Sober Vibes Podcast

5 Signs You’re Ready to Quit Drinking

• Courtney Andersen • Season 6 • Episode 211

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Episode 211:5 Signs You’re Ready to Quit Drinking

In episode 211 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen discusses how detaching from alcohol can be daunting, but recognizing key signs can illuminate the path to sobriety. This episode explores five crucial indicators that reveal one's readiness to quit drinking and emphasizes the importance of support throughout the journey.

What you will learn in this episode:

  •  Feeling anxious and regretful about drinking 
  •  Noticing negative health effects 
  •  Exhaustion from the internal conflict of moderation 
  •  Experiencing strain in personal relationships 
  •  Persistent thoughts of wanting to quit 

Thank you for listening.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host, sober coach and author, courtney Anderson, and I am also your go-to guide to navigating life without booze. Welcome to episode 211. To navigating life without booze. Welcome to episode 211. Today's episode is going to be a litty and it is five signs you're ready to quit drinking.

Speaker 1:

First, my apologies for not being here. Last week. We got hit with the flu. January was the pits for being sick. I haven't been. January was the pits for being sick. I haven't been I don't know sick for almost a whole entire month and never, ever. So this is crazy. 2025 was a weird start, but here we are. We're going to keep moving forward. If you haven't gotten that flu I hope you don't, because it was the pits of how it started off with my husband, then it went to me and then it went to the dictator. We're all on the mend and we're moving forward. In February we are building our immune systems back up and we are just going to kick ass this year being healthy. That is the goal. What's your goal?

Speaker 1:

So today is a good topic of conversation and I hope this one helps you because, listen, when it comes to this process of quitting drinking alcohol. It takes people a long time. It truly does. It can take people a couple of years. It can take people, but it's few and far between. I just have to say I can't say this enough because it's very easy to sit there while watching people on social media and be like, oh man God, they just quit and then not understand that there was a complete struggle for four, three, two, one, many years, right. So you get to a point where it does take you quite some time and it is few and far between for one person to say, hey, I'm just going to give up drinking alcohol. And then they do it. Okay, I'm not trying to take anything away, when people get sober, for the health of it, of just saying, yeah, I mean, it didn't it, just I just wanted to work on my health, right, and then they could just quit and it was easy for them. For majority of the gen pop, that just doesn't. It doesn't work because a lot of people of the gen pop have this emotional dependency on alcohol. It is an addiction. Alcohol, at the end of the day, is a highly addictive substance and it has become very habitual. Okay, but your relationship is your relationship with alcohol, and now this one is just.

Speaker 1:

This episode is for you, if you need to hear these. There's some people who just need to hear this type of stuff to be like all right, I got it, I got it. It's like same thing for a lot of the women that I coach one-on-one. They need to hear no, you're doing the right thing, this is, you're on the right track, this is you need. They need that reinforcement. You might need this reinforcement today about five key signs that you're ready to quit drinking alcohol. Grab yourself a little Bev a non-alcoholic Bev, soda water, coffee, coca-cola Classic and get ready to dive into this episode. All right, so, recognizing the five signs you're ready to quit drinking right.

Speaker 1:

Sign number one you feel more anxiety and regret after drinking. Sound familiar, waking up with guilt, regret or anxiety after a night of drinking. This can also, too, be waking up at that 3 am hour when you're waking up out of bed, right, where you're like sitting there sweating, and then your mind starts racing and that is all due because of alcohol. Right, you're not enjoying to in this. If you feel more anxiety with the sign number one, you're also not enjoying drinking anymore, but you're feeling stuck in a cycle, and this is where so many people get stuck. This is a lot of people's. The end of their drinking cycle is exactly that You're not enjoying drinking anymore, but you're feeling stuck in the cycle and not knowing how to get the F out of it. Okay, that one is huge. I have to say the last of my drinking days, no-transcript. I'm not going to be able to do this anymore. There's going to be one day that I have to give up drinking alcohol. So you might just be right now like why I don't enjoy this, why do I keep doing it, but it is a cycle that you get stuck in. That's why I'm saying this is a lot of habitual.

