Parties, Weddings, and Work Events: How to Handle Peer Pressure To Drink When You’re Quitting Alcohol

If parties, weddings, and work events feel stressful now that you’re not drinking, you’re not alone. Social pressure is one of the biggest obstacles people face when trying to quit drinking, and today’s episode gives you real support, real scripts, and real confidence to walk into any event alcohol-free.

In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, I delve into how to navigate the awkward moments, uncomfortable questions, and internal pressure that arise in social settings when everyone around you is drinking. Whether you're early in sobriety or navigating coping without alcohol, this episode gives you the tools you need to stay grounded and empowered.

What You’ll learn:

•  How to handle comments like “You’re not drinking?” with confidence
•  The psychology of peer pressure (and why their reaction isn’t about you
• What to say when someone pushes a drink on you
•  How to create an exit plan that protects your peace
• Why having support to quit drinking makes social situations easier
• Strategies from an alcohol recovery coach to help you stay strong
•  How to redefine fun without letting alcohol steal the moment

If social events have been your biggest trigger or the place where you feel the most vulnerable, this episode will help you finally feel prepared and confident walking into any environment.

🎧 Listen now: Parties, Weddings, and Work Events: How to Handle Peer Pressure to Drink When You’re Quitting Alcohol

Resources Mentioned:

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Courtney's Website 

Join the Sobriety Circle 

1:1 Sober Coaching 

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

PODCAST SPONSOR:

This episode is sponsored by Soberlink, a trusted accountability tool for anyone navigating early recovery. Whether you're rebuilding trust with loved ones or want more structure in your sobriety, Soberlink offers a discreet and empowering way to stay on track.

Sober Vibes listeners, sign up HERE and claim our $100 Enrollment Bonus.

This episode is sponsored by ExactNature, a trusted holistic tool for anyone navigating recovery and sobriety. Use code SV25 at checkout to receive a discount on your order. Click here to shop and save. 

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Pressure To Drink At Events
• 2:02 Show Intro And Holiday Timing
• 3:15 Flipping The Script On Alcohol Norms
• 7:29 Prepare What You’ll Say
• 12:59 Sponsors: Exact Nature And Soberlink
• 14:44 Control The Drink In Your Hand
• 18:03 Handling Inner Pressure And Belonging
• 19:58 Boundaries, Exit Plans, And The 60-Minute Rule
• 23:01 Redefining Fun And Early Sobriety Reality
• 25:23 Community Support And Next Week’s Topic

