Sober Vibes Podcast

5 Sneaky Ways Drinking Can Sneak Back In and How to Stay on Track

Courtney Andersen Season 5 Episode 200

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Episode 200: 5 Sneaky Ways Drinking Can Sneak Back In and How to Stay on Track

In episode 200 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen talks about five sneaky ways drinking can sneak back in and how to stay on track. Courtney shares her top five and coaches you through another day of not drinking alcohol.

What You Will Learn in This Episode:

  • Celebrating 200 Episodes
  • 5 Sneaky Ways Drinking Can Sneak Back In
  • How to Stay on Track and go another day without alcohol 

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Speaker 1:

Hey, welcome to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host and sober coach, courtney Anderson, and you are listening. You ready for this one Episode 200. 200 episodes. I cannot believe it. I really, truly can't, because there was one period of time I was like, can I even make it to like 150, right, like even to 100. It's a lot Like. Podcasting is wonderful. I love it. I love it because I always wanted my own little talk show, right, a radio show, perhaps when I was younger. So this is fun. This is really it's fun. It's a lot of hard work. That's why you guys know I take breaks. We're here at 200 motherfucking episodes of the Sober Vibes podcast.

Speaker 1:

Coming from, a person who did not like the sound of their own voice got made fun of it. So this has definitely been a nice self-esteem booster for myself. And I want to say this to you of truly, truly, truly, it is what the gurus say, what quote unquote they say it's like, once you get past, when you step outside your comfort zone and start putting yourself out there in a way, there is no better self-confidence because then you're proving to it, you're building that self-confidence and building up your self-esteem and being like fuck, yeah, I can do some hard things. I can keep this going. I always get a kick because I just had a consultation for this podcast company and he was like well, there is and I've heard it throughout the years from other sober podcasters too where they're like there's so many. You know it is a saturated topic and I've never looked at that as a bad thing right Like I'm like well, people are gonna like who they like they're gonna relate to who they relate to. I mean, that's anything you could say that about the business world or whatnot, like what. I'm gonna keep this going and keep talking and helping good people in the world and maybe bring in a little bit of laughter along the way. So thank you so much for all that have been here since day one and have supported the show, whether it is you just tuning in and pressing play, leaving a review, purchasing my book, we've done a lot together in 200 episodes.

Speaker 1:

If you have become a one-on-one client or just downloaded my 30-Day Sober, not Boring calendar, or you follow Sober Vibes Instagram page, I truly, truly, truly appreciate it and I'm glad you're here and I'm glad that this podcast has helped you in your journey. It means the world, like I said that you just press play. You came across that fantastic logo because it is and you're like what's this, what's this bitch? Have to say so I truly, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate it, and I know my sister does too. I do have to apologize, I didn't realize. If you're new here, welcome Welcome, and thank you for tuning in and just know that there's 199 episodes you should catch up on. But going back.

Speaker 1:

So if you're new here, my sister and I do a show within a show called Living on the LH. We did a three-part series about the demons who are narcissists and I did not realize my sister and I talked for an hour and 20 minutes on that last one. I am so sorry. We trauma dumped on you guys about our parents. I have to laugh about it because you got to keep on laughing to keep your sanity. But I told her that the next day I was like Kim. I think we just trauma dumped. But that's our truth, that's from our perspective. That is what has happened to us, and you go through highs and lows with the stuff, with your parents, and you either love them or you hate them, or it's a complicated relationship.

Speaker 1:

But I want to say thank you, too, for the feedback on that episode, because so far there's been a lot of you who have appreciated that particular one, a lot of you who have appreciated that particular one. So today I'm going to actually keep this short and sweet to balance it off from last week's hour and 20 minute conversation and to I have a guest next week. We spent a lot of time together, too, talking. That will be out and that's a great episode too. So I am gonna share five sneaky ways to relapse and how to protect your sobriety. If you're not on my email list, I highly encourage you to get on my email list, especially with my Sunday sessions. Those emails, those are good and a lot of people are enjoying those. So this one went out, I believe, or maybe this one went out on my Wednesday happy hour one sober happy hour, if you will.

