The Funky Panther

Kanye’s Nazi Fashion, Public Poop Horror Stories & The Brown Note Conspiracy

• Chad, Tim, Javier • Episode 194

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We've all been there—stomach rumbling, cold sweat forming, and no bathroom in sight. In this episode, we expose our most humiliating, panic-inducing bathroom disasters that will make you grateful for every flushable toilet you've ever encountered. From desperate public dump decisions to fully-naked survival tactics, this is the episode you never knew you needed.

Then, we take a hard left into insanity with the "Brown Note" conspiracy—a sound frequency rumored to make you lose total bowel control. Is it real? Has the military secretly tested it as a weapon? And more importantly, could we use it for evil?

Also in this episode:

  • Chad’s Olympic-level ladder-climbing obsession (because why not?)
  • Tim’s post-dental drugged-up adventure at Trader Joe’s (bad decisions were made)
  • Javier infiltrates the Fort Worth music scene (or does he?)
  • Kanye West’s latest Nazi-inspired fashion disaster (yep, he’s still talking)
  • Local legend Abraham Alexander gets screwed at the Oscars (Hollywood hates Texas)
  • Florida Man swallows $769K in stolen jewelry (because of course he does)

Five years and 193 episodes later, we’re still serving up zero-filter, unhinged conversations that you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or a first-time listener, welcome to the wildest corner of the internet.

#PublicPoopHorrors #BrownNoteWeapon #KanyeWest #OscarsAreRigged #FloridaManMadness

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Javier:

Gentlemen, this is Democracy Manifest. Have a look at the headlock here. See that chap over there. Get your hand off my penis. This is the bloke who got me on the penis before.

Chad:

You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? What, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I told him I was like stop sending me this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I told him I was like stop sending me the shit. And he goes oh, I'm like no, I'm serious, stop sending this shit. And then every now and then and I can always tell just by looking through there's going to be like some lady that shows nipple or something. I'm like okay, I'll give this one, I'll give this one a watch.

Tim:

Yeah.

Chad:

Let me just it's worth the risk. You know what I mean. I click on it. It's shitty. I tried, of course, right.

Javier:

Why do you need Chad GPT for basketball? So?

Chad:

He said NBA. I think I can help with this whole NBA NBA situation, yeah, but you know, I had to write like this seven paper and I was like hey, check my work man butts ahoy Right.

Tim:

What the fuck NBA.

Javier:

Man butts ahoy. That's what it's for.

Tim:

Okay, are we going to actually do the whole?

Javier:

intro.

Chad:

Because we should probably hit that now.

Javier:

Oh, I'm looking at the YouTube thing and it's like we've got 15 seconds. We do not. Yeah, I guess, get in here. We gotta start the show. Oh, fuck, okay, we're gonna do that.

Chad:

We gotta start the show. We haven't done it in a while.

Javier:

They didn't hear me say this stuff about the H-word, did they, who knows?

Tim:

Oh, God, did they Okay.

Chad:

Oh, hello everyone, and welcome to the Funky Panther Coming to you from Fort Worth, texas. We have got an episode for you here on episode 193. Hooray, huzzah, goddamn 193. So sit back, relax, enjoy, let's get into it. I'm Chad, I'm Javier, I'm Tim.

Javier:

And we are the Funky Panther. How sweet it is, five years going.

Chad:

Five fucking years.

Tim:

We should be a lot higher on the number, but you know.

Chad:

Look, everyone's got to take breaks, but we're still going.

Tim:

We've done a lot of different things and we've slacked off a lot.

Javier:

I don't know man, Life happens. Taking care of your mom isn't slacking off.

Tim:

I'm not talking about just that.

Chad:

I man, life happens. Taking care of your mom isn't slacking.

Tim:

I'm not talking about just that, like I slacked off in that department. Yeah, you did what in that department?

Chad:

hey, you jacked off in that department. No, no, no. Which department in the slacking off department I was. I was uh with someone this weekend like hey, do you ever just go to home depot and just to use the restroom? I'm like, are we talking about? Like the toilets that aren't hooked up to anything Like? What are you talking about?

Tim:

right now. No, you use the family bathroom.

Chad:

But they like drive all day and so they're like specific about, like you know, like I would go to QT. Qt's a nice bathroom Sometimes.

Javier:

Sometimes when you're driving around nonstop, you're going to find that hella bathroom and apparently Home Depot or Lowe's are some of them. I think Lowe's would be the superior bathroom because Home Depot is the working man's bathroom. So guys that are coming off the job site picking up like lumber or whatever and they go and they're full of sawdust and they got to take a shit.

Tim:

So what happens if you're in public? You're out and about and you have one of those urges where you've got to take a shit, but it's like oh, those it's a full-on, your clothes have to come off shit what are you wearing?

Javier:

are you wearing like a regular clothes?

Chad:

have you ever had this situation where all your clothes had to come off?

Tim:

yeah, like you're fighting for your life. Have you never had that I mean?

Chad:

yeah, but it's like so rare, so you're talking about these super uber rare situations public got it. Okay, I feel like I've done that and I'm I don't want to tell the story, but I did do that in like a rocky mountain national park, like essentially like an outhouse and it was not okay I think I ended up just tossing my underwear in in that situation.

Tim:

But I mean, I've just I've never had one of those situations where I've been like, oh, dude, I'm gonna like, because I don't know if you're like me where I I was. If it's bad, I get really sweaty, yeah, and like I don't want to be drenched in sweat you mean like food poisoning, no just like something just hits and you're just like instant, like your body's upset with you. Your whole body just like starts sweating everywhere.

Chad:

You're sliding off the seat it's like something in your brain just starts pulling levers like get him, motherfuckers yeah it's like the feeling where you you've been holding it and your body knows you're getting close to home and that's the worst.

Tim:

What?

Chad:

the fuck is up with that. It's like.

Javier:

It's like the more that you think about it it's like your body's like, okay, loosen up a little now. And you're like, no, don't, don't loosen up.

Tim:

I got five minutes left in my drive.

Chad:

Yeah, stop please At work. There's three floors that I like to go to the restroom in Because nobody's in them right the top two floors, because they used to be where the executives were, and so it's like marble floors.

Chad:

Really extravagant bathrooms, you just feel safe. You know what I mean. Kind of like a Bucky bathroom where it's just completely enclosed, or the basement, which also has a pretty decent bathroom, but it never fails. As soon as I get like I'm fine, and I get up to the elevator shaft, and then it just fucking hits. I'm like jesus christ, I'm gonna shit in this elevator.

Tim:

So yeah, I know what you mean, hey if you shit in the elevator, are you quitting? Are you, are you? Are you done you just?

Javier:

drop it and walk out. There's a camera in the elevator. Oh, of course there. Oh, of course there are.

Tim:

Yeah, but I'm just saying like is that like, like that's your like, that's your force? You know, like quietly quitting, yeah, or they're trying to quietly fire you. They start putting things in the water To make you shit yourself. We're going to make these motherfuckers, just shit all over the place they're never going to come back, and if they do come back, we're going to hit them with a trespassing Jesus. Yeah, maybe that could be part of the plan. One way or another, we're going to make sure that they're not rehirable. That's what's happening.

Javier:

Oh. So what did he do to leave your place of employment? Oh yeah, he took a shit in the elevator.

Chad:

He just shit himself in the elevator. He just walked away. He didn't even tell the janitor, he just went down to the bottom and he left as a matter of fact, he got to the third floor and then took the stairs all the way down.

Tim:

I think at that point you have to. I think you just have to leave.

Chad:

Do you think there's anyone that's really that maniacal, that has like not even just one person, but like a company or a organization that has like completely went to, like fucking someone's like bowels up or something like that?

Tim:

I don't know if like just to ruin lives, but like individuals, yeah, yeah, individuals have done that to multiple people.

Chad:

I'm thinking like at war, you think if someone's at war and then like someone just like, sends them like I don't know, cans of food, but the cans of food are like yeah or the the brown note, I wonder.

Tim:

I think the brown note's actually real I think oh, the brown note.

Javier:

Okay, was that south park yeah.

Tim:

So I mean the government's done some really fucked up shit. When they're coming up with like uh gay frogs.

Javier:

Well, they tried to come up with they tried to make a gay bomb, yeah, in the world war ii.

Tim:

So yeah, in world war ii they tried to make a bomb that released a pheromone that would just make all the soldiers in the fucking trenches fuck each other, because then they're gonna be so busy having sex with each other that the war's over.

Chad:

Is it wrong that? I kind of wish that they actually made that happen. Wouldn't we be just in a happier world? It's like war ended, just a bunch of people getting it on.

Javier:

I can't stop jeezing on you.

Chad:

Well, wasn't it like whenever we were close with Cuba and the borders opened up or whatever, we had an embassy or something there, and then they had like, well, they were hitting the sound stuff, yeah Right, the sound waves, and they were making people sick?

Tim:

Oh yeah, they were, and so they all had to come back.

Chad:

That seemed like I thought it was made up. When they said that on the news, I'm like there's no fucking way that's a real thing.

Tim:

You hit someone with enough EMF or whatever it is. What is it? Electric, magnetic EMF? Yeah.

Javier:

What is it? Imf.

Tim:

It's just electronic magnetic frequencies Frequencies, that's what it is, and then it just bombards you with it. Yeah, I'm sure it can make you sick.

Chad:

I'm sure it can. I mean, that's what it sounds like happening.

Tim:

You watched what was that? Uh, better call saul, yeah, yeah. So his brother was like. He thought like the power lines are making, him sick and all that stuff. Sorry, that's a spoiler if you haven't seen it's been out long enough, come on um same thing. You know, same, but just a lot stronger right it's way where you're gonna, you gotta wear your tinfoil hat, could you imagine, though, if you're, if you had that technology, like the brown note technology, I'd have it installed in my car. Motherfucker cuts me off.

Chad:

I just hit the button like I just ruined your day I'd be honest with you that's probably the absolute best use you could have for it.

Tim:

Yeah, it's like a directed.

Chad:

If, like, someone cuts you off, boom, you got shit yourself. Now, don't you bud I?

Javier:

would drive down like 7th street at night, and you know I drive by by El Chingon on purpose, so that way all those motherfuckers.

Tim:

You'd have to have it like where it'd be directional right, so you'd have to have, like I'd have, two speakers going both ways and driving down real slow.

Chad:

Just hit them all yeah, yeah.

Javier:

And you know what?

Tim:

And I'll play Drive Slow by Kanye West while I'm doing that, you just embed it into the music.

Chad:

Yes, brings me back to high school and having the PA system blare down Main Street and Stockyards. So, boys, what have y'all?

Tim:

been up to, Because it's been a minute since we've all been together and gotten into this room. You know it has.

Javier:

It has. You hadn't been here the longest Chad, so you go ahead.

Chad:

I just wrapped up my first NBA class.

Tim:

So I'm waiting to get my man butts ahoy, man butts ahoy. Nba class man Butts, ahoy, man Butts, ahoy we decided.

Chad:

That's what it is. It's either basketball or man Butts Ahoy. It's not anything to do with college education. But, yeah, so that's just about. I mean that's done. I took my exam just waiting for the scores Should be good. Did a little we went to Seattle not too long ago. That was a lot of fun. Did you end up in leavenworth? We went to leavenworth for a night. It was beautiful to the prison.

Tim:

We did not I was gonna say I thought that was just a prison town. Yeah, I was like you're going there for?

Tim:

a conjugal or?

Chad:

what no, like leavenworth, apparently. Like I was here, like I hung out with my buddy tavo that lives up there, um, and he was like, yeah, leavenworth was just this like town that was kind of just dying. And they're like what, what can you do, state of oregon, to save our town?

