How to Stay Sober on the Weekends Break the Weekend Drinking Cycle and Beat Alcohol Cravings

REPLAY EPISODE

Weekends can be one of the biggest challenges when you're quitting drinking. If Friday afternoon automatically signals it's time to drink, you're not alone. 

In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, I share how to break free from the weekend drinking cycle, navigate alcohol cravings, and build alcohol-free weekends that leave you feeling energized instead of anxious on Monday morning.  

In This Episode, You'll Learn 

•  why weekends trigger drinking through habit, culture, and the reward mindset 
•  what to expect during your first five sober weekends, including discomfort and FOMO 
•  how to build weekend structure with a simple morning routine 
•  ways to choose activities that support sober living and help you stay sober
•  the benefits of alcohol-free weekends, including more confidence, more time, and peaceful Monday mornings 

The first few sober weekends might feel different, but they won't feel difficult forever. Every alcohol-free weekend builds confidence, strengthens your self-trust, and reminds you that you don't need alcohol to enjoy your life.

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Transcript

Welcome And The Weekend Warrior Cycle

Courtney Andersen 0:09

Hey, welcome to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host, Courtney Andersen. So I wanted to do an episode about the weekends, right? About breaking the weekend drinking cycle. Because for so many, you're weekend warriors or have been weekend warriors, and weekends are a trigger for people. So I don't think I've ever specifically done on an episode. I haven't. See, when you get to the point of two 200 plus episodes, you kind of forget what you've done. So I have mentioned, I know I have mentioned in episodes before, though, about the weekend cycle. And for me, towards the end of my drinking career, it was very, very, very much weekend warrior binge drinking. Okay, where it was like Fridays, I would go into work, bartend, and that's when I would start drinking. Yes, I drink on the job. Okay. A lot of people do who are in the industry. And then, of course, getting done and partying afterwards, right? Or then if I actually didn't drink on a Friday, then I would party on a Saturday. Or the Friday and Saturday, I would do both. Okay. And then by Sunday, it was like I was dead to the world, hung over. Then Monday would have again anxiety from drinking all weekend. And then that would take me a couple of days to recover. And then by Wednesday, it's like, okay, I decided to be productive, clean my house, maybe go grocery shopping, right? Like, and then I'm like, oh, I can't wait to drink again on the weekends after I promised myself that I wouldn't drink again because I spent Sunday or Saturday dry heaving on myself and laying on a couch and then binge eating Domino's pizza at like eight o'clock at night. And then wanting to throw that up. Does this sound familiar to anybody? So the point of this podcast, this episode in particular, is really to help you navigate those weekends. Now, if you were not the case of my extreme, you might just still be caught up in it of your own version of what those weekends look like to you or what they're looking like for you. And you can drink all or not drink all week long, and then come the weekend, it's like you got that itch. Because I have to tell you guys, this is so programmed into our fabric of the world and our beings and what we have habitually done for all of these years, and that is to drink and reward ourselves on the weekends. It's such a cycle, it truly is, right? Because you work, you're nine to five, or whatever your job is, and then it's like here we go, or you are a mom, and then you have all the play dates with the kids on the weekends, and you're out doing mommy wine culture, right? So

Why Weekends Trigger Drinking

Courtney Andersen 3:09

why do weekends feel harder? And like I said, it's like culturally and personal pressures around the drinking on the weekends, the socializing, the unwinding, the again, doing things because you don't have that responsibility during the week of with your job or with getting kids in their own routine with school. And it's just the weekends, it gets thrown out the window. Right. And two, here, if working during during the week, it's like a stress reliever, right? It's like, okay, it's my time to shine. I had a hard week. Let me relax in this way. Again, sound familiar? I hope you're nodding your head in your car listening to this. Like, yes, yes, right. And just with with socializing, personal events that you have to attend to, a lot of that, a lot of that is fueled with alcohol, right? I understand the struggle, as I said at the top of this episode. It this is normal. There's nothing wrong with you if you're like, why can't I get out of this? And again, coach a person who did state where she was like, it took me five weekends, five weekends to get out of like being sober and alcohol free, where she then started started feeling like she could do it after about five weekends of being sober. So I

