Sober Vibes Podcast
Welcome to Sober Vibes, where sobriety meets empowerment! Hosted by sober coach, author, and mom Courtney Andersen—who’s been thriving in her alcohol-free life since 8/18/2012—this podcast is your go-to space for real talk, proven strategies, and inspiring stories from women who are redefining what it means to live without alcohol.
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Sober Vibes Podcast
Breaking the Weekend Drinking Cycle: How to Own Your Saturdays and Sundays
Episode 203: Breaking the Weekend Drinking Cycle: How to Own Your Saturdays and Sundays
In episode 203 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen discusses breaking the weekend drinking cycle. For many, the weekends trigger their drinking, and I share with you actionable steps to take to avoid drinking on the weekends and keep your sober streak going.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why weekends are harder not to drink
- Creating a new weekend routine
- Breaking the reward system of drinking alcohol
- The Monday feeling of waking up Hangover free
- Navigating social situations without alcohol
Thank you for listening.
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Hey, welcome to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host, courtney Anderson, and you are listening to episode 203. That is right, folks, 203. So I wanted to do an episode about the weekends, right, about breaking the weekend drinking cycle, because for so many you're weekend warriors or have been weekend warriors and weekends are a trigger for people. So I don't think I've ever specifically done an episode. I haven't See, when you get to the point of 200 plus episodes, you kind of forget what you've done, and I do acknowledge that not everybody has listened to this podcast, from episode one to 203. So I have mentioned I know I have mentioned in episodes before, though about the weekend cycle mentioned.
Speaker 1:I know I have mentioned in episodes before, though, about the weekend cycle and for me, towards the end of my drinking career, it was very, very, very much weekend warrior, binge drinking. Okay, where it was like Fridays, I would go into work, bartend, and that's when I would start drinking. Yes, I drink on the job, okay, a lot of people do who are in the industry, and then, of course, getting done and partying afterwards, right, or then, if I actually didn't drink on a Friday, then I would party on a Saturday, or the Friday and Saturday I would do both okay. And then by Sunday it was like I was dead to the world, hungover. Then Monday would have again anxiety from drinking all weekend, and then that would take me a couple days to recover. And then by Wednesday it's like, okay, I decided to be productive, clean my house, maybe go grocery shopping. And then I'm like, oh, I can't wait to drink again on the weekends, after I promised myself that I wouldn't drink again because I spent Sunday or Saturday dry, heaving on myself and laying on a couch and then binge eating Domino's pizza at like 8 o'clock at night and I'm wanting to throw that up.
Speaker 1:Does this sound familiar to anybody? So the point of this podcast, this episode in particular, is really to help you navigate those weekends. Now, if you were not the case of my extreme, you might just still be caught up in it of your own version of what those weekends look like to you or what they're looking like for you, and you can drink all or not drink all week long. And then come the weekend, it's like you got that itch. Because I have to tell you guys, this is so programmed into our fabric of the world and our beings and what we have habitually done for all of these years, and that is to drink and reward ourselves on the weekends. It's such a cycle.
Speaker 1:It truly is right, because you work your nine to five or whatever your job is, and then it's like here we go, or you are a mom, and then you have all the play dates with the kids on the weekends and you're out doing mommy wine culture, right? So why do weekends feel harder? And, like I said, it's like culturally and personal pressures around the drinking on the weekends, the socializing, the unwinding, the again doing things, because you don't have that responsibility during the week of with your job or with getting kids in their own routine with school, and it's just the weekends it gets thrown out the window. Right. And two here if working during the week, it's like a stress reliever, right, it's like okay, it's my time to shine, I had a hard week, let me relax in this way. Again, sound familiar. I hope you're nodding your head in your car listening to this like yes, yes, right. And just with socializing personal events that you have to attend to, a lot of that, a lot of that is fueled with alcohol, right? I understand the struggle.
