EPISODE #147- The Power of Saying No: Transform Your Mental Health Through Boundary Setting

Ever thought that saying "no" could be your greatest act of self-care? In this episode of "Win Over Depression," I, Tamera Trotter, promise to guide you through the challenging yet transformative process of protecting your mental health by setting firm boundaries. We unravel the power of making tough, sometimes unpopular decisions to shield your emotional energy from burnout and anxiety. From distancing yourself from toxic relationships—even when they involve family—to embracing the liberating act of self-affirmation, we lay out strategies for living a more resilient life.

Dive into the art of boundary-setting as a pathway to mental wellness, learning how to reinforce your values and foster self-respect. Feel empowered to break free from people-pleasing habits and nurture genuine connections that add joy and authenticity to your life. Together, we'll explore how taking control of your mental health can lead to clearer thinking and increased happiness. Join me on this transformative journey to redefine the narrative of depression and embrace a life filled with purpose and fulfillment.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:09

Hello and welcome. To Win Over Depression, your beacon of hope in the realm of mental health. I am your host, tamara Trotter. I am your companion on the journey to reclaiming joy and resilience, and this podcast will unravel the vital importance of managing your well-being amidst life's challenges. From practical strategies to uplifting stories and expert advice, each episode is a roadmap to cultivating mental wellness and overcoming the grip of depression. Whether you are seeking solace for yourself or supporting a friend, here you will find the tools and inspiration to navigate the complexities of emotional health. Join me as we embark on a transformative quest to prioritize self-care, resilience and the triumph of the human spirit. Let's together redefine the narrative of depression and embrace a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Speaker 1: 1:16

Today, we'll be talking about the importance of making tough and potentially unpopular decisions in order to maintain our mental health. Making tough and unpopular decisions is often necessary for maintaining mental health. Although it can be difficult, these decisions are crucial because they help preserve our sense of autonomy, boundaries and overall well-being. They are very important. The first reason that making unpopular and tough decisions is important is because it protects your emotional energy. Every day, we make decisions that require an emotional investment, whether it's at work, in relationships or in social situations, some decisions might go against the grain of what others expect, but if you always prioritize others' desires at the expense of your own needs of your own needs it can lead to burnout, resentment and anxiety, as we know for sure that we must be proactive in managing our mental health. I cannot stress enough the importance of learning to say no when no should be the answer that is best for your mental health. Be the answer that is best for your mental health. Saying no to additional responsibilities or distancing yourself from toxic people, even if they're family members, protects your emotional resources, ensuring that you do not deplete yourself. When you allow toxic people to continue to be a part of your life, you are affecting your mental health adversely and you will suffer because of it. You will experience more episodes of depression and you will definitely experience high anxiety.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Taking the harder, often unpopular route is really a form of self-affirmation. It helps to reinforce your values, helping you stay true to yourself even when the path isn't easy. This helps build self-respect and self-confidence, as we learn to trust our judgment and the ability to navigate difficult decisions and situations. The more you practice this, the more resilient and grounded you become in your decision making. Think of someone in your life right now that may be toxic. How long have you allowed this person to lower your confidence and your morale and cause you to feel badly about yourself?

Speaker 1: 4:30

When we make a tough decision to remove people from our lives that do not wish us well nor have our best interest at heart, we are taking control of our mental health, and we will notice that we will start feeling better and we will start experiencing more joy in our lives. It is so important to set appropriate boundaries. Boundaries are essential for managing mental health because they prevent us from overextending ourselves and taking on more than we can handle. It is so important that we surround ourselves with people who understand us, appreciate us and feel that we are valuable. Us and feel that we are valuable. When people come into our lives and all they wish to do is to take and take and never give, it affects our emotional energy. When you are the one who is always giving, that means that the other person is really taking advantage of you. They are using your kindness and they are taking your kindness for weakness.

Speaker 1: 5:56

When we decide to prioritize our mental health, we are going to grow and our situations and circumstances are going to change. We will have clearer thinking and we will have less episodes of depression. This may mean that we have to lose some connections in the short term, or maybe even in the long term, but it will open doors to more authenticity and fulfilling relationships. Choosing to prioritize our mental health and well-being over people-pleasing can be a form of self-liberation that allows you to form deeper and more meaningful connections. When you look back and evaluate how you have allowed toxic people to affect you, you will realize that you put more energy, care and concern in the relationship than the other person ever did. Yet you continue to support them, to be there for them and to even help them out in ways that they should have never expected. When we realize that change is necessary no-transcript it can be deeply rewarding when we start feeling better, and in the long run, we will experience mental resilience and overall life satisfaction. When we make tough decisions, we are beginning to focus on what's important, we move outside our comfort zone and we are able to confront challenges head on, and when we do that, we will definitely find more joy.

Speaker 1: 8:09

If we continue to avoid tough decisions to keep the peace, to avoid conflict, we may eventually harbor resentment toward those who took advantage of our kindness. Resentment is a significant source of stress, and unhappiness can prevent this emotional buildup, ensuring that we maintain healthier outcomes and we begin to have more balanced interaction with others. When we interact with people who toxic and they have an episode of toxicity, it can take us days to recover from that. Our mental health is in jeopardy and we should not allow anyone to destroy our peace In our home. Peace is essential and we should never allow people to contribute to an unsettling feeling in our own home.

