Sober Vibes Podcast
Welcome to Sober Vibes, where sobriety meets empowerment! Hosted by sober coach, author, and mom Courtney Andersen—who’s been thriving in her alcohol-free life since 8/18/2012—this podcast is your go-to space for real talk, proven strategies, and inspiring stories from women who are redefining what it means to live without alcohol.
Each week, Courtney dives deep into the topics that matter most—from conquering cravings and navigating social settings to rebuilding confidence and finding joy in sobriety. Whether you’re newly sober, in long-term recovery, or simply curious about life without alcohol, the Sober Vibes Podcast delivers the support, insights, and encouragement you need.
Join a like-minded community and discover how sobriety can unlock a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. Don’t just get sober—let’s thrive together!
Sober Vibes Podcast
5 Tips to Rediscover Who You Are In Sober Life
Episode 193: 5 Tips to Rediscover Who You Are In Sober Life
In episode 193 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen discusses how getting sober is discovering who you are now without alcohol. Courtney empowers you to take control of your journey and enjoy it.
What you will learn in this episode:
- 5 Tips to Help Rediscover Yourself in Sobriety
- Empowering you to take control of your sobriety journey
- Setting new life goals
- Understanding life will never be again, but understanding you can now create the life you want
New Sober Breakthrough Mini Coaching Session
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Thank you, hey, welcome to the Silver Vibes Podcast. I am your host, courtney Anderson. You are listening to episode 193, the solo episode this week, and today I'm going to be talking about rediscovering who you are now in sobriety. All right, this is a big one, and I just want to say this I do believe that you can rediscover yourself after many life changes, and I think that is a must, because and I have learned this in the past couple of years of after and getting into my mom era right when it's just like, oh, okay, after I believe that you hit such a life change and sometimes these life changes you don't. Some life changes it's like you don't feel all that great. So, after becoming a mom I'm sure, too, dads have gone through this as well there's an adjustment into parenthood and also, too, if you got in a divorce, somebody has died. Right Like this is the type of life changes that I'm talking about. Sobriety is a big one, and I want to give you five tips on how to rediscover yourself specifically in sobriety, but I really think that you can use these tips for other life changes, because it's all kind of the same. It just looks different with what process you're going through Again, whether you're grieving something, you're adjusting to a new. It's something so big life events. Okay, with alcohol specifically and this is what this is beautiful about sobriety and how I want to come, and have been trying to come from a place of fucking empower yourself. Empower yourself to make the necessary changes where you're going to feel better, because alcohol clouds the judgment. Alcohol really puts a dimmer on things. Right, so you are going to wake up in this period, and especially through a few different things specifically, where you're going to wake up with yourself and be like huh, okay, first of all, some things aren't cool. You're going to wake up and you might hate the fucking career you're in. You might wake up and I'm not saying you're going to when I say wake up, I'm going to. This is eventually within time. Okay of your sobriety in life.
Speaker 1:You could wake up and be like I fucking hate my husband. I hate this son of a bitch. We are just not compatible, like. We have nothing in common. We've been together since we were were 19 and we're just not growing together. I have a lot of resentments. Can I work this out? I'm not too sure. Or can I move forward?
Speaker 1:Okay, you might wake up and be like I want to cut my hair short. You get the draft of what I'm saying, but you, there's going to be some big changes right. Or you, you're going to wake up and be like I love my partner more than anything. Or like, oh wow, I really love my career, something, but something's going to change. Or you might even wake up, too, and be like dude, this like the style I've been rocking for all these years, this is not. This is, this is not my vibe anymore. I'm not feeling this. This feels like my old drinking self.
