The Funky Panther
The Funky Panther podcast: Chad, Javier, and Tim deliver high-energy, hilarious banter with random commentary, raunchy humor, and featured guests. Join the fun for an hour-long show that takes you on a refreshing, informative journey through the colorful world of music, news, arts, and entertainment.
The Funky Panther
"Dead Popes, Chinese Snacks, and Daddy Issues: The Dysfunctional Reunion You Didn’t Know You Needed"
They vanished for two months—and no, they weren’t in rehab (probably). But now the boys are BACK, and chaos reigns supreme in Episode 197 of The Funky Panther. Think less "warm reunion" and more "group therapy session with snacks and sarcasm."
Chad and Tim crawl out from their academic hellholes to humblebrag about finals, while Javier dives into the emotional minefield of health woes, family drama, and the eternal quest for a ‘Good Job, Son’ from a dad who thinks feelings are for communists.
Just when you think it can’t get weirder, a random 17-year-old named Maddox calls in live to ask if Eminem is still relevant—and shocker, we actually had thoughts. Cue the hot takes and hip-hop nostalgia.
Then comes the real test of friendship: Chinese snacks. Spicy konjac strips? Hawthorne fruit bars? Sounds cute until your taste buds file a formal complaint. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you might even order a mystery snack box out of morbid curiosity.
We sprinkle in sports rants, rage against scalpers, and finish with a necro-courtroom drama starring a medieval pope who literally dug up a corpse to win an argument.
This isn’t just a podcast—it’s a barely contained meltdown wrapped in nostalgia and dipped in absurdity. #DeadPopesAndKonjac #PodcastChaos #EmotionalDamage #HipHopHotTakes #SnackAttackShowdown
Fake ad
Fake ad
Fake ad
CALL OR TEXT OUR HOTLINE AND LEAVE US A MESSAGE! 817-677-0408
Fort Worth Magazine
Best of 2022 - Radio Personality/Podcast (Reader's Pick)
Show Links
The Funky Panther
Merch
YouTube
Why are we fucking dudes today?
Chad:I mean no Because you keep saying crank, and you got it in our heads.
Tim:Dude, sometimes you gotta crank your motherfucking hog. I'm gonna put a song on real quick. I can't wait. I'm looking forward to it.
Chad:A decent amount of silver and copper.
Tim:I have a decent amount of silver frankincense and myrrh. This song is called Absolutely Cranky, my Motherfucking Hog. This is probably one of my favorite bands right now. I fucking love this band so much. It's Bill Murray. You went to go see him a couple times, yeah.
Maddox:Yeah, I've seen him a couple times.
Tim:Yeah, they're going to be at ACL. Yeah, are y'all going Hell, no, I'm not a fan of this lineup.
Chad:I, they're going to be at ACL yeah.
Tim:Yeah, are you all going?
Javier:Hell. No, I'm not a fan of this lineup. I think I would like to see Sabrina Carpenter.
Tim:I actually am more of a fan of this lineup than I was last year, really, yeah.
Javier:Who else? I don't know. Man Like the Strokes. I'd love to see the strokes bill.
Tim:Bill murray just played at um rockville dude, the. I'm actually time's up.
Javier:We should have gone to rockville what do you uh think about the strokes?
Tim:I like the strokes.
Javier:Yeah, stroking this dick, you fucking bitch. Yeah, I like the stroke. I like the stroke too.
Chad:Stroke this hog oh god, here we go. You were doing so good. As soon as we were like, let's go live, where he turned into javier I gotta find my little get in here.
Chad:We gotta start the show. We gotta start the show. Oh, hello everyone, and welcome to the Funky Panther coming to you from Fort Worth Texas. We have got a hell of a show for you here on episode 197. It's been a little bit since your boys have been back together, but we're here. All three of us are here in the studio together. It's been like two months actually.
Javier:It's been two months since we've all been.
Tim:That's what I just said. It's been hey look, it's been two months since we've all been together, two months since you looked at me, so sit back, relax, try to enjoy.
Chad:Let's get into it. I'm Chad. I'm Javier.
Javier:I'm Tim and we are the Bucky Panthers.
Tim:I'm disappointed.
Javier:What's up with that? I'm just looking at that brown panther on the couch.
Chad:All right, so I have to explain what I. It should cover up the spot that you made on the table. Put it on the table, everyone can see it. It's been a wet spot for fucking months.
Javier:It's not actually wet, though, but it looks. We need to just coat the entire table with it, so then it'll be like a like a stain or something all right.
Tim:So I had to set the brown panther up there to put my phone up there, because I had your boy had to take a proctored exam. Oh, yeah yeah, and a prostate exam with my own camera, yeah, no, so I had to do a proctored exam and they had to, so I had to put the phone up there, because they use Google. They use like a Google Meets thing to watch you take the test. Okay, so that way you don't have anything in front of you.
Chad:So it wasn't like built into the course you have to like. Why couldn't you do it on the camera?
Tim:No, it has, like it's through Google. I mean, no, it's through Google, I don't know. Maybe I could have they said use your phone and prop it up. So I had to get stuff and get creative, creative in order to cheat. No, no, no, no, no. So they could watch and make sure I'm not cheating. So what was creative? So I had to put the phone over here because they had to look at me on this side. Okay, okay. And then the program that I'm using you can't it screen records too? How'd you do this? Semester Three classes.
Chad:What'd you get?
Tim:On my semester I got 100 in my Homeland Security class. My lowest grade was an 87.
Chad:Okay, don't give me actual numbers.
Tim:A, bs and Cs. Dude yeah. So I got a B+, an A and an A+.
Chad:Hell yeah.
Tim:Hell yeah, my B plus is my own fault. I want to ask you something.
Chad:okay, as a college student, you've used and that was the answer he was hoping for Eight inches round and one inch long.
Tim:That's true, old tuna cannon.
Javier:Like a Vienna sausage, bigger one.
Tim:Y'all use Canvas, right? Yeah, okay, so this professor had all the. It was a mini master for one of my classes and he had all the days lined up with. This is due this day. Read this whatever blah, blah, blah, and so I'm going off of that. This whatever blah, blah, and so I'm going off of that. At the very bottom, underneath all of that, he also had these like there weren't tests, necessarily, but they were like these bigger, like quiz things. Yeah, going on and I had to uh, utilize that and or I had, we had, you had to he's in college.
Javier:I'm sorry, he uses big words we had to.
Tim:We had to access that, but I didn't see those because, they weren't in the dates, like, yeah, I hate that shit. Yeah, so I missed two dang and they those counted for a, uh, a large sum you still gotta be, that's great. Yeah, I gotta be, because they dropped. They dropped your lowest grade, so I just got one zero. Hey, we just got a transcript not available.
Chad:Yeah, the hardest part I feel like of I feel like the most difficult part, is what are you doing?
Tim:Well, I got a phone call on here and it just said transcript not available.
Chad:You're just going to cut me right off and get into his voicemail. Is that what you're going to do?
Tim:This device wasn't set to receive incoming calls. We're going to set that Okay.
Javier:Can we get phone calls? That's what I'm trying to set up. We're setting it up for phone calls oh, fuck, yeah so you know, get your mom and him and give us a call 817-677-0408. We need to have that thing back, the scrolling thing on the bottom.
Chad:It has the number on it, yes or like you know gay.
Javier:I mean you know random facts, right, gay facts, gay, random facts, gay random facts.
Chad:No. So like I feel like the most difficult thing when you're taking multiple classes at once is maneuvering through the different kinds of schedules. Like every professor organizes their courses differently, and so you're like one One of my professors had like everything in two week blocks, which was kind of nice, hi Jordan. And then the other one had like one week blocks, it was just, it was. It was a lot.
Javier:I'm sure you feel better now that it's over. Fuck, yeah, I'm never doing three in a semester again.
Tim:We have a caller. We have a caller.
Maddox:Hello.
Tim:Hello, hey, how are you doing?
Maddox:How's it going. I'm doing amazing how are you Doing fantastic? So good All right, so I have a question for y'all, oh okay. Do you or do you not think that Trump has aura? Has aura Now that he was impeached once? Yeah, he was impeached once and now he's back. Do you think that people are scared of him or he's just genuinely bad?
Chad:oh man I think, javier, this is one for you if he's genuinely bad or people are just scared of him, or does he have?
Javier:anybody scared of him?
Maddox:I think he's just because he, if he wanted to, he really could wreck the world. If he's mad at people, that he impeached them first, or do you think he's just like genuinely bad?
Tim:well, we like to think that there's still checks and balances, but I'm beginning to wonder about that now.
Javier:I think the whole impeachment shit is just kind of like show. It's like theater.
Chad:Yeah, impeachment's not even a real thing, it's just a thing that they say.
Javier:I mean, I like peaches, but I'm not going to go throw peaches at a president.
Tim:I always say impeach this dick.
Javier:Oh, hmm, yes, Wow.
Tim:But you know who's who's? Who's?
Maddox:who's on?
Tim:the line.
Maddox:Uh, my name is Maddox.
Chad:Maddox, okay, all right, how do you, how did you hear about the funky Panther Maddox?
Maddox:Um, I have a part-time hobby, he's just. Uh, I have a part-time hobby is just to talk to people because I'd be bored, okay.
Javier:Hey, you got another question. This is fucking funny.
Chad:Give us.
Maddox:another question, non-political related maybe, yeah, you're probably going to see me a lot because, yeah, I just have a part-time hobby just doing calling shows. Okay okay, all right, give us one more question that's not political in nature. Okay, all right, give us one more question that's not political in nature. Okay, so do you think Eminem is washed or no? The rapper do you?
Javier:think he's bad. Well, let me ask first, can I ask how old are you? All right, I'm 17. Okay, so I think that it's a difference in generation. I think, like us being in our late 30s, like we see Eminem like how we did when we were his age, maddox, he right, I don't know.
Javier:Yeah yeah, but I think it's a different feeling, like kids now. They grew up with like different types of hip-hop and rap, like versus us, us we grew up with like m and nate dog and um, like uh cube and all those motherfuckers.
Tim:I think he he's lost a step, but it's still him and him I mean yeah I still think he's like one of the greatest uh of our generation yeah, I think he's one of the greatest rappers of our generation, but are there other people that are just as successful and just as good in their own way? Yeah, I think, um, I think in that, and that I think you still have to pay your respect to eminem, like if you're coming up in the rap game right now, just like I still think you have to pay respect to the people's champ, paul wall.
Tim:Yeah, of course um if you're from, especially if you're from texas, um the houston area've got to pay respect to Paul. But I mean, they're all good in their own way. And again I think, yeah, I think Eminem's maybe not as relevant now.