Speaker 1:

And then the dependency on alcohol and I know people don't like to hear that, but that is the reality, and I am just here to spit some facts to you and some truth that you have developed a dependency on alcohol. That is why you hear me talk about a lot about of emotional dependencies, because not everybody is physically dependent, because not everybody is physically dependent. However, if you are sitting there having to drink the next day to make yourself feel better, guess what? You have become physically dependent on alcohol to make yourself feel better, to drink away. You know, hair of the dog, as people like to say, to feel better. And I want to say that because a lot of people there's a judgment that, like I, don't have this physical dependency on alcohol, like where you think that you're better than somebody who might be homeless and has visible shakes because they are a drinker who has become very dependent on alcohol. I know a lot of people who have gone through a cycle of medical detoxing and ERs because that is where their drinking took them into the dependency of it. Just because you don't have the physical dependency, it doesn't make you any better. Emotional dependency is an emotional dependency. A dependency on alcohol is a dependency on alcohol, whether it's emotional or physical. Right, we're no better, and I say that because I want everybody to check themselves before they wreck themselves.

Speaker 1:

I had to go through that process too, and in my sobriety I had to learn that we always have to keep keeping our ego in check here, because when our ego comes back around and it comes up and rises up, that's also, too, where we can get into some trouble thinking we can handle alcohol and start slowly introducing it back into our lives. And then you wake up one day and you're like fuck, how did I get here? This is where I was when I quit drinking the first time, okay. Number two drinking is affecting your health, or this is sign number two drinking is affecting your health Noticing poor sleep, weight gain or feeling very sluggish, right Increased hangovers, or feeling unwell after drinking. Number three you're tired of the mental tug war. This one is fucking huge and this is where, when you get out of that cycle and you quit drinking, this is where you will find the freedom, and this is freedom that I specifically talk about and felt myself okay. So constantly questioning your drinking but struggling to stop. Okay, feeling exhausted from negotiating with yourself over how much you'll drink.

Speaker 1:

Sign number three, also two this is where the moderation game comes into place, and people who don't have drinking problems they don't have to do a moderation game with themselves. This would be a person who would be like, yeah, I have one to two drinks a month. It's take it or leave it, right, but if you are trying to moderate your drinking and making rules, raise your hand. If you've made a lot of rules on your drinking, I have my hand up. This is where this is a problem and this is where this, the moderation game, is literally hell. I would compare it to the flu that I just had Like legit hell.

Speaker 1:

You are stuck in this game that you are trying to make a substance work into your life instead of just like raising the white flag and be like all right, dude, I surrender, this is too much. You keep trying and trying. And why do you keep trying and trying? Because, again, there's this dependency with alcohol. Until one day you break free of it, you get some clarity. I have a couple of one-on-one clients right now who are kicking ass and I have asked do you see now? Because your past 30 days where you see the clarity that you have because of sobriety, but now you can see how that moderation game is all a lie, in that it's actually it's a game that just keeps you stuck and stuck until you break free of it. And all of them have said, yes, you see it after a certain point where it was just like man, that was exhausting, that was a lot of thinking about drinking when I wasn't drinking and even in early sobriety. You're going to think about drinking quite some time, especially in those 30 days, but then it gets easier and because you're making a new lifestyle for yourself. So then, therefore, the thoughts of that are not as big as they once were.

Speaker 1:

Right, being tired of the mental tug of war. If you were there, this is your sign. The only thing that is going to break you free out of that is if you give up drinking alcohol for good Period, point blank. When you keep introducing it into your system, you keep then just wanting more and there goes that dependency. There goes that. Then you have to detox it out of your cycle. Then you come back to it, right. Then it's oh God. Then it takes you three days to recover from a hangover, because your hangovers aren't what they used to be like when you were 21, where you could bounce back easy. Now you're 45 and these hangovers are lasting for days on end, right. So get out of the tug of war, get out of the moderation game, and that is where I am a firm believer of just not introducing it back into your life. You can't, and you got to remember, too, what that moderation game was like for you.

Speaker 1:

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Speaker 1:

Sign number four alcohol is impacting your relationships, noticing tension with loved ones due to drinking, feeling disconnected or ashamed about your drinking habits. This can look different ways with different types of relationship, especially for moms. I know that is a hard one to feel disconnected from your kids or feeling the shame of the mom, guilt of the years you spent drinking and not focusing I shouldn't say not focusing on your children, but not being present for them. Same thing there can be tension between you and your spouse, you and your partner, and it's always going to be looked at. When is this not going to be an issue? When is this not going to be an issue? Going back to the moderation game too, you got to give something up, and that is alcohol. Right, like you cannot have your cake and eat it too when it comes to this, because the relationship with alcohol is only going to intensify as you age and get worse and worse. I have yet to see somebody be like I have such a better relationship with alcohol as I've gotten older. It's majority, not the case, especially if there was already a problematic relationship with it. Nobody is getting better in their drinking. It's usually they get worse and worse. Right, so sign number five.

