Limitless Female
Limitless Female
Helping Your Teen Scroll Less & Feel More w/ Andrea Davis of Better Screen Time
Struggling to strike the perfect balance between your teens' screen time and family connection? Andrea Davis of Better Screentime joins us to unravel the complexities of digital parenting, sharing her invaluable personal insights and proven strategies. Our candid conversation navigates the choppy waters of smartphones' impact on our children, highlighting Andrea's pivotal choice to switch her daughter back to a basic phone. We delve into the necessity of having a solid game plan for screen time management that every family wrestling with the digital dilemma can benefit from.
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Hi, I'm Emily with the Limitless Female podcast. You're listening to episode 130, how to Help your Teen Scroll Less and Feel More, with Andrea Davis of Better Screentime Woman. Welcome. If you're a mama who is feeling all the feels of motherhood the ups and downs of hormones and maybe even depression then you are in the right place. Limitless Female is your confident inner voice, helping you master your mood and create the epic life that calls you. My goal is to show you just how enough you are so you can show up limitless in your own life. Let's get started. Hi everybody, welcome back to the podcast. I'm really excited about what I have for you guys today, because I've been sitting on this for a while.
Speaker 1:I have this amazing interview with Andrea Davis, who runs Better Screentime. It is full of strategies and thoughts and plans that you create with your family ahead of time for your own screentime, for your kids screentime so that it becomes less of a stick point in your life, less of a challenging circumstance. Yes, you'll hear me in this episode. Yes, we do want to manage our thoughts around our circumstances, but sometimes we can change our circumstances and screentime is one of those things that I think really can affect our mental health with the way that we think about it, the way that we struggle to parent it and even the way we feel emotionally, as far as it goes with anxiety or depression, but also affects our kids. It can make it harder for our kids to sit with their feelings. It can make them really unfamiliar with what that feels like to feel a little anxious or nervous to be in public. It becomes this buffer that's always available to them, and so we need new thoughts to think and also a strategy to find confidence in Right. We can find confidence, but it's much easier when we have a strategy we can feel confident about, and that is what Andrea Davis is creating for people.
Speaker 1:She is putting so much good into the world, and I know that this is a hot topic for a lot of you. It's something that is creating a lot of feels like. It's creating a lot of stress in your home between you and your kids, and I also think that our own screentime use affects our emotional health, you know, in a very massive way, so I know you guys are gonna love this. Please leave comments below about questions or things. If I have Andrea back on the podcast, you'd like to ask her, and there's also a link below in the show notes where you can click and learn more about all the different programs that Andrea has for you. All right, here you are.
Speaker 2:Well, really, this journey started a very long time ago when my oldest was just a couple of years old and my husband was in grad school at Purdue and I had a really good friend there and she was an amazing reader. And I turned to her and I said, Rachel, you know, what did your parents do to instill this love of reading in you? And she said, oh well, we didn't have a TV growing up and I was like, really, I was just intrigued, I was fascinated, and so I went home. I told my husband, Tyler said what would you think if we put the TV in the closet and we just use it like an appliance? So we're not getting rid of it, but we just pull it out for family movie night? And he's not really into sports, so it was an easy sell, yeah. And he was like Sure, and so we did that and just, we were that family that we really were trying to prioritize that connection and playtime. And we pulled the TV out for the Olympics and the family movie night and it was. It was wonderful and great.
Speaker 2:Well, fast forward years later and of course a lot of things change, namely technology.
Speaker 2:But our family moved from Illinois to Oregon, where we now live and our oldest was 12 years old at the time and she was leaving behind these friends that were starting to get phones, because this was middle school and we were in this new place where we didn't know anyone, and so we handed over an abandoned smartphone to her as a communication tool and we thought she can keep in touch with her friends she left behind.
Speaker 2:We can get a hold of her in this place where we don't know anyone. And months passed and you know, she came home from school one day and she was spooning her after school snack or bowl of cereal in her mouth like this with one hand, and then she was doing this with the other and she's scrolling yeah, I'm not talking to me and I thought, hey, this used to be one of those moments when we would have a conversation about hey, how was your day? And it was a time of connection, and I could see that this device was getting in the way of that. Well, fast forward a few months after that and you know, of course, all kinds of social media have started popping up on the phone. We have to remember that this was before Apple screen time even existed. This really was the wild west days of smartphones.
