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Sober Vibes Podcast
Welcome to Sober Vibes, where sobriety meets empowerment! Hosted by sober coach, author, and mom Courtney Andersen—who’s been thriving in her alcohol-free life since 8/18/2012—this podcast is your go-to space for real talk, proven strategies, and inspiring stories from women who are redefining what it means to live without alcohol.
Each week, Courtney dives deep into the topics that matter most—from conquering cravings and navigating social settings to rebuilding confidence and finding joy in sobriety. Whether you’re newly sober, in long-term recovery, or simply curious about life without alcohol, the Sober Vibes Podcast delivers the support, insights, and encouragement you need.
Join a like-minded community and discover how sobriety can unlock a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. Don’t just get sober—let’s thrive together!
Sober Vibes Podcast
LOTE: Balancing Magic and Boundaries in 2024
Episode 205: LOTE: Balancing Magic and Boundaries in 2024
Episode 205 of the Sober Vibes podcast is Livin on the Elledge week. This means it's the show within the show, and Courtney and Kimberly chat about a little bit of magic, boundaries, and recapping 2024. This is the last LOTE of the year, and the sisters discuss some favorites.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Sharing about Disney
- Boundaries in 2024
- Recap of the year
- Doing what is right for you during the holidays
Courtney and Kim, I hope this episode helps you on your journey today. Thank you for listening to and supporting the show.
Thank you for listening.
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This is Courtney. This is Kimberly. You are listening to the show within the show. Living on the L-Edge.
Speaker 2:Come live with us. We're talking about the road to recovery and sobriety and how to vibe and maintain a happy and healthy lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Hey, welcome to Living on the Alleged podcast. If you are like what I'm not listening to, I thought I was listening to Sober Vibes. I'm here with the co-host, kimberly Elledge, who is also my sister, and this is episode 205. If you're new here, we do a show within a show called Living on the Alleged, and if you've been with us from the beginning, welcome back, hey, sister. Welcome back, hey Sister, sister.
Speaker 2:Kim Courtney, don't call me that. It makes me sound like I live in Utah.
Speaker 1:All right, but listen. So the other day, because I re-upped my Hulu subscription, because I got it for like 99 cents a month for a year, that's slay. I know those Black Friday deals Because I always just cancel that after the bear's over because I mean there's just between all the apps. It's too much, but anyways. So I started watching that Real Housewives, our Real Mormon Housewives, the one with all the mom talk moms.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and those are the dumbest bitches ever to watch.
Speaker 1:I literally had like I was having a physical reaction watching it the other night, where I'm like dude, I love reality television, but this is like I don't think I can continue. But I continued for at least two episodes because it was such a train wreck.
Speaker 2:A disaster and people love that show. By the way, it was trending, it went viral.
Speaker 1:Are we old? Is this a generational thing? Now Are we old and we can't relate to this.
Speaker 2:Bitch, you're old, I'm not, it's just the worst. I can't stand it. The only thing I like is when they go into those soda pop shops and they get those big giant chill chugs and because, like they don't drink alcohol, mormons, so they like love soda, so they have, like these soda shops in Utah and they make like all types of fucking crazy concoctions out of pop.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but these chicks drank. This is what I was having a hard time with. Again, to each their own when it becomes about your religion. Okay, I just with me. I've always found the Mormon religion fascinating and wild.
Speaker 2:I find it disgusting.
Speaker 1:Well, I was saying wild in a polite way, because I'm not trying to offend anybody's religion. Like I said, teach your own. But and then that? What did we see on? What was it that we saw when I came out to Denver? The Book of Mormon, which was so good, yeah that was good.
Speaker 1:But that's where I was having a hard time with this, because they were all these mom talkers, were all trying to empower themselves. And then there was a point where one of the girls got a collaboration to post a picture with her in a vibrator and she was going to get paid $20,000, right. And it was like, well, go you dude, take the band, take the picture and go. And like there was other girls in the groups having like this reaction, like I would never do that, it's like your one friend just outed you all saying you guys were all swingers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know I can't. My friend jess she watched. Uh, she was like, do you watch that? And we were like talking about it and I was like I don't. Yeah, I watched a couple episodes and then I couldn't stand those hoes, I had to turn it off. So no, we're not old, we just don't like shitty television and we keep it real with the housewives on Bravo. That's true.
