Win Over Depression -A Podcast about how #MentalWellness #self-care #blackmentalhealth

EPISODE #162-Managing Depression: 10 Keys to Coping When Everything Feels Dark

• Tamera C. Trotter

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome. To Win Over Depression. I am your host, tamara Trotter. Today we'll be talking about 10 key ways to manage your depression.

Speaker 1:

I want to take the time in this episode to talk about what it feels like to be depressed, and I know that a lot of times people do not understand how depression manifests and specifically what it feels like. So I'm going to give you some examples to help you understand and to relate to others, because I believe that once we know what someone feels like, we have the ability to offer empathy and to really help that person get through the toughest times in their life. So first let us define what it means to manage something. To manage something is to succeed in surviving or in attaining one's aim, especially against heavy odds and the ability to cope. During this episode, we're going to focus on coping, because we want to cope rather than survive, because when we are coping, that means that we are handling the situation or the circumstances the best that we know how. So let us first talk about how does mental illness or depression affect us on sometimes a daily basis. Well, depression often feels like you are sinking in quicksand, and we all know what quicksand is like. It's very difficult to get out, and a lot of times, even if someone tries to pull you out, you still may not be able to get out. So that is a very good definition of what depression feels like. It feels like you are being pulled down, like you are being pulled down, and also let me just point out that people will experience depression in different ways. So as I go through what it feels like, I want you to be aware of your own feelings. So the next feeling is feeling as if you're just in a dark place where you are not wanting to do very much. You don't want to talk on the phone, you are not really interested in doing anything, and so that is a very difficult state to be in and one of the hardest to pull yourself out of. There's also just feelings of being empty, sad, hopeless and helpless, and sometimes you just feel lost. You feel like no one really understands and that nothing really matters, and so when we are in an episode of depression, there are many different levels, and it is important to have a conversation as quick as possible with your accountability coach so that you can get to a better place.

Speaker 1:

Depression also feels like you're suffocating. You feel like disappearing, running away, giving up. It also can feel like a toothache that never goes away. Could you imagine that that would be extremely hard to deal with, because toothaches can be excruciating. Sometimes you feel like you just don't want to be here anymore. You want to sleep all day. You feel like no one understands and it just feels like even the dreams that you have set for yourself, some of the aspirations that you have, really don't matter, because you just don't see yourself getting out of this difficult situation. You're very indecisive, unsure, you feel defeated and it just feels like you're in this black hole and you are sometimes crying a lot and not necessarily knowing exactly why, but it's just this feeling that comes over you and it sounds like it is a dismal existence, and that is because it is.

Speaker 1:

And so when you are interacting with or you believe that someone you love is in a episode of depression, that is the most important time to reach out to them and see what you can do to help. To reach out to them and see what you can do to help. Sometimes just going, just showing up, is the most important thing that you can do, and not even talk. Just showing up and just being there is enough. So I want you to just be aware of what depression may look like, so that you will be able to identify when you are dealing with someone who is in that specific state. But we're also going to talk about how do you manage your situation and the place that you find yourself in. How do you manage it and what are some steps that you can take to be free of the symptoms of depression during this particular episode, because the episodes could last anywhere from two hours to two months, and so two months is a very long time to be depressed, and it is critical that that person get back on track as soon as possible, and hospitalization may actually be something that happens, and so it really just depends on the situation. But someone needs to intervene during that time, especially if it's lasted for a long period of time, because that person will not be able to do it on their own. They will need the assistance from their accountability partner, from their psychiatrist, from someone who is involved in their mental health treatment.

Speaker 1:

So, now that we've talked about what it feels like to be in an episode of depression, let's focus now and explore the keys to managing or coping with the symptoms, and so one of the ways that you cope with it is to stay busy, and I know that that may sound impossible if you're not feeling like doing anything, but again, it is something that you have to make a conscious effort to do to stay busy. So it's doing something around the house, calling a friend, doing something that is going to take your mind off of how you are feeling, that is going to take your mind off of how you are feeling. The next way is to write an entry in a journal and talk about how you are feeling and what you can do to pull yourself out of the situation that you're in, because oftentimes even though I will say it time and time again that there are not necessarily any triggers for depression, there are situations that we find ourselves in that cause us to have an experience, an episode of depression, and only you can identify what that is. So write down some of the barriers, some of the things in your life that hold you back and keep you from being the best person that you can possibly be, and oftentimes we are identifying specific people, words that have been said to us and circumstances that we have found ourselves in that perhaps we need to pull ourselves out of and not be involved in at all.