Speaker 1:I remember giving my kids like an iPad in the car and then constantly accidentally getting out of the show they were in and being like why are there no like parental controls on these? I remember that time. Where are the controls?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, and there really weren't any. I mean, there were some third party ones, but then anyway, long story. But I just really could see that our family dynamic was changing, that things were shifting and really felt like we needed to hit the reset button. And so I talked to Tyler, did a lot of reading and education on it and we said goodbye to the smartphone. We went back to an old style brick phone and there were lots of tears. It was really painful and hard for my daughter. It was hard for us that was.
Speaker 1:My question was because we had to do that. We had to walk it back, and I feel, like probably most people, that's the case, because they don't find your course until it's become a problem. Yeah, and then so walking, what was that like? Having to walk it back after him already having a phone?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it was. It was painful because once you've already had that device, it's hard to go back. So, yeah, she definitely stuffed the brick phone into her backpack and really, really pulled it out. I mean, she was, of course, mortified and embarrassed, but it was then this journey of starting over, and that was when I realized that parents needed a lot more help, because I really I thought you know, if I, as someone who's put the TV in the closet, even kind of jumped into this with really out, without preparing my daughter and preparing ourselves, I just know that parents everywhere experiencing this so that really was when better screen time was born.
Speaker 2:And so we started this journey of having these tech talks and conversations with our kids. And my background is in teaching, and so that was a way for me to utilize, you know, the passion that I have and skills, and I just turned that to teaching parents instead and teaching families, and really, just, my goal is to help parents worry less about tech and connect more with our kids, because that really, to me, is what matters most.
Speaker 1:So don't you feel like when we're worried about tech, it's like it also adds disconnection, so it's not just the tech that's taking up time, but then our like our frustration with it and then, therefore, our frustration with our kids, and it creates this disconnect because they don't feel like we get them and like I just feel like it adds this whole other thing that we could argue about or yes, right, yes, yeah, exactly, it's a tool that can be misused and definitely it can become a wedge in relationships.
Speaker 2:Exactly, you nailed it, yeah.
Speaker 1:So for me, like I want to share a little bit about my story and why I found you, because I think so many women can relate. It's such a pain point. It's not this small thing and I know you remember that and I'm sure in your you know working with moms that you see this all the time. It's no small thing, it's you think you have an under control and then you read a text or it. For, honestly, for me it wasn't even something really terrible. It just dawned on me that, like I had to kind of look at everything through a new lens. And this has been new for me, real about modesty, about just the way I teach the gospel versus the way my parents taught it to me. Tech, because it's different than when I grew up. So I feel like I'm parenting from scratch, even though we all are. It feels like really from scratch right.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, yeah. So I'm like sitting there trying to figure out like how do I want to teach modesty and how do I want to teach about tech? And it dawned on me that them having access to their phone and texting, even though it was plugged in on the counter 24 seven, was like them being able to go into like a chat room any time of day where I'm not, no one can walk in on the conversation.
Speaker 1:I can't overhear and connect with them. Like none of that is possible, right, even on the old corded phones. Like you could walk around the wall and that was it. Like, downstairs, like your mom can see how long you're on the phone with your boyfriend, right, like I get to say hello to the person who calls and go get my child and give them the phone. Right, all of those things are gone.
Speaker 1:So I had to like all of a sudden reevaluate what is this like compared to me growing up, because I had things decided ahead of time. Like we're always going to have the computer in the main living area. That was one like I made ahead of time, but now that's kind of obsolete because phones are like little computers, right, and I find myself all the time making new decisions. And one of the things I loved about your program is that you you have the parents make decisions ahead of time and also share them with the kids, because I feel like sometimes it feels so silly to our children when and rules for very arbitrary, when we're like picking them, making them in the moment right.
