When the Life You Know Changes in an Instant

What happens when the life you knew changes in an instant?

After a serious automobile accident left Jessica Crosby with significant injuries, pain, and mobility limitations, she found herself facing a long and uncertain road ahead.

In this episode, Jessica Crosby, owner of Delight Designs & Remodeling, joins Deb and Lindsay for an open conversation about grieving the life she knew, accepting help, finding ways to keep participating in the things she loves, and learning that progress and grief can exist at the same time.

Jessica also shares the words that have become her new life statement: “The vision is bigger than the setback.”

This is a conversation about hope, perspective, and continuing to live—even when the road ahead looks different than you expected.

Follow Us:

Website: LessStressinLife.com/podcast/

Stay tuned for more conversations to empower you to live well, manage stress, and build a thriving, healthy life!

Transcript

Deb Timmerman 0:05

Welcome to the Less Stress in Life podcast. I'm Deb Timberman, founder of Less Stressed in Life, registered nurse, and board certified reflexologist. I help people navigate the stressors of chronic illness and understand how stress can feed ongoing pain cycles and impact overall health.

Lindsay Vertalka 0:24

And I'm Lindsay Vertelka, a master's level licensed physical therapist. I help people move through injuries, disabilities, and chronic conditions using a holistic approach that blends movement with the mental and emotional side of living with pain. Between the two of us, we've worked with and experienced chronic illness, both professionally and personally.

Deb Timmerman 0:44

This season, we're focusing on what it really looks like to live well with chronic illness. We're here to bring you practical tools, research-backed insights, guests who are walking this path, and fresh approaches you may not have tried, so you can feel more hopeful, more informed, and more supported along the way. Today we're joined by Jessica Crosby, founder of Delight Remodel and Design, whose work is guided by a simple belief: a house isn't truly a home until your story is attached to it. Jessica is a licensed builder and graduate of the New York Institute of Art and Design. She serves on the Board for Habitat for Humanity of Kent County and is active in the Home Builders Association and professional women in building. In 2025, she was honored with the Tenacity Award by West Michigan Woman Magazine. But today, we're talking about more than Jessica's professional story. After surviving a life-changing auto accident, Jessica found herself navigating pain, physical limitations, and a life that suddenly looked very different than the one she had known. That experience has shaped not only the way she approaches her work, but also the way she thinks about home, family, resilience, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go according to plan. Welcome, Jessica. Well, so pleased to have this conversation with you today.

Jessica Crosby 2:11

I'm delighted to be here, and I hope my story will help somebody. So, thank you. Hey Lindsay, how you doing?

Lindsay Vertalka 2:17

I'm great. Jessica, thanks. I'm excited to hear your story, and we love having guests on who walked and choosed like yours. Um hopefully people will gain something from what you've gone through. Thank you.

Deb Timmerman 2:31

Well, let's start by talking about what happened. So I've always known you as this vibrant, very busy businesswoman. And then I see this little something on Facebook that said you were in an auto accident. Tell us about that.

Jessica Crosby 2:49

Yeah, I mean, even just the tone of your voice kind of helped set the stage, right? It was a beautiful September morning, just gorgeous. And on my way to work, and literally in 0.05, not five seconds, but 0.05 seconds, my life changed. The uh oncoming car lost control and came into my lane. We were both going 60 miles per hour, and that had a huge, huge impact. From there, just briefly, I won't go through all my injuries, but literally shattered my ankle, popped open. I won't go into the core details, but it was disgusting. Um, I broke nine ribs, I broke my hip and my pelvis in 12 different places on the opposite leg, and then two punctured lungs, and then I didn't know you could do this, but I dislocated my bladder. So just it was truly life-threatening at first, and then it became very serious limb threatening because we're still not a hundred percent of the woods, we're close, so where I could have totally lost my foot.

Lindsay Vertalka 3:55

So wow, you went through a lot, yeah, physically and emotionally. So do you mind sharing a little bit? Did you have to go to rehab? Are you still doing rehab?

Jessica Crosby 4:06

For sure! So I was at Cornwell Health for a full nine days in critical care, and then from there went to Mary Free Bed and was at Mary Free Bed for about a month, and then from there went to subacute care for another week, and then from there home. So I finally got to go home. But even when I got to be home, because it impacted both legs, I could not put weight on either leg for three months. So, as Deb alluded to, I am a doer. I think people like being busy and like to do, right? And that just slows your world down. You're just stuck in bed for three months straight.

