3 Triggers to Watch Out for in a Sober Summer (and How to Handle Them with Confidence)

Episode 226:  3 Triggers to Watch Out for in a Sober Summer (and How to Handle Them with Confidence) 

In episode 226, Courtney Andersen chats about typical Summer triggers for sober and sober-curious folks to be prepared for in your journey.  If you're navigating an alcohol-free lifestyle, summer can come with some sneaky emotional triggers.

From patio season to beach days and late-night hangs, it’s not always easy to hold your ground, especially when everything around you says “just one drink won’t hurt.”

What you'll learn:

• How to handle “vacation mode” brain when your routines go out the window
• What to say when you're the only one not drinking at a BBQ
• How to stop romanticizing alcohol in those dreamy, golden-hour moments
• Your first sober summer is the hardest - it does get easier with each passing year
• You're modeling clarity for yourself and possibly inspiring others around you

Whether you’re on day 1 or year 5 of living alcohol-free, this episode will help you move through summer with more confidence, clarity, and self-trust.

No tips that make you feel like you’re “missing out.” Just real talk, mindset shifts, and grounded support.

🎧 Tune in and share with a friend who’s walking the same path.

Thank you for listening, and I hope this episode helps you today! 

Resources Mentioned:

Courtney's Website 

The Sobriety Circle

Ready to thrive in your alcohol-free life? Sober Vibes: A Guide to Thriving in Your First Three Months Without Alcohol is your step-by-step guide to navigating early sobriety with confidence.

Grab your copy today!

Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast.

Connect w/ Courtney:
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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Summer Challenges
• 4:30 The Vacation Mode Trap
• 7:24 The Just a Barbecue Spiral
• 12:33 The Rosé at Sunset Fantasy
• 16:15 Closing Thoughts and Encouragement

Transcript

Courtney Andersen: 0:31

Hey, welcome back to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host and sober coach. I'm also your go-to guide on how to live a life without booze and have a great time doing so. This is episode 226. I'm so glad you're back. If you're new here, welcome, welcome.

Courtney Andersen: 0:47

Today we are going to be talking about three alcohol-free triggers to prepare for when it comes to summer. I always like to drop a summer one, hopefully at the start. I don't know if I did it in the past, if it was at the start, but I just want to prep you, and since Memorial Day just happened, it's quote unquote, even though summer doesn't start till June, but it's really that first kickoff holiday. That's like the start of summer, right? This is going to be a quick episode. If you haven't yet, though, please rate, review and subscribe to the show, because those do help this little podcast that could. So this episode is really for anyone navigating an alcohol-free life currently and heading into the summer.

Courtney Andersen: 1:33

Whether this is your first sober summer or your fifth, the season can stir up emotions, especially, really, those first five years. Now listen, it gets easier. It really does. The first one is hard as fuck. I'm not going to lie to you on that. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It's different, right, like that whole first year. It's just different because you start learning how to live life without alcohol in new associations. And one big, huge association is when the weather changes In the summertime, one screams let me sit on a patio. Screams. If you are into the lake life, right, the beach, vacations, your kids are now going to be home from school, right Like bonfires, bbqs, all of that, right. So there's so many associations with alcohol in all of this. So if you feel a certain type of way about summer, I get it, I get it. I mean that first 4th of July, I was like, oh my God, is this really happening? That was very hard for me that 4th of July, because I do love a 4th of July and I love it because it's an easy holiday, it's fun, it's warm out, right Like it's a fun holiday Some fireworks, sparklers, good food. So that first one was hard. And then into the second and the third one, it got easier, but it was still a little bit different. So that is why I always suggest you to start doing stuff for yourself and creating your own type of traditions and how you celebrate summer and these summer holidays and I told the gals in the sobriety circle this past weekend we had two meetings over the weekend. You definitely need to check that out if you are wanting more support and especially to going into the summertime, lots to come in the sober circle and you can still get access to the free trial because as of June 1st the free trial is going to go away.

Courtney Andersen: 3:41

I'm starting to add some podcast episodes only specifically for the Silver Circle, so that's exclusive going into that. So check it out. The link is in the show notes below or go to CourtneyRecoveredcom and you can find the information on my website. What I was telling them was you got to get through the first one, the first and the second. So I was like on 4th of July, because it's such a major holiday, after that, one Labor Day is going to be a breeze, so just keep with it and just keep getting through another day sober. So I want to walk you through these three common triggers and how to move through them without falling into the trap of just this once okay, because your brain might be telling you that when it comes to this summer.