Tim:

we'll build a prison, the leavenworth that we're talking about. It's not in that song. Oh, is it not?

Chad:

okay, I was like I don't even know it is yeah so, essentially, this town was dying and they're like well, you know, it looks like you're in the alps, like the mountains are surrounding you. It's gorgeous.

Tim:

Yeah, I was. I saw that you was tagged leavenworth. I was like I have no idea what this is.

Chad:

Yeah, this looks too nice to be here. It was awesome and apparently they just kind of used that and, like you know what, make it into like a nice little German town and that's exactly what it was Like. There was a lot of German bars and gingerbread spots and a really good brewery. Shout out to Lance and some of his friends from the area that gave us some recommendations.

Tim:

But yeah, we had a great time.

Chad:

It was a quaint little german town, it was okay, it was cold as shit, man, like it was so cold. We were in seattle and it was chilly uh, because the wind really. But then you get up and you don't realize, like halfway to leavenworth it just starts pouring snow on top of us and the mountain like it goes from no snow to like all the trees are covered, like almost instantly it's weird.

Chad:

You just kind of hit this like elevation and it's just all snow, uh. But yeah, it was cool and we saw a lot.

Tim:

Yeah, we just had a great time it was fun see some uh wildlife, any, any animals, any eagles out there any uh nude people sunbathing on the puget sound honestly, I don't think I saw any of those.

Chad:

there was an aquarium, uh, and so, like you can walk up to the aquarium and to the aquarium and there's actually an aquarium above you without even having to go inside and pay, and so I saw a shark. I don't know if that counts for anything.

Tim:

You don't have to go inside to pay, no, there's just an aquarium above you. So in Leavenworth the sky is an aquarium.

Chad:

Well, no this is Seattle.

Tim:

Sorry.

Tim:

We're back to Seattle, back to.

Chad:

Seattle, leavenworth, doesn't have an aquarium.

Tim:

Look, I've been to Seattle and I know the sky's. What were you on? The sky's not an aquarium.

Javier:

Aren't shrooms legal up there.

Tim:

I don't know they do have smoke shops. Or cocaine. It's a gray area.

Chad:

Yeah, yeah, so did that. And then I this past weekend spent like 25 hours acting in a show that our buddy Jesus from Spectre previously put together. So that was a ton of time and work, but I can't wait to see what it turns out.

Tim:

Did you disclose anything on that or did you sign your NDA no?

Chad:

It's going to be like this short series, short episodes, that's going to come out, I don't know when. It's very like, I don't know a lot of things.

Tim:

It'll come out when it's finished, yeah.

Chad:

But it's about like I guess it's six characters and it's kind of think workaholics, but in a barbershop, I guess, sort of so it's barbershop.

Javier:

No, it's like barbershop no. Barbershop with ice cube. No, you just said it's like workaholics with barbershop.

Chad:

Yeah, but like it's not like barbershop, it's just in some of it's in a barbershop.

Javier:

Is it about three white people that get high all the time and just go to a barbershop?

Tim:

No, because that'd be like barbershop basically.

Chad:

No, and to be honest, with you.

Tim:

I've never seen this there. I've never seen any of the barbershops.

Chad:

Really they're not for us, they're. We are not.

Tim:

We're not the demographic for barbershop do you, do you ever feel uncomfortable whenever you watch uh shows that are definitely not made for us? Like nothing but love or uh like I've never seen any of the medias, really yeah medea goes to jail, I feel like I feel happy halloween medea.

Chad:

I tried to watch one medea and I was like this is not for me. Generally, I'm on board.

Tim:

Medea is not and it's not that it it's that I don't understand it like I just don't get the. I don't get the cultural references. And that's true, yeah, I got you but uh yeah so I'm looking forward to that.

Chad:

Hopefully, you know, we'll learn more about it in the future barbershop we should have like one and Jesus on at some point to talk about it, because they were actually like right, they were the ones that wrote it and so they know a lot more about it than me see, I've always wanted to write uh like a, like a script or screenplay you can.

Tim:

Now, I don't know, I don't know the first thing to like how to do it. So I really do need to sit down with them at some point because I I've got some ideas.

Chad:

Dude, I will tell you, this whole process has been very eye-opening, like I like like the, the filmography, like doing different takes and different, like how he was going, different positions with the camera and and we were just like non-stop. And then we've been doing script reads for two months now. He had like three comedians son one and me that were like the actors in it and the comedians were fucking great, like CJ stars right here in DFW. Jenny is also in DFW, and then Freddie is up in Vegas and all and he flew down for it or whatever, but they're fucking hilarious. Yeah, like I think that CJ is going to be at Hyena's tomorrow and I might try to go see him, but I've been exhausted with work and shit. But we'll see. But yeah, I guess that's about it and wedding planning, trying to figure out what, when, where and all that good stuff.

Tim:

And how, yeah, and how. It's just been nonstop. You never know how.

Tim:

Yeah, well, I mean, you get married right, sure. Yeah, yeah, Well, I mean, you get married right, sure. I would say it's a new experience, but it's not a new experience, so I can't say that it is still a new experience.

Javier:

You know what they say about experiences in general, they're experiences. It's just an experience it doesn't have to be a new experience, but an experience nonetheless.

Chad:

But with a new experience you never really know what you're going to get. True. But, get with this one because, it's an experience, but it is new.

Tim:

Well, I mean, it's a new type of experience. It's new type, but it's not. Well, no, it's an experience that's still an experience I say, experiences are still great.

Javier:

Sometimes the experiences are better than the first one.

Tim:

Yeah, and sometimes you know so, yes, sometimes just as good as the third, one or eighth, or eighth, or eighth wait.

Chad:

Who's been married eight times secretly?

Tim:

my dad oh no, I'm fucking, I'm kidding uh, the only thing, the only last thing I want to mention is I went to this training today.

Chad:

Where I was it's for installing internet.

Tim:

Yeah right, essentially uh so you've learned how the internet's installed sort of.

Chad:

Mostly we learn how to climb ladders and how not to be slapped on the hand by eh and s like people coming in and checking on us, whatever, but, um, a lot of ladder stuff, yeah. But I realized something about myself today. You don't like heights, well, well, I mean okay, with heights I am a little competitive. I don't know. Oh really, I don't know if y'all know this about me. I literally realized this today. Did you Chad? I did Because this guy ran up the ladder. You've got to do about 100 steps just to climb a ladder.

Javier:

Let's just get into what you're wearing first when you're doing this. What?

Chad:

are you wearing? I steps just to climb a ladder. Let's just get into what you're wearing first. When you're doing this, what are you wearing? I'm wearing this big old leather belt, right.

Tim:

I like leather belts. I've got two big D-rings like big metal D-rings, the old D-ring, the ones you can just got. How big are the D-rings?

Chad:

I mean, they're that big.

Tim:

God damn boy, that's a big ass boy.

Tim:

Big enough to get my hands in there. Yeah, you can get your hands in there. You can kind of cuff yourself in your own belt.

Javier:

I like to cuff myself in there.

Chad:

And they've got a little bag in the back so you can hold your goods Like a satchel, yeah, but like an open satchel.

Javier:

Kind of like think of a rock climber dipping their hand in chalk Like an open purse yeah, like a camel's testicle if you opened it up wide honestly yes, exactly, just like one, because I'm pretty sure they they're big, so maybe just half of that, but yeah okay, um, and then you got to put your.

Chad:

I already forgot the fucking name fte I think it's fte, like the electro uh ac check or whatever, to make sure that I don't get electrocuted uh-huh yeah, yeah, I think it's called fte. So you put that in your bag and you got these different straps.

Tim:

The fucking dick examiner right, exactly, you're so good with fucking.

Chad:

I know, I know, I just can't even remember them, so I'm glad you can um leather belt and d-ring.

Tim:

Oh you chat. What did I click? You clicked on the the right thing, so I'm wearing this belt and I've got this strapless like with some like strapless.

Chad:

Um, what do you call the, the clicky clip things? Lighter like carabiners. Carabiners, but oh, what care what he said, it I didn't, so you on one of them, not care, carab what carabiner listen, oh hell no, take care of beaner. So we've got on the back, you've got to hold it, to clip it in and then that way it unlocks the front.

Tim:

Like these are heavy dude clips, right, yeah, so you don't fall off, right is it essentially like uh, like you're rock climbing, like you're wearing a girdle yeah, like it's not going underneath my crotch, it's just tight right above the hips, dude those. Those things are nice though, because they really accentuate the penis. Yes, that's nice. So if you don't have, you really like clothing that accentuates the penis I do hold on.

Chad:

Let's take a minute you like gray sweatpants on, like that's something that you wore, yeah, and talked about I like sweatpants you bought underwear specifically for the way they make your junk look no, not to make my junk look.

Tim:

We both know they do make your junk look good, yeah, but I bought them to separate things and it just happens to make it look better.

Chad:

You like wearing things that make your you know, pull it up I did that when I worked at Best Buy.

Javier:

You know you had to wear those khakis, Did you?

Tim:

make sure they were a little tight.

Javier:

Yeah, I did, and with my famous stars and straps, belt buckle and all the girls that worked at customer service and at Car Audio. You remember Morgan from Car.

Tim:

Audio. Well, they would always like Huh, you used to buy weed from her. Really, yeah, I miss her. They would always like huh, I used to buy weed from her.

Javier:

Really, yeah, I miss her. She was so cool. But no, they would just make it curve enough to where it makes it look like I got a fat old package. I'm like okay, this works.

Tim:

I'm working with what I got. I might, I might.

Javier:

I still have shirts that I wore back in those days.

Tim:

Buddy, I don't know if your waist can fit into it. Oh no, I can probably fit one leg in it, yeah.

Javier:

But I'm not, that's like 10 sizes ago. Yeah.

Tim:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Javier:

No, no carabiners. But yeah, no, please, I'm sorry, go ahead.

Chad:

No, you're good, You're rings, a carabiner with this long strap and then a little bag with my electricity detector and another strap. So you got to have the ladder. You pull it kind of away from the pole, sure, and then there's a rope so you can kind of extend it upward. So I'm like pulling on this rope so it clicks all the way up because I mean we're going quite a ways up this electricity pole, so it's pretty big. And then you got to strap the bottom for safety obviously.

Chad:

So you got to strap the bottom and then you climb up, and when you get up top, first thing I do is check electricity, because the pole could be could be energized the wooden pole. The wooden pole because they can be wet and if there's like a wire coming through. It could be, you know yeah, it could.

Tim:

It could kill you.

Chad:

So you kind of check everything and then you you wrap around the pole and you strap yourself in, and then you strap another thing in, so you're like double strapped in there. So there's one through the ladder in the pole and there's one just connecting the ladder to the pole, because the first one goes to you too, right, I'm trying to put this in my head, so I want to quiz you just real quick okay

Tim:

because I want to see, to see if you know, I'm going to fail.

Tim:

So on the ladder, that little rope thingy that you pull, what is the technical name of?

Chad:

that. Well, the guy said rope, so I'm going to go with rope. It's a halyard, I don't fucking know it's a didgeridoo. So I would take didgeridoo. So I'm at the top of this thing. I've got this yellow strap that I've wrapped around the pole to kind of give you a visual.

Tim:

It's wrapped around the pole and connected to my belt so I can kind of you can, lean back. Lean back on it, is it?

Chad:

just one. It's just one thick, thick belt right and so it's hooked onto my D-ring so I can kind of lean back and kind of sit back in my little belt. Got a little trust fall situation there.