Speaker 1:Same thing, too, with friends, because so many people are worried about with the friends and there's such an importance on friends. But I want to say this from your standpoint. And again, another empowering moment here is take this as where you might wake up with your friends and be like you're kind of a dick too, like you might be very. This one friend in your life might be very one-sided, and you didn't start seeing this until you got sober. And then, therefore, you're like, yeah, I just don't want people like that in my life, and that is okay. Not everything is going to be the same that it was 20 years ago, because you were in that mindset back for your drinking. Remember, drinking alcohol really studs our emotional growth. So what was once okay is not going to be okay when you wake up and make such a massive life change. It is a life change, deciding to let go of alcohol and start healing and recovery. It's a process, and one that's going to better yourself. So here's five steps you can rediscover yourself in sobriety, and this is what I want you to understand.
Speaker 1:And I even had to go through this process in my motherhood journey, especially, too, in the process of quote unquote, getting my body back. And when I was trying to do that, I'm like I came to the realization because I looked at this after becoming a mom, the same that I looked when I quit drinking. I'm like this was a big life event, and particularly one that, even though I love my kid to pieces, I could not imagine life without him. But I didn't feel good you guys know I've explained it before with my postpartum OCD, gaining a bunch of weight and just not feeling good. So in that I'm like, okay, there's no going backwards and I know that right. So now I have to rediscover who I am now, with this new role, with this new title with this new part of my new identity. And when you become sober, that is part of your new identity, because you are not the old Courtney who was still drinking. You're not drinking anymore. That was that you got to shed that identity, right? So, same thing you quit drinking and you rediscover who you are without alcohol, and there's that transition. So it is very transitional and you just have to keep looking at this as a good thing and that it's not a negative, because you don't want the same old, same old anymore. So, number one reflect on your values. So you really have to meet yourself with where you're at right now. I think that's what I was trying to say, but I was having a moment of my brain where it like drew black. You have to meet yourself with who you are, with where you are at right now, with 52-year-old fucking Sue, not 25-year-old Sue right With 41, almost 42-year-old Courtney. I'm going to meet myself with where I'm at right now. Life has changed, right? You are not the same from 21 to 25, even two. Here's a great story, and then I'll get on with my tips.
Speaker 1:After I had Colin and this is what people I always hear about women having the shed when they have a baby, that postpartum hair loss. I didn't have that. But you know, what I had was like this fucking grease, grease. I had this grease buildup and the girl that now does my hair told me about it. She's like that's normal and I was like I mean, it took me like a year to get this grease out.
Speaker 1:My hair has not really been the same, as you moms know, but before I found the girl that I've gone to the last couple of years, there was one chick that I went to and she said it to me straight because I was like yeah, I wet my hair like back when I was like 33. And she's like okay, I'm going to tell you something right now. She's like oh God. She's like yeah, you're not that age anymore, so your hair is not going to be exactly like that. She's like and you've aged, there's been some stress. Like that. She's like and you've aged, there's been some stress. We need to really get a color with where what's going to look good on and what's actually going to process and work. And I was like all right, like I respected her for saying that, because that's what I want to say to you now.
Speaker 1:It's like you're, you're. You're not at the same age, you're not at the same maturity level. The shit has changed, life has happened, there has been some stressors, life has lifed, and now let's move forward and start properly rediscovering with where you were at at insert the age. So reflect on your values, take time to reassess what truly matters to you and this is my in this. You might not have done this in a long time, right? Because again, what mattered to you at 25 is not going to matter to you at 45. It's just there's too much that has gone on and a little bit more. You're a little bit older and you see what truly is important. So what principles guide you to your decision? Now that alcohol isn't in the mix, I want you to journal this is kind of like a little mini workshop, one too. Journal about your core values, help you identify what drives you, and you can realign with your sense of purpose, your sense of purpose and sense of well-being. But that's the whole key here. You have to realign what feels good with you now, and then that way you can move forward, okay, in this rediscovery process.
Speaker 1:Number two explore new interests, without alcohol occupying your time and energy. Explore new hobbies and interests. Find a hobby. Find a hobby that does not associate with you with booze. If you're like I don't know what to do, take to Google, like I did in those first couple weeks, or go back to your childhood a shit that you liked doing in your childhood.