The First Weekends Feel Uncomfortable

Courtney Andersen 4:37

just want you to take in that consideration because those first few weekends, y'all, are going to be very uncomfortable. You are not gonna know what to do with yourself. It's gonna feel uncomfortable, it's gonna feel awkward. You're gonna have some FOMO of being like, oh, I wonder what my friends are doing, or even to that reward system of what am I gonna do to relax and unwind? And there's a lot of things that you can do to relax and unwind. Okay. So it's all about replacing that routine. Okay. Because again, this is so fucking habitual. I can't even explain it more than dropping the F bomb in front of habitual on how this really is. So

New Weekend Rituals And Structure

Courtney Andersen 5:21

creating new weekend rituals for yourself, right? If you haven't had a morning routine yet, you need to start a morning routine. Not I'm not asking you to fill up your morning routine with five, five hours of things to do. A morning routine for you. This is my morning routine. Um, I read, I journal, I meditate, I try to drink my coffee in peace. Now, if I cannot get into that coffee of peace, if you are a person who has a kid, you understand this. At least if I'm doing my reading and journaling and get that in in the meditation in peace, I am fine. If I can get my coffee in, this is like a bonus of peace of just sitting there and decompressing. Because again, you have to start your day. And also, too, if you can sleep in, that's fabulous. I'm at a point where I can no longer sleep in. This is just a sidebar and I need somebody to tell me if it gets better. But like I can't sleep in anymore because I'm so now used to being up at anywhere between 5 and 6 30. Okay. And also, too, sleeping in, I have noticed the last time I did it, and this was months ago, then I actually just felt tired the rest of the day. Like I would rather take a nap midday. I know I'm totally going off topic, but I just wanted to share in case anybody else is this way. I'd rather take a 20 to 30 minute snooze, come nap time and like rejuvenate then than now sleep in because it just makes me feel more grotty. But if you are one who sleeps in, that is great. So sleep in, create your morning routine. Okay. So just create something that is going to help you still feel structure. Because a lot of people, what they will do is they'll have their Monday and Friday routines. And when you quit drinking alcohol, structure becomes your best friend. It truly does. Structure is good, it helps you stay on track. Like, I'm not saying be all type A. And but if you are type A, more power to you, like where you have to like write your day and follow this and whatever. I'm just saying keep your structure going in your morning routine. If you have one Monday through Friday, keep it going for Saturday and Sunday. And it will just help you feel like it doesn't feel so I'm doing air quotes like weekend-ish. You know what I'm saying? Like it just feels like part, this is just another day, right? So do that. Okay.

Plan Rest That Actually Recharges

Courtney Andersen 7:54

Plan activities that are going to energize you and fuel your soul. Okay. Whether that is hikes, also two morning routines. If you want to throw in, if if you do some type of workout and that's part of your routine, just do some stretching. And that that helps as we age. Just stretch your bones. That's a good one. Because that also too gets the blood flowing and makes you feel good. What I'm trying to help you with is feeling good, because that's what you want. You want to consistently feel good. So, next, plan activities, like I said, that are going to energize you. Uh, hikes, you want to go take an art class, go go explore a new hobby, go see a movie, do something that's going to meet a friend for coffee. Again, stop putting yourself in the social situations at nighttime if you don't feel like you are strong enough or don't have the energy in you to do that. Stop overscheduling your kids, where then all you do is feel like a taxi cab driver for three days, right? Like you need to take some time for yourself because that is the art of true relaxation. And the self-care is taking that time of more intentional resting time where you can sit your ass on a chair if this feels good for you, and you can sit your ass on a chair and binge watch something or watch a movie. And it's like that is true intentional rest, and you got to get used to that rest of calming your body and not being on the go, go, go. Because being on the go, go with the go is eventually going to burn you out and overwhelm you, where then you're going to want to drink, right? Because on the weekends, this I know for true for sure. And you cannot keep going like you've been going in your active drinking on the weekends, how in your sober life, in your alcohol-free life. Okay. I hope this makes sense of how I describe this. And I know this to be true because I've coached many women who will have still overbooked themselves in those first couple weeks of an alcohol-free living, free life. And then by the end of the weekend, they feel like they're ready for a drink. It's like you can't be doing the most on the weekends. This is the time you need to take for yourself and truly, truly, truly recover your bones of the poison you have put into your body because you're going through a detox. Even too, if you're a year, two, three, four years into this, and you still feel very overwhelmed by the weekends. Take this advice and and schedule some time for you. That could even be going to get a massage or going to get a pedicure, just something for decompressing and relaxing, relaxing. I'm also going to say this. Uh, what was it last week? Yeah, last week went to Disney. It was the best. And you know why? I think that it was. Well, I mean, there's a lot of reasons why it was the best. But I truly, truly, truly took that time to be like, okay, I disconnected from my one-on-one clients, disconnected from my sobriety circle, and social media really kind of just disconnected from it and was not on my phone. So, even to if sometimes you feel overwhelmed by your phone and all of the things and work, take some intentional times of decompressing from that because you will get recharged. And it's like then you're not feeling drained and depleted when you're taking that actual arrest. And that drainage and depletion will lead you to wanting to drink. Okay. So energize yourself in somehow of what speaks good to you, right?