Tim:

Yeah.

Chad:

And then you have the other one that actually connects the ladder to the pole. So that one's really what's connecting that. But this one just kind of helps you out, right.

Tim:

So you don't have to.

Chad:

Otherwise, for safety you have to have three points of contact. You got to have your feet and at least one hand at all times. So if you switch hands, you got to do this. You can't go grab around the thing at the same time, or maybe you can and yeah, you'll die, or I don't know. That's what they said. So the whole thing about this is it's a hundred steps to climb a ladder which seems to be something simple, yeah right steps. However, well like, so not actual 100 steps on the ladder.

Javier:

Oh, you gotta do this, damn dude. No wonder 9-11 didn't work. I mean, it worked, depending on what side you're on, but wow but no.

Chad:

So I realized that when the guy got up there before me, I was like, oh, I could do that so much faster. I can do that. So my first thought was not like this guy is safe, this guy's doing good work. I'm like I could fucking do it better. And when I did and I got down and the trainer was like great job, I'm like thank you. It was like this validation that I didn't need. That I did, though you know what I mean. And it wasn't only that, like it wasn't just the ladder, it was. We had to go through this whole exercise of like the safe way to pull a ladder off the top of a truck, and I killed it. Everyone else was hog shit.

Tim:

Chad didn't get enough validation as a child, so now he's seeking it in ladder climbing, which is fucking weird and then I I was in my car driving home.

Chad:

I'm like I think I got a fucking problem. But yeah, that was something I I recognized you know myself into therapy again and uh, yeah we gotta bring this up.

Tim:

I don't understand this. What's wrong with me?

Chad:

it's okay, all right, like I. I can't be competitive in sports because I'm too big to be good at it. I can't be competitive in sports because I'm too big to be good at it.

Tim:

I can't be competitive in games because I don't have enough time to play games to be good at games anymore I think you do, so I gotta get it in where I can. You know what I mean?

Chad:

that's what she said, yeah I think that I'm gonna pick up. Uh, danny, you know danny's in town now and so we've been hanging out probably once a week or so, and and so he was like do you want to pick up tennis again? I was like that'd be fucking fun. Also, pickleball is a fun thing. I want to learn how to play pickleball. So there's that.

Tim:

Chad's ripped up over a ladder. Yeah, it's fucking weird, I don't know man.

Javier:

I don't think you should do pickleball unless you fucking stretch first, because we all know what happened whenever we tried to play fucking racquetball.

Chad:

I know, and I have not had any issues with my calf literally until this past week. It like tightened up on me and I was like what the?

Tim:

fuck, it's been a while. Better get that sleeve out again. Yeah, I know.

Chad:

I think I'm good, but I will stretch.

Tim:

Agreed. I had a little surgical procedure.

Chad:

Yes, tell us. It's a wait to hear about this.

Tim:

So I had to have a. I had to have a tooth uh, extracted bone graft put in because I had a. I had a root canal, like that was 10 years old and it the crown popped off. So, uh, they, they put me under and I'm getting a fake tooth put in at some point I don't know when that happens, but at some point anyways, they put me under and, um, I don't know how long I was out, but the doc was really cool. He was talking to me right before and he's asking me questions about my job.

Chad:

Oh, you're on a first-name basis. He's doc now. Wow, the doctor. Y'all got close, dude.

Tim:

Dr K. I can't pronounce his last name.

Chad:

It's just doc.

Tim:

Yeah, so he was talking to me about night and that's what you remember. I remember that. And then the next thing, I know I'm kind of groggy, waking up right and um. So they said you have to eat soft foods and we had already made a plan that jesse was going to take me over to trader joe's because where I went to was Fort Worth Oral Sex, oral and Fort Worth Oral and Fort.

Javier:

Worth yeah.

Tim:

Which is right around the corner from Trader Joe's.

Javier:

Of course it is. Oh, I know where that is.

Chad:

I know where that is, f-w-s. It's over there by-, did you say?

Javier:

Fort Whirl Fort Whirl, fort Whirl.

Chad:

Fort Whirl.

Javier:

Fort Whirl Sounds like a whale Whirl. No, it's over there by Trader Joe's. Yeah, but it's further down right.

Tim:

It's literally like Trader Joe's. Man, I don't believe you, you go just right past Trader Joe's.

Javier:

That's the bootleg guy, that's the bootleg oral guy. Anyways, I'm listening, tim. I'm listening.

Tim:

I'm listening to the bootader Joe's. We're going to get some food right.

Chad:

Oh, so good.

Tim:

Yeah, so we get into the car and I do remember this. I remember her audio book kicked on and I've been joking that she's listening to smut, but she's not. They just sometimes happen to have some.

Chad:

It's got a sex book. Yeah, sometimes Like Fifty Shades of Grey, some shit, not quite that bad.

Tim:

Okay, I remember I think that said he showed her and then she cut it off, yeah, and I just blurred out his penis, and so I don't remember saying that.

Tim:

Right, but I just remember the audio book.

Tim:

The situation yeah, so she told me that I don't say penis in the store. I don't remember her telling me this, so we go into trader joe's. I guess she was quite worried that I was going to start saying penis in the show in the store. I would be yeah it could happen. But we go into the store and we're walking around and I don't remember getting any of the food what is the goal?

Chad:

like to get soft foods at trader joe's, so we're gonna going to get like soup and yogurt and things like that which we did.

Javier:

Mashed taters.

Tim:

I ended up getting some badass tomato dumpling soup with Calabrian chili. Dude, Calabrian chili. They've got a whole jar of it there. Oh yeah, I love that. What is it? Say it again.

Chad:

Calabrian. It's like a spicy Italian chili Chili. It's like a spicy Italian chili Chili Like it's like if you're going to put like hot salsa into something, but like you could put in any Italian dish.

Tim:

So like pizza pasta. It's fucking delicious. I've never heard of this. It is amazing. So anyways, and Trader.

Chad:

Joe's has the best. It's like a jar.

Tim:

So I remember the soup, but apparently I was on an Indian kick because I guess I picked out two. I picked out two, I picked out buttered chicken.

Chad:

Okay.

Tim:

Love it A freezer meal. You know, whatever Our microwave dinner and lamb vindaloo Don't remember getting any of those. I also apparently picked out three different types of yogurt, One that she tried to convince me not to get, which was a dairy-free cashew yogurt. I opened the fridge up because I was looking for food and I found that yogurt. It was delicious.

Chad:

I'm sure it was.

Tim:

I'm happy I got it. I don't remember getting it.

Tim:

I was really confused, like why is there three different types of yogurt in here, so that one was good? I didn't remember the freezer meals, and there was a few other things that I have no recollection of happening um, I was like you were high and you just wanted everything dude. I walked up to her with a box of like a four pack of sodas and they were reeds. Uh, ginger beer extra, okay, zero sugar, nice Mmm. Extra.

Chad:

Okay.

Tim:

Zero sugar, nice. She asked me what it was and I said I want this and that was it.

Chad:

So, from Jesse's perspective, is this like something that you like? You're like a kid and you're bringing it to the car and you're like can I? Have this Dude.

Tim:

I just walked up with it in my hand and didn't say anything, you just expected, this is ours now, and I was like I want this so and she asked, and she's like man, I want this.

Tim:

So the medicine they gave me is called Versed and Versed. They use that Versed and Propofol. Versed kind of knocks you off, knocks you out, and then Propofol keeps you asleep. It's what Michael Jackson got was Propofol.

Chad:

Got you. Why does Versed sound like it's not the full word?

Tim:

Is it the full?

Chad:

word it is. It sounds like you're just stopping.

Tim:

It's like what did you have? Versed, yeah. And then it's Versed. Okay, but Versed has an amnesic effect. So if you get it, you're going to have lapses of memory with it, which I surely did. And now I completely understand why they didn't want me to drive after sedation, because there's no telling where I would have gone.

Javier:

I think I would have been able to drive just fine. I think you would have driven off the bridge.

Tim:

No, I think I would. Just I don't think I would have gone home. I could have ended up at the casino.

Javier:

Local man kills 10 children.

Chad:

It's like when you just drank a little bit or you're super tired. You're like you drove fine, but you were so tired. You're like I don't really remember driving home. Correct Gotcha.

Tim:

Yeah, there's bits and pieces of like this little flashy like I remember being in the store.

Chad:

Yeah.

Tim:

And I remember walking through some of the aisles, but I don't really remember any interactions. It's fucking weird. That's awesome. Do you ever?

Javier:

worry that if you go under that, you're a racist. Do you ever like go in? You see those videos, what, that you're a racist? Do you ever like go in? You see those videos, what? You see those videos of people that are like they're a closeted racist?

Tim:

Yeah, I'm not racist, but you know sometimes somebody cuts me off and then it comes out like you get sedated and then you wake up and you're just saying the N word a bunch.

Javier:

Is that what you're saying? Yeah, and you're like I just ordered.

Tim:

I don't think it's truth serum dude, I've never had that problem. I did see. Do you ever get on TikTok and see clips of movies and stuff or shows?

Javier:

Yes.

Tim:

I saw one where this dude had to undergo a procedure. He was getting married and his friends thought it'd be funny to shave his beard while he was under. Oh no.

Chad:

And then he had swastikas tattooed and stuff. Oh, no.

Tim:

Yeah.

Tim:

What movie was this? I tattoo, oh, no, yeah, what movie was this.

Javier:

I don't know, it was a. I think it was a show. It was like some doctor show or something. It's like a 9-1-1 austin or something, something I don't know.

Chad:

Uh, let's see yeah that was my uh. Do you still have anything here like, or have you gotten through it all now?

Tim:

um, I think I got, I think I've gone through. I still have like half that, half the jar of the uh of the soup okay dude. I want to go back to trader joe's so bad just to get that soup.

Tim:

It was fucking good there's some random things and I hate going to trader joe's because it's like the parking's a nightmare and the place is always so packed it's like doesn't really matter what time of day, if you can go in the middle of the week and like, my surgery was like nine something in the morning, so let's say like 10 30.

Chad:

It wasn't that bad yeah well, like you go in there and you find all this shit that you can't get anywhere else and it's all like phenomenal. Like you just go through the freezer aisle like they have this thing. It's like um, mushroom risotto with um, not not oysters or clams or the other scallops, and it's supposed to be like a soup, but you just put it over like rice or something and it is to die for like these random little things that you would even consider being absolutely like amazing.

Chad:

But yeah, you know that's cool yeah, how are your teeth, or tooth, or lack thereof?

Tim:

it hurts tooth spot I have. Uh, I have some pain, you know occasionally. Yeah, but they were gonna give me hydrocodone. I was like no, I don't need it no, I'm a big boy.

Chad:

Yeah, I'm tough. I've got plenty of that, by the way man it's old it'll. It'll hit like a year later.

Javier:

Whenever you said they were doing a bone graft.

Tim:

Yeah, so they put bone dust in there. It's weird. It's like a granulated.

Chad:

It doesn't grow.

Tim:

It just hardens and creates like it just adheres to the jaw. Okay, it's like you want a new tooth, but I thought when you said that they then they put a post in and then they put a tooth on top of the post. I'm so stupid.

Javier:

I thought that that meant they cut this bone right here on your jaw. They cut it out and then closed it and I'm like, wait, does that mean your jaw is going to get smaller?

Tim:

So sometimes they do bone grafts where they remove a piece, like a piece of bone, from you yeah, yeah and this is just from a dead body oh for my understanding, it's cadaver cool cool, yeah, so they already have the uh, dead guy in my mouth, not not the first, not the first.