Speaker 1:Did you like to roller skate or slash roller blade? I could never stop on those roller plates. But if you like to roller skate, get some goddamn roller skates and put them on and get out there and find some simple joy in that right. Like, is there something you've always wanted to do? But you didn't do it because you kept saying you would do it next week. You kept. You know I'll do it next Monday, I'll start my next Monday, blah, blah, blah. We all know that story. And you didn't because you have just kept drinking.
Speaker 1:Honestly, you're going in with it with a new set of eyes and a new perspective. So you have the time now to really start figuring out what's going to fill up your soul and what you want to do and what's a hobby for you now, and insert the age you're at. Like, does that feel good? And these hobbies and this new shit for you to do is actually could be very relaxing for you, right? Maybe now it's like God, I'm going to enjoy taking baths now because I have the time. I don't have kids in the house coming in all the time when I'm in the bathroom. I mean, at what age is a little dictator going to stop trying to come into the bathroom? When I'm going to the bathroom, you know what I mean. So is this, when I'm going to be an empty nester, that I finally get my bathroom to myself? You get what I'm saying, ladies, but the thing is that's what I'm saying. So baths could be fun for you now, and that could be something new where that helps you relax.
Speaker 1:So, even though you might have tried it in your active relationship with alcohol, I want you to try it sober. Try it sober and let me know how that feels, because it's going to feel and look different for you. I mean hiking. Maybe now you get into therapy walks. Maybe now you get into exercise, because you don't have the excuse anymore to be like, well, I'm too hungover, I don't have the time. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, we've all been there. You say you've never drinking again, and then you drink.
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Speaker 1:Number three reconnect with your body. Sobriety gives you a chance to tune into your physical well-being. Practice mindful movement like yoga, meditation or exercise, as I was saying, and appreciate your body for what it can do rather than punishing it for what it can't. This connection fosters self-awareness and confidence. Start moving your body and start moving in different ways. Maybe now it's like, all right, I'm going to go to check out Pilates, right? Or again, maybe it's just going on hikes and you making that a part of your weekly routine and a part of your weekly quote, unquote church Like that is what you have to do to continue to live your alcohol-free life, but that's what feels good for you mind, body and soul. So you want to keep doing that.
Speaker 1:But honestly, in the past year and a half since, I've been extremely consistent on walking I mean, I've said it on these episodes before I fucking live for these walks. Today I didn't get to do one, but tomorrow I already thought about it like an hour ago. I'm like man, I can't wait to get out there, and so I'm not even running or anything, I'm just walking. But I get very excited and I like I'm like yeah, because I love the way that I feel afterwards and it's become a part of my weekly mental thing, and also, too, when I had that back issue. After I gave birth. I had this terrible back issue for a year where it left me some days in bed like could not move, could barely stand up some days or even sit. And so now when I'm walking I'm like I'm just so appreciative that my body can move, that I am not fucking laying down in bed for two days in pain. If you've had back problems or any type of pain, you get what I'm saying, because that completely takes out you as a person, your personality, but just pain in general is the pits. So I look forward to those walks and because it's more of the thing of like what? Now I'm grateful that my body can just move. So rediscover some type of reconnection with your body. Or you get into meditation, you get into some breath work. That all, all of that of what I just listed out too, will help with your nervous system, it will help with coping, it will help make you feel better, it will help you not want to reach with alcohol and if you've had a bad day like you know what, I'm just going to go fucking have a therapy walk, put on some tunes and just walk through my subdivision like an angry monster.
