Close The Mo Gap

We lay out a simple, no-drama plan to rebuild momentum by shrinking the gap between a slip and a restart. The Mo Gap, the Four-R protocol, and smart defaults replace shame with structure so progress feels inevitable again.

• celebrating Women in Construction Week and community shout-outs
• recap of the momentum series and why Mo slips
• the Mo Gap and the cost of the shame tax
• three momentum killers: all-or-nothing, overload, energy leaks
• the Four-R comeback protocol: Recognize, Reduce, Restart, Reinforce
• micro, minimal, normal bricks and the first rep rule
• reinforcement design: triggers, tracking, environment, battery
• if-then plans and the two-day rule
• the seven-day Mo Gap challenge and daily prompts

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Chapters

• 15:35 [Ad] Make your podcast work for your business - Listen to Podcasting Amplified
• 16:19 (Cont.) Close The Mo Gap
• 29:31 [Ad] The SafeWork Advantage Podcast
• 30:12 (Cont.) Close The Mo Gap

Transcript

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(Cont.) Close The Mo Gap

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(Cont.) Close The Mo Gap

Ty Cobb Backer 0:02

So two on those on the boom system. This is school authenticity. This is school over this is our story. So is your journey so of your stars? Please welcome your host, Tom Calbacker. Welcome back, folks, to this amazing Wednesday afternoon. I hope your week is going as well as mine is. Before we get started, I want to give a shout out to all the ladies. This month, this week, rather, is Women in Construction Week, March 1st through the 7th. So big shout out to all the ladies out there that uh make this industry go round. And I didn't want to forget that. I actually found that I was reading some stuff from the York Builders Association this morning. And Haley sends a newsletter over to me from the YBA. So big shout out to all the ladies over there at the York Builders Association. Big shout out to all the ladies here at TC Backer Construction, those that have come, gone, and passed, and those that are about to enter into our industry, which I know there is a lot out there because we do work with a lot of students, especially over there at the York Technical School of Technology. Um, there's a lot of a lot of young ladies over there going through the trades right now. So that that's inspiring, it's motivating, and and all that good stuff. So, anyhow, back to our scheduled podcast for today. So if you all have been rocking with me for the past couple, couple, couple weeks here, a couple episodes, you know we've been we've been having this this momentum series. We did uh episode 321, you can check it out on the replay, was about how to gain momentum, okay, and and how to create it when you feel stuck, when you're stuck in the suck. And then episode 322 was how to protect your momentum and how to keep momentum once it's moving. But today, today, today, today is a part that um people don't post on social media. They they only post like the wins, but but however, everybody feels it, right? Everybody lives it, everybody kind of goes through that stuck, everybody kind of goes through the suck. And uh today I'm gonna talk a little bit about how to how to you know get back on the beam. And and a lot of this, when I was thinking about it, I was I was thinking about you know what Vic had gone through. Um, you know, a couple few times, you know, he was sick, him and Tina were sick. Um he forgot, I think, to do his live uh 20 days ago. And how Jana was sick. And and you can apply these. A lot of the stuff that I'm talking about today, I think you can apply it to um trying to stay on the beam. Um, but this is the part that no one ever wants to talk about is like when you fall off the beam and how to get how to gain that that momentum back, right? Like what to do um when you lose it. Uh, you know, when especially when when you were on a a good winning streak, right? Um, but then like life shows up, right? My bad memory kicked in. I forgot to do my live. Um, you know, kicking myself in the ass because I felt like I was so consistent. Um, but but then I got sick. Um, or I know we we've done this challenge, and not even doing the challenge, but we we were traveling, um, or work gets heavy, or the stress starts to pile up, or you're and and or when when your mood dips, right? Um, and you just stop. You just stop doing the stuff that that you normally do. And and now you're looking at the calendar like, man, I fell again. You know, and I don't know how many times I've said that to myself over the years, especially when I was a young man, like, how did I get here again? How did this happen to me again? Why, if I would have just stayed home tonight and didn't go to the bar, or or you know, these crazy, crazy, crazy things that I that I used to get myself into. And but this episode, episode three, three twenty-three, right? If that's not a better, a better example of consistency, right? Because momentum, momentum is the foundation for for keeping and maintaining momentum is is discipline. Okay. Discipline, consistency, and at times getting back to basics. Okay, and I'm gonna talk a lot about getting back to the basics or you know, or sticking to the basics so you don't ever have to go back to them. And I'm gonna give you two two big ideas today. One, one, I'm gonna call it the Mo Gap. Okay, and then second one is simple comeback framework that that I that I call the four R comeback protocol. Okay. And that's that's to uh recognize it, reduce, restart, and reinforce. Okay, no shame, no speeches, just bricks, because builders don't win by never slipping. Okay. For me, in those slips is where I learn. That's where I get built. That's what defines me on how I handle that situation when I slip. Okay. Not that I slipped defines me, but it's how I handled it with integrity, with honesty. I was honest with myself. I identified why I slipped and I learned from it and I try to remove those obstacles that I had put in place because I put obstacles, right? I don't plan things out very well, especially when traveling, and I get thrown off