Chad:Not anymore, but he's still one of the greatest of all time. I mean, if you had like a Mount Rushmore of rappers, I feel like he not even just white rappers I feel like he's got to be up there. You know, like I don't know. He paved the way for so many people and he, even if he's not really doing the thing now, he did it for so long, so well. Like it's hard to say that he wasn't. He's still good at clapping back. Oh yeah, clap your cheeks.
Chad:But, he's not great at growing facial hair, though it looks like it was just like painted on. Painted on, or someone put fuzz and glued it to his face, so you know so who's y'all's Eminem?
Javier:then like comparing like that type of you know lyricist like who's y'all's?
Chad:yeah, maddox, who's your Eminem of your generation?
Maddox:so I mean I I don't really have a set person that I listen to. I mean I like Eminem because of how he's able to overcome, like I said, the rap game. Yeah, he is just one of the greatest to ever do it?
Tim:Yeah, but I mean, if you were going to pick one artist from coming up that you grew up listening to, that was not from our generation, but from your generation. Who are you putting on that pedestal? Yeah, who's one of the?
Chad:what number one?
Maddox:um, honestly, it's hard to say because I do listen. I don't really listen to my generation stuff I listen to.
Tim:So you got good parents got it cool, cool cool, cool, yeah, yeah all right, maddox, thanks for calling in. We're gonna go cut you off, though, um appreciate you. Feel free to call in. Leave us voicemail anytime um day or night. We'll be happy to hear from you just day, just day will work, all right, bye, all right this is uh gonna be interesting, because this is the first time we've ever uh just randomly done that.
Javier:How'd that happen?
Chad:So we did post it on the YouTube channel.
Tim:So we do have it on YouTube.
Chad:If someone's finding us on YouTube, we've got the phone number there 817-677-0408. We also have it on our social media. I mean, we talk about it quite a bit, but I would assume probably because of the YouTube.
Javier:That's awesome, I like it. Okay. So, where were? Would assume probably because the youtube, that's awesome, I like it, yeah, um, okay. So, uh, where were we? We were talking about y'all schooling. Yeah, yeah, okay so you're right.
Tim:How um professors? Every professor has a different. There's no standardized right, right and that drives me nuts.
Chad:It makes it difficult to like stay organized as a student because you're constantly having all these due dates dude.
Tim:I fucking killed my paper, though, for my homeland, my Homeland Security class, I thought he was going to say I killed my parents.
Chad:I wouldn't say killing in a Homeland Security class, though that's probably.
Tim:I destroyed my paper man.
Chad:I shoe-bombed that fucking paper.
Tim:Dude, it was so. No, I did really good You're on the list now. Chad. I hope you know I had to to do like a.
Chad:it was like something like the 30, almost a 30 page, almost a 30 page uh research paper. Holy shit, that's pretty. Yeah, that's pretty big man who's picked.
Tim:You suck to not write that paper no, I wrote it, but I'm gonna tell you the biggest hack is regurgitating previous papers regurgitating, but but utilize, not in a sense of like rewriting, to make it seem like it's a new paper. Right, use it as a. But I've already done all this research on this topic and now I can just take that research that I already have and spin it for this, you know, course, and so that made that made it a whole lot easier.
Chad:But, yeah, almost 30 pages dude let me ask you this how much chat gbt have you used in your class? And I just want a simple answer. I don't need the like I use.
Tim:How or why I use it, uh, probably on everything.
Chad:Okay, like, like I'm using the deep research now have you using the deep search and stuff, yeah, yeah, it's nice um, yeah so you know I have not used it specifically to like obviously write my paper because you know the the they're gonna find that oh yeah, they've got all the trackers and everything like that.
Tim:Well, the trackers.
Chad:Whatever, so they can figure it out somewhat, sure, right. However, I like the fact that I can talk about my like load in my book, load in all my different things and like I drive hour and hour and a half to and from work each day. I can just have a conversation with youGPT while I'm driving, learning more about what it is, but not like from my professor, from something that actually knows how I want to learn and answers my questions.
Tim:See, I've never thought about asking it and just having to talk back to me, do you?
Javier:have your phone set up. Instead of Siri searching for the web for it to search through ChatGPT.
Tim:It has.
Javier:I don't know if I've set that up, because it'll ask me like which how do I want to get my response? Do you want to get this?
Chad:from chat GPT. Yeah, I feel like it's not a good handoff, though. Have you noticed that's a good handoff for you or no?
Tim:A good handjob, yes, but not handoff.
Javier:Good handjobs are hard to come by.
Chad:Jesus Christ Jesus. All right, so are we going to go around the horn and talk about what we've been up to? Yeah, let me go first.
Javier:So I'm wearing my Manchester United jersey. We got the Europa League final tomorrow. Lance's team won everything. They won the Premier League. So cheers to Liverpool and cheers to Lance. But there's been a lot of Manchester United's had their worst year in history. So I'm really excited about this Europa League final. We're going against Tottenham. It's an all-English final. If we win, we go to the Champions League. If we don't, it sucks. We're going to lose players out of the transfer window.
Javier:But other than that, we've been binging King of the Hill, watching. We finished the pit. The pit was fucking amazing, great fucking show. I'm so glad you finished that. Have you? Have you watched? I haven't, god damn it. Watch it. Watch it this week and report back.
Javier:Yeah, okay, um, what else? Uh, ben, I can't really think of any. I was put on, uh, antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills. Um, I mean, you can fly again. I can fly again. I'm trying to get adderall, like for a good reason, like I'm not doing this to just fucking have it. I need it. And I've got my sleep study done. I'm pretty much doing all this for my mom. My mom is like I can't sleep at night because I think you're going to die soon and I want you to get better. So I'm doing this, I'm doing a sleep study, getting my shit checked out, getting my shit checked out, getting my cholesterol checked out. I am, um, gonna get an mri next month and then soon surgery to fix my hernia and whatever else you're taking care of yourself, I mean I'm 39 years old.
Javier:I mean, I don't know what.
Chad:Look at this gray, fucking skunk patch which means five years of not taking care of yourself.
Javier:Indeed is terrible but I'll tell you what though. I've lost about like 15 pounds, uh, from not eating, because I stopped eating more than I normally would and um I mean it's most people get on antidepressants just put on the weight. Yeah, that's and I told my doctor that. I told my doctor that. And then, uh, tammy's like I need to go with you to the doctor because I need to tell him everything else. I'm like, oh my, oh, my God. Okay, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, she's probably watching.
Chad:But no, that's I'm joking, I'm joking.
Javier:But I'm trying to think of what else. We had the NFL draft I don't need to talk about this on the other show but no, it's been a busy month because of all the goddamn hail. Yeah, like having to write up a bunch of shit and order a bunch of shit. We got soto's car in the shop. We're doing a little bit of uh, he got into an accident and so the other person's insurance is paying for his rental because he doesn't have rental. And, um, while we're sapping that, we're doing the hell also, so we're double dipping and the insurance company doesn't know.
Javier:And hey, allegedly allegedly I'm committing insurance fraud, but allegedly I'm not. I'm making money. So I'm making the shop money. I'm not making money. The block is going to get sold and my dad just no. I can't talk about that. All right, but that's oh. I'm pretty much going to, when he retires, run the shop on my own.
Tim:So it's going to be told me this week, so it's gonna be fun. Congrats man thank you.
Javier:Hopefully he still believes in me I believe in you. He doesn't believe actually he told my sister when she was in town, uh, that he that she was, he was, he was proud of her and I was like fuck you. I told her.
Tim:I was like daddy's never said that to me, that's exactly what I said yes, he's not supposed to say it to the men in the family well, maybe I'd like to hear it sometime.
Javier:I hear from my mom all the time I love you, mom, but not my dad. He didn't say oh son, I'm proud of you and I love you.
Tim:We're proud of you oh, okay and we love you fuck.
Chad:Who is that calling in? Is that javier's dad?
Javier:it is javier's dad no but also my sister's graduating next week, so actually he left a message.
Tim:He said stupid he did, probably.
Javier:But he probably said in english like stupid idiot because he doesn't speak spanish to me but uh, my sister graduates from school, high school.
Tim:Next week she's going to texas tech, so guns up, I guess do you think it's because he, he knows, he thinks that you don't understand it I don't know, man, it's kind of weird.
Javier:It's weird. Do you speak spanish to him?
Javier:no, we don't like if I speak sp Spanish to somebody and he will speak to them, and then he'll look at me and speak to me in English, and I'm like I think you should start speaking to him in Spanish no, no, no no, just as a social experiment it's like the last time I told him I love him, like I was like I love you dad, and he's like uh, all right, uh, I'll talk to you later, and I'm like fucking shit, wow, thanks dad, this doesn't understand. Thank you generational trauma All right, chad, I'm kidding.
Tim:What have you been up to?
Javier:Chad was on a trip. Yeah, you came back since. Did y'all talk about it?
Chad:We didn't talk about China, much no no, no. We did briefly, but we had Ben C on, so we talked about him. That's right that was a fun episode, uh, even though it's a good episode. He did a pretty good job filling in for you, though just like I thought, yeah, I thought he did great, good, good, just like kevin did a really good job filling in for me I ran into him at qt and I was like great job man, um, but yeah, so I did go to china and I'm glad that you brought that up, because I did bring stuff back.
Chad:Are you familiar with goods of desire?
Javier:you mean like handjobs? No, yeah.
Chad:Like the brand no, no, no okay, so there's a hype brand in in hong kong called god or goods of desire, and uh, they got all sorts of like, like hong kong type of men, like you know, like street signs and hong kong and, like you know, happy cat or like the lucky cats except for they're flipping you off.
Javier:I bought one labubu is a china-based company, right?
Chad:I don't know so I got you both. Uh, god, uh chopsticks. I like chopsticks and then hazies and crystal gave us a little box of chinese snacks to try out if we wanted to.
Maddox:A very good so I don't know what they are but there's stuff but yeah, that trip was fantastic.
Javier:Got any donkey in there.
Chad:No, I don't think so.
Tim:Yeah, there's plenty of donkey in there.
Javier:You know what I like about summertime they come back home.
Chad:Yeah, they'll be back in just a few weeks.
Tim:Chris, you said you were too quick. Tuna can. I love it whenever people join in and call people Tuna camp. Yeah, that's great.
Chad:So I did. I did finish Up my semester as well, took three Classes. That means I'm A quarter way done with my master's Quarter. A quarter, yeah, it's only 12 classes which is it.
Tim:This is why. This is why the other the Few several weeks ago. We chose not to come on because we both had final stuff and trying to finish things up with that, and that was a hell week man.
Chad:Both of my classes were also proctored exams, and so you know which it is, what it is. They probably should be, but it just makes it a little bit more difficult.
