EPISODE #158- When Depression Wins the Battle But Not the War

Depression can feel like drowning in quicksand, but the darkest hour only has 60 minutes and with time and proactive steps, our circumstances can change.

• Becoming a change agent in our own recovery is essential when depression makes us feel hopeless
• Incremental steps matter - just getting up, taking a shower, or walking outside can start momentum
• Identifying triggers helps us understand what led to feeling overwhelmed
• Professional help is necessary when our resilience becomes weak
• Sometimes depression does win temporarily, and it's okay to retreat and try again tomorrow
• Our biggest struggles often become our testimony and prepare us to help others
• Taking action, even if it's messy or small, builds momentum toward recovery
• Write down three immediate things to do in the next 15 minutes, 2 hours, and tomorrow to help pull yourself out of despair

Check out my course "14 Days to Mental Health Wellness" available on TikTok under Tamara Trotter to help get your life back on track with positive affirmations, daily mood trackers, and helpful content.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Win Over Depression
• 7:45 Making It Through the Depths of Despair
• 15:26 Finding Strength in Small Steps
• 32:14 Why We Shouldn't Quit
• 38:38 Overcoming Isolation and Negative Thinking
• 45:52 Action Plan and Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Hello and welcome. To Win Over Depression, your beacon of hope in the realm of mental health. I am your host, tamara Trotter. I am your companion on the journey to reclaiming joy and resilience, and this podcast will unravel the vital importance of managing your well-being amidst life's challenges. From practical strategies to uplifting stories and expert advice, each episode is a roadmap to cultivating mental wellness and overcoming the grip of depression. Whether you are seeking solace for yourself or supporting a friend, here you will find the tools and inspiration to navigate the complexities of emotional health. Join me as we embark on a transformative quest to prioritize self-care, resilience and the triumph of the human spirit. Let's together redefine the narrative of depression and embrace a life of purpose and fulfillment. Hello and welcome.

Speaker 1: 1:19

Today, we'll be talking about how do we make it through the depths of despair. Many of us experience trauma in our lives and sometimes, when we least expect it, we find ourselves feeling as if we are drowning in quicksand. So what do we do when we feel like we can't take another step? We cannot just move out of the area in which we're sitting or laying, and we just don't feel like it. Well, I will submit to you that the darkest hour only has 60 minutes. So think about this. As time passes, things can change. Is it possible for things to change with us not being proactive? Not likely. So if we want things to change, we have to become a change agent. If we know that we need to get up and get outside and get some sunlight and we're not going to be able to get to a better place until we do that, then we must be committed to making that happen, no matter how hard it may seem.

Speaker 1: 2:37

Because when we're in despair, it's more than just sadness. It's more than just sadness. It is a feeling of hopelessness where you may feel like there's no way forward and no light at the end of the tunnel, whether it's because of your mental health struggle, the grief that you feel, or trauma, or that life in and of itself is just too overwhelming. I will be the first to tell you that it's not easy. It's challenging, it gets old and it's very difficult to pull yourself out. That's why it's so important to not allow yourself to suffer in silence and to not reach out to your accountability coach during this time. Not reach out to your accountability coach during this time, because time is of the essence the longer that you stay in a dark place, the harder it becomes to pull yourself out.

Speaker 1: 3:36

When we are feeling that life is passing us by and we are moving in the direction of feeling like despair is just around the corner, that is the time that we must act. We have to somehow find strength and be able to move in a direction that is going to get us to that better place. When we are sedentary and we don't move around and we lay around all day, our muscles are going to ache. Our body will start to ache. If we're not eating, we're not going to have any energy, and that is going to continue to perpetuate our condition. We have to somehow shift our focus.

Speaker 1: 4:31

Incremental steps really matter, whether we just get up and walk around the house, if we take a shower, if we walk outside, walk to the mailbox. As long as we are getting our body to move, we are able to pull ourselves out. We may not feel like making anything to eat. Perhaps you can warm something up that's already been cooked and is in the refrigerator, or you can order something to eat, but when we don't have energy and we're not eating, we are not helping ourselves. There's always a way through the dark, even if it's just one small step at a time. And if you're struggling, just know that you are not alone and that there is help and there is hope. I know that sometimes you feel as though you've heard all of this before, so why should I believe it now? Well, the truth is, it's up to you to take the steps, because in order for us to really deal positively with our mental health, we must hold ourselves accountable. We have to remember that when we feel stuck and overwhelmed and feel as if we're unable to go on, usually there is a trigger or something that has happened to get us to that point. So if you're able to pinpoint what was going on when you started to feel down, then perhaps you can turn it around. You definitely want to speak with your accountability coach so that you can talk it through and figure out what the next best step should be. Remember that sometimes seeking professional help, getting therapy, talking to a psychiatrist, is necessary.

