Me Time How to Find it

In this episode, we explore the importance of carving out "me time" and how to integrate it into your daily and weekly routine. While prioritizing self-care is crucial, knowing how to find and make time for yourself is equally important to ensure it becomes a sustainable practice. Amanda shares five practical tips to help you achieve this magic "me time" for yourself.

1. Block It In Your Calendar: Treat your self-care time like an important appointment that you cannot cancel or miss. Look for time slots in your calendar where you can dedicate time to yourself without distractions.
2. Prioritize It: Think of yourself as the boss of your life and make the decision to allocate time for your self-care. Prioritize this time as an essential part of your week that you won't compromise on.
3. Hold Yourself Accountable: Commit to joining others in activities or groups that interest you. This will motivate you to stick to your self-care schedule and enjoy the benefits of sharing your passions with like-minded individuals.
4. Block Out Distractions: Create a calm and peaceful space for yourself amidst the chaos of daily life. Limit mindless scrolling on your phone and engage in activities that nourish your well-being.
5. Break It Down: Start with small, achievable time targets for self-care. Instead of trying to find an hour every day, aim for 5-10 minutes throughout the week. These little wins will build momentum, making it easier to add more self-care time in the future.

Remember, making changes and establishing new habits can be challenging, so be kind to yourself and celebrate even the smallest steps towards self-care. With consistency and motivation, you'll find more joy and balance in your life. Prioritize yourself and embrace the benefits of "me time" for your overall well-being.

Takeaways:

• Block dedicated self-care time in your calendar.
• Prioritize yourself and make self-care non-negotiable.
• Join groups or activities that align with your interests.
• Create a calm space for mindful moments without distractions.
• Start with small time targets and gradually build up your self-care routine.

Embrace the journey of self-discovery and self-nurturing as you begin to make time for yourself amidst the demands of motherhood and daily responsibilities. Remember that every step counts, and you are enough.

Here are the highlights:

(1:52) Scheduling your time 
(7:20) Block out distractions
(11:03) Time for you
(13:14) Breaking up time 
(17:00) Small goals

Transcript

Welcome to the Being Mum Podcast, the podcast for being a mum your way. I am your host, Amanda Forsey. Thank you so much for joining me. It is so important as mums to find a balance between giving to our families and giving to ourselves. And it's only by finding out what we truly value and care about, that we can live our lives in line with who we are and what we really want. Let's put the U and the Y back into mummy.