Speaker 1:As I said at the top of this episode. It, this is normal. There's nothing wrong with you If you're like, why can't I get out of this? And again, coach a person who did state where she was like it took me five weekends five weekends to get out of, like being sober and alcohol-free, where she then started feeling like she could do it after about five weekends of being sober. So I just want you to take in that consideration, because those first few weekends y'all are going to be very uncomfortable. You are not going to know what to do with yourself. It's going to feel uncomfortable, it's going to feel awkward. You're going to have some FOMO of being like, oh I wonder what my friends are doing. Or even to that reward system of what am I going to do to relax and unwind? And there's a lot of things that you can do to relax and unwind, okay, so it's all about replacing that routine, okay? Because again, this is so fucking habitual I can't even explain it more than dropping the F-bomb in front of habitual on how this really is.
Speaker 1:So, creating new weekend rituals for yourself, right, if you haven't had a morning routine yet, you need to start a morning routine. I'm not asking you to fill up your morning routine with five hours of things to do, a morning routine for you. This is my morning routine. I read, I journal, I meditate. I try to drink my coffee in peace. Now, if I cannot get into that coffee of peace if you are a person who has a kid, you understand this. At least, if I'm doing my reading and journaling and get that in and the meditation in peace, I am fine. If I can get my coffee in, this is like a bonus of peace of just sitting there and decompressing, because again you have to start your day. And also, too, if you can sleep in, that's fabulous.
Speaker 1:I'm at a point where I can no longer sleep in. This is just a sidebar and I need somebody to tell me if it gets better. But like I can't sleep in anymore because I'm so now used to being up at anywhere between 5 and 6, 30 okay, and also, too, sleeping in. I have noticed the last time I did it and this was months ago then I actually just felt tired the rest of the day, like I would rather take a nap midday. I know I'm totally going off topic, but I just wanted to share in case anybody else is this way. I'd rather take a 20 to 30-minute snooze come nap time and like rejuvenate then than now sleep in, because it just makes me feel more groggy. But if you are one who sleeps in, that is great, so sleep in.
Speaker 1:Create your morning routine, okay. So just create something that is going to help you still feel structure, because a lot of people what they will do is they'll have their Monday and Friday routines and when you quit drinking alcohol, structure becomes your best friend. It truly does. Structure is good. It helps you stay on track. Like I'm not saying be all type A, but if you are type A, more power to you when you you have to like write your day and follow this and whatever. I'm just saying, keep your structure going in your morning routine. If you have one, monday through Friday, keep it going for Saturday and Sunday and it will just help you feel like it doesn't feel so I'm doing air quotes like weekend-ish. You know what I'm saying. Like it just feels like part. This is just another day, right? So do that okay.
Speaker 1:Plan activities that are going to energize you and fuel your soul, okay, whether that is hikes. Also do morning routines If you want to throw in, if you do some type of workout and that's part of your routine. Just do some stretching, and that helps as we age. Just stretch your bones. That's a good one, because that also, too, gets the blood flowing and makes you feel good. What I'm trying to help you with is feeling good, because that's what you want. You want to consistently feel good.
Speaker 1:So next, planning activities, like I said, that are going to energize you Hikes, you want to go take an art class, go explore a new hobby, go see a movie, do something that's going to meet a friend for coffee Again. Stop putting yourself in the social situations at nighttime if you don't feel like you are strong enough or don't have the energy in you to do that. Stop overscheduling your kids, where then all you do is feel like a taxi cab driver for three days. Right, like you need to take some time for yourself, because that is the art of true relaxation and the self-care is taking that time of more intentional resting time where you can sit your ass on a chair if this feels good for you, and you can sit your ass on a chair and binge watch something or watch a movie, and it's like that is true, intentional, and you got to get used to that rest of calming your body and not being on the go go go, because being on the go go go is eventually going to burn you out and overwhelm you. Where then you're going to want to drink? Right, because on the weekends this I know for sure and you cannot keep going like you've been going in your active drinking on the weekends.
Speaker 1:How, in your sober life, in your alcohol-free life? Okay, I hope this makes sense of how I describe this, and I know this to be true because I've coached many women who will have still overbooked themselves in those first couple weeks of an alcohol-free living, free life, and then, by the end of the weekend, they feel like they're ready for a drink. It's like you can't be doing the most on the weekends. This is the time you need to take for yourself and truly, truly, truly recover your bones of the poison you have put into your body because you're going through a detox. Even if you're a year, two, three, four years into this and you still feel very overwhelmed by the weekends, take this advice and schedule some time for you. That could even be going to get a massage or going to get a pedicure, just something for decompressing and relaxing.
