Win Over Depression -A Podcast about how #MentalWellness #self-care #blackmentalhealth

EPISODE #148- Celebrating Small Victories: A Journey Through Mental Illness Recovery

• Tamera C. Trotter • Season 11 • Episode 5

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Speaker 1:

This podcast is dedicated to all of those who suffer with a mental illness and are trying desperately to live better. It is also dedicated to all of the friends and family members of those who suffer with the mental illness, who are trying to better understand their loved ones. Hello and welcome to when Over Depression. I am your host, tamara Trotter. Today, we'll be talking about five reasons to celebrate your progress in overcoming your mental illness. Stay tuned.

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I want you to think for a moment about how hard you are on yourself. We often set expectations for ourselves that are lofty, and when we don't line up with our expectations and the standard that we set for ourselves, we just do not give ourselves a break. So this episode is about recognizing and celebrating your progress. We have to celebrate the small wins, because when we celebrate small wins, we are making progress, and when we're making progress, that means that we are getting closer and closer to the end result and the outcome that we are expecting. So what exactly is progress? The definition of progress is forward or onward movement toward a destination. And so what is your destination? I know for me, my destination or goal, as someone who suffers from mental illness and specifically anxiety and depression, is, to a quicker manner, the symptoms that I feel and be able to suppress them by utilizing one of the strategies that I've learned, the first one being to reprogram my brain to think about something positive, to get 15 minutes of sunlight, to listen to some upbeat music or to phone an accountability partner. All of these are techniques to help reduce our symptoms of depression and get us back on track so that we can continue thriving and surviving, but remembering that our main goal is to do more than survive, but to thrive anyway, despite how we feel, despite our circumstances and despite us not knowing whether we're going to feel upbeat, positive and inspired the next day. So we have to ride out as far and as wide as we can all of the times when we feel like our symptoms are subsiding. We have to make plans, clean up our house, get to a task that we had put on hold because we weren't feeling up to it. We have to maximize our ability to achieve when we are in that great spot and feeling good. So we really need to make sure that, when we are making progress, that we celebrate each and every progressive step that we take, even if we feel that, as we move forward, the next day, we're going to possibly move backward. That's okay. You want to celebrate the fact that you have made progress. So I want you to think about the last month. What challenges did you face, what was going on, and what are your stories of success? How did you recognize your progress? How many days did you experience positivity and you had low symptoms of depression? Was it 10%, 30%, 50%? No matter how small, you must celebrate the progress, because, as long as you are moving forward, that is success and that's what we're looking for.

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The truth is, society has trained us to focus on what is negative and what is not going well in our lives, and so, because we are emotional beings and because you suffer and I suffer with an emotional disease that can cause physical and emotional pain, we are more susceptible to experiencing a downward spiral, and that's why it's important that we are aware of who we listen to, who we believe in and who we follow, and what messages we are telling ourselves, because it is our mind that is oftentimes our worst enemy, that is telling us to quit, telling us to throw in the towel, telling us that we cannot achieve what we set our minds out to achieve, and that just is not true. You have to ignore what your mind is telling you at times, because that is a part of living with anxiety and depression. And, my friend, I know that you're probably thinking, wow, this is so much to deal with on top of having a mental illness. And it's true, it's hard work, it's oftentimes tiring, it's frustrating. I know that, I feel it, I know that you feel it.

Speaker 1:

But we have to remember our mantra on win over depression, which is giving up is never an option and we can never throw in the towel. We can never decide that we don't want to continue living. It is off the table permanently. Remember we talked about that. So we have to stay encouraged. We need to make sure that we surround ourselves with people who exude positivity. We surround ourselves with people who exude positivity, people in our lives who will notice when we seem to be feeling better and doing better. Because if you don't see the progress that you're making, I guarantee that if you ask someone where they saw you last month and what progress you've made from last month to this month, because they will be able to pinpoint what they have seen over that last month that you may not notice. So that is another reason why having an accountability partner is so important, because when we are rating ourselves, we tend to be harder. So I want you to celebrate what you're doing, continue to move forward and remember how important it is that you continue on the path toward the outcome that you're expecting.

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And speaking of outcomes, what is it that you would like to see in your life when it relates to your mental health? What is your overall goal? Think about that goal and write it down, and put some action behind the goal. What is it that you need to do? What is the specific behavior that you need to change? And when we think about goals that we set for ourselves, we need to be smart in setting what's called smart goals, and those are goals that are S specific, m measurable, a attainable, r realistic and T time oriented. Because when we do not set specific goals that are measurable or we think of something that is not likely to happen for example, if you say I'm going to lose 15 pounds in three days, that's not going to happen, so it's not realistic, so let's just start with a small weekly goal. What do you want to see happen regarding your mental health in the next week? Think about the upcoming week and what strategy you may need to put in place, depending on what you're going to be dealing with in the next week and factor in what you need to do in order to reduce your symptoms of depression during the next week.

