Win Over Depression -A Podcast about how #MentalWellness #self-care #blackmentalhealth

EPISODE #161- One Small Step at a Time: Finding Hope When You Want to Give Up

• Tamera C. Trotter • Season 12 • Episode 4

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome. To Win Over Depression, the podcast where your pain has a voice and your healing has a home. I'm your host, tamara Trotter, and I've been where you are tired, broken and wondering if joy is ever coming back. But let me tell you this you are not your depression, you are not your darkest day, and here you will find real talk, real tools and real hope. Each week we'll explore how to rise. We'll explore how to rise one breath, one step, one win at a time. So let's heal, let's rise. Let us win over depression together.

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This podcast isn't about pretending everything is fine. It's about telling the truth your truth, my truth and learning how to carry the weight without letting it crush you. Here we shine a light on the hard stuff grief, anxiety, hopelessness and remind each other that healing is messy but possible, whether you're in the midst of a storm or just trying to make it through the day. This space was created just for you. You're seen, you're valued and you don't have to fight alone. Today we'll be talking about what do we do when we are close to giving up. It seems as though once we have managed to solve one problem or issue, another problem raises its head. We have to remember to take one step at a time and figure out what is our role in solving this problem. When everything feels heavy, when even breathing feels like work, it's something so many people quietly carry. You're not alone in that space quietly carry. You're not alone in that space. When we're depressed and miserable, the idea of keeping going can feel impossible. But here's the truth. You don't have to climb the whole mountain today, just one small step and then the other. The tiniest actions matter Getting out of bed, drinking water, taking a shower, getting 15 minutes of sunlight, texting someone who cares. So even when you feel like you're not making progress, look back on what you have done and realize that you are getting better and that you are building momentum.

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It's so important that we put a name to how we're feeling. Say it loud or write it down I'm hurting, I feel hopeless, I'm exhausted. Naming it takes some of its power away, because when we name it and we own it, we know that our next step is to get through it. Instead of looking at the whole day or week, ask yourself what is the next kind thing that I can do for myself? That could be brushing your teeth, wrapping yourself in a blanket or turning on a song that lifts you even a little. Remember it's okay to rest. Rest isn't quitting. It's a sacred pause.

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Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is to stop and breathe. Sometimes we have to borrow hope. When we can't find our own hope, borrow someone else's no-transcript. Let someone else hold up hope for you until you can hold it for yourself again. You are not your depression. You are not your misery. You are a whole worthy 100% of your worst day so far. That's not nothing. That's power, that's resilience. That's not nothing. That's power, that's resilience. And even though it doesn't feel like it, you are doing better than you think. Hang in there. Sometimes we have to cry, and crying isn't a weakness, it is a natural release. Sometimes your soul needs to leak a little to make room for light. So if you need a good cry, it is a cathartic moment, so take advantage of it and you will be feeling better after you've done that.

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It has been difficult for me this last month. I've had some personal adjustments and I've seen many dark days and I have wanted to give up, and that's why I selected this topic for my podcast episode. But you know, I have to look back and remember all of the tools and techniques that I've shared with you. I need to have those manifest in my own life and I have to remember that I too suffer from depression and I too take medication and have to work hard to keep my depression at bay. One of the most important things that I've learned in the last month is how very important it is to practice self-care. No one can be with you 24 hours per day, so we have to be in charge of ourselves and in charge of managing our mental health condition. So what can you do to manage your feelings?

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First, we have to recognize that managing our mental health is a daily journey and there's no shame in needing help, hope and healing along the way. We have to also be reminded that we are sick, we have a mental health condition and our situation, circumstances and how we feel varies from day to day. That depression wins, because that will invariably happen. But as long as we remember that giving up is never an option and we keep pushing ourselves to get up, to wash the dishes, to vacuum one room, to mail a letter, to walk outside, as long as we are trying, as long as you are making a concerted effort to manage your mental health condition. It is so important that you celebrate the small wins, no matter how insignificant they may seem. If you are moving from completing two tasks every day to the next day completing three, that is progress and is building momentum.

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We can be our worst critic, so give yourself credit for for everything that you do. And I want to remind you that managing a mental illness is exhausting, it's hard, it's unfair and it makes life very difficult. But if we continue to move along our journey, all storms come to an end. Bad times cannot last always. It just does not line up with the natural order of things. So when you are feeling down and out, it is okay to seek solace and to get some rest, but when the next day comes about, be ready and positioned to tackle that day with all that you've got and all that you can bring to make yourself feel better. One other thing I want to remind you is when you get up in the morning and you don't eat anything, you are not feeding your mental health. When you have something to eat some toast, some eggs, some bacon, putting something in your stomach you are feeding your mental health and you will naturally get a rise in spirit and feel better when you take a shower. The same thing. When you're taking a shower, you are allowing that hot water to come down and to invigorate you. Some of the small steps that we can take each and every day will set up our day for success.

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So what do we do when we feel like we just can't keep going and we want to give up? We begin to speak life over ourselves. We say things like I am loved, I am not alone, my mind is being renewed. We talk to someone that loves us, an accountability partner, someone who we can speak to, who can inspire us. But we always remember that we are special, important, and even though we're not feeling good right now, it doesn't mean that we will never get to the place where we're going.

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Our mind can be one of the toughest things to ward off. When you have negative thoughts coming into your mind, you have to stop them in their tracks and say oh no, I am somebody, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Do not let that thought get a hold of you, because once it does, you will get a flood of negative thoughts. Replace that negative thought with something positive and, even if you don't feel good, say to yourself. I feel good, I'm fine and this too shall pass. I am going to get through this. I am not my depression. I am going to get through this. I am not my depression. I am somebody and I can overcome.

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When we speak life into our spirit, it means everything.

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When we have a pity party and we're upset and we feel defeated, it is just going to make matters worse. So remind yourself that you are capable of handling your mental health situation and you will get through it. Never give up. Stay in the game of life, keep going, and please know that I completely understand that just saying keep going is not as easy as it may sound. It is difficult, it is hard and you just don't want to, but we must. We have to keep going. We don't have a choice. I never want to end my podcast without thanking you so very much for listening. You are the best part of win over depression and I am so excited to remind you that the 14 days to mental health. Wellness is changing lives and if you want to get your hands on it, look in the show notes. You'll be able to see the link where you can click on it and get it today. Remember, giving up is never an option. We must stay in the game of life and I will see you next time on when, over depression, take care.