and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I got all these excuses. But builders, okay, not quitters, builders. We are builders. We're building ourselves, okay. The only way you fail is if you quit. I'm not talking to the quitters out there today. Okay, so none of this applies to the quitters out there. All right. I'm talking to builders. And and and when we get down into this conversation here, I don't want people to get this twisted. I'm not talking to the quitters. All right. I'm talking to those high-performing people who are harder on themselves than anything and anyone could possibly ever be. And they feel like they never do enough. So I'm not trying to sugarcoat this. I'm not co-signing some lazy SOBs. And one of my things that I set out a year, a year, two, I guess two years last year's and this year's part of my New Year's resolution was to remove people, places, things, and situations. And some of those people are lazy mofos. I just can't stand. I don't know when I identified it. It was recently I identified that I just can't stand to be around lazy people. I can't do it. I'm sitting here, I'm killing myself, I'm working, I'm busting my ass, I'm trying to solve problems on a consistent basis. And then they show up and they wreak the rewards from the fruits of my labor. And I just I can't take it. I I can't do it. Won't do it, can't do it. So, anyhow, but that you don't always have to be a loser. Hopefully, I inspire you to quit being a loser. You can quit, quit being a quitter. Okay. So, anyhow, first part of this I want to talk about is is is the gap, the mo gap. Okay. The gap is the space usually measured in days between the moment you fall off and the moment that you get back on. Okay. And that's that's that's very important because you know, after after a week of of not showing up, right, then it you're creating a habit. So that's why we created the MOGAP here. And and what what what it is, it it's very simple, right? You get a day, okay, because we sometimes need a day of rest, okay. That's it. But not how far you fall, okay, and how messy it got. Um, and how many times you've done it before. So, so stop stop that negative talk, stop that, stop that self-doubt and all that low self-esteem crap. It it's make it a small gap, okay? If if you if you fall off the beams, if you ate bad today, this morning doesn't mean you have to eat bad for the rest of the day. Okay, and and this is this is why it matters, okay. Most people don't lose their goals because they had one bad day. They lose their goals because one day turns into a bad week. And then a bad week turns into a bad month, and a bad month turns into, well, I guess this is just me, right? I'm a loser, right? And that's self-doubt. That's that's that's that's head trash talk, okay. That's the mo gap getting wider. Okay. Let me give you some uh some mo math. Some mo gap math. If you miss one day, okay, you get back on the next day. The gap is one, okay. And that's just uh I like to use the term speed bumps, right? We can get over speed bumps. And usually when I see a speed bump coming, man, I I throttle that gas and we just freaking hold on. Shut your mouth and hold on. We're going for a ride. Okay. But if you miss a week and you wait three more weeks to restart, that gap now becomes 28. Okay. Now, you're not dealing with the habit anymore. You're dealing with your own head trash. Okay. And that's a that's a sneaky place to be. All right. That that's that's that'll cost you a lot, all right? Because the bigger the gap gets, the bigger the story gets. And I don't know about you, but I tell myself a lot of stories. Okay. And the bigger the story gets, the heavier it gets to start, to restart. Okay. I call that the shame tax. Okay. Shame tax is the tax that you pay when you turn, I missed a day, into I'm a failure. Okay, you're not a failure. And shame loves to change charge interest. Okay, it stacks, it spirals, it makes the simplest brick feel impossible. But builders don't pay the shame tax. That's a skill you can work on. Okay. Not saying that we don't pay the shame tax. I do. And through that pain comes growth. Okay. Builders don't hold court in their own minds. No courtroom, no closing arguments, no dramatic speeches. Builders do the work brick by brick, day by day. So I want, I want it, I want to, I want you to hear me clearly. Okay. If you lost a Mo, you're not broken. Okay. I felt that way. I felt like I'm broken. This is the way life is going to be. And I just I keep playing those same negative conversations over and over. It's like it's on replay in my head. And it it's the first thing I think of. It's it's the last thing I think of before I go to bed. And it's it's the freaking first thing that I think of when I wake up. I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced anything like that. I'm pretty sure they have through the conversations I've had personally with some of my closest confidants like Vic and John and a few other people, but I've chalked it up to that you're just human. Okay. We're freaking human. And the human move isn't, you know, never, you know, I don't know. Like, I don't know. Our mind plays tricks on us. I guess that's that's that's the the point I'm trying to make, right? But who you surround yourself with and the and the stuff that you feed your brain usually should be something positive. So so so here's a scoreboard, okay? Stop saying, you know, or or ask yourself, ask yourself this question. Be honest. And these are all truthful questions. Did I mess up? Okay, but how fast did I close the gap? Right? Did I wait a week or did I get back on the rails the following day? That's the Mo Gap. Okay. Pay attention to the gap. Don't let yourself fall into a three-day spiral, okay? Get back on the beam. All right, and we're gonna talk about how to stay on the beam at at the minimum. All right, you're gonna set yourself up a little game plan here, okay? And when you get good at closing the gap, you become dangerous. And I'm and I mean in the best way. You can become dangerous, right? And it it just becomes reputation, it becomes habit, right? And if you're anything like I am, even at 50% steam, I'm doing still more than