Speaker 1:

You keep thinking about quitting. Here we go. This is the last one. Maybe you're Googling am I drinking too much? Finding yourself drawn to sober content, books, podcasts Maybe you've been listening to this episode or this podcast for the last three to four years, and it's just okay. When are you gonna pull the trigger? And the time is now, because I don't want you to be coming into 2026 and saying to yourself like shit, I just wasted another year. We don't have time to keep wasting another year on a substance that doesn't give a fuck about us, it doesn't care, it does not care, it wants us sick and it will keep us very small and it you have one life.

Speaker 1:

I don't think I've ever fully shared this, but I have always been a person, and I think that is why as well, when I was going through the process of quitting drinking and in those first couple of years of that is something that I held on tight. I don't know what it was, but I've always been a person where it was like maybe I just watched too many movies in my day or respected the elderly where you hear people on their deathbed. It was like maybe I just watched too many movies in my day or respected the elderly where you hear people on their deathbed of being like what is? Or if they're very old, what is one thing that you could tell somebody? And I never wanted to be a person on my deathbed looking back at my life and regretting I wish I would have done this sooner, right, or I wish I would have done A, b and C.

Speaker 1:

So for me it was at that point in those first couple of years where it's I don't want to look back and regret that I never did this and then all of the missed opportunities continue to happen in my life. So, even if that's something you need to look into your 95-year-old self, 100-year-old self, whatever age you want to live to I personally want to live to 100, where you look at that person and honestly and look back and be like, okay, I mean, I had many good years, I quit drinking when I needed to and then that forever changed my life but also, too, got me to the point where I'm on my deathbed now and I don't have any regrets. I know it sounds a little bit ridiculous, but that was something that always helped me of just thinking of that point of no regrets, right, and I know a lot of people who do quit drinking, especially women, who have told me where they're like I wish I would have when I had the dictator. A lot of women were like I wish I would have had those precious moments. I wish I could have that back. I wish I would have quit drinking sooner to go through that experience, because it goes by so quick and all of that. That is stuff I've held on to. So if you can hold on to anything of people's words, it's you just don't want to regret anything at the end of your life or to or something of a substance that is going to cause you to continue to be sick and possibly take away your life sooner rather than later. And that's the facts of it, because alcohol kills people and has been slowly killing people for hundreds of years.

Speaker 1:

So again, the biggest reason people don't quit is the fear of failing, which I did a podcast episode about that back in season five. So look for that one, and I believe the title is like the fear of failure. Right, quitting isn't about perfection, it's about progress, and I know that it's very easy to sit there on day three and be like I'm scared, I don't want to fuck this up, and it's okay, you're not going to fuck it up. This is your journey and even if in six months you have a slip, you have a slip. You just have to catch yourself before you allow it to completely take you down. So catch yourself if you are in the middle of a slip right now and fucking get back on the horse. But there's no failing here. I don't know when I think I have an idea of actually why this has become such a pass fail thing. I'm not going to vocalize that though right now. That's for a different episode.

Speaker 1:

But just know that, because of how incredibly saturated this world is with alcohol, how embedded it is in our culture, how embedded it is in your family dynamic, that it is easy to slip. It doesn't make you a failure. It makes you a human being. Right, look at it as just you are going to try your best each day. Take out the failure in this. Just take out the failure in this. Right, looking back at my sobriety, you could look at it, and it's some things I didn't handle emotionally mature enough that could have been looked at a failure. Because I didn't slip on some booze Doesn't mean that I didn't fucking lash out in those first 90 days I lashed out at Matt one time my husband. Still to this day I felt bad about that one, but I handled that emotionally poorly. Right, but it's not a failure. You have to process things, how you process them and move forward. So take out the failing and just, you're going to do your best. You can each day right and that it's not about perfection, it's just about progress as cheesy as that quote is, but it's so very true and reframe these setbacks as learning experiences.

Speaker 1:

What was I doing? What do I need more of? Do I need to dive more into help and a supportive space? Do I need more accountability? Did I need to sit that social event out? Because a lot of people do not want to sit these social events out. And those first couple months you need to. You need to Stop putting yourself in jeopardizing situations because you cannot say no, because your people-pleasing it's more number one for you than your sobriety. You need to protect your sobriety at all costs, especially in those first couple months. Am I telling you to be a hermit? No, I am not, but I do believe on those first 30 days to dial back your social calendar and even to going forward past 30 days to really dig deep into.

