Ep #130: Doug C. Brown: Simple Steps to Sell More Without Feeling Rejected

Doug Brown shares simple steps on how to sell more without feeling rejected. Learn how to boost your sales and confidence!

In this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show, Doug Brown of CEO Sales Strategies, a Sales Revenue and Profit Growth Expert, and creator of the Top 1% Academy, explores the transformative power of transparency and trauma awareness in sales performance. Doug offers an exploration of how personal trauma can significantly impact sales professionals, often in ways that are not immediately obvious. 

Doug begins by discussing the multifaceted nature of trauma and how it can manifest in the sales environment. He explains that trauma isn't always about major life events; it can also stem from accumulated stress, negative experiences, and unresolved conflicts. These underlying issues can shape behaviors, attitudes, and ultimately, sales performance.

Transparency is a critical component in addressing these issues. Doug highlights the importance of being honest not only with clients but also with yourself. This involves acknowledging your own vulnerabilities and limitations, which while at first might be challenging but ultimately liberating. Doug argues that transparency fosters trust, both internally and externally, and sets the stage for authentic interactions. Relatability and vulnerability sells. 

Doug shares some practical strategies for sales professionals to address your trauma. He suggests incorporating mindfulness practices into daily routines to increase self-awareness and reduce stress. Doug also advocates for seeking professional help when necessary, emphasizing that there's no shame in asking for support. He introduces various techniques such as cognitive-behavioral strategies and emotional regulation exercises that can help you manage your trauma more effectively.

One of the standout segments of the episode is Doug’s exploration of the emotional and psychological barriers that many salespeople face. He explores the common fears of rejection and the internal struggles that often accompany the sales process. Doug shares practical strategies to manage and overcome these fears. 

Doug touches upon the broader aspects of personal development and continuous learning. He emphasizes the importance of investing in yourself through ongoing education and professional development. By staying updated with the latest trends and techniques in sales, you can remain competitive and effective in your roles.

Engage further with Doug by visiting his website at https://ceosalesstrategies.com/ and download the free ebook "The 1% Earner as well as additional resources, coaching services, and insights into improving your sales strategy. Connect with Doug on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougbrown123 and follow him for more expert advice on elevating your sales career.

Resources Mentioned:  Podcast  |

_____________________
We appreciate you, thank you for listening. Let us know in the comments what resonated in this episode, we want to hear from you.

Leave a comment, like, share with one person who needs to hear the message our guest shared.

Take our QUIZ and find out what your talent is worth in this market: What's Your Talent Worth (http://WhatsYourTalentWorth.com)

Follow us on Instagram:
Check us out on Tik Tok:
Work With Us

Transcript

Doug Brown: 0:00

Hi. This is Doug C. Brown with the CEO Sales Strategies Company, and we're going to talk today about how you can double your sales. And we're going to talk about how the mind your mind, can either help or boycott that process. So please go to the show right now and listen to the full episode.

BEATE CHELETTE: 0:20

And hello, fabulous person. Beate Chelette, here I am the host of the Business Growth Architect Show, and I want to welcome you to today's episode where we discuss how to navigate strategy and spirituality to achieve time and financial freedom. Truly successful people have learned how to master both a clear intention and a strategy to execute that in a spiritual practice that will help them to stay in alignment and on purpose. Please enjoy the show and listen to what our guest today has to say about this very topic. Hello and welcome back. Beate Chelette here, The Growth Architect. Today I am going to talk about something that a lot of you love to hate, hate to love, and that is sales, but we're going to take a completely different spin on it, because we are going to talk about why a lot of you are not comfortable with selling, why so many of you are nervous about rejection, and what it all means, and how we can solve it. And with me today is Doug Brown from CEO Sales Strategies, and he is the authority on the subject. Doug, I am fired up. Let's do this.

Doug Brown: 1:27

Thank you. Beate, it's, it's wonderful to be here, and I love the subject matter. So you might, you might find this interesting. We were just going through our podcast subjects in a meeting earlier, and the number one thing that came up is our topic today. It was the most sought after, requested topic. So I'm glad we're doing it on your podcast on this subject. So thank you.