Make Social Time Sober-Friendly

Courtney Andersen 11:46

And then also to going back to some events or outings with friends. Make it kind of sober friendly for yourself. Like I stated, ask a friend to go for a cup of coffee. Ask a friend to go get a pedicure. Ask a friend if you're not a person who likes to go see movies by themselves. I am. It's great. I encourage you to go do that. That is a great thing to do on your by yourself is to go see a flick. Ask your friend to go see a movie with you. Yeah, you don't have to talk much. Like honestly, you really don't. But you have like the companionship, the friendship of sitting there and going to see something, something with somebody. Go get a coffee before the movie. But these are all things that you can do, but ask, empower yourself to take life by the balls, pull your balls out of your purse, and ask a friend to go do something different with you where you're not sitting there and it's not the same old, same old where you guys are meeting for drinks and you're sitting there with all of your girlfriends and they're having drinks, and you are sitting there feeling like the odd man out. Because that does happen in early sobriety, okay? It does. It's that's normal. That's a normal feel feeling to have to feel like the odd man out because you are no longer participating in drinking and doing what you guys have been doing for so long. So go ask them to do something more sober friendly-ish until you feel comfortable within yourself to be able to put yourself in those types of situations. And there will be a time you'll be fine with going out to eat or going if it's a drink type of setting with a friend or an event or something. You will be fine. On the flip side, though, these might be events and things you don't want to participate in anymore. You're gonna go one of two ways, and that is okay. It's like the same thing. It's like people are either day counters or they're not, right? People either like to drink mocktails or they don't. You're either gonna still want to participate in hanging out at in a bar setting or events where they're alcohol, or you're not. And that is okay because everybody is built differently. And we are here to encourage whatever works for you, works for you. But ask your friend to go get a cup of coffee and plan something like that, or even to go get breakfast. Don't do brunch, go to get get breakfast. So I do want to encourage you though to identify what you truly enjoy and build a routine around those things. So, even a two, if you all of a sudden want to force gump your way through America and start running. Like, so if running is gonna start bringing you joy, build your weekend around that. Like, all right, cool. I'm I can't wait to look forward to running on Saturday from Detroit to Cincinnati. I don't know. I'm just making this shit up. Okay. I'm just saying, like, you get what I'm saying, of build the life that you want now in this alcohol-free living. Build the weekend you want specifically, because that is what we're talking about, the weekends. Or maybe too, it's like now you just start, you start going to volunteer and go volunteer your time on Saturday afternoons to help you work through that Saturday afternoon itch, right? You're giving back, you're talking to people, you're doing a service. Like it, that's awesome. And that's something that you are going to be able, that's going to make you feel good. So social situations with without alcohol, right?