Hello, welcome to this week's episode me time how to find it. In this episode, I'm going to tell you some of the ways you can carve out some of that magic me time for yourself. It's all very well me telling you that you need to prioritise self care. But it's not enough. It is not enough on its own? You need to know how you can find it and fit it into your routine both daily and weekly. Or it just won't happen. Life will get in the way. And I don't want that for you. All right, how are we going to find it? How are we going to find this magic me time? Well, let me tell you. First, we're going to put it into our calendars like it's an important appointment that we just can't cancel or miss, it's important. Second, we're going to prioritise it and make it non negotiable. It's an essential part of our week, and we're going to stick to it. Third, we're going to hold ourselves accountable by committing to join others, this is going to motivate us and keep that time commitment to ourselves. Fourth, we're going to block it out and remove distractions that can derail our efforts and knock us off course. Finally, we're going to break it down into achievable time targets and small goals that are going to be easy for us to keep and build on. It's all about the little wins that encourage us to keep going. All right. So have you heard the saying that we all have 24 hours in a day think it was you know, we all have the same 24 hours as Beyonce? Well, I think we know as mums, that's not true, it's not true at all, there just isn't, a lot of our time is going to be taken up with things that we've have to do, we don't get to use all of our 24 hours the way that we want to do and there's a lot of jobs that we have to do the house needs taken care of the kids, your partner pets, if you have them. And if we don't do those things, then there's gonna be consequences and a mess that we're gonna have to clean up. So we don't have 24 hours in a day at all. But what we do need to do is make sure that with the time that we do have, we're going to fit in some time for ourselves. So one of the things that you can do is to schedule in self care and me time, like it's an appointment. If you had a doctor's or a dentist appointment, you're going to make time for it, okay, you're not going to cancel it, you're not going to miss it, you're going to put it in there, because it's important, and you're going to keep it. So we need to treat our me time and our self care time. Like it's just as important, just the same way, your mental health and your well being is just as important as your physical health. So what I want you to do is take a look at an average week for you and think, Okay, if I had to fit in a dentist appointment or a doctor's appointment, where would I put it, look at your calendar, find the time slot so that you know, the kids are completely safe, they're taken care of. Maybe they're at school or nursery or Daddy's going to be home. So you know that you're gonna be able to stick to this time slot, I don't want you to worry about what you're going to do with it. Just find the time slots, pop them in your diary and Promise yourself that you're going to try to stick to them. By creating these little slots for yourself, you're going to slow down in those moments. When you slow down time and you're more present in your life, you're going to then be encouraged to keep those appointments with yourself. And then you're going to find things that you want to do in those appointments. And it's going to encourage you more and more. And that motivation is going to build and that momentum is going to build and you're just going to really, really see the benefits. So I want you to give that a try. Put in some time for yourself in the diary, mark it in the calendar and keep it like it's an appointment that you've been waiting on. You got to stick it in there. Alright, are you ready for Tip number two, you've now find those time slots. And even if they're only a short 10 minutes, they are yours and they are in the diary so everyone else can see them too. And they know that's your time. That's Mommy's time. Now what you need to do is to prioritise them. I want you to think of yourself like the boss. This is your life and you're the boss of everything in your life. Sometimes we forget that. We get to make the decisions. We're the ones in charge. We're so busy reacting to what's going on that time gets away from us. I want you to make the decision on how your time is going to be allocated Do what you think is the priority? Here's the thing, time isn't going to magically appear for you, here's 20 minutes to yourself is not  Wouldn't it be lovely. And even if it did, say the baby napped a little longer, or your kids were engaged in a TV show, and you find yourself with an extra 10 15 20 minutes, what would you do with it, you would just waste it, you'd fill it with some of the tasks off your to do list or you'd sit there and scroll on your phone, you don't know that it's coming. And so you haven't planned for it. So you don't have anything to do with it. And so it just gets wasted. What you need to do is prioritise the time that you do have to do the things that you love. And to do that to recharge you, and to relax you. And to refill your cup. Once you start to live like this, you'll find yourself squeezing more little time slots into your week, because it's going to make you feel good. So you're going to want to add little extra ones in when you can, for me, I always have a book close by. And so when I find an extra 5 or 10 minutes, I can read a few pages, little by little, it adds up and I read a few books a month this way. I also have a box of handsewing, which is another of my hobbies, that brings me joy. And if I find a little longer 10 15 20 minutes, then I can take that out to do when you find the things that you love to do. And it can be anything from listening to some music, reading a book, doing a bit of exercise, anything, you're going to be motivated and excited to do it. And so when you find yourself with extra free time that you didn't expect to have, there's not going to be this indecisiveness of, Oh, what am I going to do with it, I'm just going to play on my phone, and you're not going to waste it. All right. This one is going to be really hard at first prioritising yourself, when you've been used to always giving to others is really hard. I know it's really hard, you're always thinking of other people first, and you just don't put yourself there. So I want you to know that it's going to be worth it. Okay, you're going to do this, you're going to do little by little, adding more and more. As you feel better, you're going to want to do more, I promise it's worth it. And it's going to help you create a better balance in your life. And you're not going to feel that resentment and feelings of frustration that you never have any time for yourself. Okay, so for my next tip, I think this might be the hardest one to do initially. But when we block out distractions, life suddenly becomes a lot more simple. I mean, you can become a lot more focused in our time. So our homes are absolutely chock a block full of noise and activity. Our children are just crazy balls of energy bouncing all over the place. It's a really busy environment. And there is always stuff going on. And it's always calling for our attention. Everything is always calling for attention. So when you do have time for yourself, and you have a moment of calm, even if it's unexpected, I want you to be able to have a place that you can go that is calm, it's a space for you in this chaos. For me, I've got a comfy soft chair in the corner of the room. It's got a bookcase next to it, it's got some books on there, maybe my sewing box. And when I get a moment, I make a cup of tea and I sit down in the chair. And it's not about oh, I have to do this. I have to do my sewing or I have to read my book. I don't I can just sit there and have my cup of tea. But it's a calm place that I can go. Okay, when I sit in the chair, I instantly feel