Speaker 1:That's true. We haven't talked in a while, but we do have to mention that. How are you feeling that the new Vanderpigs or the Vanderpigs got canceled? It's time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they needed to go. Yeah, they needed to go. Yeah, goodbye. They were a disaster towards the end and they just weren't making fun television, it's like it, just they're old, they had their time, it was cool, and so they're going to recast. Who knows how that will go. But Bravo does a pretty good job and if they don't make the cut they'll get canceled. So some of the Vanderpigs are going over to that show, the Valley. So some of the Vanderpigs are going over to that show in the Valley. So we'll see. We'll see what Andy Cohen does Daddy Cohen?
Speaker 1:Cohen doesn't produce that one. Oh, he doesn't. He doesn't produce that one Other, bravo, people, but he doesn't produce that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's so sick of their shit. He's like I'm over this.
Speaker 1:Well, he might have started out beginning like that, but he doesn't produce it anymore. But yeah, I think a couple of years ago they should have just did a spinoff with the two Toms and rolled with just those guys Right, those bush pigs, and like, how Southern Charm. They should just do a spinoff with the dudes and leave it like that, because all of these chicks it's just like I don't know nothing will beat Cameron and those two other, and Chelsea.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they make for good TV. They did make for good TV.
Speaker 1:So it's been a couple weeks, sister, and we are back from our trip to Disney. Did you enjoy traveling with Anderson? Party of Three.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was pretty chill. I mean, you know me, I keep a low key. You guys are super low key, so we did it. Matt probably was. Matt had to get used to you and I together, like because we're just always on the FaceTime together, but Matt says that we're sociopaths when we travel, that we're just hollering at him the whole time, which we are not. Okay. Let's talk about us for a second. We are well-traveled people, okay. We know the ins, we know the outs and we know how to get shit done. Right, am I wrong here? You are not. No.
Speaker 1:Correct, so I will give it to the two people who created us that they did. They did right when it comes to that.
Speaker 2:Right, like just efficient as fuck. We're not out here dicking around wandering around this earth with our heads up our ass Like absolutely not. So like we need to get it done Correct. So the Courtney and CJ and Matt didn't. I woke up on. We left on a Sunday, so they left early and I woke up cause I had gone on like Sunday. So they left early and I woke up because I had gone on like a work bender and just was like working, working, working. So I woke up that morning they were supposed to pick me up and I just called Courtney. I was like, hey, I'm going to catch you on the next flight. And Courtney, without even skipping a beat because she knows me, I called Delta and I was like, hey, can I get on the next flight? Blah, blah, blah. So I already talked to Daddy Delta. They were cool with it, put me on the next flight. So then I text my sister. I said, yo, I'm not, I'll meet you down in Orlando, like I'm, I'm going to sleep. And she, just because my sister knows me, she just no stress. She said, okay, no problem, I'll see you down there. Like, drop your location, see you soon.
Speaker 2:I don't know if Ponyboy is yet used to my antics because he God bless him he's just starting to get like the travel bug in him. Like, since he's married my sister like. He's like the past, like decade, he's like getting out there a little bit more, but in travel wise, so he was. He told me when I got down to Florida that he was like he's like how do you just like do that? I was like what. And he's like I don't know. I was like what, just like not give a fuck and I'll get where I need to be when I do it. He's like, yeah, that stresses me out. I was like, yeah, you and I are just completely two different like personality types. Yeah, yeah, like like we're. Her, like teeters on, like you know, she got a little bit of Matt's like personality type and a little bit of mine. So she just I don't know, she just goes with it just because she knows me. But I was like, yeah, man, I don't stress about stuff like that, like I stress about other shit, but not shit like that. So I met them down there.
Speaker 2:It was amazing. We had we stayed at, we went to Disney and we did three days, not four days, down there and it was fun. It was a lot of fun. I spent quality time with CJ and every morning he woke me up and he's the sweetest little boy when he wakes you up. I mean definitely it was like seven in the morning but he said TT and then I'd tell him 10 minutes and then he'd go out and Courtney was like all right, go get her TT, okay, it's time to get up. And we were jumping on the bed and watching everything's all think Disney when you stay on property. So, yeah, we had a good time.