Speaker 1:

If you wake up on a Saturday feeling a certain type of way and women, maybe because you're having your period and you fucking hate life and you could kick a dude in the dick. Maybe that's not a good time for you to go out with your girlfriends that evening because you are already feeling sassy and that is okay. You really have to dig into your internal compass of how you feel. We all have those days where we're like, fuck, I just want to go home, put on some sweaty peas, sweatpants, some sweaty peas and I just want to eat ice cream and be left alone and I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk. Instead of forcing yourself through what your body is craving, you actually just you know, you listen to it and you stay home and then you avoid a trigger where then you would be end up drinking that evening. Right, listen to your internal compass each day.

Speaker 1:

When it comes to social plans, okay. Steps to take when you are ready. Okay, so you're going to write down your why. What's motivating you to change what's? These are steps to take when you're ready, when you're ready to quit drinking. Write down your why. What's motivating you to change? Right, like, what is the reason you're giving up alcohol? Tell someone you trust, be accountable to somebody else besides yourself, and if you don't have anybody you can trust, there are in-person meetings. There are online support groups. You could start seeing a therapist. You could see a coach. Whatever the case may be, tell somebody out of yourself so you are accountable to somebody else besides your own bullshit, respectively.

Speaker 1:

I say that respect, but because we have given ourselves such a pass, our word right now is a little hard to take ourselves serious, right, when we have broken our promise to ourself time and time again. Start small, okay, just focus on today, right, just focus on today. I'm not going to tell you to take 30-day challenges. Just focus today on not drinking. Then tomorrow, focus on the next day. Stop getting ahead of yourself.

Speaker 1:

A lot of people tend to get ahead of themselves and start thinking about what it would be like in a year to not drink. You are going to overwhelm the fuck out of yourself and I will tell you this the person you are today, at day one, is a completely fucking different person than a person who is at one year of sobriety. Completely different, okay, but we're just going to focus on who you are today and focus at one day at a time. All you have is today, okay, and then again going back to find support, community coaching, a therapist, accountability buddy, somebody outside of yourself, but the support helps for you to make this happen. This is one where, yes, can you do it on your own? Absolutely Anybody can do it on their own, but support really is key. It's just so different. You're not sitting there internalizing all of these thoughts you can share with people. You can get out of your own head and when it comes to this as well, we need to be getting out of our own heads, because our heads will fucking keep telling us to keep drinking, right, and making these like terrible worst case scenarios, right.

Speaker 1:

So if your gut has been telling you it is time for you to quit drinking, please listen to it. Please listen to it because it's never going to be wrong. It's never going to be wrong. My gut told me at 25, and from 25 to 29, I tried to moderate it, I tried to make it work. It no longer worked and then at 29, six weeks I'm sorry, six weeks into just being shy of 30, I gave it up and it was the best decision for me, and it's going to continue to be the best decision for me that I ever made, because that one decision led me to where I'm sitting today, and when I say where I'm sitting today, it's the fact that I had a kid. I was able to get married. These are lifelong things of what I want in my life to be like what I wanted, and it wouldn't have happened if I still continued to drink alcohol. That is a fact. That's a fact.

Speaker 1:

Again, recapping the five signs that you're ready right Sign one you feel more anxiety and regret about after drinking Drinking. Sign two drinking is affecting your health. Sign three you're tired of the mental tug of war. Sign four alcohol is impacting your relationships. Sign five you keep thinking about quitting.

Speaker 1:

Okay, as always, let me know if this episode has helped. If it has helped you, please share. If you haven't yet, don't forget to subscribe and write a review on wherever you are listening to your podcast. Specifically, if you can write a review on spotify and apple, I would greatly appreciate it. If you need any help in your journey, I have availability for one-on-one coaching. You can apply in the link below or visit my website, courtneyrecoveredcom. Under work with me, and also, too, you have my sobriety circle. That is my group coaching program. Lots and lots of love and support in there, and especially, too, with all of the women. They're very supportive of each other in there and there's two meetings a week as well as a bunch of resources in there, and especially, too, with all of the women. They're very supportive of each other in there and there's two meetings a week as well as a bunch of resources in it. Again, you can find the show notes in I'm sorry, the links in the show notes below. As always, keep on trucking and I hope this episode helped you.