
My Inner Torch
My Inner Torch offers direct and personal insight with help for those of us in a relationship with someone who is undiagnosed/diagnosed with a Cluster B Personality Disorder. This is a safe place to come for words of inspiration that draw from my personal experiences and is produced to gain understanding and to find direction as we navigate through the often difficult relationships with those we love who suffer with a Cluster B personality disorder that includes BPD and NPD. PLEASE NOTE: This podcast is NOT for those who suffer with these disorders. This podcast is for survivors of these challenging and difficult relationships.
My Inner Torch
It's NOT Possible!
In this podcast, I want to share my difficult journey of coming to terms with the reality of relationships involving individuals with Cluster B personality disorders, such as narcissism and borderline personality disorder. After nearly two decades of marriage to a covert narcissist, I felt a deep pain in realizing that a normal, loving relationship was unattainable. The emotional turmoil I experienced included trauma bonds, sleepless nights, and overwhelming feelings of anger and hate, all compounded by my denial of my wife’s true nature. Living with someone like this felt like being in a state of purgatory—I appeared happy on the surface, but inside, I felt profoundly unfulfilled and neglected.
A pivotal moment for me was when I decided to remove my wedding ring. This simple act symbolized my break from an unhealthy attachment and my acknowledgment that the relationship was not what I had believed it to be. I learned the hard way not to hold onto the hope that manipulative partners would change. I realized that emotional manipulation could severely damage my sense of self.
Through this experience, I understood the importance of self-reflection and recognizing my motivations. I realized that maintaining a typical relationship with someone who has a Cluster B personality disorder is often unrealistic. By acknowledging that past positive experiences might have been manipulative and recognizing the controlling behaviors of narcissists, I was able to shift my focus from my wife to myself. This shift ultimately led to healthier emotional outcomes for me, allowing me to reclaim my identity and find a sense of peace. Onward!