Speaker 2:It was fun. I had a lot of fun, but definitely like in the park. My sister kind of is a sociopath when it comes to Walt Disney World, so we get there at rope drop and we hit the ground running and we did, we did good this year. We we always hit all the rides like we're definitely going to do that, but there's a method to this shit and especially when you have like that lightning lane and stuff. So yeah, we definitely told matt where he needed to be and like to step on it like all right, dude haunt, a mansion has no weight, all right, but big thunder, mount lake.
Speaker 1:So uh, yes, so and that's what I told him last night because he brought he was like making himself laugh, of course he's like you guys gonna do a podcast. Because he said in when we were in the magic kingdom he was like like later in the day he was like you guys should do a podcast just called sociopaths of disney no, disney sociopaths. And so we brought that up last night and we all had a chuckle and I was like I I have not heard you complain that there was not a ride that you didn't get to ride at the magic kingdom. I said I had us ride four main attractions all within the first hour of that place being open, not waiting a goddamn second for it.
Speaker 2:Hey man, I was here for it. We played, we had the main at knocked out by fucking 10 o'clock.
Speaker 1:Oh God. And if you are a Disney fan and you haven't done it yet, like Kim and I, we got to ride Tron, oh my God, because Kim got to ride it twice, because you can do a rider switch if you have a kid with you, which is, I think that was great of Disney to do, really.
Speaker 2:That was cool. I got to ride that bitch back to back. That ride was incredible. Courtney and I have been going to the parks our whole lives, so we have love for Disney, but that was a ride that they just built like last year and so we had never ridden it before, so we were excited.
Speaker 1:Something new. I think when you and I were there for my 40th I think they just it was. I don't think it was up yet, I think I was just about to open, but yeah. So Kim rode with Matt first and then I rode with her. Oh man, and in the line I got all quiet and afterwards I told I was like I was nervous going on that. But man, that one was incredible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was so much fun. You should put the picture of you and I on Tron for on the next podcast.
Speaker 1:I look like I am fucking. I look like somebody is murdering me. That's how terrified I am.
Speaker 2:The picture is incredible, y'all. Look, Courtney will post it when she posts this Insta, or when she posts this podcast, she'll post it through her Insta. It's incredible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I look completely terrified, but man, I don't know. It's a good place. I know people are always 50-50 with Disney and it being expensive and all that. People have some stuff to say about it, but I have to say overall, that was the first time bringing the dictator, of course, and now, as a parent with a kid, that is the one place you can go to in the fucking world where it is 100% tailored to children and the parents' needs of the child. You know what I mean, bro, I had a great time. Yeah, no, I'm just like, it's just that, it's just Taylor's to to it all. Like I said, I like even at the pools there were little life vests, that so you didn't even have to bring little swimmers, like being able to get a crib, or like the handles for the, the reels for the bat.
Speaker 2:It's all that stuff is there for you so, yeah, yeah, customer service on 10, they had everything thought of it was. It was great. I mean, it is expensive as shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's not get it twisted, but it's worth it, it's fun and for I don't know what they put in the air there at Disney. But for some reason you just don't even think like when you're back at home, like you're just like a fucking slave working all the time. You just like make it rain whatever you want. I'm a dictator. What do you want? You want 800 bubble machines? There you go, buddy. You want some snacks? Like hit up that snack machine. Who cares? Like anything is a go. It's funny.
Speaker 2:We were walking past this one on Main Street. We're walking past this one restaurant. Matt's like. He's like interested. But with Matt we tell him like homie, use your words. Like if you want to stop somewhere, we are going to stop and do it If you see something that interests you. But if you're just like inquiring and we already know that the place is like sucks, been there, done that, we're not stopping. We got work on the go, we're going. So he was like oh, what's this place? I was like it's pretty much where. Like old people go and sit down and like fucking, get out of the, the heat, keep it moving pony. And he's like Jesus Christ, you guys are the worst. Oh man, it was good, keep it moving. We don't go in there. We haven't been in there since 1987 and we're not going back. Fuck off, we got to go. Get it's time for Dole Whips. Now Carry on.
Speaker 1:Listen, disney is an institution, it's a machine, and if you are only spending one day at the park, you don't have time to revisit restaurants from the 80s.