Chad:There's a little bit more stress behind it too, because you feel like I've got somebody watching me yeah because now it's like they've got AI on the cameras you mentioned this before where if you look away like it'll like flag you and stuff like that, and so, luckily, like I had no issues, I got all A's and so that was a good first semester anyway. And then both of my parents decide that they're going to get knee surgery at the same fucking time. So my mom had knee surgery just a month ago and then my dad had it two weeks ago, and so they were staggered. But who's going to take care of them when they're both down and out?
Tim:Their sons, mainly your brother.
Chad:But no, sir, he's been taking care of the dogs. I've been there taking care of them, eric eric is home.
Tim:No, no, no.
Chad:The other brother oh, andrew, so but no, it's been, it's been great. They're both feeling a lot better. They're actually like driving around and like you know how it is like when you're stuck in the house for just a few days.
Javier:They've been doing it for four weeks I mean I get it, man, like that's too much jerking off, honestly I.
Tim:I could stay in the house for four weeks, like well you know they're not like you.
Chad:I know, uh, and so you know they're a little depressed and upset because they can't do anything, and I feel it and and uh, we actually went to gusto's on saturday and it was just like they were whole new people. Right they're, they're hobbling around like humpty dumpty over here and and they're good.
Tim:Well, I hear it's best to go ahead and start walking and try to get that moving. They have you walk day one dude. They do, they do, they have been walking every single day since the search.
Chad:Yeah, they weren't even coherent and they had to walk. It's wild. So, yeah, that and finals yeah, it's been pretty wild, but it's been fun. It it's been pretty wild, but it's been fun, it's been good. I went to Houston, I went to Collecticon.
Tim:Oh, how was that? It was fun it was a good time. How many stinky people Didn't notice, like the nerds, yeah, no, no, no, no. I'm saying, like, how many people did you like whoa, like you smelled Like the nerds. Well, because cons.
Javier:Because cons, cons typically bring out the unbathed.
Chad:Okay, that's what I was. Yeah, because it collects cons like a nerdy thing. I thought you meant just in houston in general. No, no, no, no, okay. Yeah, fish melon all day everywhere, baby, no, I mean there was, there was a couple, there was a couple smellies. Yeah, you're just like oh, good lord I think sarah, she even pointed him out she's like what is that?
Chad:like that's just where we are not as smelly as san antonio that's just the odor, but it was funaZoo launched a new thing and so I got to like get some stuff there. And then who was it? But the guy we saw in Dallas at that like that DJ event, that one time Waka Flocka, he was there. Waka, waka flame, yeah, waka waka was there doing he has a charizard song.
Javier:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw that post.
Chad:I saw that post um, and then, of course, the guy from uh the pokemon singing song he apparently he's done like 40 or 50 different jingles like he was like knocking them all out.
Chad:I'm like, holy shit, this guy's got quite the fucking resume I was a trojan man I was uh the fucking uh mini cookie guy like no like he apparently had been killing it in like the 90s, early 2000s, because all of the jingles from the commercials that you remember, like I guarantee you he was about like 25 to 50% of them, which is quite a bit, because back in the day jingles were all commercials that's kind of like.
Tim:What's that guy who did like he did the Caddyshack theme and oh Kenny. Loggins, kenny Loggins, kenny Loggins. If you liked a song in a movie, it was probably Kenny Loggins.
Javier:Bro Top Gun. Yeah, the heat is out. No, what else Did he do the Sock-a-Bopper jingle? Did he do the Skip it? Remember the Skip it?
Chad:jingle. I actually think he did do Skip it Really. Yeah, but was it Skip it or Bop it? No, he might have done Bop it, skip it had a song but Bop, it really didn't it had a song Bop it, twist it, pull it.
Speaker 6:It was literally, definitely him.
Tim:It was literally like my go-to, like oh, that's how I'm supposed to do it here lately.
Javier:I'm reading the group text Hit it Bop. It, twist it. San.
Tim:Antonio smells like tacos, not onions and comino pits.
Javier:No, I was telling Tammy the other night, it smells like Mexico over here, because you know it's like people like cooking out and at night that's how Mexico smells.
Chad:No, you're good. We had a lot of really good food. We went to Truth Barbecue. We had really good cocktails and drinks and stuff like that.
Javier:You went to the Nickel City city over there yeah, nickel city.
Chad:We went to go see fern because he opened that one down there right, yeah uh, but he had already left.
Chad:Like he opened that one down there and then he already like moved on to another bar. So hit him up and went over to that bar and kind of hung out with him for a little bit. That was fun, but we had a great time, tons of good food, like it was. It was more food and alcohol that weekend than any. We had trill burger yeah, fucking amazing. Trill was way better than I expected. Um, and then we, we tried to go to eighth wonder brewing but they were shut down for an event. I still want to go to the brewery, but I guess that's about it. I feel like there was something I want to tell you guys, but I guess not.
Chad:I guess that's it something new that I wanted to tell you guys. All right Tim. What about you?
Tim:Well, we discussed about the school aspect, so I finished that up, but I'm still in my advanced school for work and I'm just plowing through that right now. That was the proctored exam, was that one? Yeah, just going through that and trying to knock that out. Outside of that, I haven't really had a whole lot going on. I think we mentioned in one of the last episodes that we did go see Disturbed and sat in the box seat. So that was pretty cool.
Chad:Got to see.
Tim:Daughtry as well, which was you know.
Chad:Just up there with Disturbed.
Tim:Yeah, that was unique.
Javier:What did they sing? Dick of a Sailor.
Tim:Yes.
Javier:More like.
Speaker 6:Lips of an Angel. Oh close yeah.
Tim:I don't think that's Daughtry though. That's not, that's Hinder, it's Hinder right.
Javier:Sorry, go ahead. That was bad.
Tim:One of our old high school friends, christy, used to be Baloo. Oh, yes, yes. She tagged me in a post and asked, like was this a fever dream? Because one of our first concerts that her and myself and Darren went to at a young age was a Union Underground concert at the Bronco Bowl. Age was a union underground concert at the bronco bowl and the union underground is doing their like. It's like the 20th something anniversary of their debut album and the sickness. So the the other one for um disturb. Yeah, that was the 20th anniversary, 25th anniversary, something like that. This one's a 20 and it makes me feel so fucking old dude.
Javier:Have you noticed that all these tours from these old bands are doing their 20th or 25th anniversary shows? Do you know why?
Chad:Because kids can't afford concerts because they're too fucking expensive. The only people that can afford concerts are us, and so they have to go back to the drawing board and be like we need to bring them their music.
Tim:Let's talk about that for just a second. Alright, jessie loves Nine Inch Nails. Like loves the band.
Javier:Me too.
Tim:So for her birthday I got her, I got us tickets to Nine Inch Nails, we got floor seats at Dickie's Alright. I had to get them on the second hand market because they sold out. You fool, they sold out before you know, whenever they first really, I mean immediately, like that day, right, like that morning, within like the first, like 30 minutes sold out. And I've been watching them and watching them, and watching them and I was like you know what? I don't want to risk it, just pull the trigger.
Chad:I just pulled the trigger and got us four seats, so I did the same thing for Benson.
Tim:Boone? Do you all know Benson Boone? Oh fuck, yeah, we saw him at ACL. We saw him at ACL, yeah.
Chad:I'm sure that performance was amazing. He's so good it was okay, he reminds me of like a the crowd pissed me off. Oh really, yeah, he was on SNL this past week or the week before Two. But he kind of reminds me of Queen yeah, with the mustache and the dress and the dancing.
Javier:He had Brian Mays cut out at Coachella. Well, no, he performed with him and then, like weekend two, he was like Brian couldn't be here, so he brought a cut out.
Tim:Yeah, so the guitarist from Queen played with him.
Chad:No way.
Tim:Yeah, at Coachella weekend one Because that whole reason.
Speaker 6:He's a showman.
Tim:Yes just like Freddie and he sounded great and he did the song we Are the Champions, yeah, we. Are the Champions. Wow, it was amazing.
Chad:And he's got a range. Yeah, so he has tickets that went on sale I want to say last week for September. And how many seats do you think are in Dickies 25?
Javier:and how many seats do you think are in Dickies? 25,000. 25,000?
Chad:Sure yeah, Okay. So I was waiting on Ticketmaster because you can wait in like the waiting room 10 minutes ahead. I was on there an hour ahead, 10 minutes ahead. I'm added to the waiting room. I'm working, so I'm not even looking. I look over. I am 38,000th in line to get tickets for fucking Benson Boone. And you know that, and I was 10 minutes. I was more than 10 minutes early and they're all boss. Oh yeah, for sure.
Chad:Yeah, and can you imagine? Like so, if people get two tickets a piece, that means that there's only 12,000 buyers. People are getting four fucking tickets a piece, which means you've only got like 7,000 actual purchasing tickets. You know what I mean? And they were gone.
Tim:How do you fix this? I've got an idea.
Javier:They had legislation that we're trying to pass.
Tim:Yeah, they're trying to pass them.
Javier:From the.
Tim:Obama administration. Well, it just happened again. They went through a congressional hearing with the big ticket companies. Live Nation was one that was involved with it as well. But how would you fix this problem? Because I have an idea.
Chad:Gladiator fight, that's pretty good I mean, like everything else, you have to have like a ticket maximum. Right, I think that you should have a ticket maximum.
Tim:Okay, but, yeah, but if you got 38,000 bots.
Chad:Right, even that, right, You're exactly right. I mean I think that would help. Obviously, it's not going to fix the whole thing. I don't know.
Tim:What's your thought? We stopped on them online and you have to go to jc penny's do you really used to so like have you ever gone?
Javier:no, no, it was dillard's.
Tim:Yeah, it was dillard's you have to go to. You have to go to a authorized ticket master location shit stand in fucking line and buy. That's dude.
Chad:You could buy them in like an albertsons or a kroger which one was it? I remember going to an albertsons and buying. I completely forgot about that whole memory until just now. I went to an albertsons yeah to buy concert tickets. I want to say it was for edge fest, but is that what year was that?
Tim:that was like 2003 but see, that's the only to me, that's the only way that you can fix it, because there's always gonna it's the same thing with, like, playing video games online there's always gonna be some exploit that somebody's gonna find to cheat, right to cheat the system.
Chad:You're still gonna have lines, but at least you're limiting it to zip code or like area and you physically have to be there bots are like buying it for benson boone across the us. He launched all of his tickets and I guarantee you bots were like buying up all the tickets across the us and then immediately putting them on sale no matter where you are when you're online right.
Tim:So metallica got in trouble because they were um buying and selling. Yeah, so they got pissed off about the whole Napster thing. Well, I guess they're recouping their lost money, and so they would buy and then resell on the side, to be honest with you they, they can't.
