Burgers, Bubbles, and Bullsh*t: How We Drank Our Way Through 2024

$350 champagne with a greasy burger? That’s the kind of culinary anarchy we’re bringing to Episode 190 of The Funky Panther. Mikey finally resurfaces after three years of hiding—probably avoiding our calls—and we’re diving face-first into Fort Worth’s wine scene. Magnolia Wine Bar, 61 Osteria, Bowie House… yeah, we’re basically sommeliers now, except we pair everything with fries. Oh, and did we mention our AI Christmas album? It’s either a masterpiece or a cry for help—jury’s still out.

This episode’s a beautiful dumpster fire of chaos: slap bets, wild bouncer stories, a musician who writes literal poop songs, and our half-baked plan to charm every “Jimmy” in late-night TV into putting us on their shows. We’re also debating natural wine fermentation (spoiler: it’s fancy rot) and dreaming about distilleries because clearly, we don’t drink enough.

As we kick 2024 to the curb, we’re celebrating weddings, Navy dropouts, and career overhauls—all with the kind of reckless humor you’ve come to love (or tolerate). So, grab a drink—or five—and let’s send this trashfire of a year off with the laughter, insanity, and questionable life choices it deserves. 

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Transcript

Holiday Spirits and Wine Conversations

Christmas song 0:00

You better lock the doors, you better hide. He ain't bringing gifts, he ain't got no ride. No jingle bells, no ho, ho, ho.

Chad 0:18

Have you seen the Martha Stewart eggnog recipe?

Prison Mikey 0:21

Apparently it's re-gone viral. Viral, but it's like the amount of cups of bourbon cognac, he's like do a really nice cognac and this one guy took it and he ran with it and put Louis Trey in an eggnog because of her recipe going viral again.

Chad 0:38

It was hilarious.

Prison Mikey 0:39

He's a really good cognac.

Christmas song 0:40

He's like don't fuck you up. No candy canes, just knuckle dust. You've been a naughty little shit. Now he's coming with the reindeer king.

Chad 0:54

Which liquor store? Are you going to?

Javier 0:56

The one by the handjob place Works.

Chad 1:02

Alright, I think it's time to kick off the episode. Timothy, is it? I think it is to kick off the episode, timothy, is it? I think it is.

Chad 1:06

Man, I've been messing with all the other stuff I didn't even have. That I noticed, don't you know?

Chad 1:10

I thought we were doing right after the song.

Chad 1:12

I didn't know, but here we go, all right.

Chad 1:15

Get in here. We got to start the show. We got to start the show. Oh, hello everyone, and welcome to the Funky Panther Coming to you from Fort Worth, Texas. We have got a hell of a show for you here on episode 190. It is the last show of the year and we're so stoked to come to you. There's another one. We have got Mikey in the studio for his second go around. Super stoked to have you here. Man, Appreciate you for hanging out with us.

Tim/Lance 1:56

Thank you for having me Another one, I think you're hitting the fucking panther too much.

Chad 2:03

Sit back, relax, try to enjoy. Let's get into it. I'm Chad, I'm Javier, I'm Tim and we are.

Christmas music 2:08

The Funky Panther.

Chad 2:11

If you missed it right before the show, you should go check out YouTube. We got to preview a Christmas song that we're going to be releasing later this week. In fact, the Funky Panther presents an entire AI Christmas album for you later this week and we're stoked about it. We're going to go viral.

Chad 2:29

You think it's going to be that good, we're going to be on Jimmy Fallon, jimmy Kimmel, jimmy Neutron.

Chad 2:35

All the Jimmys.

Javier 2:37

Jimmy Hack, Jimmy Carter.

Chad 2:41

Yeah, no, seriously, it is so much fun and, to be honest, you, we've been working on it all week and we haven't even finished on what we're doing just yet. Tim is the only one that has heard some of the more finalized versions, so I'm excited about hearing those eventually.

Chad 2:54

Yeah, and I'm going to have to go in there because, unfortunately, you can't really control everything with AI, right, right?

Chad 3:10

So some of them didn't cut off and some of them cut off and some of them had some gibberish in there. Got it some weird shit that sounds like they're summoning demons and whatnot, but, um, summoning semen, okay, nice. Well, you can guarantee that all of the lyrics and the stories and and everything that you're going to hear in this album did come from the boys. Uh, the music obviously did not. I did sort of it did.

Chad 3:25

We hired a band, a big band, a big band man yeah, so jazz standard hits, you know it's gonna be.

Chad 3:32

It's gonna be fun, it's gonna be a good time. We're gonna be posting the shit out of it as soon as it's released, so make sure you check it out. Hopefully in crossing fingers it should be available on Apple Music, spotify and everything else hopefully even like Instagram and TikTok. It'd be pretty neat. Our Funky Panther theme song is out there.

Javier 3:50

It shouldn't be, but it is.

Chad 3:54

I just can't wait to be scrolling through TikTok, and someone is playing one of our songs on there. We'll see.

Chad 4:01

Mikey, how you been man. It has been what two years?

Javier 4:05

Yeah, it was the old studio whenever he was on last.

Prison Mikey 4:08

It's been like three years Three years.

Chad 4:11

Probably pushing three years. Yeah, that was when.

Prison Mikey 4:13

I just started at Magnolia, oh yeah, magnolia Wine Bar.

Chad 4:17

Yeah, you're right, and you have hopped around quite a bit since then.

Prison Mikey 4:22

Yeah, you have been the wine guru of Fort Worth. Yeah, it was. It's been so fun, I think the uh, really, the journey has been long, yeah, but opening new places is like that it's. It's odd. But you kind of get into a rhythm, right. You're like, oh, I'm opening a new spot, like there's all this energy, there's a lot of fun, there's a lot of chaos, and then you do it again and then you're like, why did I do the first one?

Prison Mikey 4:45

and now I'm doing the second one, and then I did it again with the third one. So I went from 61 after magnolia was 61 osteria, the italian concept in downtown, and then it was buoy house. Uh, which have you all been?

Javier 4:58

no, no, I want to because um, they've gotten awards right yeah, they, uh, they have two Michelin keys from the.

Prison Mikey 5:06

Michelin Guide, which it's the first year that Michelin is in Texas and officially releasing their awards and then now I don't know what's next. They just awarded the stars to some places the Bib, Gourmands, the yeah, all of that. It's crazy, but Fort Worth's getting cooler. Fort Worth just keeps on getting cooler, Of course yeah. It just keeps on getting cooler.

Javier 5:27

I mean, we're getting new like a lot more things here.

Chad 5:31

Fort Worth's always been cool.

Javier 5:31

Actual patio stuff Patio stuff.

Tim/Lance 5:34

Fort Worth's always been cool, but it's getting cooler.

Jarrod 5:37

It's getting cooler.

Javier 5:38

If pissing your pants is cool. Call me Miles Davis.

Chad 5:46

The first time you came on, we were talking about all of your accolades, sommelier and whatnot, but we just drank beer. I mean, we drank really good beer, like I remember drinking good shit. Yeah, but you brought us a bottle of wine last time and we've been holding on to it until you came back on the show. So you open that you're doing, you know, letting it do its airy thing.

Chad 6:01

Yeah, right, uh, and we got a few bottles here One that I brought back from Austria a while back, one that Javier has acquired from Napa, and then the one that you brought, and then a Los Jarros Pinot as well.

Javier 6:13

So we want to get into it.

Chad 6:14

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Javier 6:16

Hell yeah, baby, let's go. I'm here to get drunk and I'm here to get slated.

Chad 6:21

I mean I will pour because you're the guest, but I also don't want to do it wrong, Like I feel, like Is there a particular way you should pour, or actually serve the wine?

Prison Mikey 6:31

I guess in restaurants, in a formal setting, you're not supposed to pick up the glasses, but when you're at home, the very first fucking thing I did. When you're at home and you're sitting down next to a fire, just pick up the glass, just pour it up, so I've always been a fan of just pouring whatever white and then adding some red to it.

Chad 6:53

There's a rosette it's a blend. It's a blend. Right.

Prison Mikey 7:00

I did go to Paso in 22, and it was really interesting because the winemaker for Opolo Wines was like you should start blending your wines. He was like, blend different reds that you have together. I was like what he was like.

Chad 7:19

I do that with my wines all the time and it was so interesting, like whatever you got left over.

Prison Mikey 7:23

Yeah, he was like sometimes you could make like and that's how that guy that was on the um, uh, the documentary where it's called sour grapes, where he's like faking oh, yeah, some of the world's most expensive wines. I don't know what formula he had to to make it happen, but he would blend different shit together and trick people into being like you're drinking a four4,000 bottle of wine. Holy shit, that's wild and he's like just in his kitchen like steaming labels off of wine bottles re-adhering them. What if he's like?

Javier 7:53

pouring Coca-Cola in them like is that what they? Do right People pour Coke in their wine.

Chad 7:58

Calimoto Dude, I actually really like it with like Stella Rosa Black and Coke is fucking phenomenal yeah why not?

Chad 8:06

so this first one is from grinsing, which is in austria um weiser burgunder. You want to pass it that way and see if any of them want any.

Javier 8:16

If anybody wants some wiser grundle, weiser burgunder, do I spin it like this, like how I see in the yeah, yeah.

Chad 8:23

How are you supposed?

Javier 8:23

to choose.

Tim/Lance 8:24

It's releasing the tannins.

Chad 8:25

Don't hit too hard.

Prison Mikey 8:26

These are bubbles on the bottom of glasses, the, the bubbles might actually, you know, kind of call out to the the youthfulness of the wine okay, oh so normally when it's an older type it's bubbly all the way through well, no it, it diminishes so like as it ages. You won't. This is a still wine, so it's not supposed to have a bubble bubble to it, but I can see that there's some little bubbles clinging, but it just is really fresh.

Chad 8:56

I also see the bubbles. I guess I'm getting better at this, because I too see bubbles.

Prison Mikey 9:03

But when you taste it too, this wine is really fresh.

Javier 9:07

It has a hint of Dracula piss.

Prison Mikey 9:11

From Austria.

Chad 9:14

From the hillside. This is really good though.

Prison Mikey 9:17

That's right too. We have to watch Nosferatu.

Javier 9:20

Oh yeah, Christmas.

Prison Mikey 9:22

Day.

Javier 9:23

Is it coming out on Christmas Day? That's what they said we went to watch daft punk, uh, their uh re-release of interstellar 5555, and they had the the trailer for nosferatu. We're like what the fuck is this what's? Of course they don't show you anything until the very end of the trailer and I'm like holy fuck. And then, uh, the nosferatu went across the screen and uh, my girlfriend's like what'd that say? And I think it says like Pep Boys or something. And she's like I fucking hate you yeah whenever.

Chad 9:53

I saw that preview come up. I was really fucking pumped about it, because I actually like the. What is it like the 1930s? I think it's whenever it came out Nosferatu or whatever. The dude's got the crazy nose Looks pointy ears, all pointy teeth.

Christmas music 10:10

He's a vampire. It's a vampire, it doesn't look like your traditional vampire.

Chad 10:13

That was the thing.

Chad 10:14

But it's a vampire.

Chad 10:15

It looked like he was going to just eat your whole body and not just suck your blood.

Tim/Lance 10:18

He's going to eat your whole.

Javier 10:20

He's going to eat your whole and he's going to eat your hole and he's going to suck that blood. He's going to eat your holiday hole. I think I read somewhere the director, Robert Eggers. He personally thanked SpongeBob for introducing people to Nosferatu, because a lot of people really didn't know who he was. If you look, that up.

Christmas music 10:39

it's true, it's a real thing.

Javier 10:41

I'm not kidding.

Tim/Lance 10:42

Seriously, look it up, look it up.

Javier 10:43

I think he's the guy that did the Lighthouse, was he?

Chad 10:47

Yeah, spongebob, I believe, yep, SpongeBob, but you liked me lobster didn't you?

Javier 10:51

Yeah, this is really delicious though.

Chad 10:53

All right, how should we be drinking this?

Javier 10:55

What is the Open mouth?

Prison Mikey 10:57

So actually these glasses are fun, yeah, open. Well, smelling it is. The first part is the swirl Okay, swirl, and then the smell. So you swirl to get the aromas, kind of like, coming out of the glass and what you're going to smell are different esters, you're supposed to smell it, not inhale it, god damn. Yeah.

Chad 11:21

I've watched people do like this with like this with a little. From the audience. What is the audience Doing this with bourbon? But I've watched somebody Take it and I swear they're dipping their nose into the bourbon. They like really get into it.

Prison Mikey 11:36

What is that guy that represented the Dalmore Richard Patterson Scottish guy? He does the thing where he says you swirl it, you throw it away, and he literally throws scotch onto the tasting room floor. That guy is wild he's, but his thing was like really get in there and I liked that. These glasses you know you should, you should get in there. You should get in there. You should get in there and smell like that. These glasses you know you should. Yeah, you should get in there. You should get in there. You should get in there. Smell all that you can smell. And there's actually it's. So esters are kind of you know, some kind of fruity, something that smells like fruit in some way, and then there's like terpenes which, funny enough, you when weed smells really loud.

Prison Mikey 12:23

Yeah, but also these terpenes are kind of like the perfumed nose on certain aromatic wines. I feel like this one is just so floral and so fresh but it almost has kind of that essence of spritz perfume.

Chad 12:41

I don't even know what I should be tasting.

Chad 12:42

It's very bright, it is very bright.

Chad 12:44

I don't know what I should be tasting. It's very bright. It is very bright. I don't know what I should be tasting. I mean, I guess tasting is subjective, but you should be.

Prison Mikey 12:52

You probably shouldn't really be like tasting too much oak, but I almost get like tropical fruit on this one, where this is a wine from Austria.

Chad 13:59

I mean, I was getting a little bit of funk in the nose originally. Yeah. I don't know what that is. It's probably how you smuggled it.

Chad 14:07

It almost like I feel like it should be buttery, but it's not right yeah, but these aren't, I guess? I don't know.

Wine Pairings and Casual Favorites

Prison Mikey 14:14

It kind of smells like the banana is going a little too ripe.

Chad 14:19

The banana is getting a little.

Tim/Lance 14:22

I can see that.

Prison Mikey 14:24

I mean, it's kind of like a good note.

Chad 14:27

What's those banana beers we like?

Chad 14:29

Oh man, I haven't had one of those in forever. Who made that Bell? I think it was Bell, yeah, no, it was an English beer. Wells, wells, yeah, yeah, but they have banana bread, right yeah, banana bread beer. That was one that we used to get from uh central market and just every? Yeah, I would get those every christmas.

Chad 14:47

I haven't had one in years I haven't had one of those in a while. I haven't really drank that much beer in a while yeah um, I've been mostly just on liquor so, mikey, what level sommelier are you?

Prison Mikey 14:57

I'm certified, which is the second level in the quartermaster sommeliers. Um, I'm going to keep studying for my advanced. I think the last time I was on the podcast I was like saying something along those lines, but opening new businesses is not it's not the way to study. Yeah, but I think it was study by doing and get more exposure to wines and open a lot more stuff and taste a lot more things.