Javier:

Yeah, I sucked the dick of the dead john f kennedy, hey uh so did they already? Did they already put the thing in there like no, no, no, no.

Tim:

They'll come, I'll go May 8th. And if it's all healed up and looks good, then they'll put the post.

Javier:

If not.

Tim:

Then I got to wait.

Javier:

Cool. That shit's expensive.

Tim:

It's a long it really is, and I now believe that dental insurance should not even be a thing. Everything should just be under health insurance.

Chad:

Oh, yeah, I, oh, yeah, I agree it's too tightly tied together. Yeah, there's so much stuff Like.

Tim:

if you get like an abscess in your tooth, it can actually move down into your heart and cause pericarditis.

Chad:

Did you know that there's this new study that ties Alzheimer's and tooth issues. And like that's a real thing and I believe that there's a ton of stuff that we're not doing and taking care of our teeth that is causing, like serious issues later in life.

Tim:

Yeah.

Tim:

I agree.

Chad:

So okay, Quick question before we move on to Javier real quick. If, if, nevermind. No, no, no, no If before, like oral surgery, right, like say you know they did all this stuff. It was very, you know, maybe a little painful, whatever. Right, if they were to say, hey, just it'll go away. If you blew a guy, would you just do it? No, but it like you would be free.

Chad:

No you wouldn't have to do anything. Like the money is, it would just fix it. What if the tooth just re-grew and was beautiful, the most beautiful tooth you've ever seen?

Tim:

no, I mean, this was, this was easy.

Chad:

Yeah, but so would that be. I Don most beautiful tooth you've ever seen. No, I mean, this was, this was easy, yeah, but so would that be.

Javier:

I don't know, I don't know if it would be easy okay I'm just curious, blowing a guy might be difficult I mean, if it was a fifty thousand dollar surgery, yeah it would be. It would be difficult, right, because you're oh fuck, yeah, tooth hurts and then what if you get?

Chad:

but it wouldn't hurt the whole time. You know like, as soon as it's over, it's like new tooth.

Tim:

You're saying that whenever, whenever, uh, he finishes when he's done, you're done. It grows, oh yeah yeah, no, I don't know man, I'm glad I'm back.

Javier:

I'm just I'm back to the. Would you suck a dick for like half a million dollars and that's oh yeah, obviously duh, yeah, five hundred thousand dollars.

Tim:

How?

Chad:

many. What all right. How have you been? How are you? What's new?

Javier:

uh, you know, last night I went over to the uh footworth uh here at Fort Worth Mixer over at Crystal Springs. It was a good time, people I hadn't seen in a minute. Sydney was over there, so was Tom. It's been a minute since I've seen Sydney, so I was going to see her. I haven't seen her in a while either, and she was like oh you got long hair where you?

Javier:

been what you mean, and um tom, I think we saw tom last, uh at tulips um, yeah, or something for lou's show oh, yeah, yeah, it was for lou, yeah, yeah but I've seen them um him and his, his lady, uh over there a couple times and of course uh lou was there, ernie, uh joe um jesse, england was performing. Um who else um sean russell from uh um thank you, no, thank you from um cutthroat finches, so a lot of people were over there.

Javier:

Uh, doc, doc rock was over there, yeah, so it was really cool getting to see everybody. Um, but I wasn't there to really drink. And then I ran into that's when I started talking to ernie and lou and I was like, okay, I'm gonna have a beer and uh it was fun, but it's good seeing everybody.

Javier:

I I know, um, we really don't make it to a bunch of those, but I'd love to make more of those. I'd love to go see everybody that that I haven't really seen oh, pencey jones was there too, so we're gonna have him on soon for um a new album he's coming out with, uh, this summer that was one of the reasons why we switched over to Wednesdays.

Chad:

Right, so we'd be able to attend more of those, because it sucked that we were on the same day as those and JJTM, and so it's like, all right, let's do our own. This is our night now. But, then it just kind of fell apart.

Tim:

How do you normally eat Oreos? What's your go-to move? I eat half of it, and then I eat the other half after, so together, though you don't separate the pieces.

Chad:

Did you see what I just did with mine? I did, yeah, that was a whole thing, but like I think so you, javier went to qt and he got us the new post oreo, post malone oreos, and they're like a salted caramel mix. You got a chocolate cookie on one side and a vanilla on the other side and like this salted caramel swirl and noodle. I don't. I don't see the benefit of doing anything with this. It's already so much.

Javier:

True, there's so much going on. It's 2025. There's an excess there could be more. What did you do exactly? I took half, I took half. I split the cookie and I took half of the cream in one cookie and then I took the other half in the other the cream and I took half of the cream in one cookie and then I took the other half in the other. So I don't know why I did it, it just.

Tim:

I just I don't do that. I. I wanted to taste it all as one unit. I bet you did.

Javier:

Yeah, you probably do, and so I took a bite.

Tim:

I took a bite, but I typically separate okay and I sacrifice one. I eat the eat it without the icing because I want all the icing on the other. So I had to suffer for one, yeah, to get the goods on the other, do.

Javier:

So I had to suffer for one to get the goods on the other. Do you ever try to scoop the icing without breaking it by getting it all and just eating it first?

Tim:

No, because I don't want one, I'll do one dry cookie.

Tim:

Yeah.

Chad:

But I don't want two dry cookies Listen, I don't think that y'all are insane. Like if this was a normal Oreo. I am on board with either one. It's meant to be eaten together.

Javier:

Yeah, yeah, because you're supposed to have all the flavors in one bite. Yeah, so it's different.

Chad:

But I'm not opposed to what y'all are saying. I'm here for that.

Javier:

I just never thought about it. I mean, I used to try the thing that white people do, where they put the fork in the cookie and they dip it in the milk. That way they don't get their finger wet, don't bundle us together.

Tim:

It's white people, the fork situation, all these whites I've never done. The fork situation.

Chad:

Calm down, Karen.

Tim:

I dip mine in milk, but I've never done the whole.

Chad:

No, that was a TikTok thing. That's not a white person thing, that's a TikTok thing, bro.

Javier:

Case closed TikTok, it was like TikTok.

Tim:

Okay, which is a white people?

Chad:

thing, so before, double stuffed Oreos. When I was a kid I'm sure you know about getting double stuffed. We all like just try to see how tall we can get an oreo right like. That was something we all sure. So that is something I you know, definitely. But that's with you know. You're sacrificing a shit ton of cookies just to get that massive fucking two inch oreo, which we've talked about this before, you know.

Tim:

It's the same thing with the toaster strudels, where I would sacrifice one just so I could have extra frosting on the last one.

Javier:

Did any of you ever do you know? They had that kit for Oreo where it had the icing in the middle and the dry cookies on the sides where you're able to just scoop it.

Tim:

Those are Dunkaroos.

Javier:

No, no, no, it was an actual Oreo thing. It had the cookies on the ends and it had the icing in the middle.

Chad:

So that's like some dumb shit the chefs do. It's like a deconstructed Oreo. Yeah pretty much.

Tim:

I don't believe it.

Chad:

No, I'm good.

Tim:

That's not the way the good God intended, so that's all you had going on.

Tim:

Yeah, I mean that's it.

Javier:

We recorded two weeks ago, right.

Tim:

Was it two weeks ago? It was, and I'm going to apologize for not dropping an episode.

Javier:

Hey, so sorry we didn't have an episode. You're probably going to listen to this back to back, but hey, we're still getting those listens.

Tim:

Yeah, my dad had suffered a little minor, small little stroke. Oh, now I feel like a dick. It's okay, I'm kidding, we knew about this. Yeah, I yelled at him, I yelled at, so I'm going to tell you. If your loved ones have anything happen and they don't tell you until like multiple hours later, I think you have the right to be mad at them.

Tim:

So, I griped him out a little bit because it happened at 3 am. He woke up, the dogs woke him up, they need to go outside, or something. And he was stumbling around the house and he's just like, oh, I, they need to go outside, or something. And he was stumbling around the house and he just like, oh, I'm gonna go back to sleep. And then he wakes up at like 6 am and still doing the same thing, doesn't say anything to anybody until like four o'clock in the afternoon.

Javier:

so yeah, that's some shit my dad would do he's fine.

Chad:

He's fine, everything's good I think that we might all do that. Like you don't really know what's going on, you just assume it'll get better Like how often do we do that? How long was your tooth an issue before you sucked off that dude? I mean probably a very long time, no, it actually wasn't.

Tim:

The crown literally popped off.

Javier:

Hey look, man Dick to mouth. Tell us, like how long was that pain?

Tim:

going for His crown popped off, and then I popped off, he popped off, he popped off. He popped off In your mouth.

Javier:

He bricked in your mouth, in a mouth full of cum. Jesus Christ, stop it Just sucking that dick Just trying to get my tooth fixed. So that's what happened, yeah, but I'm glad your dad's okay.

Chad:

Yeah, everything's cool, but do better in the future. Right, we'll get back to it, am I right? We'll get back to it? Yeah, do better.

Tim:

All right, so we've gone on, because this is what happens when we don't spend that much time with each other. We have to catch up right, yeah, but I did come up with some topics that. I wanted to discuss, and the first one that I really wanted to dive into was Kanye meltdown. We did a whole episode on, basically, the rise and fall of kanye west yeah, which ironically, there was a book called the rise and fall of the third reich, and I feel like that's what we're seeing right now.

Javier:

Holy shit it's happening.

Tim:

Fucking.

Javier:

Kanye west right did you see the shirt sony made uh um, with him wearing a swastika shirt with like, uh like. You know the the sign that says no it says like no new nazis, new american nazis, from the something he was. He's probably like a teenager whenever he took this picture, but it's like him against nazis. That's full circles. Yeah, yeah, no, he's not go ahead.

Tim:

Sorry, sorry, all right. So we we kind of hit that right. Kanye's latest controversy includes releasing nazi inspired clothing, so he's got that website right, uh, where they sell his clothes yeah, yeezycom he pulled everything off that and just put a single shirt with a swastika this happened right after the super bowl, because he had a super bowl commercial.

Chad:

Right it was like go to yeezy. It was like what did him like it was actually funny full circle again he was getting like oral work or something, like he's at a dentist or something doing like a self video and he's like going to yeezy. And that was the commercial like he spent all this money to just do like a selfie video is that right?

Javier:

but like he, the next day he put that shirt he took everything off the store right and he had all the his merch and like some new colors of his, like new little slides or whatever he has um, and then the next day he has this shirt, so yeah, so he puts that up there, and that's it one thing one thing and he puts it for, like it's like 20 bucks everything on the store he had was for 20.

Javier:

Like I bought something like a month ago, yeah, and I'm like am, am I going to get that shit? Like am I going to get it.

Chad:

Dude he has yet again become one of the richest. Like you know, we say rise and fall, but he is on the rise again with this crazy shit which it makes no fucking sense.

Tim:

Yeah, so, yeah, so he does that and he goes on Twitter.

Chad:

So we saw the whole thing with his wife Showing thing with his, with his wife showing up on the red carpet with no clothes on. She had clothes on, but she barely.

Javier:

Yeah no it's like wearing saran wrap. Yeah, right, right, so we have that, which, okay, real quick, more power to her. Like I'm not here to tell you what to wear, right, like, whatever you know, free expression.

Chad:

But I digress, sorry it does feel creepy, though, right like that. He's wearing full dress, like completely covered. Sometimes he wears a mask and shit and then she's coming out in like sheer nothing. Yeah like it's weird, it's it's.