most people do on a day-to-day basis. And I'm not saying that I because I know that. I am saying that because people tell me that. I've been told that before. Like, dude, you need to just take a break, calm down, chill out. Okay I hear that more often than I'd probably like to hear, honestly. Now, I want to be real with you, okay, about why Mo gets lost. Because if we can name the leaks, if we can identify the leaks, we can fix the leaks. Okay, and I'm gonna give you three common momentum killers that I've experienced, and and I'm sure you felt these too. These show up in in a thousand different versions, okay. Number one, I'm an all or nothing thinking kind of guy. I either like you or I don't like you, or I'm gonna do this to the fullest extent, or I'm not gonna do it at all. Okay, number two, overload. Done that, been there, did that, overpromised, underdelivered. I'm a yes man. I never want to say no to somebody, especially when it comes to customers. Okay, and then number three is energy leaks. We talked about that a little bit last week. Um, so that let's talk, let's talk a little bit about the the the all or nothing thinking. Okay. This is the voice that says if I can't do the full thing, I'll do nothing. And I've said that I don't know how many times. If I can't go all in, then I'm not gonna do it at all. Okay. If I can't do the full workout, I'll do zero. If I can't eat perfect today, I'll eat trash. Now, especially while traveling, it's kind of hard to to to to pack a lunch, right? And and eat healthy and do the right thing. Okay. Now, I've done where I've even, you know, said to myself, well, it's got to start somewhere. Okay. So if I have to eat and I'm hungry and there's only like beef sticks, and typically I'm thrown off my routine when we're traveling anyhow. I normally fast, which is it's kind of easy to do when you're traveling. However, getting that one o'clock snack, you know, and I'm so used to eating, you know, two, three, four hard-boiled eggs, a yogurt, a beef stick, and all that stuff. I'm not saying you can't find that at an airport, but like, let's just say it's like 12 o'clock. I didn't realize what time it was. We're we're catching the bus to get to the hotel room. We get to the hotel room, and you're like, shit, I forgot to get that stuff that I needed at the airport because most airports do have hard-boiled eggs. So then it's like, all right, so then I go down into, you know, the the hotel store and they don't have hard-boiled eggs. They got bags of chips, they got freaking granola bars that are packed full of sugar, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. That doesn't mean I'm falling off the rails. That means I need to eat because eating something's better than going without eating something. So I'm gonna try to find the healthiest thing I can that I can possibly eat. And that doesn't mean I took two steps back. No, no, sir. That's exactly what I'm talking about. We're not taking a step back, we're doing what we need to do for our mind and body and our stomach. So we eat the best that we can. Try not to overeat the crap, drink a bottle of water to water down that sugar or whatever the crap that you have to eat, and then make sure you you have a healthy dinner. Okay, and stick to the rest of the regimen. Just because you're traveling doesn't mean that that, you know, and I heard someone say, I don't know if it was a podcast or if it was if it was a book that I was reading or something, but they were talking to somebody else, and they're like, Yeah, I went on vacation. And to me, vacation means, you know, I don't do anything that I do at home. I just sit around, I eat horrible, I drink a lot of booze. I'm on vacation. I'm my mind and my body's on vacation. Uh-uh. And I think this is what, at least for me, means zero days off. Zero days off to me doesn't necessarily mean I have to work 12 hours a day, seven days a week. However, there are some non-negotiable things. Exercise, movement, diet, rest, right? On vacation for me is rest. I'm rejuvenating my mind. And how am I supposed to rejuvenate my mind while on vacation if I'm hammering 100-proof tequila all weekend long? Technically, I don't think that's going on vacation. I think that's making your body work even harder. I think that's making your mind work even harder. Because whatever you're running from and that you're trying to lose it in the bottom of that bottle will still be there by the time you get home. Point blank period done. End of discussion. So, some of the non-negotiables, right? So if you eat like trash, your next two meals, don't eat like trash. Okay. Um, if I can't, you know, and I've said to myself, I can't write. I've been getting into writing, not necessarily pen and paper, but I I write, I have thoughts, and I jot my thoughts down, and I always feel like I can only write on Sundays. I used to think like that because that's when I feel more creative, most creative. Okay. Sunday mornings, the phone's not ringing, I'm not checking emails, I'm not doing this, and I'm not doing that. Well, I limited myself to one day of trying to remember all of these amazing thoughts, at least amazing to me, anyhow. Most people might think I'm crazy, but I find myself in the moments of like, I was talking to Vic before we went on the podcast, and I should have written it down, and I couldn't remember what the hell it was, but I had this, what I thought, and I'm sure I heard it before, but my mind was probably trying to process it and regurgitate this. Uh, I was trying to come up with like this um, because I was battling this thing, and that hence where all of this motivational, or I'm sorry, momentum, momentum conversations and podcasts have come from is my personal experiences. So I was trying to explain to Vic what I was thinking earlier, and it was like this this future negative thinking. Okay, like I was in this spiral, spiral, I was it, it was like this on replay of like of this moment that didn't happen yet, but I was thinking the worst, thinking the worst, thinking the worst, and I was ruining the moment, that moment that I was in at that particular time. It was sunny, it was 61 degrees, the sun was