In this episode of My Inner Torch, I explore the actor Anthony Hopkins’ recent writing about relationships. Hopkins advises letting go of those who are not ready to love or change, emphasizing the importance of stopping efforts for those who do not reciprocate. He highlights the significance of valuing one’s time and energy, advocating for creating a life with joy and commitment. Hopkins emphasizes the need to surround oneself with compatible and healthy individuals, rather than investing in toxic relationships. The message underscores the importance of protecting one’s energy and prioritizing genuine connections. Can you relate his words to your relationship with your Cluster B?
In this episode of My Inner Torch, I explore the actor Anthony Hopkins’ recent writing about relationships. Hopkins advises letting go of those who are not ready to love or change, emphasizing the importance of stopping efforts for those who do not reciprocate. He highlights the significance of valuing one’s time and energy, advocating for creating a life with joy and commitment. Hopkins emphasizes the need to surround oneself with compatible and healthy individuals, rather than investing in toxic relationships. The message underscores the importance of protecting one’s energy and prioritizing genuine connections. Can you relate his words to your relationship with your Cluster B?
Sometimes you have to hear it from somebody else, somebody who is respected in the community, somebody you look up to before the truth rings through. Welcome to this podcast of My Inner Torch. Well somebody that I admire is the actor Anthony Hopkins and Anthony Hopkins recently released something that he had written, which I think really relates to our relationships with our cluster B.
These are brutal words. They strike deep in my heart and when I read it, I thought, you know, I've got to share this with you and I hope it resonates with you as deeply as it did with me. So Anthony Hopkins, of course, he's an Oscar award-winning actor. What an incredible man and I don't know what inspired him to write this, but it makes complete utter sense to me and I hope I can do it justice reading it to you. Let go of people who are not ready to love you. This is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having difficult conversations with people who don't want to change. Stop showing up for people who are not interested in your presence. I know your instinct is to do everything possible to gain the appreciation of those around you, but it's an impulse that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health. When you start fighting for a life with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you to that place.
It doesn't mean you have to change who you are. It means you have to let go of people who aren't ready to be with you. If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you are not doing yourself a favor by continuing to offer them your energy and your life. Truth is you ain't for everybody and everybody ain't for you. This is what makes it so special when you find people you have friendship with or mutual love. You will know how precious it is because you have experienced what is not. There are billions of people on this planet and many of them you will find at your level of interest and commitment. Maybe if you stop showing up, they won't look for you.
Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship ends. Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will stay dark for weeks. That doesn't mean you ruin the relationship. It means the only thing sustaining it was the energy you only gave to keep it.
That's not love. That's attachment. It's giving a chance to those who don't deserve it.
You deserve so much more. The valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy as both are limited. The people and things you give your time and energy to will define your existence. When you realize this, you start to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, activities or spaces that don't suit you and shouldn't be near you. You will start to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else. Make your life a safe haven where only people compatible with you are allowed. You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for convincing them to do better. It's not your job to exist for people and give them your life. You deserve real friendships, true commitments and a complete love with healthy and prosperous people. Decision to distance yourself from toxic people will give you the love, esteem, happiness and protection you deserve.
Words from Anthony Hopkins. And I hope you listened to each word and you understood what Anthony Hopkins is trying to tell us. He single-handedly in this paragraph, in this missive that he wrote addressed a relationship and our desire to be with Cluster Bees and telling us it's a warning. It's a public service announcement to put our energy where it is appreciated. I always say in most of my podcasts, there are other people out there who will appreciate, who will reflect back the qualities that you bring to a relationship. You can't convince a Cluster Bee to do what you want, what you need from a relationship.
They just won't. They're not capable of it.
And that's why I did a podcast a few weeks ago that really addressed the fact that maybe we are really expecting too much from our Cluster Bee. Maybe we are asking too much of them when they are not capable of existing in a normal functioning relationship, a mutual satisfaction. There isn't. It's all you trying to satisfy them. It's not symbiotic at all. It's not fair to you to try and convince them of your worthiness because it will never happen. And that's what I've done for so many years. So many years I thought, well, maybe if I do this, that, and the other, my wife of over 21 years will love me.
She'll think I'm a good person and I can't do anything. Even if I had a hundred million dollars, that happiness would last for all but maybe a minute or two. That's the reality of it. And I think the more we start to understand that, the more we can heal, the more we can feel like we can be, we can be better people in the sense that we can make ourselves available to those people who will love and respect us.
I'm convinced of it. I know that if we have low self-esteem and we're scared and we figure, you know what? I'm just going to kind of hang out with this person because maybe I can't find somebody else. That's extremely flawed thinking, folks. It really is. It's handing the power to the cluster B saying, I don't really think I'm worthy.
Maybe you'll tell me one day that I am. And so I'm going to hang around and wait for that. And I'm going to put up with your abuse until which time you recognize me for the good person that I am.
And they will never, never do that. On that, I can be sure. A narcissist is not going to tell you, you're a wonderful person.
Maybe during love bombing, sure. A cluster B is not going to do that. If you become secure in the relationship, then you're going to see that the relationship is not worth having. So they have to keep you off balance. Borderlines have to project their insecurities, their rage onto you. And if you accept it, then that is your decision. But I know that there is a better person in you that recognizes if you're listening to this podcast, My Inner Torch and other podcasts out there, that you see yourself as a better person. There is self-value and that is the beginning of the healing process. When you can rise above the relationship that you're in and see the forest for the trees. The cluster B doesn't want you to do that. They sure as heck don't want you to do that because then maybe you see through the fog.
Maybe you start to see beyond the mask. And that's where I'm at right now. My Inner Torch at gmail.com. It's always a pleasure to hear from you. And when you get a chance, please leave a review on whichever podcast you happen to be listening to My Inner Torch on. It really does help spread the word. And at the end of the day, that is my mission with this podcast and over 170 episodes of My Inner Torch now and counting.
New episodes uploaded each and every Friday at 10 a.m. Eastern Standard Time. We can do better. Listen back or read the transcript of this podcast that I'm now providing for each podcast going forward. See the words from Anthony Hopkins. Understand them, read them, repeat them, wash, rinse, repeat. So that it kind of brings you the understanding of where you may be, how you may be behaving in your relationship and making yourself a better person.
Because it begins with you. Not the cluster B. I say to you, be well and in whatever you do, be good. This has been my Inner Torch.