BEATE CHELETTE: 1:50

I love it. So why don't we go and introduce you to our audience, to our beehive, and talk a little about who are you and what do you solve for your clients.

Doug Brown: 2:01

All right, who am I? Well, that's a long subject, but, you know, I'm a guy who had to learn how to sell at a very early age, and starting at age five and a half, you know, in my dad's business, and I really didn't realize that selling was actually a profession until I got to be in my late 20s, and where I really took a what I would call my first sales job. And now what I do is I teach people how to double their sales. I teach people and companies how to double their sales, and usually that's working with the sales team or working with the individuals who sell. And my life has been a myriad of ups and downs of fun and happiness and tragedy and triumph all in the same you know, when it comes to selling, we all don't have good even when you learn it, you still have some days where you're like, Well, this was a fun day, you know, but that's part of, part of the process, and that's, that's a little bit about me.

BEATE CHELETTE: 3:01

Thank you. Thank you so much for that. And I've been on your podcast that's all about sales. So we had wanted you to be on the show, because I do believe that the topic of sales comes up all the time. And can I just ask this question, sort of in the broadest possible way, what is it about sales that people have such a hard time with

Doug Brown: 3:21

rejection in their personal, inner feeling about themselves, and they tie the two together, that one is the same. That's That's what I think, that that most people have the biggest challenge with because they don't realize that sales is a process and that you're going to fail, and so when you do fail, if you take it personally as that's me as the person, then it becomes hard, right? Because we all don't want to look that way, at ourselves that way. That's what I found to be the hardest thing about selling for most people, the second hardest thing, which I think ties in, is they really don't know the rules to the game, so they're playing a game without the actual steps and stages and rules that should be played, and that's a tough one. I'm not a good dancer, but if I didn't understand the rules of the dance, I'd be stepping all over your toes. And eventually you might look at me and say, Doug, stop doing that. Right knowing you you do that right away. So it would be

BEATE CHELETTE: 4:16

I'm actually practicing the father daughter dance with my husband right now whose daughter is getting married, and I have been through that exact same thing over the last five weeks and and I'm just gonna throw this in here, because I think you're gonna probably be able to take that and run with it. So so the way he wants to learn, he wants to watch the video of the dance, because he wants to logicize What the feeling of the dance is by watching it, which to me, you know, and I used to compete in ballroom dancing back in the days, to me, that is ludicrous. Is you have to dance to feel what it feels like to dance. So if I extrapolate this into, say. Sales. Can I read the sales books? Can I watch the videos? Or do I actually need to be on the phone?

Doug Brown: 5:09

So E all of the above, right? So just as you were saying, he has his method to start to learn to feel safe, right? And this way it's watch videos. So some people will prefer to do something like that. And then they'll say, Well, when I feel a little more comfortable at that, then I'll get out live on the floor, where you're perfectly comfortable being live out on the floor. I personally would, would love to be live on the floor first, and then watch the videos, because now, after I've stepped all over your feet, and then look at it and go, How do I not do that again? Right? So we all have our ways of our dominant ways of learning and our dominant ways that we like to present ourselves and that in selling can get you in trouble. I was just having this conversation with my daughters the other day because somebody's coming through. They're very methodical and the way it was, my daughter's my youngest daughter's college professor. She's like, you know, you've got to write 60 pages on this topic, because the CEO would want to hear 60 pages on this topic. And they're all like, that seems a little excessive. And she's like, No, no, no, it's not. And I said, I asked my daughter, I said, is she, you know, few questions. I said, is she extremely methodical in her approach through life, and she's like, oh, yeah, constant, like, we're just talking about methodology and numbers and sequence and steps, I said, So that's called buyer's bias. And so she's selling you on the idea that she believes that a CEO has to have 60 pages. But I can tell you from myself, being in that position running companies, I would never read 60 pages. In fact, if somebody brought me 60 pages, I'd be like, we're done this meeting's done not-

BEATE CHELETTE: 6:47

Not, not a chance, not a chance in the world.