out, I'm on the golf course, and I played like shit because I'm worried about a meeting that's in three days that I didn't prepare yet for. Okay, and that's probably where most of the anxiety came from because I didn't prepare yet, right? And I knew as soon as I started throwing pen to paper, most of that anxiety would go away. However, procrastination was kicking in, and then the anxiety, and then the stress, and all the shit. And I'm just like self-doubting, and all these negative thoughts kept replaying. And again, I was going back to it, was like, you know, it was the last thing I thought of, it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up, and all these negative things were just going through my head. And by this time, I was so far out there that I was thinking that I was crazy. Crazy town. I went to Crazy Town, which I haven't been to Crazy Town for a long time. However, if you ever visited the six inches between my ears, you would think I lived in Crazy Town every day. Anyhow. What I'm talking about is uh you know disciplin disciplining your mindset and being present. Okay. Anyhow. So Overload. Let's talk about overload because I obviously overload myself all the time. Hence why I kind of got off track there a little bit. So I'm trying to build five walls at one time. Okay. I'm thinking about, you know, trying to stay on track of my fitness, my business, my family, my finances, my learning, my spiritual life, my relationships, and everything all at once. And now nothing has space. Okay. And half you people probably don't even think about half of those things. And it could be three things that might overwhelm you. Unfortunately or fortunately, I think about 10 different things at one time and try to accomplish at least eight of them all on time. Okay. And I don't leave space for anything. I'm mediocre at everything because I'm spread so thin. Okay. Everything feels heavy. And then I stall. Momentum loves focus. Overload kills focus. Okay. So remember that. One at a time, day by day, brick by brick, a win is a win. Okay. Energy leaks. This is something too that I worked on for the past two uh years worth of uh resolutions, revolution, res resolutions. Okay. So energy leaks. All right. This can be a sneaky one. All right, at least for me. Sleep's off. Food's getting off. I'm scrolling at night to relax. Right. So I'm telling myself, chillax. I'm gonna scroll. I'm gonna do some doom, doom scrolling, right? And then I'm waking up tired and I'm wondering why. Okay. Stress stays high, right? I don't know if anybody else has ever noticed that, too. The more you scroll, the more the stress goes. Okay. My my schedule is chaos. Um, I'm saying yes too much, you know, I'm not saying no enough. Um, and I'm carrying, you know, the emotional weight um that that I just can't seem to put down. And and then my battery gets low. Momentum feels freaking impossible. So so here's the good news, right? If if you lost the mo, okay, it wasn't because you don't have what it takes, because I I'll self-doubt, I'll be like, man, I just don't have what it takes anymore, or blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever horse crap that I I tell myself. It's usually because one of the three things showed up. Okay. Um, and I and I didn't, I didn't, I didn't have a reset plan in place. Okay. And and that's what we're building today, okay, is is gonna be that reset plan. Okay, it's it's the it's the the the the core four or no, the the four R comeback protocol. Okay. So so here's the framework. When you lose momentum, you don't need a motivational TED talk. Okay, you need a protocol, you need you need a tool belt movement, okay. You you need a repeatable set of steps that you run even when you're tired. Okay, the four R Carmack protocol is um the four R's, right? Recognize, reduce, restart, and reinforce. Okay. Let's go, let's go down this list one by one. Okay. Recognize is is is about naming what happened without drama, without an identity label. And this is where we stop turning a moment into a life frickin' sentence. Okay. So instead of saying, I'm freaking lazy, I'm undisciplined, I always quit, I'm a freaking mess, and I've said all these things. I've said all these things to myself. Okay. No, let's get honest. What happened? All right. Well, I missed three days. I fell off for two weeks. I got inconsistent this month. I stopped doing the bricks. Okay, that's honesty. That's exactly what happened. It's not because you're lazy, it's not because you're a piece of crap. All right, and again, I'm talking to the highly motivated people, not the lazy SOBs out there. And that's fine. Facts, not feelings. All right, screw your feelings. Nobody gives a shit about your feelings. All right. State the facts. Okay, because when you name it, you can fix it. Recognize also includes one more piece. Okay. When you identify, okay, identify the trigger. Like what set it off? What happened right before you fell off? Okay. Did I not plan well enough for my my traveling? Has has my schedule changed? Um, was it, did I have a tough conversation, or do I need to have a tough conversation? Um, was it uh a late night? Uh but what was it stress? Is it cold outside? You know, I've I've made all these excuses on why to stop working on and why to stop drinking water, why I stopped exercising, you know, was it me trying to go too hard too fast and there did that? Okay. So recognize the trigger, not to blame it, but to learn from it. Okay, identify the truth. What happened? How did I set myself up for failure? What obstacles did I put in place? And don't get it twisted. Life happens, and that's why you got to have a backup plan, right? Builders don't get mad at the weather. Okay. They pivot, they learn to adjust the freaking plan. I'm a builder, not a freaking quitter. Okay. Just because I'm used to walking outside for 45 minutes and it's cold outside and the weather shitty. Okay, great. I'm gonna figure out how to work out inside. That's what we do. We build, we don't quit. Okay. So here are three recognized questions you can ask yourself. What changed? Okay. What did I stop doing first? Did I stop getting on my knees? Did I stop