Business Growth Architect Show

Ep #166: Devin Sizemore: How to Make Meaningful Connections—Even If You Hate Networking!

• Beate Chelette • Episode 166

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Hate networking? You’re not alone! Devin Sizemore reveals how to build authentic connections without feeling awkward or salesy. Learn the biggest mistakes, effortless follow-ups, and how to turn conversations into real opportunities. Listen now! 🎧🔥


Building a strong network does not mean you have to pitch yourself. Instead focus on creating real relationships that lead to meaningful opportunities. But looking at the neck breaking fast-paced world, we often struggle to form connections that actually matter. That’s why I’m excited to welcome Devin Sizemore to the show, an expert in networking and relationship-building who has helped entrepreneurs and business owners refine their approach. In this episode, Devin shares his proven strategies for deepening connections, following up effectively, and positioning yourself as a trusted resource.


One of the biggest mistakes people make in networking is focusing too much on what they want rather than what they can give. Devin explains why an abundance mindset—where you freely share insights and provide value without expecting anything in return—leads to stronger, more authentic relationships. We also discuss why tracking your networking activity is essential, and how measuring the right metrics can help you understand whether your efforts are actually working. If you’ve ever felt frustrated with your networking results, Devin’s advice will help you shift your strategy for better outcomes.


Another key takeaway from our discussion is the importance of authenticity. In an era of polished social media personas and carefully curated branding, people are craving real connections. Devin breaks down how to show up as your true self, whether in face-to-face networking events or on platforms like LinkedIn. He also shares why the best social media content isn’t always the most polished—it’s often the raw, behind-the-scenes moments that resonate most. By applying these principles, you’ll learn how to attract the right people and build a network that supports your business growth.


If you’re serious about transforming your networking strategy, this episode is packed with actionable insights. To dive even deeper, check out Devin’s book Connection Expansion and visit DevinSizemore.com for more resources. And if this episode gave you a fresh perspective, let us know! Leave a review, share your thoughts, or pass this conversation along to someone who needs it.


Resources Mentioned:
Devin Sizemore: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | Facebook | TikTok | YouTube

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Devin Sizemore:

Hi. This is Devin Sizemore, author of the Connection Expansion book, and also partner with million dollar author on my episode for the Business Growth Architect Show, I talk about the power and the need for real and authentic relationships, which is something that we're missing in this information packed AI-driven world today, yet when you figure out how to do it strategically and focus on others, it unlocks so much for you and your business and more importantly, for your personal life, when and if you need something from your network, if you want to learn the system strategies and thought processes to build your impactful and meaningful network. Head over and listen to the episode now,

BEATE CHELETTE:

and hello, fabulous person! Beate Chelette here. I am the host of the Business Growth Architect Show and I want to welcome you to today's episode where we discuss how to navigate strategy and spirituality to achieve time and financial freedom. Truly successful people have learned how to master both a clear intention and a strategy to execute that in a spiritual practice that will help them to stay in alignment and on purpose. Please enjoy the show and listen to what our guest today has to say about this very topic. Welcome back. This is Beate Chelette, your host for the Business Growth Architect Show. And today we're talking to Devin Sizemore and I and Devin is from the million dollar author. And what I love about this guest today is that he's going to share with you how to network and build up a network the right way, and the reason this matters so much, and why it matters to me, is because if I did not have this network when my house turned down and my community didn't step in and literally fed me with a spoon when I was unable to eat or have a place shelter or food, I would have been in deep, deep trouble, so I must have done something consciously or subconsciously, but Devin is going to give you the exact steps today. Devin, I'm excited to have you on the show. Welcome.

Devin Sizemore:

Thank you so much for having me. I've been looking forward to this conversation.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Excellent. So for somebody who does not know who you are or what you've what you do, tell us what you do and what problem do you solve for your clients?