Doug Brown: 6:49

So we all have different learning types, and if we're not, if in when we're selling to those learning types that the person who's the person who likes to learn a certain way, and it's usually in language patterns that that we can tell then, you know, it's just communication. So, you know, he likes to watch videos to feel safe. You like to get out on the floor to feel safe. There's a middle ground, but we all have, we have to try all ways to probably master the dance, so to speak. So I want

BEATE CHELETTE: 7:18

to talk about, first the strategy part. And then I want to go into sort of the more spiritual and trauma part in the second part of the show. So from a strategy perspective, how do I find out what my own method is to make me more comfortable with sales because if I go to a particular sales trainer, they say, don't believe anybody, but believe this. And if I go to another sales trainer and say, Oh, that's just nonsense. It's all about the tonality. Then I go to somebody else and says, Oh no, no, no, no, it's the script, baby. You got to hammer down the script. How do I know which of these methods will resonate with me? You laughing? Yeah.

Doug Brown: 7:52

It's confusing, especially when one doesn't know, right? So the short answer is, what feels best and right to you. So there's a really good book called Sales Dogs. It's written by Blair Singer, and he it explains that a breed of dog is equal to somebody selling. And there's numerous breeds of dogs. Some people sell like the Chihuahua, some people sell like the pit bull, some people sell like the Labrador Retriever, right? And it's, it's, I like the book because it drives a point home that we're all individual, and we're all unique, and so the way we want to learn is one thing. The way we want to communicate, that's a different thing. Because now you brought up the word script, the challenge I have with scripts when they're so tight, the other person doesn't know the script. So we have to be able. We must be able to be fluid within their language of communication. And that's all selling is. Selling is communication. That's where people get, you know, they're like, oh, geez, you got to persuade No, you really don't. You don't we find a problem or an opportunity for the future that somebody's looking for. If we as the seller can fulfill that we have a match. That's it. That's sales right now, where it gets a little more complex, which I think we're going to get into. The second part of this is people have feelings and they have fears and they have, you know, desires. But when we're not playing Win win in the selling process. That's when the sellers then can go and try to persuade and manipulate to the point of persuasion, right? And that's where people go, Oh, I don't like that type of salesperson. Because who does? I don't like them either. And unfortunately for them, I'm, you know, very skilled at this. So when I see it coming, I'm like, Oh, please don't use an alternate choice. Close with me, and they'll be like, What are you talking about? Like, this or that or please. You know, don't use an assumption close because you probably learned this from Tom Hopkins. You probably learned this from whatever, right? So, but most people don't study this in and out every single day. So the reality is that. The communication can be used for greatness. It can be used for evil, right? We all know this. Some guy comes up to some girl and uses a cheesy, stupid line, and it's like, well, you're not using it for good, even if you're so our intention has to be the first thing that we ask. So if somebody is learning something from somebody, does it resonate with our intention? Because if it doesn't cut it loose, or if it doesn't, then you can study it, but only take the parts of what works for us. You know, our own individual because we're building our own personal dossier, or dossier of how to sell. But we have to be authentic and congruent with ourselves, otherwise, what will happen is we'll get into situations that will challenge us. Yeah, they and what will happen is people won't know how to respond. So it's that classic deer in the headlights, or worse yet, you get an objection now you're just starting to crush it, because we don't know any other way of handling it. So learning it's one thing, and then, as you said, getting on the dance floor, I'm a terrible dancer. I will admit that right now, I'm terrible. You could teach me lots of things in dancing, and you'd be like, Doug, move you move your body this way, because your partner's going to want to go that way, because you're experienced at those things. And so I become a better dancer, communicating with you, right? We will become better salespeople communicating with other people. And the more people we communicate with, the more we're going to understand that, oh, this person sort of falls into this kind of pattern. So this is the type of dance that works best with them.