Speaker 1:Not this anymore, and when we're scared it's out of fear, right, it's not the emotion we wanted to come from. So for me, walking it back was really intense and I also felt this urgency like I don't have time to learn all the things. I didn't even feel like I had time to like set up bark on his phone, and so your course also really helped take away the fear that was not my best motivator and slow things down and also bring me into the picture as a parent and my own screen time, things like that and bring my kids into the conversation which they really wanted to be a part of. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. It's a real point. And I mean that really is the point, because I also was parenting from that place of fear. Once I saw where this could lead and we backtracked, I thought this isn't just about you know, slowing down, it's also about me and where is my mindset and where am I coming from and can I parent from a place of confidence and calm rather than this place of fear? And it's just so easy for us as parents, when it comes to technology, to parent from that place, from that place of fear.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I don't know if you're familiar with the type of coaching that I do, but, right, I'm not usually offering strategies and I'm coaching people on their thoughts. But to be a confident parent often we need we can have great thoughts about our parenting that can provide us with confidence, but we need to have confidence in something other than ourselves, often right, Like in a strategy, right. So that's where I love you know, people who don't do what I do and are teaching actual like strategies and how to do it and where to start and what tools to use and, as well as you offer some really great ways to think about tech off.
Speaker 2:I love that, yeah, yeah, I love what you said because it really it does start with mindset, but then you know it. Definitely, when it comes to tech, there are a lot of strategies that we need to employ to help us out.
Speaker 1:So, yes, Okay, well, you explained to my listeners because this is such a good, great thing in the way you talk about screen time, about the kid being the best filter or ourselves being our best filter. Will you explain that to my listeners?
Speaker 2:Yes, I mean definitely. When your kids are younger, I'll say that you are the best filter, because they are receiving the world through you. Like you, you are the filter, but as they grow, their own internal filter becomes the best filter, and that's simply because, no matter what parental controls you put on the devices in your home or you know any of the precautions that you have you have your house set up like Fort Knox. Your kids are going to leave home. They'll go to school. If they go to you know public school, they might get on the school bus, they'll be. They'll all be at friends, houses or relatives, and then eventually they're all going to leave home.
Speaker 2:We hope right, and because we want them to grow and become independent, and so in each of those situations, those parental controls and boundaries that you've set up might not be in place, and so they need that, they need to be able to carry those conversations that you've had.
Speaker 2:And you know, I think it's really important for us, as parents, to recognize that we simply can't prepare our kids for every situation that they're going to face, which definitely incites some fear in me, and it has in the past. But I thought you know there are principles that we can talk about, that can carry them through any situation that they might be in, and so I think it's a matter of sitting down and talking about. You know what are talking about your family's values, and then, as they become teens, you're really talking about their values. And what? How do they want to show up online and offline? And that's been such a essential conversation with my teenagers, so that they know, you know, even if mom's not right, they're watching me or there aren't parental controls in place, how do I want to show up? I want to show up with integrity. I want to be true to my personal values, whatever those are. Oh, that's so great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've noticed that too. Like, if you can't tell I'm a new teenage mom, right, I'm like please help me. Yeah, and I've noticed that it's shifted from, like you said, where you're the filter, to there the filter, where from you just do this and do this and do this, and you'll be happy to let me teach you why I've been wanting you to do this, so that you know the why behind it, because I can't just tell you not to have a girlfriend. You're alone at school, like you can ask them to be your girlfriend. So instead, let me tell you why, let me talk to you about why you know whether you agree, and let's let's talk about all the different like reasons and motivations behind that same thing.
Speaker 1:With you know, teaching the gospel. A lot of people who listen to the podcast are members of the church use Christ of Latter-day Saints, so you know, it's just that idea of teaching the why behind teaching the gospel principles, rather than dictating the what, because when we're not with them. So it's it's. It's gone from controlling to teaching, which is a very hard jump.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because we're supposed to control everything from birth and then all of a sudden it doesn't work anymore and it's such a shocker. Totally you can say no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know better, screen time is not faith-based, but you know I share the same faith as you and so there are definitely a lot of those principles that come into play where, exactly as you said, we're trying to teach those correct principles. We're talking about the why. I mean that even goes to you know, in my discussion guide I talk about Simon Sinek, how he talks about start with why and that really is like that's how he. That's one way that we help build that internal filter for sure.