Speaker 1:

The next way is to be compliant with your medication. So if you're taking medication and during the times that you are in an episode of depression, you just don't feel like taking it, you are actually playing with fire in that you have now increased the chances of you staying in that situation. You've increased them 50% because you're not taking the prescribed medication. Of 50% because you're not taking the prescribed medication. And let me just take a moment to talk with you about taking medication in general.

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Some people just don't want to take medication because of what other people might think, and so I don't believe that if you had a condition that required medication, that your friends or your family would think a certain way about it. So we really have to get out of the notion that when we take antidepressants, it's somehow a bad thing. It means that we can't handle what's going on in our lives. It's a weakness. It means that we're not strong and that we don't have very good coping skills. All of that is nonsense, because there are millions of people who suffer with a mental illness that is untreated because of the stigma that goes along with it. So please do not be discouraged about taking medication, and I've been very transparent that I have taken medication for over 14 years and I continue to take it every day for over 14 years and I continue to take it every day.

Speaker 1:

The next reason that we can survive, manage and cope with our depression is that we have to be very clear that we won't give up, that we won't give in, that we will continue to fight and that we will not let the mental illness get the best of us. And I know that's easier said than done, but you have to develop a mindset and a personal mantra that you will not quit, no matter what, as hard as that may seem. It is so necessary because when you are in this quicksand that we've talked about and you are in this dark place, that is what needs to come to the forefront of your mind that I cannot quit and I will not allow these feelings of suicide to enter my mind, because suicide is off the table forever. It is not a possibility. I have talked many times about how important it is to be willing to do the work, to put in the time that it takes to overcome your symptoms of depression. So what I'd like for you to consider doing is do some research on those people who are managing their depression and find out what they are doing in order to get to a better place, because there are so many people who share their story and how they have overcome their symptoms and what steps they took, and so that is absolutely. Another way that you can manage your depression is to find out how other people made it over.

Speaker 1:

One of the next things that you can do to manage your depression is to be confident in your belief and conviction that this will not last forever and that it will not last always, because our thoughts and our beliefs have a direct correlation to how we are feeling, and if we feel that this is something that will always exist in our life and be very intensive, then that is likely what will happen? So what do you think about your depression and your mental illness? Do you think that there are ways that you can manage it? Do you believe that if you do the work and you are proactive, that you can reduce the episodes that you are experiencing? Because what we believe affects every single outcome in our life. So if you are feeling as if, well, I suffered for so long, I just don't see myself feeling any better, then you already have defeated the possibility of overcoming your condition. So I want you to erase the prior script and erase the prior narrative in your mind that said that you will always feel this way, that you will always feel this way, and I want you to shift your mind toward thinking positively and making sure that you are exuding positivity and creating sunshine in your life. Is it going to be something that is very new to you? Absolutely. Is it going to be something that is very new to you? Absolutely, but is it something that can get you back on the path to being where you should be and give you the opportunity to really experience joy? Because when you can experience joy and that feeling comes over you, it will surely erase all of the negative feelings that you've had. But your mindset is crucial to making this happen.

Speaker 1:

We've covered a lot of ground today, and I'm happy that you have been equipped with more tools in your toolbox to help you to get through episodes of depression. I want to share with you an essay that I wrote several years ago, entitled If I Told you how I Really Feel? If I told you how I really feel, would you still want to be my friend If I told you how I really feel, would you look at me differently? Would you think less of me, think I was weak and allowed others to take advantage of me? If I told you I feel sad almost every day, but on some days I cannot hide it as well? If I told you how I really feel, would you want to be bothered with me? If I told you I had a debilitating condition that controls my thoughts and mood, would you want to be around me? If I told you I have to search for the meaning in life, would you turn your back on me? If you found out I need medication to help me sleep and sometimes I want to lay in bed all day, would you stop checking on me? If I told you much of the time I am in physical and emotional pain, would you think I was a hypochondriac? If I told you I suffer with chronic depression and I see a psychiatrist, would you stop calling me Well, I do have a mental illness and I am afraid to talk about it because society labels me as being crazy.