Javier:Well, that's if they do that with shoes, you're backdooring shoes but they're reselling for the higher price. Yeah, like Am manory with uh jordans. They were in like it's federal crime. They're being like persecuted, prosecuted for like upcharging for their shoes right, and so it's not right pokemon cards are huge again yeah, they are like going.
Chad:I was like what the fuck like I was going to. Uh, I was going by albertsons the other day and gamestop had a line out the door and I was like I wonder what that's about. And it's like they were selling Pokemon cards that day or something like that. It's getting crazy. But yeah, I don't know, I didn't have to pay. I did go to a concert last week or the week before and I didn't have to pay a premium. That's nice, it was awesome. Who'd you go see?
Tim:Bone, bone thugs. Oh, yeah, bone thugs. Okay, yeah, that's right, it was awesome. So, um, I want to talk about my most recent concert experience as well, but I do want to say that, um, if you notice my shirt that I'm wearing, I've got the where's it over here on this side? Um, I have the maltese cross there. Um, I am part of the union now with, uh, the local 440, which is part of the fort worth fire department, because I got sworn in, um, I, I am now a single role, single role, because that's what they're calling a single role firefighter, so the single role is not firefighting Exactly, exactly.
Tim:Exactly, it's wild, but yeah so that is my official title is a single role. Firefighter with the city of Fort Worth now, which is you know, that's wild, it is wild, all right. Fighter with the city of Fort Worth now, which is you know it is wild, alright. So again, the local 440, shout out to those guys because they bought a bunch of tickets for the Jelly Roll concert, jelly Roll and Friends at Billy Bob's. I've only been to a handful of concerts at Billy Bob's. I don't really care for it. I don't like the setup, but they had the entire floor. There was no tables on the floor, so it was only the outer perimeter had tables. We had pit uh tickets. Um, I've never been in a show that was not a metal show, with a mosh pit where I am shoulder to shoulder and can't move my arms yeah um, except for over there, like we were real close dude fort worth, got a ton of Jelly Roll fans man.
Tim:All right. So Jelly Roll. He's talented His stuff right now I like his hip hop, but he's really not for me now. It's not my thing. He brought out Lainey Wilson, which I'm a little upset, because Lainey I think she went on Ozempic or something.
Chad:Bring the butt back.
Tim:Yeah, bring the butt back. Yeah, bring the butt back. It's not as amazing as it was. She's very talented, though there was an artist and I wish I could remember her name because I wanted to play her, for us to get your take on it and tell me if it was hip-hop or country. Okay, so that's how a lot of the show was. Was people with like the little twang? In their voice, yeah, rapping over country music basically.
Speaker 6:And.
Tim:I'm like this is not country, this is Nashville country. Yeah, again, not really my thing, but Post Malone came out. Ooh. And in true Posty fashion. Yeah. Dude. After he did it, he did one song with him and then he hopped down into the crowd. I was not close enough to shake his hand but, man, he said hi to as many people as he could, signed things before he got back on the stage and left.
Chad:That's awesome.
Tim:Dude, he is a. I'm telling you. I think post malone is probably one of the greatest um, not artist. I think he's talented and people get mad because they think he's a culture, culture, culture, vulture or whatever, but I think he is one of the most genuine, caring individuals when it comes to music. There's only one other person um that I will say is like that. That I know and I've met personally and that's well, chef bonnell is great bono, bono.
Tim:I know how much you love bono, I hate bono, um no, uh, jared reddick of bowling for soup and the jared reddick uh band. Yeah, he is a like. If you see him out in the wild, you go up and talk to him. He's going to take the time to actually talk to you, shake your hand and he seems like he genuinely cares about you as a person. Yeah, so great individual. I enjoyed that aspect of the show. I don't like the people. I'm going to tell you the country people. I guess I don't know if it's just like the Billy Bob's crowd or whatever, I don't know what it is, but one of my friends was walking to the bathroom and some guys tried to fight him. Yeah.
Tim:Like he's literally just trying to make his way through the crowd to go to the bathroom. Wasn't provoking anything, wasn't stepping on people's feet, was just trying to get there and they tried to pick a fight with him and this guy's. He's a short little fella like. There's no reason to pick on the short guy single youth fireman no, no, no, no, no, he's uh he's actually a he's, he's a, he's a dual role firefighter whoa, not with the four.
Speaker 6:Not forward though, okay, another place.
Tim:Um, yeah, like why? Why? He's just trying to go to the bathroom, he's just, that's all. So why start a fight?
Chad:because you get a bunch of drunk rednecks together, timothy, and someone's gonna want to fight somebody.
Tim:That's just the way that it is yeah, hervey, I do remember when she had that back bumper and it's not there anymore. That's the thing is, it's just not there at all. Um, but yeah, like uh uh, what's his face uh, co wetzel came out oh yeah, so afterwards they all went to Coe Wetzel, of course.
Chad:Yeah, which they did that before. I want to say, like last time, post Malone, I think, whenever he was at AT&T Stadium, they hung out at the Coe Wetzel's bar for a little bit, yeah, and then still on these artist things like genuine people right.
Tim:So, I was listening to a guy who was talking about he drove down to Hillsboro to go to this little festival thing. It was free and Paul Wall was headlining it and they got out there and they were like it didn't seem like it was going to be that much or whatever. There wasn't like this huge crowd.
Chad:Yeah.
Tim:But Paul got up there. Paul Wall's up there, smiling like he always does and just giving one of the best shows of what he said, and I haven't had an opportunity to meet him yet. But I think he's also one of those genuine, actual for the people. I mean, he's the people's champ, right, and I like that about some of these. You know those types of artists. Let me ask you something?
Chad:Do you only like white musicians? No, it sounds like you're a big fan of white musicians.
Tim:I do like white musicians, but I think I like any musician that is going to be nice, friendly and want to actually be around their people.
Chad:That was a good answer. I was hoping you'd flail a little bit. No, no, no.
Tim:I imagine that Donald Glover is probably Pretty friendly.
Chad:I don't know that he is. I don't know. I think he might have been back in the day.
Tim:Maybe not so much anymore.
Chad:I don't know. I get the vibe that he's done with people.
Tim:But I could be wrong.
Chad:But most people are done with people, right?
Tim:Yeah, I get it At this point in life.
Chad:So I went to the Bone Thugs concert a couple of weeks ago I think it was last week and I didn't go there initially to see bone thugs although what a treat but um, jay diggs uh was performing and so got to see him. He opened up and he had like a full band. He killed it, oh he had a full band.
Chad:Yeah, he did like a full band they're out of like college station or something like that like a house band and so the music, like it was a good fucking show, like he put on a really good performance. Good, good for jay I mean I you know we've all seen him. We saw him at uh whenever he was with ernie over there. At what was it back before it changed over the um next to down and out cicada yes, it used to be mass yeah, mass, right.
Chad:So he performed at mass with uh, it's ernie and that was a great show. But, dudes, there's something different when you got the full band behind you, the house band, it was cool. Talking about the Bone Thugs concert I went to last week oh at Haltom Theater. Yeah, welcome back to the show.
Javier:Sorry, it was a work call.
Chad:What did you think about Haltom Theater? I'd never been. It is I mean, it reminds me like a mix between the Bungalow and Ridgely Theater. Yeah, yeah.
Javier:It's like a rundown ridgely. Yeah, I've never been, but I liked it a lot. I've never been in the main room I've only been in that side room.
Tim:I've been in the main room a few times and um yeah, it's just like a it was packed out, man.
Chad:So so jay diggs opened up and then xb valentine uh was middle. Oh, cool and then you know, obviously bone thugs close it out and they was so much fun and we saw a couple of people that we knew ran into Smooth Vega, of course, I think he was the one that put it all on. So, yeah, hell of a show. That was fun, but that was one I didn't have to pay a premium for, lucky enough, but it was a good time.
Javier:Back to the ticket conversation. Did you talk about how we got tickets to go see Jay-Z, see jay-z. No, that's a good story. We went up to the. We were online checking to see if we can find it on stubhub and we were like, man, let's wait until the show's about to start. And um, it was getting a little cheaper and a little cheaper, and then as soon as it like showtime happened, it disappeared right, and so we were already more than halfway to dallas and at this point we're like, dude, let's just go over there, let's go to the box office if we find tickets whatever we're in dallas, we're already there so I get out, we get the tickets.
Javier:I'm like, I want your best, I want your most expensive seats, and they're like, are you sure? Like, yes, well, there are better seats for lesser money, if you want to get those.
Chad:Yeah, I think we paid like 80 for the best seats they had available and the ones on StubHub were like about the same price and they were like fucking nosebleed, shitty seats so it's always better to go to the box office to get those it's wild, though, is, back in the day, when you think about StubHub and you think about, like, the transition of these companies that used to be like for the people and now they're like Airbnb's the same way, exactly, exactly so you get the point Right. So, like back back in the day, stubhub was like I need to get rid of my tickets. I'm just going to sell them Right, not at a premium. I just need to get rid of my tickets because I bought them and now I can't go, and so, generally, people like us could just swipe those up before. You would always where it's like 30 minutes before the show starts, they cut off StubHub. That's why we got fucked.
Chad:It's because we just waited. We got too close to the sun and then, as soon as we were 30 minutes from the start of the show, all the tickets disappeared. We're like shit. No, we're fucked, but no. So now StubHub is just like.
Tim:Not only is it a premium from the seller's perspective, there's also all of these fees with premiums and so now you're paying like if you look at a hundred dollar ticket on stub hub, it's gonna end up being 150 when it's all said and done. Because of everything she's like there's nothing for us. Yeah, so the fees that I paid for our nine inch nails tickets is what really drove the price up.
Chad:Um, I like I ended up having 150 worth of fees, like holy crap yeah, so like I was looking when we went to the Rangers game, so that's something else that we did.
Javier:We went to the Rangers game a few years ago. We had a bunch of glizzies. We sure did.
Chad:We had handfuls of hot dogs and glizzy hats.
Tim:Five glizzies within the first inning. One inning Five glizzies apiece.
Chad:It was wild. You boys can get it, but like I was looking at parking ahead of time because you could buy parking on StubHub and it was like $25 parking, I'm like perfect, that seems cheaper than what we're probably going to see. After fees it was like $47.
Tim:Suck my dick from the back and we pay $25 for parking.
Chad:Exactly. It's so stupid man, god damn. It's ridiculous For the what, for the ease. Because you emailed it to me, bro, like it's wild. All right, um I just I use chat gpt to translate this real quick.
Javier:Okay, are you gonna try one? I'm gonna open this up um we're gonna try them all.
Tim:So mochi, mochi, nine gal there's a pepper in the back of it. Yes, it's gotta be hot uh, spicy konjac strips is what it translates to fragrant. Spicy konjac strips uh, konjac is is very healthy, very smooth texture, high quality and safe.