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And I want to give you some more specific examples. And so let's just say that at work, it causes you to have a lot of anxiety and stress, and maybe there's a specific person who, when they are around you at work, your stress is increased. Is there a way that you can reduce your contact with that person in order to reduce your stress with that person? In order to reduce your stress, maybe if you see them in person, the stress is higher. Is it possible for you to send them an email so you don't have to interact with them face to face? These are type of strategies that we have to adopt in order to make sure that our anxiety and stress remains low.

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Another example would be in relationships. So maybe you are experiencing stress and anxiety in a relationship with your husband or your wife, or maybe it's your kids. We have to remember to pick our battles, so think about the battles that you are facing and which ones are not worth your time, and so what this means is, rather than get into a heated argument that's going to increase your stress, decide to compromise or just say yes to whatever it is, and so when we're able to pick our battles and not make things harder on ourselves, then that is the best way to go, because we are able to reduce our stress, keep peace in an environment that we live in, and it's better for everyone involved. So what area of your life is causing you stress, and what will you do in order to reduce that stress? So think about it and remember that when you are being proactive in dealing with your mental health, you have to figure out how you can keep your symptoms at bay, and so this means doing something different in a situation that you know causes you undue stress. You have to be proactive, because you have more to lose than other people who do not suffer with a mental illness, and I want you to be very proud of the progress that you are making, because I remember times when I was doubtful about how I could get my mental health situation under control, but when I decided that I was going to do something for myself, it made all the difference in the world, because you are worth it.

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You are someone who deserves to have happiness in your life. You deserve to have successes, be able to vacation and do things that bring you joy, because I guarantee you that tomorrow is not promised to any one of us and therefore we must act now, not next week, not next month, I mean act in the next 72 hours to turn it around. I believe that you can do it, but the question remains do you believe that you can make progress in overcoming your mental illness? And that? My friend is the million dollar question. But here is the answer when you believe and have faith, when you know that you can see down the tunnel, that it's going to improve and look better for you, when you believe that and you can see it, then you can achieve it. So I want you to look down that tunnel and realize that the shining light is closer than you might think and that light represents more light in your life rather than distress and grief.

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And the reason it's so important that we recognize the progress that we're making is because depression makes you feel as though you don't have any options that are available to you, because there's a dark cloud that tends to hover over you and causes you to feel insignificant and helpless and you can't seem to muster up the strength needed to fight the battle. But the reality is that we are mainly depressed because of the expectations, problems or the behavioral impact of others family friends, husband, wife, others, family friends, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend or partner. If you were to filter out the residual impact of how the issues of others affects your depressed condition, you would be amazed, and that is why we must learn to focus our attention on the healthy aspects of our relationships and not allow them to bring us down with their insecurities and misfortune, because we all have choices and we are responsible and accountable for the choices and decisions that we make. Because when you are in a vulnerable state, you must put your health and well-being first. The options that are always available to you are saying no, choosing not to engage, but, most of all, not making the problem of others your problem. You have far more to lose, because toxic people in your life could cost you everything. You only live once and, as we know, tomorrow is definitely not promised, and it is hard to make a wise decision to protect you when there's loved ones involved. But you have to pick and decide whether or not you are going to allow someone to destroy the progress that you're making because of a situation or circumstance that they have placed you in. So my challenge to you is to make the healthy decisions that represent your best interest. The more practice, the easier it will become, because you are valuable and you're, and so you know that I like to be transparent in my podcast episodes, and so recently I was speaking to a very close friend about pain and continuing on, because I've personally been experiencing a rough patch, and there was something that she told me that truly resonated with me.

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That truly resonated with me, and what she said is find joy in the small things, whether it's a cup of coffee, maybe it's just watching a movie, listening to your favorite music or just giving someone a phone call. And so I really appreciated the conversation that I had with her, and it actually made me think and to start to feel better, because how often do we pause to find joy in what's small in our lives? And so when was the last time that you watched the sunrise or a sunset? Truly a beautiful sight to see. So, actually, that is the first way that we push through the pain. Find joy in the small things. The next way that we push through the pain is that we recognize the pain and we begin to heal ourselves by remembering how strong we are and how resilient we are and the fact that we have made it this far in our lives and there's so much going on.

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Yet we're still here and we have to be aware that life is comprised of a journey of many miles, with different points in time, where we learn from situations and circumstances, and we know that eventually, sadness and pain will come into our lives, just based on our age, based on our age, based on our parents or our loved ones aging, just based on the number of accidents that happen. And so we have to, as those who suffer with a mental illness, be aware and actually be proactive and I know I talk about that a lot but be proactive, ready, willing and able to press through, because the moment that we give up and give in, we allow all of the negativity to permeate our mind and take us to a very dark place, a place that is next to impossible to get out of. And so we can get out of the dark place, but we don't want to put ourselves in a situation where we end up in that dark place, and so the second way that we press through is to realize that disappointment is also part of life. Yet we still have to again be proactive and not allow disappointments to put us so far behind that it starts to affect us emotionally and physically. So our mind can really play tricks on us and I've said this throughout many of my episodes, because sometimes our mind is our worst enemy. Our mind convinces us in many circumstances about things that just are not there, that are not true, things that just are not there, that are not true, and once we start to almost meditate on that, it just puts us again in that place where we don't want to be. So we have to recognize that disappointment will happen, but we have to be prepared to fight the disappointment through our actions and by continuing to move forward and push forward, knowing that that's the only way that we can survive.