Speaker 1:

But I wanted to make a podcast. I know I've talked a lot about relapse prevention, but this is a good one and a nice reminder, especially too, because my intention this year, as with my solo episodes, was to keep you alcohol free and to help and encourage, and sometimes you need to hear my bullshit rants. They're not really bullshit, but you know what I'm saying. You need to hear these rants to condition your mind, because this is when it comes to the road of sobriety and living alcohol-free. It really is a conditioning, and I say this to one-on-one clients, where I'm always like you're about to get conditioned by me in a healthy way. But that's also why, too, I'm stepping my game up and have been working on more coaching certifications, and I'm currently doing one. I'm doing a meditation and breathwork one, but also I'm doing this other one of cognitive behavioral techniques. I can't do the therapy because I'm not a therapist, but I can introduce and become certified in cognitive behavioral techniques, because so much of this to continue to live an alcohol-free life is about mindset, and this is what I've been chatting about in these 200 episodes a lot about mindset and a lot of why my stuff is the way it is. It's because of needing to have a growth mindset in this and not being stuck. Anyways, I will let you know when that certification happens.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about these five sneaky ways, okay, and this coming out November 7th. So today I'm just going to say this real quick I really have the it's voting day. I'm recording this on Tuesday, november 5th, okay, and so I know I don't know what's going to happen the next two days, and it's very heavy here in the United States right now and I know a lot of people are probably on political fatigue. I quite honestly am. If one more person texts me like how did these people get your phone number? I did not consent to that. That's what I want to say to these people. Stop texting me Like.

Speaker 1:

I understand this is a very big deal, however, so I just want to add into that like listen, whatever happens, just you got to have some faith. Whatever happens, that it's going to be okay. That's all I'm going to keep telling myself. Whatever way you, a lot of people aren't going to be happy. A lot of people are going to be disappointed. Whichever way this goes, a lot of people aren't going to be happy. A lot of people are going to be disappointed. Whichever way this goes.

Speaker 1:

And if you're struggling, where this is going to jeopardize your sobriety, I highly recommend that you reach out for help and that you can only control you right. We all have our duty to go and vote and do what you need to do, and that is what you can control. You can control going to the polls and voting right. Like. Also, too, if one more person tells me to go vote, I'm like I've had it. That's what I'm saying the politics in the US of what they now are in 2024, I think there's a lot more people out there who are over this, so I'm happy that we can move on. And whoever becomes the president of the United States, just like, please keep on trucking, okay, and do right by the American people. That's what I'm going to say on that. So I hope that, if you are needing this episode because of what has panned out in the past couple of days, that this episode is coming up on your podcast feed at the right moment.

Speaker 1:

So five sneaky ways relapse can happen and how we are going to protect your motherfucking sobriety. All right. Number one overconfidence. This is a good one. Thinking you've got this and no longer need to be cautious can be risky. Staying humble and aware is key. Stay humble, stay humble, stay humbled. I have humbled myself and I still continue to humble myself, even on my sober anniversaries. When I wake up and think back to drinking days and being like oh days and being like oh man, like waking up on that morning, august 18th of 2012. And like that's a place I don't want to ever be.

Speaker 1:

And continuously throughout this journey, continuously getting the help that I needed at that time, right, like so, if you need to now go to therapy because you're in your fourth year, I had somebody reach out to me and being like, I'm now experiencing a lot of anxiety on my fourth year. I'm four years sober. This anxiety has come up and I was like, yeah, between my three and four I had some wicked anxiety and I went and went to therapy and started dealing with that. So that's what I'm saying If some things start coming up, don't be afraid to think you still need help. You now need help to deal with that. You might not need help for quitting drinking alcohol, but you need things to help you with the prevention of not relapsing. Right? Because, like what if you just let your anxiety go and you just let it go and go and go and then all of a sudden you're sitting there drinking tequila because you're trying to figure out working with your anxiety? So, like, if stuff starts coming up and you're later on down the road in your sobriety, go find the appropriate amount of help and don't ever think that you are good enough or have that confidence in yourself that you got this. You can't, because sometimes people don't. Same thing, we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow and we just have to make sure that we are tuned in and tapped into the support that we need.