Speaker 1:Number four build authentic relationships. I think this one might be my new favorite, because this is going back to empowering you of like. When you get sober, you actually do see who your real friends are and you gain a perspective of like, okay, what matters. I was a person who used to have lots of people around up in the mix out all the time people wanting to hang out, people calling, texting, all of that and when I got sober it got quiet and that was okay with me because I had to get quiet in order to make this thing stick. But in that I realized that what became important to me was a handful of good friends and more quality time with those good friends. Right, and even now, because I don't I mean, with the stage of life I've been in in the last couple of years, it's not that I'm whooping it up every weekend, but I getting out twice a month to go see girlfriends. It's enough for me and I'm fine with that, because when I'm with these girlfriends, it's quality time that I am seeking, and I understand the difference over the quality versus the quantity type of thing right, and so I want you to, in this new stage of your life and rediscovering a view and like really evaluate who you want around, even if all of your friends are partiers, right, and you're looking for new pals.
Speaker 1:Write what you're looking for in a friendship down on a piece of paper or in your journal. You know how people manifest partners. Do that with friends, do that with what type of relationships you're wanting. Write it down, say it out loud and it will eventually happen to you One thousand percent. You might want to strengthen some of your relationships that you have and again, there might be relationships that you are now seeing where you're like this is not I'm not down with this anymore Like I, I kind of see a person for who they are and I I don't care to invest that much more time and you don't need to sit down with somebody and have like with somebody and have like tell them 101 things like of how they're a shitty person. You just kind of just some relationships just kind of fizzle out. But that is life, because not all of these relationships are going to go with you till the end. Same thing happens in relationships where you might just wake up one day with a partner and be like we're just not the same. I've really come to I know I said this in a couple episodes like I have a different outlook on marriage and if Matt and I make it to the end, that will be one of the most rewarding things that I've done in my life.
Speaker 1:One of the hardest things Relationships are hard, marriages are hard, but I do believe that at some point we should kind of just like celebrate more of. I don't look at divorce as such a bad thing and maybe I'm just fucked up, but my parents got married or got divorced when I was seven, and so I guess I come from that but understand as an adult that sometimes relationships just don't work out and that is okay, right, but you should still celebrate if there was. I still think couples should definitely fucking co-parent. Well, that's where I think that the people because I never had that with co-parenting I mean my parents were assholes to one another and I wish that was different.
Speaker 1:It's okay if something doesn't work out because you woke up and you just realized you're not the one for me anymore, right? Especially, too, if you're with somebody who is a heavy drinker and you're trying to fucking better yourself. I just think that it is okay. Yes, absolutely. If a relationship failed. I don't even want to say fail. If a relationship didn't work out, yes, grieve it and go through those stages, because that's still a stage of grief. But I just don't think that it's with divorce, it's not the end all be all. There's life.
Speaker 1:And if you listen to some people, they say that too, where they're like I knew I was going to be okay, I just had to go through it and do, follow the signs and know what was the best thing. And even, too, you might be like well, what if there's kids involved? Listen, kids are going to pick up if you're in a shitty marriage or not, in a loveless marriage. This conversation is going to way far left today. You guys just have to bear with me. The little dictator has been sick the last couple of days. His first preschool crud two weeks in. We got it. So I haven't really slept the past couple nights.
Speaker 1:So I'm trying to make this as best that I can, but that's what I'm saying. And relationships, they're not all going to go at the end with you, because everybody evolves Not everybody, but mature. If you want to evolve, you're going to evolve and you're going to realize that some people just don't and they want to be stuck there and that is okay for them, but it's not going to be okay for you because you are changing the game and living an alcohol-free life, healing, going on a recovery journey and you want people around you that are going to give what you give, because relationships are a 50-50 deal and I have come a long way with a lot of my relationships. But I have also understood and now come from a place like you get what you give, so you want to like we love, we love. You're going to be a dick. All right, let's be a dick. You know what I mean. Like because I don't. I don't have time anymore to sit around, nor do I want to to sit around and analyze, psychoanalyze other people and then assume shit that I did something wrong. Those days are over and I want those days to be over for you too, because it's at the end of the day, it's just not worth it, especially if you do have good people in your life. Focus on those people. I hope that relationship set building authentic relationship segment just helped you and it was not a complete cluster.