thanking God? Did I stop drinking water before I went to bed? Did I stop drinking water when I got up from bed? Um identify it. What story are you telling yourself? Okay, what excuses are you telling yourself that you got to get out of your head? Because the story is is often the real problem. The story that I'm telling myself. Okay, big deal. I missed three days. Okay, that's real. Because if your story becomes I'm back to zero, okay. I just made three days feel like a life sentence. Okay, I didn't lose anything. Everything that I've been doing, every book that I've read, every diet that I've done, I know how to get back on track. I know what it is that I need to do. Okay, so screw the the self-doubt and all that other stuff. So recognize the statement, okay, that say say this to yourself. If I if I fall off for a week because my schedule changed and I didn't switch into maintenance mode, what what am I going to do different? Okay. What what am I going to do different this time? And the biggest one for me is planning out. I have to play the tape the whole way through. If I'm if I'm going to travel, and I I know I need to pack all my vitamins. I know I need to pack what I like to sleep in. I know there are certain things I can't take everything with me. Okay, but I need to play out, okay, what time are we landing at the airport? What time will I get to the hotel room? Will there be enough time for me to work out? What time are we eating dinner? Okay. And I try to keep things as simple as possible, but I also try to have some foresight into my plan of like what it's going to look like. Okay. But then I'm also going to have a plan B too. Like, well, what if what if we get in late? All right. Well, then maybe I should work out before I get on the plane. Maybe I should get up an hour earlier to work out. So planning plays a lot in this. Okay. It it it plays everything into it. And for me, I used to fly by the seat of my pants, but today I I try I try to plan a lot of things. Okay. Um, um, our number number two, okay, reduce. Reduce. Now, reduce is the power move most people, okay, refuse to do, all right, because their ego is loud. And I know I'm saying this for myself, right? Reduce means you lower the bar on purpose temporarily. Okay, and I'm not talking to you lazy people out there, I'm talking to you guys and gals out there that are so hard on themselves. It's okay to lower the bar just a little bit, okay, temporarily. So you can restart the motion, okay? Not forever, not because you're weak, because you're smart. When you're coming back, the goal is not to prove you're a beast. Okay. We all know you're a beast. You don't have to prove anything to me. The goal is to break the head trash so we can shrink the brick. Okay. And I want to give you a simple way to do that. All right. There's there's three levels to the bricks. And we touched on this a little bit last week, okay? Micro brick, minimal brick, and and your normal brick when life is normal. Okay. But the micro brick is what you do when you're on empty. And those of you that perform at a high level know exactly what I'm talking about when you just don't have any more strength in your legs or your back, and you're just on freaking E. Okay. It's almost too easy. It's five minutes. It's one rep. It's one page. It's one message. It's one minimal brick. Okay. That's it. Okay. It's small, but it's real. And it's the version you can do on a busy day. Okay. And a normal brick is what you do when life is normal. Okay. Life is life and life is going to happen. And here's here's why this matters. Okay. If you only have one gear, you will stall the first time life starts to get hard. Okay. If if it's all or nothing and life starts to get hard, you're just not going to, you're not going to complete any of your bricks. Okay. Because you don't have a plan B. But if you have three gears, okay, minimum, maximum, I call it maximum, but I I wanted to put it in here for you know normal, minimum, and micro. All right. So if you used to do a 90-minute workout on on your normal days, okay, reduce your plan. Okay. Re reduce the the 90 minutes to 45 minutes, okay, to for your minimal brick. Your micro brick, make it 30 minutes. Now, these might seem a little high for some of you, but my normal routine to work out is 90 minutes. I do a 90-minute workout. Okay. Now, I'll still get a 45-minute workout in on my minimum days. Okay. And if I know I got to be at the airport at 4:30 in the morning, I'm probably not going to wake up at like two o'clock in the morning. Okay. Especially if I play my tape the whole way through and I can kind of see how my day is going to unfold. I'll at least get up and work out for 30 minutes. Okay. But I did everything else. Okay. And if I want to work that the next 60 minutes when I get to wherever I'm going, that's great. But I already met that first milestone. I already placed the first brick. Okay. Before I even got on the plane. And I know I'm going to feel a lot better. Okay. Um, so reduce, reduce is how it's how you turn I can't into I can. Okay. And and here's the secret small, small is not stupid. It it small is strategic. Okay. Because the first brick back isn't about the brick. It's about rebuilding trust within yourself. All right. It's about making those promises come true and you not breaking those promises to yourself. Okay. That's what reduce does. It makes success inevitable. Okay. So if you're listening and you're like, I don't even have the energy to restart, then congratulations. Okay. You're exactly the person Reduce was designed for. Okay. It's got to start somewhere. One, lower the bar. Okay. Lay the brick. Let Mo come back. Okay. Our number three, restart. Now, when we restart, restart is action today, any time of day. Okay. Not tomorrow, not Monday, not when you feel motivated. Okay. Because you probably won't. It's today. Restart is where we stop talking, right? And start building brick by brick. Here's a rule I love for restart. Okay. The first rep is the restart. Okay. The first five minutes, the first paragraph, the first step outside, the first healthy meal, the first invoice sent, and the first page read. Okay. You don't