Speaker 1:

I fake how I really feel most of the time because I do not want to be a burden to you or make you think I'm needy, but I do need you to try and understand that I do struggle, but I pray and fight every day to feel better and to find my true purpose. I am not my mental illness, but I am someone who needs your understanding, empathy and support. Please do not give up on me. I cannot make it without you. Don't give up on me, because I cannot make it without you.

Speaker 1:

Did that essay resonate with you? Is it something that you have contemplated? Are there people that you would like to know, that you suffer with the mental illness but you're afraid? Well, I challenge you to, if you do not already have one, find an accountability partner, someone who you would confide in, who can help you on your journey and path to healing, because it's very difficult to do it alone. So who will you tell today about how you're really feeling? Who will you let in on your darkest secret that happens in the middle of the night when you cry yourself to sleep? Who will you trust with your pain? Because whoever you trust with your pain is going to be the person who can help free you from that pain. Now, will you never have episodes of depression? I cannot say that you will never have episodes of depression, but I will say and I know for certain that you can reduce the number of episodes that you have, and you do have the ability all inside of you to meet your depression head on and not to let it get the best of you. Is it hard work? Absolutely Do. I believe you can do it. I absolutely do. So I encourage you rather than survive your depression and mental illness, learn to manage the symptoms so that your life can be more fulfilling.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so let us talk about the homework for this episode. What I'd like for you to do is to write down three ways that you are going to manage your symptoms of depression in the next 7 to 10 days. How will you manage your depression? What specific action will you take? I also want to encourage you to download an app called Moodily. It's M-O-O-D-I-L-Y. It's M-O-O-D-I-L-Y. This app will allow you to capture on a daily basis, what your mood is like, and by doing this, you'll be able to figure out any patterns that exist as it relates to your mental illness.

Speaker 1:

As it relates to your mental illness, as I talked to you earlier, win Over Depression now has a journal that is available for purchase. This journal will allow you to write down your homework and be able to keep everything that you are working toward with Win Over Depression in a nice little book where it's all together. So if you are interested in purchasing this item, please go to wwwwinoverdepressionorg and click on our products and you'll be able to make the purchase there. In addition, we'll be introducing a new system that we've put into place on Patreon, where we will start having Zoom events that will give you the opportunity to interact with me and other people that are part of WIN over depression, and you will also be able to receive emails and text messages from me directly and have the opportunity to have a conversation with me about your situation. In addition to that, if you are not able to participate in the Zoom live, you will be able to take advantage of the recordings. So I am really trying to get to know my listeners on a more personal level so that I can help you explore your individual situation and put a plan into place. So if you go to my website, you will find all the information there. Remember, you can always reach out to me at Tamara at winoverdepressionorg. Tamara at winoverdepressionorg.

Speaker 1:

I never want to end my podcast without thanking you, my valuable listeners, for being a part of this Win Over Depression community. We are growing and growing and I am so elated that I have the opportunity to pour into your lives and to help you overcome your symptoms and get you to a place where suicidal ideation does not surface and you are able to really enjoy life to its fullest. I would love for you to join my Facebook group called when Over Depression. You can always find me on Pinterest at TT Mental Health Expert. You can reach out to me on Instagram, linkedin or Twitter.

Speaker 1:

I also want to introduce to you what we're doing with Patreon. You can go to wwwpatreoncom. Backslash Tamara T-A-M-E-R-A, underscore Trotter T-R-O-T-T-E-R. We are opening up a opportunity for you to be a part of a community where you learn and experience growth and development from other individuals who are like-minded, who also experience some of the symptoms that you do. So if you would go to patreoncom and subscribe to a membership, that would be fantastic. I will see you next time on when on when over depression. We are at our 81st episode and I look forward to marking our 100th episode in the weeks to come. Stay in the game of life. Remember, giving up is never an option, and we must change our mindset and our thinking if we are to overcome our circumstances. Believe in yourself, because I certainly do. I will see you next time on when Over Depression.