Chad:Okay, ready to eat konjac product so we went to when we were in macau, uh, which is like the vegas, it's like macaque. No, uh, we went into a 7-eleven to get a bunch of beers because we're gonna go back to the venetian, which is where we were staying and just like stay up and party in the room or whatever, and they had like shrimp. But, like you know, when you see like a like a beef stick, right like you, to us beef jerky or beef sticks is no big deal. Yes, it's meat, yes it's on the shelf, whatever. But they had shrimp like that, like shrimp and crab and stuff like sitting on the shelf, like you could just get like shelf, uh, what do you call it? Shelf?
Javier:shelf crab like a sushi, like a fucking but it wasn't cool, it wasn't cold, it's just like.
Chad:Shelf stable is the word I'm looking for. Shelf stable shrimp and crab. We got it. It tastes great. It's just weird eating lukewarm shrimp, I mean or I think we had the crab actually it was like lukewarm. We might have had both, I don't know. But yeah, I didn't fuck with that too much. It tasted great, it's just that. All right.
Javier:The Chinese have one thing better. Well, I'm pretty sure it's a difference between East and West. I think it's one of those things where you're like, well, they're like, oh, this is how we normally eat it, and you're so attuned from being in a different culture You're like, oh, Like it's not.
Chad:I mean, I'm here for it, it's warm, but it was weird. Yeah, we also. We had a century egg. Oh yeah, it was not that bad Really.
Tim:It was way better than I thought it was going to be.
Javier:Yeah, they have dried shrimp down in the Hispanic aisle. Yeah, yeah, they do, and they have a little salsa packet with that, oh yeah.
Chad:But so if okay, if you wouldn't have told me like what it was before I eat it, then I'm sure I'm like, okay, let me eat it. Have you had one? You've had one.
Javier:What cat fry yeah, yeah, but I mean the same thing with the century egg. I'm sure, like I mean it's a black egg. Yeah, I'm sure they're like if I was blindfolded, and they're like, hey, taste this and we'll see what you oh yeah, you would have thought it was good.
Chad:Yeah, it actually was tasty, but it is a weird, weird thing to get around because it's like this blue, green, black egg.
Tim:Yeah and the baby's still inside right I don't know how I feel about this. No, that's a. That's not that. That's a. That's a different egg.
Chad:No, that's yeah that's the goose egg.
Javier:This is different so what do I do with this?
Chad:eat it?
Tim:I'm not sure.
Chad:It's a weird texture I'm not gonna, so I think that's seafood right. I don't know what konjac is, I'm pretty sure that's seafood right there. It's probably like fucking jellyfish or something.
Tim:It doesn't taste bad. It's weird. It's just weird. What is konjac? It's actually a type of root vegetable. Oh, okay, yeah.
Javier:Mmm, I like it, mmm, I don't hate it.
Tim:It's not something that I'm like. Oh, I would want to eat that as a snack all the time, I feel like I would put this on rice, you know what I mean.
Chad:Like put it on rice to kind of like flavor it.
Tim:Yeah, christy's right, that's Balut is what you're talking about.
Chad:Oh, yeah, balut is the goose like half alive.
Javier:Nobody wants it.
Chad:I just don't want to get my hands dirty. Just lick your fingers like it. Get it, tim. In China, they wash their hands before dinner and after dinner Very clean. They also wear gloves. If you're going to eat anything with your hands, you wear latex gloves.
Tim:I know a bunch of people at work that do that.
Chad:I do not. I typically don't either. If you were going to have wings, would you have latex gloves to eat them? No, if you were going to have wings, would you have latex gloves to eat them?
Tim:No, I'm going to get extremely messy, yeah.
Chad:See, I don't like getting messy, so I understand, I just also don't want to use.
Tim:You didn't play in the mud as a child, did you?
Chad:Of course.
Speaker 6:I did.
Chad:No, I played in the mud all the time. I don't believe it. I just don't like food on my hands.
Tim:That's fine, you on your hands. You just don't like food on your hands.
Chad:I'm fine with blood, grease, everything else, just not food on my hands.
Javier:Get her in the wrong month. Have you never had a crab boil?
Tim:Yes, we've done seafood boils. Yeah, dude, I do, well not crawfish boils. It's the same thing, Going to an actual crab boil it's still messy.
Javier:It's very messy. I'm talking sauce on your hands.
Tim:Yeah, like a crab pot or something like that. So is crawfish.
Chad:Yeah, but you're being like delicate. Have you never actually been to one of the crawfish boils?
Javier:Yes, remember, we got COVID at one.
Tim:No, that was a glizzy and I'm covered in sauce whenever I eat at the crawfish.
Chad:Yeah, we put like the sauce and the more sauce on it.
Javier:Yeah, yeah, but over there on hewlin we'll go to one over there it's really good.
Chad:There's one that, uh, my barber mentioned. She said that there's, uh, there's like this crab place down saginaw main and I've been wanting to go because, you know, I like those spots because they bring it in like a big bag right and they shake it all up with a bunch of shit, and she said it was fucking awesome. So I want to try it out soon. Yeah, oh man, shout out to AD.
Javier:There's one over there on Hewlin, right by where Hazes and Crystal used to live. It's right near the train tracks.
Chad:Oh yeah.
Javier:On Hewlin and it's really good. It's a treat for us. We'll go over there and stuff our faces. I'll bring gloves from work and get messy.
Tim:I love this chat because I'm using the camera feature and I'm asking. So I asked what is this? Spread my ass. This is a Hawthorne snack bar made by Leif and six ingredients. It's a fruit-based bar made primarily with Hawthorne berries and five other ingredients, no additives, strip-shaped with real ingredients made from original fruit puree, and the six ingredients are red dates, hot thorn, cinnamon, barley lotus seed and Job's tears.
Chad:Job's tears From Arrested Development.
Tim:Actually, yeah, probably that's funny. Okay, so we're going to break off a piece of this and try it.
Chad:All right, so we've all talked about what we've been up to. I think that we pretty much covered it all.
Tim:Yeah, in an hour. What do we have on the agenda?
Chad:Timothy.
Tim:Well, let me pull up my notes here. Oh, this is perfect.
Chad:We've got three of these weird Job tears sticks.
Tim:All right. So first off, we've got uh.
Chad:Hmm, we got a new pope. By the way, this is about as sweet as you're going to get on a Chinese snack. It's like sweet at first and it's like, oh, where'd it go?
Tim:A little sour. Yeah, it's citrusy, it's citrusy, it's citrusy, all right.
Javier:So we got a new pope. Is this his body? The old pope?
Tim:Well, I'm going to get to that here in a second, but the new pope is from America. Yeah, he's actually from Chicago, the pope. He's a Sox fan because of the region of the Chicago area that he's from.
Chad:Nice.
Tim:So he's a Sox fan. That's one thing. He is changing the holy sacraments, so that did come out. So the body of Christ is now a dipped Italian beef. It was jardiniere spicy jardiniere Shut the fuck up, and the blood of Christ is malort.
Chad:Yes, chef, yes, chef. So funny story. So we went over. Southside Cellars was doing their five year anniversary a couple of weeks ago. Shout out to Southside. They had. Cantillon. Yeah, they had Cantillon on top.
Tim:They were raffling bottles too, yeah, crazy.
Chad:And so met up with like Jordan and Lance over there to grab a beer. But we also went to Nickel City. And what does he do? He gets shot at. Malort Right, Because he's a degenerate and so he gets a couple shots at Malort. And they didn't bring him out in shot glasses, they had like these little metal gravy boats, oh nice, At Nickel, yeah, and we're like why is this? And Kat was like because the fucking Pope's from Chicago. And I was like, okay, good enough for me.
Tim:Yeah, so okay, good enough for me. Yeah, so that's uh, anytime that lance and I go to um because he'll randomly hit me up, he's like, hey, we're going to um nickel. I'm like, all right, I'll just pop over there, have a couple drinks and um. Every single time I walk in, it's either if I'm there first, I'm getting the malord, if he's there first, we're getting the lord. We do malord shots every single time we go out.
Chad:Now I've only done two malord shots, and they were both because of land.
Javier:Every time, every time, every time we go to um two lanes for after we record, we'll go walk over there, you know, to get some pizza, yeah, and he's like you guys got malort. He's like for the last time we don't. And he's like I'm gonna keep asking, I'm gonna keep asking yes, yes and uh, they're losing out on money.
Chad:Do y'all record every week or every other week?
Javier:every other week but we't recorded in about a month because he's been busy. I've been busy, so I mean.
Chad:Shout out to the man for getting out All right.
Tim:So back on the Pope, though. So he's the first American Pope.
Speaker 6:Yes.
Tim:Big deal, right, pretty big deal. He's already an internet icon.
Javier:um, he's, uh, he's basically the meme saint gladys said that he had been fighting evil since before he became the pope yeah because it was a socks uh astros world series that he was, what's wild is.
Tim:I saw someone post and they were. It was. He was she was filming um her mom and her mom was over there saying like she dated the Pope before he was the Pope.
Speaker 6:Really Like back in the day Before he renounced women. Yeah, yeah.
Tim:Like this lady has slept with the Pope. Also a tuna, can I guess.
Javier:Right, that's what I hear. That's what I hear I'm sure he was, like I got to go to the church because my dick is too big.
Tim:Yeah, so again yeah so again.
Javier:That's how he talks. You don't deserve this. My penis, I'm giving you to the Lord.
Tim:So here's the whole thing. So the Vatican just got a Midwestern upgrade because the new Pope's from Chicago and yes, that means communion now includes a shot of Malort and a hot Italian beef on a paper plate.
Javier:I heard Portillo's is opening next door to the Vatican. They are, they're actually opening right in the middle of it.
Tim:So they are. They're actually opening right in the middle of it. So he's got the Holy Spirit, but he also has Jordan-era bulls energy. This dude might declare the Eucharist invalid if served without Jordan-era right.
Javier:I'm sure he's front of the line to get those Air Jordan 4 white cements next week to white cements next week.
Tim:So, since he's already been, since he became Pope, everybody's been just talking about him. There's memes popping up everywhere, All sorts of stuff. I think this is what I'm just going to say it. I think this is what the Catholic Church needed. They needed something to because it's kind of a pivot. It's a pivot into the, the culture of today, Right.
Javier:It's like dogma, where they change Jesus. Yeah, kind of yeah, yeah.
Tim:I think, I think it is like that. I think, I think we're going to see Buddy Christ. You know he's going to have his thumb out there like that. Yeah, so in twenty twenty five, the path to St Sainthood starts with an algorithm. Uh, the vatican doesn't need a conclave, they need a social media manager. Now, um, I think I I think that's actually pretty accurate but there was a lot of people like.
