Alcohol and Stress: The Hidden Link Between Drinking and Burnout (And How To Relax Without Alcohol)

Do you reach for a drink at the end of a stressful day, thinking it will help you relax? You’re not alone. Stress is one of the biggest triggers for drinking but alcohol and stress are more connected than most people realize.

In episode 241 of the Sober Vibes Podcast, I’m breaking down the hidden link between alcohol and burnout, why that “relief” you feel is temporary, and how alcohol quietly fuels anxiety, poor sleep, and exhaustion. You’ll also learn what to do instead so you can handle stress in healthy, lasting ways.

Here’s what you will learn in this episode:

•  Why alcohol spikes cortisol and disrupts your nervous system
•  How alcohol and sleep are connected (and why rest improves without booze)
•  The burnout cycle: stress → drink → poor sleep → more stress → repeat
•  Why emotional avoidance keeps you stuck—and how to start practicing emotional sobriety
•  Simple daily rituals to relax without pouring a drink
•  How support from a sober coach can help you break the stress-drink-burnout cycle

If you’ve been telling yourself alcohol is the answer to stress, this episode will show you the truth and give you tools to relax without it.

And if you’re ready for extra support, that’s exactly what I do with my clients. Coaching gives you tools that actually work, so you don’t have to white-knuckle stress on your own.

Resources Mentioned:

Sober 1:1 Coaching 

The Sobriety Circle 

The After-Emotional Sobriety Guide

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Hope this episode helps you today, and thank you for tuning in!

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Chapters

• 0:00 Alcohol Creates Stress, Not Relief
• 8:07 The Burnout-Alcohol Cycle Explained
• 13:14 Micro Rituals to Reset Your System
• 17:52 Redefining What Relaxation Means
• 20:41 Breaking Free from Stress-Drinking Patterns

Transcript

Courtney Andersen: 0:00

Do you ever find yourself reaching for a drink at the end of a stressful day, telling yourself it's the only way for you to relax? The truth is, alcohol doesn't take away stress. It actually just adds to your stress or makes it worse. In today's episode, I'm breaking down the hidden link between alcohol and burnout and I'll give you practical tools to truly relax without needing a drink burnout and I'll give you practical tools to truly relax without needing a drink. Welcome to Sober Vibes, your podcast for alcohol-free lifestyle tips and real talk about long-term sobriety. I'm your host, courtney Anderson, sober coach, author and mom. Each week, I share strategies, stories and encouragement to help you navigate cravings, build confidence and thrive in sobriety. Whether you're sober, curious or years in, this is your space to feel supported and inspired. Hey, welcome back to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host and sober coach, courtney Anderson, and this is episode 241. Still, to this day, I cannot believe we have 241 episodes. So, if you are listening, thank you so much for tuning in, and if you are watching on YouTube, thank you so much for being here and being a viewer. I got to get used to this YouTube thing.

Courtney Andersen: 1:17

So today we're talking about stress and how stress is one of the biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest triggers back, not only in my drinking days, but in your drinking days as well. I mean stress for anybody. It's awful, right. So I thought alcohol was my cure. Right, like how to unwind from at that time when I was working a shift at the bar, drink afterwards right, or even two in that first year and a half when I was working at the pain clinic before I went full time in the pain clinic. Like that happy hour of winding down after a long day at the pain clinic and having drinks right, cocktails on the weekend, anything to take the edge off. But I wasn't calming myself down. What it left me with was anxious and restless and completely drained. Again, I thought alcohol was the answer, because that is actually what we have been programmed to believe that to relieve stress. Alcohol will help us with that.

Courtney Andersen: 2:26

So today we're going to unpack why alcohol and stress are so connected and why that relief you feel is just temporary and, most importantly, what you can do instead Before we dive in. If you've been using alcohol to cope with stress but it only is making things harder, I love to help you create new tools that actually work for you and fit for you and your personality type. So if you are needing help, explore one-on-one coaching options with me. The link is in the show notes below. And again, you do not have to do this alone. Actually, doing this alone is probably one of the worst things you can do for yourself, especially in this journey, because it's so isolating. Again, link is in the show notes for my one-on-one sober coaching and to my sobriety circle. That is my coaching community and that is for women only. So let's get into it All right. Into it All right.