Speaker 1:So good. I love that. Okay, one of the things that I read in one of your recent emails, which everybody should be a part of your your email list, because you give such they're they're chuck full of good content Great links to like we talked about your kids being a filter, but also like an actual filter to put on your internet Just so many great resources. Also, you have like a retreat in Costa Rica coming up in March.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:If I had the money for it. I told my husband like find it please, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:You go with your team and you connect them, because Costa Rica is like my heart, it is like my favorite place on the planet. I've taken my kids, but to go with just my big kids would be so, so special. So you have so many great things coming up and I'm going to share a link below so you guys can follow Andrea and and get to know more about what she does and the programs that she creates. Um, but I one of the emails you talked about the holidays coming up and we had a family reunion this summer and it was kind of a another one of those learning experiences where I was like oh, all the cousins have phones and all the parents have different rules and boundaries around phones. So what do you do? What are some things that that moms can do and parents can do when they have family in town, when they're not in their normal routine, when they're around, when they're not their house or somebody else's house? Like, how do you kind of navigate that situation when it comes to screen time?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, one of the best things you can do it, I always say is to do a pre game huddle. You could call a pre get together huddle with your siblings or your friends, whoever you're getting together with, and kind of just have that conversation ahead of time because at least, even if maybe you don't settle on something, it does at least help the other parents be aware that it's something you're thinking about, something you're concerned about, and that your goal is not to set rules for anyone else anyone else, and that's not really entirely but your goals to safeguard your kids. And this isn't. I think it's really important to bring up the fact that this isn't the 1980s, when we had three channels on the TV and all the bad stuff was on after like eight or nine pm, because obviously we all know a very different world and because we have portable devices as well as just even more so. And so I think, just like talking about maybe some expectations that you know I'm, I'm hopeful that this is what we can do with our spent, how we can spend our time together.
Speaker 2:I think that's really helpful to come at it from that positive perspective of like, what is our goal of our time together? It's to connect. And so what are some things that you guys want to do together so we can connect? And I think start start with that like, do we want to play flag football? Are we going to do games? Here's the games that I'm bringing, and we're kind of emphasizing or focusing on those connection opportunities.
Speaker 2:And then the secondary part of that conversation can be and you know, I think, especially if you've got younger kids, you can definitely say, like you know, just remember our kids are younger, really want them watching TikTok videos. And you know, if you've got older nieces or nephews that have devices, there's nothing wrong with asking your siblings, whoever you're getting together with, just to like have a little chat with their teens, to be mindful of that, and I think it's just about really about respect and respecting other people, and so I think that's helpful and always bringing activities along if you're going to someone else's house, and I always recommend trying to lighten the load because, again, those parents might be if they're hosting you, they might be stressed, they're cooking or cleaning and maybe their kids are all just like binging on a device because the parents are so busy they don't have time to entertain everyone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so maybe how can I just thinking, how can I lighten their load? Oh, I could go take the kids to the park or something. Yes, right. So just taking some ownership and responsibility and then not being afraid. You know, I think having the conversation ahead of time is great, but if something happens in the moment, you know your top priority obviously is keeping your kids safe. So it always depends on your relationship that you have with other person, right? So you have a close connection with that nieces or nephews and they've got to talk videos running on the TV for all the kids to see, and you've got little kids running around. You can just pull them aside. I think it's obviously this kind of conversations are best done in private, rather than like calling them out in front of everyone because that's mortifying, but just being like, hey, can I talk to you for just a minute and just being loving and kind with it. But that's better than you know, having your kids see things that can't be unseen.
Speaker 1:So I feel like I need you as like an angel on my shoulder because you are like, so you're so good.
Speaker 1:It sounds like of giving respect to your teenagers and that's been a hard shift for me. Not that I didn't respect them as little kids, but I think in my quest for like autonomy and just setting boundaries and things like that, sometimes I forget. You know I'm like you're going to be embarrassed, this is just who I am. But there is that shift where it's like, as they're getting older, we also need to respect them the way they want to. We want them to respect us, and I love that you said like pull them aside, because that would not have been my first thought, like I think I would have said it nicely, but I would have been like no, no, you guys to cut off. And and I love that I think that treat them like you would one of your like. You know, I'm an adult, one of my siblings and aunt or uncle treat the big kids like they are part of the. I mean, let them be part of the decision making, and I love that. That's so great.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure In my ears yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's just, it's through experience, right, and you get in these situations and you think, oh, what's the best thing here? And obviously, if there's like something on the TV, right then and there and you've got to like act on it, then by all means you say something you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, I was picturing just now, like that my arm war growing up to have the big deep TV in it, like in my mind. I was picturing like jumping, like shutting the arm, war, and I was like we don't have those anymore, like they're closing the TV right. So I had to say I did get. We have gotten rid of the TV several times and I'm always the one who's like I can't do it anymore.
