 90 seconds here, and Vic and I learned something. We went on a trip with um Erico and those guys, and Dr. I want to say his name is Dr. Gary. Taught us some, and I even got the app on my phone so I can listen to that stuff and and do some some breathing. So I don't have to set like a 90-second timer on my phone or anything like that and simply breathe. I don't know if some of this might sound corny, and I was kind of a disbeliever, and so he hooked us up on a machine and uh was reading like you know, our pulse, our heart rate, our age, our internal age, I think he was calling it. And when he first hooked us up on it, my my internal age was freaking ancient. I was old. And then after some real quick, easy um breathing technique, oh man, it was like it was below my age, right? My heart rate was at an age, you know, younger than what I am, and and some other matrix that he was measuring. Um, it was good, it was good stuff. I see um my can't scream certain, certain of my righteousness. That's right. Yeah, I'm certain I got it. I'm gonna die on this hill. I'm gonna do it. So deep belly, in through your nose, slow out through your mouth, and your brain stops flooding your body, and uh you get you get your thinking back, at least I do, and I'm pretty sure just about everybody else. Well, breathing is um pretty cool technique. Simple, you can do it anywhere. You go into the bathroom, you know, two two minutes, minute and a half. Okay, focus on your breathing. I put one hand on my stomach so I can feel my diaphragm contracting in there. Um, and then um progress receipts. Keep a running list of what got better this quarter. Repeat clients, fewer callbacks, faster estimates, one uh um apprentice, one one, one mentor, um, stepping up, whatever, um, and reading it on a bad day. Okay, proof beats feelings, right? So, so write down some wins, okay, for the quarter. Write down some wins from the year, write down wins from freaking the week, okay, and and re-rehash them next week, okay? And um, and then uh run run run the drill. When chaos hits, script your next three moves, okay? Call the supplier, reshuffle the crew, update the customer, um, then run the drill without emotion. Okay. Adjust after that. You know, if you got to make an uncomfortable phone call, kind of kind of figure out, you know, if you got to send out an uncomfortable email or whatever the case might be, rehearse it. Rehearse it in your head. Okay. Um, don't overthink it. All right. The important thing is that you made that phone call, you told the home, you got to call the homeowner, and you got to let them know once again, you're not gonna make it. You would much rather have somebody pissed off at you for five minutes than five hours wondering where the guys are the next morning. So make the call the night before. Can't make it tomorrow again. I'm sorry. And don't feed them a line of shit. You know, like uh, I don't know, some some bullshit excuses. Nobody wants to hear excuses, they want to hear results. Okay. Um and then the third, the rule of the thirds, I think I got this from from Ed Milette. Um, if you break your day up into thirds, okay, and let's just say the first third was was um was mediocre or it was good. Morning startup great, okay. And then the second third was okay, and then the third third of your day was shit. Don't let that dictate how the rest of your day goes. Don't don't let that don't take that shit home. Okay, if you if if your day ends horribly, do some of the exercises that we talked about here a little bit. Okay, review, review what could move the needle. Did I make that phone call? Did I forget to make that phone call? Do I need to reach out to a homeowner? Did I do my 90-second breathing, you know, and then also get back to the event, okay? Our actions, right? What am I gonna do? Um, how am I gonna react? How am I gonna respond? Right, because we as individuals, I don't think realize how how much we affect those around us, our behaviors, our actions, good or bad, it affects those around us. And if you're in a leadership, a parenting role, I mean, usually all eyes are on us and we set we set the tone. So um ask yourself this question. And I've been asking myself this question a lot. It's like, what's one one tough stretch um I'm in right now? What drill fits? Okay, what what what drill fits? Um push. Push doesn't mean um forever, you know, it doesn't mean forever, it just means um consistency over drama, okay. The journey. It's about the journey and and not necessarily the finish line. I want to dive into this a little bit here, and then uh promise I'll shut the hell up and let you guys go about your day. Because I always think about the finish line, right? I think about the uh ribbon cutting, the final draws, the paid invoices, but most of our most of most of our lives happen between the finish lines, the journey, okay, and how we show up daily, how we treat people, um, what we learn under pressure. That's the person we're building. That is the person I'm becoming, how I handled those situations. Did I suit up? Did I show up? Did I stay consistent? Okay. And again, this plays back. This plays back to the confidence, the the um lack of anxiety. If I continuously suit up and show up, no matter how tough things seem to get, right? I still moved the needle, I still made that one touch. Um, I called that that homeowner to let them know I'm not I'm not stacking negatives. I'm I'm continuously stacking many wins, many, many, many wins. And I'm not stacking because there's the opposite. We don't talk enough about everyone was stacking those wins. Well, let's talk about when I'm not stacking wins. Let's talk about the times where I'm stacking all this negative shit where I'm not following up, I'm not following through, I'm not making those difficult calls, I'm not having those difficult conversations. And and here's the truth. Okay, after the tough times, I'm not the same. Okay, I'm stronger, I'm sharper, I'm more patient. Okay. I didn't fail. I suited up, I showed up. And um I try to think of I try to think of um a hard season that I survived or a hard situation that that I went through, whether it be it in my childhood, um, and I've been through, I've been I've I've been in some real hairy, sticky, uncomfortable situations. So I try to always go