Courtney Andersen: 3:31

Alcohol creates stress. It doesn't relieve it, right. Here's the thing. Alcohol doesn't calm your stress, it just sedates it. Right. It sedates you for a little little bit, it numbs you out for a little bit. That's why you feel that like warm exhale once it hits your lips and gets into your system. Or some people it's a sip, some other people it's a whole, it takes them a whole glass. It's not relaxation, it's your central nervous system calming down.

Courtney Andersen: 3:55

And a lot in sobriety, too, is all about regulating your nervous system. That you have to do and that a lot of people don't understand, that they have to do. That that's for another day. But here's the kick in the ass. As your body processes alcohol, it actually spikes your stress hormone, that is, cortisol. Your heart rate and your blood pressure rises. Your sleep gets disruptive and your brain starts working overtime to rebalance itself. The next morning you wake up more anxious, foggier and more stressed than you were before, and the more often you think to relax, the more your body adjusts by pumping out stress chemicals, even when you're not drinking. You heard me just laugh because it's so unbelievable when you are out of this cycle, and again of how I said that there was like a conditioning to believe that alcohol really calms you down and it just. What it does to your body is the complete opposite, and I fed into that for a very long time. And even after getting sober, it's okay. What do I do? To like de-stress, right so, but going back to it. But instead of it lowering the stress, alcohol sets you up to live in a state of constant burnout because of the damage it's doing to your body, and this is where then the burnout cycle comes into play. You're stressed at work or you're overwhelmed at home, right with the kids, so you pour a drink For an hour or two, you feel lighter, but then you sleep awful, wake up groggy, snap at your kids or your co-workers or your partner and the stress piles on again in that particular day. So what do you do? Again, you drink.

Courtney Andersen: 5:51

In my book I talk about this. I talk about a 24-hour cycle. So if you have not checked out my book yet, check it out, because I make you go through a 24-hour cycle of your day and what I'm describing is this in it it becomes this cycle, this wheel, this ride right, the stress, drink more stress, drink again, and the cycle never truly gets to the root of the problem. It just keeps you going and going and going and running around in circles and being like when will this end? So stress itself isn't the enemy.

Courtney Andersen: 6:35

Stress is a signal in your body saying, hey, I need attention, right? The problem is that, instead of listening, alcohol lets you mute that signal and where you're going, numb and completely numbing out and using this to cope. So you don't have to deal with that. I know when I'm sitting here talking about this with you today, it just alcohol is just an easy way out, right? I don't want to say like a lazy man's, but it's just an easy way out and something that I will go back to time and time again that we have conditioned and then, in the process of it, then you becoming addicted to this substance, because alcohol is a highly addictive substance and I know a lot of people don't want to hear that, but it is the truth. And then you start having, not only with this addiction, but then you start having that emotional dependency on booze, right when it's. Oh, this helps me de-stress myself, so let me just go to that right.

Courtney Andersen: 7:38

But when you avoid stress, you don't make it disappear, you just store it right. It just becomes stagnant. That's why journaling, talking things out, moving your body or just sitting with your feelings feels uncomfortable at first. It truly does. It's because you're actually starting to process what you used to drown out, actually starting to process what you used to drown out. But processing is how stress moves through you instead of piling up inside of you.

Courtney Andersen: 8:08

Okay, so what to do instead of reaching for the drink? This is where I love micro rituals, right, little daily habits that reset your nervous system. This is why I'm a huge fan of starting myself off during the day with what helps me, keeps me grounded. Okay, and this I learned this very early. I would probably say around year three, I started to incorporate these little rituals in my morning time for my morning routine. So five minutes of deep breathing. You can do this in the morning or you can do this in bedtime. Make it work for you. Making a cup of tea, hot water, maybe decaf coffee is your jam, okay, sitting with it, not scrolling, waking up outside or, I'm sorry, walking outside and letting your body move, stress out, right.

Courtney Andersen: 9:01

Putting on music. Music therapy does a world of good. Have you ever noticed when you put on music or you're in your car and you're singing, all of a sudden your mood starts to lighten and you feel better. Like when I go for my, for my power walks, when I go through my therapy walks, I sing loud and I don't give a fuck anymore. I don't, I do not care, I'm like I don't care if my neighbor sees me. I hope they see me and be like oh man, that girl's really having a good time on her walk. I just don't care because it makes me feel better, right? So putting on the music you love and letting it shift your energy is amazing. So these rituals may sound small, but stacked together they actually train your nervous system to regulate without alcohol, and the more you do them, the less you'll crave that nightly glass of wine.