Chad 15:23

so it's like education on the streets it really is, though, like you kind of need both worlds hard knock education trial by fire yeah 100.

Prison Mikey 15:34

It's fun, but and that was, that was all that uh, 61 and buoy house really were. So for the last two years I was having enough time to set up, maybe maybe set up my day, and then after that it was like music's going to start. Guests are going to come in, now you have to go to the table, you have to suggest a bottle of wine, to go, get that bottle of wine and serve it, and then I would have time to go to the next table and do that, and so it was constant. But that's really fun again to get exposure to different wines, and people were generous and kind to bring any wine that they had in their cellar. Maybe they were like I'll pay a corkage fee, but I really want to show this to you and it's stuff that I couldn't even get. So that was great.

Chad 16:19

Yeah, but you're very generous too. I remember going to Magnolia and you opened some kind of port. That was older than me, I mean it was old we tried a couple actually, yeah, and they were older than me. And it was like super sweet and oh, it was so good.

Prison Mikey 16:35

Yeah, yeah, those they're like 1920s.

Christmas song 16:40

Yeah, it was super old.

Prison Mikey 16:41

Yeah, it was really and it had been hanging out for a while, yeah, and then I think the owner and I, marty, were like I mean, let's just try to see if we can do this by the glass and give people tasters. And then a couple people were like, yeah, I'll try it out it was cool. Yeah. And then when the holidays come, look at the bottle, you shake it a little bit like yeah, it's like maybe like four or five ounces in here.

Chad 17:06

And then you just take it home. This is mine now. I was watching something and they talked about there's a price point where wine really like it's not any better Like, and this one person said it's like above three buck chuck at trader joe's everything above that is all the same.

Chad 17:26

They said like a like 700 was their limit, like anything above 700 oh, like a wine list. Yeah, oh yeah then it's, it's, it's just not it's all gonna taste the same like not necessarily the same. But you know, same, it's just not going to be anything special.

Prison Mikey 17:41

Yeah, sometimes even like $500. Yeah, it depends on what you're going for, like the name that you're chasing, like if there's a winemaker's name attached to it, or like a cult following with this winery. I mean, if you get a good vintage of that, that's one thing. But some of these expensive wines you're paying for current vintage and it should stay in the cellar for like another five or six years or like sometimes eight that's insane, and then you go to a restaurant like that and you're you're shelling out the money, but it's.

Prison Mikey 18:12

You're at a restaurant, you know it's like you're not like in a wine collector's space, like having this at their home. What is your?

Prison Mikey 18:19

favorite type of wine do you have a favorite? Right now? I keep on going back to this because I tell people all the time I'm like the first thing that I studied with Beaujolais in France is like the most casual wine, the most casual red wine you could have, it's like $20 average, maybe $14. And then if you get into the Nouveau, it's like 20 average, maybe 14, and then if you get into the nouveau, it's like 10. So, um, but really good stuff from really good producers who are like natural, they're doing everything properly, they're just, they're not messing with the wine, they're just letting the vines grow. When it comes time for harvest, they do big celebration, they press, they make the wine and then they're like all right, let's release it. Yeah, um, that's. That's always been my favorite.

Javier 19:05

I think it's because it's easy, it's a wine of the people yeah, yeah, just make it throw it out, and that's it, we're done and it's juicy.

Prison Mikey 19:13

For a red too. It's almost like the. It's the cousin of pinot noir, so it's still light, but it's actually got. Maybe depending on who makes it, it's got a little bit more color to it. It's got a little bit more like fruity pop and less of that oak.

Chad 19:27

Fruity pop. I'm a big Pinot Noir fan.

Rosé Wine and Humorous Banter

Javier 19:30

You like Pinot a lot, I know you do.

Chad 19:32

He's just a fan of Pinot in general, but when it's Noir it's even better.

Javier 19:37

So what's the wildest food combination for the expensive wine that you've seen People are like?

Chad 19:45

no, I think I'll have tuna fish out of a can you know weird stuff like pairings. What is a?

Prison Mikey 19:49

bad pairing, a bad pairing that you've seen and made you cringe, or maybe a bad pairing, but also the most unique.

Javier 19:56

You're like you know what Respect? Yeah, absolutely.

Chad 19:59

Like a PB&J Grilled cheese Like a $100 bottle of wine.

Prison Mikey 20:04

For my wife and I's anniversary. We had Grumps burgers and a really nice champagne Like the champagne bottle was like going to retail for like $350.

Chad 20:21

And Grumps. I think it was better with a $350 bottle of champagne.

Chad 20:25

At least it was gourmet burger oh, it was amazing it was a good story.

Prison Mikey 20:29

Now, and then the worst pairing is sushi or oysters like anything, like really raw fish and like a heavy inky cabernet, like when you start the night and you're like let's get an appetizer of oysters and then just and I would have people do this at restaurants that I've worked at, I'm not going to say who, but $350 bottle they're like here's the most amped up inky oaky Cabernet and oysters.

Tim/Lance 20:57

Oh my.

Prison Mikey 20:57

God, there's two like there's a chemical reaction that actually happens in your mouth, where it makes it taste like blood, like iron nevermind, I can't even say it we've all seen the movie.

Chad 21:11

I mean, maybe they're into that, it's like why didn't like Jacob?

Javier 21:14

nevermind okay, so like no what was the movie?

Chad 21:19

yeah, the one with the you got a microphone over there. Someone get the microphone. It was the one where there you got a microphone over there. Hey, you got a.

Chad 21:24

Someone get the microphone it was the one where there's the bathtub water. Salt burn, salt burn, salt burn.

Prison Mikey 21:29

It's the one with the bathtub water. Have you seen Salt Burn?

Chad 21:33

Yes. Jesus. I knew that's where you were going with, like the irony. Oh yeah, it's hilarious.

Prison Mikey 21:39

Yeah, I was in the theater, watching that with like maybe two other people.

Chad 21:43

You watched it in the theater. Yeah, you psycho.

Prison Mikey 21:46

And there was maybe two other people in the theater.

Chad 21:48

I feel like that's like going to see what was that movie where it starts off. It's just Willem Dafoe's dick.

Tim/Lance 21:54

Oh.

Chad 21:54

I could watch that one. Nympho, yeah, nymphomaniac, oh my God.

Chad 21:58

I watched about five minutes of that. Do you think that was his dick After he got hit with the rock? Is that the same movie? You mean the rock like people's oboe rock? Yeah. Yeah the rock I just got on.

Javier 22:11

Pornhub and I just all nude scenes.

Prison Mikey 22:14

All nude scenes. I thought Pornhub was banned.

Javier 22:17

Not if you have a VPN. This episode brought to you by ExpressVPN, expressvpn, nordvpn. Expressvpn NordVPN. Use code Funky Panther for 10% off your first visit.

Chad 22:27

Honestly, that's who we should get sponsored by. It would be a good bet. It makes sense.

Javier 22:31

Did you know the salt-burned vinyl?

Christmas song 22:35

Yes.

Javier 22:35

Have you seen it? Yes, where it's like got the water and pressed in it.

Chad 22:39

Yeah, it's like this gross like kind of.

Javier 22:42

Cum-water looking Sorry, pressed in it. Yeah, it's like this gross, like kind of.

Chad 22:45

Cum looking, cum water looking. Sorry, sorry, foggy water inside the vinyl, like pressed in the vinyl, so you move it and the water moves around within the. It looks disgusting but also great.

Chad 22:54

So you're saying sorry, but if people don't remember when Mikey was on here, he turned us on to a podcast. It's no longer the name. Oh, fucking Cumtown.

Javier 23:03

The Cumtown to a podcast. It's no longer the name oh fucking come down the come town

Chad 23:06

now it's adam friedland show. Oh yeah, oh yes, yeah but, stavi without the other

Javier 23:08

boys. I can't really. Yeah, stavi, just I and I always go back to one episode uh of come town and it's where they're uh talking about american idol and this guy, uh, this old like lounge his dad invented infomercials they're listening to this other guy's podcast and just clowning the shit out of him. It's fucking gold, I'm not sure if I sent y'all what it was. I'm so bad at telling stories I don't want to say it and butcher it, but I'll send you the link later.

Chad 23:41

I couldn't get behind that tireire show that he was in. Everyone seemed to like it.

Prison Mikey 23:45

I just didn't care for it. Yeah, I watched one episode.

Chad 23:50

I was like ah, is it called Tires, is it? Called Tires, I think it's called Tires. I'm going to watch it. I mean, I watched all of it just hoping for the best and I just couldn't get it.

Chad 23:59

Jesse was trying to get me tickets to Shane Gillis for Christmas. That would have been cool.

Chad 24:03

Shane Gillis is lit there, but then she realized.

Chad 24:05

Well, she started looking at the pricing. And it's just to get a decent seat. It was like astronomically high and I'm like I don't want, do not spend any of that kind of money on me to go see Shane Gillis.

Chad 24:15

He doesn't deserve it, Jesse. He really fucking doesn't.

Tim/Lance 24:24

If it's you, yeah, I don't need that.

Chad 24:25

Spend the money to put me in a Courtside. Tickets to what would you pair?

Chad 24:29

with this, mikey, this would be a little seafood, right, or no?

Prison Mikey 24:33

Yeah, I would do this with seafood all day and then I have been on a wedge salad, kick Like when it's nice out but it's still cool Wedge salad and just go and get an iceberg wedge and just chop it up, I hear I hear a wedge salad is just a salad, but just a part of uh lettuce, is that right?

Chad 24:54

it's just it's a wedge.

Prison Mikey 24:56

It's just all of us it's something that's inside of all of us.

Chad 25:01

That's what a wedge salad is. It's a part of all of us. That's what a wedge salad is. It's a part of all of us.

Javier 25:04

I think that was in the Bible, where God spread a lettuce and he said let there be wedge. Now it's with you. A part of my body is in this lettuce. Eat it, oh yeah.

Tim/Lance 25:15

Yeah, I remember that one, I think it was.

Javier 25:16

Leviticus 29.

Chad 25:17

This is I don't know. Oh wait, no, this is going to get sacrilegious.

Christmas music 25:21

Balsamic with the blood. This is going to get sacrilegious real quick.

Chad 25:25

The problem is we're going to end up having a. We'll get this will somehow get clipped through opus clips and we'll get hit with all the religious people. Oh yeah, for sure.

Javier 25:34

He doesn't believe in Jesus.

Chad 25:36

Javier. So this is the wine. What's the story of this one, the?

Javier 25:39

story of this wine is my dad has a subscription to wine and he has bottles at the shop and they're just stacking up and I just took a bottle yeah, this one's from Napa and I've actually had it.

Chad 25:50

I took one of my daddy's bottles. Yeah, this is a winery that.

Javier 25:54

I actually went to in Napa one time as a matter of fact, I think he gathered a bunch of these bottles for my sister's quinceanera a couple years ago.

Chad 26:02

Some of y'all might like this. This is actually pretty sweet, it's good.

Javier 26:07

I've had this one before it smells like juice Sweetberry wine. Sweetberry wine. Oh, we had a song like that, didn't?

Chad 26:15

we, we tried to have a song like that.

Javier 26:19

Cheers Javi.

Prison Mikey 26:21

Cheers buddy. Cheers, cheers, javi, cheers, buddy Cheers. This is a yeah, this is like the Italian Brachetto style, which is like a Sparkling Low alcohol, like slightly sweet.

Chad 26:34

Oh like a chugging A chugging wine. That's like that's sitting around the fire Drinking some Boone's Farm. It tastes like candy, it does it's. I'm not a big um. I typically don't do a lot of sweet uh wines, yeah, I like the more. I'm more on the drier side of things yeah, that is sweet that's, that's sweet that's good, though.

Chad 26:54

It is good for, like, just take your foot, your foot off, sweet, you know what I mean for something I don't think it's unexpected.

Prison Mikey 26:59

I was like, wow, this is a really dark rosé. And then I was.

Tim/Lance 27:02

I don't think it's a diabetic wine. I need my insulin shot.

Javier 27:06

I'm.

Chad 27:07

Wilford Brimley. And this is diabetes. This is diabetes wine.

Javier 27:10

This is good.

Chad 27:11

Is it true that wine's not good unless you can screw off the cap? Is that true?

Prison Mikey 27:17

It's about to be. If you can't get your hands on cork anymore. I mean depends on who you are in the wine business. But a lot of people are like I'm just going to switch to these screw caps. They're sustainable, they're easily made and after covid there was like that weird little like you felt it right. It's like why can't we get certain things? Yeah right, more expensive, yeah, and with like the wine business.

Christmas music 27:39

They were like well some winemakers were like we can't get glass and we can't get get certain things, yeah right right, right, it's really more expensive.

Prison Mikey 27:42

And with the wine business they were like well, some winemakers were like we can't get glass and we can't get corks, so what are we going to do? And so now I think they've kind of fixed the glass issue because they're just getting better systems in place. Yeah, but cork is? I mean drink a lot of wine worldwide.

Chad 28:11

So it's like between Europe and the Americas. We're drinking so much wine, so corks hard to come by. It might be well, yeah, coming years. So I understand, like you know, maybe part of its tradition. You know that's how they first started storing their wine, by sealing up with cork and everything. But there has to be liquid contacting the cork right, because then oxygen can seep through.

Prison Mikey 28:26

Yeah, but with this, with the screw caps.

Chad 28:30

There's a there's a.

Prison Mikey 28:32

There's a seal that's created because the thing that's on in inside of the cap will actually seal the wine.

Chad 28:39

So so what's what's better then?

Prison Mikey 28:40

I mean, I hear bag is better better, that's true, being able to bottle and sell your wine.

Chad 28:47

The bag bag one is well, because like there's no oxygen getting in. Right, it's just like sucking the hair nozzle there were these, uh because oxygen you're you're enemy right whenever it comes to to wine yeah, there there were these people that subscribe to a wine, uh, wine club for plump jack.

Chad 29:06

I don't know if you've heard of that wine no it's like I think that's what they called me back in college plump jack yeah, yes it's one of the cold wineries, so people that's seen it, man he is plump

Prison Mikey 29:16

jack yeah, they wait, they wait for releases and they're like, hey, hey, you know, every time this thing gets released they contact their people. A lot of it sells out through the to the wine club. Um, but they said, hey, we're going to probably switch over to screw caps. So they sent their wine club people a corked version and a screw cap version of the same wine and they were like, please don't be mad because the future releases might be the screw cup, but just like, put in your cellar and then, whenever you want to try them, try them side by side. We're sending this to you, okay to?

Chad 29:50

try like just to make sure you you don't get mad kind of like a dry run yeah dry run yeah, it'd be a dry run, wet run, but it's a wet run because it's liquid wet products.

Chad 29:58

Yes, so whatever came of that was it. Was it like, do you know? Like, was it better or worse?

Prison Mikey 30:03

I haven't had anybody talk to me about opening it. I mean it's the new release too, so I mean I think they want to wait for a little bit until it settles out. I mean, it's just a tradition thing at this point, Right Like it's yeah. Eh.