need a full session. You need the first rep. You need the first step because the first rep breaks the suck. The first rep breaks the suck. And if you're struggling to begin, I want you to use this tool belt trick. Okay. Set a two-minute timer. And I and I used to I used to do this and I'll explain to you later. Okay. Tell yourself, I'm starting, but I'm not going to finish. Two minutes of movement, two minutes of writing, whatever it is, two minutes of cleaning your office, two minutes working on the budget. Okay. Nine times out of ten, once you get started, you're going to keep going. And if you don't keep going, you still laid a brick. Now, short story. When I was younger and I was trying to get sober, somebody said to me one time, just don't drink for today. It's like, okay. Just won't drink for today. I'll drink tomorrow. And then tomorrow would come. And I wouldn't pick up a drink. And I would say to myself, I'm not going to drink today. I'll drink tomorrow. And that's kind of where this theory or this philosophy came from. I was thinking about, you know, if one I know once I get started, right, I'm not going to turn back. So if you set yourself a timer for two minutes, okay, and once you get started, a nine chances out of 10, you're probably not going to stop. It just you got it, you got to get started. So if you're at home and you're thinking about working out, don't negotiate. Do the first rep. Do five pull-ups. Do one squat. Do one stretch. Do one lap around the parking lot. And I got a funny story about a parking lot. So this past weekend, I'm in the bathroom. Jan is like, I'm going to Lowe's. And I don't know. It's probably like 6 30, 7 o'clock. And I was like, uh, okay. I was like, do you want me to go with you? Well, if you want to, I need to get that. I'm like, well, I need some stuff too. So we got ready, went, went to Lowe's. We get the Lowe's. And Lowe's is closed. We're like, what the heck? How the frickin' Lowe's be closed? The parking lot is full. Like, literally, it was full. No one's going in and out. When you looked in the doors, you couldn't see anybody. It was kind actually kind of freaky. And I think most people in that instance would have figured out, you know, and it I think we got there, it was like quarter after seven on Sundays, they don't open up to eight, just FYI for anybody out there. I think it was, yeah, it was Sunday. And so it was like quarter after seven when we got there. And I think most people would have been pissed off. And we were not that we weren't pissed off, but we were kind of frustrated. So we were like, what do you want to do? I don't know. Well, let's walk. We walked the freaking parking lot for 45 minutes. I we didn't give two shits what anybody in that parking lot thought because there was other people waiting too, and we're were surprised that Lowe's wasn't open before eight o'clock on a Sunday. Um, so we walked. We walked the entire time. I'd say up until about probably five, ten minutes before Lowe's opened up for a good 30 minutes. We walked. We got we got half of our workout in. Although I think we already worked out. I yeah, I think we did. We already worked out. But anyhow, my point is we turned lemons into lemonade that day. We got an extra workout in. I felt good. I know I felt good. My energy level was through the frickin' roof. We went in the lows, we got our shit, we went home, and we made Sunday our bitch. And Sunday, what we were trying to do was we we had last-minute things. We had to get ready for the gender reveal party. Um, all the families were coming over, the grandparents, the aunts, uncles, and all that stuff were coming over to the house. So there were things that we wanted to do around the house. But long story short, we did a lap. It made me think of that. We did a lap around the parking lot at Lowe's. So, anyhow. So if you're thinking about writing, right, open up the freaking dock and start the first line. Okay, and that's what I have to tell myself sometimes. Okay. If you're thinking about cleaning, just pick something up, start moving shit around. And if you're thinking about the budget, open up the account and look at the numbers. The first rep is the restart, is the start. That's where it starts. Open the book, start reading for two minutes, set a timer. I did this to myself the other morning. I said to myself I was I was gonna read 15 minutes every morning. Okay, I read a couple books, and I didn't stop reading till I finished the chapter, and it was longer than 15 minutes. That's my point. Just set the two-minute freaking timer. If you if you want to start reading, read two minutes a day, read one page a day. I guarantee you you're gonna read one more than one page a day. I guarantee it that you're gonna read more than two minutes, okay? Or whatever, whatever the case might be. Go to the gym, start working out. If you don't know where to start in a gym, ask somebody. And I think that's half of our problem. We don't know where to start, and we don't know how to stay consistent because we don't have a plan when we show up to the gym. Okay. So here's your restart statement. All right, before today ends, I will lay one brick. That's it. And yes, it might feel small, and yes, it may feel unimpressive. Bed Nair did that, but brick by brick is how winners win. That's how builders win, not quitters. Okay. Our number four, reinforce. Reinforce is how we make tomorrow easier than today. Choose your hard. Okay. Because momentum is not just about willpower. Trust me on that. Momentum is about design. It reinforces, you know, reinforce has four parts. Okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna call them the I don't know, the the Mo Insurance. Okay, everything's about Mo. Mo Gap, Mo Insurance. Mo Money, Mo problems, more headaches, know that. Number one, remove friction. Okay. Number two, add a trigger. Stack your habits. Okay. Number three, track your wins. Okay, I talk about my workout journal all the time. Okay, I track my wins. And then number four, and for me at this point in the season that I'm in right now, is protect your battery. Okay, protect your energy no matter what. Get good rest, drink plenty of