Speaker 1:Okay, number five set new life goals. Perfect Goals. Slash intention. Sobriety opens up endless possibilities for your future? Honestly, it truly does. I can't ever tell you, like never in my wildest years, when I was at fucking day two of my sober journey, I was like man, I'm like, just get me through another day sober. But because I continued and everybody's shit's going to look different, right, but because I kept choosing another day alcohol-free, the world did end up opening up for me and the possibilities did open up for me because I was not in a self-hatred spiral anymore and hurting myself and matching that negative energy by putting something negative into my body. So set these new life goals.
Speaker 1:Maybe, fuck, you do want to write a book. Maybe you want to run a 5K. Maybe you want to go balls to the wall and do one of those Ironman competitions. Maybe you want to put yourself back into college and get a degree. Maybe you want to adopt a child, right, like. All of these possibilities are endless for you and you can do it because you have this clarity and you are in the right frame of mind to want to change your life for the better and will be able to do it. So spend some time envisioning the life you want. Set goals that align with the person who you are now and the life you want to lead, whether that's again career advancement, personal growth or learning a new skill. The sky is the limit, you guys. So I just want to let you know that sobriety is an opportunity for self-discovery and again, stop comparing yourself to who you were five, ten, shit even a year ago, because a lot can change in a year. So stop comparing yourself to who you were a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago, twenty years ago your fucking 14-year-old self. We're not there anymore. You're not there anymore. You're not there anymore. What you are there is today, in the now.
Speaker 1:At insert, whatever age you are, there's a lot that has happened and it's just a process for you to rediscover who you are. In my rediscovering process in the last year, after my burnout cycle like even two some of my clothes I'm like this isn't even my style anymore. I want a different style and I'm having fun with that of dressing a little bit different than I have ever had in wearing like gold jewelry. I was never into gold, you guys, I was always silver, but I'm like I want to have some fun with my style and cutting my hair a little bit shorter and looking at things differently. That is a rediscovery process. So, and even, too, making sure that I connect with my friends on a monthly basis, like that became very important to me more this year than it has in a long time.
Speaker 1:So, and the goals that I want to do going forward, that is what you got to write out again. Envision it and that's good. Right, you'll be good, you will be good. But the rediscovery process have fun with it, and I think that that's where. Have fun with it and empower yourself with it. And once you start empowering yourself with it, that mindset shifts and things look a little bit brighter.
Speaker 1:Even, too, in the rediscovery process, if you're like, I don't want to talk to anybody, don't talk to anybody. If that aligns with who you are right now, that is okay. So, because we're not on planet earth to make a bunch of other people happy. If you don't want to fucking deal with your family in this upcoming 2024 holiday season and you don't want to go to 25 different houses in a matter of two days, don't go. It does not align with you, it does not make you feel good. You have two days off and you would rather just stay at home and fucking watch the Grinch and drink mocktails and maybe have an ugly cry. If that is what you want to do, then that is what you want to do and that is okay, and I just want you to be in that empowering decision Empowering decision for yourself. So, as always, let me know if this episode helped you today. Shoot me a message on my Instagram DMs or send me an email, sobervibes at gmailcom. If you haven't yet, please rate, review and subscribe to the show.
Speaker 1:Also, too, I wanted to announce that I do have a new coaching package that I just came up.
Speaker 1:I told you guys. Now that the dictator is in school, my creativeness is coming back and I can execute the stuff I have on my list of what I want to do with the Sober Vibes community. So I do have there it's a mini coaching session, so it's called Sober Breakthrough, and what you will do is fill out a application not an application, I'm sorry a questionnaire, and this is to help you quit drinking alcohol and or emotional sobriety, because I get asked about that a lot too and you will fill out this application, I will record a video, send it to you within a three day, three business days, and then that is your money, your mini coaching, and that is currently $37. So I would highly recommend it if you are stuck. If you're stuck and just need a little kick in the ass and a redirection of what you should do, you can check it out in the show notes below. It is going to be called Sober Breakthrough and, as always, thank you for listening. Keep on trucking and have a good day.