Chad 30:25

The Australian and like New Zealand, so like a lot of wines to get or just just crack them up.

Javier 30:27

But they're also into like selling their bottles and making that's part of their currency or some shit. 25 didgeridoos here, I don't know what their, their, currency is Dingos here, dingo pressed baby eating mongrels. I'm willing to give away my boomerang. Whenever I hear the whole continent.

Chad 30:44

Yeah, we did.

Prison Mikey 30:49

Whenever I hear somebody talking that accent, I'm like they talk funny.

Javier 30:52

Oh my God, it's going to be like that episode of the Simpsons all over again. You didn't know that.

Chad 30:56

It's like how they make some of their.

Chad 30:59

Oh, you weren't joking.

Chad 31:00

No, I'm serious. They collect the bottles and they go turn it in and they get money back, right yeah?

Chad 31:06

Is the whole country poor? It may be.

Chad 31:08

Yeah, because you could do that here, but not really but usually it's the poors.

Javier 31:12

Well, do you know what recycling is have you been to you know for coins California.

Prison Mikey 31:16

Recycling's for the poor.

Javier 31:22

Market. That's why that guy goes around in that trash cart who fucking recycles around here.

Chad 31:27

You got a can today, boy.

Tim/Lance 31:29

Sorry sir no.

Chad 31:31

Fort Worth recycles. Yeah, fort Worth does recycle. Big fan of the recycling line, according to John.

Javier 31:34

Oliver, like 5% of actual recycling is only going through.

Chad 31:38

I will say that Fort Worth is very good with their recycling program. He does too. He does talk. Funny, I will say that Fort Worth is very good with the recycling program. He does too, he does talk funny.

Javier 31:44

He's a god damn. What's that cockatoo in the Lion King, or what's that?

Christmas music 31:48

man, this is Zazu, yeah, zazu he's fucking.

Javier 31:51

Zazu.

Chad 31:52

John Oliver Zazu.

Chad 31:52

John Oliver Zazu in Lion King fucking A and like the new one no, like well, the newer one, I'm glad I ate those two burritos on my way here, goddamn.

Chad 32:02

Why is that, Javier?

Chad 32:03

Because this is Especially with the whiskey You're going to get a little toasty yeah.

Chad 32:08

My butt's warm Javier's wine has a sidecar, and that sidecar is whiskey.

Javier 32:15

This is what we deal with here. Black land is my chief. All right, I got a question for you Wine cocktails.

Chad 32:23

Oh, okay, so what's your thought on wine cocktails, like any particular one that you've had that stands out.

Prison Mikey 32:34

I mean, besides the good old standby spritz just like sangria, different versions of sangrias, but a lot of the ones that have been given to me are less sweet. A white sangria even has gotten presented to me as more in the craft world. I guess people are trying to put stuff in there that makes it interesting and fun, but they're not just loaded up with Sprite or the Sprite cranberry.

Javier 33:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was about to say that Winter Spice cranberry, jesus Christ, but it used to be that way and now I feel like everything's getting more like crafty.

Prison Mikey 33:11

It's interesting. I don't like sweet stuff as much, but I do like this a lot.

Javier 33:15

It's not too sweet. It's sweet but not overbearing. I don't think Like. I mean mean sweet wine is like bag wine. It's like meant to be sweetened for you to get drunk with your chef boyardee ravioli.

Chad 33:27

But I mean this is you know did you have some of this wine yet did you, okay, taste it and think about the hugo spritz in Italy?

Tim/Lance 33:36

like the hugo spritz hugo.

Chad 33:38

You said that and that's what. Immediately because it was kind of sweet and had some like yeah, it's really good now it's like kind of flowery too, like this.

Prison Mikey 33:46

This wine too is very floral, like just like the first one it's like you got like a hibiscus okay flavor almost, so I had a uh yes, thank you.

Javier 33:55

I hate seeing hibiscus. I had to look, I had to look it up.

Chad 33:59

Um, but I had a cocktail in and whatever was up in eureka springs called called Slow Boat to China.

Chad 34:05

Which I still feel is extremely racist, sounds very racist.

Chad 34:07

Something about that is not okay, it had Pierre Fernand 1840 cognac. So it was cognac and a float of cab, dark cherry, honey and clove. That was one of the best drinks.

Prison Mikey 34:22

I've ever had A floater of cab.

Chad 34:25

Just a floater of cab on it.

Prison Mikey 34:26

Okay, I like that a lot.

Chad 34:30

The cognac and the cab, and then the dark cherry, the honey, the clove. All just paired really really well together.

Prison Mikey 34:36

I like that they're using cognac too. It's like a nice little nod.

Chad 34:40

I'm becoming a fan of cognac. I love cognac. I've been a fan of cognac for a while. I had that bottle of Cavasier for a long time. I've been actually drinking that quite a bit more and I'd like to start getting into some more of that brandy and cognac.

Javier 34:55

Are you smoking black and moths when you're doing that?

Chad 34:57

Why? Why, do you ask, does that pair? Well, it does, it really does.

Javier 35:04

The fuck dude. I'm sorry, I drink Hennessy and ginger ale. That's my drink of choice. It's very delicious.

Chad 35:10

I want to know whoever came up with the Incredible Hulk. You know what?

Chad 35:13

Hennessy and hypnotic. Come on, let's go. Jesus, mary and Joseph, those were I don'tic in it is a good combination. What was hypnotic it?

Chad 35:22

was a melon liqueur right it was a um no.

Chad 35:26

What's the blue? Uh, what's? The passion fruit what flavor is this blue? I think it is passion fruit. I think you nailed it. I think it is passion fruit passion fruit um because I remember the parrot bay passion fruit kind of tasted like it, but it was cheaper back in the day and so so we would get Parrot Bay. Is Parrot Bay even a? Thing anymore. Yeah, I think. Parrot.

Chad 35:45

Bay is still nice.

Chad 35:46

Parrot Bay Passion Fruit and be like oh, this is almost like hypnotic, but it's clear and we were broke, so we'd drink that.

Chad 35:51

It was a rite of passage, though.

Chad 35:53

You get the hypnotic and then we would have it up still full Like blue Gatorade. That way you look like you still have hypnotic in the bottle Nice, it was very childish and then use it in a rap video. Because that's what Roy and I did. We had a bottle of Alizé with orange juice in it and a bottle of hypnotic with blue Gatorade, and we did a rap video.

Chad 36:17

Trade secrets there? I didn't know, I didn't know.

Chad 36:19

I didn't know, that.

Tim/Lance 36:19

That's what was in the bottle.

Chad 36:20

Those were already empty.

Chad 36:21

Yeah, I thought those were actually still in the.

Chad 36:24

I tricked you 20 years later, 20 years later, man.

Chad 36:26

You're pulling the. What is it?

Prison Mikey 36:29

The curtain's back the curtain's back man, Biggie and Tupac they.

Tim/Lance 36:34

They both got you into.

Prison Mikey 36:35

Alizé, yeah, yeah.

Chad 36:37

Super Nintendo.

Javier 36:38

It's a hell of a life hey so, besides the alcohol talk, what are you watching right now? I really like to know what you're watching.

Prison Mikey 36:48

My wife and I we started Baby Reindeer.

Javier 36:51

Oh yeah.

Tim/Lance 36:52

Fuck yeah, God you're so loud.

Prison Mikey 36:57

I think I got a little uncomfortable. It's just an odd show to watch when life is stressful and then you're like, oh damn, this girl's really getting after this dude.

Christmas music 37:07

It can make you anxious.

Prison Mikey 37:08

And it's just really awkward. The first episode. It's supposed to be that way, but I'm like I'm getting a lump in my. Then we watched Station Eleven.

Javier 37:18

Okay.

Prison Mikey 37:19

We finished that which was a great show.

Chad 37:22

That was really good. I forgot about that one.

Prison Mikey 37:23

That was very good it was kind of like odd, because station 11 is like, not gory but it has violence in it, right, but it's not like and I don't even think there's a single sex scene in there which I was like nobody's getting naked, no one's getting like and we still liked it. What the fuck? And then my wife flipped from that to bridgerton and I I'm like, okay, I can't. Well, I'm not watching Bridgerton with her.

Chad 37:46

But yeah, no, I can't, I just hear things. The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre had no actual scenes showing true violence.

Javier 37:54

Hmm, Just running.

Chad 37:56

Yeah, it was all alluded to, Like you'd hear the.

Chad 38:06

I know she's got boobs.

Tim/Lance 38:08

I know what you're doing. I'm just shaking my boobs. I know who she is.

Javier 38:14

I'm just shaking like what's his name on Along? Came Polly, yeah, no.

Tim/Lance 38:21

Yeah, Ben Stiller, yeah, yeah no, yeah, her boobies were jiggly in that jiggly shirt.

Javier 38:25

In what show Movie the Texas?

Chad 38:26

Chainsaw Massacre. Oh, I didn't realize she was in that. That's a new one I'm talking about the original one from the 70s? Oh, no, I never, saw the original one.

Chad 38:33

She was in the show on HBO where they're on vacation. Huh, white Lotus. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, she was in White Lotus.

Javier 38:41

She is in True Detective. That's the first yes.

Anime Shows and Wine Tasting

Chad 38:45

That was my her in anything and a hell of a show it was huh what yeah, she killed that show. True detective was great yeah did you watch any of the newer ones? I haven't seen the newest one. The newest one's alaska and that one was pretty good like. I like that one quite a bit, the one previous to that yeah, the problem was is they that the first one said have you seen a true detective?

Chad 39:07

I've only seen the first season, so the first season, you, you, could you seen a True Detective?

Prison Mikey 39:10

I've only seen the first season.

Chad 39:11

So the first season you could stop there.

Prison Mikey 39:13

Here's the superior season.

Chad 39:14

It was Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson.

Chad 39:16

They blew it out of the water and nothing is going to compare to it.

Javier 39:19

Tim, can you turn that air on, because it's getting kind of toasty.

Chad 39:22

I don't know the one with the California one. That one was pretty good too.

Javier 39:26

Watchmen was good too. Watchmen show was good too.

Chad 39:30

Yeah, we're just yelling out shows now, sorry.

Prison Mikey 39:34

I need to see the Watchmen show.

Javier 39:36

It's really good that, and Shrinking on Apple Apple TV.

Chad 39:42

Shrinking. Yeah, we just watched the newest episode right before we came over here.

Prison Mikey 39:46

Did y'all see that on Apple, the Severance show? Yes, that one was like wild to me.

Chad 39:53

They're coming out with a second season here next month.

Javier 39:56

I believe there's too much stuff on.

Prison Mikey 39:58

Yeah, there's so many things to watch. And then there's people that are like are you watching any of these anime shows? I'm like I'm not watching any anime. Do you not watch anime? My wife does not abide anime.

Javier 40:11

And she's like, like, can we watch something else? I'm like, yeah, so you watch, but she doesn't. Yeah, what are you watching? What?

Prison Mikey 40:16

were you watching? Uh, I was trying to just get back into it and just start back with the classic cowboy bebop. Oh so I just watched. Uh, I got it on vinyl I watched.

Chad 40:25

Yeah, me too I watched that not too long ago. Uh, went through there. Uh, chainsaw, uh, uh, chainsaw man. That was the last one I watched.

Chad 40:31

Oh my gosh, so good Cowboy, I watched that not too long ago Went through there, chainsaw man, chainsaw man with the chainsaw. That was the last one I watched.

Chad 40:35

Oh my gosh, so good. Lance is trying to get me into Samurai Champloo.

Javier 40:40

Samurai Champloo is a superior anime with a superior soundtrack.

Chad 40:44

I mean it's Cowboy Bebop's creators. Right, but he's got a new show.

Chad 40:48

It like shampoo, but with an L in there shampoo shampoo conditioner no, it's conditioner conditioner. I don't know that was bad they uh.

Javier 40:57

Speaking of anime, there's a new one by the creator Shinichiro Wananabe. Um, it's coming out like in February on Adult Swim, but it's kind of supposed to be like. There are shows about pharmaceutical pharmaceutical companies, this year by mike, one by mike judge which looks very, very entertaining and very good, and then the other one from the guy who created cowboy bebop. Both look good, have to do with it. One gives you a pill where all your diseases are cured but you only live three years, and the other one is like a judge. It's pretty much hank hill as like the guy.

Chad 41:30

So it's pretty interesting. Wait, Mike Judge is making an anime. No, no, he's making a cartoon. Another cartoon. Oh, it's like what?

Javier 41:37

He's making another cartoon, but the villain looks like Hank Hill, talks like Hank Hill.

Chad 41:41

Oh shit.

Chad 41:43

That's weird, that's awesome. It's like a fever dream of Bobby.

Chad 41:47

All right. So we've got two more wines. We've done two, now we've got two more. These are going to be a little bit darker. We've got the one that you brought last time from Alban Vineyard, alban Vineyards, alban Vineyards, and it's a Syrah. And then we've got the Las Haras with Eric Wareheim. Yeah, do the. Pinot you want to do the Pinot All right, what's a Syrah?

Prison Mikey 42:10

It's just the grape, but really the most famous kind of area that started growing it was in France.

Prison Mikey 42:18

It was just at the top of the Rhone River, where the Rhone Valley is kind of carved out of, so it goes like north to south and this grape was just ended up being the grape that they were like. It's powerful, it grows really well here. They've got like really gnarly like steep hills that just drop off, so like if you're working the vineyard everything is like manual harvest and it's just a grape that is excited a lot.

Chad 42:45

You roll a step, you die, yeah.

Prison Mikey 42:47

Okay, it's a grape that basically got Psalmssalms to be like holy shit, this is insane. I've got to show people this. But, um, it does get a little little gamey, a little funky.

Chad 42:59

All right, I I poured a lot of that, so there's not very much left anybody wants uh, I did bad, poor, bad, poor man and someone take the rest of the.

Prison Mikey 43:08

This is the Los Harris Pinot, so this is.

Chad 43:14

Which you've had. Los Harris, I think you got me the can. Okay, that's what it was, los.

Chad 43:19

Harris, natural wines right, they're all in the whole natural thing right, yes.

Javier 43:28

Teresa's Saying something about Yellowware of the Christmas tree donuts by Little Debbie. They have Christmas tree donuts. Somebody said that Javier needs to eat one in one bite. Oh I'm well. Yeah, it is, but I'm no one's pay pig.

Chad 43:46

I'm no one's pay pig. One bite, one bite. You know the rules one bite, no, no, no, we're gonna Hang on.

Chad 43:52

Wait, which one of these Wines pairs better With something sweet Like a cake?

Tim/Lance 43:57

That's a good question, probably the this one, the previous.

Chad 44:00

Oh, yeah, yeah, sweet with sweet.

Prison Mikey 44:02

Really yeah, okay.

Chad 44:04

You're gonna leave yours In the wrapper.

Prison Mikey 44:06

Actually, that was another thing I took mine.

Chad 44:08

You got one bite. So we got to put this whole thing in our mouth, right? Wait, what One bite. He's not even going to chew.