back to that. And that's kind of why we say get comfortable being uncomfortable, because we intentionally put ourselves in uncomfortable, healthy, uncomfortable situations in order to make us stronger, brighter, sharper, better human being. So we're preparing ourselves for those difficult times. Okay, remember that. Scuba diving has been one of those situations for me that's very uncomfortable, but I knew it was going to make me a better human being. It was gonna make me a stronger human being. And that was due to the sum of those I surrounded myself with. I surrounded myself around people that don't that don't put up with my excuses, people that push me to be better people, right? That talked me into going scuba diving, which I thought was the stupidest thing ever. But now I think it's one of the most amazing gifts that um I've ever been given. So try to when you're going through a hard time, try to think of a hard time. It doesn't necessarily have to be harder, um, but think that, you know, well, I survived that, right? And and what skill did it force me to build? Okay. Was it better scheduling? Was it boundaries? Was it I needed to communicate better? And I'm speaking from experience, right? Scheduling, boundaries, um, and communication. I'm horrible at all three of them, but but through my hard times, I've learned to communicate better, I've learned to schedule better, I've learned to set boundaries. Okay, and um where where do I use skills today to to create new wins? Okay. Okay. And that's why it's not it's not about the finish line, it's about the journey. The journey is the workshop, the workshop where you become the person who can handle the finish line, right? When the finish line gets there, because it typically means there's gonna be some more drama, more dilemmas, because you probably built something bigger, better, right? Which creates different issues, things break, right? It's never usually what we expected it to be, anyhow, when we get there. So prepare yourself, get comfortable being uncomfortable. Okay. And I want to leave you with with with some questions here to carry into next week, okay, and and answer one today, one tomorrow, and one over the weekend. Inputs. Okay. What's one input you'll cut out for 30 days? Okay. Is it not watching the news at night? Is it not eating a whole bag of grandma Utts's chips in bed? What whatever? What's one input? What is one piece of trash that I'm feeding my head? I'm feeding my body that I'm gonna remove, and what's one that I'm gonna add? And why those? Okay, that's question or that's um that's one number two, open-minded. Okay, where will I run a tiny test to see if there's a better way than mine? Okay, because we were talking about or the highway, okay, and then ownership. Okay, what what sentence can I rewrite from victim mentality to ownership? Tough times, which drills? You know, what what what am I what am I gonna rewrite? Okay, so little little recap here. Um, during tough times, what which drill am I going to apply? Um am I gonna do uh a 90 90 second reset? Um which um am I going to allow one third of my day dictate the rest of my day? I man, I used to be horrible at that. Something would happen to me in the morning, and man, it would dictate the rest of my day. I mean, completely. I would I would completely remove all of the positive things that are in my life because of this one situation, would just completely, and I'm not saying I don't get stuck for about five, fifteen, twenty minutes in in it. I'm not saying it's I'm I'm I'm a duck's ass. What I'm saying is though I cannot let the rest of my day be ruined or dictate the outcome and spoil everybody else's day because I'm I had a bad moment. It's just this too shall pass. Um so yeah, the the the lessons um from the harsh hard sea seasons are are paying paying off. You know what I mean? If if if I continue to keep thinking about this the way that I am, you know, why is it happening for me? I may not be able to see it right this second, but I really truly believe if you if you dig into that, why is this happening to me right now, and if you can flip that to why is this happening for me, you will come up with something of why it's happening for you and not to you, because that's the victim mindset. That's that bitch voice in your head. Okay, it'll pay dividends. Trust me. I've tested it. So if you want me to read your answers next week, um DM me or email me um at Ty BeyonToWelt. Ty at Beyond dot com and put in the subject line um uh Tool Belt EP 305. And that way I'll uh I'll read your answers here. So just a quick recap. Um input shape outputs. Okay, audit what you read, watch, listen, and who you stand next to. Okay, open mind, strong standards, um the two percent truth. Okay, ask one more question and test the opposite. Okay, drop victimhood, choose ownership, event, choice, outcome. Swap your language, keep the power. Okay, keep the power. The moment you show your ass is the moment you lose all power. Okay, push through the heavy days, okay. Minimal, viable day, 90 second reset, progress receipts, uh, run the drill, rule the thirds. Okay, don't let one third of your day ruin the other two-thirds. Okay, love the journey. I know it's hard. I know it's hard, man. But love the journey, the lessons in motion make you the person who can finish well. Okay, we'll make it to the finish line together here. So, anyhow, this has been another amazing episode of Behind a Tool Belt. Inputs, mindset, uh, the long game. Okay. If today helped you or anyone you know, or you think somebody might listen to this, share it with one person on your crew and leave a quick rating. I don't know if anybody's ever rated this yet. Um, but helps more builders find the show, right? More builders, we're all building shit here, right? Tell me your input audit swap, your input audit swap for the week. Uh, send me your victim to ownership sentence. And if you run one opposite day test on your progress, I want to hear the results. Reach out to me again, DM me, or tie it at uh behindhettoolbelt.com. And remember, the tools in your belt matter, but the tools in your head decide how far you'll go. Okay. Usually the only thing that's going wrong is the six inches between your ears. Keep building. I love you guys, and I will see you on the next one.