Speaker 2:No time, we're not going in there. There's nothing good in that. I already know what's in there and we're not. Don't worry about it, Pony.
Speaker 1:If you need to see something, I'll let you know. Oh shit, but listen. The thing about that, though. What happened is my husband, your brother-in-law is now a believer. Like and he even said it the other day he's like if Disney is like our annual trip and then we do a little trip like up north or somewhere else, like I'm cool with that. He's like because, after now seeing that, being there for the first time, and he was like it's just, he's like that's such a quick plane ride, like that's so, it's simple travel right. And I was like, yeah, dude, and before we left for Disney he wasn't speaking those words right, like it was just he didn't know what to expect.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then he'd be like how do they know? Like he'd like was with the bands and like they'll let you like Disney knows when you like check off the ride, when you have your band, like it's crazy or whatever. And he'd be, he'd have some questions and Courtney and I were like dude, it's Disney magic, bro. Like you don't need to know anything, disney, because there's shit in the park that just like makes sense if you just understand, like the machine of Disney. So you're just like just magic. And he's like fuck you guys, somebody explain this. Because he like needs an analytical answer, because that's just how his brain works. And I was like just you don't, you don't even need to worry about it, disney magic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's real simple. I do have to because everybody probably has a Disney magic story and I want to explain this and then we'll get on with because this will be the last episode for the year for the LOT series. But our last ride of the night was Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Speaker 2:the mine ride, so we get on it. And Colin the dictator some might be like who's Colin? Yeah, like when he asked who Kim was. Cj calls me TT. And then Courtney was talking one day, like a couple of weeks ago, and she said, oh, your Aunt Kimmy. And he said who's?
Speaker 1:Kim the best. The best is he the other day, because Matt makes these, like he calls them, data balls, okay. And so he was like hey, buddy, do you want a data ball? And he looked at Matt and it was like the timing was just perfection and he said those data balls are dry.
Speaker 2:They are, he's not wrong.
Speaker 1:Oh God, all right. So we get on Snow White, the mine ride, and this is one that this one has the longest wait of all time. Every day you have to pay extra if you're going to pay for a lightning lane. You pay extra for this. Okay, to get on this ride without a wait. So our last night, our last ride at the Magic Kingdom, we get on it.
Speaker 1:And Colin put his hands up. He was giggling. When it was over, when we were waiting to come in to get off, he was like, let's do that again, like I want to do it again, right. And so we pull up and we're about to get off and the nice cast member, this nice fellow, he asked us. He was like do you guys want to ride this again? And Matt, myself and my sister were like, well, yeah. And then I asked him. I said but how are we riding this again? And I still don't believe this was Disney magic and nice karma. And he said well, the person who put you on the ride wanted you to have a magical visit. So I still think, kim, it was that blonde-ha hair Australian gal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was the Aussie. Yeah, she was the best. She kept smiling at us. We were vibed. That first ride, though, our whole party who was doing the roller coaster was lit. Everyone was like about it. It was like the best way to finish Disney. Because everyone was like at the end, if you've ridden the ride it's the best, because at the end you see like the seven dwarfs, and then they start their hi-ho, hi-ho, so like you're going up a hill and about to hit the last hill, and everyone was like clapping, just like partying. Courtney and I were going nuts, like it was a vibe.
Speaker 2:And then we got to ride it again and CJ loved roller coasters. There was a few times in the day where he was bummed because he couldn't ride Space Mountain and he couldn't ride Tron and this kid let us know that he was tall enough to ride these rides. Later, when we got home or the next day, he was bummed. He couldn't go on the big kids ride so that Snow White is fun I mean it's a coaster and he had his hands up the whole time just partying, ready to go. It was the best. I'll never forget that a day in my life His little dictator hands, because Courtney and I rode together and then Matt and CJ were in the front and just his little munchkin hands, it was the best, yeah, so that second ride, that second turn he put up.
Speaker 1:So my tip, though, is, if you are going to the Disney and it's your first time, or it's your somebody's first time going, you need to get that button and wear that button, because I swear that that also too with that blonde Aussie nice cast member. I swear she saw that button too, and that's why it was done like that again. So, thank you, anthony, Thank you, thank you Mickey Mouse, thank you big guy. Hey, good people of the world Looking for more comfort and joy this season, here's a pro tip for you Try Exact Nature. I love Exact Nature. I've been using it now for two years. The oil is my jam.