Courtney Andersen: 9:54

I have a one-on-one client I'm working with now and she loves her self-care routine now at nighttime and it lasts for about an hour and it consists of just reading, doing a little meditation and then her red light therapy. But that is something now and she just hit over 95 days is the time I record this and it's something that, of course, felt awkward for her at first, and now it's something that she craves. Why does she crave it? Because it makes her feel better and also that this has become part of her new routine. This is a part of this is just now a part of her day-to-day, like once drinking used to be right. So I encourage you to pick something in those little micro habits into your day-to-day that works for you, because if there's something where you're like, yeah, that doesn't like sound like a good time, right, but like maybe it's something else that feels better for you. Maybe, instead of making a cup of tea, grab a mocktail, you really have to. This is so personal to everybody that you really do have to figure out what's going to help you and don't just go a week and be like well, that didn't help. You do have to give it some time and you have to give it honestly. You have to be consistent with it and give it past 90 days, because remember how long alcohol has been in your life, for you have to give this new habit and these new little daily rituals a chance to catch up with where you are at. Hey, good people of the world, it's Courtney.

Courtney Andersen: 11:30

And if you're in your first year or your fifth year of sobriety, let's be real. Summers can be tough, like a very, very, very challenging. It took me a couple summers to finally feel comfortable. There's something about warm weather, parties and poolside drinks that can make it feel like everybody's drinking but you. But just because drinking culture ramps up, especially during this time, doesn't mean your progress has to slow down. That's where a tool like SoberLink can help. It's a high-tech breathalyzer that helps people in recovery stay accountable, not through shame, but through structure, scheduled daily tests. Let you share instant, verified results with the people who support you, so you don't have to do it alone, worried someone might question your results. They can't, because Soberlink uses facial recognition and tamper detection, so there's no way to cheat it, whether you're rebuilding trust or you just want that extra layer of support. This summer, soberlink is here to help you stay the course of your journey. I've witnessed people benefit from Soberlink and I want you to be the next people benefit from Soberlink and I want you to be the next. Visit wwwsoberlinkcom. Forward slash sober dash vibes to sign up and receive 50% off your device today. You can also check the link in the show notes below.

Courtney Andersen: 12:59

Another big shift you can do is redefining what relaxation even means. For everybody it's going to be different, so for so long I thought relaxing meant drinking, blowing off some steam. I don't know, blowing off steam just makes me giggle. I don't know what it is, but it just. I don't know, blowing off steam just makes me giggle. I don't know what it is, but it just makes me giggle. That was my association.

Courtney Andersen: 13:24

If you've been a listener of this podcast for a long time, you've heard me talk about, like weather time, associations, right Even to this last episode. I just did for episode, this first episode of season seven. I was talking about having a that, or was it the last one About the fall reset. That was the last episode of season six and really there's associations with seasons. There's association with holidays, and majority of that is drinking. That's why those become very hard for you in the beginning to get past it, because that's what you did for so, so, so long, right. So you have to now start redefining what relaxation means to you and coming up with new associations to it.

Courtney Andersen: 14:10

Relaxing now means for me again showers at nighttime, like reading. I'm in a really good book right now. Reading that to me, is relaxing and calming and it just has me focusing on that. Napping, taking naps, love it, laughing with my son that is very enjoyable. And, of course, my therapy walks. Those therapy walks have done me a world of wonders since having a kid, because when I had a kid I had then my whole life changed.

Courtney Andersen: 14:45

And if you haven't had a kid yet and are going through that, it's not like a. I want to warn you about this, but just really know you might think that you have it all figured out. I thought I did. At that point was like, yeah, this is going to be like easy breezy. It's going to be like easy breezy, but like motherhood does break you down, it rips you apart, it builds you back up and you really do. There's a whole identity that comes into motherhood. But so now my type of relaxation looks a little bit different, now that I have the component of now that I'm a mom.