this is my moment. Where can you find calm place or spot in your home? Or in your life? Where could that be for you. So maybe you do a lot of pickups and drop offs if your kids are a little bit older. So maybe the car is your Calm Space. And you could put on some music in the car or listen to a podcast or an audiobook or just sit there when you're waiting and look out the window and let your imagination and your thoughts run away with you. That's fine. Maybe you've got a table outside in the garden or on a balcony that you can sit out with a cup of tea and just breathe and feel that lovely being outside feeling. You can go for a walk outside this is a really good reason to have a dog it means you're already walking them so you just adopt it as your calm time to and you can choose to go to places that make you feel good. Maybe you live by the coast and that's a beach maybe you live by some water or a lake or a river. For me I just have a lot of green spaces but their parks but I love being around the trees. I call it my forest bathing because I feel that energy from the trees I feel that fresh air and it really does lift my spirit and makes me feel calm. I want you to think about where you can find this calm regularly. What matters is spending time with your own thoughts without the distractions okay, this is about blocking out distractions. So this is really important with your phone phones are a fantastic way to connect with the world. But we have to be very clear on how we use them, if we allow ourselves to just mindlessly scroll, then we aren't in control of what we're exposing ourselves to. A lot of what goes on in social media or the news is negative. And when you just scroll, you don't really know what you're going to see, or how it's going to make you feel. And I want you to make these moments that you have about you about your thoughts. And it's your chance to connect with yourself, you can check your phone to see if the time that you're spending there is Mindlessly scrolling on social media, or if it's actually making real connections that nourish you. So for example, connecting with family and friends on a WhatsApp group, or with real people on a Facebook group that you're active in, does the interaction that you're having to feed and nourish you and make you feel good? Or does it lower your energy and drain you. So if something's not making you feel good, then unfollow it or remove it, if a friend is always posting about stuff, or they're very negative, you can unfollow them, without them knowing you don't have to see all those posts, it doesn't mean that you have to remove the friend, it just means that you don't have to get their daily bombardment of negative thinking, I know this is going to be hard initially, it's going to be really hard. But once you start doing it, it's like with everything else, little bits of practice that you'll get better and better, and you will just enjoy doing it. And it won't seem so challenging. All right, so something else you can do to find me time for yourself, is to join other people, other mums or other people that have got a similar interest to you, maybe there's a monthly class or a group that you can commit to going to, for me, I go to a book club at a local wine bar once a month, and it takes two of my interests books and wine, I get to go out of the house. And I get to talk about things that are completely away from my daily mum life, a little book, some I do filter into my life at home as well, by having it in my calendar and making it a priority. And because there are other people involved, it's a real life in person group, I show up and I commit to it, and I go, nothing is going to give you more motivation and encouragement than sharing what you are interested in what you're passionate about. And the fact that you're sharing it with other people that feel the same way about it. Sharing your joy absolutely magnifies it, it makes you feel connected, and it makes you feel part of the world. So I want you to have a think about what local groups might work for you. And it can be anything you can think of anything, literally something that you will enjoy. And that'll bring you pleasure. It can be a book club, or writing or drawing class, maybe you want to get outside, so a walking group or an exercise class, it could be a creative hobby, like painting or water colouring or some sewing. Maybe it's a singing group or photography club. I mean, it can be literally anything that you're drawn to. And if there isn't one already, you could always create one and start one yourself. If getting out of the house and meeting people is too hard right now, I totally understand it has been really difficult for me with four young kids. babysitters aren't easy to find when you've got four. So for me, I started doing things online, there are so many online communities that you're gonna be able to find the one that resonates with you, or maybe a few that resonate with you. Just because it's online, it does not mean it's not real, or it doesn't count, it really does still count. It's a real connection. And the important thing is that you're being mindful about it, you're choosing to engage and take part rather than mindlessly just scrolling the internet on your phone, or social media. So what I want you to do is try to find a group or class that actually meets up or gets together weekly or monthly. So it's something that you're going to commit to, and you're going to book it into your calendar