BEATE CHELETTE: 11:34

Yeah, and I want to jump in here, and I want to cite, like, an example that literally just happened. So I'm on LinkedIn and on LinkedIn now I think that that there must be somebody who's selling like nuts to fitness trainer, this LinkedIn lead generation machine, I'm sure you because out of nowhere, I have like fitness after fitness trainer who works with high level executives just like me to help me to feel the best in my body, nutrition, health and Fitness wise, right? So this guy comes and says, Well, hey, you know, I'm taking my wife to Los Angeles, and it's a special occasion. Would you happen to know, like a really great steak restaurant? And I know this is a pitch, I know exactly where we're going with this, but I'm thinking it actually is unique, right? I have not heard that one before, so I'm willing to play here. So I said, Well, you go to Maestro on the Pacific Coast Highway, which overlooks the ocean. Or if you really want to spend some money, you go to Geoffrey's, which is where all the celebrities go. Inevitably, the next email is, thank you so much. I want to return the favor. That's classic sales script. This is, by the way, not a sales call. I just want to, you know, do a free 15 minute assessment. And I'm thinking it's the predictability of this that is such a turn off. If I, I mean, if you have a good opening hook, right, what do you tell people that if they find a good opening hook to not fall into this trite. This is not a sales call, the free assessment, the strategy piece, because I think that's what everybody's doing, right. I mean, that's what we are doing, right? We do offer these consultations, strategy calls. We call them uncovering sessions, opportunity assessments, whatever you want to call it afterward. But how do I take something like this and I make it so it's not cheesy or it's, I mean, I appreciate a good sales pitch, I really do. But if it's bad, sometimes I tell them, I said, Dude, that was horrible.

Doug Brown: 13:31

So part of the challenge in when people are learning sales or learning to sell, is a they have no training, right? Because a lot of companies, they don't do training. It's like, my sales team's terrible. It's like, let's look at the leadership down, right? Because there was no training, right? So they're making it up as they go along, so that that's number one, or they're, they're having training, but they're not having the right training again. Let's go back to the fundamentals. Boy meets girl. If boy is truthful with girl, girl will think he's truthful. If boy is not truthful with girl, she may think he's still being truthful, but then discovers he's not end of relationship in most cases, right? So you know, girl's not truthful with boy, and at least a problem, I can tell you that in the relationship, right? And usually end a relationship, there's no difference here. And so truth and transparency, that person who just did what they did is a classic bait and switch, right? I'll call it stake and switch, because they use stake as the origin my kid, my kids.

BEATE CHELETTE: 14:42

I like it. You made that up on the fly. Bravo, stake and switch. I should reach back out to him and tell him I just talked to Doug Brown. And he calls it the stake and switch.

Doug Brown: 14:54

You know it's like, but if he had have come to you and just been truthful and transparent, said, Look, I'm looking for. Two things. Number one, I'm looking for a great restaurant for my take my wife to. And I think you might know I'm also looking for clients, right? If you hadn't just been straightforward, you would have had one of two things. One, you would have said, these are the greatest restaurants I think you should go to. And B, I'm not interested in talking to you about this

BEATE CHELETTE: 15:17

because my son in law is a certified fitness trainer. Helped my daughter to lose 50 pounds after her, after her baby, and is in PT school, uncovered. Thank you.

Doug Brown: 15:27

So in that case, it's a no bueno, so to speak. Look when we look at leads, and this is where I think a lot of this comes in, but I'll finish this, and then I'll go to the lead thing. So if he hadn't been truthful and transparent, he might have been able then to ask you for referrals to who you think, if he was specific enough for your referrals, and assuming you know the member you just mentioned wasn't doing that, you might be he might be able to get a couple of referrals out of that if he was truthful and transparent. The challenge is, people don't have enough leads. The challenge is there don't have enough opportunities. And so what they do is they start to get scarcity mindsets going on. That scarcity mindset kicks in, and then they go, Okay, I'll try these, which I consider cheesy methods as well, right? And this is the ultimate in illustration. It's not in very good taste, but I love this study. And Boston University did a study. There were two guys who said, You know what, I'm going to go out in the middle of the summertime. I'm just going to walk out in Boston. I'm going to walk up to the ladies, they don't know us, and I'm just going to say, Hi, my name is whatever I'm I would love to go to a hotel with you right now, would Can we go now? These were psychology majors inside sociology, so they're studying this stuff right to see the reaction. And I saw your reaction, you recoiled. And you're like, What the heck? Really, they had, you know, brawn enough to go do something like this. But here's the thing, they actually got some takers. They actually got some women who said, Yes, I'll go. Okay. They were truthful and transparent. Now I'm not saying folks go do this with your prospects, not suggesting that at all. I call

BEATE CHELETTE: 17:08

this showing up on the first date naked that's in LinkedIn. That is the worst strategy. And I literally call it a showing up on the first date naked strategy, as you said, it can work. It's not a good approach either, and not, certainly not for longevity.