Courtney Andersen: 4:30

So number one, the vacation mode trap okay, you're out of your routine right Again. It's a beautiful sunny day, maybe you're at a beach house Again. Maybe you're on your own patio. Maybe you're at a friend's barbecue and someone offers you a drink like it's no big deal. Here's when you're alcohol-free, you're sober journey. Everything gets louder when your routines disappear right Again, of maybe being at one of these things so early in the day compared to spring, fall and winter, it was like oh no, no, no, I'm at my house, right. So it's not about willpower, it's about identity. You're not the person who can't drink, You're the person who chooses not to right Because you're not willing to trade short-term relief for long-term clarity. Keep that in mind. So if somebody offers you a cocktail, it's nope and you're not going to go in that direction.

Courtney Andersen: 5:35

So when the vacation mode hits, you need to ask what the future me is going to be proud of. For example, let's just use this for Memorial Day, since this weekend just passed, am I going to be super fucking proud of myself that I didn't drink on Monday and I woke up on Tuesday feeling like a million bucks? And to being proud of myself? I didn't drink, and that was my first summer holiday that I didn't drink, that you made it through. You always have to play that tape forward right.

Courtney Andersen: 6:16

And again, the summer, even if you're not on vacation mode. I just want you to understand the concept of it, of feeling like because it is for a lot of years too, I'm sure it was everything's a little bit more laid back in the summer, because it is summer and it can feel like that. So just keep that in mind. What will your future self be proud of? Or is your future self going to then wake up in the morning time, if you choose drinking today, wake up in the morning time and be like why did I blow it all away? For two hours of joy and I say joy loosely because it's just. It's two hours of zoning out right, because then it's just. Then you go through the hangover process and it's a mess. So it's an hour to two hours of what could feel for some, some euphoria. Hours of what could feel for some some euphoria. Again, I guess a little bit of joy. Not worth it? It's not worth it, all right. Number two the just a barbecue spiral.

Courtney Andersen: 7:26

So there's the idea that summer gatherings are casual, but if you've ever been the only one not drinking at one of these parties, you know it, it can feel anything but casual. You feel like people staring at you. You feel like people are constantly asking you like, what are you drinking? So here is your prep you need to bring your own drink. Bring something you actually want to sip, and do not I repeat, do not unless you, like, really truly know these people and they reach out to you and know you're quitting drinking and ask you like, hey, can I supply something? Don't assume they're going to have the choice of beverage for you at their house. You might really love a Diet Pepsi right now and I'm being serious, you might really love a Diet Pepsi, and the chances of somebody else having a Diet Pepsi at their house are really slim to none, because they could be Coke drinkers. Okay, you really might love NA beers right now. That might be your choice and you might just assume oh yeah, they'll have NA beers there and you get there, and of course, there's no NA beers, because a lot of people who drink don't think about having NA beers in their home. This is a true story, okay, so don't assume that they're going to get you covered unless you specifically talk to them.

Courtney Andersen: 8:45

So bring your own beverage, even if it's just your own designer brand, whatever your Stanley cup full of a little mocktail you put in there for yourself, or your own security water cup. I feel like I have that now because I go everywhere with my, with my water bottle. That that is. Bring that okay, because it will make you feel comfortable Even if it's a 90 degree day and you like to drink hot coffee on a stop by Starbucks before you go to that barbecue and bring your ass in that hot coffee to that barbecue, where it's probably going to be 100 degrees. Okay, be that person. Sometimes I am. It's gross, but I just love a hot coffee. All right, so have this is the other one. Have a line ready, something short and simple and confident. If somebody asks you if you want to drink, I'm good. Okay, no, thank you, I'm good, I have an early day tomorrow. You want to drink? I'm good, okay, no, thank you, I'm good, I have an early day tomorrow. No, thank you, I'm good, I'm driving. Okay.