Javier 44:15

Hey, he never does. I'm not a duck.

Chad 44:16

He just puts it down, his gullet.

Chad 44:18

All right, all right, cheers, cheers, buddy.

Chad 44:24

Whoa, he made that look so easy. Damn Javier. What'd you do? Just roll your tongue out, throw it back there. The throat goat, Throat goat for sure. Damn Tim's over here still trying to get out of his beard and you're like it's in the stomach already.

Javier 44:45

They don't call me the Cincinnati Clemson for nothing. I'm just kidding. I don't know. I don't know where that came from.

Prison Mikey 44:50

You're like that guy that takes the Popeye's biscuit and just oh.

Javier 44:56

Just choking and dying. Oh my God. Yeah, those are a staple. It's not really Christmas unless you have one of these.

Chad 45:05

I did it much better than I did.

Javier 45:07

I mean, I got a bigger mouth. We were all present. Do you need a lozenge?

Prison Mikey 45:14

It's sticky right, I feel the like it just coats the throat. Yeah, it's like dry.

Javier 45:19

The outside's really dry, unless you get in and you tear it up with your tongue and then it's like almost paper cuts going down, like where you got that inside of your mouth.

Prison Mikey 45:28

Yes, Absolutely.

Chad 45:30

I show Mikey what you were working with. He probably didn't understand.

Javier 45:33

I've retired from showing my tongue. No, you haven't. I've retired, come on.

Chad 45:37

Just Mikey away from the camera. Away from the camera.

Christmas music 45:44

It's so big.

Sar-ish 45:48

That's how you got it in Now you understand, I let it go and then it in Now you understand.

Chad 45:52

I let it go and then it just rolls it back up.

Javier 45:55

It's like those old cartoons where they have the window shade and it goes.

Christmas music 45:59

Yeah, like yeah, yeah, yeah, oh man.

Chad 46:03

Yeah, this does not pair well with the sweet. No, I wouldn't assume. Yeah, so what do you think about this one, mikey? This is the Pinot Noir from Las Haras.

Natural Wine Fermentation and Yeast Comparison

Prison Mikey 46:11

I mean this is great. It's really like you can tell all the sugar's gone. There's not really like any sugar left. It smells like a Pinot Noir, which is great. You want like familiarity when you're working with a grape that's really popular. It's like you want it to smell, taste like Pinot Noir. But this definitely smells like a brighter, leaner Pinot Noir which, coming from a riper kind of area like California, it's good to know.

Chad 46:41

Where's Pinot usually from?

Prison Mikey 46:42

Well, if you do it in Burgundy, it's going to be colder in some areas. Might have a little bit like more tart fruit, tart, cherry. This one kind of smells tart too, but it's. It's like, if you really get into it there's, there's like a black cherry note. That's like like really ripe and that's the evidence. Like it's like we're not. We're not in burgundy, right breaking news.

Chad 47:04

I believe we're about to have a gang war and oh yeah, in the in our growing up gang signs in the audience.

Chad 47:11

In the audience here.

Chad 47:14

We've got some.

Javier 47:15

We've got some rival. Too soon, too soon.

Chad 47:20

He's got a point. It was not.

Chad 47:23

So this is. I think these are natural wines. I think Los Jarros are natural wines because it's got a little bit of funk to it, right Like in the smell, yeah.

Chad 47:34

It's not like I. Normally I get a little burn tingle in the back of my throat. But yeah, this isn't it. So the whole thing with natural, natural wines versus other commercial wineries correct me if I'm wrong. They put something in there to kill the yeast off, right? Most wines do. Most wines do yeah like sulfur or something.

Prison Mikey 47:49

Um, if you, yeah, if you inoculate with, uh, you actually do it with other yeasts. So if you have, like, a commercial yeast you like take over, because it's almost like a, an army in a way. Like if the native yeasts start out small when you first go to the winery, they can get bigger as as it goes on, if you just leave it alone. But then if you put the commercial yeast in early, then you're overloading it and they're like we're going to kill off whatever else is in there because we're going to take all the food.

Chad 48:19

Versus their natural wines using natural yeast or they're not using sulfates or whatever.

Prison Mikey 48:26

It's kind of like if you leave wine alone, it will ferment. You have that little whitish. Look to the grape skins. It's like there's already something growing on the outside. That's like I want those sugars, I want all that goodness in there, and then once you press, it'll get in there.

Chad 48:43

It's kind of like with beer. I mean, you could naturally ferment beer if you wanted to.

Chad 48:47

No, you just leave it open the same thing as making sourdough bread beer, if you wanted to. The same thing as making sourdough bread. It's the same thing. There's yeast and bacteria in the air, and just let it do its thing, you can get some funk.

Prison Mikey 48:54

but if you keep everything nice and clean and then if your yeasts are producing desirable flavors because there's a bunch of different yeasts that are around if you find that the dominant one is desirable, then you can just say, hey, we'll leave this alone. If it's not desirable and it's going to produce that barnyard funky he's trying to get that mic up near your face.

Chad 49:19

Oh yeah, because I mean we were messing with.

Chad 49:22

When we were messing with beer, we had some stuff that, uh, we were using some of the uh funkier yeast out there and then we ended up with some like basically like I mean it straight up tasted like malt vinegar, yeah, but then a lot of like the, the funky yeast like bread of my season, some of the bacteria stuff.

Chad 49:36

It eats up more sugar than like a normal commercial, which could be why, like this one's you mentioned, like the sugar's all gone. I'm wondering if that's part of it, right, like it's just kind of eating up everything that's in there. But yeah, I don't know you do.

Prison Mikey 49:49

You do increase the alcohol to like when you do that, but it depends. You know you have to balance everything out. So if you pick at the right time when the available sugars that are in there like at a certain level, you won't. You will only achieve a certain amount of alcohol once the fermentation is done. So like you have to watch everything and they have people testing in the vineyards. I'm sure las harris has a lot of good, good people that are like testing things and making sure they're monitoring, because if you get a funky natural wine it's it smells like poop.

Chad 50:21

You don't want a wine, do you?

Wine Making Processes and Bourbon Favorites

Prison Mikey 50:24

nobody wants a poopy wine or like straight up, stepped in a cow pie and in the barn yard and you're like nice, this is exactly what I want my wine to be.

Javier 50:35

But I'm sure if you go to someone that thinks they know wine, they're like yes, I can taste the sulfur Sometimes some barnyard is fine, though that horse pasture, whatever the hell.

Chad 50:46

you know what I mean.

Prison Mikey 50:47

It adds something to it, but if it's all it is then yeah, it's all it is, then, yeah, it's it's shit, it's shit speaking of some of those wines that are from the roan with syrah and stuff that that one's from california. But the the syrahs that come out of that roan are really cool and some of them are funky. Some of them you have to like wait for them. Once you open them, just take like 30 minutes, just pop the cork off of it and let it, let that blow off. Some of them decant it. You know, like make sure you get all that stuff off, but there's a threshold right. It's like if you open it and it smells really funky and then you decant it and there's nothing happening.

Chad 51:24

It's still wait and it's nothing happening.

Prison Mikey 51:28

Somebody just made a funky wine. Yeah, it's, you found it. Is there made a funky wine? You found it?

Chad 51:31

Is there a way to speed up that process? I mean I've seen people talk about like wine aerators or whatever, and trying to. Yeah, is that a good thing to do?

Chad 51:41

I've used the whole spinny thing before and it actually it worked. It aerated quickly. I'm sure it would.

Prison Mikey 51:47

Yeah, I mean some people say the blender the blender yeah. I've heard some crazy stuff. I think that's too much. What if?

Javier 51:57

we got a carb stone and just put it in there and added oxygen, like we did with our beer?

Chad 52:03

Yeah right.

Javier 52:04

Hey in the group chat. What's his favorite Appalachian in Texas? What's Appalachian?

Prison Mikey 52:09

Appalachian in texas, texas. What's appalachian? Appalachian that's like the, basically like we're in texas, but there's like the texas high plains is, I think, one of my favorite appalachians, but that's like the place that you would be in okay um, yeah, like I think. Well, one of the fun texas high plains wines that I tried was called ready vineyards super simple label just has like a star on it. They're pretty cool. They're making some interesting wines.

Chad 52:35

Texas has got some good wines Because I mean we've got a really diverse I mean across the entire state. It's very diverse whenever it comes to climates and whatnot, because I mean you have everything from dry air desert all the way up to piney woods and everything else right, but they get a lot of stuff I know that came out of like Fredericksburg, the hill country and wine. You want that kind of harsher climate, soil right to develop the skins the tannins all that right.

Chad 53:05

I mean I've had some good stuff that I don't know enough about wine to really know if it's good or not, but I've had some great stuff out. I don't know enough about wine to to really know if it's good or not, but I've had some great stuff out of the just the Hill country in general.

Prison Mikey 53:14

Yeah, so like wines, wine's funny about that, because if it tastes good, that's all the proof that you need.

Prison Mikey 53:21

But, like it's expensive to start a vineyard. It's expensive to. You know, have a winery, like a facility, is like some people. What they end up doing is they buy the. They basically buy the space and they say, hey, I'm gonna schedule my time to come in to this winemaking facility and I've got all these toys at my disposal. But they're not. They don't own them. You know, they come in and they start the press, they get the, the grapes in baskets and they're like all right, I'm here to make my wine and then gtfo which is like that wine.

Chad 53:52

There was a winery in lake worth at one point no there, oh yeah, by uh movie two movie, grill or whatever, there was a winery, I don't know where, you know what in tovino. Okay, are you saying that because you like the place or you know you know I used to go there all the freaking like I'm in okay I thought that was the worst one of all time.

Chad 54:10

That's why I asked and I love you no, like they had some good stuff, but it wasn't like high quality stuff yeah, I just like it was doable, but some of it was vinegar, though, like some of it was just straight up vinegar well, I mean some people like that, I guess do they, though? Do people like wine vinegar, vinegar's made up, but like that you're not cooking with? Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chad 54:36

Drink wine vinegar.

Javier 54:37

No, probably not. Teresa says vineyards are different than wineries.

Chad 54:41

Yes, yeah, I don't understand what the Vineyards are where they grow the grapes, correct?

Chad 54:54

Vineyards or wineries are where they process and create all the wine, so I could just get grapes from wherever and make wine and call it a winery. It's kind of like tx distillery, like. That's. What they did for the first handful of years is like whiskey takes so much time to be able to like age in barrels, and so what they did was they would take whiskey from all over the place, blend it and then sell it as their own because they were able to blend it. Are they buying from?

Chad 55:05

uh one of the like mg what are they buying from them?

Prison Mikey 55:10

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know the answer to that. Yeah, I don't either, but you?

Chad 55:13

know it took them, you know, five, seven years, whatever, until they started making like the bourbon and all the other stuff, because you've got to make some kind of profit before you're able to actually create what you're spending time doing. It can get now oh yeah, for sure have you been there. Yes, the thing is massive grains all cooking down and that still that goes like two stories tall.

Chad 55:34

Yeah, it's a beautiful facility I feel like, uh like, if you're, if we jump on like the whiskey side of stuff. Um so fray ranch, I don't know if you ever had any of their stuff I haven't yet, so there's it's all far like literally. They, they grow the grain, they process it there, they you know it there and they bottle it there. It's all done in one spot. I feel like that's the equivalent of a vineyard right. They do everything, they've got all the stuff. They do it all right there, right.

Prison Mikey 56:00

Yeah, that's a really good process to get through. I mean it's hard work, but obviously they sound like they're getting a good follow.

Chad 56:09

It's going to be expensive, Like like to do, to do everything that that would have to be.

Prison Mikey 56:14

How would you compare that to the other bourbons that you've tried?

Chad 56:17

Um it's, it's honestly not my favorite. I mean, I tend to be more of a uh it's a good sell, tim.

Chad 56:23

it's good it's. It's not my favorite.

Chad 56:27

It is good. I bought it because I wanted to try this whole farm to basically farm to bottle mindset, and it's good for what it is. But I prefer, like I like, a lot of stuff out of wild turkey Russell I'm big into, I like Russell Reserve and wild turkey rare beet are probably my two favorites right now. A little bit sweeter, a little bit higher proof, a little bit hotter I tend to go for a higher proof.

Chad 56:56

Uh, bourbon, um the jack daniels, uh, single barrel, uh barrel strength. That's probably one of my other favorites. Uh, it just has like a I don't know.

Chad 57:05

So saturday we all went to um this uh, fort worth abroad, had this big event right, and I was able to like do the MC thing, but it was all to raise money towards. Sorry, there's a point to this.

Chad 57:17

I got you no, no, no, you're good, yeah, yeah.

Chad 57:20

So Tim and Javier came Sarish, my parents came. It was awesome, it was like a music event, but they had, like this, what do you call it? A silent auction.

Chad 57:32

Silent auction.

Chad 57:33

yeah, In order to raise some money for the scholarship so these kids can go and travel abroad.

Javier 57:39

Chad stole.

Chad 57:40

How much did your ass make?

Javier 57:41

Chad stole, from someone.

Chad 57:42

How much did your ass?

Chad 57:43

make. I know you were auctioning that off.

Chad 57:46

I auctioned that.

Chad 57:46

Sweet piece of ass, sweet virgin ass.

Chad 57:49

I actually won two things in the silent auction. I did, but one of them I got the yellowstone bourbon you're not supposed to.

Chad 57:56

You're not supposed to guess the price it's, you're supposed to bid the highest not guess the price.

Tim/Lance 58:02

What was that on?

Chad 58:03

the office. Yeah, that's right.

Chad 58:05

So I got a bottle of the yellowstone bourbon, but I'm gonna have to bring that in here so we can try it. I've got a. I've got a bottle of Yellowstone, do you? Yeah, how is it? It's good.

Chad 58:12

I've got a bottle of Yellowstone, I think it was a. I want to say that one was a Goody's Liquor store pick. Okay, it's good. Okay, it has a lot more oak, I think, flavor.

Chad 58:26

They had Blanton's up for sale or up for bid auction, whatever, it was a little too rich for my blood.

Chad 58:31

Blanton's is good too. I mean, I've tasted Blanton's.

Prison Mikey 58:36

Blanton's is good Before.

Chad 58:38

COVID, I was shooting Blanton's into your veins. Jesus dude, that wasn't Blanton's.

Chad 58:41

I ain't the one to tell you you were a drug addict. Pre-covid you could get that stuff. It was allocated, but it wasn't allocated.

Prison Mikey 58:55

No, it was easy to get.

Chad 58:56

Blanton's was easy, yeah.

Prison Mikey 58:58

Because that was when I was working at Grace. Oh Lord, it was bad.

Chad 59:04

I don't think I'd be shooting Blanton's in your veins I would if I worked at Grace.

Prison Mikey 59:10

It'd be for special occasions At this point, it's for special occasions.

Chad 59:13

Now, yeah, oh my God, what is it? Buffalo Trace, just regular Buffalo Trace. Bourbon is getting hard to get.

Chad 59:22

Yeah, it is Anything from that. Distillery is getting more and more difficult and it's funny.

