How to Maintain Sobriety During the Summer: Relapse Prevention, Sober Living, and Staying Consistent

How to Maintain Sobriety During the Summer

Summer can be one of the best seasons of the year but it can also be a time when routines disappear, schedules change, and sobriety starts to feel a little shaky.

In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, I share how to maintain your sobriety during the summer months without white-knuckling your way through it.

If you've been feeling disconnected from the habits and support systems that help you stay sober, this episode will help you get back to the basics that matter most.

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• why relapse often starts long before the first drink
 • the "slow drift" that can quietly pull you away from sobriety
 • how stress drinking can creep back in during busy seasons
 • why protecting your peace is part of relapse prevention
 • how to identify your personal sobriety anchors
 • simple ways to stay connected to your sober living routine
 • how to maintain consistency even during vacations and summer events

Most people don't lose their sobriety because they suddenly want alcohol.

They slowly drift away from the routines, boundaries, and support systems that were helping them stay steady.

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Transcript

Welcome And Who This Helps

Courtney Andersen 0:10

Hey, welcome back to the Sober Vives podcast. I am your host and sober coach, Courtney Anderson. You are listening to episode 278. I think the episode before this one, we talked about how to quit drinking and stay sober during the summer. All right. This, though, what we're talking about today, we're talking about something a little bit different. All right. And it's how to maintain your sobriety once summer really starts getting rolling. And so maybe this particular episode is more for the people, which I think it should be more for the people who already have months into their sobriety. Even a couple years, party people, let's not forget that those first five years are early sobriety. And you still have to check your ego at the door. You still have to check that voice, that little drinking voice, because we're set on that default mode of that thinking of like, oh, I got this, right? Like I'm in a year in, I got this. I don't need help, or I don't need to be doing the things that I was doing to still stay sober. So just this episode is specifically for you today.

When Summer Routines Start Slipping

Courtney Andersen 1:27

And I see this happen all the time. So especially with summer, because there's heavily association of summer and drinking, right? And for a lot of people, someone starts summer off very strong, right? You got the momentum after these past couple months, maybe the years, past couple of years. You're feeling good. Again, you're feeling committed. And then things start slipping because again, the morning routines disappear, right? Maybe you are making priority to show up for in-person meetings or in your online community, right? Maybe you're not able to get in your evening walks that were helping you really stay in that witching hour, or I should say, stay out of that witching hour, but it it helped you get through with that, right? I will tell you this the podcast, the silver podcast. Now I'm not saying that you need to listen to sobriety podcasts for the rest of your days. I am very much of a coach where I want to get you to a place where you do feel like you can branch out on your own and stable within yourself, still using some of these tools from time to time. Okay. But what happens is sobriety podcasts do help people and they stop playing in the summertime because you are taken away from that structure. Do you want to know how I know this? Because my downloads always go down in the summertime and other sober podcast hosts that I have talked to, because you're maybe not in that commute of taking kids to school, right? Like whatever that looked like for you, or now that the kids are home, or again, that that coming up, that that voice coming up, being like, Well, I don't need to listen to this. And you're not using it to tap in. But I do know for some podcasters, the summer is those downloads do go down. Okay. So again, going back to the meetings, they become less important because other things take over in your life, right? The check-ins, maybe in the sprity circle, I have daily check-ins, or if you're not checking your sober app, those happen less often. So before long, what happens then is you start feeling disconnected from the very things that were helping you stay sober. And not because you subtly wanted alcohol, but also because you drifted away from the things that were helping you. And there's no shame in that. I think that is an evolution, but especially when you're so in new to it and in, and even like I said, from that time period, those first couple of years, those first five years, it's early in sobriety. So, like when you step away from things that keep you grounded, it then doesn't make it a priority for you. You have to respect your sobriety and you have to keep it going at the forefront for quite some time. You drank for 20 years. I'm not saying it's gonna take you 20 years to get out of that default setting, but it's going to take you some time because for so long you were programmed to drink. And I do believe that this is why people, there's a couple of reasons, but this is one of them because you stopped doing the things that were making you feel good and can't keep you consistent. Okay.

Coaching Options And Emotional Sobriety

Courtney Andersen 4:52

So that's what we're talking about today. Before we get into it, just know that if you are looking for help in your sobriety journey and looking for coaching, all of my links are in the show notes below. I have a few different ways you can work for me. I have my solo program, stop starting over, my sobriety circle, that's a group program, community. If you're looking for that, even too, if you are in it and you have some time sober, but you are looking for a place to land in the summertime to keep you consistent, you're more than welcome to join. That too, you can cancel anytime. And then, of course, my one-on-one sober coaching. I'm gonna add because who I'm talking to today is more of the people, like I said, who are in already have some time to sobriety. I'm going to add in my after program. And the after program really is going to help you with emotional sobriety. So anyone who has six months to a year minimum, that program is for you. Okay. Because it's always good to do a little bit of some maintenance and work on that. Because there's there's three different processes of quitting drinking alcohol, right? There is the the I'm gonna quit drinking, right? You're in that, that takes you some time. And then there is also then goes to then quitting drinking, staying sober, and then there's the motional sobriety on it, which for some people comes early at six months. But for others, it could come anywhere between two to three years. That three year or two is a special spot because then you start realizing that there's stuff that you have to work on other than just the not drinking. Like you got that down, right? Then there's this other layer, but you don't know it until you're in it. So if you are newly sober and you're listening to this, because this is going to be helpful, great, but don't hyperfixate on emotional sobriety. Just keep working to you not drinking alcohol today, okay? Because that really, really, really is important. So let's get into