Devin Sizemore:

Yeah, so I always start with I'm a serial entrepreneur. I've owned a lot of different companies and worked with hundreds of businesses, and I share that just to say, like my passion is business. I love helping people. I love business, and I love the art of business. In that I wear two hats. So the first is with million dollar author, which is the brand I'm wearing. We help people write, publish and promote books to create more authority and attract more right fit clients. And then the second hat I wear is with my book"Connection Expansion," where I help people build million dollar networks strategically. Excellent. So

BEATE CHELETTE:

let's dive into this idea of network. Your network is your net worth. There are a lot of networking clubs out there where you meet people. Is all networking, the same type of networking

Devin Sizemore:

I'm tryingto think about,

BEATE CHELETTE:

you know what? I mean? Is like me going into like a BNI, right? A a very specifically designed networking program that follows a very specific strategy, is that the same as other networking like, is there a better networking way than another? Is that bad or good networking? Yeah,

Devin Sizemore:

so it's such a fun question because my approach to networking is exactly the same, whether it's a coffee shop, a business event, speaking on a stage or birthday party, I approach it the exact same. However, the environments may force us into different styles of networking with different metrics and goals, and that may then force people to get out of their plan and try to adapt to whatever environment they are in, which may not be as effective as it could be.

BEATE CHELETTE:

I said in the introduction that if it wasn't for my network and for my community, I'd be I would have been in deep trouble when my house burned down. I don't think that I looked at it as having built myself a network. Is some is a network that I built? Is it better to like be deliberate about this, or is it an attitude when you go in?

Devin Sizemore:

Yeah, very few people are strategic in how they build their network. It's something that just happens over time. It's something that you stumble through, and yet it can still yield results, right? So it can be there when you need it, when you have an ask for your business, or, in your case, when you have a personal ask and you really. They need support in a moment of either desperation or something's just falling apart, or like we were talking about before we hit record, right when my dad passed my mom's network surrounded her right? Was her network intentional? No. But did it provide the results she was looking for in a moment of need? Yes. And so I think that it's both. I think that there is a way to tactically and strategically grow it so you can get more out of it. And then there is an innate ability in most of us to just create community and have some relationships that can be there when you need them.

BEATE CHELETTE:

How do I do it? How do I go about it? So let's say Devin I'm an introvert, and the entire point of going out and, you know, just talking to people randomly scares me. What do I do?

Devin Sizemore:

Yeah, great question. So I prefer talking to and working with introverts. So let's say that first. So if you're listening to this or watching this and you're an introvert, uh, congrats. Hey,

BEATE CHELETTE:

it's your lucky day.

Devin Sizemore:

As an extrovert, you tend to talk too much, which actually is a disservice when networking. And so what I recommend is I ask the same four questions when I network, I teach people to ask the same four questions, and rarely, if ever, do I deviate, because it gives me confidence in the conversation, and it will give you confidence in the conversation as well. So often people stumble through networking with this, you know, how's the weather? What do you do? And then they don't really know where to go from there. That's kind of like the beginning and the end of a conversation. And so I'm going to give you the four questions and kind of explain why I ask them, and this will empower any of you to be a great networker. And again, you could ask these questions at a birthday party, a coffee shop or business networking event. So I always start with, what do you do if you're if you're trying to do networking for business, it's kind of nice to know what the person you're talking to does. The next thing I ask is, how long have you been doing that? That's going to tee up our third question, but we want to know like, are they new to what they're doing, or is this something they've done for a long period of time? If they've been doing it for less than a year, we always ask, Hey, would you do before? Because we want to know what their previous network and authority is. If they doing it more than a year, we make a statement that says, hey, that's awesome. You must love what you do. They're then going to answer one of two ways. They're either going to say, Yes, I love what I do and talk passionately about it, or they're going to say something like, You know what, I'm stuck, and then they're going to talk to you about why they feel stuck, both of which are deep relationship conversations by three questions. And the last question I always ask is, who's a great connection for you? Or how can I help you? Because we want them to understand that we're others focused, and we're on a mission to add value to them, because that's really what they care about, and that will then unlock our ability to follow up and book a meeting with them.