Speaker 2:No shame in that, like I mean, but like in my mind anymore.
Speaker 1:Well, in my mind, ideally I would love to not have a TV, and I remember specifically asking the mom if her children could babysit my little kids when they were babies and I was like we prefer if they don't like just watch TV the whole day. This is before. I think it was before smart, it wasn't before smartphones, but most kids didn't have phones and she was like, oh, we don't have a TV at our house and I remember being like excellent, like they're going to be great babies and they were. They would bring like a backpack full of toys and they were super present. There's just so many benefits, especially with just like learning how to regulate our own emotions, Like your body doing it without you thinking, and also your thoughts, when you have to do it more often because you don't have this constant buffer of scrolling, which I am more guilty of that than my kids. So setting them up, you know for this, however, that looks for your family, setting them up for this ability to better, like sit with themselves, is such a gift.
Speaker 2:Yeah, especially as they become teenagers. And like I look at my 16 year old and she just was really helping for a drum set a few years ago and for Christmas it ended up being a family present. But we live in a really small house but we ended up finding one that's like electronic so you can put headphones on, and that's like her escape and I love that. You know set up, plopping down and turning on the TV, that like that's where she goes. And yeah, she has a phone but it has limited capabilities so there's not a lot of options for scrolling and that kind of thing.
Speaker 1:So it definitely helps they choose other things, like I was thinking about that too, there's we have get my son has so many instruments, but if there's a phone, they'll probably choose that first, because, for sure, we love the least energy, you know, given like let's, let's do the thing that's the least amount of energy. So, same with us, you know, instead of going and like doing a craft to relax, it's going to be watching Netflix, right? So that's one thing that I love in your program that you have the parents first set their own boundaries with the phone, and I also think that really helps you give respect to your teenagers because you understand the challenge that it is, you understand the gift that it is right. You're right there with them. So I love that. That's the very first place you start, with parents. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:I mean it was.
Speaker 2:It was where I started, because when we sat down to kind of rehaul everything, we sat down to create our family tech plan and you know I try to let the kids have a lot of say in what our plan would be.
Speaker 2:But obviously as a parent, I had certain things that were important to me after my research, and one of them was that we wouldn't take screens into the bedrooms or bathrooms and the first thing I heard was but mom, you take your phone and your laptop into the bedroom.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh, you're right, and so you know this is what I do now. But like that was over five years ago and I have not taken my phone or my laptop into the bedroom. You know, for five years and I've seen so many benefits from keeping my work compartmentalized in my office and you know my phone travels through we have a small house but through like this part of the house, but I don't take it back into the bedroom, and so it's just like kind of finding that relief for yourself or that sweet spot and then sharing it with your kids, whatever that looks like for your listeners or for anyone else. Like it might look different, but just finding like where's my digital sweet spot, where I feel like I've got a good relationship and a good handle on this so that I am modeling this for my kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there's not very many areas I feel like where we can do the same things as our kids and where they can like relate with us, because most things it's like well, I'm the parent, right, like, I have, you know, this is for my job. You don't have a job, so I feel like in this area, if they can see you doing the same thing, right, like putting your phone down a certain time of day and I think that also sounds really challenging at first.
Speaker 1:Like I think a lot of us, we have all kinds of thoughts come up about like well, no, and I have to do this and that, and so that's a great place to relate with our kids. Like they also have all these reasons in their head that they have all kinds of evidence for, because if they've already had a phone, it's almost impossible to imagine what you do without it. I have a trouble imagining, like my next question for you was what about school with screens? Like I've wanted to take I think my kids don't have Safari, but I've allowed all the Google stuff, but still I feel like it's this struggle between, sometimes between school and with the amount of things they have access to on their phone. So how do you go about? Have you had any like? Do you have any course where you kind of address that or where you feel like, oh, this part really helps with that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, our kids have school devices and so we just try to keep school with school. So I haven't, for the most part, allowed too much on like my teens phones as far as because well, here's why I did with my oldest like the Google Docs and different things.