Deb Timmerman 4:43

So tell us a little more about who Jessica before the accident was.

Jessica Crosby 4:48

Um, definitely a go-getter and a doer. Really, really passionate about my business. More passionate about my business. I am just as passionate about my employees. I love watching their lives thrive. We have a gentleman out right now on a honeymoon. He just got married. Some of my employees are talking about babies and that kind of thing. So I really, really thrive in that world and am so proud and blessed to have the team that I have because they they really carried through the accident, a multi-million dollar business and helped carry it through. So very, very blessed to have them and grateful for that. And the other thing I'll say about the accident, too, that I kind of missed that I wanted to make sure I pointed out, you know, you're dealing with looking at an ankle that was so disfigured, but at the same time, I'm so amazed at how many strange people, not strange in the word strange, strangers to me, stopped and offered to help. And how brave that is, because you don't know when you go walk up to that car what you're gonna see, what you're gonna find. And I had probably four or five people stop driving to stop and come and make sure I was okay. So, I just want to make sure I pointed that out. The world can be a beautiful place, and sometimes I think we forget that.

Deb Timmerman 6:01

So, what was the biggest change that you had to initially work through? I mean, you're trying to get your health back together first and foremost, but you've got a business and you've got all these things going on. What how did you even know where to start?

Jessica Crosby 6:18

It it's a funny story. So the first night I was in the hospital, I lit I woke up and I have my right leg in traction, very much like you see in the movies, and my left leg is got rods through it to hold surgery that I had that day, hold everything stable. And I literally said out loud to my business partner, Well, I'll be at the shop next week to set the store for Christmas. Oh boy. Oh, yeah, we laugh about it now because obviously I was so far off point. But, you know, again, I'm gonna highlight my team. They started coming to the hospital for team meetings at the point when I was at home, they came to my house and sang Christmas carols to me, which was sweet because it was right before the holiday. But but that means a lot. And you know, the people that love you and care about you just really pull forward. So it was pretty spectacular to see that.

Lindsay Vertalka 7:09

Yeah, it sounds like you've discovered you probably knew you had a village, but going through an incident, an accident like you have, it sounds like you had a great support network.

Jessica Crosby 7:19

Yeah, I definitely did. And you know, I would be remiss if I didn't talk about my husband, who is, you know, sometimes I think the caregivers don't get enough recognition, but he's been outstanding through this. And my sister has been instrumental. She was the one that came to my house to make sure everything was as ADA compliant as you can get a home in a week's time, right? And help me navigate through all of that. So yeah, I mean, it does take a village. And and I think even in the business world, sometimes we're afraid to ask for help. And I think this has been a lesson to me that it's okay to let people take over and take challenges on that you're just not able to take on.

Deb Timmerman 8:00

At what point did you begin to understand how serious your injuries were and how long your recovery might be?

Jessica Crosby 8:07

Yeah, so I was kind of in and out of it for the next couple of days, but I did overhear my doctor talk about 12 weeks being in bed. And at that time I was kind of laughing, like I couldn't have heard him right. And then that same night my husband came to visit me. And so I said, They're talking about 12 weeks, Jamie. He's like, Yeah, Jess, this is what it is. It's 12 weeks. So, and 12 weeks, and that's the thing too. After my 12 weeks, I thought I'd be out doing the hula. That does not happen. I thought for sure 12 weeks I'd be up walking and things would be it's I'm still not walking, right? I walk with a severe limp and still in a lot of pain. So the recovery process is intense and real.

Deb Timmerman 8:51

And it sounds like ongoing.

Jessica Crosby 8:53

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I definitely have future surgeries ahead and other obstacles in my way that I I will get through.

Lindsay Vertalka 9:02

There's always an emotional roller coaster. Do you mind sharing some of the emotions that you felt or feel even facing upcoming surgeries?

Jessica Crosby 9:11

Yeah, and I will try. I'm gonna start crying. Um, yeah, I think you really, really need to give yourself permission to be sad, and you need to give yourself permission to be mad, angry. Um, the driver of my car had no license, no insurance, none of that stuff. Um, in fact, the tabs on our car were illegal, like all of it was just really bad news. But so sometimes I get pretty mad about that. I think though it's okay to have a bad day, and I work really hard the next morning to say, okay, I had a bad day yesterday, today's gonna be better. And usually it is, sometimes it's not. You know, like I started out this conversation, and in such little time, your life can change. So I'm really working that much harder. I hope that everybody that's in my life feels love from me, but I'm working that much harder to love and care and be thoughtful and mindful and and really adapt to the person I want to be.

