Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future

Ep #193: Sheridan Ruth: Losing My Hair, My Husband, and My Life—How I Rebuilt from Zero

• Beate Chelette • Episode 193

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What happens when your body turns against you? For Sheridan Ruth, that question became brutally real. By 25, she had lost her hair, her eyebrows, and her lashes. At the same time, she faced the suicide of her husband and the collapse of her life in Colombia.


The grief, the shame, and  the pressure to keep going until it all came crashing down. Talk therapy didn’t work. Yoga helped for half an hour. Nothing seemed to last.


So how did she get from that breaking point to building a business and a life she loves? In this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future, Sheridan shares the turning point that pulled her out of the spiral, the practice that finally worked, and the method she now uses to help entrepreneurs stay clear and grounded when everything feels uncertain.


If you’ve ever wondered how to make better decisions when your emotions are running the show—or what it takes to turn loss into strength—this conversation will give you answers you won’t expect.


👉 Ready to align your business with who you are? Book your Uncovery Session here: UncoverySession.com
 👉 Learn more about Sheridan’s work: sheridanruth.com

🔔 If this episode resonates, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message today. 


Other Resources Mentioned:

Website | Podcast | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube

I'll create a PDF to download the protocols, available at www.sheridanruth.com/protocol



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Sheridan Ruth:

The biggest thing those moments really taught me is how much our body really dislikes uncertainty, yet that groundless falling feeling is exactly what we need it to create anything that we're going to enjoy when I was about 25 it was following my ex husband's suicide and the complete collapse of a lot of my life in Colombia. It kind of all came to a head and I lost the rest of my hair, which was incredibly challenging, I know that there's something in this experience of being in my body and breathing that is helping me, but it's not enough. And I came across somatic practitioners, meditation facilitators and coaches and wow, I do have control over my life to this day. It's one of the very best things that I've ever done.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Sheridan, you faced a massive loss. You're here, your relationship and your health. What did those moments confront you with? What were you forced to face?

Sheridan Ruth:

The biggest thing that that moment, those moments really taught me, that I have carried with me, the one thing that I have carried with me is how much our body really dislikes uncertainty and will do anything to keep us from it, yet, at the same time, how that groundless falling feeling in uncertainty is exactly what we need it to create anything that we're possibly going to enjoy, anything that we want we need, that that uncertainty and so so much of our work and our life, over and over again, is becoming in our bodies, safer with that uncertainty, safer with that groundlessness, and then re anchoring into something new and something that we do want.

BEATE CHELETTE:

So if we talk about this massive triggering moment, and for those of you who are listening to this podcast and are not seeing you, you have, you know, I'm pointing out the obvious, you have no hair, so let's just talk about what happened.

Sheridan Ruth:

Yeah, so there was a series of events that essentially when I was seven years old, we found the first ball patch, and that my hair fell out up until I was around about 25 and around about 25 I started losing my eyelashes, my eyebrows, and that was like, that was the hardest moment when I was a kid. It was difficult for many reasons, and I had a lot of shame, and I was bullied a lot. And these are things that other people experience too. This is not unique to me. You know, kids are mean, and it's hard being a young adult trying to figure out the world, and so much of my life was my body began to understand the world through I'm different. There's something wrong with me. People don't like me, people are mean to me. And started expecting those things, and then when I was about 25 it was following my ex husband's suicide and the complete collapse of a lot of my life in Colombia. It kind of all came to a head and I lost the rest of my hair, which was incredibly challenging, because it's one thing to not have hair, but to not have eyebrows and eyelashes, it really changes the way that you see. You literally see yourself in your face, in the world. And yeah, I was, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD at the time, and I was trying to build this, this yoga therapy and coaching business, and all of these compounding things all came together in what, in hindsight, was the perfect storm, to be the person that I am saying, to create the life that I have, and it for it to be marvelous and amazing, and for me to be able to do hard things. But in the moment, it was so much, it was overwhelming.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Take me through what you were going through at the time, because it's one thing now to look back and say in the law of polarity, we know that if it exists on one side, it must exist on the other side. So. I love that you found the other side of it, but that took some time. I'm sure it wasn't that you woke up and you're like, I'm gonna just find the beauty in all of this, and it's going it's going to be great. What did you really go through emotionally? Because I think our audience is experiencing a lot of hardship right now, or uncertainty, or just the question of, how do I stay calm in this insane world? Tell us what you did.