Doug Brown: 17:26

But I wanted to illustrate the point that they did get some yeses, right, yes because they were prolific enough in their prospecting, so they got very low positive response rates. But to their credit, they went out and they talked to everybody. So they they were playing the lot, you know, the wide number game, right? So when we look at a lead, we want to classify that lead. We will have some leads as indifferent, which means, hey, they're not, doesn't matter what you're talking about. They're not interested.

BEATE CHELETTE: 17:55

Yeah, I think that has a lot to do with that. The vetting is really misconstrued in in in the sales process, on where the vetting really comes in. And I think a lot of this has to honestly do with internet marketing and online sales where, where this whole dilemma of running as many people through the process as quickly as possible to to weed out immediately who even has potential, and it's just bad sales conversations gives really everybody a bad rep, and it makes people feel bad because they can't replicate this insanity that is being done, where they only want vetted qualified candidates in their calendar so they can close, Anybody can close, if you have vetted qualified candidate.

Doug Brown: 18:41

Well, that's a beautiful way of saying it, right. You don't. One doesn't, the more skills that we have, as long as they're used appropriately, will give us a higher conversion rate. But anyone who has qualified sales ready or sales qualified people can have a conversation and will get a decent close rate out of the out of the process. And by the way, going mass like that is expensive as a lead cost for people. And that's the other thing. They don't tell these people, oh yeah, you're gonna need, oh, I didn't tell you. Need 5, 10, 15, $20,000, a month to actually try 50.

BEATE CHELETTE: 19:18

Right now, with with the algorithm change, we know that people are spending unless you have at least $10,000 expect nothing. And

Doug Brown: 19:27

a lot of people don't have that, especially when they're solo sellers or they're trying to get off the ground in some type of business. And the other thing is, it takes months to dial that in, in most cases, right? Even with a budget, it takes months to dial it in, so you're going to burn off 20 or$30,000 likely easy just to dial it in. So you know, my philosophy on on selling is always been, let's look at the what works offline and adapt that to online versus what works on. Online, which, by the way, came from offline. But they try to make it seem like it doesn't. It's like this new thing, right? Because you can utilize certain online technologies to do things quicker, faster and less costly than we could at in the old days in offline. Right? In the old days, we had focus groups to figure out who our ideal client buying profile is, right? I mean, now I developed a software we can do this in few hours and we're done. But there's other software's out there too. The reality is, though, if we try and book our a week full of 40 or 50 or 60 calls, and we're getting one close out of 50, that is a really messy way on our psyche, right? So it's like the old days of making cold calls. Make 100 cold calls a day, you know? And you get two appointments type thing, right? I mean, there are companies out there that we like, Yeah, I'll be happy you get two appointments, two appointments, because you got 10 appointments. Out of those 10 appointments, we're going to close X percent. Well, that's

BEATE CHELETTE: 20:56

great. It becomes a numbers it just becomes a numbers game. I want to switch though, what you just said about because this is a great segue for us to go really into the second spiritual aspect of it, the mindset portion, or the fear of this. So are you saying, Doug, that if I look at sales from this numbers perspective, it's almost like I have no choice but to traumatize myself feeling bad about sales, because that's what I just heard you say.

Doug Brown: 21:22

I think if you look at it from a numbers perspective of how I was just talking about on the cold call side of it, then you, you're going to, we're immediately putting us in a position where we, I got anxiety.