BEATE CHELETTE:

I like this a lot that I've never heard that part is, wow, if you've been doing this for five years, you must be super passionate about and really love it. And then people either gonna light up, you're absolutely correct. Or they go and they tell you all their pain points, which is a very important information in a sales conversation. Can we talk about Devin now, if I have identified a need for myself, how can I ask? How can I put this out to my network and ask, because we are taught not to ask. We are taught to not ever need anybody. We are taught to give but not receive. What do you what do you tell your clients or the people you work with? Yeah,

Devin Sizemore:

so that is a great approach, and it is great to want to be a giver, to want to help others, but there are moments where you need your network to react, and so First, give your permission, yourself permission to ask, like, like, there it is okay, as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, as a human being, to ask for help, support, clarity, advice, all those things are needed, and you can't know it all or do it All, so please just give yourself grace and permission. Second, you have to make sure that you've been adding value to your network. And what I mean by that is when you're building relationships, you need to be making connections. You need to be providing resources. You need to be sending things to provide clarity or overcome obstacles. You have to be the one showing your network. Hey, I'm here for you, and you have to show that by example. One of my core principles is trained by doing right? So we want to train our network by doing what we want our network to do. At some point we're going to want our network to react to either a business offer, positioning for our product or service or some other need we have. If you've done that, Your network will then react quickly, because they're so used to man, you know what Devin has added a ton of value. Let me take this call. A prime example of that we talked about in the in the pre recording was I had to deal with the custody issue. It became an emergency, really quick. Quick, and I had to find a family law attorney who would take a consultation with me the same day, and in the next 24 to 48 hours, draft an emergency order and get it to the court. And anyone who knows anything about attorneys, that's almost an impossible ask, right? Like trying to find an attorney who will take a meeting with you and execute on the meeting in 24 to 48 hours. Like, it's just it's not practical on

BEATE CHELETTE:

on the single most emotional issue a parent can face 100% Yeah,

Devin Sizemore:

in a highly emotional time where all logic is pretty much gone, yeah? Um, I was able to reach out to a few attorneys in my network. One happened to be my business attorney, and just say, like, Hey, this is what I need. It's an emergency. Who do you have? They answered my call because I add value to them. They then send me three introductions, a direct text to the direct cell phone of the other attorneys and said, Hey, this is my friend, Devin. He's an amazing client. He's in an emergency. I need you to answer. I was able to call. I spoke to all three the second person I talked to was a perfect fit, and she before I was done talking to the third person had already sent me an agreement and a draft of what I needed before I've even signed the agreement or put a retainer on file. That all happened because my network is responsive when I need it. But that foundational work to make that happen, right is years in the making. Devon,

BEATE CHELETTE:

you said something really powerful. You said it's taken you years to do this. Do you have any principles that you can share around building relationships? I will share one that my dad told me a long time ago. He said, Before you tell somebody to flip off, make sure you never see them, meet them or need them again.

Devin Sizemore:

Yes, still true.

BEATE CHELETTE:

I love that simple, simple enough. With

Devin Sizemore:

my book, Connection Expansion, there are five principles I talk about. So let's talk about the five, because we've mentioned one right, which is trained by doing. And so if you want your network to do something which, in the My book's case, is to generate connections or referrals for us, you need to then make connections and give referrals. But anything you want from your network, you need to show, by example, the other four principles are, first, always add value. So you need to always be the one adding value. We've kind of hit that a little bit as well, but that's connections, resources, solving problems, connecting people, anything and everything you can do that's not your product or service to add value. Service to add value to others. The next is never make assumptions about a connection. So when you get introduced to someone, never ever make an assumption about them. You don't know them. You don't know who they know, and you can't put them in a profile bucket instantly. You have to be curious, and you have to have the conversation. The next is to take a meeting with everybody, which really goes with that. It's kind of that don't judge a book by its cover philosophy, because, again, you don't know. And then the last is control what you can control. So often in networking, business development, sales and marketing, we benchmark our success on things we actually can't control, which is not ever going to work because you can't control half the things you think you're trying to set yourself up for. So you need to control the parts of the process you can control. And if you go about building your network value, focused, not judging anyone, and controlling what you can control, you will start to see you're receiving more connections, you're meeting more amazing people, and your network is way more responsive when you ask it to do something than it probably is now, as I

BEATE CHELETTE:

have been now, the recipient of this avalanche of support that I didn't really know I had, and I didn't really know I had built it, but I had followed the giving or contributing and not being so stuck up about the results. Right? Oftentimes, when I speak to someone, my super skill of seeing what makes them unique or different, which is why I'm a podcast host is comes through, and then I'll just blurt it out and tell them, No, that's stuff that I probably could charge for so and then I sometimes I feel afterward going, should I have said that? So do you think that we need to worry about that? Is it measured giving, or should we just be reckless and free and give as much as we can. How do you handle that? Yeah,