Sheridan Ruth:

So for me, a lot of it was like I felt like I was probably living in a bit of an emotional cloud in that everything felt like it was very heightened emotionally. And so I felt really sensitive to my friends reactions, and I would kind of have, maybe I'd get really irritated at them, and there would be, maybe, like, some toxic patterns and behavior between me and my girlfriends. We would like talk about each other behind each other's backs, and we kind of reflected this very judgmental space. I was doing a lot of eating to kind of quell and pretend the kind of like stuff, it all down, like so I don't want to feel this or kind of stuff it all down. I had a lot of attachment issues, and it was like keeping me in relationships where I was like, This is not a good idea, but I I feel compelled, like I have to do this. And it was funny, because I was so motivated at work that everyone loved it, and I would was very motivated to close these million dollar deals. And I was like, when I make this sale, and when I do this, and if I get this client, and I do like, I was so driven, and everyone really respected and admired it, but it was just coming from such an empty place, and I would kind of have these thoughts that would go back to superficial ideas of certainty and self esteem, like, oh, well, at least I have this much money in my bank account. At least I made this many sales this week, at least my boyfriend is prettier, more handsome than my friends. At least I look like all of these like little superficial things that are almost embarrassing to admit that my mind would go there, but they were the way that I was grasping and so, yeah, really grasping on that really high emotional reactivity.

BEATE CHELETTE:

So I'm waiting now for sort of this reveal, right? So now we're clearly going through a transformation. So now there has to be a moment in here where you go, something's not right, or this is something bigger than what I'm understanding, or am I running away from something? What was the process for you? Off this, this, this, this wake up trigger, so to

Sheridan Ruth:

speak. There were a couple. The first one was probably an I was seeing a psychologist, and I would go to her office, and I would walk there, and I just remember sitting on her little couch, and she said something to me, and I was like, you just don't fucking get it. What? Like, Are you kidding? And so I walked away feeling so disillusioned, because she's supposed to help, and just really angry. And then I went to a yoga class, and yoga was this something that I knew every single time I left yoga, I felt better, and I was doing it pretty consistently, because I just knew this is really good, this is feeling really good. But it wasn't addressing and changing the actual kind of it was just on the mat. And after the mat, like, I'd feel good for half an hour, and then I would feel everything else. And so then I remember it was like the next day, was Tuesday, and I was in my apartment, and I was overlooking these beautiful mountains and doing my own yoga flow, and I just like, broke out in tears, and I remember being so, I think, frustrated and curious, because it was like, I know that there's something in here, in this experience of being in my body and breathing that is helping me, but it's not enough, and there has to be something that is and, you know, this was, like, a long time ago. This was before somatics was a thing. And I actually just started Googling, and I came across somatic practitioners, meditation facilitators and coaches, and all of a sudden it was like, Ah, I can actually, I can actually feel and change what I'm experiencing. And wow, I do have control over my life and my thoughts and my emotions. And wow, things are actually starting to feel so much. Better, yeah.

BEATE CHELETTE:

I mean, you still were having to come to terms with these events that happened to you. They don't go away. I mean, the reality is, your hair did not grow back, and the challenges that you had couldn't be undone. But take me through sort of this curiosity, because that's what I'm hearing, is that you almost had a level of curiosity to go explore, and the shift out of this negative thinking into exploring the modalities. And I do want to talk about meditation, because I know how much you love meditation.

Sheridan Ruth:

She's lying.

BEATE CHELETTE:

She's totally, I'm totally lying. Stop listening and and, but, but you, you kept going until you found the things that work for you. So take us through that, because I think a lot of people do exactly what you said. They try talk therapy, and they go, man, this sucks. I'm re traumatizing myself every week by talking about the same stuff. And then the therapist has to stay in Gestalt. So they can't really help you. They help. Have to help you to figure it out for yourself. But they've heard the same thing like 1000 times. You can go like, Man, why can't you just like, help me to figure this out? And they're like, No, you know, that's part of therapy. So that doesn't work for a lot of people. And now here you are, you're frustrated, and then you're not frustrated. What's the mindset shift?