Relapse Starts With Disconnection

Courtney Andersen 6:58

today's show. So what usually happens is kind of like a slow, like a slow drift before a relapse, okay? So most relapses don't start with the drink, they usually start with disconnection. And I'm gonna tell you why too. They start with a disconnection because that is also going back to default. It is very easy in sobriety to go back to the isolation where you slowly start resorting back to old behaviors. Again, something that the old behaviors creeps up in emotional sobriety. Okay. So the isolating, right? The skipping your routines, skipping the check-ins, skipping whatever you were skipping that was helping you stay sober. A huge other one is neglecting self-care. I can tell you after two days, it was even almost 14 years in here. After a couple days of neglecting my routines, do I think about drinking? No. When it happens, I start ending up feeling like shit. Where I'm like, oh, like this is why I get it that people just do this every day inconsistent. I'm not saying become an optimizer because I think that that's very extreme, but just like the little things you need to do every day to take care of yourself to feel good, just to feel good for your mental. Because at this stage of the game, the mental is the most important thing that we have to keep sharp, right? So again, neglecting self-care. Then comes the romanticizing about alcohol. And from this time to the end of the year, the romanticizing about alcohol is huge because of the season we are in. And then you get into the winter time, right? Again, not reaching out for support. So these are the things that start happening before you end up drinking. So the drinking comes later, but first comes like that drip, right? And this is why relapse prevention isn't just about alcohol, it's about doing those things that are going to help you stay connected and feel good. So I want to ask you today, what has quietly slipped away from you lately in your routine? Just what has slipped away from you lately in your routine? Okay. And answer that because you might be like, holy shit, is this misering my mind today? Because I haven't been doing, I haven't been doing my readings every day of whatever book that you're reading, or I haven't done my prayer into the universe or your God, whoever it is, right? But that might start to be slipping. And if you catch yourself where that one thing that has made you feel really good is not at a number one priority, please, dear God, incorporate it back into your life. Incorporate it today. Even if it's at the end of the day and it's just you reading one page of whatever book, or you starting your gratitude, right? Or you going just for a 10-minute walk, right? So you really want to protect your peace before you need to protect your your sobriety too. Okay.

Protect Your Peace And Nervous System

Courtney Andersen 10:01

So summer can be very overstimulating, right? Traveling, kids, family gatherings, kids out of school, social events, those busy schedules. And I know this. The dictator had his last day of preschool. Do you want to know what I did yesterday? Not a goddamn thing. I sat and I binge watched, well, it took me a couple days to watch it, but I finished off The Rivals on Hulu, which by the way, great show. Like I don't know why the show isn't talked about. 80s, 80s era, the music to the Brits. I love you guys. But they're a bunch of the you guys are a bunch of smug pricks, but I love it. I love it. The use of the C-word in there, it's pretty incredible. But check it out on Hulu. And then I don't know why it started, it would stop after six episodes, and we have to wait till November to catch the other the rest of season two. I don't like this. So can somebody please tell me why that happened? Like, I just wish that they chose just like just give it to us all at once at this point. Anyways, I digress. But I didn't do anything specifically yesterday because I knew that this summer is going to be a busy one. And I learned from my summer last summer of his first summer being between the school year, of like what to expect. So I didn't do anything, which was glorious. And I didn't beat myself up for that. I didn't shame myself. It's like this is what I need because it is going to be busy. And I am the type of person with my personality. This is what I want you to find out about yourself. Like what you need to to calm your nervous system and digest, right? Like just to sit there with what is going to help you feel your best, right? But going back to what we're talking about, many women actually don't relapse because they're craving alcohol. You're relapsing because you're, again, going back into exhaustion and not prioritizing yourself. And then that exhaustion and not prioritizing your help yourself, what's going to happen is that the stress of it, your nervous system is going to get taxed out. I have said nervous system a lot on season eight because this really, after all that I have done, not only with myself, my sobriety, and coaching women, this is fucking key. This is key, right? So you really do have to manage that stress with what comes up, right? You need to discuss your boundaries and discuss them with yourself, whether that's on a piece of paper and your notes app of like, okay, what am I gonna do for myself? Because the number one thing is I need to prioritize my sobriety. That is numero uno, say no, like the boundaries. What has been slipping? Has boundaries have been slipping? Have I overbooked myself? Am I starting to overextend myself where I wasn't doing that those first couple months because I just sat with that, right? Whether I had to sit with my sobriety and you started to let that slip. So start saying no, right? If you need to leave early at a party, leave early at a party. You do you continue to just because you're at a year sober doesn't mean that you have to stay at these parties till the fucking end now.