Decline Drinks And Set Boundaries

Courtney Andersen 15:25

Like I was saying, man before, with common common social situations and scenarios are the brunch, the barbecues, dinner parties, and nightlifes. That's why I encourage you to try to do stuff, especially in these early days, the first year of trying to do stuff around that breakfast, coffee dates, a pedicure date, going for a walk with friends. So you're still getting your social fix in. And it doesn't feel like it's completely like ripped away from you, right? Even too, if you are putting yourself in those social situations on the weekends where it's what I just said of more of like the brunch and nightlife, you just have to figure out how you're gonna decline drinks. And it's very fine to say if you go out on a Saturday night and somebody's like, Oh, you want a drink? It's like, no, thank you. I have an early morning tomorrow. I'm gonna go run from Detroit to Cincinnati because I want to force gump my my way through this life now. You know what I mean? Like, just I have an early morning. That's all you need to say. I can't explain it enough. I can't, I will, I will shoot this from the rooftop, or I'm sorry, scream this from the rooftop. Like you not everyone deserves your story, and you do not have to give your story to people until you are good and ready, right? So practice before you go out on the weekends on how you're gonna decline a drink. And I know it sounds cheesy, but it's such a good way by practicing to condition your brain of what you know you're already gonna say. Because if you don't, and I know this is a thing for people because it used to be a thing for me. When you get into a situation like that and somebody asks you for a drink, it's very easy to trip up and trip over your words, and then it's like you feel like you've embarrassed yourself. You know what I mean? Especially too if you're a highly sensitive person. And then then you end up over-explaining yourself and you're like, what the fuck? Why did I just tell this person the story that lasted like two minutes? Like, all I could have said is, no, no, thank you. I have an early morning tomorrow, and then you're sitting there trauma dumping on a person who doesn't explain your story. I laugh because I once did this. Okay. So, like, it's normal, it happens, but practicing how to decline drinks before you go out, if you do the nightlight approach on the weekends, is going to be your best friend. Also, to the nighttime situation, you can always call restaurants. If you know you're going to a restaurant, like call them up, look up the menu online, see if they have any non-alcohol, non-alcohol options, mocktails, beers. And if they don't, then look up a recipe on Pinterest and then go tell the bartender to make you that, right? Like, and all I have to say this on the thing with the bartenders too, is if you are out and about, like, ask them if they know any mock tails and let them do their little flannagan. If you guys have ever watched the movie Cocktails, y'all understand the flannagan reference. Make them do their flannen flair and see if they can make up a good mocktail for you. Put their skills to use. And then two, set boundaries if you need to, okay, for the nighttime social situation. And this also too could just be for a barbecue. The 60-minute rule works perfectly. An hour there. I gotta go. You have to leave, you have to leave events, or two. If you're wake up uh on a Saturday and you're not just you're not feeling it, your internal clock is just like, I just am not in the mood today, then don't go. Don't put yourself in that situation, okay? Because sometimes putting yourself in that situation is just going to trigger you. And then you're going to drink, and then you're gonna wake up on Sunday and be like, what the flying fuck did I just do? I should have just stayed home. I should have listened to my gut. So if your gut is telling you to just stay home, then just stay home and that's okay. And you will catch the next weekend to be able to put yourself in these situations and feel good and confident. And when you put yourself in a situation as time goes on in your alcohol-free sober journey, you then start building the self-esteem. You then start building the trust in yourself, right? And you keep proving to yourself time and time and time again, like, well, I'm doing this, I'm putting myself in these situations, like I'm okay. And that's great because I want you to build up your self-esteem and to be confident of yourself, to be a competent, badass human being living an alcohol-free life, and that you can participate in the world. Because I know all the good people of the world who listen to this podcast want to participate in life. But in the beginning, you might just have to do a couple of these things first to sacrifice a little bit in that first year before then, before then that you feel this way and feel this very confident of yourself in year two and year three and year four. And I'm I'm gonna tell you this after year one start stuff, you don't constantly think about not drinking that first year. Like it it changes so that that noise silences it gets quieter. So, yeah. So if you have to skip an event and two, if you have an anxiety spike, you're close to your period and you're not feeling it. I'm just not feeling it. And that's okay. That this like this is okay to say no to things.