Tim:

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. But so he went out and said that he had this design like he was. Just he's been sitting on this the shirt basically forever, like he's. He made this like a couple years ago, but all the shit.

Chad:

He goes on this like crazy rant on Twitter Non-stop back to back, like old Kanye.

Tim:

Right, which tells me he's off his meds.

Javier:

Or on nitrous again.

Tim:

On nitrous again. I didn't know he was on nitrous to begin with, what Like whippets? Yeah, I didn't know that was his thing. So do you think he's getting that Galaxy Gas or what? Yeah, yeah, I didn't know that was his thing, so do you think he's? Getting that Galaxy Gas or what? Yeah, I think so have you seen that. No, so you could. It's called Galaxy Gas. You can get it in different flavors.

Chad:

It comes out of the Samsung Galaxy Big fucking. This episode brought to you by Samsung Get the new Galaxy, get a little high.

Tim:

It's got the. It comes in a big bottle, so make balloons with it. You can just get this big bottle and crack it. No shit, yeah, wow, so I didn't know he was on nitrous.

Tim:

So, yeah, that makes perfect sense. I don't, I don't, I don't know what to expect, I mean. So my question is okay. So he's continuing to make these pro hitler statements, which he said he's a nazi and all that stuff, which is weird, uh, and he's pushing this whole genius victim narrative, despite losing all his endorsements, like he is just, he's too smart for everybody, right? I'm this gene. He is extremely smart, which is, I think, also a detriment right, so what's the question?

Tim:

what's gonna happen next? So my question is, if we question, is we need to speculate his next moves? Okay, all right. So a couple that come to mind Running for office again Jesus.

Chad:

I hope not. I'm actually surprised he's not involved more with the Elon Trump situation.

Tim:

just to be honest with you, dude, I'm actually I think that they don't want him involved at all. I mean, come on.

Chad:

I mean why? Because additional bad publicity Like come on they thrive on bad publicity? At this point they do, but it's too much, so does he.

Tim:

It's too much at this point because you've got, you know, his Twitter. I could see him trying to start some sort of fucking cult.

Chad:

Okay.

Tim:

I could see Kanye starting the cult of yay or something I don't know.

Javier:

I mean, I don't know if y'all have gotten the text about Yeezy Financial. Have y'all gotten that?

Tim:

text. No, I don't subscribe to any of his stuff.

Javier:

I mean I don't know how I got it, but and I looked it up and it's a legit thing you've bought stuff off of uh yeah, so it's chad right so it's chad, yeah, but not on the yeezy.

Chad:

Well, yeah, I guess so, but it was long. It was just shoes years ago. So what's?

Javier:

he started his own bank um his own meme coin okay, okay, yeah, but you have to go through like a Coinbase type app. Let me see, let me pull it up Coinbase or crypto.

Tim:

I'll tell you here in a bit. So he starts his own. Okay, he starts YayCoin. I mean that makes sense, but is it going to be a rug pull situation?

Javier:

Well, yeah, because I think so, because he already said on the website 70% is for him, 30% is out to the market. This is the text I got Dear Yeezy customer in all caps, welcome to Yeezy Financial in all caps, your gateway to exclusive financial opportunities. And then you click it and then it takes you to a website where you're like, oh, they already took it down. They already took it down. Really Wow, bankofyeezycom, they already took it down Really.

Tim:

Wow, bankofyeezycom. It makes me. It's like you get that text message from somebody that you had an acquaintance of in high school or whatever. Like Garden State yeah, it's that whole Garden State situation. But that shit happens all the time. Where it's like, especially with these girls, it's all of a sudden like hey, do you want to be a boss, babe?

Tim:

And you're like, okay, what?

Tim:

multi-level marketing scheme you got, but that's how that feels. It feels very I don't know.

Javier:

Services On the group chat. I didn't know he had services Like. What kind of services, I don't know.

Chad:

So you actually have been buying his shit recently. Why are you still involved?

Javier:

it's 20 bucks and um, I'm gonna do anything for 20 bucks hey man, it's 20 dollars. It's 20 dollars uh, no, but then he came out with these like flippy, like house shoes that were 20 and I was like I was fine. I want to know how how many shirts he sold oh man, I want, I want to know that if they even went through, if those shirts went. No, I think they went through because it's all off of spotify his, his shopify, shopify.

Tim:

I mean, yeah, it's his page. So shopify shut it down and then they opened it back up okay, so we all know kanye and and how me personally.

Javier:

I know kanye right you met him we.

Chad:

Do you think that he's actually a Nazi or advocating for this, which you know? That's a whole other conversation. But do you think that this is real? I don't know, or do you think? It's the publicity that gets his name out there, because he doesn't give a fuck if it's good, bad or otherwise.

Tim:

I think it's mania from the Galaxy.

Javier:

yes, it's just mania. What do they say? Like? Genius and insanity are one and the same.

Chad:

Like they're one degree off.

Javier:

Yeah, between genius and insanity Sure.

Chad:

Do you think that video? I want to go back and watch that video again.

Javier:

Of him for the Zerual commercial.

Chad:

Yeah, because I wonder if, like what if he wasn't getting dental work? What if he was just at the dentist? Because actually, now that you say that, I feel like I've seen something where he had, like a relationship with a dentist or something like that it was a running partner feeding him that essentially right, it was his.

Javier:

Yeah, it was his running partner when he ran for president. His dentist was his running mate okay, didn't know that, yeah, shit so it's all. Who does he get his shit from? This is going to be a Michael Jackson situation, because his doctor would always give him propofol.

Chad:

Yeah, and I think it's going to be the same thing.

Tim:

Help him sleep yeah, damn, the same thing is going to you.

Javier:

look, you hate to see it because we grew up with Kanye. Right you know college dropout graduation all that shit, dude.

Tim:

it's fucking crazy. Like I'm surprised someone hasn't tried to take him out yet.

Javier:

I don't know man, look people that are getting upset and hating on him. I mean they get upset but they still listen to Michael Jackson or the remix to Ignition, you know.

Chad:

Right, I mean, and there's also this kind of like oh well, it's Kanye. There's also this kind of like oh well, it's Kanye. It's almost like we know he's this genius, or whatever.

Tim:

But we also think that he's just this kind of like it's just Kanye, yeah, weird kid that no one understands and so you just kind of like let him be himself.

Chad:

No, it's him, it's okay.

Tim:

You heard the whole story whenever Jamie Foxx first met him, right.

Chad:

No, I don't think so.

Tim:

So they're at this basically having a party. Kanye was there. Jamie had a studio. Kanye wanted to put some stuff down.

Tim:

Jamie did you know?

Tim:

whatever Gold digger. Yeah, kanye's just there with like a. He's got a backpack on him, he looks like just a little weird kid, but he goes to lay down the track or whatever and Jamie Foxx starts doing his own thing and kanye basically stops. He's like don't do that. Just tells him, just like that, don't do that. Right. And this kid at this point, like kanye, really isn't anywhere. He's right anything right, he's always been that weird, overly confident, weird person, that weird savant or whatever.

Chad:

Yeah.

Tim:

Yeah.

Chad:

If you want to call it that yeah.

Tim:

I don't know man, bizarre.

Chad:

Yeah, I couldn't believe, like I actually. So I didn't know about the shirt, but I heard about the Super Bowl commercial and I watched it and I was like well, that's really weird. And it's like easy calm. I was like I'll go check it out. I haven't seen that in a while. I remember you talking about those stock shoes or whatever the fuck they had for 20 bucks. I'm like I'll check it out and I click on it and it's one shirt and so like I saw it organically, like I didn't hear about it.

Javier:

I'm like what the fuck is happening. Oh yeah, lance text me and I was like what?

Tim:

the fuck is this?

Chad:

that's a, that's a fucking eye-opener right, yeah, I was like holy shit. And then you know, the news starts coming out and I see like a picture of him wearing the shirt and stuff like that. I'm like I'm out.

Tim:

This is, this is wild, yeah it's yeah, like he's been out out about like wearing it in public, which is fucking wild like I'm telling you, I don't I don't know, man it's.

Javier:

It comes to a point to where you're like how long is it going to be until you are finally like just done with you're going to wash your hands from it?

Tim:

yeah, like I'm kind of done with whatever you're putting I'm done. What am I?

Javier:

going to be done with it. I mean, I'm done with it. I'm done. I kind of am. Adidas is still. They have a little bit of stock left of what they have that they've got to get rid of. I'm not even going to try to buy it. There's no reason why am I going to keep giving money to this fucking guy, just like everybody with Tesla's their stocks. He lost $111 billion in a week.

Tim:

I can't support it anymore. Teslas have one of the most EVs. In general have one of the most depreciating car values of all time.

Tim:

Right.

Tim:

So if you want to get into EV, you might as well just buy a used.

Chad:

Even more volatile market than a normal stock or company or whatever.

Javier:

So future, in five years, where will Kanye be?

Tim:

I say dead, damn I say dead, you're saying five years, five years. I say dead, five years dead.

Javier:

And remember I predicted Luka going to the Lakers. You did. I don't think he'll be dead going to the Lakers, he did.

Tim:

I don't think he'll be dead. I think he'll be in a conservative ship.

Chad:

I don't know. I think that, unfortunately. I think that Javier might be right. Alternatively, what I would like to see is him wake the fuck up, Like, take actual drugs that help his mental well-being and his chemical imbalance and get back to. I don't even want to hear the music, I just want him to be a healthy, good person just yeah, like you're saying, I'd rather, I'd rather have no music, no media, I'm okay.

Javier:

No shoes, right him like, get well, enjoy his billions, enjoy his family I would love to hear some good stories about kanye.

Chad:

I would love to just one time hear about how Kanye, like you know, turned his shit around and like started helping people out. And like I'm not saying he doesn't help people and do his own thing, but I'm like, if that was what was in the news you know what I mean and I know the news has their own thing and they're always going to nitpick but if he was able to turn that around, that's what I would love to see. I would fucking love it. But I think what you said is more likely.

Javier:

I don't want it to happen. There will never be a conservative shit. I don't want it to happen.

Chad:

You don't think so. Before he lets that happen, that will happen.

Javier:

I guarantee it, I think he'll.

Chad:

Yeah, I'm telling you that's not going to happen. He's no Britney Spears. He's.

Javier:

Look, that's another whole thing that I wish you know.

Tim:

You see these people, we grew up with these artists, and now we're seeing kind of like a downfall, like those child stars and stuff like that. Yeah, where they're like.

Javier:

Corey Feldman is off the rockers, but you know who's not, who's doing really well for themselves.

Tim:

Who Me.

Javier:

Macaulay Culkin. Oh, fuck yeah, he was a.

Tim:

Macaulay Culkin is thriving.

Chad:

Yeah. I mean he looks fantastic, looks great. His brother's doing well. His wife is doing great, both of their wives are beautiful.

Tim:

Both his brothers are doing well.

Chad:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Tim:

Kieran and Rory. Both are killing it, macaulay's killing it. They're all doing great. That makes me happy. That agrees, because we saw Macaulay whenever he was.

Javier:

I was watching Richie Richie the day. I'm like this is a good movie. I forgot how good this was.

Chad:

It's on our list. We started watching Blank Check instead. We're like Blank Check first, then Richie.

Javier:

Richie Fucking Lady and Blank Check old pedophile ass. I know, I know.

Tim:

Call me in 10 years. So we just had the 2025 Oscars. Yes, I watched it. Conan O'Brien hosted. Yeah, main reason why I watched it I thought he was great. Some of his little snippets, his little one lines that he did in there were awesome. He did a little. Did you see the clip of him poking fun at Drake?