Transcript

Courtney Andersen: 0:58

Have you ever walked into a party, wedding, or work event and instantly felt that wave of pressure? Everybody's drinking. The champagne, the wine, the booze is flowing, and you're standing there wondering, what do I say? What do I do? You're not alone. Social events can feel like minefields in early sobriety, but the truth is you can absolutely handle them with confidence and even enjoy yourself without a drop of alcohol. So on today's show, I'm gonna show you how. Okay. Welcome to Sober Vibes, your podcast for alcohol-free lifestyle tips and real talk about long-term sobriety. I'm your host, Courtney Anderson, sober coach, author, and mom. Each week I share strategies, stories, and encouragement to help you navigate cravings, build confidence, and thrive in sobriety. Whether you're sober curious or years in, this is your space to feel supported and inspired. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Soberibes Podcast. I am your host, Courtney Anderson, sober coach author, and your go-to guide to having a kick-ass life without alcohol. All right, social situations, right? And I particularly wanted this to drop the week before Thanksgiving in the holiday season. So you can take this along with you to navigate the holidays. If you go back to episodes of the Silver Vibes podcast, I have done many of these socializing during the holidays. There's a lot, so you just have to go back to the library of podcasts. At this stage of the game, we are on episode 252, but I swear they're there. So just scroll down on whatever podcast app you're listening to and hit it up about November of December and then enter the year. Okay. If you are watching this on YouTube, there aren't any videos going back to seasons one through six. So you'll have to listen to those on a podcast app. Okay. And as always, if you are watching on YouTube, make sure that you subscribe and say hello and introduce yourself because I love getting to know everybody on the different platforms. Okay. Again, whether it is a wedding, a work event, holiday party, dinner with friends, the pressure to drink can feel huge. And most likely you have a shit ton of anxiety going forward with this. Okay. Everybody does when they quit drinking. So don't think that you're like a weirdo because you're not. This is so, so, so common because majority of the time, alcohol helped with social anxiety. All right. And then remember, this is just something you did. So you're about to, when you work through these insert whatever events, when you go through them first couple of times, you are building a new association with whatever you are doing, right? So I'm going to talk today on how to handle these moments with confidence and calm, okay? Without falling back into old patterns. And of course, if you are needing help in your sobriety journey, and especially for social events like this, the sobriety circle is for you. This past week, we actually on a meeting actually talked about sober travel. And we get into strategies, accountability, and there's community in there. Okay. And it's a small group of women. I'm always going to keep that community small. So you have the opportunity, if you want to, to be seen and heard. Because when you're in a group over like 300 people, that is not the case. And I'm very much involved in the sobriety circle. So you can visit the link in the show notes below or go to my website, Courtneyrecover.com, and join the sobriety circle from there. All right. So let's get into it. You are not a weirdo, okay? Society is. And now when I say this, it's because alcohol is so embedded and ingrained into our society. It is sickening. And you will not understand that until you give up drinking alcohol and see it for what it is. All right. It has been here for decades upon decades and upon decades. So we have to start flipping the script on this. You're not the odd one out for not drinking. Society has just made alcohol the default. And you have gone into default mode for many, many years because that's what you thought you needed to do, right? Every event from weddings to networking, right, has normalized drinking as fun to a fault. Like where it's especially those networking events. I just the number amount of times that I've been hammered when I was working, like no boss should ever see an employee like that. And no boss should get really fucked up with their employees at this stage of the game in 2025. Like, because just a bunch of inappropriateness happens. And also, too, you lose your street cred, especially for women. If you get messed up at a holiday party, guess what they're going to remember you for? How effed up you got at the Christmas party circa 2020. I'm sorry, bad year. We didn't have any holiday parties in 2020, let's say 2018, okay? And you will be remembered for that your whole career. All of the stuff that you work so hard for to try to prove yourself has just gone out the window because you made a mess of yourself because quote unquote, you couldn't handle your alcohol, right? Like there's Sally from accounting who can't handle her alcohol. And now it's no longer there's Sally from accounting who is an amazing employee and this, this, and this. It's true. People remember this shit. People will remember it, and it's a strike against you. So when you decide not to drink at this or in life, you're not being awkward, you're being extremely brave, and you're doing something that should be normal. You're stepping outside of the norm, really, and you're choosing clarity, peace, and authenticity and aligning with who you