Devin Sizemore:

so let me. Let me make one comment on something you shared there that I think is brilliant as well. The measuring is something we never do now. I have statistics for everything. Oh, go

BEATE CHELETTE:

ahead. I want to hear all of that. Do. And so

Devin Sizemore:

I say, don't measure it, but then I do track it all. And so what I mean by that is, so often we're tracking what you are receiving, right, and what you're getting back. But again, you can't control that, because I can't dictate other people's behaviors. So when I look at the control what you can control aspect, it's how many events did I get to? Did I actually get out of the car and go to the event? How many new contacts did I make at the event? Of those contacts, how many did I follow up with, of the ones I followed up with, how many did I book meetings with, of the ones I booked meetings with? How many did I follow up with? How many did I make connections with? How many did I add value to? How many that I then nurture long term? All of those things I can track, and I can benchmark my success against. And so those are the metrics we're tracking. And I know that if I make 100 connections, I'm going to receive about 30% back. So if I make 100 I would expect I'll receive 30 connections back. It's very, very stable prediction. Now, the more mature your network gets, the better those results will be when you're first starting. And might be a 10 to one ratio, might be 10% of your network, which is still great. But again, don't worry about what comes back. Track your activity and make sure you're doing enough to actually justify receiving the other thing that you said and I want to hit on is, don't gate keep anything so often people are so worried about over sharing and getting away the keys. Now in my book, connection expansion is the one on the top here behind me. I give everything, every script I use, the follow up sequence, the timing, the voicemail message, it is all in the book. There are two videos online that go in detail about the whole process. Why do I share it all? Because I want you to have and if you're a DIY er, or you're tied on money, and that's all you can afford, to capture the knowledge, to implement, I don't want to stop you. I want to empower you to go on that journey. Now, my best clients are not di wires. They're going to read it and go, Hey, Devin, I believe in your philosophy. Thank you for providing the value and the information. Now, how do we work together? And that's great. So share everything give with an abundance mindset and track the metrics you can control.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Does this follow the principle of releasing the best song of the new album first? Because if the first song of the album is so good, you go like, Oh my god, I wonder what else is on it.

Devin Sizemore:

Yeah, it's a great analogy. So yes, I want to give you so much value, so quick, that you can't help but lean in and go, Man, if this is how he follows up, if this is how he makes connections and adds value, and I'm not even paying him, imagine what his service offering looks like. Imagine how good the product is. And no matter who you are, and I've worked with realtors, financial advisors and billionaires, it's the same equation, because if they perceive you as highly valuable and you deepen your relationship quickly, it makes them innately curious about what else you have to offer. And most of the time they'll ask you,

BEATE CHELETTE:

how do you deepen the relationship quickly?

Devin Sizemore:

Yeah, so it all starts with the networking, which we've talked about, right? So all the questions I asked are about the other person. It's nothing about your elevator pitch. We didn't go there. It's nothing about how to talk about benefits versus features around your product or service. I didn't mention any of that because I want you to ask four questions. I want you to get their business card, and I want you to capture their contact info. You can control all of that. How you follow up is critical. Your follow up email should sound something like this, Hey, it was great meeting you at the event. I enjoyed briefly learning about you and your business. I'd love to schedule a time to learn more about you and your business so that I can make some strategic connections for you. Here's a link to my calendar. I look forward to talking to you everything about that email one, where we met, why we met, why I want to meet you, and it's all about the other person. It's not hey, it was great meeting you. You expressed briefly this random thing, and I want to sell you a house. Look what?

BEATE CHELETTE:

Oh, here's my here's my favorite one. Here's my favorite your profile is interesting. You sound like an interesting person. Let's put our heads together and see where our synergies are,

Devin Sizemore:

yeah, and, and then the next thing that happens is they sell you something like, if you wait long enough, the next message is, hey, by the way, I see you want this or need that.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Yes, yes. I mean, I think the in person networking, I love, I love the idea of less is more, is what I'm hearing so

Devin Sizemore:

and even for LinkedIn, if you're going to send a message, send the one you sent. But don't send anything else. People can't help themselves like they want. So bad to start selling and positioning and doing all these things, and you don't need to do any of that. I use