Speaker 1:I'm also going to say this what was it last week? Yeah, last week went to Disney. It was the best, and you know why I think that it was well. I mean, there's a lot of reasons why it was the best, but I truly, truly, truly took that time to be like okay, I disconnected from my one-on-one clients, disconnected from my Sobrani circle and social media, really kind of just disconnected from it and was not on my phone. So, even if sometimes you feel overwhelmed by your phone and all of the things and work, take some intentional times of decompressing from that, because you will get recharged and it's like then you're not feeling drained and depleted when you're taking that actual rest. And that drainage and depletion will lead you to wanting to drink, okay. So energize yourself in somehow of what speaks good to you, right.
Speaker 1:And then also to going back to some events or outings with friends. Make it kind of sober, friendly for yourself. Like I stated, ask a friend to go for a cup of coffee. Ask a friend to go get a pedicure. Ask a friend. If you're not a person who likes to go see movies by themselves I am, it's great. I encourage you to go. Do that. That is a great thing to do by yourself is to go see a flick. Ask your friend to go see a movie with you. You don't have to talk much Like honestly, you really don't but you have the companionship, the friendship of sitting there and going to see something with somebody. Go get a coffee before the movie. I really want to go see Wicked and I'm probably going to have to take a coffee in there with me because it's three hours long. But these are all things that you can do.
Speaker 1:But ask, empower yourself to take life by the balls, pull your balls out of your purse and ask a friend to go do something different with you where you're not sitting there and it's not the same old, same old. Where you guys are meeting for drinks and you're sitting there with all of your girlfriends and they're having drinks and you're sitting there feeling like the odd man out, because that does happen in early sobriety. Okay, it does, that's normal. That's a normal feeling to have to feel like the odd man out because you are no longer participating in drinking and doing what you guys have been doing for so long. So go ask them to do something more sober, friendly-ish, until you feel comfortable within yourself to be able to put yourself in those types of situations, and there will be a time you'll be fine with going out to eat or going. If it's a drink type of setting with a friend or an event or something, you will be fine.
Speaker 1:On the flip side, though, these might be events and things you don't want to participate in anymore. You're gonna go one of two ways, and that is okay. It's like the same thing. It's like people are either day counters or they're not. Right. People either like to drink mocktails or they don't. You're either going to still want to participate in hanging out in a bar setting or events where there's alcohol, or you're not, and that is okay, because everybody is built differently, and we are here to encourage. Whatever works for you works for you. But ask your friend to go get a cup of coffee and plan something like that, or even to go get breakfast. Don't do brunch, go get breakfast.
Speaker 1:So I do want to encourage you, though, to identify what you truly enjoy and build a routine around those things. So even, too, if you all of a sudden want to force, gump your way through America and start running, like. So, if running is going to start bringing you joy, build your weekend around that like all right, cool, I can't wait to look forward to running on Saturday from Detroit to Cincinnati. I don't know, I'm just making this shit up, okay, I'm just saying, like you get what I'm saying of build the life that you want now in this alcohol-free living. Build the weekend you want specifically, because that is what we're talking about the weekends. Or maybe, too, it's like now you just start going to volunteer and go volunteer your time on Saturday afternoons to help you work through that Saturday afternoon itch right, you're giving back, you're talking to people, you're doing a service. That's awesome and that's something that you are going to be able. That's going to make you feel good.
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Speaker 1:So social situations without alcohol, right? Like I was saying before, common social situations and scenarios are the brunch, the barbecues, dinner parties, nightlife. This is why I encourage you to try to do stuff, especially in these early days, the first year of trying to do stuff around that breakfasts, coffee dates, a pedicure date, going for a walk with friends so you're still getting your social fix in and it doesn't feel like it's completely like ripped away from you, right? Even, too, if you are putting yourself in those social situations on the weekends where it's what I just said of more of, like the brunch and nightlife, you just have to figure out how you're going to decline drinks. And it's very fine to say if you go out on a Saturday night and somebody's like, oh, you want a drink. It's like, no, thank you, I have an early morning. Tomorrow I'm going to go run from Detroit to Cincinnati because I want to force gump my way through this life. Now you know what I mean. Like, just, I have an early morning. That's all you need to say. I can't explain it enough. I can't. I will. I will shoot this from the rooftop or, I'm sorry, scream this from the rooftop.