Speaker 1:

Let's talk about survival for a minute. Let's talk about survival for a minute. Survival is really a crucial component of overcoming the circumstances and the symptoms of depression. You have to always think about how much you want to survive and how much you cannot give in, because on any given day you can just feel like it's just not worth it. And when we talk about joy coming in the morning, that's exactly what we're talking about Just hold on and hold out for that better day that inevitably will come.

Speaker 1:

But if, at our darkest moment, we decide that we can no longer be here on this earth, it makes it very easy for us to follow that exact step, because we're already feeling weak and we're already doubting ourselves, and it just makes it easier to take that next natural step. But it really isn't a natural step. Suicide is not a natural step. So we have to make sure that we have excluded it from our mind and our vocabulary, and whenever it sinks in or pops up, we have to suppress it. And so, in order to do that, we must be mindful of who we allow to pour into our lives and influence our decisions, to our lives and influence our decisions.

Speaker 1:

And so the other way that we press through is through having an accountability coach. And I cannot stress it enough If you're feeling down and out, you must reach out to your accountability coach and don't make any movement, do not act on anything that you're feeling until you have gotten a hold of that specific person. So if you do not have an accountability coach. I highly recommend that you find that one person that you trust with all of your heart, that you know is going to help you, to guard your heart, and let that person know that you'll be reaching out to them in times of need. And I've just been really disappointed with what's happening around me in the media personally, professionally, at times, and it can really make you feel disillusioned.

Speaker 1:

But that's why we have to remember that everybody has a purpose and we have to think about whether or not we're living up to our truest purpose and potential. So the time now is to act on whatever that might be, whether it's to start the book you've been waiting for, open the business you've been talking about for years, become a motivational speaker. If you don't take the first step, you cannot get to the second, third, fifth and tenth step. You don't have to know all of the answers, but you do have to be ready to act and to move forward. So we must find joy in the small thing. We need to find an accountability coach, someone that we trust, who can help us on this journey of life. We have to have faith that tomorrow will be a different story and that we'll wake up feeling better and brighter. We have to remember to get those 15 minutes of sunshine every single day and we have to keep on going without fail. We cannot give up, we cannot give in and we can't. So for your homework for this episode, I'd like for you to write down five ways that you will continue to press through the pain. I want you to find that accountability coach, if you don't already have one, and I'd like you to complete this assignment in the next five days.

Speaker 1:

I never like to end my podcast without thanking you so very much for listening. I am growing by leaps and bounds and I am so very excited. Please continue listening. Share this podcast with a friend or with a group. Like and subscribe to my YouTube channel when Over Depression. Go to my website when Over Depression and go to the blog and find hundreds of encouraging messages that will keep you going. If you would like to help this podcast grow even even more, consider becoming a sponsor at patreoncom. That's wwwpatreoncom.

Speaker 1:

Backslash. Tamara Trotter, t-a-m-e-r-a. Trotter, t-r-o-t-t-e-r. You can also find me on Pinterest, at TT Mental Health Expert, as well as Twitter, linkedin and many other virtual platforms.

Speaker 1:

Remember stay in the game of life. We only get one life to live and we need to live it to our fullest. Be encouraged, my friend. You are important, you are all that you can be right now. It's in front of you, but you have to pull it out. You are special, you are in the right place at the right time and you need to be aware that if a door closes, a window will. Be aware that if a door closes, a window will, and I never want to end my podcast without thanking you so very much for listening.

Speaker 1:

Please consider joining my Facebook group called Win Over Depression, subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend and share it with a friend. I also encourage you to go to twittercom backslash Tamara Trotter and read all of the information on Twitter. You can also find me on Pinterest at TT Mental Health Expert, as well as Instagram, and I invite you to subscribe to my YouTube channel, also called Win Over Depression, but you can also put in my name Tamara Trotter that's T-A-M-E-R-A, last name Trotter, t-r-o-t-t-e-r and you will find the YouTube channel. Please subscribe and also share the YouTube channel. If you would like to help this podcast continue to grow, I encourage you to become a patron of Win Over Depression. All you need to do is go to wwwpatreoncom.

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Backslash Tamara Trotter, and as little as $ to seven dollars per month will help us continue to grow and share this worthwhile message to many more people, so that we can reduce the episodes of suicide On what suicide can do to a family and exactly what you can do in performing a mental health assessment of your loved ones. We also encourage you to remember that giving up is never an option. Stay in the game of life, because life will get better. You have to keep on doing the work.