BEATE CHELETTE:

this. Can you how do you take them through the LinkedIn? Then are you taking them to a personal conversation before you do anything else? Yeah,

Devin Sizemore:

unless they raise their hand for me to sell to them, I'm always just doing connecting. And so this goes to the first meeting, my first meeting. I call it a connection meeting, on purpose. It is just a GET TO KNOW YOU meeting, and I want 80% of the time for the other person to talk, 25 20% of the time for me to talk, because I want to learn about them so that I can start to understand how to help them and how to add value. Because that goes back to how do we strengthen and deepen relationships? Well, I have to get to know the other person. They have to perceive me as a listener, and then I have to be able to add value to them. And when I add value by making connections, I do a couple other strategic things. I'm going to edify them in an introduction so that validates I listened. And then I'm talking highly about them, and then I'm going to endorse them to the person I'm connecting them with. So not only saying, hey, they're great at this, and this is what they do, I'm then endorsing them, both parties to each other, saying, here's why you need to meet your rock star. You're a rock star. You're targeting women. You're targeting women. You're going after these profiles. You should have a strategic conversation all of these little things, when we're others focused, when we're adding value and we're structuring the conversation correctly and we're not selling and defaulting to that mode deep in the relationship quicker, because their guard never goes up. Whereas as soon as you start using sales language, especially on LinkedIn, and you go past the simple message to all of these little sales pitches, or, Hey, I reviewed your stuff, and this is what I see, which is unsolicited advice, please don't do that and then you're trying to nurture relationship, their guard is already up, like there's so many barriers between you and a deep connection, whereas, if we just have simple conversations and we add value, there's no barriers.

BEATE CHELETTE:

How honest Are you in these conversations? And again, this is a self serving and probably leading question here, but I have really found that specifically since I've been through this apocalypse, that the honesty of not knowing all the answers actually seems to really resonate, that this polish showing up doesn't do as much as I thought. How do we actually need to show up? Because we want to show up as strong as a potential business partner, but you are saying, if you are an expert, or you're positioning yourself as an expert, you already are. So I feel like I need more answers from your line of explaining. You know what I mean? Everywhere I'm getting to Yeah,

Devin Sizemore:

for sure. So I think the first part of that is, if you're not comfortable in what you're wearing and what you're talking about and how you're positioning and your answers, there's probably a disconnect, right? So you're probably trying to force yourself into an appearance or an answer or a profile type that doesn't actually resonate with who you are, and that disconnect. People will notice. They're going to notice you're uncomfortable. They're going to notice everything sounds scripted and that you're not having genuine conversations. And so the best thing you can do is be open and honest. I do a lot of consulting with young, and young either means age or young in your profession, and the first thing I tell them is just be honest. If someone asks you a hard question, the best answers go, You know what? That's an amazing question. I haven't had to field that yet. Hey, can I take that note down and follow up with you? Would that be okay? That sounds so much more professional than trying to BS your way through some random answer, right? It's the same in the finance world. We do a lot of work there, and everyone shows up in their suits and wears their Rolexes and tries to position their wealth, which is interesting, because if you're managing my money, I don't want you to show me that it looks like you're making a bunch, right? Like, I want

BEATE CHELETTE:

to show I'm paying you so much. You can, you can, you can drive a Bentley, really? Yeah,

Devin Sizemore:

like, but for some reason, there's industries where that's become the norm. I would much rather that my realtor shows up or my financial shows up, professional, right? Like a polo and some slacks or nice jeans and a nice shirt and is put together. And we're focused on the knowledge. We're focused on the value they drive. I want to see how they ask questions. I want to see how they investigate and how they discover what I need, not just sell me something. And so to go back to your kind of core question, you have to be authentic, like you. You I can't. None of this works if you're putting on a facade, right? So you've got to get aligned with your values, right? You've got to understand your North Star, and then all of that should be fueling your why and why you're even going through this process. And if you don't understand that narrative about yourself, you got to figure that out. Because when you're meeting people and they ask like, Well, that's an interesting industry, why are you in it? Your answer needs to be something that's real. People, because that's what people want. It's the same for social media. The best social posts are usually the ones that aren't polished. They're usually the ones that you hit record in the car or hit record behind the scenes, because people want to see and experience real when we had our cat cafe, the best social posts were the behind the scenes. Here's what's going on, here's a setting up, here's the reality of the situation, right? That's what people want. And so if you can bring that into your networking conversations or your connection meetings, and be that real and authentic there, it's only going to amplify it.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Yeah, I like this a lot, because I do feel that we are also in a time where the external messaging is so insane that people are actively searching for messages that sound real, because people have gotten very smart, especially with all the internet marketing language. They know what's BS and what's not. They already know, like I already can tell by the way, the opening line in LinkedIn is what the next message is, if there's even a second message, because most of them now selling in the introduction, right? I'm The Growth Architect. Is amazing to me. How many people say, Well, we help architects and interior designers, and I'm like, your outreach sucks. So true. Do you think that in reference to internet marketing and outreach, do you think that there's a shift in general in the way we need to connect with each other, or is it business as usual and the stacks of cash, airplanes, all of that still works, but then this now is started as a counter movement. What's happening overall? Is there a trend that we can predict or see? Yeah,