BEATE CHELETTE: 21:34

You just saying that? Because I'm, you know, in my mind, I'm like, 100 calls and then two appointments, Jesus, you know, and to get to 10 appointments that it's

Doug Brown: 21:42

a hard road to go. But if you know how to make cold calls appropriately, it's not 100 to two. I can, for example, I can do 15 calls, catch three or four people and usually end up with one or two appointments, because it's a different conversation. I just had a call that came through the other day, and it was immediately, hi, Mr. Brown, how you doing today? It's like, okay, oh, God, you've got a cold. Is

BEATE CHELETTE: 22:07

this a good is this a good time? Can I for me? I always know, because I don't know how to pronounce my name. Hi. Can I speak to the Betty Bertha? BD,

Doug Brown: 22:21

see, it's a good screening mechanism for you and those type of calls, because it took me a while to even learn your name, but yeah, and I get, like, sometimes people come through and they call me Doug C, right? It's like, I sees my middle initial, right? So it's like, they're reading off a sheet, and we know that, and that's fine. I'm very kind to these people, because I know what they've gone through, because I've made 100 phone calls a day, right? I know what it feels like. So it's not a very efficient way of doing things unless you're very effective at it, and we can be effective at it once we know the skill set. But again, we've got to dial in that client profile and that ideal buyer. So But to answer your question, yes, I mean, it can, if we run our business by the numbers in the wrong way, it will create anxiety and stress in the if we run our business by numbers that tell us information to help us get better. It actually will reduce our stress. If somebody has a lot of leads, and then they're going higher on the lead count, but they're not getting any better response rate. I can concretely tell them it is in one of two things. One, the quality lead they're going out after is an interest. It's not the right fit. Or two, their messaging isn't that good,

BEATE CHELETTE: 23:45

interesting. So talk to me about now this piece of the spiritual aspect of seals, if I come from a background of any kind of trauma, right? So let's say that he didn't spend enough time with me, or and, or I feel that my mom was super critical that if I didn't get A's, my parents were disappointed. How does my old trauma play into my ability to make sense?

Doug Brown: 24:14

Well, most of the time, old trauma is still trauma that's present today. Let's take the A's one that's a good one, right? So I didn't get A's, I was beat up because I didn't get an A, I got a B plus wasn't good enough, right? And the message was always like, unless you get perfection, then you are not accepted or not, you know, by the people that supposed to love you the most, so to speak, right? That's kind of the mental connection we do as children, like our caretakers, we look up to them for in the beginning, we have to, because we're fully reliant on them as for our survival, right? So as we grow, we want to serve that, because part of us still thinks that we need to survive off. That and we and we all want love and connection. It's a human need, and so we want love and connection from pleasing those people that, you know, we look we looked up to, right? I mean, whether that is a parent or a mentor or, you know, maybe it was a coach or a teacher at school, you know, somebody who had this vast influence on our life in an emotional way. We want us to keep serving that. And so in the beginning, we need that for our survival. As we go along, we don't need it for our survival, but we don't remember that. We've developed a habit over time of serving that. So let's say we go into a sale, a conversation, and we think it's perfect, and then the person says, No, you know, it's not. I don't like this. Boom, we didn't get the sale. We might feel it as some type of inner pain or some type of feeling, or, you know, some type of inner anger that boils up within us, because what we're really saying is, I'm not getting mom and dad's love, or I'm not getting my caretaker's love, but we don't realize that. So it carries on in any situation, until we understand how to reframe the association to that component of it. The challenge is, most of us are on autopilot as we get older, because we're just big kids, because even at 62 if I get triggered off by something I haven't dealt with, I can easily revert back to when I was literally 12 years old or six years old.

BEATE CHELETTE: 26:29

How do you catch yourself, though, I think that's really the critical part. Is like, do you know, do you have, like, a system or something that makes you recognize that this is popping up? And then how do we keep it in check?