is going to be a regular time slot that you are going to show up for. And you're going to share that joy and passion with other people that feel the same way. Okay, so step number five, the last tip, okay, this is actually a really important one, I don't want you to try to do everything at once. All right, I'm giving you these tips, you can pick and choose the ones you want to try. Trying to make massive changes all at once is just going to be too overwhelming. And you're going to set yourself up to fail. And that's the last thing I want for you. I want you to do this, right. And I want you to create these new habits for yourself and create a better balance for yourself. So I don't want you to try to do everything at once, that's going to be too much and you're not going to stick at it. So this one is you've got to break up your time and your activity, whatever it is that you're going to do to small manageable amounts. Okay, I'm going to set up this little task, I'm going to phone that friend, or I'm going to have that coffee date. Or I'm going to take the dog for a walk outside and a green space. And I'm going to break it up into small bite sized pieces, things that you can really achieve. That's going to give you those rush of feel good endorphins and want you to set yourself up to create that new habit so it's achievable. Once we get all these little wins. What's going to happen is they're going to accumulate into bigger wins. So like I said, with my book, I have it sitting there when I get a minute I pick it up instead of my phone. So I can read a couple of pages before I know it, that will add up to a chapter. And then before I know it, I've read the book, okay. And this can be when the kids are playing an activity, maybe they're colouring in, or they're watching something on TV, maybe they're sitting eating their dinner, I've made it, I've put it out they are sitting eating it, sometimes I sit there with them, sometimes I don't, sometimes I go, I'm just gonna read this book, it just depends if I make something nice, and I'll sit with them and enjoy it, but I've just made them pasta it with cheese on it, because that's the day that we're having, then I don't sit with them, I take that moment for myself so that I can recharge, before I then have to start bedtime, you have to be flexible with what you're doing. So yeah, the little wins, they add up to the big wins, and then they're going to accumulate to give you bigger results. So I don't want you to try to find an hour for yourself five times a week, what I want you to do is find 5 10 minutes over the course of a week, and those then are going to add up, and they're gonna make you feel better. 10 minutes might not seem like much, but honestly having it to yourself when you haven't had it, especially if it's a mindful 10 minutes. So you're really being with yourself connecting with yourself and really being present, you're going to feel the benefit of it. And and over the course of the week with five small 10 minute sessions, you're going to build that up, and then you'll have over an hour, and then you can add a little bit more, and then you might have an hour and a half. And then you'll have two hours, and these little wins. And these little goals will then motivate you to continue. And then once we do that, what happens is, we start to get the taste for it. And we really enjoy it. And we want more of that. And our body starts to work better, doesn't it? Like when you have a bit of chocolate, for me, I have one square, like, Oh, that was nice, then I'll have another one before you know what I've eaten the whole bar. And that's what this is like, because you're going to be nurturing and nourishing yourself with that time for yourself. And so your body is going to want more of it. And magically, you'll find it because you'll be looking for it, you'll be looking for that time and you'll magically find it. And then with that, you're going to build up that consistency. So every week you are finding these moments for yourself, and it builds momentum. So what I want you to do is just set some small goals for yourself and put them in throughout the week. And then just try to achieve them. If you don't hit them all, that's absolutely fine. If you only make one or two, that's okay, it's a really great place to start. And the more you do it, the more you get consistent with it, the better it's going to be. And it will snowball into making bigger changes in your life because you're just be motivated to add more time for yourself. And that's what I want for you. Okay, so we have been talking about the ways you can find me time for yourself how you can fit it in and make it part of your daily life. These are just some of the things that you can try and do and I really hope that one or more of them resonate with you and you give them a try. Making changes is really hard. We are human and we're creatures of habit. So making new habits means that we have to do things differently, which doesn't always come easy. Please Please be kind to yourself and know that even small steps in the right direction are enough that you are enough. Thank you for joining me for this episode of the being mum podcast. Please stay tuned and subscribe for future episodes. You can also follow me on Instagram at being mum your way or join my Facebook group the being mum tribe. I'd love to hear from you. And if you have questions or want advice, please do get in touch and join the online Facebook community