The Real Benefits Of Sober Weekends

Courtney Andersen 21:14

And then I just want you to think about the positives, okay? The benefits of a sober weekend. You got through Monday through Friday without drinking. You were then waking up on Sunday or Monday, and you're like, oh my God, I just made it seven, eight days with not drinking. Like I didn't, I didn't slip this weekend. I just made it a whole weekend without alcohol. This is the first time I haven't drank on a weekend in years, right? You're gonna wake up with a clear hat on Monday. You're not gonna have that, God forsaken, Sunday scaries. You might have the Sunday scaries because you might not like your job, but it's not going to be intensified because of the parting all weekend, right? So you're Wake up on Monday feeling great. You're gonna have the energy, but you're gonna have energy into your new week. You're gonna feel the energy from having that alcohol-free weekend with if you did a new activity or you connected with a friend with going to a coffee date, and you had some like quality one-on-one adult time. Okay. Like you put some makeup on your face, you went out the door, and you were able just really to decompress for two hours and not be mom or dad in that moment, right? Like, or you were able to go and have a genuine conversation with a friend over coffee, and like you were able to share to your friend that you no longer drink alcohol, and this is what you has been happening. And you come out of that conversation feeling very good, and that you were in a safe space, and that you were just able to tell the first person like that you're not drinking anymore, right? And even to whatever else you decide to do on these weekends with not drinking alcohol, you're you're gaining time, that time spent on the act of drinking and then the fallout of drinking. That time now is being replaced with new focus, personal growth, the hobbies you put in, like again, connecting in with your loved ones and self-care and actual rest of what we should be doing on these weekends. We should be doing some living and some resting on these weekends, right? I have to say this, still to this day, and I'm knowing I've said this a lot, but like still to this day on weekends, when I go out and participate in the world, I have an overwhelming amount of gratitude for it. Like this weekend, I don't know how this is gonna last, you guys, but this weekend we are going to see the Grunch musical. And we're taking the dictator. I don't know if three is too young for the arts like this, but we're just gonna go with it, right? But like I'm looking forward to that. I truly am because it's doing something new, it's being able to be present in a situation and actually fucking remembering an event that you paid for, right? So, like anytime we do something new or just simply waking up on a Saturday or Sunday morning without a hangover after having a good night's rest, it's like this is living because I'm no longer in those like handcuffs of that constant struggle and cycle that you were in, I was in for so many years, you were in for so many years, and it's a breath of fresh air. Okay, sobriety allows you to live weekends to the fullest and honestly not just survive them. So please remember that because the weekends, again, are for rest and for living. And if you get through that with some alcohol-free days, it's just going to get better and better and better for you.

Visualise Success And Keep Going

Courtney Andersen 25:13

And just remember, about five weekends is when it gets more and more comfortable of more and more of like, yeah, I can do this. The first couple, the first month, possibly the first two months, are going to feel very uncomfortable until they don't. And when they don't, I really want you to reach out to me on social media, on Instagram, particularly, or send me an email and let me know of your this weekend. Actually, it felt like the new normal life that I'm living, right? So again, change your routines on the weekends, handle social situations a little bit different uh a little bit different, embrace the benefits of waking up on a fucking Monday morning, not feeling like a bag of dicks, right? Your weekends become yours again, and that's the gift. No drink can match. Okay. And each weekend, as you get into this and you're and if you haven't done it yet, like challenge yourself to go out and do something new. Go explore something new. Challenge yourself. If you're a person who's always been on the go, go, go, challenge yourself to lay in bed and bed rot for a day and like see what that's like. And watch some Netflix, watch a couple murder mysteries, watch some Bravo shows, like do a marathon of I don't know, the Real Housewives and Beverly Hills, right? Whatever Fran, whatever city tickles your fancy. Watch it and just sit and be and be grateful that you are not living in the cycle of the weekend warrior of drinking like that, where you're so sick by Saturday or Sunday, then it takes you almost a full week to recover from, right? All right. Let me know if this episode helped you. If you need to listen to it again, listen to it again. Because sometimes we have to listen to things to really like let it sink in and for you to help get you through a Saturday and Sunday. But on Friday night, I want you to envision yourself waking up on Sunday of how it's gonna feel for you not to be hung over and also how proud you are going to be of yourself for not drinking. Feel it and just keep connecting to that feeling of how you're gonna feel on Monday. I know it sounds woo-woo, but this is like it works. Just keep connected to that feel-good feeling. I hope this episode helped. Let me know. Make sure if you check out my resources in the notes below, grab my book if you need help with the first three months of living without alcohol. And keep on trucking and keep kicking ass.