Chad 59:25

People buy Buffalo Trace. They're like oh trace. They're like, oh man, I got a bottle buffalo trace and he spent like 50 or 60 bucks on it. I'm like man, I ain't spending no more than 30 if I can find it for 30 bucks and cool if it's above that, I'm not really it's. I don't think it's worth it. It's not worth. It's not worth that. It's not worth the hype.

Javier 59:40

I gotta get back on the turkey it's good dude, I just drink jim bean wild turkey wild turkey 101.

Chad 59:46

Wild turkey 101 is great um is this a class? You're taking. Yeah, it's a great whiskey. I think it's cheap for the most part. There is an Old Fitzgerald, I think is one that's pretty cheap. And then I like Old Granddad, old Granddad.

Chad 1:00:07

You act like an Old Granddad too, so that actually makes sense.

Prison Mikey 1:00:11

Old.

Chad 1:00:11

Granddad's pretty good too I've got are a sommelier and you've worked some amazing places like some high-end restaurants and bars and things like that. So let me ask you so, in in your career thus far, because you're young, you're a young guy that has these, these capabilities, these powers that most people don't have. You know, have you ever had someone just shit all over you or what is the weirdest situation you've?

Unexpected Bouncer and Restaurant Stories

Chad 1:00:38

had that's highly personal no, listen, I'm asking like some old asshole mikey, sexually, have you ever had someone? Shit all over you.

Javier 1:00:47

what's that called the cleveland steamer? Cleveland steamer? No, have you ever had an issue where someone's like you're this shit all over you. What's that called Cleveland Seamer?

Chad 1:00:52

Cleveland Seamer. No, have you ever had an issue where someone's like you're young, you don't know what you're talking about? You're like bitch, I know everything about water.

Chad 1:00:57

Let me ask you are you in water sports or what? No, I?

Prison Mikey 1:01:04

that's. Is that not from Cleveland too? It might be. It might be. This is a Cleveland shower.

Chad 1:01:12

Man Cleveland's fucked. I think yeah.

Prison Mikey 1:01:14

They got nothing else to do, it's got to come up with weird shit. Well, okay, so story time, I guess. No, I haven't. I haven't stood up to somebody that's been like you're a fucking piece of shit and like who cares about wine? Right, I would probably respond to that and be like let's get shots, then you know like we pour you some so you're a salesman at heart, okay people, but there was some some really interesting things.

Prison Mikey 1:01:43

well, the buoy house thing was really funny. After they opened, um, we had some really good guests come in and some really bad guests and zero security, oh no. So, the security guy. I don't know if he still works there, but he is a very good looking, very slim Mexican man.

Tim/Lance 1:02:05

Yeah.

Prison Mikey 1:02:06

And he's gorgeous Like I don't know how else to say it.

Prison Mikey 1:02:16

Not a bouncer, a pretty, say it, not a bouncer, a pretty boy, not about the last person you would think to be a bouncer. Okay, this guy comes in. He's getting wasted, and we see him. He seems to be just leaning on the bar. Before bowie house got bar stools up on the bar because there's only I mean, there's limited space, um, and there's a big glass mirror in the center, so you're not going to put bar stools in front of there, so there's only eight seats, um. But before that this guy was like leaning up on the bar. He's in like a suit jacket, so I'm like okay, like this guy's, he's getting a little toasty. We're getting close to the end of the night. Okay, let him. Let him have his drink. Philippe armenta comes in his wife and this guy starts talking.

Javier 1:02:55

Some noise and does he know that? It's him though?

Prison Mikey 1:03:00

no, I don't think. I don't think he knew, because he was just like asking philippe's wife allegedly if she was a nasty woman oh no he was like okay, like let's just calm down, I'll let this go, Just let me buy you a drink. And the guy was like fuck you out of the blue After a generous nice offer Right he's being nice Calm. And then I think the wife was like no, don't buy him a fucking drink.

Prison Mikey 1:03:31

And the guy, just like shoves, the dude like shoves, philippe armenta shoves his wife and I was like oh my god then the managers that are coming in the mix are getting shoved too, and then this this little cute, the cute mexican, he's from the front, stop it. He's like no, he's like getting in the mix. And he's like no, he's getting in the mix and he's getting shoved. And then I go in the mix too and I'm like what is going on? I don't want anyone to start swinging Right, and so I get in front of the guy just arms wide open.

Prison Mikey 1:04:03

Creed's in this bitch and then I was like, dude, it's not worth it, let's just walk this way to the front, and now we're going to a different band.

Chad 1:04:10

Walk this way.

Prison Mikey 1:04:12

And then he like is walking with me, and I'm like, okay, I think this is over. And he's getting escorted by this cute little Mexican guy around one of the pillars and I'm like, is everyone okay? And I turn around and the guy's coming back.

Chad 1:04:27

And.

Prison Mikey 1:04:27

I'm like no, no, no, no. And so he was like ready to swing. He was like don't get in my way, boy. And I'm like, all right, I'm going to still get in your way, we're still going to walk towards the front door and I was just waiting to get hit in the face because I'm just standing there like this, Like this dude could just clock me and maybe no, he didn't.

Chad 1:04:43

You didn't have any like you've become this very strong man.

Jarrod 1:04:47

Yeah.

Chad 1:04:52

Oh yeah, very strong man. Yeah, oh yeah.

Prison Mikey 1:04:53

So you didn't think that I'm gonna knock this motherfucker out here in a second, like none of that came to you. No, I was like maybe I need a couple days off this was like two and a half weeks before we, like after we opened, yeah, and we were just getting crushed and I was like I need some days off. Yeah, I was like sure just do like, just do one good one. I was even ready to flop, just to be like we can pay vacation.

Prison Mikey 1:05:15

And then they got a security guy and all of that went away.

Chad 1:05:18

Like a real security guy.

Prison Mikey 1:05:20

Yeah, okay, he had a little gun on his side to scare anybody. He was just kind of hanging out and of course nothing happened. And they were like what are we paying this dude for? I'm like when he's here, right, nothing happens stop it when he's at one event.

Chad 1:05:35

You know it took that one time god.

Javier 1:05:38

I mean, if you would have taken that punch, though, felipe would have owed you a couple dinners. Oh yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Prison Mikey 1:05:45

he's always so nice when he came in and it just so generous. But like at the same time I was like I don't want anyone to like approach you now because I'm scared yeah, so I was like let me get your drinks so sarish and I went to f1 smokehouse for the first time.

Chad 1:06:02

Uh, we, we went. Have you been to f1 smokehouse?

Javier 1:06:04

yes, oh, shout out to ethan, he just got engaged. Oh yeah, that was like today, shout out to ethan uh, great guy.

Chad 1:06:10

So went to f1 smokehouse and did not realize so. Philippe's one of those guys right for f1 smokehouse, and then the other guy which I forget his name, but the guy from the house or with the big glass, so I didn't know this right like I just want to check out f1 smokehouse if I want to try out for a while.

Chad 1:06:28

Sarish knew, of course, and so we're sitting there with my parents and talking and eating and she's telling us about the guys and how they have all these different restaurants. Ethan came up and he was telling us about all the restaurants and stuff and then at one point we turn around and both of them are sitting at the bar at F1 Smokehouse. We're like the only ones in there because it's still pretty early for brunch and we're talking about them and they're probably like these motherfuckers don't even know we're sitting right here at the bar. Both of them are right there. But yeah, definitely I would check out F1 Smokehouse if you haven't. It's amazing.

Javier 1:06:57

It's like a John Bonnell whenever we're at Bonnell's and he just came up to me and Tammy, he's like you guys enjoying your food, Like it?

Chad 1:07:07

It's good, Like I only knew who he was.

Javier 1:07:09

But you know, because you know it's Jon Bonnell, jon.

Chad 1:07:11

Bonnell is probably one I feel like one of the nicest chefs in the DFW area. Agreed Just the amount of stuff that he wants to do for people. I mean, during the whole COVID thing he was putting out those family you know dinners for people who can't get groceries or whatever. I'm going to do a cheap dinner for four or whatever. And here you go. He had people lined up around the building which kept his staff somewhat employed.

Tim/Lance 1:07:37

He's just a good overall dude he did family meals.

Javier 1:07:39

He still does them right.

Chad 1:07:40

Yeah he still does family meals.

Chad 1:07:45

I like someone that can put out some good gourmet food and has a very nice upscale restaurant but then also has some of the best pizza and wings that you can get in the city, in the state.

Christmas music 1:07:52

You know what I mean.

Chad 1:07:53

Like Buffalo bros come on.

Chad 1:07:55

And then John's grill. Have you ever been to John's?

Chad 1:07:56

I haven't been to John's grill yet.

Chad 1:07:57

Fuck it's so good so he can do this upscale shit.

Chad 1:08:00

He could do this medium like still you know like, still have Buffalo Bros and he's killed in all of them. I love it. I need to go to John's. So the problem Jesse had never had Buffalo Bros, so I just did Uber Eats and had him, had it delivered to the house and they got a slice of pepperoni pizza and some wings. They have that combo or whatever. She loved the wings. She's not a fan of the pepperoni pizza because she doesn't really like the pepperoni cup. Pepperonis, yeah, the ones that hold the grease in, so I'm a fan of the cup pepperoni.

Chad 1:08:36

Me too. That's my preference, you know. But whatever it's not for everybody.

Chad 1:08:40

Here's a little Buffalo Bros hack for you that Sarish put me on. On Thursday nights they had an enchilada pizza and it is out of this fucking world. It is an enchilada pizza. And it is out of this fucking world. It is an enchilada pizza. It's like a green chili chicken type enchilada situation. And then you get a cup of like instead of ranch, you get it like extra green sauce on the side and you just like dip your pizza in the green sauce Dude, one of the best pizzas I've ever had. And we didn't realize it was a Thursday thing. And so we went back a couple times we're like, oh, we don't have it tonight. And then we finally realized it's a Thursday thing. But well worth it. You've got to check it out.

Chad 1:09:15

Enchilada pizza. Yeah, All right. Thursday nights go to Buffalo Bros. Yes, sir, Enchilada pizza. All right, we've got to finish this one because we've got one more. The audience won't hear this, but I'm going to play a little bit of one of our other songs.

Wine Tasting and Restaurant Stories

Christmas song 1:09:31

Coming down the chimney reeking like a bar. Drank the eggnog, spiked the rum. Now he's passed out in the car. Rudolph's in the alley with a blunt between his hooves Slay on he elves on strike. Nobody's making moves. Mrs Claus on OnlyFans cashing in on picks, Got that red velvet robe? Yeah, she knows all the tricks. Frosty's in a snowbank face down in the street, Cause you know that cold powder ain't the kind you wanna eat. Deck the halls with bad decisions, Light it up with failed ambitions, Tinsel flames and shattered dreams. Christmas ain't as calm as it seems. One more gift I can't afford Credit score is a total war. Santa, save me from this mess, or shove that coal where the sun don't rest.

Chad 1:10:29

All right, yeah, that's a little sneak peek there.

Javier 1:10:31

So I was telling Tim Seth MacFarlane's going to get a hold of this. Yeah, that's what's going to happen, and he's going to just sing. He's going to say can I buy this from y'all and just have it in the chamber for next Christmas?

Chad 1:10:42

I feel like this is our get rich quick scheme. I don't know, it could be.

Javier 1:10:47

It could be. It's got to be a million dollars and guest spots on Family Guy.

Chad 1:10:51

So I want to ask have you all looked up your poop song?

Javier 1:10:55

Poop song no.

Chad 1:10:56

Excuse me, your poop song? No, no, nobody.

Chad 1:10:59

Okay, does anyone know what Tim's talking about?

Chad 1:11:01

Y'all talk for a second I'm going to bring up. So there's a guy who actually he was a musician, but then he decided he was going to start making these songs and it's your name and poop, and it's all over, and so he's made money off of this. It's the most ridiculous thing. So I'm going to find that and pull it up. I'm going to pull up our poop songs and we'll rate them.

Prison Mikey 1:11:26

The other preview, though, still sounded like the lead singer from Panic at the Discs in certain parts when the vibrato is. The other preview, though, still sounded like the lead singer from Panic at the Disco In certain parts when the vibrato is about to hit.

Chad 1:11:36

Dude the thing about that song is it's not just the music and the lyrics, it's like the talking in between, you know what I mean it's like the cops come in and he's like it was self-defense. It's so bizarre that AI came up with not only the song part but the conversation that comes in between the verse and the chorus. Whatever, it's crazy.

Chad 1:11:58

I got Chad's poop song pulled up.

Chad 1:12:00

Great, let's start with me. That sounds great, chad poop.

Tim/Lance 1:12:08

Chad poop Chad Chad Chad. Sounds punk Poop. Chad poop Chad Chad Chad.

Jarrod 1:12:14

Poop, poop, poop, poop, poop. Chad, chad, chad, poop, poop, poop.

Tim/Lance 1:12:23

So it's one minute.

Chad 1:12:24

Listen, are they all? The same Is the next one.

Chad 1:12:26

Tim Hang on. No, no, it's different, tim. See this man. He's put some time into it.

Chad 1:12:35

Essentially, this guy's made a business off of what the people do with key chains at the gas station.

Chad 1:12:40

So I've got Tim, I can do Tim and Timothy.

Chad 1:12:44

Oh wow, I can do one for Robert too. Okay, what about Chadwick? It's not my name, tim.

Javier 1:12:50

Poops.

Prison Mikey 1:12:56

It's a variation Emotional yeah.

Chad 1:13:00

Do you cry when you poop my dude?

Javier 1:13:06

Pony Bear could never Good lord Lord Huron get out of the way, there's a new man in town.

Tim/Lance 1:13:18

That's so emotional.

Jarrod 1:13:19

I know.

Javier 1:13:21

Like his dog just got ran over Nice.

Chad 1:13:42

The bass that sounds like one of those like old cartoons 55 you remember, like the old yeah cartoons back in the day. That's what it sounded like to me.

Javier 1:13:46

So this dude- has straight up just made like a. Okay, now do me see if my name pops up. It does, does, actually Does it really so.

Chad 1:13:50

Do you want Javier or do you want Javi? Javier? Oh, wow, oh my God.

Prison Mikey 1:13:57

Javier Javier poop poop, poop. Javier, javier, poop, poop, poop, kind of stripped down, javier.

Javier 1:14:06

Javier. Poop, poop, poop. This sounds like explosions in the sky with the soundtrack of Friday Night Lights.

Chad 1:14:13

Javi, Javi, poop, poop.

Prison Mikey 1:14:17

Javi poop, he's like.

Chad 1:14:21

Javi, javi, javi poop, poop, poop. Okay, $30 says that they don't have a serious poop, good Lord.

Javier 1:14:30

It's like, literally it sounds like he's over the bowl and he's pooping and he's just with one hand.

Chad 1:14:36

I'll see if I can find it. $30 says they don't have a Sarish Poops. Maybe Sarish doesn't poop. I don't really know. To be honest with, you.

Javier 1:14:43

Hey.