Speaker 1: 9:20

Part of maintaining our mental health is recognizing that discomfort is a part of life and that it's okay not to please everyone, because there are some people who will never be happy, regardless of what you do for them. By embracing the discomfort that comes with making tough decisions, you learn to build your emotional tolerance and resilience and it becomes easier to make decisions that support your mental health. While it is never easy to make these decisions, they are essential. They help protect our emotional energy, they help us to set future boundaries in relationships and they help us to foster growth and self-respect by embracing tough choices everything that we in when it comes to the decisions that we make and they cause us to potentially make decisions that we're not comfortable making, we are giving in and we are, in turn, jeopardizing our mental health. Embrace the tough choices, even when it is a challenge, because when you stay true to yourself, you are being proactive in managing your mental health, which is paramount and more important than anything else.

Speaker 1: 11:17

The ability to say no, which can often be incredibly difficult, especially when it involves conflict with others, their expectations or desires. When we decline requests or situations that don't serve our mental well-being, we create space in our lives for things that truly matter to us. This may include time for rest, self-care or pursuing personal goals. While it may feel uncomfortable in the moment, the act of saying no protects your mental and emotional energy. Know, protects your mental and emotional energy, allowing you to stay healthy and focused on what is important. In addition to that, the short-term pain is what we're looking for because, as a result, we are going to experience long-term gain.

Speaker 1: 12:17

Many tough decisions come with an immediate sense of discomfort, whether it's disappointing someone, risking a confrontation or dealing with a difficult situation, but in the long run, these short-term pains often lead to much healthier outcomes. So I want you to be courageous in making that decision. Although it will be painful, you will see that in the long run. Painful, you will see that in the long run, you will look back and be more than satisfied with the decision that you made. Similarly, ending a relationship that is not serving you might cause emotional upheaval at first, but it clears the way for personal healing and future relationships that are healthy and more supportive.

Speaker 1: 13:14

While the immediate consequences of tough decisions can feel overwhelming, they are often necessary for long-term mental and emotional growth. This discomfort will be painful, but the relief and peace that follow will last much longer. So we must be willing to put our mental health first in pursuit of what is more important in our lives. We will be able to strengthen our sense of purpose. We will be able to stay grounded even when faced with external pressure. When we make a decision based on what we believe is right rather than on what others expect, it strengthens our sense of purpose and personal integrity. Knowing that you are making choices that align with your true self brings a sense of clarity and inner peace.

Speaker 1: 14:16

It is also important to practice self-compassion when dealing with making tough decisions, as we're one of our harshest critics, especially when we feel that others might not approve of the choices that we make, but self-compassion allows us to recognize that we're doing the best that we can with the resources and knowledge that is available to us in the moment. Making tough decisions doesn't mean that you have all the answers, but it means that you are learning to trust yourself and act in a way that supports your overall well-being. When you embrace self-compassion, you can navigate difficult choices with greater patience and understanding. This, in turn, will reduce the guilt or shame that might otherwise come with making decisions that don't align with others' expectations. It also allows you to forgive yourself in things that don't go as planned, reinforcing the ideas that mistakes are part of life's journey.

Speaker 1: 15:25

At its core, it is about reclaiming and asserting our control over our life. When we act in our best interest, we are saying that our mental health, our happiness and our sense of well-being matters. Life can often feel like a series of external pressures, expectations and responsibility, but the ability to make decisions that reflect our desires, our needs and our wants help us to regain control. There is nothing worse than feeling like you don't have control in your life. The more that we exercise control, the stronger our mental health becomes, because we are no longer allowing circumstances or other people to dictate our reality. So, when we have made these decisions and our life changes, we need to embrace change. People tend to resist change because it feels unsettling and unpredictable. However, change is an inevitable part of life and learning to embrace it is a key to maintaining mental health.

Speaker 1: 16:45

Every tough decision, whether it's leaving a toxic situation or a toxic person, changing careers or redefining relationships, marks a transition in our life. These transitions may be challenging, but they also open us up for new opportunities, connection and fulfillment. By learning to navigate change with an open heart, our emotional resilience and ability to face the future challenges with confidence is evident. It is about protecting your long-term mental health. While these decisions often cause temporary discomfort, the long-term benefits, such as greater self-respect, healthier relationships, are invaluable. When we learn to make difficult decisions, we are ultimately choosing a life of authenticity and self-care. The process may be messy, uncomfortable and even lonely at times, but it is also empowering, liberating and essential for a healthy and fulfilled life. So I encourage you to make a tough decision today and get this skill in your toolkit. And get this skill in your toolkit Because, over time, as you learn to trust yourself, understand your boundaries and embrace discomfort as a part of your growth, you will position yourself for a more fulfilling and rewarding life.

Speaker 1: 18:26

I never want to end my podcast without thanking you so very much. You continue to be the best part of Win Over Depression as we look to close out 2024 in a very strong way. Please remember that you can always determine the outcomes in your life by making the necessary decisions that are in your best interest. Remember you can find us on TikTok at TT Mental Health Wellness Coach. You can also like and subscribe to our YouTube channel. You can find us on LinkedIn and Twitter, as well as Pinterest at TT Mental Health Expert. Continue to live your life to its fullest, knowing that you are valuable. You are important. If you want to support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron. You can go to wwwpatreoncom that's P-A-T-R-E-O-Ncom, backslash Tamara Trotter, which is T-A-M-E-R-A. Last name Trotter T-R-O-T-T-E-R. As little as $15 to $20 per month will expand our reach and give us the ability to spread more love, happiness and the importance of living a well-balanced life. Take care and I will see you next Friday on Win Over Depression.