Javier:People were like oh, he didn't say speaking, because I watched the whole thing, you know did you have you seen all the ai edits?
Tim:So, first off, there's a shit ton of AI edits popping up for all sorts of things, this being one of them. They had him up there and AI edited, basically talking shit on the Cubs. Speaking of AI edits, they had this whole thing with Caitlin Clark doing press conferences, talking shit about.
Javier:Angel Reese, Bro. She a scrub. Angel Reese is a scrub and it's some of the funniest stuff ever.
Tim:So now I'm having a hard time understanding what's what, what Like? Is this real?
Chad:Real life for AI.
Tim:Yes, and it's really fucking with me here.
Chad:It's gotten pretty good this.
Tim:No, the AI stuff yeah.
Chad:That's just grilled chicken breast.
Tim:Let me. I don't have any of the Pope ones, but I do want to play. I'm going to use my chopsticks, so this is AI of Caitlin Clark talking.
AI:I shouldn't have fouled Angel Reese on that layup. We all know she would have missed it twice anyways. I was just trying to save her from looking really stupid. I fouled her so hard one of her eyelashes fell off. I'm the LeBron of women's basketball and Angel's the Michael Jordan of Joe Kim Noah's. She dribbles like a blind girl. That's six tequila shots deep. She's one bad season away from starting an OnlyFans page and selling molds of her beefy tang for 20 bucks.
AI:Angel has her own special, so I told her to put the fries in the bag. She should be more humble, because she's going to be selling autographs at a strip club during lunchtime soon.
Tim:If it wasn't for me she'd be doing tricks for check in order to pay rent, yeah so it's, so that's and that's all. Ai, what if it wasn't, though? What if it wasn't? Dude, at first, when I first started seeing these pop up, I was like holy shit, they're allowing this ai videos are getting a lot better too.
Chad:They're not like these spaghetti monster things, right like they're actually spaghetti yeah, actually there was a funny comparison. It's like this is what it looked like when it first came out, like Sora or whatever, will Smith eating spaghetti, and then the new one, and it actually looks like it could be Will Smith eating spaghetti. It's wild, it's crazy. It's getting there. It's getting there, all right. What did y'all think about the chicken breast? It's really good.
Tim:Chicken breast isn't bad. It had a lot of flavor.
Javier:Damn. The Chinese really do a good job when it comes to these types of snacks.
Tim:All right, so we're just kind of catching up on what's happening in the world, right yeah, what do you think about this number one pick that the Mavs have got?
Javier:I have a conspiracy, oh Cooper flag.
Tim:Well, yeah, so they're getting number one in the draft.
Javier:First pick in the draft right.
Tim:Likely Cooper. Flag Likely Cooper flag.
Javier:Well, Patrick Dumont, the fucking douchebag, said that they were going to get him.
Tim:Alright, so is this rigged?
Javier:Yes.
Tim:Because everybody hates Nico so much.
Javier:And everybody hates what happened. They talked about how players were giving up to other teams and that team ended up getting the first round pick. Happened with the Clippers. Happened with the Pelicans. Happened with the Lakers no wait, no, not with the Lakers.
Chad:What was the percentage chance? You said 1.8.
Tim:Wild Oops, wrong one. So I want to play this, so the whole Nico. Thing.
Javier:These are way better than I thought they were going to be Really good. What is it?
Chad:It is a Chinese snack called Classic Crispy Rice Crust.
Tim:Very delicious, so this is one of my favorite clips that I've heard. Hold on real quick, yeah gotcha.
Chad:This has got the texture of a cinnamon toast crunch right, mm-hmm, but then it's flavorful like a cracker. You know what?
Javier:I mean Very flavorful cracker.
Chad:Thanks, Boo Boo.
Speaker 6:Why shouldn't you be fired? Well one. I think I've done a really good job here and I don't think I can be judged by the injuries this year. You have to judge from totality, from beginning to end, and so I think I have a really good working relationship with Patrick. I think you add in Rick. The leadership that we have is really elite, and you'll see next year when our team comes back. We're going to be competing for a championship.
Tim:Watch, All right so you have that one right, that's not AI. No, no, that's real, that's real, you know that Luka was important to the fan base.
Speaker 6:I didn't quite know it to what level, but really the way we looked at it is, if you're putting a team on the floor that's Kyrie Klay, pj, anthony Davis and Lively, we feel that's a championship caliber team and we would have been winning at a high level and that would have quieted some of the outrage. And so, unfortunately, we weren't able to do that, so it just continued to, you know, go on and on.
Tim:The fact that the man said I did know that Luka was important to the fan base. I didn't quite know to what level Right that tells me that he is so disconnected from the team.
Javier:I think it's just a fucking cop-out, because obviously they have a. Dallas did a Luka Doncic day Like every year. Yeah, it did a Luka Doncic day like every year.
Tim:Yeah, it's a cop-out.
Javier:How many commercials Jordan Brand commercials do you see of him? He's a Jordan Brand athlete, I mean, obviously he's breaking records.
Chad:He's on every billboard for the Mavs.
Javier:Yeah, he's got murals painted of him. It's just a fucking cop-out.
Chad:So okay, I have. I have to be completely honest with you, I don't really watch college ball at all. So tell me a little bit about cooper flag, like from if you were to grade luca a one to a hundred, what like an 89?
Javier:no, I give him a 94 94.
Chad:What would you give cooper flag? So far from what you same thing two-way player, offense and defense generational.
Javier:they say. I believe it, you know. But again, it's kind of tough with these first-round picks or these first overall picks, right? Because you never know who was the first-round pick for the. Who was it Tyrese Halliburton or Obi Toppin was like the first overall pick.
Chad:No, they weren't, Wasn't it? Oh, ant Edwards? No, it wasn't. Even Ant wasn't it.
Javier:It wasn't Lamello no.
Chad:There was a lot that class. I thought Lamello had all the hype and he went first and then Anthony Edwards. I think is stellar. Yeah is stellar, yeah, right, but halliburton's stellar too. They're both better than lamello. Yes, that's why it's like it is hard to tell, like a first year player out of college, how well they're going to do years down the road you know, it's kind of with jordan.
Javier:Like you know, he played his first season, had injuries the second, and he was out for a whole year. I mean, you're, you're you?
Tim:are taking a gamble you are, and because yes, you can. You can perform at a high level in the college, but it is proven that sometimes that doesn't translate over into the actual NBA.
Javier:Yeah, I mean, look after all this stuff with Luka. Now they're saying that the Hawks won the draft because Luka was traded to the Mavericks. The Hawks won because they still have their player who was picked over Luka?
Tim:But you know this whole thing with Niko Harris. You know it's bad whenever Charles Barkley is telling him basically to shut the fuck up.
Javier:Yeah, he's like shut, just stop.
Tim:Yeah.
Javier:Stop doing presses.
Tim:Yeah, he should have stopped, but I cannot imagine. I cannot imagine basically being the most hated man in NBA right now. You go to a game and all they are chanting is Fire, nico.
Javier:Everywhere. It was an SMU basketball game. He got booed over there. He said Fire Nico. Yeah, it was wild.
Chad:Was Halliburton the first. How did you know? I was looking it up. Anthony Edwards was number one, then James Wiseman, who, oh, fuck yeah, he fell off. Know, I was looking it up. Uh, anthony edwards was number one. Uh, then james wiseman, who, oh fuck yeah, he fell off the face of the planet. Right, lamello, patrick williams, isaac okoro, onyeko kongwu, killian hayes, obi toppin, denny of uh abdija, and then jaylen smith is the only other other than uh ant and uh lamello he went uh tyree saliburn went 12th god damn, yeah, all right it's.
Chad:Is he still? He's in the the last four, right yeah?
Javier:right, no, yeah, this is yeah. Yeah, he's been killing it Him and.
Chad:Anthony are both in it right now. Yeah.
Tim:So I want to step away from the sports talk. I just wanted to bring that up because you know the star. We'll just chat about the stars, real quick.
Javier:Tonight's the start of the Western Conference finals, right Game one.
Tim:Uh-huh, game one. This has been a hold my breath, man, because I? This has been a hold my breath man, just watch, because I'm not watching the games. I'm. I refuse to watch the games because I feel like if I watch them I'm gonna jinx them. Same same. Because the last. So I went, the first hockey game I went to this season um, we, we lost. I was like I don't need to be here, don't need to be here, um, let me learn. And so now I get the updates on my phone and that's, that's good enough for me, and then I'll watch the highlights. I'm like, okay, cool, we're ahead. Because I just fear. As soon as because it was the same thing I watched the Mavs and I started getting really into wanting to watch them. I put it on and we're losing. And we're losing every single game, the game I went to and every game I watched, we were losing need to do this.
Tim:Yeah, um I feel like the guy. I feel like. I feel like, um, what was the dude from silver lining playbook? Oh uh, robert de niro. Yeah, I feel like him. Like you gotta sit in a certain seat you gotta wear a certain jersey. Yeah, I do that yeah, so just not watching, I'm just keeping up with it.
Javier:I get the stars update on my phone if they score in my hands on my wiener, then it's staying there the entire game, the entire game, yeah, so so we so did.
Chad:Y'all know that rar is done yeah yeah, saturday was the last day saturday was the last day that they've been in the building for like 20 years, which is wild.
Chad:I've been going for. We've been going for like 15 years. I know that I've been going since, like super bowl was here for sure, right, yeah, um, so we went because it's the last day and then the game was going on, right, and so we went over and hopped over to the chat room to watch the last period and I hadn't been in a bar for a sports game match whatever in a long time and, dude, the energy even in the chat room was wild, yeah in that overtime shit that was.
Chad:It was fun. I forgot how fun it is to watch a game in a bar like I remember watching most of the world series for the rangers a couple years back in, you know, like uh I think it depends on the bar, though, because I mean, like if you went to the Amber Room it very much depends on the bar.
Chad:But you know, like that's when you're going to get that energy right, that you can't get it home. But you're not going to go to the game. Or you can't or it's too expensive. You're still going to get a good amount of energy.
Javier:Like Like down and out.
Chad:Shit They've been killing. We almost went to down and out. I'm like I want to be able to order a drink. That place is going to be fucking packed.
Javier:They were posting videos of the overtime win man. I can't.
Tim:Tonight they have a thing going on, so I want to go and I will go to Victory Plaza or whatever when we start, if we go to the Stanley Cup.
Javier:If we go to the Stanley Cup, if we go to the Stanley Cup.
Tim:I'm going to go out there, yeah for sure. Just take the yeah, TRE will pregame how many games do we have to do to win? Four. So we still got four games. When we make this Because we're going to go to the Stanley Cup, yeah, hold on. We're going to go to Stanley Cup, so it's four games, right? Yeah, we've got to win four games, so I guess by game two or game three or whatever. If we're up 3-1, then yeah, we're going to be out there.