Prison Mikey 1:14:43

Kim Jong-un doesn't poop. It's not possible. Everybody poops, my dude Nobody.

Javier 1:14:50

Everybody poops, everybody poops, everybody poop poop, poop, poop, poop.

Chad 1:14:53

All right, so what do we think about the Syrah?

Prison Mikey 1:14:55

I haven't had it yet Cheers, I haven't either. I did because I was so excited about it. Oh it smells so good.

Chad 1:15:02

They do not have a Serish poop, they have the Chris poop song.

Chad 1:15:06

Sorry, babe, you don't exist. And and then they have the.

Chad 1:15:07

Harish Poop Song.

Chad 1:15:09

What.

Chad 1:15:10

Harish.

Chad 1:15:11

That's close enough. Okay, that's a lot of the same letters.

Tim/Lance 1:15:16

Harish, harish Poop poop Harish, harish. Harish Poop, poop, poop, poop, poop.

Chad 1:15:25

That's about as close as we're going to get, I think.

Chad 1:15:28

I'm actually upset about this. I'm going to write him a strongly worded letter. You missed the whole person. I don't think they'll have a Jordan spelled the way Jordan spells her name.

Tim/Lance 1:15:41

They do have a Lance and they have a Jared.

Chad 1:15:43

I've looked them all up.

Chad 1:15:45

So whenever I'm texting Jordan and I'm on my way back from work or something I'm always texting through Apple CarPlay or whatever I have to say text Jordan because and then or it'll say the same back to me. You've got a text from Jordan and if I don't say it, then I don't know who it's going to text.

Christmas music 1:15:59

I probably have other Jordans?

Chad 1:16:01

I think so Actually. I don't know I'm getting strong barbecue odors. Yes, Odors.

Prison Mikey 1:16:14

This is a barbecue wine, odors. It's the.

Chad 1:16:15

I mean tell me, this doesn't smell like barbecue.

Prison Mikey 1:16:17

Syrah is smoky.

Chad 1:16:18

Yeah, that's what the Psalm people say, yeah, I can get the smokiness from it. Oh, it smells so good. That's barbecue. It's straight up barbecue.

Prison Mikey 1:16:25

Yeah, syrah, they say, is peppery like black pepper pepper.

Chad 1:16:28

I bet this would pair well with a brisket.

Javier 1:16:30

Yes, Mikey, what are you and the wife? What are y'all like doing Like on your days off? We?

Chad 1:16:38

can't ask that on this show. It's getting weird.

Chad 1:16:43

He's had some wine.

Javier 1:16:44

We got a foreplay song in the album.

Prison Mikey 1:16:49

I think a lot of times we're going to restaurants, like local places you know, the usual haunts of, I mean including the usual they just had their anniversary. We like to hit up the Holly okay, oh, holly's great Boca is a new favorite where is that?

Javier 1:17:10

for sure, that's the new. Oh, no, we went, we went yeah we went over there before they were doing BYOB.

Prison Mikey 1:17:18

Okay, stop talking.

Chad 1:17:19

Where is this? What is this?

Prison Mikey 1:17:20

Boca is off of South Main but it's in an alleyway close to.

Javier 1:17:27

The yogurt place or the.

Slap Bets and Candid Conversations

Prison Mikey 1:17:29

The pie place Emporium.

Javier 1:17:30

Pies.

Chad 1:17:31

Emporium Pies. It's a wine joint.

Javier 1:17:33

No, it's a Italian restaurant oh okay, it's like you have to go in, take a left and it's right there. There's a little bar out there which have they, since I think we went like opening yeah, weekend they're building everything up now which, and now they're.

Prison Mikey 1:17:47

They've got a small wine list wines by the glass. It's good.

Chad 1:17:52

Is that how Mom's Spaghetti is where it was in the alley? Yeah In the alleyway.

Javier 1:17:57

Yeah, in Detroit, dude their appetizers are very delicious.

Jarrod 1:18:01

Mom's Spaghetti Boca no Boca, Not Mom's Spaghetti Dude you haven't lived until you've had a spaghetti sandwich from Mom's Spaghetti.

Chad 1:18:10

Anytime I hear Boca, I think what is it? Boca de Bebo, boca Raton, boca de Bebo, yeah Whatever.

Prison Mikey 1:18:16

Or the chef's tables in the kitchen.

Chad 1:18:17

Yeah, I've had wine.

Prison Mikey 1:18:18

Oh, yeah, you know I'm drunk A little Chianti.

Chad 1:18:23

I don't have to go very far, just going to wander my way back into the house. Yeah, that's good.

Javier 1:18:28

So have you stayed at Bowie House? Have you like stayed at one of the rooms?

Prison Mikey 1:18:31

Yeah, one of the like $500 a night.

Javier 1:18:33

Rooms, six, six.

Prison Mikey 1:18:35

Fuck, yeah, yeah, dude.

Javier 1:18:36

That place is expensive. But we were like, ooh, let's, because it's like right where Ginger man was right.

Chad 1:18:46

Yeah, yeah we.

Javier 1:18:46

They should have built Ginger man around or they should have put Ginger man around Ginger man.

Chad 1:18:51

I miss Ginger man. That's not how businesses work, though, my dude.

Prison Mikey 1:18:56

Not only did they flatten it, the parking garage is actually down below.

Chad 1:19:02

I've got a video somewhere of Chase throwing up at a no you getting the shit slapped out of you by Jesus.

Javier 1:19:08

Oh yeah, that was a slap bet night.

Chad 1:19:10

Remember slap bets, we yeah, oh slap bets yeah.

Javier 1:19:12

We used to do slap bets.

Chad 1:19:13

Mike, are you aware of what a slap bet is?

Prison Mikey 1:19:17

Not, I don't remember.

Chad 1:19:18

No, ok, so back before your time, we had something called a slap bet where you would you were so confident about something that you would say I slap bet, like I'm confident in this one thing, right, something that you would say I slap bet, like I'm confident in this one thing, right, it was a gentleman's agreement. It was basically a gentleman's agreement, and if you lost, whoever- lost there's always one loser right because you're, but it's a bet, right.

Chad 1:19:38

So the loser has to get slapped by the other person and it's got to be kind of like this agreed upon. It's not like this surprise slap in the middle of nowhere.

Chad 1:19:46

I don't think it was ever no, but it was like at your choosing. You could be like okay, tonight I'm going to slap you.

Chad 1:19:53

I've had a rough day and your face is about to feel this shit On the pod.

Javier 1:19:57

we actually had a slap bet and the slap we did live.

Chad 1:20:01

Yeah, we did.

Chad 1:20:03

You slapped me. Yeah, this was almost. That was four and a half years ago. You're right, it was early. It was early Funky Panther days. We're about to be five years old.

Javier 1:20:11

Five years old. Are we really? Is that cancer tongue? Is that cancer tongue coming out? That's four glasses of wine and a shot of whiskey Cancer tongue Five years old my name's.

Jarrod 1:20:20

Sylvester the Cat, and this is how I talk.

Chad 1:20:23

I turned to Sylvester Stallone Cat. I don't February January.

Chad 1:20:31

January, january 21st. We're halfway to the Jimmy. Jones, jerry Jones, time asker. I think, they're 10 years. Yeah, I think they're about 10 years in.

Chad 1:20:40

But that's how time works though.

Chad 1:20:42

The closer we get the further they get away.

Javier 1:20:44

Anyway, slap Bets we always recorded them. They were always on camera. The craziest one, our buddy, like slapped the shit out of mike the bike he had to have people like behind him to catch him.

Christmas music 1:20:54

Yeah, they did it was.

Javier 1:20:55

I got video. I had to like cut like the part where he got slapped, because there was like maybe five minutes of talking and like 10 seconds of slapping and then he's and he's got such a strong jaw too he does, mike the bike does. He's got like a jack nicholson Joker jaw.

Chad 1:21:10

Yeah, he's got a powerful jaw and he's man, he's got a powerful jaw all the time yeah.

Prison Mikey 1:21:14

He just laughs as you slap him hard.

Chad 1:21:16

No, no, no, no, it nearly destroyed him.

Chad 1:21:18

He's still a little baby, but like that jaw will slap back.

Javier 1:21:22

It's like a quagmire jaw almost.

Chad 1:21:32

It is exactly like a quagmire jaw, all just not as not as not a giggity, giggity for sure, unless you get him really drunk, all right. So other than barbecue, what else would we?

Chad 1:21:35

eat with this delicious one. This is really fucking.

Prison Mikey 1:21:37

It's really good um, you could go like super crazy braised meat dish like I mean bouffe bourguignon bottle of wine going into braised beef, yeah, mashed potatoes. I mean it's it's winter time, it's like time to have heavy stuff, so it's like this I would eat this.

Chad 1:21:57

I would drink this with a shepherd's pie. I would. I would also eat this with the show.

Javier 1:22:01

I'm sorry on the group chat. The real question is if he knows what gay chicken is everyone knows what gay chicken is gay chicken.

Tim/Lance 1:22:07

We used to play gay chicken all the time.

Prison Mikey 1:22:08

We still play gay chicken keys while you act like you're gonna key when you're about the keys, not either.

Javier 1:22:13

I'm pretty sure that me and mikey played the night before thanksgiving just a little bit next thing you know you're moving together and like no one's claimed chicken, yet that's right oh christ, you're getting married and you still haven't called it yet look, there are times where tammy like thinks one day I'm just gonna be like hey, I'm gay, I'm sorry we, we all think that, though right like can I be real?

Chad 1:22:37

I think that we all think I don't think it's ever gonna be an I'm gay.

Chad 1:22:39

I'm sorry, I think. I think it's just gonna be like hey, um look, I find men attractive.

Javier 1:22:43

I think there are handsome men out there, we're well aware cute mexican security man.

Chad 1:22:48

I know I wish that was my first. Thought is like do you have the guy's name? Because Javier might want to like figure out if he's got a new friend there was a guy I met that went to the shop and like shit you not.

Javier 1:22:57

I called Tammy and I was like I just met the most amazing man. I think I'm leaving you, and then she's like oh God, here it is.

Chad 1:23:04

Well, you wonder why Tammy thinks that it's things like that?

Javier 1:23:07

Look man there's handsome men out there and I've always said that if like look, I think I said that about these I said, if sucking dick tastes like this, then I would totally suck dick.

Chad 1:23:17

So you're equating being gay to a Christmas Little Debbie cake.

Javier 1:23:23

Fuck yeah, are you kidding me? I think someone was like hey, for 50 grand would you suck a fuck? Yeah, I'd suck a dick 50 grand. Fuck yeah, 50, 50 grand would you suck a fuck? Yeah, I'd suck a dick. 50 grand.

Chad 1:23:31

fuck yeah, 50 grand is a lot of money 20, let's say 20 bucks fuck you.

Javier 1:23:37

Hey look, this amount is a valuable mouth.

Chad 1:23:39

Hang on, hang on, let's let's take it down a little bit 10 grand.

Chad 1:23:46

Quite, everybody's got really. We're trying to see how far we can go there. I want to see how low we can get.

Javier 1:23:50

No, I think 50 grand is the lowest. Unless they said bungalow seats for.

Chad 1:23:56

ACL. So if someone walked up to you and said 20 grand, right now 20 grand, do I got to swallow?

Christmas music 1:24:06

Is this to completion?

Javier 1:24:08

Is this to completion? Or just got to lick the tip? Well, no. I mean anybody can just slap the nuts a little and give it a little jingle.

Chad 1:24:15

Just hold it for a minute.

Javier 1:24:16

Slap the nuts. You know you're slapping the bag of wine.

Chad 1:24:21

Anybody can just hold it for a minute, listen, we have a guest on the show.

Chad 1:24:24

We're talking about slapping dicks and flicking balls and stuff. This is hilarious. There's always a Everybody's got a prize.

Javier 1:24:31

Look, Mikey knows what he came into. He came into this.

Prison Mikey 1:24:36

On to, on to. I came on to the fun.

Cruise Dreams, Family Life, Wrestling Laughs

Chad 1:24:40

He is the one that put us on Comptown.

Jarrod 1:24:41

You're right, yeah, you're right.

Javier 1:24:44

And we're playing soggy biscuit.

Chad 1:24:46

You always see those pictures and stuff like those memes where it's like 10 grand. Would you slap one of your coworkers? How many Dude? I would do it for like 100 bucks. Man, there's like a bunch of coworkers I could put up on.

Javier 1:24:59

I can't do that because my daddy is my, my, my dad's my boss.

Chad 1:25:04

Oh, poor baby. All right, so we have not had enough crowd participation this episode and we have got a whole fucking audience in this bitch. Let's talk about Christmas for a moment, because we are coming up to the end of the show and the year and the year Coming to an end. Let's start with Jay Jay. What are you most proud of from this year? What are you the most excited for for 2025? I'm proud that I'm still alive. Cheers to that. Hey, cheers to that, cheers to that.

Sar-ish 1:25:33

I'll drink to that. I am most excited for all of the adventures next year.

Chad 1:25:40

Ooh yeah, Miss Carnival Queen over here, Like she's going to get us all on the cruise ship.

Tim/Lance 1:25:45

I think we're going all threes in.

Chad 1:25:47

It's about time Javier and I went on a cruise 12, 11 years ago. We're like we've got to get a friend group and we've always had issues getting people on a cruise, and I think that you are going to make this happen.

Chad 1:26:01

I am. I want to plug our friend here for a second. If you need a cruise, you contact us. We will put you in touch with her and she'll set you up with the cruise of your dreams. We get commission. We don't get commission, but we're going to get her commission. We're going to make sure she's successful.

Tim/Lance 1:26:19

Yeah, you're right.

Chad 1:26:20

I'll supply you guys with treats, yeah, so hit us up if you need connections for your cruise needs. On Carnival I will say that everybody talks shit about Carnival, but I've had nothing but good times.

Chad 1:26:31

on Carnival I will say that everybody talks shit about Carnival, but I've had nothing but good times on Carnival. It's been my favorite. It's been my favorite, Like whenever I went to Alaska and I did Princess. That was great, but it was a whole different experience. Carnival is a party. It is always fun, it's a good time and they have the best destinations.

Chad 1:26:49

I was like yeah, Guys burgers, that would be a lot, guys burgers and the pizza, okay, and the Red Frog Towers of Beer.

Chad 1:26:56

Yes, oh yeah, Red Frog was. They actually have breweries on some of the cruise ships and it's like Red Frog Pub. We're going to go.

Tim/Lance 1:27:05

Is that being required to do it?

Chad 1:27:12

We're going to get you on one. It'll be a good time. 24-hour pizza, enlisted 24-hour pizza, and guys, guys, and guys, guys.

Javier 1:27:16

Dude guys Like a boat full of men, oh man.

Chad 1:27:21

I thought we were talking about Guy Fieri, but apparently we're just talking about dudes.

Chad 1:27:24

Yeah, all right, gotcha 24-hour pizza and Guy Fieri. We've got to put the Fieri Fieri.