Doug Brown: 26:42

So remember, we got there by habit, right? So the first step always is awareness, because most people, they know something's going on, but they're not really aware of what the trigger level is. So it's always about the trigger level. Now that trigger level always manifests itself in the in the feeling in our body, or a thought, sometimes it falls, but like for me, for example, it always starts in the back of my neck. I recognize it. It's like a little creepy tingling feeling. And I have a second one that actually starts in the top of my head. It kind of feels like my forehead starting to go numb, right? And so when I get that feeling I know right there's the light bulb that comes on now before, I just thought I always had neck problems or back problems, or I was having a stroke or something that was out. I wasn't sure right in the beginning, until I learned how to reframe it. But for other people, it could be a thought. It could be like,

BEATE CHELETTE: 27:40

Oh, they break out in sweats, or they have this tone in their voice. A lot of, a lot of times I hear a tonality where I'm going, like, why? What is it about this that's stressing you out? Right?

Doug Brown: 27:50

Yeah, so it could be just like, you know, we're talking like this, and then all of a sudden I get a little more aggressive in my tone, or whatever it might be, or I get a little more demure in my tone, right? We always do it like I have a friend. I mean, man, she's, she could be, easily, be a model, easily. She's ultimately gorgeous, right? And, you know, her husband is equally, he's like, it's like Barbie and Ken. I mean, it's crazy. You know how beautiful they are as human beings, right? But when she was growing up, her mother was always with her saying, honey, you know what, why don't you do your hair this way, because it highlights your face a little better. You know that makeup shade, that makeup shade, is good, but I would use this shade. So what does this person do as she gets older, she starts self doubting herself in her ability, you know, like to pick the right lipstick color. One time I was traveling with them on a business trip, and I'm like, Hey, we gotta go. And she's like, I haven't put my makeup on. I'm like, you don't need makeup. She's like, Yeah, I do, and I so I'll be right down. I run down to their hotel room, and I knock on the door. She opens the door crack, and she goes, You're the only man who's ever gonna see me without my makeup ever, because we're such good friends. I'm like, What about your husband? He's never seen me without makeup. Oh, my God, right. So the point being is, when these trigger levels happen and we're selling, let's say we get an objection. The objection comes out and we, you know, think, oop, I'm not being perfect. Immediately, you know, something happens. We get a feeling or a thought. Now, those of you who are paying attention to listening to this on how to break it, here's what we gotta do. The moment you recognize what that feeling of thought is, we've gotta interrupt it. You can interrupt it by asking questions, or you can interrupt it by inviting it in. I invite it in. Now when I go, Oh, hey buddy, welcome. What do you thanks?

BEATE CHELETTE: 29:42

Thanks for showing up. What are you all about Next time

Doug Brown: 29:46

bring you, know, pasta salad or whatever, right? You get. You can play with this thing and and you can ask a question like and what I'm feeling or what I'm thinking is that's even true, right? You can ask questions like this to,

BEATE CHELETTE: 29:59

I love that question. And is this true? Yeah,

Doug Brown: 30:01

it's an interruption based question, right? So it's a question to interrupt what's going on, because if we don't interrupt it, wham, we go up to one side of the wire, up the other side of the way, and let's round. Yes, the moment you interrupt it, you've got to you interrupt it now you it will give you enough time to start asking questions. And what we want to do is we want to ask qualified questions that actually get us an answer. Like, is this true questions of curiosity. I wonder what could be one of the three reasons you just showed up right now in the back of my neck? Or I wonder if I have, if I'm having this thought about sometimes it's a flashback right to certain things, like I'm having this thought over and over again. So then we start asking, I wonder why, you know, what could be a few reasons why I'm feeling this way at this moment that gives us enough time to break the pattern. And then ask this question, what is it I really want? What is the outcome that I really want here? Well, I want the CEO to understand my point of view, and I want to understand their point of view. Oh, good. Now what do we do? Let's start asking questions of the CEO.