Devin Sizemore:

so I think that, and I had an agency for many years, and so I love that space. And what worked then, that was good still works now, but what I say what was good, right? So good quality content still works, right? Authentic branding and imaging still works. Authentic messaging, real case studies, real testimonials, real people still works, showcasing your team and talking about them and edifying them still works. Now the show boating stuff, yes, it still works in certain industries, but it works in transactional industries where there's no lifetime value of a customer, right? You're expecting them to buy something quickly, possibly not leave you reviews and probably doesn't want to engage with you. But I play mainly in the B to B world, where I may have a client who's been with me for eight years. So I'm looking to nurture forever. I do a presentation at the couple colleges near me every semester, and it's all about marketing. And in there I go through the connection strategy, right? So this is how we build relationships. Here's how we shift our ask. Here's how we position ourselves in the five principles. And then I challenged them to look at how they could change that and pull it back into their marketing. How do we become more authentic? How do we lean towards user generated content? How do we engage in a very real way? And if you can solve these things and align your strategies with it, you will plant the seed for a longer customer life cycle and a longer customer relationship. In the world of AI and information overload, there is this craving right now for community and real connections and real people. I don't think there's ever been a better time in society to be the person that raises your hand and says, Hey, that's me, and I care about you. You should be on the forefront of that. If you're not, you're going to get left behind sometime soon. Oh, yeah,

BEATE CHELETTE:

powerful, really powerful for somebody Devin now who has listened to the show and either wants to find out how working with you and doing the book can help them or learn all your secrets. Where do we send them? Devin,

Devin Sizemore:

yeah, so first you can grab a copy of my book,"Connection Expansion." It's on Amazon, ebook, paperback, hardcover, or an audiobook. If you want to listen to me talk for an hour and 54 minutes, I will walk you through the exact system and process. You can always find me on my website, devinsizemore.com. V, I, N, size, then more.com. All of my links, trainings, videos and anything and everything you can want are on there. And then in the book world, it's milliondollarauthor.io, and yes, we didn't talk too much about books, but a book is a great tool to help you create your authority, tell your story and attract more clients. Love to see if it's a fit for you

BEATE CHELETTE:

excellent. And if we are, you are networking, and you happen to have a book that is a great tool to deepen the connection even faster and further quicker by handing out your books to or sending them as a follow up. I used to do that all the time. And that creates reciprocity. Devin it's been a pleasure to have you on the show. Thank you so much for sharing so openly and holding nothing back on the on the secrets that you shared, you're so

Devin Sizemore:

welcome. Thank you for having me and anything you need your network, my network, are all available, and I think it's such a timely and important topic, so don't be scared to ask, and we're all here to help.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Yes, I like this a lot, and I will say, on a very personal note, as we wrap up this episode, that the greatest learning, as I've said a number of times now, really, is when you have a challenge like the one that I'm experiencing, is you must have people you can lean on, and you must be able to be comfortable and have been honest enough for others to recognize who you really are, because that is what creates that deep desire, and with that, we say goodbye for Today until next time. So appreciate you being here. Thank you so much for listening to the entire episode. Please subscribe to the podcast, give us a five star, review, a comment and share this episode with one more person so that you can help us help more people. Thank you again, until next time. Goodbye.

People on this episode

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Beate Chelette

Host
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Devin Sizemore

Guest