water, stay away from negative people, and fill your head with positive shit. Okay. All right. Mo insurance. All right. Ask what made this so hard. All right. And then what can I do to make it easier? All right. And I've done this. Shoes by the door, gym clothes laid out, water bottle filled. Okay. The documents already open. I show up the next morning. Guess what? First thing that pops up on my computer, the documents are already open. Okay. I set myself up for success. Okay. Um, lay the book on the pillow. Okay. That way when you get home tonight, you open the book up. You don't turn the TV on. All right. Uh put the healthy food in the front of the fridge, right? Set calendar reminders. All right. Don't rely on your memory, especially in the gym or anything else that you're trying to do. Document everything. Document, document, document. All right. Design the environment. Stop just floating through life. And I'm going to remember to do this. And I'm hoping that that has uh uh design it. Design your environment, okay? Um Momentum loves rhythm. At least mine does. Okay. So, so choose a consistent cue. All right. After I brush my teeth, I do my brick. I read my daily reflections. After I pour my cup of coffee, right? I go and kiss Jano on the forehead. Before I sit on the couch, I want to make sure that I got my workout in. All right. After I get home from work, X, Y, Z. Okay. Same trigger, same brick, less thinking. All right. Because we don't want to have to think about this shit all the time. We just want to create good momentum habits. Okay. This is big. Your brain needs proof. Okay. So mark it on your calendar. I use my notes and I use my calendar all the time. All right. If you have to write brick laid, brick done, brick accomplished. Win is a win. Okay. Put it in your notes. Not to brag, but to build evidence. All right. Evidence builds identity, and identity builds consistency. We talked about that earlier. Okay. Discipline, consistency, and stick to the basics. All right. Sleep matters, food matters, and stress management matters. All right. And your inputs matter. Okay. What you scroll, what you listen to, who you talk to, if your battery is always dead, momentum will always feel like a fight. I know you know what I'm talking about. So reinforce, right, might mean you set a bedtime. Or you cut the late night scrolls. Um, or you take a 10-minute walk for your nervous system. Do a reset. You're in the middle of a you know work day. Go outside. I've seen Vic do it. Gets up and he goes out and he goes for a walk. He does, gets at least 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes in. I'm sure his plan is to go outside and walk for five minutes, but next thing you know, after 10, 20, 15, 20 minutes, he's like, I feel pretty freaking good. I'm gonna walk 10 more minutes. Okay. Just start. Stop scrolling. All right. Or stop having the same draining conversation day in and day out, whether it's with people or the or the self-doubt conversation you're having with yourself. Stop it. Reinforcement isn't an extra. Reinforcement is the foundation. Okay, because the goal isn't to restart once. The goal is to close the mo gap the next time life hits. That's what it's about. The goal is to close the mo gap next time life hits. All right. Now, let's add one more tool belt piece that makes reinforce even stronger. Okay. It sounds simple, but it's powerful. I swear. If travel happens, then I switch to the minimal brick. Okay. I talked about that earlier. If work gets crazy, then I do the micro brick. Okay. If I miss a day, then tomorrow is a non-negotiable. Non-negotiable. Okay. If my flight traveling and all this crap and I can't just can't do it, okay, but I have found ways to do it. I've walked in airports already. I'm trying to kind of give you a loophole. All right. And that's usually times that we're doing challenges that I've walked in an airport. Okay. But the you can do it. And if my mood is low, then I still do the first step. Okay. This is your comeback kit. All right. Because you don't rise to your goals. You fall to your defaults. Okay. Your habits, right? You get back to the basics. Right. So choose your defaults ahead of time. All right. Plan that shit. And here's a phrase I want you to keep in your pocket. All right. No drama. Next brick. Or I like to say, no bullshit, next brick. Okay. No drama. No bullshit. Next brick. Done. Let's move on. Okay. Now, I want to give you one more rule that keeps the gap from widening. Okay. It's called the two-day rule. You can miss one day, but you cannot miss two days in a row. You miss one, it's an event. Something came up, flight travel plans, crap, babied sick, had to be at the hospital till eight o'clock in the morning, whatever. Okay. The rule keeps the gap small. Okay. It's simple and it works. Swear to you. All right. It's time for a quick segment. Let's do it, do a quick segment here. I'm calling this the brick rebuild. All right. If you fall off and you need a comeback brick today, pick one of these right now. Option one. Okay. 30 minutes of movement. Walk, stretch, push-ups, whatever it is. Option two, one clean choice. Okay. Drink a bottle of water, do some uh protein, veggies with the meal, whatever it is. Just one clean choice. Okay. Option number three, read that one page. Okay. Write that one paragraph. Just one. Okay. Option number four, one call or one message. Send the email. Send the freaking email. Make that call. Book the appointment. Whatever it is that you've been procrastinating about, do it. Option number six. One courage move. Okay. Say you're sorry. Ask for help. Have that difficult conversation. Just one courage move. Okay, pick one. Do it before the end of the day. All right. That is Mo returning. That's gonna boost your self-esteem, trust me. I've done it. I've practiced, I've done it a couple times, too many times. All right, so let me paint a picture. All right. Most of us start out strong. All right. We're walking every day. We're eating better. We're showing up. We're proud of ourselves. We're all patting ourselves on the back and we feel lighter. Not just in our body, but in our mind. Okay. Then disruption hits.