Speaker 1: 6:27

So many of us have to recognize when we cannot go this journey alone, because even though we may feel resilient, sometimes our resilience becomes weak. And we must recognize when it is time for us to reach out and to seek help, because when we lose hope, and I've talked about this many times. Hope is what sustains us, hope is what gives us the ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and if we lose hope, then our symptoms of depression take a dramatic crash downward. So what can we do when we are feeling this way? You know, I've talked about the fact that sometimes depression does win, and when we recognize that depression is winning, then it's OK for us to retreat, to lay down and to try again the next day.

Speaker 1: 7:41

When we feel as if we are drowning in our own mind. It's like a fleeting sadness that is suffocating ourselves and we just feel like we can't breathe, we can't think clearly and we can't imagine a way out, because all of us have been there and have felt like this is going to be the end of my story, this is going to be the end of my situation. But guess what? You are still here and you are still thriving. So we have to stay in the game of life, even when the cards that we have been dealt are difficult. We have to remember that all of us sometimes feel as though there's a personal cross that we have to bear, but we have to remember that our biggest struggle and the most difficult experiences that we have in our lives prepare us to help other people. Prepare us to help other people. They help us to realize how strong we are and they eventually become our testimony.

Speaker 1: 8:44

It may not feel like it right now because you're feeling so bad, but once you get through it, you will be able to look back, realize that you are still standing, because even in the darkest moments, there is always a spark of light. It might feel distant, but it is there, and remember the darkest hour is just before the dawn. So if you're struggling right now, think about a time when life looked better for you. Is there anything that you can do to get back to that circumstance? Maybe you need to make up with a friend. Maybe you need to go back to a relationship that ended on bad terms but can be rekindled. Think about what do you need to do differently in order to pull yourself through all of this pain? We all have those moments when the weight of the world feels unbearable and quitting seems like the easiest choice. But I want to share why, even when we feel like we can't go on, we should keep going, one step at a time. When we keep going and we realize that the small steps that we are taking will eventually add up. The momentum that we will start to build will remind us about how we have overcome the circumstances of our past.

Speaker 1: 10:33

When it feels like everything is falling apart, sometimes the best thing you can do is to take the next step. It's not about having all the answers. It's just about moving forward, even if it's just a tiny movement. So even if you get up, you get out of bed, you take a shower, you grab a bite to eat in your kitchen, put your pajamas back on and get back in the bed, that has been a little bit of movement in the right direction. When we move backward, it's harder for us then to focus on moving forward. So the key to moving forward isn't about perfection. It's about taking action.

Speaker 1: 11:24

Even if it's messy, progress is still progress and remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Life is hard, challenging. Everyone is always going through something. It's just a matter of whatever that something is for us or for you. How much trauma is it going to cause you? How much pain is it going to cause you, and how much will you need to figure out how to get out of the pain and get back to some normalcy. Feeling overwhelmed and wanting to quit to some normalcy. Feeling overwhelmed and wanting to quit, it doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. But feeling that way doesn't mean the journey is over. It simply means that you need a moment to breathe.

Speaker 1: 12:21

Sometimes we want to quit because we think we're alone or can't handle the burden our problems when people come to us and want to talk to us about their problems. However, when we take on other people's problems, it can sometimes exacerbate our own, and that's why we have to be very careful. And that's why we have to be very careful, especially if we're already feeling alone that we don't allow other people to further derail our emotions. Sometimes, the reason we feel like quitting is because we are tired of carrying everything ourselves, and that's when we must examine is there anyone who can help lighten the load? Sometimes we just take on too much because we expect too much of ourselves. We think that we need to be perfect and therefore we don't delegate, and then, when our plate gets overwhelming and full, we feel like the world is closing in on us. That is why it's so important to protect our peace, so that we do not end up in a situation where we find ourselves in the depths of despair.