Speaker 1:

Throughout my years I have done life coaches. I have done therapy. I still continue to do therapy. I went to AA, really, when I was at year three. So if you're sitting on the fence where you're like it's been a couple of years and you're like I don't have any in-person community or I need to go work on some things when it comes to some dry drunk behavior, I need to go work on some things when it comes to some dry drunk behavior, go step inside AA and see if that is what you need at that time. You would be surprised. Or maybe you're like I need a virtual community, I need a coach, like always continue to grow and to make and during those times where you're feeling a little bit shaky, don't be so over confident.

Speaker 1:

Still, to this day, you guys hear me say like I mean, I don't know what could happen tomorrow. Right, like it's an awareness that, yes, I feel very confident of. I'm just not going to drink today. I'm not going to drink today because I have worked on myself in that sense where it is 12 years here and now. At this point it's like drinking has no appeal to me. But I don't know that, if life flipped itself upside down, what that would look like for me. You know what I mean. We're all human at the end of the day, so don't be too overconfident. Sometimes my brother just said this to me and he was like cracking up and I was like because he was like I just heard that phrase. I was like Chad, this phrase has been around for years. But he was like your ego is not your amigo, so sometimes you do have to put that ego in check.

Speaker 1:

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Speaker 1:

Number two social pressure Agreeing to attend events where drinking is the norm without an exit plan or support, can wear you down, and this is very true. Those first couple of years I always had to confidently think of if I'm not feeling comfortable, it's time to go right and have a strategy in place. That's why the 60-minute rule is phenomenal Stay for an hour and then leave. You don't need to be there. Coaching session with a client that I helped her out for her first eight weeks and now she's two years sober and we did a check-in session and she was going to her high school reunion this past weekend and she was asking me like all about the things. And I told her I was like you know, you don't have to stay there the whole night. And she was like you're right. I was like yeah, dude, like listen, you went, proud of you for going, like amazing, you put yourself in that situation. Not a lot of people would. But if you're not feeling it after an hour, hour and a half, like it is okay to leave, no problem, you went, you did the damn thing. You saw some people, you fucking maybe cut the rug on the dance floor and then you, all right, it's time for me to go. So always and too, I was proud of her for reaching out to me, of just like talking through some stuff that she had going on and preparing herself for that social event. So that again is going back to the overconfidence of what I was saying of like just being able to tune in and tap into whatever support you need at that time. So the social pressure if you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it and you don't have to stay Sometimes. If you're not even feeling it during the day, don't even put yourself in that situation. If you're're a couple days before your period and you're having raging anxiety and you're just like I just can't do this, then don't do it, it's okay. It is okay.

Speaker 1:

Number three romanticize in the past those good times you used to have with alcohol. You might remember them more fondly than they really were. Stay grounded in the reasons you quit. This is exactly why people end up relapsing because they forget about the bad times. They forget about the reason why they wanted to quit in the first place. They forgot about how alcohol made them feel the next day. You cannot forget those moments. You need to keep reminding yourself, and usually around summer is when people like to romanticize alcohol a lot more because it's nice and it's like drinking outside right, sitting on a patio, all that fun stuff. But that's where you have to keep remembering to yourself like no, if I drink, this is what's going to happen to me tomorrow, and then my hangover is going to be about three, four days and I'm then going to fucking hate myself because I just went six months without drinking and why did I even cave? So you have to keep your why at your forefront and remember that. Again, this is all conditioning, condition your mind.

Speaker 1:

Number four neglecting self-care, skipping your routines, letting stress build up and not taking time for yourself can make you more vulnerable to old habits. This is very true, especially if you're a people pleaser. When you're putting everybody in front of you and not taking care of yourself. This can become a very slippery slope. All right If you're a mother and you're taking care of your kids before you are morning peeing. Like please go pee to. The children can wait and you need to go pee in the morning time. Like I have to tell the dictator no, he's like get out of bed, get out of bed. And then when I do, and then he doesn't want me to go in the bathroom. The other day he was like you don't need to go to the bathroom. I was like yes, I do, child, so bossy.