unknown 51:16

Boom.

Ty Cobb Backer 51:16

Trip, deadline, family situation, sick kid, tough week. I miss two days. And I miss four days. And then I look up and it's been freaking two weeks, especially phone calls sometimes. Sometimes that phone is a hundred freaking pounds. Right? I've been putting off, putting off, putting off. I gotta make this call, I gotta make this call. All right, and the biggest problem isn't to miss days. The biggest problem is the story that I start telling myself. It's I was doing so good and now I ruined it. I can't get back to it. I lost it. I'm back to zero. But here's the builder's truth. Okay. Becoming a builder is a skill. It's something you can work on, right? You're not back at zero. You're back at the next brick. Jump back on the horse, ride this thing out. Okay. And the walls, the walls, they don't care about your emotions. Okay. The walls care about the freaking bricks. All right. So we run the protocol, recognize, reduce, restart, reinforce, and then suddenly Mo returns. Okay. I recognize the fact that I fell off. Traveling broke my routine. Reduce. This week I'm going to do 40 minutes instead of 90 minutes. Okay. Restart. Today before dinner, I'm going to walk for 30 minutes. Reinforce. My shoes are at the door. My calendar has an X system. And my trigger is after coffee. And then suddenly Mo returns. Okay. Not because the person became different overnight. Not because I became different overnight. Okay. But because I stopped making it complicated. I kept it simple. I shrunk the gap brick by brick. Okay. And let me say something that might change how how you see yourself. All right. Restarting, and we talked about that. It's a skill. All right. And what I mean is it's like any skill. It gets better with reps. It gets easier with reps. If you've fallen off a few times, that doesn't mean you're hopeless. It means you've been practicing the wrong part. Most people practice starting. Nobody practices restarting. Okay. Think about that. Right? We all practice starting. No one has a plan B. Well, what if I fall off the rails? Well, you better start practicing restarting. Okay. But builders practice restarting. Okay. We that's what we do. We we we stop, we put the bat down, and we we go all in, okay? Because life is gonna life, and life is too short. Okay. Schedule, schedules will change, seasons will change, energy will freaking change. So your confidence shouldn't be in perfect condition. Your confidence should be in your ability to reset, to recover, rebound. That's where the true strength comes from. That's maturity, that's discipline, that's strength. Okay. And when you master the comeback, you stop fearing failure because you know you can rebuild. Okay, so stop fearing it. I don't want to close with one simple challenge. Okay, for the next seven days, it's called the MOGAP challenge. All right, for the next seven days, your only job is this every day, lay one brick, track it. Not a it doesn't have to be this grandiose brick, doesn't have to be heroic. And one consistent brick. Okay. And if you miss a day, you run the four R protocol. The very next day, you recognize, you reduce, you restart, you reinforce. Your mission is to keep the gap small. And here are three quick prompts you can use. You can use at night, every night. Okay. What brick did I lay today? What tried to widen the gap? Who did I allow back in my life? Right? What's my brick for tomorrow? At the end of the seven days, you're gonna feel it. Trust me. You'll trust yourself more. You'll have the evidence, you'll have the movement, you'll have the mow back. Okay. So today is episode, I can't believe it, 223 of Behind the Tool Belt, brick by brick, day by day. Progress is progress, and a win is a win. No matter how small, keep building. Encourage is contagious. And today we learn this. We didn't learn anything else. I know I did. Okay. Momentum isn't about never falling off the rails. Momentum is about closing the MO gap. Okay. When you lose MO, you don't need shame. You need a protocol. Recognized what happened, reduced the bar on purpose. And I'm not co-signing lazy people. Get back to the basics. Restart with one brick a day. Reinforce so tomorrow is easier. And before this episode ends, I want you to decide right now what your brick is today. One walk, one page, one clean choice, one call, one reset action, one courage move. Do it today. Mark the win. And let that be the proof. Okay. Because progress is progress, and a win is a win no matter how small. Keep building. Courage is freaking contagious. So go spread some kind of courage that restarts things. I'll catch you in the next episode of Behind the Tool Belt.

Speaker 3 57:04

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