Javier:Just like this. Last time, yeah, because we were up 3-1, and then they won.
Tim:Yeah.
Javier:And so when I watched it, and then I but I will start at once.
Tim:We hit game three out. I'm going to go to Victory. Plaza. I want to be there for that. I can't go to the game. I want to be there for that.
Chad:Let me know, man, I'll probably be at work. I'll just come right on over.
Tim:Just come right on over, we'll hang out. There's stuff there, right?
Chad:Tons of stuff. I've never really had Victory Plaza. There's two or three really cool bars right there in the little plaza.
Tim:It's going to be packed, yeah, and I understand that. But for once, I want to experience that and I will call. If we win, I will call off for the parade. I will go to the parade.
Chad:Yeah, same, yeah Same.
Tim:I want to be there because I didn't get to do it for the Mavs championship and I didn't get to do it for I didn't get to do it for the.
Tim:Rangers. My parents did. I didn't get to do it for whenever the Stars won the Stanley Cup, yeah. So this will be a first and I'm really looking forward to that. I don't want to wait until he gets back We'll start talking about this, but I want to bring up this whole. Like Kanye's taken, like he's doubled down Okay, he has doubled down with anti-Semitic, pro-Hitler stuff with this most recent track.
Chad:Some track. He's got music out. Oh yeah, dude, I have not even paying attention on x.
Tim:Um, I don't think it can be released on. Uh, yeah, uh song amassed millions of streams on x. It was taken down from like pretty much everything else, but he's basically uh. He released a new song. Uh the title uh was blurred in controversy which he explicitly praises adolf hitler shut the fuck up. We're talking about kanye and his adolf hitler track he didn't.
Chad:You didn't know about this either. Good, because I had no idea. I thought I was the only one.
Tim:So yeah, he's, uh, it's, it's been, it's been streaming on x, uh, which is now this. Uh, you know, x is now acts as a pseudo streaming service under elon musk's free speech crusade. Um, I'm all for free free speech, right? Yeah, to an extent I think germany's doing it right. Where they you get in trouble for doing pro hitler things. Um, yeah, it's absolutely insane. So just when you, when we thought kanye uh couldn't spiral deeper, he went full final boss of cancel, cancel and made Hitler the feature. No remix, no irony, just Hitler was misunderstood with an 808.
Javier:I'm not even listening to anything. I told you I ordered stuff from his website in December and I got it like a month ago and I'm like, oh okay, these are okay. The sock shoes, no, no, I already had those, those are trash Like the.
Tim:Did you buy the shirt? What do you expect for 20 bucks? Did you buy the shirt? I didn't Hell, no, oh, okay.
Javier:Just walking around with a swastika.
Tim:I was like don't tell me, you bought the shirt it had like slides not slides, but like flippies, like it's like a clog.
Javier:It's a clog okay it's a fucking clog and I'm like these are weird, like what the fuck is the deal with these? There's no badging or anything on it yeah it's like you could have bought it on timu which, yeah, probably, which, probably there yeah so all right.
Chad:So what a fucking down, didn't, didn't he like? So a couple things. We talked about him in the nitrous, right? He's now suing the dentist or whatever, because he's saying he got him hooked. Okay, but yeah, it takes some responsibility too, though.
Maddox:But yeah cool.
Chad:And then also, isn't he getting a divorce? He got divorced yeah.
Javier:He's already divorced he's already divorced Dude.
Chad:how quick was this one? It's only been like a year or two, right?
Javier:Yeah, yeah, was this one. It's only been like a year or two, right, yeah, yeah, fucking, why they actually changed the rules to the uh, I forgot what awards show. Or con music, the con film festival, about dress code, like you can't wear anything that's sheer or you're showing body parts yeah, they changed because, like, well, she showed up the grammys, because she showed up naked pretty much. Yeah, I love the body, love the human body is fucking great, love it.
Tim:But you know they're like so I mean, at this point, I think we've reached a point where Kanye is basically playing chicken with morality, that's about right and he's kind of losing it. People take it as thinking it's like well, this is performance art or whatever. But there's got to be a point to where it's not right. It's no, it's this. There's no way this performance art. And you see like old kanye pictures where like, and he was like anti-fascist or whatever, he's got a shirt with a nazi right, and now he's got one without the the x over the front of it.
Tim:It's wild, um.
Javier:So this has now become propaganda with a beat, it feels like if you want to go reference this, go back to our episode of the Rise and Fall of Kanye West.
Tim:He's also come out and said that he is, I believe, part of the KKK now.
Chad:Jesus Christ, so he was not. Kenan did an impression of Kanye on this week's SNL. He was so fucking good because Mike Myers is as himself going into an elevator and then Kanye gets, or Ye gets into the elevator with him with a little thing of nitrous and they talk about how they haven't seen each other since the whole President Bush doesn't like black people thing from back in the early 2000s. It was such a good skit, though it was pretty funny, because Mike Myers is like scared to be in an elevator alone with Kanye and he's like anyone, please get in the elevator. They're like we'll take the next one. It was such a good skit, it was pretty funny.
Tim:So Kanye is not misunderstood. He's not misunderstood, he's just monetizing outrage. That's my hot take on this. He's just monetizing outrage. I don't know if he fully believes this. Maybe he does, maybe I'm giving him too much benefit of the doubt that he actually doesn't believe this and he's just doubling down on. There's no such thing as bad press. All press is good press, right? I don't know, maybe I'm not, but the more he puts out there, the more people are looking into it. The more people are streaming, the more people are are giving him I don't know, but his, his.
Chad:I feel like his og fans are dropping them right because it's not, it's not good, it's not old kanye, it's not. And all he's doing is pulling in these like small time. They're just listening to it because it's the flavor of the week, type shit. So it's not going to be like long term exposure Well, exposure, yes, like he's going to be on the news fucking constantly, but not like long term, like actually liking his art.
Javier:So I'm very glad we're talking about Kanye right now, because I have a question to ask, and this is not about himself. Like him himself, let's say, like you saw somebody text you or messages you like, hey, your picture is on a thing and I saw it on the Internet. Like a picture of you is on there, like not a bad picture, but somebody's using your picture that you took and it's being it's online. Like what would you think?
Chad:Say this again what do you mean?
Tim:So you took a picture and someone else is using it.
Javier:You saw a picture of somebody online Somebody tells you they saw a picture of you online and they're like hey, bro, your picture's on this thing and it's funny, I'm just gonna okay. So I had a couple friends very cryptic. I had a couple of friends message me and they're like dude, your picture is on a thumbnail of a podcast about kanye and he's using your picture. It's his thumbnail and I'm like what the fuck? It was our cop friend.
Chad:Okay.
Javier:And another buddy of mine that I used to work with, and I go over there and I'm like what is he talking about? Sure as shit, Look at this guy shooting with.
Chad:Kanye. What the fuck. That's the picture of you meeting Kanye that one time yes.
Tim:Oh, that's wild.
Chad:It's got 146,000 views. Yeah, from six days ago.
Javier:Yes, and so I'm like what the fuck?
Chad:That's wild. So this is a podcast, someone else's podcast, so he's, I guess a shooter locally.
Javier:Don't eat this Locally. He's a guy. He's a Second Amendment guy.
Chad:Because Defender Outdoors, that's where he was Got it Okay.
Javier:And so he was saying like, well, he went in there and I was giving him the rules and he didn't shoot anything. Did you already get some of this?
Chad:Yeah.
Javier:This me, yeah, all you it's a sponge cake.
Tim:It's a bubble waffle. It's not very sweet. Be good with some syrup. That might be what that is. I was just doing it. Somebody ordered pancakes.
Javier:I just took the syrup. Nope, they were like, yeah, he was nice outside.
Chad:I'm just thinking so they're on there talking shit about Kanye.
Javier:Yeah.
Tim:Okay, gotcha, that's funny that your picture's on there. Yeah, I thought you were talking about the episode that we did and somehow they just took your face and was using that.
Chad:I was like that's wild. So they used the Defender Outdoors post and you were on that post.
Javier:Yeah.
Tim:Yeah on that post. Yeah, yeah, it was a picture I posted and they reposted it, yeah, yeah. So I think we're at a point now that if I think we should use this, this should be like our social media, or social media or social meter is, if alex jones begins to say, whoa, you need to chill to kanye, that's how we know like it's too far, because I mean, they're turning the freaking frogs. Gay, right, yeah, yeah. So I think that's something we need to look at. But, like Kanye has gone, so left field, right, we went from Jesus walks to goose-stepping beats. It's getting a bit ridiculous Dude.
Chad:when I was in Houston, I saw this guy that looked exactly like Alex Jones.
Tim:He probably was him.
Chad:I told Sarish. I was like holy fuck, I think that that's. I couldn't remember his name at the time. I was like that's the guy that Javier does a really good impression of on the show. And she's like what are you talking about? I was like the fucking weirdo, the guy that does all the shows and shit. And she's like. And so I had to look him up and I realized that he's bald now. So I know it wasn't him because this guy had hair, but I swear he looked just like Alex Jones three years ago, like the dude looks just fucking. It was wild, wasn't him?
Tim:So Kanye's career is now just a speed run to infamy, which is something that we all wanted to live in All three of us and the worst part is that we are all still watching it.
Chad:I'm not. I'm pretty checked out, to be honest. I'm not I'm watching it then.
Javier:I'm not interested in anything he does anymore, like if I see something he's trading somewhere. I'm like Racism, kkk, hitler.
Chad:My curiosity is not even going to win on this song. I don't even care. At first I'm like, oh, do I want to listen to it? And then immediately I was like, no, no, I do not. Why would I want to listen to that? You know what I mean? I don't know. All right, do you want to do?
Tim:it. No, I haven't listened to it. I have not listened to it. I haven't gone and tried. I want to. You know we're coming to a little bit towards the end of our show here. I hate my ass and I want to who. I want to bring up the. This is a Florida fiction and this is a segment.
Javier:Is this a game?
Tim:yes, this is a game. Florida, florida or fiction okay, brunch crimes and aquatic assaults, all right. So it's time for florida and fiction. I'm gonna read a headline. You guess if it's real or if it's made up on a bad edible. Okay, okay, all right. So, uh, round number one headline florida. Man turns iguanas into breakfast meat amid egg inflation. So he actually turns iguana eggs into breakfast. Uh, iguana eggs yeah, iguana eggs.
Chad:Okay, I think if it was just iguanas, I would say yes, iguana eggs.
Tim:I'm gonna say no I'm gonna say no too, that's actually real. I started uh harvesting iguana eggs and uh cooking them up I feel like that's a very small amount of.