Sheridan Ruth:

I think it's a couple of things. Number one, there's such a difference, and you can feel it in your body when an inquiry from your mind comes from a place of genuine curiosity and like, oh, ah. It's intuitive, it's insightful. It's like, oh, and what if we try it out? What would that be like? Versus, I heard that this thing is meant to be really good. I'm going to look into it. Why isn't it working? That voice in your mind, is so different. And so what was beautiful about the experience that I went through was that it genuinely came from curiosity, and so much of my work since has been learning to return to that curiosity in all aspects of life, particularly in business, because whenever we put too much expectation or fear around something that that curiosity, it becomes tainted, and we encounter a lot more resistance. The thing is, though resistance is going to happen, it's, going to happen. You're going to it's this didn't work. I've been frustrated. Of course, I've been frustrated. I've went through a period of last year. I was like, I feel like we did this a few years ago,

BEATE CHELETTE:

and why are we doing this again? Yes,

Sheridan Ruth:

yeah. Like, oh my god, can we not just get over that already? I have that voice too. But there's a there's a skill in number one, learning to have so much compassion and love kind of saturated in your body, where you can separate from that voice and you can have the discernment and awareness and capacity to say, Okay, I see that that I'm frustrated. I see that I'm disappointed, and it makes sense that I'm disappointed because, yeah, I wanted something to help me and it didn't. That sucks, and also having other people around to help you do that when you can't our mind is a very tricky thing. But essentially, if we can always intend and try to come back to the part of us that is genuinely curious, because it wants more goodness in the world versus I've got to, I've got to figure this out. This worked for Jeremy, so it's gonna work for me. Like, this is what, this is what the science says. This is supposed it's, it's, this is supposed to work. This is, this is gonna be my thing, that's gonna like, fix me and like, and we say that, I say that almost jokingly, that that you feel that in your body where you're like, This is going to be the thing. It may not be. It likely will not be. It will likely be a part of the experience, and that it's hard.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Well, let's talk about meditation while we add it. So everybody says meditation is amazing, and there are many different styles of meditation, and a lot of people swear by it, but that was not your experience.

Sheridan Ruth:

Yeah, it's funny, because there is a lot of use for it, and I do. I have an emotional alchemy practice in my book that I really like that I think you could liken to a meditation, but I don't meditate. I what I do like to teach, though, is interoception, so it's developing the skill to feel what is inside of you. I My mind moves too quickly now, and I'm too excited by the world to go and sit for 20 minutes and be like what's inside of me. For some people, that's helpful, but it doesn't really matter, because what we're looking to do, the goal is to create some type of benevolent state inside of you, to increase your awareness of what's happening inside of your body, to identify with something beyond your thoughts, and to down, probably down regulate your nervous system. There are a lot of ways to do that. You can do that by dancing. Go out, go to like, you can just go dancing and do those things. You can look at a plant. You can, I don't know, jump out of a plane even, but I don't care how you do it. Find your own way, because it's the same thing. If we all decide meditation is so amazing, but if we all go in with this idea of like, Oh, I'm supposed to meditate. It didn't come naturally to do to you know, I tell

BEATE CHELETTE:

you, I had the hardest time with meditation for for a really long time, because my my brain goes really fast. My husband is a mountain bike rider. That is his meditation. It's that repetitive pedaling up a steep hill. That's how he gets into this repetitive mindset. My mother happens to pray a lot. I think that is her form of meditation. We know that from the studies of the brains of nuns and monks that pray a lot, they have a very similar brainwave pattern. What did it for me is that after my plant journey, I realized on how much the music brought me into this dream like state and the this emotion of hopefulness and positivity, and that's a lot of times when I don't feel like doing a guided meditation, I just sit there and listen to, you know, four specific songs that bring me there, that create this type of connection and emotion. So what I'm hearing you say is that it's almost like let go of the rigid rigidness as you are, trying to find something that helps you. So you tried all kinds of different things. So what? What worked for you?

Sheridan Ruth:

Well, I'm curious. I'd love to answer that, but I'm also really curious, if that's okay, what inspired you to go to plant medicine? What was that? Motivation? Intuition. How did it feel?