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Speaker 1:So, kim, it is the end of 2024. When this airs, there'll be two, three weeks left of December, and how do you want to recap your year of 2024?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Okay, let's let me think. I think, oh, for me, you know what? For me, it was a good year. I had a little bit of growth happening.
Speaker 2:I am definitely more stable with my boundaries with people. I'm definitely, when it comes to men, not about the bullshit. I'm not. I'm. There's a couple situations with like dating, where I just like saw some red flags and then just was like we're good here, like not accepting the bare minimum, not accepting the bullshit, with some friendships, the same.
Speaker 2:So I've definitely done like a cleansing in my personal life and I got a clear goal as to what I want to do with like some goals, with like living situation and where I want to end up and some property that I want to buy and just trying to get on with it. Yeah, start adulting a little more. I definitely want to like a balance with like travel and not just be like grinding all the time and working and just like do some stuff for me and balance that a little bit more. So that is where I'm at, and then right now, though, it's like primetime holiday season, so I'll be at work for the next month. Oh, and then I'm going to Turkey in the spring to go get my teeth done, which I think is wonderful. Thank you, thank you. It's like the only thing on my body I'm really self-conscious about, because I don't have the best teeth. I hate them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and yeah, I mean there's some damage that happened during the days of the crack cocaine, yeah, so I mean that's just, but you're going to get it taken care of and all good, yeah it's all good and you're going to come out smiling every goddamn day. Yeah, and.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to be licking my teeth at you and Katie too. I'm going to be licking my chompers to Katie all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're going to have to start drinking coffee through straws and stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what, though? I've kind of like stopped drinking so much coffee. I don't pound coffee like I used to Do. You feel better? I don't know, but I don't know. But I've definitely like retail, like the caffeine intake, because, like I don't, I have trouble with, as we all know here, the sleep. So I'm highly sensitive to like upper.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Right. So what? After like a cup and a half, I don't, I don't know. It's just like I could push it. That's why I switched to drinking hot water in the wintertime, because I just want to be warm. But after like a cup and a half, I can't with that anxiety-ridden feeling. I don't like it anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah me neither.
Speaker 1:It's too much. And then you're sitting there like, oh my God, why did I just do this? It's not worth it.
Speaker 2:Well too, like you're in the house with like the dictator and like like when you work with your work, you're like sitting and like focused on like a laptop, a computer, so like you don't have anywhere to burn off that like caffeine energy. Like me at the restaurant, like I'll I'll pound a couple espressos, but I got, I got room to breathe, like I'm moving, so it's like I can burn off that caffeine. But if I pounded that and just like sat at home, I'd be fucking crawling up the wall. Yeah, just like, so I can like burn it up. So I don't know if like taking that much caffeine and then just like being in like one place, that would make me nuts yeah, like I'm good at a cup, like a cup, so I'm all good with that.
Speaker 1:But then if I, if I push it to that cup and a half, that's where it starts I start getting dicey. Yeah, she gets crazy yeah, and then sometimes in the afternoon I need it, but sometimes, like lately, I have not been needing a second cup in the afternoon, which is good. And then I find myself being able to go to sleep anywhere between 9 and 10 and not fighting it. Jesus Christ, I don't know how you do that.
Speaker 1:Well, that's just how the schedule is. But I also, too, I'm up. I start waking up at like 5 o'clock because Matt gets up at 5. So I mean that's just now. And, too, with the little dictator every day with his sleep, because he's been getting into the bed with us and that's been something that's been going on for the last couple months and for the last two nights he has not. And I'm like thank you, babe, jesus, yeah, yeah, so, cause I'm fine If he wants to come in bed with us. Anything after 4 AM is great, but like whew, god bless people who can go sleep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I don't. I've been single so long, I don't even know how I would. I don't think I want to sleep with anyone in my bed ever again. Just me and little Drexel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and for like for a mom for me especially that and for Matt, like the bed we were we have not been co-sleepers of with with him and it's just. That has always been our thing and that has been my time to not be touched like and just to decompress, yeah, to talk Like. So lately it's been a little dicey and too he was sick, so yeah, it's fine, keep it moving. Yeah, but definitely sleeping. I mean there's married couples who sleep in separate beds, not because there's trouble in paradise, but that just works.