Speaker 1:Like you, not everyone deserves your story and you do not have to give your story to people until you are good and ready Right. Have to give your story to people until you are good and ready, right. So practice before you go out on the weekends on how you're going to decline a drink. And I know it sounds cheesy, but it's such a good way, by practicing, to condition your brain of what you know you're already going to say. Because if you don't and I know this is a thing for people, because it used to be a thing for me when you get into a situation like that and somebody asks you for a drink.
Speaker 1:It's very easy to trip up and trip over your words and then it's like you feel like you've embarrassed yourself. You know what I mean, especially, too, if you're a highly sensitive person. And then you end up over-explaining yourself and you're like what the fuck? Why did I just tell this person the story? That lasted like two minutes. All I could have said is no, thank you, I have an early morning tomorrow. And then you're sitting there, trauma dumping on a person who doesn't explain your story. I laugh because I once did this. It's normal, it happens.
Speaker 1:But practicing how to decline drinks before you go out if you do, the nightlight approach on the weekends is going to be your best friend. Also, too, the nighttime situation. You can always call restaurants. If you know you're going to a restaurant, call them up, look up the menu online, see if they have any non-alcohol options mocktails, beers and if they don't, then look up a recipe on Pinterest and then go tell the bartender to make you that. And I have to say this on the thing with the bartenders too. I have to say this on the thing with the bartenders too is, if you are out and about, ask them if they know any mocktails and let them do their little Flanagan. If you guys have ever watched the movie Cocktails, you'll understand the Flanagan reference. Make them do their Flanagan flair and see if they can make up a good mocktail for you. Put their skills to use. And then two set boundaries if you need to. Okay for the nighttime social situation, and this also, too, could just be for a barbecue.
Speaker 1:The 60-minute rule works perfectly. An hour there. I got to go. You have to leave events or two. If you wake up on a Saturday and you're not just you're not feeling it, your internal clock is just like I just am not in the mood today, then don't go, don't put yourself in that situation, okay, because sometimes putting yourself in that situation is just going to trigger you and then you're going to drink, and then you're going to wake up on Sunday and be like what the flying fuck did I just do? I should have just stayed home, I should have listened to my gut. So if your gut is telling you to just stay home, then just stay home and that's okay. And you will catch the next weekend to be able to put yourself in these situations and feel good and confident. And when you put yourself in a situation.
Speaker 1:As time goes on in your alcohol free, sober journey, you then start building the self-esteem. You then start building the trust in yourself, right, and you keep proving to yourself time and time and time again like well, I'm doing this, I'm putting myself in these situations like I'm okay and that's great, because I want you to build up your self-esteem and to be confident in yourself, to be a confident, badass human being living an alcohol-free life and that you can participate in the world, because I know all the good people of the world who listen to this podcast want to participate in life. But in the beginning you might just have to do a couple of these things first, to sacrifice a little bit in that first year before then that you feel this way and feel this very confident of yourself. In year two and year three and year four and I'm going to tell you this after year one, start stuff you don't constantly think about not drinking. That first year, like it changes so that that noise silences, it gets quieter, so, yeah, so if you have to skip an event. And two, if you have an anxiety spike, you're close to your period and you're not feeling it. I'm just not feeling it and that's okay, that this, like this, is okay to say no to things. And then I just want you to think about the positives, okay, the benefits of a sober weekend.
Speaker 1:You got through Monday through Friday without drinking. You are then waking up on Sunday or Monday and you're like oh my God, I just made it seven, eight days with not drinking. I didn't slip this weekend. I just made it seven, eight days with not drinking, like I didn't slip this weekend. I just made it a whole weekend without alcohol. This is the first time I haven't drank on a weekend in years, right?
Speaker 1:You're going to wake up with a clear head on Monday. You're not going to have that God forsaken Sunday scaries. You might have the Sunday scaries because you might not like your job, but it's not going to be intensified because of the partying all weekend, right? So you're going to wake up on Monday feeling great. You're going to have the energy, but you're going to have energy into your new week.