BEATE CHELETTE:

Well, it was something that I for sure never was going to do because it was stupid. And why would I potentially find out more things of the stuff that was really bad that had traumatized me after I've spent whatever 40 years in therapy and all kinds of things to get over it. And then I listened to a podcast, not unlike a podcast like this, where I heard a woman my age who had children, and she had done like, eight or nine planned journeys I'm going, that's ridiculous. And when she talked about that, it was really hard work, but there was but how enriching her experience was to feel this level of love and connection. Suddenly I knew I had to go. And when I went to plant medicine, every single thing I was afraid of happened, all of it, it was very hard, it was painful. It was absolutely 100% re traumatizing. I remembered a lot more than I had ever wanted to remember that I spent my entire life trying to forget. And then I was faced with this integration process, I think that we looking for modalities. This podcast about conscious leadership and conscious business ownership and conscious capitalism, which is why we talk about how to how to figure out what works spiritually for you, so you can implement strategy, so you can actually get a life that you yourself enjoy, founders of the future, living the future you yourself want to live in. That's the whole premise. But I think you can only do that if you find the beginning of the breadcrumbs or the beginning of the threat, and then you follow it and however you get there, which is why we do this show. Doesn't matter to me. That's why I love when you said that. You know meditation wasn't for you, because I'm like, everybody's gonna go, oh, oh no, but, but yet here you are, and you have found all these other modalities, including somatic release, which has helped me after I lost the house on the fire, tremendously, because it is in your bones. It's your. In your body. They say the issues, the issue is in the tissues, right? So, so take me, take me through that part. You clearly have a physical reaction. And you know, potentially, there's more than what we can see. You know, you said there was anger and there was emotional regulation stuff. How did you then go to the somatic aspect of things?

Sheridan Ruth:

When I was searching, I came across a coach who actually ended up, I ended up working with her, and I facilitated people through the programs that we designed together. I worked with a coach, and she just said, okay, and where do you feel that in your body? But she didn't say it in a way that was condescending. It wasn't. And this was also like, I feel like we weren't over that question, and everything became so and what is the emotion? And I focused so much on emotional processing, sounding the emotion, making sound in the shower, like feeling okay and so, oh, what is irritability? What is indignation? And getting like the and getting really articulate with the perfect like, kind of like flavors. It was almost like if I was a wine taste stuff, I was, I was getting that intricate with my emotions, and getting to know them on such a textural level, and feeling them in my in my body, and to this day, it's one of the very best things that I've ever done. I would just every 20 minutes of the day just ask, What am I aware of? And I would name one sensation, one emotion and then a thought process, and I was like, okay, cool. And my goal at that time, because I was so overwhelmed, was actually to get the emotion out of my body. I'm going through something really difficult, and it's really natural for this to create emotions in the moment. And also, I have a backlog of 25 years of emotions that I have never looked at. And it was very clear. And I teach this as well now, like once you start looking at those emotions, they do not have to make any sense, like you're digesting or processing maybe anger from 13 years ago. And you don't need to. You don't even pay attention to the story. And I went through life for years with that awareness of just okay. And what am I aware of? Sensation, emotion. And I would notice a lot of them, if I would just really meet them, not pretend to meet them, if I really sit with them and truly allow them to be there, not just if I allow this to be here, then it will go away. I would allow it to be here while I was cutting the potatoes, while I was having a shower, while I was on a call, I would learn how to hold this, oh, I've got this like frustration in my belly, and I'm in a conversation with somebody, but I'm going to be fully present in the conversation. But I can just hold this awareness that there's this like feeling in my belly, and a lot of the time just with that recognition, oh, okay, well, it would go and just by touching on it and letting it be seared and letting it feel recognized, it kind of processes through your body. And I found that helped things feel wider. That helped clear my mind up now that emotional kind of, let's just say, content or food wasn't feeding my mind, so I was able to think more clearly, make better decisions. That meant that I was able to experience less emotional turbulence. And then now it's still a practice that I do that's incredibly helpful, because it helps me process the world and understand how I feel and make sure that I'm actually in alignment in as many moments as I can be throughout the day, like return back to center. But yeah, what am I aware of? Emotion, thought process?