Boundaries And Leaving Events Early

Courtney Andersen 13:18

To what? To prove to a point to what that you are still fun, sober. We're not there anymore. Like, so if you need to leave because your fun tank is full, you feel like you are maxed out and you're good, then leave, right? You need to protect your downtime. Create yourself a space again where you can decompress. Like that is huge, especially nowadays, right? So the more regulated you are, the easier sobriety does become. I'm not saying it's gonna be unicorns and butterflies, but it does become easier when, and this is sometimes so cheesy to say, when you come back home to yourself, your vessel is of like mind, body, and soul. Is it gonna be like that all the time? No, absolutely not. But like I'm telling you, when your nervous system is connected, it is helpful. Okay. So this is why you have to take in consideration all what I'm saying to you today and apply it. So also too, you need to identify your summer sobriety anchors. It's different. The winter time is different. Roll in to then now, like, okay, you got through the winter time, you had your anchors then, life looked a little bit differently because we all were hibernating. Now we're gonna be out and about. And what is going to, because it's the natural order of life with these seasons, okay? So you need to anchor these habits that are going to keep you grounded. Maybe you need to readdress

Choose Your Three Summer Anchors

Courtney Andersen 14:53

new habits for yourself in this season, right? Because even who you were at day one, if you're at day 600, you're not the same person. And you might have evolved where you're starting to notice, like, oh my God, I am, I am on that middle of that introvert-extrovert spectrum. And like, I do realize that I need to respect also too my anxiety and work with it, or I need to respect my cycle, or I need to respect that the fact that on a Friday evening after working 40 to 60 hours a week, I just need to go home and I need to order a pizza and eat and go to sleep. Okay. I don't know again, I said this in another episode. Fridays should not be the nights of going out. After a hard week, it's like go home and go to bed. Do your social activities on Saturday and work with your schedule of like what is on your plate. Don't overcomplicate it, but meet it with where you're at now. And a lot of people don't do that with their sobriety because it goes back into identity work, is because you're you're still stuck on who you were, who you were in your drinking days. I I trust me, I spent a couple of years doing that. What does your summer, what does your summer routine look like? What are these anchors gonna be for you? Is it like instead of that evening walk, you're gonna just go do your morning walk while listening to a sober podcast? You're gonna get back into journaling, you're gonna double down on some meetings, right? Reading what your nightly reflection. So you need to pick what are your three things that help you feel more connected to your sobriety, right? Protect those things, incorporate them every day, even on vacation, even on the weekends, even when life gets busy. Okay. Consistency wins every time. I take mine on on vacation. I take I still take those things that help me feel my best on vacation. Even if I have to get up earlier than the dictator and my husband to just sit in some quiet before the day starts and read a couple pages of my book and do my gratitude journal and my meditation, like, or I'll do that at nighttime, but I make sure that I get it done because that has always been my anchor. So you need to take that with you wherever you go, because no matter where you go, there you are. So just know that you can do this, but reevaluate where you are mentally now and what's on your plate.

Meeting Yourself Through Grief And Anger

Courtney Andersen 17:34

Okay. Perfect example of when I say this. So far, I've had a couple hard years in in my sobriety journey, but this one has been very hard. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. Okay. This one has been very, very hard with the death of my the death of my the passing of my father, and having now to heal from that a lot of narcissistic abuse. Okay. And then watching a parent pass away and all that jazz. Anyways, so I have had to re-meet myself. I've had to meet myself of where I have been at for the almost six months of this. And it really was a year before, because in 2015, or I'm sorry, 2015, 2025 is when he got diagnosed. Okay. Like when you watch somebody go through that, it does take a lot out of you, especially too if it's a parent, it's a loved one, right? So there has just been healing on my end of where I have been meeting myself and what I need now. For once I used to be a crier, this of what has happened and has played out, I have an experience and perimenopause rage, right? Like I have experienced a lot of anger. So what am I doing for my anger? You guys, I have been screaming into a pillow. Okay. I wouldn't have needed that though five years ago. I I was doing stuff differently five years ago. Like, so that's where you really have to meet yourself of your age, where you were at, if you have kids or you don't have kids, because that's two completely different things. It truly is, and it just looks different, right? Like, are you going through divorce? Like now you're not married. Wherever you are, you have to meet yourself at with today and work on that identity and those needs with who you are today, not who you were 10 years ago. You're never gonna go back to that bitch. We are never going back, okay? We are just meeting ourselves with who we are at today. So figure out what your summer sobriety anchors are, choose three of them and then double down on them so you can make it through the summer, another day summer. You don't need to do any dry Julys, right? Like it's like, okay, I'm good. I'm going to carry on with this. And like whatever the case may be, I am not going to drink alcohol today. And how are you? What are you going to do to get yourself through that? Right?

Commit For Today And Closing

Courtney Andersen 20:02

All right, good people of the world. I hope this episode helped you. As always, thank you for tuning in. If it helps you, please reach out to me via DM on the Graham and let me know. Also, too, if you haven't, please rate, review, and subscribe to the show on Apple. Screenshot it, email it to me. The information is down in the show notes, and I will give you access to my workshop for free. All righty, as always, keep on tracking and have a kick-ass summer of twenty twenty six.