Javier 1:27:30

And there's a Shaq chicken place now. Oh yeah, sold, it's me, chad the big Shaq. I'm a shitty freezer. Is there really? Yeah. Dude. He's had the commercials. Shaq has the condo commercials.

Chad 1:27:43

Have you had their chicken yet? Yeah, there is.

Chad 1:27:47

No, there's one in Go, try it, it is good, I enjoyed it, yeah, and the Guy Fieri burgers or whatever. They put bacon in the meat and it is a good spot. It's delicious.

Chad 1:27:57

Oh, it's yeah.

Chad 1:27:58

All right, next up, jared. What are you most proud?

Tim/Lance 1:28:02

of I'm really drunk.

Chad 1:28:03

I can't hear you. Most proud of 2024 and most excited for 2025. Newly non-single man.

Javier 1:28:16

Ho excited for for 2025 newly non-single man, hooray, newly family man new family man, jared's also turning 40 soon.

Jarrod 1:28:20

Oh yeah, in about a week. Uh, I know it. I don't know like it's a lot's changed recently, like in the past few months. So I'm not even in the same place I was, so it's it's pretty crazy for that and like it's just I'm really having fun doing it. So I really like that kind of family life, and I got like a little starter kit, I guess, or whatever starter family kit.

Javier 1:28:44

Yeah, she has a nine-year-old daughter.

Jarrod 1:28:46

so I've had to become like a stepdad kind of role and I'm just like this is kind of fun. Yeah. And she's dude. Really I like hanging out with a nine-year-old girl.

Tim/Lance 1:28:56

Hold on.

Chad 1:28:57

This is a podcast.

Tim/Lance 1:28:58

This is actually going to air live. Don't go saying this Terrible phrasing.

Chad 1:29:03

Let's try again.

Chad 1:29:05

I did see that you just recently took her disc golfing, yeah, yeah.

Jarrod 1:29:12

Not the nine-year-old. Uh, actually she was there, but she barely played. She just thought it was dumb after a while. So yeah, but yeah, jess, uh took her out there and taught her how to play disc golf and she was like I want to go play again. I'm just like okay that's awesome.

Tim/Lance 1:29:22

You're not gonna hurt my feelings, so so, yeah, that's been pretty cool.

Jarrod 1:29:27

Um, and then, like she, the uh riley is the nine-year-old, she's in uh fourth grade, so I'm like helping her with her homework and I'm having to like relearn this shit because I'm just like what I don't think you really learned the first time. Let's be honest, I love you like math I'm pretty damn good at, but she's not, so it's like I'm trying to relate it to her and teach her how to do it, and I don't have a lot of patience, so I'm just like how are you not fucking getting this?

Chad 1:29:52

that's? That's what having the kid in your life is going to bring to you.

Jarrod 1:29:55

Yeah so that's definitely kind of helped me out. But yeah, and then I'm turning 40. Uh, here on the 29th was 18, so 11 days away, yeah, so that's, it's gonna be a hell of a party.

Christmas music 1:30:10

Yeah, I, I don't know, I was like I don't think anyone's going to come because most of the time, that time of year it's just kind of everyone's busy and shit. We'll be there.

Jarrod 1:30:20

I was like I want to do something.

Christmas music 1:30:22

We'll be there.

Javier 1:30:22

Yeah, yeah.

Jarrod 1:30:23

Yeah, it's starting at 3 and then just kind of got to go until whenever it fizzles out and it's just going to be a kind of come and go when you can. Gross Kind of a style party, I love coming to God.

Chad 1:30:32

We'll have some food there.

Jarrod 1:30:34

Gross. Just please don't come on my couch.

Javier 1:30:36

I'm going to get there.

Tim/Lance 1:30:40

Lance is going to be wearing a fucking Power Rangers helmet.

Jarrod 1:30:43

I might even grill some wieners. Hell yeah, yeah. So yeah, there's that. And then next year I'm just kind of excited to see what all this shit brings, because, like I've been, it's just been me and murray. For what?

Chad 1:30:58

that's sweet. 2020, pretty much 100 pound boy.

Jarrod 1:31:01

Yeah so he loves it now because she has a little dog named suzy and it's just like the dog's like almost 19 years old God damn. Holy shit, it's just like a little grandma dog. All it does is sleep, and then she'll growl at Murray sometimes, and we have a video. She's sitting there and he's just laying on the floor, just not even looking at her, and I'm just like what are you?

Jarrod 1:31:25

Do you see now old bat? But they vibe pretty good. I mean, they don't ever fight or anything. It's just kind of cool. I'm just excited to see next year what all it's going to bring.

Javier 1:31:37

Relationships I love the show guys.

Chad 1:31:40

We're happy for you, man, I want to ask you you went to an event that was at McFly's?

Chad 1:31:45

Yes, I just want to take a moment to talk about that, because I missed out on it.

Jarrod 1:31:52

I was a little upset that I missed it. If you have the chance to go see that whatever I've been referring to as midget wrestling- they refer to it as that Is that what it was called. I couldn't remember what the flyer said, so I didn't want to be like. This is midget wrestling.

Christmas music 1:32:06

You see that midget somewhere, all them little guys running around.

Jarrod 1:32:10

But if you have the chance to go see that, do it.

Chad 1:32:13

Let's go midget tossing everybody, okay so what we need to do is the next time that we have a chance to do it.

Christmas music 1:32:19

I want you to go, I want to go.

Javier 1:32:20

Javier wants to go. Chad wants to go, I want to go. I've been talking about it for years. Mikey wants to go.

Chad 1:32:25

Mikey lives close that when we have another Matt War pro wrestling, I want you to go with us. I think we're going to have a good time. Oh yeah, I want to go to Indy Wrestling.

Jarrod 1:32:35

The best part about this. It was like a Spanish promotion kind of. So the announcer had this super thing From Fort Worth, texas. There's this little midget he goes. His name was Firefly, but Firefly oh no poor Firefly the whole time. And then Firefly was this little bitty midget wrestler with a luchador mask and everything. I think I could guess that, yeah. And then he was fighting like a grown man. Oh, they had a clown mask.

Tim/Lance 1:33:10

I think they're all grown man.

Chad 1:33:11

Wait they were-.

Jarrod 1:33:12

No, it was like a full-size one.

Chad 1:33:14

They were fighting full-size people. Oh, that's wild.

Jarrod 1:33:16

So I got some videos and it was a clown. He's like no, payasito, no, don't do that to Firefly. Oh poor Firefly, and it was fucking-. I could not stop laughing at that dude, but they did that. And then I don't know if anyone remembers from WWE I think it was.

Tim/Lance 1:33:36

Sin. Cara he was there oh fuck you really Mystico is what he goes, as he was there no shit.

Javier 1:33:44

God damn what happened to him since he's over there.

Jarrod 1:33:47

I don't know he was.

Chad 1:33:50

I actually want all of us to go to Matt Pro War.

Javier 1:33:52

I think he said Bat Porn Matt War.

Chad 1:33:54

Pro.

Jarrod 1:33:54

Wrestling Matt Porn Bat Porn.

Chad 1:33:55

Because just to watch Javier yell. Oh yeah, Javier made the show A hundred percent. They need to hire Javier to be, a green. A plant in the audience.

Jarrod 1:34:05

Like a crowd plumper or a fluffer or something like that.

Javier 1:34:08

Yeah, this keeps me getting jerked off, we've got to check these guys off of here.

Chad 1:34:14

Get away from the mic. Get away from the mic, there you go. Just a loud man, he's a fluffer. All right man, we appreciate you coming out and hanging out with us and looking forward to your birthday, man.

Jarrod 1:34:23

Oh yeah, and this Friday night At 7.30, we're going live for our Christmas episode too, with the AM chat they're going to be on.

Javier 1:34:32

Oh cool, maybe we can have them on one day. Yeah, they're fucking funny yeah.

Jarrod 1:34:37

So I'm looking forward to that. We've already got some eggnog and stuff.

Chad 1:34:40

And that's going to be on YouTube, right? Yeah, yeah, we'll be live on.

Jarrod 1:34:43

YouTube on our channel the Tales from the Fort. Hell yeah, fart fort. Thanks for clarifying. You missed out on an opportunity there bud.

Tim/Lance 1:34:55

I know everyone would like see the tails from the fart.

Jarrod 1:34:56

I'm like fort damn it, oh I was like what are you talking about bathroom story?

Chad 1:34:58

I was like no, it's not all the time. It's a good y'all.

Celebrating Milestones and Looking Forward

Jarrod 1:35:03

Y'all go live every friday, right friday, or saturday, on saturdays, yeah, okay but since they've moved in I don't have my studio anymore, so I have to set up in the living room. So it's more of a process. So I only do it about every other week now, okay, but this week we're doing it on Friday, so we'll be live at 7.30, and I'll send it all out on my Facebook and all that stuff At.

Chad 1:35:27

Tales from the Fort on everything.

Jarrod 1:35:29

Yep, all right, tiktok, instagram, facebook. I think that's it All right.

Chad 1:35:36

All right. Well, next up, we've got Sarish. Sarish, what are you most proud of in 2024 and excited for 2025?

Chad 1:35:43

There's a lid on there still. I saw that one.

Chad 1:35:46

Nice pour Timothy Nice pour.

Prison Mikey 1:35:49

I was like no one's about to see this except for me. Did he fuck it up? What happened? What did?

Chad 1:35:53

I miss he was pouring with the lid on.

Tim/Lance 1:35:55

Ah you idiot.

Chad 1:35:57

I thought that. I mean it looks like a little pour stop.

Javier 1:35:59

It looks like it did it does.

Christmas music 1:36:00

It does you fool. All right, all right.

Sar-ish 1:36:04

I would say I'm most proud of just keeping my, because, while this year was great, it was amazing. We got to travel a lot. We did a lot of great things there was definitely some challenges. Chad knows can attest to that.

Chad 1:36:17

I think I've been here, yeah.

Sar-ish 1:36:19

Yeah, and then I am most excited about planning a wedding for next year. Oh shit For myself. Oh, you're going to be poor yeah. For myself and Chadwick over there.

Chad 1:36:34

No, no, this is for you, and you only, apparently.

Sar-ish 1:36:37

Yeah, it's just my wedding, only me. I'm going to marry myself.

Prison Mikey 1:36:40

Am I performing? Is it going to be here?

Chad 1:36:42

I get it, you're all right.

Prison Mikey 1:36:45

Are y'all getting married here?

Chad 1:36:48

Yes, it's looking more than likely. We're gonna get married in in the dfw area. We previously kind of talked about maybe getting like hitched in the mountains somewhere with like a very small crew and then coming back and just having a big fucking party. But more and more like the closer we get to, it's like we're probably gonna have a big you know thing here.

Javier 1:37:04

I have a wedding at griff's and then a big party at a big wedding hall. We're're not going to get married to Griffs Wedding up my dreams right there. Griffs is where it's at. That's what I've always dreamed of, actually. How did you know? They just remodeled. They just remodeled in there. The seats are new. Wow, I was talking about Griffs earlier with somebody. They got a killer hot dog.

Chad 1:37:28

We're not getting married to Griffs.

Sar-ish 1:37:29

Okay, that's something I love hot dogs I don't or maybe we will.

Chad 1:37:33

I don't fucking know. I knew it.

Tim/Lance 1:37:35

She loves hot dogs it's constant temperature check.

Chad 1:37:38

I never know what she fucking wants. You know what I mean, so maybe it is griffs, hey man, whatever makes her happy, you gotta do it. I mean, it sounds cheap, that sounds great like so.

Sar-ish 1:37:48

So that's the number one idea. So far, yeah, so far the cheapest yeah.

Chad 1:37:53

All right. Next up, we got Lance Lance. What are you most proud of of 2024?

Javier 1:37:58

Gay sex.

Chad 1:38:00

He said it For 2025. I'm still in a relationship, so that's a win. Congratulations.

Lance 1:38:10

I didn't get in trouble this year. I don't think You've been a good boy. I'm alive.

Chad 1:38:15

Hey, congratulations. The year's not up yet, buddy. Oh Jesus, that's true, I do have a couple weeks to.

Chad 1:38:21

Tim wants you dead.

Javier 1:38:24

Tim's got you on the dead pool. I brushed my teeth with a 9 mil. No, no, no jokes here about that Little do you know?

Chad 1:38:32

but I've become a beneficiary. He doesn't even know that. Fix that up, oh shit.

Tim/Lance 1:38:40

He's giving me his jerseys. I'm just going to inherit debt. Yeah, you're taking the dog. I want the dog.

Javier 1:38:48

I'll take the dog. Somebody's going to take the dog she doesn't want it. I'll take the dog. I want the dog. I'll take the dog. Somebody's going to take the dog. She doesn't want it. I'll take the dog. No, keep going. Good stuff, please. That's all I got. What do you got for next year?

Tim/Lance 1:38:57

Oh, next year I'm getting out of the Navy.

Javier 1:39:00

We're going to an Air Force's Bowl. This year that's literally next week. That's like a couple days before the new year though he's getting out of the Navy next year he's getting out of the Navy he's getting out of the Rihanna Navy.

Tim/Lance 1:39:09

That's a huge dub. Other than that, that's it.

Javier 1:39:15

That's all I can think of that I can say on here New season of One Piece going on. You know, New anime coming out. Okay, shut the fuck up.

Lance 1:39:23

There's always new anime Out of the Navy is a huge deal.

Christmas music 1:39:27

That's very exciting. That's 14 years.

Chad 1:39:28

I'm excited for all the things that bring life to you.

Chad 1:39:32

Government sucks 14 years 14 years. No more cock gobbling.

Lance 1:39:37

That's why you guys keep talking about these cruises and it makes me a little hesitant.

Chad 1:39:43

We're going to do all the cocaine. It's different because on these cruises-.

Lance 1:39:45

I understand it's different, but I still don't love the idea.

Chad 1:39:48

On these cruises you can get shit-faced and not have to worry about it.

Javier 1:39:51

You don't got to stomp your shit into the tub, and you're rarely on a boat as is.

Chad 1:39:56

I didn't do that to begin with.

Chad 1:39:58

If you drink water, it's not going to have fuel mixed into it. That's true, there's a lot of benefits man. I'm telling you All right, I get paid more money. Oh man, Well, I don't know. I'm ready to put this year behind me. To be honest with you.

Tim/Lance 1:40:18

Yeah, man, this guy's got a dead mom he's got

Jarrod 1:40:20

a Jesus.

Chad 1:40:22

Yeah.

Chad 1:40:23

I got a dead mom. I got a.

Chad 1:40:25

There's a lot of yelling for the dead moms club in the audience right now.

Chad 1:40:28

My mom died. She decided no she didn't decide. She didn't decide she decided to lose her brain and whatever.

Javier 1:40:39

Respectfully, respectfully.

Chad 1:40:40

Respectfully. I'm just ready to put that behind. It's been a weird year. Yeah, looking forward to next year. Man, I don't talk about my job a whole lot, but I'm going to be a City of Fort Worth employee. I'll end up being get this. They're going to call me a firefighter, but I won't do anything with fighting fire.

Chad 1:41:05

It wouldn't be the first time you're a firefighter, though no, it's not the first time.