Courtney Andersen: 15:22

But honestly, like laughing and being very present with my son, with him, that is relaxing, as long as he's not rope housing, I don't for the boy moms out there, dude, I can't do the type of rope I can't do. Rope housing, I can't. I don't know what it does. It invokes something with me where I'm just like I don't want to be, I don't want to wrestle. No, thank you. Anybody else, please slide into my DMs and let me know about that. I think I've brought this up here on this podcast before, but I don't know. It's just the roughhousing. I'm like you can do that with your father let's draw, let's build blocks, let's go play at the park, let's play hide and seek. That's the type of play I enjoy doing with them. So, again, these types of things restore me rather than drain me. Very personal, right, and that's where you have to find what restores you.

Courtney Andersen: 16:16

If you link to alcohol and relaxation in your brain, which I'm sure a majority of you listening to this today have, it's time to start building new associations, right, mocktail and Netflix, hulu, whatever streaming of choice. Have a mocktail there. You have a Coca-Cola there, coffee, whatever, something to replace that alcohol. Right, right, maybe now be a cozy blanket. We're going into cozy, cozy fall time. Right, a cozy blanket and some journaling, talking to a friend. For some of you who are very extroverted, and talking to a friend could be relaxing. Teaching yourself something new with your little hands right again. Teaching yourself something new. Teaching your little hands right Again. Teaching yourself something new, teaching being a student of life and teaching yourself this that you can unwind without alcohol running the show.

Courtney Andersen: 17:14

And that is one that is very helpful because it's helping you focus on something besides your own ass and besides alcohol. Like truly A lot of this is like you have to get outside of yourself and stop thinking, because these thinking drinking thoughts get very intense, so sometimes you just have to tell yourself to just to shut that up, okay, and finally, I want to say this too If stress has been your drinking trigger for years, it's going to take some time and support to rewire that pattern right, and you can do a lot of it on your own. But again, I highly recommend for you to find some type of community, some type of help, whether that's coaching, therapy, any of that for accountability that will help you speed up the process in your own time and in your own way. Okay, because everybody has their own time frame of it. But again, I am a firm believer of not doing this alone and not trying to white knuckle it alone when something is no longer working for you, especially if you've been on that moderation cycle, because that becomes exhausting. So support gives you tools and different types of perspective and encouragement on the days you feel like giving in, so you don't have to stay stuck in the stress-drink-burnout cycle. With help, you can build a healthier way forward.

Courtney Andersen: 18:43

And all of us have stress, right, and this is what. Because you're going to be thinking like, okay, well, what about this stress and what about that stress? I'm just talking about alcohol and stress specifically in your body and what alcohol actually does to you. So it does the complete opposite of stress or relaxing you. Right Again, the sleep, the wake-ups at 3 am there's a reason you're waking up at 3 am when you drink every day. So with that anxiety and as women as we get older, and perimenopause and menopause, it's just not. It doesn't work anymore. It doesn't work.

Courtney Andersen: 19:26

And if you are coming to that realization, like I am a person who is just not supposed to drink alcohol, that is okay and that is actually a great place to be with that thought, because that means that you are realizing that it's going to be time for you to let it go. And you're just like you're you're there. If you've had that thought, you are so close to breaking through. On the other side of being like I'm done, it's just about giving it up and being like okay, I surrender, give me the white flag, I just sober life, yes, is not all rainbows and butterflies, but it's so much easier than that cycle you are currently in with alcohol, right? So the bottom line again alcohol doesn't take stress away, it delays it and then it times 1,000 with it. Okay, but you have the power to change the story. By listening to stress instead of numbing it, by creating small rituals, by redefining what relaxation means to you and by getting support, you can break free from this type of burnout cycle, all right. So, again, if you're using alcohol to cope with stress, but it only is making things harder, again, let's work together, one-on-one. You can apply for my sober coaching below or, as always, join my sobriety circle and I love to support you in that journey in your life.

Courtney Andersen: 20:58

And then next week's episode. It's all about what happens after you quit drinking and what the body changes and what you were experiencing in those first 30 days without alcohol. So I'm very excited. I told you guys, season seven, I have come to play. So thank you, as always, for listening to the Sober Vibes podcast. Make sure, wherever you're listening or you are watching, you subscribe and rate and review the show. I do have a new thing now you can leave me a review on iTunes and if you send me that screenshot, I'll put this information in the show notes below. If you send me that screenshot, I will send you my next level workshop slash masterclass to you for free. So I'll put the information you read that below. And again, I appreciate all the support and, as always, keep on truckin.