BEATE CHELETTE: 31:09

It's it really is always about this shifting, shifting over, over to this. And I think the important part is that you really detach yourself from the outcome to say, if I were to do this, this is what I would do it for, and I'd feel good about it, but if it isn't right for me, or if this is not right at this time, then I don't want to do this. And so I spoke to her just before we got on this call today, and then she said to me, our conversations made me realize that I do not want to put money into this problem, but I liked what we had talked about before, and I'd like to consider doing that after the summer holidays. So which one is better, right? So I think that we need to in this process that you're talking about the detachment. The detachment is so much in the beginning, it's very difficult. I'm going to be really honest here to share this with the beehive is in the beginning you go like, Man, I blew the opportunity. And she did raise her hand, and she did say she was ready, and then I wasn't able to close it. But when I look at what feels better for me, ultimately I don't feel good when I feel like I'm talking people into something. I feel better when I have a sale like the one I had a couple days ago, where I hadn't even gotten to the closing part, and she says, Here's my credit card. Let's just do it. A lot

Doug Brown: 32:30

of times we don't even need a presentation when we're having the right kind of conversation. So again, you know traditional sales as you have to have a presentation, right in your case, you demonstrated you don't because you're having this conversation. And she's saying, hey, let's move forward. So it's, you know, and those are great, you know, detach. Detach is a great thing, like, so when I I have a formula for handling objections, the first one, breathe,

BEATE CHELETTE: 32:57

relax. Yeah. Don't. Hold your breath. Don't.

Doug Brown: 33:00

No, no, you've gotta, like, the moment you get that objection, you gotta relax. Third one is detach, right? Because you detach from the outcome. You're not detaching from the conversation, you're detaching from the outcome. And I think that's what you're saying is as well. And then get curious, not confrontational. I learned this from Oprah, actually, Oprah Winfrey, you know, she called it surrender, right? Like, when she gets in a situation that she's just losing her mind over, she just, like, gives it back to the universe. It's like, you know what? I've done everything I can. It's back to you. Whatever happens. Right? First time I heard that, I was like, like, you said, this is really hard to do. It's like, but as now, time has gone on, like I can do it in an instant. It's like, okay, women, I have tried these four things. This is not working. Obviously I'm not doing something that's working, and maybe I shouldn't be. So let me give it back to the universe, and if it comes back to me, great. If not, I'm moving on, right?

BEATE CHELETTE: 33:58

I love this. I love this a lot. I believe that the surrender in sales is about, you know, and I like this book by Tosha Silver called "It's Not Your Money" And she has a prayer in there that has a line in there that says, take away what's not mine, so that what is mine can come in. And I find that really is the surrender that we are surrendering to in sales, to say, take away what's not mine. Take away who is not mine to serve, so that those who are mine to serve are coming in. And I found that always is such a such a powerful strategy. And if we teach this, then, of course, we must live it. And then that means that you then have to abide by the same kind of rules and regulations. Doug, I could talk to you about this forever, but we are at the end of the show. So for somebody who's now listened to this and says, Well, this guy is a little bit different in sales than anybody else, how can you help them? Where do you want? Where do we want to send them?

Doug Brown: 34:55

Well, they could send a if they want to just have a question, send it. Into you matter, youmatter@ceosales strategies.com we answer all inquiries that people don't believe it. They like send a question in, and they're like, they answered me, but we recently decided we're going to run out of double your sales, what we call a university, right? So it's a, it's a, it's a year long process where we're literally, I'm playing Sales Manager for people within this and what we're doing is we're working on everything you know, that's related to doubling your sales. So there's 12 core components mathematically that we could talk about. But then there's the skill sets and the mindset and all of the things that we're talking about, I have a an ebook on the 1% earner that's free, that people could go to. That's www.ceosalesstrategies.com/1 PE, 1 percent earner, and they can download the book, and people have given pretty good, you know, response for the book. So those would be the ways. And if they want to check me out, Doug Brown, 123, LinkedIn, and that would be the ways I would recommend them to start.

BEATE CHELETTE: 36:10

Excellent. Well, thank you so much. It's been amazing to have you on the show, and for everybody listening as you heard, sales is very much like what we talk about on the show, part strategy, part mindset part. I want to thank everybody for listening to or watching this episode of the business growth architect show. We are very, very grateful that you here. If you know somebody who's struggling with sales specifically on today's conversation, please do share this episode with them so that they can get their mind set straight about sales and as always, thank you very much for being here and goodbye. So appreciate you being here. Thank you so much for listening to the entire episode. Please subscribe to the podcast, give us a five star review, a comment and share this episode with one more person so that you can help us help more people. Thank you again, until next time. Goodbye.