Speaker 1: 13:45

So when you want to quit, think about the reason that you're here in the first place. Who is it that you were meant to pour into? What is it that brings you satisfaction? Don't just give up on yourself. Talk about how what you have to offer the world can make a difference. What you have to offer the world can make a difference. When you are down and out, think about the positive things that you bring to the world that no one else does.

Speaker 1: 14:24

Sometimes we quit because we don't see results right away, but when we learn to celebrate the small victories, we can never know what is right around the corner. So celebrate the small victories, knowing that your breakthrough and the bigger victory that you're waiting on is coming. Don't give up. Push through the tough times. Oftentimes we feel like our world is closing in on us and we're in the depths of despair because things are moving too slow and we haven't gotten to that place where we know we deserve to be. But it's during this time that we have to be mindful of how sometimes, when the breakthrough is coming soon, we have a setback. So recognize where you are in the process and don't give up.

Speaker 1: 15:18

Sometimes the struggle it makes us feel isolated, and when we feel isolated and we're alone with our thoughts, oftentimes all of the things that we're disappointed about come to the surface. That is negative thinking that we have to shut off. We have to shut it off and think about something positive. Move away right then. Turn on some music, do something different, refocus your mind so that you are not going to go down that path to what can lead to destruction, because every setback is an opportunity for growth. Failure isn't the end. It's's a lesson. If you keep going, you'll see that failures will build the resilience that you need to succeed.

Speaker 1: 16:14

And I will be the first to tell you that depression and struggling with your mental illness is a tough chore that I would not wish on anyone. But all I can say is we have to still continue to live our lives the best way that we know how, because we only get one life to live and time is ticking away. So what can you do and what will you do to get yourself back on track? So, for your homework, I'd like for you to write down three immediate things that you can do in the next 15 minutes, the next two hours and on tomorrow to help you get out of this feeling of despair. When we write something down, we are more likely to follow through and to complete that action item. So write that down and make sure that you are taking the necessary steps and what you said that you would do Be true to your word, because strength comes from overcoming.

Speaker 1: 17:22

When we're able to bounce back from difficult moments each time that we push through, we become stronger. It helps to build our muscle. You might not feel strong right now. As a matter of fact, you may feel very weak because maybe you haven't eaten, you haven't been sleeping and you really haven't been taking care of yourself. So that's what's happening right now, but it doesn't have to be what's going to happen on tomorrow. Each time you push through a tough moment, you build resilience, and the more resilient you become, the easier it will be to keep going when life throws you curve balls. So again, write down what steps are you going to take in order to move yourself out of this episode of depression. That could become worse and you may find yourself in the depth of despair.

Speaker 1: 18:26

You can do this. I am fully confident in your ability to make it through. But do you believe? If you don't believe, let me believe for you right now. But I do need you to take the steps and be proactive. You've got this. Remember stay in the game of life. Your life is valuable and worth living. I never want to end my podcast without thanking you so very much for listening.

Speaker 1: 18:52

Remember, I have a course called the 14 Days to Mental Health Wellness. It is available on TikTok under Tamara Trotter, and the 14 Days to Wellness. This course is going to help you get your life back on track. It's loaded with positive affirmations. It's loaded with a daily mood tracker, as well as several podcast episodes and videos from me. So if you want to invest in your mental health the way that you possibly invest in other people, it's your turn this time. Invest in yourself so that you can then share your testimony about how you made it through, even though you felt like you couldn't take another step and there was no possible way that you could make it through the next day.

Speaker 1: 19:45

But guess what? You found this podcast, and that means that you care about your mental health and you are being proactive. Remember, you can find us on Twitter, instagram, pinterest, at TT, mental Health Expert. If you would like to help this podcast. Feel free to go to our Patreon page wwwpatreoncom. Backslash Tamara Trotter wwwpatreoncom. Backslash Tamara Trotter. That's T-A-M-E-R-A. Last name Trotter T-R-O-T-T-E-R. This is our second episode for this Friday. We gave you a bonus episode this week. We're so excited. We're going to download it in just a moment and you will have two episodes. So remember, you are the best part of Went Over Depression. Share this podcast with someone else, because you may be the very person who helps another person pull themselves out of the depths of despair. Take care and I will see you next time. Keep the faith.