Speaker 1:You're going to feel the energy from having that alcohol-free weekend with if you did a new activity or you connected with a friend, with going to a coffee date and you had some like quality one-on-one adult time. Okay, like you put some makeup on your face, you went out the door and you were able just really to decompress for two hours and not be mom or dad in that moment, right, like? Or you were able to go and have a genuine conversation with a friend over coffee and, like, you were able to share to your friend that you no longer drink alcohol and this is what has been happening, and you come out of that conversation feeling very good and that you were in a safe space and that you were just able to tell the first person, like that you're not drinking anymore. Right, and even to whatever else you decide to do on these weekends with not drinking alcohol, you're gaining time that time spent on the act of drinking and then the fallout of drinking. That time now is being replaced with new focus, personal growth, the hobbies you put in, like again connecting in with your loved ones and self-care and actual rest of what we should be doing on these weekends. We should be doing some living and some resting on these weekends, right, I have to say this still to this day and I know I've said this a lot, but, like, still to this day, on weekends, when I go out and participate in the world, I have an overwhelming amount of gratitude for it.
Speaker 1:Like this weekend I don't know how this is going to last, you guys, but this weekend we are going to see the Grinch musical and we're taking the dictator. I don't know if three is too young for the arts like this, but we're just going to go with it, right? But like, I'm looking forward to that. I truly am, because it's doing something new, it's being able to be present in a situation and actually fucking remembering an event that you paid for, right. So, like anytime, we do something new, or just simply waking up on a Saturday or Sunday morning without a hangover, after having a good night's rest. It's like this is living, because I'm no longer in those like handcuffs of that constant struggle and cycle that you were in. I was in for so many years. You were in for so many years, and it's a breath of fresh air, Okay, and it's a breath of fresh air, okay.
Speaker 1:Sobriety allows you to live weekends to the fullest and, honestly, not just survive them. So please remember that, because the weekends again are for rest and for living and if you get through that with some alcohol-free days, it's just going to get better and better and better for you and just remember about five weekends is when it gets more and more comfortable of more and more of like yeah, I can do this. The first couple, the first month, possibly the first two months, are going to feel very uncomfortable until they don't. And when they don't, I really want you to reach out to me on social media, on Instagram particularly, or send me an email and let me know of your. This weekend actually felt like the new normal life that I'm living, right? So, again, change your routines on the weekends. Handle social situations a little bit different. Embrace the benefits of waking up on a fucking Monday morning, not feeling like a bag of dicks, right, your weekends become yours again and that's the gift. No drink can match, okay.
Speaker 1:And each weekend, as you get into this, and if you haven't done it yet, challenge yourself to go out and do something new. Go, explore something new. Challenge yourself. If you're a person who's always been on the go, go, go. Challenge yourself to lay in bed and bedrock for a day and see what that's like.
Speaker 1:And watch some Netflix. Watch a couple murder mysteries. Watch some Bravo shows, like. Do a marathon of I don't know the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, right, whatever city tickles your fancy. Watch it and just sit and be and be grateful that you are not living in the cycle of the weekend warrior of drinking like that, where you're so sick by Saturday or Sunday then it takes you almost a full week to recover from right.
Speaker 1:All right, let me know if this episode helped you. If you need to listen to it again, listen to it again, because sometimes we have to listen to things to really like let it sink in and for you to help get you through a Saturday and Sunday. But on Friday night I want you to envision yourself waking up on Sunday of how it's going to feel for you not to be hung over and also how proud you are going to be of yourself for not drinking. Feel it and just keep connecting to that feeling of how you're going to feel on Monday. I know it sounds woo-woo, but this is like it works. Just keep connected to that feel-good feeling. Just keep connected to that feel-good feeling.
Speaker 1:Also, happy Thanksgiving For those of you who enjoy this holiday. I hope you have a wonderful holiday. I truly do. Happy Thanksgiving of 2024, and make it a happy, sober Thanksgiving and enjoy that time with your friends and family. Or, if you're at home bed rotting because you don't want to engage in the day or with your family. Enjoy that too. I hope this episode helped. Let me know. Make sure if you check out my resources in the notes below, grab my book if you need help with the first three months of living without alcohol and keep on trucking and keep kicking ass.