are becoming because you do become a new person in sober life. Okay. There's still the same you, but you become this better version, this a more aligned person with your authentic self. So, number two, you're gonna prepare for what you say. I'm very, very big on this in my coaching world of you need to be prepared of what to say before you go because then you won't trip up over your words or feel like you're caught off guard. And it's like, oh God, I don't know what to say here, right? So this is an easy way to reduce anxiety at events is to plan again what you'll say ahead of time. You do not need a speech, you just need a couple calm responses in your back pocket. All right. So here's a couple. I'm good. Thanks, sticking with this tonight. Not drinking the days, but I'm all about the snacks. If you want to throw in a little humor, okay, I feel way better without it. You need to keep this short and confident and keep it light. That's what I'm saying. If you go back to the humor, humor always wins. And if you go back to the humor of it, of like, no, I'm good with just snacks, like it's funny. It's funny. You do not owe, I'm sadly from accounting, if she is asking you what you're drinking and what's in your glass, you do not owe her your story. And I will say this over and over and over again. Not everybody deserves your story because they do not know how to handle it. You could sound like you're trauma dumping to Sally from accounting when it was like not a big deal to her, right? So you can say too, like, oh no, thank you. I have a big day tomorrow, not drinking tonight. You don't have to then say, Well, I'm quitting drinking alcohol. I've had this really complicated relationship with it. I've struggled for years and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I know that so many people want to be honest in the beginning and you should, to a point. Again, you sometimes giving your story away is almost giving your power away. True story. Because it's going to be met with somebody who doesn't understand boundaries and does not understand a world without alcohol, because perhaps they have a problem. Then when you present that to somebody who has a drinking problem, you are then met with ridiculous statements. Like, I don't know, what do you do for fun? Huh? Like, oh, like, oh, what do you mean you're never gonna drink again? And for you in that moment, it's going to be really hard because you are probably thinking, is this forever? When you are two weeks sober. Okay. So we like to do a lot of things around here with not overwhelming yourself. So please, dear God, at this stage of the game, share with somebody that you trust, even if it's just your mom for the time being. But these other people, you don't have to give them all the details, okay? You just don't. At weddings, at Christmas events, at birthday parties, you just don't, they don't need it. It's just as simple as that. Like, I'm not drinking, even too. When we were talking about sober travel the other day, and also two, one member is going on a cruise, and she had to tell her friends. And at that point, and these work with friends, it's like just say to them, I'm not drinking right now. And that is all you have to say. Don't have to go into the future because future tripping gets very overwhelming. And I talk about that too in my book. You have to stay in the present and just today, stop thinking about three years in advance when you don't have these plans lined up yet. Okay. Because again, the person you are at day seven is not the same person you're gonna be at day 450. This is facts upon facts. What happens to that person is you become more confident within yourself day after day when you choose not to live life without alcohol. And when you make that one boundary with yourself, you begin to form self-trust. And self-trust is what's going to turn you around. So thinking about anything in the future, it's just wasted energy at this point. Okay. I I'm not you're gonna do it, but I just when that happens, just come back to yourself and be like, all I do, all I can do is just focus on the day. Okay. Also, too, the less you explain stuff, and this also goes back to your yourself and your active relationship with alcohol, because you're so used to over-explaining to overcompensate your drinking and your actions. And I will tell you this the less you explain, the less awkward it gets. Less is more. We are we are doing that. That is our motto now, going from here on out. From here on out, however long I end up doing sober vibes for, less is more. Less is more is in your sobriety. Okay, so stop over explaining. It makes it totally more awkward, and then yourself you get awkward. So practice before you go. The holidays can be wonderful, but they can also bring added stress, cravings, and emotional challenges, especially when you're getting or staying sober. That's where our sponsor, Exact Nature, comes in. Exact Nature creates safe, healthy, non-intoxicating CBD-based products designed to help reduce cravings, calm anxiety, improve mood, and stabilize sleep. All without getting you high or causing harm. CBD can help you out and it can help take the edge off, which is so important when you're navigating sobriety, especially during the holidays. Their products are value-priced with a full month supply. And since CBD works best with consistent use, Exact Nature offers subscriptions to keep you supported over time. Founded by a father and son team in addiction recovery, they truly understand your journey. Visit exactnature.com and use checkout code SV25, that's for sober