Speaker 1:

So I'm just saying you need to take care of yourself before anybody else and even if that is just taking a 10-minute walk by yourself, you cannot let go of your own self-care routines. And even just. I'm not even talking about getting the bubble bath going, I am just talking about having some alone time for 10, 15 minutes. Do you know what satisfaction I now get in a car ride by myself running errands. It is like I have been out of the house for seven hours and it's, honest to God, been 30 minutes. I am so rejuvenated after that, it's insane. So this is what I'm talking about rejuvenated after that, it's insane. So this is what I'm talking about, of these little self-care moments that you have to put in for yourself, of just some decompression and some alone time for you. So do not neglect what your self-care routine is, because, again, some people's is bubble baths. Mine is alone time. Mine is just some quiet time to be by myself. And like what is it? Decompress, to recompress or whatever. Like I have to decompress and that alone time is key, but I only need like 30 minutes of it now. So you will be surprised on what you used to need to. When you're meeting yourself at a different point in your life now, now, in motherhood, it's like give me 30 minutes, I am good, even just to close your eyes for 30 minutes.

Speaker 1:

And number five isolation. When we disconnect from others, especially those who support our sobriety, it's easy to fall into negative thinking patterns that can lead to relapse, to relapse. Isolating yourself is one thing that can lead you into a huge spiral and then when you stop checking in with people, when you've been very present on a regular, and then you start, it's patterns People do like human behavior, human patterns Then people are going to be like, are you okay? And you're going to be like, why are you asking me if you're okay? Well, when you talk to a person on a regular basis, right Like they're going to wonder if something's going on with you. So the isolation can be very similar to your old drinking self, because that's what you did in drinking. So just don't take yourself back to that isolation. Or, if you feel that happening, just see what's going on, check in and get yourself out of that before it's too late, okay. So again, let's take it from the top Overconfidence, social pressure, romanticizing the past, neglecting self-care and isolation.

Speaker 1:

I also want to say about romanticizing the past remember too that if you are romanticizing how alcohol was for you when you were 21 years old, but now you're I don't know 41, 51, you are never going to go back to how alcohol once was, because you have changed. We have aged. Alcohol has taken over your brain. There's a different relationship with alcohol now. There is no going back.

Speaker 1:

I always heard that too. I used to be really big into blow cocaine. For three years it was, and people I surrounded myself with this person would always talk about how they fell in love with cocaine and that first high and whatnot. And it was never really the same afterwards. And I can see that after the three years that I loved cocaine, alcohol is the same thing. You're never going to go back and be like, oh my God, this feels like when I was 21 again. You know it's the same thing when people are in the moderation. It's too much. All it is for you is torture.

Speaker 1:

If you're trying to moderate drinking after you already have developed that problematic relationship with alcohol, okay. So just remember that Next time you go back to thinking how young and free you were at 21 and how fun it was to have a couple drinks, like it's not the case anymore. Life has happened. It's not the case anymore. Life has happened, life be lifing in those 20, 30 years and alcohol be taken over. Alcohol has taken over and it's just not the same. So what I encourage you to do is tap into resources and just keep remembering why you are choosing life without alcohol.

Speaker 1:

All right, if you're looking for any type of one-on-one coaching, you can check the show notes below. Please feel free to check out my free resources and also to come join my sobriety circle. That is an online community. There's meetings in there. You can get your first month for $20, then it's $25 off after that and the price will be going up in 2025. So make sure that you grab in at founding member price. And again, thank you so much for listening to well, being here on this episode, on episode 200, or listening to any one of these shows, of these 200 episodes. I greatly appreciate it and it's been fun and I'm excited for what the future has in hold for this podcast. And keep going and keep on trucking with it, all right. Also, if you haven't yet, please rate, review and subscribe to the show and I will see you on the next episode.

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