Chad:

Yes, the only clip I saw was him and Adam Sandler's back and forth, so they were like this he was halfway through the Oscars.

Tim:

He's like, ok, we're halfway through the Oscars. Okay, we're halfway through the oscars. It's about the time that kindred comes out and and uh, calls drake a pedophile, and he's like I'm lawyered up.

Javier:

It's okay, that was just like man and the guy who wrote the guy who wrote the joke tweeted I just made 50 bucks because I guess you know the writers.

Chad:

Yeah, yeah, it's I want to go. I'm sure it's out there to watch. I would like to watch it like there was a lot of good stuff that I felt come from, came from that.

Tim:

Oh, I saw the kieran colgan, you know acceptance thing too, I saw a couple of clips but I didn't get to watch yeah, so uh, we had that one, and then the whole uh thing between adam and uh and conan because, adam sandler comes out in his typical, like what he normally wears on the street hoodie, shorts, basketball shoes. Yeah, yeah, but what I loved was, as he's leaving, he walks up to with fingers and everything and then and then walks out. You know it was great.

Chad:

Uh, the headlines though they played it off as like so clickbait like conan called him out, yeah, yeah, but obviously he was miked up. It was all, yeah, right, it was all a thing, right, yeah all right, so I'm gonna go through some of the major wins.

Tim:

Okay.

Tim:

So best picture, Onora. Onora dominated the night.

Javier:

Have you all seen that? No, I haven't.

Chad:

Is it an international film?

Javier:

No, it's a Okay, it's a curated five.

Chad:

I only ask because there's so many Like over the years, I feel like there are things that I've never heard of that I had to go back and watch what was the one that was Parasite, Parasite. And that one was phenomenal.

Javier:

Mickey 17 is coming out in a couple weeks with Robert Pattinson and that looks really good. It looks fantastic. It looks great.

Tim:

So Nora had screened five Oscars, including Best Picture. Wow, all right. Best Director, sean Baker, for Nora Baker's initiatives, uh, innovative storytelling and direction were recognized what is it more about?

Javier:

it's about a uh escort who marries an old, dark, I'm in it's uh she doesn't get.

Tim:

She got the dancing down from what I've seen, better version of pretty woman yes, way better version there's nudity in there.

Javier:

Actually, you do get a little bit of nudity in pretty woman.

Chad:

We watched pretty woman not too long ago and I didn't realize how hot she was bro.

Javier:

Yes, I had no idea. I was telling tammy I'm like you know what she looked.

Chad:

She was america's sweetheart I never really saw that and you know, as I've aged and looked at her, I'm like no, she's pretty, did you?

Javier:

ever watch mystic pizza? That was her first movie. Mystic pizza is so fucking. I don't think so you should watch it's. It's a great movie Really. It's got a great cast too.

Tim:

It's got a killer cast. It's about a mystic pizza.

Javier:

I'm going to write that down. It's about a spooky, mystic pizza.

Tim:

It's about a pizza shop in Mystica, okay In the town of Mystica, anyways All right.

Chad:

Continue on Nora.

Tim:

So Mikey Madison, best there were two movies that she came out with where she died by getting torched on fire.

Javier:

Who, if you remember her well, in Once.

Tim:

Upon a Time in Hollywood, once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and then Scream 7. Scream 7,.

Javier:

Yeah, she was caught on fire in both movies. In both movies, I was just laughing.

Tim:

I'm like did they do this on purpose? They had to, so she won over fan favorite Demi Moore.

Javier:

Yeah, I thought she was going to win. I really did. But then, like here lately, because Mikey won the Baptist and so.

Chad:

I was like, oh, maybe, so what was Demi Moore in for?

Tim:

Because it wasn't substance oh. Ok.

Javier:

I got to watch that. You've got that one, though, right.

Tim:

I think it's on Hulu.

Chad:

It's on Hulu. Oh, is it okay? I need to check that one out uh best actor, adrian brody.

Tim:

Uh for the brutalist I gotta watch that, yeah, which I haven't seen that, yet I've got that on there, so brody's compelling performance earned him uh, the best actor accolade. Obviously, um zoe saldana boo best supporting actress. Why are we booing her? Because fuck her and fuck that amelia perez movie okay, so saldana's role in Amelia Perez garnered her the Best Supporting Actress Award. Why are we saying fuck that movie?

Chad:

Tell us more.

Javier:

So, essentially the director and everyone that made that movie is French and it's supposed to be a Mexican-involved story and they had nobody input. You know any Mexican? No Mexican representation in a Mexican movie yeah and Selena Gomez she by the way, if you go, look at the clips in that movie of her speaking Spanish, it's fucking trash. Like how dare you, selena Gomez, like go in with that fucking terrible acting, does she?

Tim:

still have a house here.

Tim:

No, she sold it, she's in LA with.

Chad:

Benny Blanco, I think with that fucking terrible acting Does she? Still have a house here. No, she sold it. She sold it. We should go egg it. No, she's in LA with Benny Blanco, I think.

Javier:

But what is it they talked to Zoe Saldana about, like the people of Mexico like are upset with the movie and she's like well, I'm against it. This is about how I feel, not what the people of Mexico. And I'm like, ooh bitch, you fucked up. And then, like now Allamex goes like fuck you.

Chad:

Got it.

Javier:

Don't come back to Marvel. Go under a rock Like huh, fuck that.

Tim:

Yeah, she did this whole acceptance speech, where she I mean, she was so happy.

Javier:

Look, shout out to her, for that speech was great, right, it was great.

Tim:

She, you know, first Dominican actor to win an award and all that stuff. Best supporting or best actress, best supporting actress, all right.

Javier:

Amelia Perez, by the way. She was asking. I do want to talk.

Tim:

I want to say that we did have Fort Worth's own Abraham Alexander got nominated for Best Original Song Like a Bird from Sing Sing, which I haven't seen Sing Sing, but the song is phenomenal.

Javier:

It looks beautiful.

Tim:

Unfortunately he was shafted. Yeah, I thought he was going to win.

Chad:

I will say he looked dapper as fuck.

Tim:

I will say that every single time that I've ever seen Abraham. Well, yeah, because, as a lot of people don't realize this, but he used to be the host. He used to host the basically.

Javier:

SoFar shows Right yeah.

Tim:

And so we saw him all the time.

Javier:

At Azusa's house At.

Tim:

Azusa's house. All the different SoFar shows that we went to. We saw Abraham there.

Chad:

I mean, yeah, he's a handsome dude. He's always dressed to impress.

Tim:

That's too impressed. But at the Oscars.

Chad:

He was just like top to bottom, looking fresh as hell.

Tim:

Abraham, if you see this, I have a painting that Guillermo Tapia painted of you in front of Ford's Black House.

Chad:

Right with the red car.

Tim:

Yeah, and it's hanging up on my wall. I need that sign.

Javier:

I need you to sign it, buddy, you should have been to uh sedan square two weeks ago, because he had a whole part yeah, whole party last wednesday.

Chad:

Yeah, yeah, yeah the part.

Tim:

The problem is like I don't carry that piece around man you know this will have it in my car, ready to go right um I did get you a signature for him, though.

Chad:

Yeah, you did.

Tim:

It's not on the painting, no, I just need on the painting um, anyways, um, I feel like he got shafted, but the award went to El Mal.

Javier:

Which was the-. Which was from Emilia Perez, so yeah, and that bitch was drunk when she went up there to accept the award.

Chad:

Man, you are just all about hating that movie, fuck that movie.

Javier:

Everyone hates that movie.

Chad:

Except for all the fucking idiots. Wait, is she?

Javier:

I think I heard something about like, did she do some kind of like? Did she sing during the oscars at all? Yeah, she did, and it was like not great. Yeah, or I'm like I was like shut up. As a matter of fact, while she was singing I was. I was like shut up, bitch and tames, like why'd you say that? I'm like she's, she knows why.

Chad:

She knows why no, I, I thought I heard something about like it was like all kind of on the spot and it was just like not great.

Javier:

She was drunk. She was drunk Okay.

Tim:

Gotcha.

Javier:

But all around the Oscars. I think I found it entertaining. It's always fun.

Tim:

I mean, I didn't watch the whole Oscars, but I saw a lot of the clips, so notable moments. Carla Sofia Gascon, is that say that right? Moments, uh, carla sofia gascon, is that say that right? Yeah, um, response to conan o'brien's joke, which I've got that, um, let me. Let me pull this up, because I haven't actually heard this yet so conan did a great job then, huh he did he did an instructional job.

Javier:

Dude is fucking uh, nick offerman, uh was doing the um voice of god.

Tim:

He was announcing he was the fucking he's got a great voice for that. I get it All right if I get to pull up.

Chad:

What's up, J-Boy? See you in the chat.

Tim:

It's running real slow over here, all good.

Chad:

Yeah, I guess I need to go back and see it. I'm not really someone that there's so many different award shows for all of these famous rich people that I'm just like.

Javier:

I'm good. Well, this is like from January up until now. This is the last of the award. It's award season.

Chad:

There's like Emmys, golden Globes, then there's Oscars, grammys. There's the Grammys and the music ones, and TV shows, movies. What are the Tonys?

Javier:

for.

Tim:

Tonys are for Broadway, broadway. Okay, I couldn't remember if it can get this to work.

Javier:

Yeah, Anora, I think Anora won all their awards, right.

Tim:

Yeah, Anora pretty much.

Javier:

Best picture, best director, best editing, best actress. I'm not going to get to work, that's all good, that's all good.

Tim:

What were we talking about? We were just talking about notable moments, one of the things Okay. So biggest wins and snubs. So Enora's dominance with the five Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Director. Mikey Madsen's unexpected win over Demi Moore for Best Actress. Adrian Brody, recognition as Best Actor for the Brutalist Now celebratingander's achievements and receiving a nomination for best original song, that's amazing.

Tim:

It's so cool. Yeah, he doesn't have that much uh on tiktok. His presence is not that high and he interacts with a lot of people who comment on there. So if you want to get in and start talking.

Chad:

You know to him, it's funny because he's still so down to earth and like on social media. He's not like he didn't have as big of a following as he deserves, right, but he's not as active as I think he he's busy, he's a busy fucking man.

Chad:

I'm not saying anything against him, but I'm like if he was to get someone to manage his social media, he would be known for as good as he is, because we know he's amazing, yeah, because we're local to that. But like I don't know if everyone knows right and I wish did.

Tim:

And this is what's really cool is that we've had, we've got now. So Leon Bridges, superstardom right.

Chad:

Right.

Tim:

We've got Abraham Alexander now nominated for a fucking Grammy.

Chad:

And don't forget Kelly Clarkson. You know what I mean. You've got to Dude she is a dime. She's still a dime.

Tim:

DFW. Yeah, that's Burleson.

Chad:

I mean, it's Fort Worth.

Tim:

But I'm saying Fort Worth.

Chad:

Fort Worth, adjacent Burleson's Fort Worth, it's fucking Burleson, burleson's Fort.

Tim:

Worth Anyways. So that's amazing, and I'm just waiting for some of our local talent to blast off. Yeah, oh, I mean Louis the Singer.

Chad:

Yeah.

Tim:

Yeah, I mean's just a matter of time till we have someone else, I mean there. I think it helps when we have these, these people kind of shoot off in the stardom right. Mm-hmm, I think we're, I think we're, I think we're there now. I do have a question, though. So the ceremonies impact on mainstream audience, audiences versus industry insiders do you think that these have like an actual impact on how us and how we see these actors, or do you think that these have like an actual impact on how us and how we see these actors, or do you think it's all just kind of like a pat on the back?