Speaker 2:Well, I learned that they could just send themselves a link inside Google Docs to get to the internet, even if Safari wasn't on the phone, and so, yeah, kind of learned through trial and error, like limiting some of those outside apps and like, oh, if you need that for school, you do it on your school device and thankfully, over the years, there's something that the school has offered to them or they have iPads.
Speaker 1:OK, ipads yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and which I don't necessarily love, but they have gotten better at locking a lot of things down. In fact, my kids complain quite a bit about like they're trying to do something for research and it's blocked, and I'm like that's OK, I'd rather have it be that way than to just re-rain to everything on YouTube and whatnot. So it is a tricky balance.
Speaker 1:That was an issue a couple of years ago. My son's middle school was like we're a tech friendly school, which meant every kid almost needed a phone because in class they'd be like, hey, get out your phone for Safari. But things really have evolved. I feel like most schools are pretty aware that just having all the kids have their devices and access to them all the time my son's in the magnet school, my daughter's in a public school I mean they're both public schools, but one of them is much more like academic and the public school is kids are underneath their desks on their phone, literally sitting on the floor, like it's just and a similar thing. Like she would be embarrassed if she had like my old cracked phone that we just like put a screen protector over Right. So I just love the image of the big, thick brick phone Like no one's going to take that out, nope.
Speaker 1:But my son, when he went to that school, when he was in middle school, he was so lonely because everyone got out there what was, at the time, like their 2DS is, or like their switches or their phones, and he was like please let me bring my switch to school.
Speaker 1:Like at lunch nobody talks and I don't know anybody and I can't get to know anybody because everyone's on their screen. So it's really like screens also like really keep us so isolated and also like really increase that social anxiety. I think because, without being a therapist, just from my own personal experience, it makes it more and more kind of scary and overwhelming to like talk to strangers in public, strike a conversation, all those skills that are so good for not being lonely, for being connected, you know totally yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean I really predict and feel that you're we're going to see a lot of changes in phone use at schools. I mean, recently the state of Florida has banned cell phones, at least during class time, and then some school districts have even gone farther than that to prevent them being used at all during the day. And I'm currently working with my school district to just kind of make some changes, and I don't know where that's the lead, but it is. They finally have come to me, and so I think that's amazing when we can just kind of generate these conversations with our teachers, with the school district, and not from a place of pointing fingers or from anger, but like from a place of service, like how, how you know, our kids are really getting distracted and they're learning and anyway. This is like a whole another conversation, obviously, but I do think it is important to just speak up and I think we're going to start seeing a lot of changes when it comes to at least cell phones and schools.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think I bet you get so much traction when you come from a place of service like that, because I'm sure it's just as much of a problem for teachers at school as well. Oh yeah, Because I was thinking, oh my gosh, what that would be so much relief if all of a sudden they were like no cell phones at school, like I have to like explain it to my kid, like it's like, oh, the school, you know.
Speaker 1:Just like when I tell my kids like if you don't want to go hang out with that person or you want to come home early, you just say my mom said I can't come. You know, like you can blame it on me and like wouldn't it be so nice if we could. Just, you know, the district says no more phones and yes, and we can just go back to like they use the phone in the office if they need to call you.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, you know what we used to do. Yes, that's exactly what I am proposing and including for with our school district because, you know, having been a teacher and I was a teacher before devices even existed, I taught middle school I'm like I just can't even imagine the chaos of adding that extra distraction to an already distracted mind. Not a good combo, yeah.
Speaker 1:And yeah, and the way that our kids are probably so much harder to keep their attention now with, like how fast social media is and phones and all that. Yeah, I can't imagine either, and I think this conversation like we can really take heart that this is so much easier now than it was like five years ago.
Speaker 1:I feel like five years ago I remember thinking like when will I let my child have a? Maybe like 10 years ago, have a social media? And now I'm like, oh, they'll never, ever like have social media now when they're at home. If they want to know, that's totally fine, but like there's just no need. And my kids have never even been like can I please? Like I think they wanted Instagram for like a second to post about their rabbit or something like that, but it's never been. Like that's where everyone's connecting because they there's so much conversation now where we can actually see the effects and you know all the things that come along with social media that maybe aren't so beneficial, yeah, and so like. But I love that. We're like preparing them, helping them be the filter so that one day, if they want to get a social media for their business or they, you know, want to connect to people they live far away from it's not this toxic place and they're like have this mature brain and they're older.