Speaker 2:I love it. I love that concept yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's a bad thing. If Matt and I are sick, I'm like usually it's him that he goes into the Airbnb room, what we call TT's room.
Speaker 2:That's my room.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so he'll go in there Anyway. So, yeah, so I am proud of you because you have put in those boundaries, especially too with relationships, so you are showing your worth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I'm not out here just going to be like booed up with someone just to say that I am like no, thank you. So you know, when I see those flags and then you, someone shows you themselves pretty quick, especially when you've come out of a traumatic relationship, and you're like you, you recognize the signs quicker and you just like I just I can't do it, man, I don't have any patience for it and I'm not ever going to put myself in that situation ever again. So it's like I don't, I just so. Then when you start like calling someone on it, they tell you they're not one way. And then they're showing you and then you're say something. Then they like try to gaslight you and I'm like that happened a couple of times. I'm like, nope, fuck that, adios, I am good, see ya Right, so it's.
Speaker 2:And then of course, they circle back and try to see if you're a dipshit. But definitely I'm like no, dude, we're good. Like I'm not going through this, I'm not training somebody how to treat me nicely. I'm not, at this stage in the game, like I can just do without. So, yeah, it was cool. I mean, I still have feelings. It's not like it wasn't disappointing. It's fuck that. Keep it moving. So that's been cool. I've showed some boundaries with our parent trying. I mean, as long as we do this podcast, that will always be a conversation with me and Courtney with our parents, but we're trying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but we had a good one yesterday and that was just about, because when you deal with two people who haven't changed, who haven't changed, and when you're still and again I know a lot of people who listen to this the good people of the world are.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of you who are to this. The good people of the world are. There's a lot of you who are in complicated relationships with your parents because you are of the generation that my sister and I are in and that means that you have boomer parents, boomtown road, and so it's it's a complicated relationship, right, and when you are in that relationship and they keep doing the same, it's the same response over and over again and there hasn't been much change, or say they're going to do something and whatnot, like it re-triggers you and then it also. Then that's where the emotional setback takes place. So I was speaking to Kim last night because there was a couple emotional setbacks the past week or two with our parents. Kim had her experience, I had mine and I said, going forward, I'm not going to allow them to make, I'm not going to allow them have me have an emotional setback. It's not worth it to me anymore. And going forward.
Speaker 1:It's for me, because that negativity and 42 years of this behavior. It gets as you get older. It gets heavier and heavier and heavier and you're you're an empath or a highly sensitive person. It does take it out of you and it takes you some time to recover emotionally. And now I'm just at the point where it's like not saying I'm X-ing out my parents. But the communication will be very, very it's going to be in a very box with just a couple things to talk about and that's it. And when I start seeing or hearing some things go a little bit left, I'm exiting the conversation. I don't want any part of it. Yeah, because that's what you got to do to protect your peace, man.
Speaker 2:A hundred percent, dude, I get it. I was like trigger for three days.
Speaker 1:I sleep like two.
Speaker 2:It's like just like old shit.
Speaker 1:The holidays are sensitive time, like, so I snapped out of it, got out of it processed and we're good, yeah, and like and like I'm not doing this shit Right, and we just came off of a very, very nice vacation which, even when we were there, nothing got brought up about.
Speaker 1:Well, it did, because Kim and I had a little moment and I noticed it on my own before Kim even said it, I don't know huge association with Kim and I's grandparents on my mother's side, so her mother and father, right, and my grandma used to take us there all the time, and then so Kim and I both had this moment, different times, of realizing watching all of these grandparents be with their kids and their grandkids and fucking functioning. And I mean, there was even one. There was even one like Boomtown who was on Tron, no, who was on Space Mountain with Matt and I. And when we were getting off and like walking because that to get off of Space Mountain, like it's such a long, windy road to get out of there, and I was like dude, this guy's got to be like close to 80. And this man just went on space about him, like go you, boom, boom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and some of these like older people getting on Tron and like saddling in like reverse cowgirl. I'm like God damn, these people can move and it's like they're engaged and like having fun and like grandparents are sitting, like our grandma used to do, like sit and wait for us to like ride the rides and like walk that park the whole day. So there's a couple of times in Disney same with Courtney where it's like I had some cause. I don't remember a lot of my childhood and it's just like a trauma response. It's my brain protect me.