Javier:

I think it gets you to watch movies I think, you question like well, I didn't see this. Like this won awards, like maybe I should give it a shot and watch it right instead of people that don't watch awards show, season, um, and they hear about the movie but they never actually hear about it, like how good it actually is, like how many years it'll take you to like watch it after it's come out, like for me, like it's introduced me to a lot of movies and um I don't even know about the brutalist.

Javier:

Yeah, I mean dude and that's that movie has, it's like so long it has an intermission, like right in the middle of the movie.

Tim:

Are you serious? Yeah, oh, wow, and I don't know if you've ever like whenever I was young Master and Commander, I think, did they have an intermission.

Chad:

I want to say that Titanic did too in actual theater. No.

Javier:

Well, because I saw it over here, where the first movie tavern was.

Tim:

Yeah.

Javier:

And it was straight through.

Tim:

I remember going to Master and Commander or something. They had a fucking intermission and I was like this is the longest movie.

Javier:

Like every movie I used to go whenever I was in Mexico for the summers and I'd go to the movies.

Tim:

They would have an intermission and we'd go get food, popcorn Okay, it gets you to watch movies. Now, if they took into account public opinion, do you think these would be much different wins?

Chad:

Probably do you think these would be a you know much different wins, or probably we're not. The normal people don't know the art of what it is that it takes to do the things that they do but it also feels kind of pretentious they got a new artist movie over there for the awards it is, you're exactly right, uh and and it, but it's not about entertainment.

Chad:

It's about, like, quality of acting and quality of, you know, movie and sound and music and everything like that. Like if it was up to me fucking uh, what's his face? That does all of the like inception and he's done so many movies? Yeah, but who's the guy that does the music? I forget his name. You know it hon zimmer, hon zimmer. He would win every award. That dude is like elfman made all the movies.

Javier:

Are we the guy who did the Good, the Bad, the Ugly, the soundtrack for all those movies, all the spaghetti westerns? Oh, yeah. He just got his first one, and then he died a year later.

Tim:

He was like in his 90s, trent Reznor of Nine Inch.

Javier:

Nails oh fuck yeah, is killing it department.

Chad:

Oh yeah, he did uh, him and atticus ross. Well, because he's married to atticus ross's sister.

Javier:

But um, I didn't realize yeah, they're like yeah, but uh, yeah, they, they, they did the social network. You know um pretty much any movie that you see aaron sorkin in they did yeah like the girl, the dragon with the dragon tattoo and some of the even some of the newer stuff.

Tim:

Yeah, I'm here for all right.

Chad:

Was there any movies that we would know that won?

Tim:

I didn't dive that far into it yet.

Javier:

You mean actual yeah?

Chad:

like movies or actors in movies I saw Inside.

Tim:

Out. 2. American Pie was nominated for.

Chad:

Best Featured Film of All Time. What did Kieran Culkin win for? Oh, A Real Pain. Yeah, have you seen that yet, yeah, we saw A Real Pain With the brothers right. Yeah, yeah.

Javier:

No that was great Fucking killer Cousins. Have you heard about the story behind that?

Chad:

No.

Tim:

It's a true story? No, no, no.

Javier:

I'm talking about the story behind how Kieran got that role.

Tim:

Oh, wasn't it recommended. Well, he did. But Jesse Eisenberg didn't really know Kieran, he was just like he was told. Hey, you should pick him out.

Chad:

Jesse Eisenberg directed it right, wrote and directed it and acted it Right yeah.

Tim:

And he just randomly picked Kieran and Kieran's like I don't know if I want to do this, he drops out. And then he was like no, you probably should do this.

Chad:

Yeah.

Tim:

And so he gets back into it. But it was just like a completely at random, like they didn't really know each other.

Chad:

It was man, it's beautiful and that kind of shit happened, you know. I mean you kind of fall into something and it just turns into something.

Tim:

It is such a good fucking movie.

Chad:

I actually I want to watch it again I I'm still indifferent, like I do think that the acting was really good in that movie. I still feel uncomfortable about, like you know you kind of want to like we've talked about it on here like you want to like one of them, but they both have their quirks and you're like you don't understand the dynamic fully, and I mean I guess it's real life, right like that's family, you're never going to be right or wrong.

Chad:

who's doing what? Like? It's just kind of it is what it is, and so I guess that's the beauty of it, but it was great.

Tim:

Yeah, they're both not great people and they're both not terrible people, it's just yeah.

Chad:

They annoy you at different parts of the movie. Right right, Like it's like oh, I'm on board with him. Wait, never mind. He seems to make more sense at the moment.

Tim:

Yeah, I loved it though.

Chad:

Yeah.

Tim:

It was, so I actually have a game for us we haven't done a game in a while. We haven't done games in a very long time so this game is called fact or bullshit. Alright, so it's pretty simple. I'm gonna read something out. I'm gonna read something out and I want y'all to tell me if it's a fact or if it's bullshit. So we're gonna start. We'll start off with number one. A town in Kentucky elected a dog as mayor.

Tim:

Fact.

Tim:

I'm going to say true, okay. According to CNN, the small town of Rabbit Hash, kentucky, has been electing canine mayors since 1998. Their most recent mayor, a French bulldog named Wilbur, won in 2020.

Javier:

Is Wilbur the best boy?

Tim:

Wilbur is the best boy for currently, right now.

Javier:

Good good.

Tim:

All right. Saturn's rings will disappear from view in 2025 due to Earth's changing perspective Bullshit.

Tim:

Bullshit.

Tim:

No, it's actually a fact. According to Forbes, on March 23rd 2025, Saturn's rings will appear edge on from Earth's perspective, making them nearly invisible.

Chad:

Oh, I see. So it's going to be hitting us like.

Tim:

Like basically straight onto where you the line yeah, got it. Oh, okay, interesting, that makes sense.

Chad:

So it's not gone, it's just visibly gone, okay.

Tim:

So in Momentarily, yeah. In 2018, japan introduced a stress relief vending machine that lets customers punch a robotic arm for five minutes after inserting a coin.

Chad:

Listen, that is very Japanese. But we just had two truths. I'm going to say bullshit.

Tim:

That sounds very Japanese. That is very fucking Japanese. We're not going to write. That's bullshit.

Chad:

It should be real, though, dude. Japan has actually done this whole, like they have a whole movement going on right now about combating loneliness. Have you heard about this? It doesn't surprise me. There's this, this, and it's like worldwide, like there is after covid and all of this stuff, and like trying to like reintegrate yourself into like life, and, like you know, there's less people getting married and coupled up and things like that, like there's just more lonely people, and so they're trying to find ways to combat loneliness. In japan, I heard they're starting to make um breeding visas because you know the population is so low.

Javier:

They want people from other countries to come. I heard they're starting to make breeding visas because you know the population is so low. They want people from other countries to come, like no, they're not.

Chad:

That's bullshit.

Javier:

Look it up. Look it up.

Chad:

Look it up, hey Sarish, I'm going to Tokyo for just a little bit, I'll be.

Javier:

I'm going to go to Tokyo for two weeks.

Tim:

Impregnate a bunch of people in two weeks have like a hundred kids Shit.

Chad:

I'm just doing the world a favor.

Tim:

I thought it was strange that it's not uncommon to walk around and you'll find businessmen just passed out on the street.

Javier:

Yeah.

Chad:

Fucking drunk.

Tim:

Crazy that's insane Off of like two beers.

Tim:

An Indian man sued a movie theater chain for showing too many commercials before a film and won over $200 in compensation.

Tim:

Fact.

Tim:

According to UPI, a man in India was awarded compensation after suing a theater chain over excessive pre-movie advertisements. In 2021, an Italian scientist accidentally created glow-in-the-dark pasta while trying to invent a more energy-efficient LED light bulb.

Javier:

That's so bullshit, man. That's just racist and funny Bullshit. It's actually a fact. No, that's bullshit man.

Tim:

That's just racist and funny Bullshit. It's actually a fact. No, that's bullshit. Fuck. A man once attempted to evade police by covering himself in peanut butter and claiming to be a rare endangered species to avoid arrest.

Javier:

Yes, I say it's true. He was probably drunk and high off his rocker.

Chad:

I'm going to say true, yeah, I'm going to. That sounds.

Tim:

It's bullshit. Damn. It's never happened, but it should and let's see, I'm an eagle.

Tim:

I've got one more for you.

Tim:

One more for you.

Tim:

Okay.

Tim:

The US government once spent $2.5 million in studying whether cows should be trained as service animals for visually impaired individuals. True when.

Javier:

I say true.

Tim:

The statement is entirely fabricated, oh damn dude. It would be really cool to see a bunch of like the. Have you seen the Scottish Highland cows?

Chad:

Is it those cute cows? Yes, yeah, the old furry ones and their little small ones, like some miniature ones.

Tim:

Yeah, yeah, have you got some miniature ones that are seeing eye cows?

Chad:

Oh, sign me up. Who needs a dog? You know what I mean. I would get one of the I don't know man.

Tim:

I would pluck my eyes out for that. You don't got to do that.

Chad:

Let me ask you a question.

Tim:

If I knew a guy named Tony, no, all right, so that was a fact or bullshit. Eh, it was all right, that was fun, that was good man. I like that. I do want to end because, we're getting close to? Yeah, we're about run Done, so I want to end with a. We're going to have a rotating game, okay, so it'll be a different game next episode and a different ending segment, and this ending segment happens to be Florida man of the Week.

Tim:

Ooh.

Tim:

And it is kind of a game in a sense. Okay, so I'm going to give you a vague headline and then I'm going to ask you some questions. Okay, all right. So Florida man arrested after swallowing stolen jewelry. Okay, is this a factual story? This is a factual story. Okay, got it All right, all right. So first question what kind of jewelry?

Chad:

I'm going to say pinky rings.

Tim:

Pinky rings Plural Multiple pinky rings. Pinky rings Plural Multiple pinky rings.

Chad:

Yeah, like he just grabbed a handful of pinky rings Grabbed a handful of pinky rings, swallowed them.

Javier:

Hoes, I'm going to say diamonds, loose diamonds.

Chad:

Loose diamonds Okay.

Tim:

That's smart.

Tim:

So how did he steal it.

Chad:

Rectally.

Tim:

He swallowed them, though we do know he swallowed them.

Chad:

Oh sorry, I'm just my bad.

Tim:

How did he swallow? He swallowed stolen jewelry, so how did he steal it though?

Chad:

I mean he stole it by swallowing it.

Tim:

What do you mean? So he just stole it by swallowing? Ok, he didn't?

Chad:

I mean, you're just asking me to add more to what he probably OK. So I think that this man was at a beach town where they sell pinky rings primarily Right, it might have been a pinky rings RS, we've all seen them, sure, and he dipped his ice cream Like he had ice cream, as people do around.

Tim:

Okay, so wait, he's walking around like surfside.

Chad:

Yeah, he's walking surfside, so you got a good visual. He's got a cone with two scoops in this bitch right Like he's going, but it's also hot, like this bitch right like he's going, but it's also hot like this is it's a hot town, it's it's on the beach, right on the beach. So it starts melting. He starts going at it and he's like I don't know what to do. And then he had this fucking genius idea that he was just gonna like accidentally dip his ice cream into a pile of pinky toe rings okay and so he just does that, and then toe rings oh pinky toe rings.

Chad:

Sorry, just yeah, to make sure. And he dips it in there and then just goes at it with the ice cream before anyone notices.

Tim:

All right. So how did he steal it?

Javier:

He broke it with his head and he just it's Florida.