Speaker 1:Yeah it's just a much less dangerous place, I feel like when you're 18 or 22 versus when you're 14, 15, 16, you know yeah for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean the biggest benefit I can see, and now that I can see this on the other end, because my oldest is in college now, so you know we've gone through so much and I've been in progress so much over these years, but I, you know, was just blown away.
Speaker 2:I opened up her college essays last year and one of them was kind of all about this whole process of growing up without the TV, sitting out and going back to the brick phone. How painful that was. Like you know, my job was to make miserable and she was very honest about it. But then, like, the whole last paragraph was, like you know, while my classmates were being fed like body image issues on social media and television, I was taking ballet classes. I learned to love my body and, like you know, she used all these different examples. But the end of her essay she just said, you know, I found myself on my own, I know who I am and I'm, like you know, and I like every time I read that, but I just think, when I go speak to schools and parents, like that is the story I share and I'm like I don't just want that for my kids, I want that for your kids.
Speaker 2:Like anyone that's listening, I want that for all kids because that is like the greatest gift to know who you are without having had you know all these influences on social media to tell you who you were supposed to be. And then it's like at that point then you can decide, you know, just like you said, if social media fits into your life and, if it does, deciding how for sure.
Speaker 1:I love that. Well, thank you so much. I don't want to give my listeners too much information, because information overload. I feel like that's my weakness. I like love to just like keep like giving them good stuff, and then they're looking at me like it's too much, I'm gonna melt.
Speaker 1:So but thank you so much for coming and I'm so excited for other people to do your program, because it's and you guys it's in podcast form to, which has saved my life, because even my husband I sent him every day. I'm like I listened to this one, you gotta listen to this one now, like we just have zero time and I want to get through the whole course. So I love the podcast. It's like. It's like what are they like? Five minutes? Yeah, they're really short.
Speaker 1:They're so like bite size, they're just incredible. So everybody has to come check out your course and and do it. I don't know a mom out there who hasn't come on and not been coached on screen time and their kids that I've had.
Speaker 2:Honestly right. I love that.
Speaker 1:It's just it's just a common thing. So I really appreciate the work that you're doing and it just has a huge impact on families, like it really does. I'm just so grateful for what you do. So everybody, you're so welcome. Can you tell everybody where they can find your course or how they can get on your email list?
Speaker 2:Yes, so our website is better screen timecom and we have lots of free downloads on there. We have one called am I ready? If you have a child or a teenager asking for a phone, it's a great self evaluation. You can print out and let them kind of self evaluate and you can start that conversation of preparing for that time and taking it slow. That's what we always recommend. And then we are, you know, ironically on Instagram at better screen time. So that's a great place to find us.
Speaker 2:And then we recently just launched a brand new tech healthy family hub where we have all of our courses plus we have more like live training. So, like tomorrow, I'm giving a live training on the very first tech conversation to have with your kids.
Speaker 1:So it's kind of just like more of a place to get additional support and help in addition to the courses so I'm so excited about that because some I am kind of the learner where I would rather show up at a set time where I know you're going to be there and like kind of, you're going through it with me. I'm kind of like a fascinating. So I really love like a time and place and then the social aspect of it, just getting to be there with a bunch of other parents.
Speaker 1:so I'm really excited about your hub. It's very, very cool, awesome, yay, all right, awesome. So better screen time, dot calm, calm. Okay, I was gonna say not that work. Okay, better screen timecom. You guys can go find out more and do all the amazing things. Thank you so much for coming. We're gonna have to have you back because it sounds like we have a lot more to talk about.
Speaker 2:I would love to know. Thank you for having me, and I love that you're going through the course and and obviously, like it's great because you're helping parents to, so thank you for your work as well. We all need a lot of help, so yes, let's all get out there.
Speaker 1:So true. If you have questions about anything you've learned here on the podcast, or want help with something going on in your own life, hop on a free coaching call with me. In just 30 minutes you'll have real tools for your unique situation. Go to limitlessfemalecoachingcom. Forward slash work with me, or you can find a link in the show notes below. Spots are limited, so grab one before you miss it.