vibes, and for 25% off your order. Again, use this code at checkout, SV25, and that's exactnature.com. You guys know I'm a huge fan. I use this on a regular basis, and I love this company. Nothing tests sobriety quite like holiday gatherings. Am I right? Between family stress, endless parties, and more alcohol ads than you can count, it can feel like a sea of triggers. And if you're in your first year of sobriety, you need something that helps shoulder the load, not add to it. Thankfully, there's Soberlink, the only high-tech breathalyzer trusted by addiction professionals, because it works. With scheduled daily tests, you can share instant, verified results with the people who support you, so you never have to convince someone of your progress. They get to see it and celebrate it with you in real time. And because Soberlink uses built-in facial recognition and tamper sensors, there's no way to cheat these results. Soberlink now offers device rentals, making daily accountability more accessible than ever. Whether you're rebuilding trust with loved ones or just want an extra layer of support this holiday season, Soberlink can help you stay laser focused on your recovery goals through the celebrations and long after the tree comes down. Visit www.soberlink.com forward slash sober dash vibes to sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus. You can also check the link in the show notes below. This is a great one too. You can control what your what's in your hand. This is a secret trick trick for you. Have something in your hand from the start, right? Whether it be a soda water with lime, a mocktail, an NA beer, a coffee, a Coca-Cola Classic. It removes the constant like, want to drink, what a drink. Especially if you're at a wedding or even to a corporate event, you can even ask the bartender again to make something fun and alcohol free for you. Just make sure, as always, you grease that bartender. Okay. I can't tell you how many times people had asked me to do that in my bartending days. And like some, because they knew either when I went back to bartending sober, they knew I didn't drink, and then they would come up to me and be like, kind of tell me their story, which of course I didn't mind because I got it. But they were out there participating and they're just like, especially too when women get pregnant women. And I could always tell too when a woman was was in that first trimester how they would ask. Because there's there's there's a pattern. And I just have to say that from the years of working with gin pop, you really get to know human behavior and pattern down to a key, especially when you observe. So so the bartenders will hook you up. Also, too, before you go, uh, I just told a one-on-one client of this. Pick your pick a mocktail that you like, that maybe perhaps you you make at home. Pick one that doesn't have any spirits in it, and then pick one that does have the NA spirits, okay? Because not every place is going to be hit to the streets with having NA spirits. But at least if there's no mocktail menu, you can be like, oh, can you make this for me? And they will if they have the ingredients, and if they don't, you go back to the old faithful of whatever mocktail that you like, okay? So you get options too, even being a person now who doesn't drink, right? Number four, you have to handle the inner pressure. Peer pressure isn't just always from others, and sometimes it's from us, right? It's the little voice that says, maybe just one won't hurt. That sometimes isn't so much, it's more of a social situation, right? It's sometimes so much, not such a craving for alcohol, but more of a craving, it's a craving of acceptance. And it's your old habit of trying to blend in, right? Because you have to remember these are all associations. This is what you did, and then it insert the number of years, right? So, and there's a facade with alcohol, and this is one that's really hard with the why this is hard, because you feel like you're not being included because you're not drinking, but you're still there participating in life and having the conversations, right? So, and the facade with alcohol, because we have been really, really brainwashed to believe this, is that again, it's not fun, right? And to be honest, it's not fun. It's not. And I can say this with 13 years of sobriety and looking back and all of it, it's it's not a good time to be messed up like that. And then the shame and regret cycle you go into for a couple days. Because again, people with drinking issues, they don't shame and blame themselves for days on end. They're not listening to the Sober Vives podcast. I can guarantee you that. So again, you you don't need the drink to belong. You need the self-trust. And like I said, that self-trust is built every single time you say no and you choose what's right for you. And what is right for you is not drinking alcohol today, right? Set boundaries and have an exit planned. You don't have to stay there all night. If the energy and the mood start shifting where people are going on to planet Pluto, and you're like, good God, get me out of here. It's okay to leave early. You can give yourself permission to protect your peace, okay? Plan your ride home, drive yourself, right? Text a sober friend. If you're in the sobriety circle, you can put it out into our sober support circle and say, hey, I'm going for an hour and I'm gonna text you when I get home just to keep accountable, right? Driving yourself is always the way to go, meeting your friends there. Also, too, when it comes to the holidays, you can tell