Chad 1:41:08

Yeah, so I'll be with the City of Fort Worth as a single role firefighter on an ambulance again, which is kind of crazy, so we'll see how that goes um. But also, uh, I only have like four semesters left of my bachelor, so really oh nice, that's just rolling along, if I if I do summer school and everything like I've been doing, yeah, it's like four semesters without a minor.

Javier 1:41:27

I was whoa nobody wants a minor hold on man. I was. I was gonna do a minor, a minor. Whoa Nobody wants a minor. Hold on man. I was going to do a minor, a minor.

New Year Plans and Resolutions

Jarrod 1:41:35

I was going to get a minor.

Chad 1:41:37

But I might just drop that and just graduate.

Chad 1:41:40

Yeah, fuck the minor, Don't do that.

Jarrod 1:41:42

No, no, no no, no, no, no no. Yeah, so I'm just looking forward to you know what I mean.

Chad 1:41:48

Yeah, the next year should be. I mean, it's only up from here, right? Yeah, so it should be good, unless my dad just decides.

Javier 1:41:55

No, no, we're not doing that, Mikey.

Chad 1:41:58

he's old. So, Mikey, what are you most proud of of 2024 and excited for for 2025?

Prison Mikey 1:42:05

I think I'm the most.

Tim/Lance 1:42:05

Me too, man I don't want to go third again.

Prison Mikey 1:42:13

Proud of of, I guess, for 2024 is just all the stuff that like got me to to go through the buoy house thing. I left buoy house and I was just like all right, I'm grateful for that and I think that I'm excited for the next. Whatever the next step is, yeah, um, I'm kind of ready to leave 2024 behind too, because I'm like, wow, this, this was a wild year. It was very fun.

Prison Mikey 1:42:30

But I'm like I'm ready yeah I'm ready to step into the new, the new year. Um, yeah, my wife is gonna have a major major surgery next year, so she's gonna get recovery deal. It's like two months, basically wow. I don't want to go too deep into details because she's like very private person about it, but basically she's, she's got a lot of issues that she needs to get fixed and, yeah, once she gets this done, it's going to be January 6th, the anniversary of the capital rating.

Tim/Lance 1:43:06

Yeah.

Prison Mikey 1:43:07

And so, yeah, she's just going to get that surgery and then two months later she'll be new person.

Javier 1:43:12

so good yeah good, be good.

Prison Mikey 1:43:15

Um, yeah, other than that, I think 2024 too for me has been like the year to renew everything. Like getting out of buoy house. I think is for me like getting back to studying, uh, for my sommelier certifications and keeping going and then um getting the next up wine thing going, which is has been really interesting. It's just like a lot of it is um private catering, but then eventually it'll be like events related. Um, a big thing for new year's eve is getting together with these guys from rumors parties which are like local party throwing, but it's like you tested out the waters. You see what the reception's like. I guess their halloween party was like really cool. Um, I missed out on that one, but I was like talking with them because those guys were coming to booey house a lot and talking to me about what they were doing right well, now on new year's eve, we're gonna throw a gigantic party oh, it's gonna be really fun.

Prison Mikey 1:44:15

Uh, it's. They said the event space is close to walloons okay oh okay, so it's gonna be on that side of town like hemp hill area. Yeah but uh yeah, and then there there could be 200, 300 people there, Damn. And right now I'm just working on using connections and talking with people that are related to soft beverage beer, wine, whatever and getting sponsorships, and so it's going to be fun.

Javier 1:44:46

I have an idea of where it might be. I follow them and I'm really interested in going to one of those parties.

Prison Mikey 1:44:54

Yeah, follow them.

Javier 1:44:56

Yeah, they're on Rumors Parties, right they're kind of wanting to make it mysterious.

Prison Mikey 1:45:02

I think people were like well, what is this? How do we find out more information? They're not marketing themselves. They're really just being let's. Let's just yeah, like let's make it a party, let's make it not too exclusive, but like let's have good people.

Chad 1:45:19

What's that movie?

Chad 1:45:20

uh, the night before we just watched that the other day and they're like the nutcracker ball and they're all like been waiting for this party every year, and then finally they go to the nutcracker ball because jose Gordon-Levitt's character stole, some tickets out of a pocket of a jacket.

Prison Mikey 1:45:35

Yeah.

Chad 1:45:36

That's exactly what I thought when he was talking about this is that it reminds me, I think, of the Great Gatsby, oh yeah.

Chad 1:45:43

I think the night before was kind of based off of Well, yeah and the guy talks about it.

Chad 1:45:46

It was the drug dealer's party and he was like, yeah, I just always had a love for Great Gatsby. He actually says this.

Javier 1:45:52

I've never seen the Night Before, really, but you love Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Chad 1:45:55

I do, it's great. Come on, you should watch it.

Javier 1:45:59

I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Chad 1:46:01

That's a dick I'd suck. It's on the Plex. It's on the Plex.

Jarrod 1:46:06

I know that's how we saw it. Just watch it tomorrow.

Chad 1:46:08

We watched it on your.

Chad 1:46:09

Plex, it's on the Plex.

Prison Mikey 1:46:10

Okay, yeah, but check it out. I mean seriously, I think it's. Free drinks is what it is, because they don't have a license.

Chad 1:46:19

That's fucking awesome.

Sar-ish 1:46:20

I'm going to try to just get as much free product as I can.

Prison Mikey 1:46:22

Yeah, we're working on getting people to give us sparkling for the New Year.

Chad 1:46:28

Fuck, yeah, man.

Prison Mikey 1:46:28

Hell for the new year.

Chad 1:46:29

So, yeah, hell, yeah, excited about that nice, and what are you most excited about for next year?

Prison Mikey 1:46:33

next year. Um, I think that really just like getting into a new season, for me is enough. And then, uh, getting back with friends, I think, like having more time on my hands, not being as busy, um, are you gonna put more time into the next up? Yeah that and um, I'm definitely gonna have a day job, but the big thing is, like any job, I think would be less hours than 65, 70 hours a week.

Prison Mikey 1:47:04

So it's like if I get a 40 hour a week job, it's, it's a lot better. Yeah, I think that's gonna make it a lot easier. And a friend of mine went there to that level and was like, okay, I got just as much money, or maybe just like a little bit less, but I'm working 25 hours a week less, and just imagine how much time you have yeah, a normal 40 hour job, come on yeah because you don't realize what you're doing to yourself when you work those hours.

Prison Mikey 1:47:29

So then you're like, oh yeah, this is normal, yeah, for a year, and it's like maybe it's not normal not good for long term no, no, it's not good for long term, because I'm excited about that just having more time and spending more time with friends and family and yeah, all that as it should be.

Javier 1:47:46

Yeah, that's what it should be all right, javier, you're up 2024 24, man, I think it was just a bunch of busy stuff. That's all it really was, and you know, just throwing money at stuff that we wish we didn't have to, but relationship-wise that's, oh God. No, I'm kidding.

Tim/Lance 1:48:11

It's been fantastic.

Javier 1:48:12

Tammy's the worst uh, it's been really good. We had a really great year. Last year was fantastic, you know. 23 is fantastic. 24 was even better. Um, you know, we still had stuff that we were going through, like pet wise and you acquired two cats.

Chad 1:48:27

We acquired one cat, one cat, one cat.

Javier 1:48:29

You had the cat Trying to get another one that bit, tammy, and she has to take antibiotics for it now.

Chad 1:48:37

Cats are good. Tuxedo cat.

Javier 1:48:38

Let's have a thousand cats. Hey, I love cats man, I'm a cat man. We're well aware of your cat issue, but no, I think, regarding the podcast, we had our setbacks, but for a good reason, and I totally Don't look at Tim.

Chad 1:48:54

I wouldn't say that that was a good reason. It wasn't a good reason. It wasn't a good reason Because my mom died. Yeah, that's not a good reason, no, that's not a that's pretty fucked up, to say, javier.

Chad 1:49:03

My brother called me out on like talking about that Hold my hand, tim yeah and I was like it wasn't a good reason.

Javier 1:49:10

It was a good reason, but no, no, if there was any reason it should be that.

Javier 1:49:14

Spending time with the family. My sister like family kind of like we all kind of grew apart, not grew apart, moved away from each other. My sister just moved last week to McAllen to live with her boyfriend, so now she's like by herself. My mom and you know we're trying to like kind of do stuff with my mom now that we're going to try to do so that way she's not lonely, um, but other than that, uh, this stuff I want really. I really want the podcast to grow. Um, we kind of stunted our growth with all this stuff that happened. But I think next year, uh with you know the cd that we have coming out, you know the the cd the streaming album we have coming out, you know, the CD, the album, the streaming album we have coming out the Christmas album, you can find us on the corners of downtown Fort Worth.

Chad 1:49:57

Listen to this, listen to my mixtapes Slinging.

Javier 1:49:59

CDs, but I think what we have going on here for the podcast next year we've talked about throwing a 2000s party, you know.

Christmas music 1:50:07

Yeah.

Javier 1:50:07

We've talked about doing things and having events. I want to see this grow a lot bigger than this fifth year. It's going to be our fifth year.

Chad 1:50:13

If you show up to our 2000th party wearing JNCOs, you get in for free.

Javier 1:50:16

That's right, we're going to continue with like, if you get one of them dunking yo-yos, then you get a free shot. Remember them dunking yo-yos that they would go to your school like hey, look how cool this is.

Chad 1:50:29

I feel like it was like yo-yos against drugs or something it was.

Chad 1:50:32

But if, what was the thing? It was like the birdie thing the cradle, the cradle, the cradle yeah, cat the cradle, that's what it was dude, those motherfuckers I can do that one. They're like ah look at this.

Javier 1:50:44

It's like better than having sex, but you know, it turns out it wasn't. Um, no, I think the the growth of the podcast. I really want to see that happen in the coming year, but also, you know my relationship, I want that to grow bigger, so we'll see what happens. That's a wink. I just went through the camera, you know no one cares for that.

Chad 1:51:04

It was a weird thing, sorry she's watching, she's like embarrassed of me.

Javier 1:51:12

I'm sure she's like god damn we all feel embarrassed for you.

Chad 1:51:15

We love you, sam aflu. We're sorry that you did that uh, but more trips, I think.

Javier 1:51:19

More trips, more music festivals. I'm gonna go see fat boy slim january 10th, so that's gonna be fun nice um, acl in the coming year.

Javier 1:51:26

Kendrick lamar says, uh, um, everyone, you know. So it's gonna be a fun year. It's going to be a fun 2025. If I don't die, that is World Cup, baby. Manchester United is going to go all the way next year. We're going to win the Prem. We're going to win the FA Cup. We're going to win the Champions League. Going to get that treble again. Man, it's going to be good stuff. All I care about right now man City's going fucking down their fucking ass. Shout out to Pep Pep, you're losing. Baby, stay humble. So yeah.

Javier 1:52:02

There's that Woo ball bag. Listen to ball bag.

Tim/Lance 1:52:06

Ball bag, pop bag.

Prison Mikey 1:52:08

Okay, wow Just wanted to cut him off. A lot of wine, man. I'm just okay, chad, we haven't got to you all right exactly what wine does to you 2024.

Chad 1:52:19

I feel like it's been a re-evaluation year. It's been like getting back at my career after the you know year-long hiatus, ish, like with the layoff and whatnot, and then kind of like some self-evaluation shit, um engaged now, which is amazing, and feel decent about um decent decent at best really is the way I feel about it feeling great about where we are and looking, looking to the future.

Chad 1:52:45

So it's it's been. It's been a fucking great year. To be honest with you, it's been a weird year, but it's been a great year a year of growth yeah, it's been very much growth.

Chad 1:52:52

It's not like we've had some cool trips like hawaii and italy and some stuff, which was great, but it's been like a growth year like, uh, yeah, and then 2025, also looking forward to wedding and and getting married to this person, and then, um, and then uh, you know some some future things that we want to like. I want to be able to like propel my life and and my future kids lives for like this situation where we are you pregnant, no, no.

Javier 1:53:25

Yeah, I did, didn't it? You're drinking ma'am.

Tim/Lance 1:53:28

Your baby would like that no no, no, the baby's having a party that way. I I want to.

Funky Panther Social Media Promotion

Chad 1:53:33

I want to join it me my family, my close people up for success, and so I'm I'm going to be working on doing that next, that and and my mba and stuff like that. So another year of growth, but hopefully getting closer to the goals you know, but but looking forward to that. That's it.

Javier 1:53:49

Cool, cool, oh nice okay, we got sound effects, mikey you might not remember reading rainbow sound effects last time you were here I don't think we had sound effects I don't think we had this rainbow. Yeah, it was reading rainbow, yeah. No, we didn't have this whole studio. We didn't have any of this shit, the DMX reading rainbow yeah that shit was gold Nice.

Chad 1:54:12

Well, we have been on for like two hours now, so it's about that time to start wrapping up.

Javier 1:54:18

I don't know. Tim looks like he wants to say something.

Chad 1:54:19

No, I don't want to say anything. I've just got something queued up to play as we go out.

Chad 1:54:23

Okay, yeah, can I talk over it? Yeah, okay, funky Panky Poop, funky Panky Poop. Mikey, where can people find NextUp on social?

Prison Mikey 1:54:39

media Instagram. I'm not making content on TikTok right now, but it will be on there. Okay. I was, but I took a long break. But yeah, Instagram and TikTok.

Javier 1:54:51

He just keeps getting louder, he just turns it up. He's like shut the fuck up, shut up, mikey, listen to this song.

Chad 1:54:58

Just keep on talking, I wish I could, but no one can hear what we're saying. Okay Well, thank you for coming on the show again, man. This has been a great time. Thank you for drinking some amazing wine with us and chilling and bringing us some whiskey.

Javier 1:55:12

And shout out to Blackland, shout out to Blackland Distillery over there in Fort Worth, weisenberg.

Prison Mikey 1:55:16

They're keeping it Fort Worth, no matter how big they get. They'll still be 100% Going to 30 states, but still keeping it local.

Tim/Lance 1:55:23

Hell yeah, baby.

Chad 1:55:24

If you don't want to do so, please make sure you follow all things Funky Panther things, uh, funky panther on social media. We you can find us on tiktok, instagram, facebook, twitter, x, whatever we still have that. You can find all of it at thefunkypanthercom.

Chad 1:55:36

You can call text, leave us a voicemail 817-677-0408 we absolutely fucking love you and we hope you've had the best year, but look forward to 2025 and all the things that funky panther is going to bring you in 2025. We love you everybody. Stay good. I'm chad. I'm harvey here, I'm tim and I'm mikey and all the things that Funky Panther is going to bring you in 2025. We love you everybody, stay good. I'm Chad. I'm Harvey here.

Prison Mikey 1:55:54

I'm Tim and I'm Mikey.

Christmas music 1:56:00

And for the last time in 2024, we are the Funky Panthers. Funky Panthers All day. You come first. That's the only plan. I'm the gift that keeps giving. I'm a patient man. Lights dim, low and the music's right. This is your holiday.