Speaker 2:So like there were parts in that park where we were walking down main Street and I was telling Matt about this watch store on Main Street and I was like, oh yeah, it's like we used to go in there and we get like a Mickey Mouse watch and my grandma had a couple of nice watch. And then I just started like out of nowhere to start crying and he was like, oh my God, he's like are you going to? And I was like there might be a couple tears today. Matt and I was like this is like we were heavily embedded in these parks when we were kids and so, yes, and he was just like and then at one point Courtney was, and then we went on a small world and I think we were both crying because it was my grandma's favorite ride and my mom really likes that ride and I'm just like, oh my God, this is a nightmare, but it was good, it was a beautiful thing. It's just like there were some tears shed in Disney. I didn't buy Mickey Mouse pretzel.
Speaker 1:Right man, I had like six of them over the course of a week. So coming off of that nice vacation and there wasn't like we were all very present, and when you're in vacation mode some people go in vacation mode and aren't in vacation mode and really think about like what's going on at home and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:Like we, we actually we didn't give a shit, then I give a fuck. We didn't talk about work, we didn't talk about money, we didn't talk about bills, we didn't talk about family member, we didn't talk about nothing. We were very present and in the moment and like it was, it was great and each of us respected each other. When it's like okay, you're, you, go to you, you need to sit, you want something, you need something, like we were all very and we were all like obviously have a three-year-old with us, so super, like watching him like just react. We were very present. We weren't like fucking around on our phones the whole time, like just in it, but watching like older people and it's, it was a bit triggering yeah.
Speaker 1:So then coming home, and then when that energy resurfaces and then it comes into your space, it's like fuck man. So I know that's why there was an emotional setback and last night to camera I was just like dude, no more, like no, I just at the emotional setbacks and roller coasters I just I can't do it. I thought I can't do it. I don't want to do it anymore. I truly I do not want to do it anymore. I don't want to live in in that space and for a long time I let others, I let others, beings and energy self-sabotage me. And so when that started creeping up again, I'm like yeah, no, nope, nope, nope. Somebody come do an exorcism on me, get this out yeah, excuse, and it's that time of year.
Speaker 2:So this time of year, like the patterns of like our family dynamic definitely resurfaced, so we're just like putting a stop to it and boundaries, and like we're good over here where I am not engaging because I would rather spend my holiday alone or like do what I'm going to do than cater to somebody's toxicity. We are all good over here. So you were right and I just had to go through it for a minute. But I'm definitely not doing that and I'm not going to sit around another holiday like worrying about people, like just do my thing, or worrying about like what's not happening. Like this is my reality, this is what's happened. So I have to create my own, as you like, your own traditions, that you're doing so and that's OK, because everybody else gets to like do their thing.
Speaker 2:So why should I feel bad when I'm like making my own choices for me? And it's like also the industry that I'm in I feel like my sister's the only one that takes it fucking serious Like this is like time. I'm very busy. So it's like when people are asking me and it's not even fucking Thanksgiving yet what I'm doing for Christmas and what time I'll be over and this and that it's like what the fuck? It's not even Thanksgiving and like I'm not going to give an answer because professionally I don't know what I'm doing. Like I'm a psalm, so I might have like somebody might offer me like a private dinner that's for like a band and I might want to take that because I can need new teeth.
Speaker 2:I'm going to Turkey, so I'm not going to people, please, and say, yeah, be there, and then kill myself running around on Christmas day just to like show up when like half the time, no one really gives a fuck if I'm there anyways, like because it's not like organic and it's not, it's just like to be there, to be there. I don't, I'm not doing that anymore. I've done that for years, so I'll go where I want to go and where I'm comfortable. Yeah, that's what we're doing, which I'm probably going to. Well, I know I am, excuse me y'all. I know that I'm going to be eating Chinese food and my sister's on Christmas Day.
Speaker 1:You bet your ass.
Speaker 2:I even got some fun Dolly Parton Christmas plates yeah it's going to be great and that's just a day where and I can just relax and just do me.