BEATE CHELETTE:

Well, that's the method you developed. So talk to me about this method that you developed. How does this help now a business owner to be better, to implement their strategies, to crush it, to make a larger impact.

Sheridan Ruth:

We both know this in our bones, that there's so much science to say that like humans who are emotionally intelligent, humans who are happier make better decisions, their brain has energy to make better decisions, to see things strategically. And people who are happier, you want to hang around them. You want to give them your money. You're like, yes, you can be smart, but I think more tangibly in today's being so many people are so so clouded by the emotional content of business decisions like what it means if I niche this way, what it means if I say things that way, what it means if this person says no, what it means. If I run out of money, what it means if I have money and see where money is coming in, see how do your taxes and like those really foundational things, or, I don't know, hire somebody, or make sure somebody's work is a really high quality, because that's a difficult conversation to have. Or fire somebody, or get really honest with yourself and see, am I, am I leading? Am I actually leading this? Or am I kind of pretending that I am and have the vulnerability to do something that stands out, that is worthwhile in the world. Emotions make that incredibly difficult, when you cannot, when you are clouded by them, when you let them make your

BEATE CHELETTE:

decisions. Thank you. So this emotional alchemy that you're talking about, you help people to figure out a protocol that they can get into a particular state. Tell me what it is exactly that you do and how it helps them.

Sheridan Ruth:

Yeah, a lot of it comes back to figuring out what the goal is, figuring out what's stopping us from getting to the goal like I think it's easier if I give examples we have mine, which is very much around processing emotions. But I work with a lot of people who don't feel comfortable saying no and don't really know what their yes is either. So they're overwhelmed because they've said yes and they've taken on a lot of other people's energy, other people's expectations, other people's desires. So for some times it looks like saying, Okay, well, what does yes feel like in my body? And where do I want to keep saying yes? Where do I feel my Yes, right? And then what are the what is the opposite of that? So, what is a no? What is a very soft No, such as, like, oh, I kind of winced. I noticed that my eyes winced. That is a no. Or I noticed that my body kind of like, pulled back a little bit. That is a no. I noticed that when I ended that call, I felt a little bit drained. That is a no. I noticed that when I open this message, there's a little like feeling in my belly that is a no, yeah. So we really have to get that same level of gritty detail around what is a true soul aligned yes and a soul aligned no versus what is fear based? What is love versus what is fear? That would be an example. I think there are other things, such as noticing your emotional response to discipline, because discipline and structure. That feeling of structure in my calendar, structure in my day, authority hierarchy, yeah, disciplines showing up and doing hard things. A lot of us have been brought up in conditions, or we've had parents where that has been quite painful, and then so as a business owner, a lot of the things that I've supported clients through is coming into a healthy expression of discipline, because I think you can think of it as I'll go there, because I think we can, but like healthy masculine you'll have this emotional, distorted feminine energy that is so much in their emotions, but also so lacking of structure and groundedness that you can't show up and own a business and make money consistently, and people don't really trust you, and they won't say it in words, but you'll feel it when you're not moving towards what you want, whereas if we can kind of learn to have a healthy emotional response and be really grounded. And so we did a lot of work with a couple of written clients about the corporal, somatic reaction to a schedule or a to do list or expectations from a client, and delivering on those. And okay, how is your body responding? How much of that is from the past, how much of that is your own expectations, how much of that is stress and challenge. And then how do you want to relate to the hard things in a way that still feels soft and helpful for you?

BEATE CHELETTE:

Yeah, so, so you help your clients, then to come up with, you know, first, understanding their own responses to this, and then you are creating a protocol. What is a protocol?

Sheridan Ruth:

The protocol is fairly simple in that it's a what do I do when shit hits the fish? What's the very first thing that I do? And then. Know, what's the second thing that I did? The first thing is, like the first aid response, like, how do I regulate my nervous system? What are my go to thoughts and patterns? What are the practices that I need to have in my day to make sure that I'm regulated? And then, what is the what are the bigger questions that I ask myself, or what are the bigger things that I anchor into? Does that? Am I clear when I say that?