the persons if you're going to somebody's house, like, hey, I'm just gonna stay from I'll be there be I will be there from seven o'clock to 8:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, whatever time zone. You don't have to say that. I say that to my sister now all the time. And she's like, why are you always saying Eastern Standard Time? I'm like, I don't know, it's funny. Plus two, I work with a bunch of different time zones. So just say, hey, I will be, I'm coming over, I'm gonna stay for an hour. If it's for the holidays, then I'm and if they're like, well, why aren't you stay longer? Like, because I got stuff to do. I'm making my traditions, right? Like, I want to go home. You guys can you can also fib a little bit. It's okay to say a little white lie of like, hey, I have a headache. Okay. For some people who don't understand, again, they will cross your boundaries, right? So you can add in the extra accountability for yourself, right? And now you have to redefine fun on what fun is on your terms. So fun without alcohol isn't boring. It's the life you need to live, right? You can connect more honestly with people. You can actually remember the nights. Again, you'll realize that you never needed alcohol to have fun. Alcohol became an escape, it became a coping mechanism. You just need the confidence and clarity within yourself. And it's going to take a little bit of time. I'm not going to tell you that once you stop drinking alcohol, it's like, la-di-da, my life became all better. The F it didn't, okay? It becomes better though. But that first 30 days is not really a fun place to be. And if anyone's telling you it's a fun place to be, they're lying. It just because there's so much you now have to get, you have to adapt to. And that's why those first 30 days and you're detoxing, like it's hard. And you're at a heightened state with everything. So just know it will get better. But you definitely have to build that self-trust and you proving to yourself too that you can do it. So you got this. So again, next time you're at a party or wedding or work event, holiday party, remember this. The pressure is only temporary, but your peace will be permanent. You don't need alcohol to enjoy your life. Okay. You just need to show up as your real grounded self and participate. That's why that 60-minute rule I created, that is why that is great. You can go participate for 60 minutes. It's enough to fill your fun tank and your social tank for the time being. Will it always be like this? No. But for anybody in those first couple months, maybe first year, because every first two years, everybody's different. And every social event is different, right? Like, especially too with your work one. You might be like, I don't even want to go hang out with these nerds. No offense to nerds. I'm just saying that in a way of just like, oh, especially too if you hate your job or you're like, these people are pricks. Like, I don't, I don't want to go rub elbows and eat ham with these with them. So a wedding could be really fun for you, right? But then like work parties, you're like, oh, because everybody's awkward at work parties. And so the booth gets blowing, and then all of a sudden, you're talking with your nemesis, again, Sally from accounting, and you guys are best friends for that night. And then the next day you're like, good God, because you had alcohol on your system. Like, I cannot. And then you guys see each other by the the water cooler again, and you guys don't talk. I can make up scenarios all day long. So if these social events feel impossible without drinking, again, come join the sobriety circle. You'll get community support and step-by-step strategies to make socializing alcohol-free and actually enjoyable. And also, too, we are huge in daily accountability in the sobriety circle. I have women in there who are a year and a half sober. I just had a woman who just celebrated seven days sober. I have women who are five months sober. It's a very big range of where everybody is at. But the one thing I truly, truly, truly love about the sobriety circle is the support of these women that they're giving to one another. It's a beautiful thing to watch. So the link is in the show notes below, or you can go to courtingrecovered.com and find the sobriety circle on my website. Okay. I'd love to see you inside and help you on your sober journey. And again, don't miss out. Next week's episode, I'm talking about alcohol and relationships. I'm very excited to talk about this one too, how to manage friendships, dating, and even marriage and a life without alcohol. Okay. So as always, good people of the world, happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate. And thank you for listening. As always, please rate, review, and subscribe to the show slash follow wherever you listen to these on my YouTube channel. Make sure, even if you don't watch the podcast on YouTube, make sure that you do subscribe to that because I want to start doing videos on there. But I'm waiting for a certain amount of subscribers so I can get this party going. So I would like 300 subscribers to start doing these videos. And I need your help. Remember too, if you leave a review on iTunes on Apple Podcasts, to screenshot it to me and email it to me at Sober Vibes, then I will send you my free workshop where you don't have to pay for that workshop. Okay. And you can check all the links in the show notes for resources, one-on-one coaching, and of course the sobriety circle and my book. As always, good people of the world, keep on trucking and stay safe out there.