Speaker 1:Right, exactly, Relax with the little dictator, He'll be excited. I think he went through some TT separation when we got back, Did he? I think so. I mean, he asked a couple of times like where's TT? So it was cute. But asked a couple of times like where's TT, so it was cute. But yeah, so what would be a piece of advice if anybody was struggling that you would give Just one piece of advice you would give somebody who was struggling during this time of year.
Speaker 2:Just, I mean the holidays, just be thankful that you're alive and have gratitude and just always go to that. Because in this life, the choices that we have made, I always say, if you've made it through I listened to someone say this and it resonated the way that he said it but if you made it through any mental illness or addiction, you are that like you got something. So just like hone in on you and the fact that you're still walking on this planet, and just I think the holidays are a good time to just like hone in on gratitude and just be grateful and just have a have a plan. There's two pieces of advice have a plan. If you're struggling during the holidays, whatever you need to do, whatever your form of self-care is or your therapy or your program that you need to, if you need to lean on that, then just have it in your toolbox or ready to rip.
Speaker 1:Amen, sister Amen, I like it, I like it.
Speaker 2:That's what you got to do. And if you don't have a relationship with your family, just because they're your blood doesn't mean like you have to make yourself uncomfortable to hang out with them. Showing up once or twice a year just to say that you do because that's what's expected. If it triggers your nervous system and it's not a safe space for you, then don't go. You make your own family, you make your own traditions and sometimes the new traditions are lit because, like holding on to this old like way of traditions, it's like you're not that person anymore. So it could be like very triggering and they're not going to understand that because they're in their own shit and like dealing with their own stuff. So, like you, just if you're not comfortable, like explain it. Just if you don't want to go, don't go, it is fine, everything is okay.
Speaker 2:The holidays are hard for me. They're triggering. Obviously, with the holidays a lot of partying is happening, but if you don't want to go in a second for your mental health, just say I would be more comfortable. Can we do lunch the day after Christmas, can we? And it's still the holidays, just because it's not on the 25th, like let's all get real here and can I? Can we do a brunch? Can we go to lunch? Can we meet at a bookstore? Can we do this Like cause? That's more more comfortable with that, and if they aren't, with the shit, then that's fucked up. Then then.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and also, too, with a lot of dysfunctional families, the holidays are really like it's one of those things where you can say, oh, like, look, I have all my kids together on Christmas, everything's good, but then you don't see each other for the whole year.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to put myself in it with you on Christmas just so you can fill your cup, and that you can think that you're a fucking grandparent because you have your kids around holidays, and that really truly is a whole psychological thing for dysfunctional families with the parents Like the holidays are for show and to something that makes them feel better, but it doesn't make you feel better because these people won't be around you on a regular Monday. So, yeah, the holidays, they're triggering. And hey, listen, if you want to sit home and do nothing because a lot of people nowadays, christmas might be only the day of the week that you're off and if that is the only day of the week that you are off, then just sit there and kick it with yourself and be comfortable with that. There's no shame in that and that is okay to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that's like the only day that I'll be off, but I mean I can go into a safe space and relax.
Speaker 1:Yeah To fully decompress your nervous system.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, cause I'll be right back to it the next day. So, yeah, I think too this year it's like I'm now more like gonna do things that are good for me, not put myself in situations that just to make other people happy, those people pleasing days and codependent ways to make other people happy those people-pleasing days and codependent ways.
Speaker 1:I can't do it anymore. Listen, I hope. I hope, fingers crossed that I can get a sweet melody beady on the podcast here in January.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that would be amazing.
Speaker 1:Author of Codependent. No More, because codependency is real. Codependency and people-pleasing is real, especially in a lot of addicts, or if you're on the alcohol abuse disorder. That is, codependency is very, very real. All right, ceci, this was good conversation.
Speaker 2:Good conversation, the good people of the world. You guys, thank you for supporting us this year and everyone. Have a safe and happy holiday and just try your best, and if you need to reach out to us through DMs during the holidays, we're here for you. Just because you're alone doesn't mean you're alone, so always know that.
Speaker 1:That is very true. That quote deserves a couple snaps. Snap, bitch snap. Thank you for listening to the Living on the LA Series for 2024. And the next time you listen to Kimi and I it will be a new year. All right, keep on trucking. Bye.