Courtney Andersen: 9:59

I'm not gonna tell you that no is a complete sentence. It is, and I have mentioned that a lot of times, but I really need to narrow down that phrase because I had this conversation the other day with somebody and two. I've thought about it a lot, like when you're in those first couple months of sobriety, standing by no is a complete sentence is very hard Okay, even those first couple of years and for people pleasers that's very hard, and for people pleasers that's very hard. And when you've been saying yes for so long and just going with the flow, like it's really hard to be like no is a complete sentence and just saying no and dead staring at a person after that. So prepare a little line, because I swear, when you prepare something, then when it happens to you you don't get caught off guard and then you don't start stuttering over your words. And then if that happens and you're like, oh my God, like super embarrassed, it happens, super embarrassed and it's just God, or you end up drinking or you might just end up saying yes, because that's what auto, what happens with autopilot. So, honestly, just think of a little little oneliner that you can think of before and have that prepared. And also, you need to walk in with confidence, walk in grounded, because you are when I say that walk in with confidence of you already know you're not going to go there and drink. You have your security blanket. That is a beverage. You prepared what you were going to say. If somebody asks you if you want alcohol and you now know that giving up drinking is the best thing you have done for yourself. So walk in and own that party and have fun. So you're not making anyone uncomfortable. Okay, you are modeling clarity for yourself and I swear there is going to be a day when you tell people that you have quit drinking, that one of those friends you told are going to come up to you and ask you how did you do it? Can you help me out? Can you send me in the right direction? Right, trust me, it happens to everybody that I have come in contact with who has quit drinking, and I have shared this with them. Where it does happen, all right.

Courtney Andersen: 12:28

Number three the rosé at sunset fantasy. Okay, this one it's soft light. You got a glass of rosé wine, whatever it is. Maybe it's a beer for you, right, you have this fantasy of what summer is supposed to look like. But what this fantasy leaves out, right, what this picturesque leaves out, is the headache, the regret, the shame spiral that will come up the next day, right, not even the headache. Maybe you have come to the point of your drinking where you dry heap the next day, right. But that regret, the shame spiral, the anxiety that is now turning into panic attacks, the also to the 3 am wake-ups, where you're sitting there lying up at night and you are fucking spiraling in your head of why did I do that? And the reason you're up at 3 am is because it's the alcohol that is keeping you up, because you really don't get quality sleep when you've been drinking. It actually does the complete opposite to your sleep cycle.

Courtney Andersen: 13:36

So you do not need a buzz to make a moment beautiful. You can sit on a beach, you can watch a sunset with a glass of water flat or sparkling, okay and you can sit there and what it is about is being in that moment, watching one of the most beautiful things we can witness every day, honestly, is that sun setting, that golden hour, right, like one of the most beautiful times of day, and it's about that. And you don't need alcohol to enjoy that, so you're not missing out on anything. You are truly being present for a memorable moment. And then let's put in of who is maybe around you in that memorable moment, right? Maybe you're sitting there with your daughter and she's confiding in you and you're actually sitting there, being present.

Courtney Andersen: 14:40

And here's the flip side of that your daughter remembering that 20 years down the road to be like I'm so happy that my mom was present for me and that she quit drinking when she did, because I like this mom better. This is a true story. And if you're a dad listening out there, same thing. If you're a woman or a man not having kids and you have a niece or nephew, same thing, where they're like oh, I'm so happy Aunt Molly was present for me because I like her better without her drinking. This is truth. So that's what makes that type of thing real. It's not alcohol, it's just truly being present and in that moment and enjoying and enjoying what you have right then.

Courtney Andersen: 15:33

And there Again, my favorite affirmation I'm exactly where I need to be right now. And keep taking that with you along this journey. When you're having those doubts of either whether it's high anxiety or like, why am I doing this? And if you keep telling yourself that it is, yeah, this is what I need to be doing right now in my story, right? So, whether you're feeling strong in your alcohol-free identity or just hanging on by a thread, because I know that there's days that are like that, you're doing awesome, okay, and you're choosing presence, you're choosing clarity and, at the end of the day, you're choosing you and what's best for you.

Courtney Andersen: 16:15

I hope this episode helps you. I hope this gives you, I hope it gives you the confidence to go into the summer of what really to prep for and prepare for when it comes to these triggers, because they will come up. And when they do come up, I need you to send me a DM on Instagram my supervised account and let me know and how you handled it, cause I would love to hear back from you. So have an amazing, safe summer. There's still more episodes to come, but just have an amazing, safe summer and keep kicking ass and trucking out there.