Chad:I feel like it is too, but you know whenever eggs are so expensive all right, uh, florida man tried to marry dolphin for tax purposes uh, fake wait hold on say
Tim:it again florida, man try, don't be googling this I'm not. I'm not. Florida man tried to marry dolphin for tax purposes no, no all right, you're correct, that was fiction. Still less weird than half the shit that actually happens in tallahassee man does weird.
Javier:Now, Florida man does weird shit, but Florida man ain't fucking no dolphin.
Tim:Alright, so Florida man throws live gator through Wendy's drive-thru window.
Javier:Yes.
Tim:True, that is correct. Nice, okay, oh no, what just happened?
Speaker 6:Oh no.
Tim:Oh no, I accidentally opened up a whole new note. Oh yeah, oh no, oh no, I actually opened up a whole new note. Oh yeah, oh no, when was I?
Javier:Oh no, oh, I got my new license. Florida man, your real ID. Yes, my real ID. Look at it, dude, that thing came out like years ago.
Tim:Florida man attempts to sue Disney over PTSD from Haunted Mansion.
Javier:Yes.
Tim:What? Florida man attempts to sue Disney over PTSD from Haunted Mansion. No, you're saying no, there's ghosts around me. It is false. Yeah, raspberries, all right.
Javier:Florida man's going to they let me keep my headband on. I see that.
Chad:They ain't giving no shit.
Javier:I look like you have to leave your headband on. Yeah, I look like a Mexican duck dynasty guy.
Chad:That's exactly what you look like. Holy shit, that's a good comparison. Fuck my cousin.
Tim:All right, and to finish off with a separate segment. That's not Florida. This is going to be Holy Shit History.
Speaker 6:Okay, All right, so that was it on the Florida. I won one.
Tim:You won that. I got one up. I never win.
Chad:You always win those things, man. You're good at that shit. All right it's guessing.
Javier:most of the time it's always guessing. You're a better guesser than I am All right.
Tim:So for holy shit history, it's not a game. But I want to bring up a little bit of Pope trivia. Did you know? In 1897, in 897 AD, pope Stephen IV literally dug up the corpse of Pope Formos or Formosis whatever that other pope was who had been dead for nine months, and put him on trial.
Chad:Shut the fuck up.
Tim:It's true, right? Yes, it is true. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's history. This man touched children. So Pope Stephen, yeah, Pope Stephen IV, that's a regular ass name. It's history. This man touched children, so Pope.
Javier:Stephen.
Tim:yeah, Pope Stephen IV, that's a regular ass name or the V, I mean Literally dug up this corpse.
Javier:So you're telling me there were four other popes named Stephen.
Tim:I guess. Well, we're on Louis, though.
Chad:Whatever Leo Did y'all know that they choose the name based off of their the other popes, their background yeah, and who they were.
Javier:They're gonna kind of rain ass, right? Yeah, I didn't know that. So pope john paul the first, now pope john paul the second named himself after the first because he died really quick.
Chad:The first died like within a month. Oh wow, I think so. He did it just kind of out of like memorandum.
Tim:Yeah, got you so the reason why pope stephen, which is a wild name for pope stephen, pope jesse pope, uh, asshole.
Javier:No, that's not a name. Pope, jimmy Pope, jimmy Pope, dale Earnhardt V.
Tim:Can we get Dale into sainthood Supporting the wrong? So he dug him up and put him on trial for supporting the wrong political faction, which was the yeah.
Chad:So it was another empire that was over steven's, uh allies from uh spoleto this man said a pineapple on a pizza always I didn't realize they're so political too, like it's uh, I mean, when you think about it, like the president of the united states has probably some of the most power and or one power and at least one of the most well-known people across the world, right, but Pope is up there too. Like it's wild how much control they have, and so there, yeah, I never really thought about like the political piece so during the.
Tim:During the trial, the corpse was dressed in the popular robes, propped up in a chair and assigned a deacon to speak for him he wanted me to tell you, and this is fucked up man.
Chad:the old days were the best.
Tim:He was found guilty, stripped of titles, had his blessing fingers chopped off and was thrown in the Tiber River. The public hated it. Stephen was overthrown months later and strangled in prison.
Javier:Yeah, no shit, that is fucked up. It's almost as terrible. Men accusing women of being witches, like in Jamestown because, they didn't want to date them. This woman's a witch. She told me that I can masturbate or jump off a roof and chug four locos, so this was literally a Pope version of Weekend at Bernie's.
Tim:I feel like you know you just propped him up. This wasn't justice. It was a medieval roast with an actual corpse. Pope Stephen invented cancel culture by literally canceling a dead guy. This is why you always check the job description. Pope apparently includes corpse court literally canceling a dead guy. This is why you always check the jobs, the job, the job description. Pope apparently includes corpse court judge. It's the wildest thing that I've ever seen in, one of the wildest things in history. And we got a new pope and hopefully he doesn't dig up.
Javier:Uh, pope francis, I think we're okay he's like jimmy hoffa's body's buried in one of these buildings. He might actually know he might. He's a saint.
Tim:Yeah, all right, so I put the murder squad murders, that's all I got From the chat.
Chad:Did they have sunglasses back then Because?
Tim:that's what I feel, like you put the sunglasses on the Pope.
Chad:They like marionette the old Pope.
Javier:He's like a Muppet.
Tim:Somebody's got a hand up his ass so I didn't realize that the vatican had like a uh sabaro.
Javier:Well they, they paid.
Tim:Chad knows, he went over there no, they basically have like a, two sabaros. They have like a, like a, not a hotel, like a, an apartment. That is not really where the pope normally would stay, but like, like, because Pope Francis took a whole like vow of poverty or whatever he stayed in the poor people's, the poor Pope house.
Javier:Yeah, poor Pope house. We got two houses, one to reach up. I want a poor Pope.
Chad:He just sleeps in the Popemobile.
Tim:Yeah, I think so, francis. Was he actually changed the popemobile away from the bubble one because he felt like he wasn't connected to the people? He wanted to be part of people. And you know what?
Javier:nobody tried to assassinate him he just had a bunch of glory holes around it. He's like hey, who wants to get the clothes? I do not. I'm kidding, I'm so sorry.
Tim:All right, so we done with the Pope stuff. We're done with the Pope stuff. We're done with the episode stuff. We're done with the episode. The one thing before I want to close it out.
Chad:I want to go watch friendship with you guys. You mentioned it.
Tim:It looks so good it looks like one long episode of.
Chad:I think you should leave. I mean, come on, paul.
Javier:Rudd the trailer looks weird, though, cause it's like, oh, let's go watch the new marvel. And she's like my ex-boyfriend invited me out to drinks and I'm just like bitch, like really bitch.
Tim:But it feels like I think you should leave mixed with the room. Yeah.
Chad:Dude. I watched a movie that is room worthy.
Javier:Okay, so you brought this up about you watching that new weekend movie.
Chad:Obviously, boys know I'm a weekend fan. Yes, you are right, um. And so it was like it was the pre-release fan event right on last wednesday, and so we went. Did y'all ever watch the idol, the?
Javier:show I refuse to watch it.
Chad:It was fucking awful. It was so bad, like the acting, the storyline, the filmography, everything was just just horseshit and I was like dude learned his lesson. You know what I mean? He did? The idol. He fucked it up. Now he's coming up with a movie with a full album which is essentially the soundtrack. This has got it going on. It was horseshit. It was so bad. I wanted to like it, so much he had Jenna Ortega.
Javier:I'm tired of Jenna Ortega now because she's in everything. Yeah, I mean I would, yes, but I mean she's in everything.
Chad:And then also the Irish guy from Salt Burn.
Javier:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Chad:Yeah, those are the three main characters essentially, but it's so bad.
Javier:I think the real star of the film was the Weeknd's veneers because, that's the only thing everyone's talking about.
Chad:Yeah, there were parts that were okay, don't get me wrong. There were some really cool, like the music. At one point the camera's following him on stage. You kind of get the feel like you are in the middle of a crowd because he's playing himself in the movie, which also pissed me off, because then they're doing all these things. I'm like okay, so you're just being you.
Javier:Is she supposed to be Selena Gomez, or something?
Chad:No, no, but like I don't know, it just seemed, it seemed it. It seemed pretty like oh, it's very selfish, like what a dick, like he. Just it was basically a movie about himself by himself with his music. Parts of it talk about his music and breaking down what the song meant. Like it just seemed so like just vanity it's just vain, van vain as fuck.
Chad:And like, I like him until like I'd lost a lot of love for him because of the movie, to be honest with you. But that would be a good drink until it's funny movie and guess what? It won't be funny the whole thing. It'll just be a drink movie.
Tim:You're just gonna get drunk. Uh, christy says she wants to see it too. Um, christ, christy, I will extend the invite. If it's in Northeast Mall, herbie can stay home and take care of the kids.
Chad:Yeah, we need to do like a friendship movie.
Javier:We can definitely do that.
Chad:Invite everybody that listens to the podcast, all the friends.
Tim:Yeah, I'm going to double check, but I believe I saw it playing at Northeast Mall.
Chad:That would be awesome, because the only ones I saw were like fucking Dallas and that would suck Right.
Tim:And then I jumped ahead to Monday and I was like Northeast, I'm here yeah.
Chad:I only looked at this weekend, so you're probably right. That would be great. I'm completely down and it's Memorial Day, oh shit, oh, that might be rough.
Tim:Going to the moon Going to the moon.
Chad:No, I'm not going to the moon on Monday, going to the movie Our boy's got a, jd's got a thing.
Tim:Oh yeah. Oh yeah, the Crawfords yeah. Might not work, huh.
Chad:Maybe not Monday, but definitely next week. I'm down.
Tim:If it's playing there, because I think it's not playing everywhere in every theater. That's the thing.
Chad:Yeah, let's figure it out. We Catch us on social media. We'll see if anyone else wants to meet us up there.
Tim:We'll do a post and just say, hey, we're going to be here, yeah, here at the time. And.
Javier:I guess man shout out to George Wendt he died today. I never saw Cheers. Where'd he go? He died.
Chad:He went.
Javier:He went to hell, I mean heaven, I don't know. So cheers.
Tim:Cheers to you, George. I don't have a drink, but you know.
Chad:Cheers, put up a cup and shout out to our caller today. That was fun. Yeah, shout out. Maddox Appreciate you. Maddox, if you want to do so, please make sure you follow us on all things social media. At the Funky Panther, you can find it on thefunkypanthercom Call text.
Tim:Leave us a voicemail, your mom can come to watch the movie too. Oh, she can come, alright.
Chad:She said bring the gummies. She'll bring the gummies. Alright, stay good everybody.
Tim:I'm Chad, I'm Javier and I'm disappointed. And we are the Funky Panther.
Chad:Three best friends and anyone can have all we love. Bye.