BEATE CHELETTE:

Yeah, I think so. Because I think we are most of the time when we are in our daily routine, we are reacting to what comes at us, and you are telling me that I have to, or want to, or get to examine that when I have a noticeable physical response, like, for example, Tuesdays are my podcast and my talk days, so by about five o'clock, I'm completely talked out. But then I need to do the follow up, and I find myself running away from the follow up. Because, for whatever reason that there is, I don't know why, and I have to get myself back to this. So following what you were saying now, I would have to want to look into and say, Okay, what is it about that? It's like, Where's it coming from? Why are you not taking this extra 10 minutes and doing the follow up. Why do you keep pushing and pushing and pushing it? Why don't? Why do you, why do you have all these things open instead of just finishing and being done with it and moving and moving on. So that's what I'm hearing.

Sheridan Ruth:

Yeah, that's actually a really common protocol that I have a lot with clients with who tend to push important work back. I have a client, and she would come and she would do all of the busy work. And I was speaking with her yesterday, she's like, the biggest thing that I learned from working from you was, am I focusing on what moves the moves the needle? So her protocol is, every day, okay, what will move the needle? Okay. How do I feel about doing those things that will move the needle, and if I don't feel inspired to do them, what am I avoiding feeling? Because you're never you're never worried about what will happen. You're never worried about the actual task. It's what do you think you're going to feel when you're doing that task, or when that event occurs, that would be so incredibly uncomfortable. And then, what if you could feel that? So what if you could feel the constraint of sitting at your laptop to do something important for yourself for 10 minutes? What if you could be with the sensation of that and the frustration, maybe, of a client who gets really, like, she's like, I'm like, a teenager that wants to go to bed, but like, that doesn't want to go to bed, but like, you know, like mom is trying to put me in bed, and like, that visceral feeling I can

BEATE CHELETTE:

relate, yeah, I just want to get up and walk out of The room. That's what I want to do.

Sheridan Ruth:

Yeah, and so it's like, Can you can you sit with it and can you feel it? Or can you make that feeling different? Like, then we can be creative and be like, do we remove it? Do we change how it is? Do we bring some fun and pleasure in it. Do you do that while you sit outside with a board of cheese? Do you do it with some music? Do you like so we can play with it? And also, sometimes it's just about sitting with the feeling to prove to yourself and to prove to your body? No, it's actually not that big of a deal,

BEATE CHELETTE:

and nothing really happens. Nothing happened. It was fine. Yeah, every it was, it was, it was totally fine. I I'm with you 100% it's been something that, on a personal note, I've been really examining and noticing. And sometimes it's almost like comical where I'm watching myself. I'm like, Wow, you're really good at this. And and then I'm going, like, you know, this isn't really helping you in the long run, but you keep doing it. So it must be something that is worth exploring, but I do believe in that's why we want it on the show is to talk about things that we often don't talk about. We talk often about trauma, but what about if there's a physical, somatic release, and there's tools out there that will help us to regulate our nervous system and our our physical body to help us, in addition to all this other stuff, and everything is connected anyway. So for somebody who now wants to know about what you do and how you can maybe help them come up with their own protocol, where should we send them?

Sheridan Ruth:

Yeah, if you go to sheridanruth/protocol, you actually find a whole list of these written out so you can be creative and you can think, okay, how do I apply these things in my life and in my business? And also, if you find me on LinkedIn, Sheridan Ruth or Instagram, basically put my name in the internet, I am the only one you will find me well.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Thank you so much for having. Taking the time to be on the show. I appreciate you very much and your insights. And this was a pretty interesting conversation.

Sheridan Ruth:

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it, and

BEATE CHELETTE:

that is it for us, for today. Thank you so much for listening to or watching this episode of the business growth architect show, founders of the future. And I really encourage you after today's conversation to just pay a little bit more attention maybe that as you're sitting or you're performing your tasks in business, your strategic tasks, what's really happening in your nervous or in your somatic system, and maybe there's something in there for you to look at to help you to push through this next level of success and impact by just paying a little bit more attention to how you feel. And with that, I say goodbye. That's it for this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show, Founders of the Future. If you're done playing small and ready to build the future on your terms, subscribe, share and help us reach more Trailblazers like you. And if you're serious about creating, growing and scaling a business that's aligned with who you are. Schedule your uncovery session at uncoverysession.com. Lead with vision. Move with purpose. Create your future.

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Beate Chelette

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Sheridan Ruth

Guest

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