Tim:

Man Broke the display case and just and then just started eating them.

Javier:

He jumped in the ocean, all right.

Tim:

That's actually a lot more likely.

Tim:

So the question is so why did he swallow it? He was afraid that he'd get caught.

Chad:

Okay, so he's afraid he had to make him disappear.

Tim:

All right, make him disappear.

Javier:

I mean it takes a couple hours. I mean it ain't like corn. I mean diamonds will blend in with that. Hoe, what?

Tim:

Yeah.

Javier:

You're going to poop them out. You're not just going to throw them up, you're just going to poop them out.

Chad:

Poop out diamonds. All right, Make your duty Twink.

Tim:

Yeah, yeah, jathan, lawrence Gilder Jathan.

Chad:

Jathan. Of course his fucking name is Jathan. Is it a lisp?

Javier:

What's your name, Jathan?

Tim:

Could you imagine if he had a lisp and they just named him?

Tim:

Jathan what's your name, jayden? What do you want to name your son, jayden, 32 um.

Chad:

Impersonated an orlando magic team representative oh to steal diamond earrings worth 769 000 from tiffany and company from a basketball player, or what no?

Tim:

so he impersonated he was. He basically walked into the store. He's like I. I represent the Orlando Magic team.

Chad:

Yeah.

Tim:

And I'm here to inquire about some jewelry for the team. And he stole, tipped it to steal $769,000 in diamond earrings or just earrings from Tiffany Co. So after being caught, he swallowed the earrings to try and hide them from tiffany co. Um. So after being caught, he swallowed the earrings to try and hide them. So a body scan at the jail revealed uh, that the stolen jewelry was in his stomach. He had a long criminal history and previously attempted a similar theft in texas was he?

Javier:

was he wearing like now? What was he wearing, though? Was he wearing like just a orlando magic jersey and shorts, and I like to imagine that he was wearing an old Shaq jersey, an O'Neal jersey.

Tim:

That's exactly what I was thinking, super fucking old he walks in with that. He's got that on, he's carrying a briefcase and he's got suit pants on.

Chad:

Yeah, okay, he's a professional.

Tim:

Yeah, he's just showing like I'm with the team. He's got those tearaway pants, but he's got some.

Tim:

His shoes are.

Chad:

Reebok pumps.

Tim:

Yeah, oh, my God, yeah. So he's got those, he's got the Shaq attacks on Walks in there and he's like I'm with the Orlando Magic and I do business for them because I'm a business man Right. Yeah, so that's what I picture. So I can't imagine trying. I mean, I can imagine swallowing earrings. They're small.

Tim:

Yeah.

Tim:

I can't imagine $769,000 earrings though.

Javier:

I mean they got to be highly a big carrot right Like the carrots.

Tim:

It would have to be like blood diamonds, maybe, probably.

Chad:

I don't know how big that would have to be.

Tim:

If it were $769,000,.

Chad:

It'd have to be something like four or five carat earrings, but that's massive. There had to have been more to them. They were like dangly earrings. They probably weren't studs, you're right right right. They probably were like dangly earrings.

Tim:

I mean it's Tiffany. So then the logic comes.

Chad:

Yeah, it could be anything, because Tiffany's just fucking expensive earrings like who are you buying these for?

Tim:

for the team? Right you know, and it's one of the mistresses right um, so what's the worst possible thing to swallow and hide from the police a big deal, though I don't why are you hiding that?

Javier:

I mean why not, I would show it off, why not?

Tim:

I just want to put it in somewhere I just swallowed, sir, because I wanted to. I think the best thing to hide from the police by swallowing is food yeah.

Chad:

I mean that's pretty obvious. I don't know why you'd want to.

Tim:

You're stealing some Japanese A5 Wagyu steak.

Chad:

You're not really stealing it, You're just eating it. There's a difference between stealing and just consuming. You know that right.

Tim:

I mean, it's still theft If you didn't pay for it, but you're not saving it for later, Like it's gone. That's like the best thing to swallow and you know, steal Because it's hard.

Chad:

There's nothing they can do about it.

Tim:

Right, because it's going to process.

Javier:

You can't sell it like this. If I throw it back up, what are you going to do, you? Why'd you eat it like a duck, sir? Just a Wagyu filet. A5 Wagyu filet.

Tim:

Right, I want to buy one of those at some point.

Javier:

Oh yeah.

Tim:

All right. My last thing, though, is why does Florida keep outdoing itself every week, bro? There's got to be something up with Florida.

Chad:

You know what's wild. Florida is where some of the wealthiest people on this planet live. Mar-a-lago is where some of the wealthiest people on this planet live Mar-a-Lago, but it's also the same place where people wrestle alligators because they're just too drunk. It is just the most ridiculous state.

Tim:

It is.

Chad:

And it's also a place where old people go to die. It's a place that you go to vacation.

Tim:

It is everything and nothing. There's a loofah community, excuse me, okay. Have you heard about that?

Chad:

No.

Tim:

There's a community there where they put different colored loofahs on their car to indicate what type of swinger they are, and it's an over 65 community.

Javier:

Cool, cool.

Tim:

And so different colors mean different things.

Javier:

My favorite category of porn.

Chad:

Let me ask you if you were a 65 year old widower, is that something you'd be?

Javier:

interested in? Yeah, I mean, why even fight like trying to find someone? Right, you're old, it's like, do you?

Chad:

really want someone for the last bit of your life, or do you just want to, like, fucking get in and have fun?

Javier:

that's why like stds are like rampant in like the retirement home community yeah well, I think I had a conversation with Tammy about this. Everybody I think I'm pretty sure everyone in nursing homes have herpes or clit.

Tim:

STDs run rampant in nursing homes. They fuck.

Javier:

For sure you got nothing else to lose. You really don't, you're not getting pregnant Just two bunches of spam slapping uglies, so much skin.

Chad:

I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It sounded like Velcro, you know what I mean, like just the skin coming apart.

Javier:

It's like when you get like sweaty skin and you pull it off. It's like whenever you sweat and you have like bug spray on and then you're just peeling stuff off your skin. That's what it's like with old people. But are you a swinger without a wife?

Tim:

Well, no, you just become a bull at that point. I think, isn't that what it is? Thank you, I like that.

Javier:

They had some of the young calf, but now they want some of the old bull. Who's it Step?

Tim:

brothers Young buck.

Tim:

Young buck, old bull, which makes no sense.

Chad:

Yeah, old bull, yeah, which makes no sense. Yeah, um, that's hilarious, so that's good shit, tim. That's it.

Tim:

I enjoyed that man, great job putting that together. That's it. That's it, that's all good. So, uh, closing thoughts. Anybody got closing thoughts, we got closing thoughts on this not on florida man I mean just in general. I I think, uh, I don't know if we should put some sort of a poll up or start doing some sort of lottery thing where, like an over-under on when Kanye is going to expire. No, I don't want to do that, no, no.

Tim:

That's too morbid. I don't want to be involved in that All right.

Chad:

That's like those polls that you can't do in the US. But what is it? The betting app where you can basically bet on anything like which president was going to win and if it's going to rain outside.

Javier:

Oh, like prop bets.

Chad:

Yeah, like that. Yeah, I don't want to do that, that's too fucked. I'm okay, but five years, five years, all right, we're saying five years.

Javier:

I said five years. That's what.

Chad:

Javier said. So I'm just thinking what Javier said.

Javier:

I hope not just to be clear.

Tim:

I hope I'm wrong no, you might be wrong. Well, that's all I got. So you got anything else? No, javier read more books.

Javier:

I just finished one, you know, and it was really good. What was it? I think it's called the.

Tim:

I think it's called he didn't read.

Javier:

I had an audio book.

Chad:

I don't read what the fuck are you talking about?

Tim:

Listen, there's nothing wrong with audio books?

Chad:

I recently discovered audio books.

Tim:

There's nothing wrong with audio books. I'm just saying, like he's like yeah read more books and he's like, and then Star Wars, I think it's called.

Javier:

It's called the Mountain, is you?

Chad:

So you should check it out.

Javier:

Yeah, I'll check that out, uh, another good one for you shoe dog, one of the best. Oh yeah, yeah, it's really good, fucking love it.

Chad:

No idea, yeah, for like, who you know started nike, or? Whatever like his life story and the transition between, like how he became from nothing to what he. You know what it is now what?

Tim:

nike the brand is that biopic no, they have the um theyopic?

Javier:

No, they had the one with Michael Jordan's mom, with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon Did it ever come out?

Chad:

Yeah, it did. It was really good. It was specifically about that shoe, though it wasn't about Nike as a brand.

Javier:

Yeah, but I had no idea that he moved to Hawaii to surf and he sold knives.

Chad:

Yeah, so cool, just to earn enough to surf. And he sold knives.

Javier:

Yeah, you know just to earn enough to surf and eat. That's the only reason why he, like, went to go knife selling.

Chad:

I've got some other ones for you. I'll tell you after the show, there's some really good ones.

Javier:

Oh, Atomic Habits is a good one. I've got that book Check that out. Atomic Habits.

Chad:

Rich Dad, poor Dad, it's kind of along a self-help, but it's like. It's about like money management, development, things like that. Shout out to jd. He gave me the physical book and I want to say it was like a year or two ago yeah and I, I just, I just it's just there physically. I've never opened and I love him and I finally listened to the, the audio book, and I'm glad that I did because it was amazing. But but yeah, I just don't read.

Javier:

It's just inconvenient. It's not inconvenient.

Chad:

I mean, I'm driving two to three hours a day. Might as well, listen to it. You know what I mean, for sure, for sure.

Javier:

Tim, how about you? What do you got? Any final thoughts?

Tim:

Man, I'm just no.

Chad:

I just want to go to sleep. I'm with you. Thanks for putting this episode together. Shout out to Tim, we're going to get some momentum going.

Tim:

We've already shouted out we're going to have Ben C Jones. He's got a new song coming out.

Tim:

New album coming out.

Tim:

So we're going to have him on at some point In the near future. He wants to play a song for us. He wants to perform here in the studio so we might clear some stuff out and have a little.

Chad:

And for all of those that have messaged us on Instagram Javier's going to be getting back with you soon, oh, yeah. Because he's going to manage our social media. Moving forward, he said he can't wait. Actually.

Javier:

I can't. No, I can't wait.

Chad:

I just can't, I really want to get back to 2000, 2020, 2020, funky Panther. I'm going to actually put Instagram on my sidekick and then get back to it.

Javier:

I'm going to buy a sidekick and I'm going to buy a prepaid account and you're going to see me walking. What the fuck is that guy using? Why has he got? A calculator in his hands.

Tim:

It's going to end up being like that music video where it's the Excel spreadsheet oh yeah yeah, what was that?

Javier:

Nelly and Kelly Rowland? Yeah, that's it. That's why he didn't get the text, because you were on Excel. You're on Excel, you dumbass.

Chad:

All right, everybody. Thanks for hanging out with us. If you don't already do so, please make sure you follow us on all things social media at the funky panther. You can find all of our things at the funky panthercom. Our youtube continues to grow, so if you don't already do so, please make sure you subscribe to our youtube channel. It would go a long way. We're still trying to make that happen and and continue to grow, so appreciate you. Um, call us text, leave a voicemail 817-677-0408. Damn, you nailed it.

Javier:

Last week you were in my a I know, I don't know, I had a brain fart killed it well done.

Chad:

Um, yeah, that's it.

Javier:

Stay good, everybody, I'm chad I'm and we are the funky better bye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Javier

Host
Head Shot

Chad

Co-host
Head Shot

Tim

Co-host

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