Deb Timmerman 10:10

You talked about some of the emotions uh that you uh feel. I happened to see one of your Facebook posts that really struck me, and it said this progress and grief can exist at the same time. So, what do you grieve? What have you had uh to change in order to live your life?

Jessica Crosby 10:30

And this is where I do get sad. I I miss the old Jessica. You know, she was crazy and zany and full of energy and you know, attended a lot of networking events and really wanted to take her business to the utopia of businesses, right? Be the best in the West. And um, I can still do those things, and I need to remind myself that I can still do those things, but it's a lot different. I don't know, when you get to be my age, you know how you leave your cell phone in a different room all the time and you're like, where did I put my cell phone? Where is it? I don't do that anymore. So that's one of the good things about the accident. I have to plan every step I take. So I have to be very purposeful and mindful of make sure I have my phone because I don't, it's too painful to walk across the room to go get it because I forgot it. So there's changes like that where you really have to think, you know, going to a new place. I do job site visits, right? And so to go to a home offers a little bit of anxiety for me because is there gonna be steps? Is it gonna be uneven ground? Like all of those things that I need to really, really be cautious of and be mindful of. So yeah, I mean, I grieve the old Jessica, she won't ever be back, unfortunately. But I'm also really trying to cope with that and embrace the new Jessica and where are the positives so I can latch on to those and and just be different.

Deb Timmerman 11:52

Well, and I think what I've noticed about following this process on Facebook with you is you went on a vacation and you took a wheelchair. So you did the vacation, maybe not walking the way you wanted to, but you didn't miss out.

Jessica Crosby 12:09

That and that's well said. So that was a um vacation that I, you know, back in September of last year, I thought, okay, I'll be fine by then. It was a family wedding, very much looking forward to it, and thought, okay, I'll be dancing and all that. And that that didn't happen. I was able to dance one song, so I celebrated that. Um, but yeah, it was in New York, and New York, I'm sorry, is just not a city for disabled people. It just is, you know, there's a lot of walking involved. Um, so yeah, there were a few times where a wheelchair just made much more sense than trying to walk at all. I mean, that just would be silly. So rather than missing out, we have another vacation plan for September with my sister and uh brother-in-law, and same thing. We already know that I'm gonna have to get a wheelchair for certain parts of it just because the walking is too much.

Lindsay Vertalka 12:58

Well, Jessica, I applaud you for making the decision to not miss out on things.

Jessica Crosby 13:03

Yeah.

Lindsay Vertalka 13:04

Because you have limitations. I've worked with patients over the years. I can remember I had a gal who said, you know, she went to the fair every year, her daughter was showing pigs, and she wasn't gonna go because she didn't want to use a wheelchair. Yeah. And because you're dealing with a disability right now.

Jessica Crosby 13:20

Yep. Yep. And it's unfortunate. There is a component of pride that disappears when you can't walk, which is is kind of silly. I don't know. I I feel bad because now that I'm in the in this predicament, I wish I would have reached out to disabled people more. Because it's easy now that I have this lens on, right? But there is an element I I kind of get what your patient was going through because it is a little embarrassing that I have to hobble or limp across the room, but yet, man, I don't want to miss out.

Deb Timmerman 13:52

So now that you have these mobility limitations, how has that changed you as a designer, as a business owner who builds? What has happened with that?

Jessica Crosby 14:07

Um, I get a little emotional about this too, and the answer might surprise you. I love design and I love to have a beautiful home and I love to design beauty. But this this accident made me put beauty second. And it's about the memories, it's about the Christmases, it's about where you do homework. And so now when I design, definitely aging in place, and I was kind of already doing that direction, but aging in place, if it's a new build, are we prepared for how quickly your life can change in 0.05 seconds? And should we think about those things? And I'm not even saying, you know, put um ADA handrails everywhere, but can we do the blocking behind the wall just in case? I mean, that's a minimal fee, but let's prepare for those things. And I much rather than trying to push the aesthetics, I'm pushing the lifestyle and how do you live, where do you live, where do you create the memories? And that I think the team has kind of latched onto that new philosophy as well, and it's almost freeing because it's like that's how it should have been in the first place. It's not about the beautiful wallpaper or the throw pillows, it's really about who's living in the home.

Deb Timmerman 15:18

We have been in our house six years, and we thought we built to be able to age in place. And my husband has been using a cane a lot of days recently, and we are going to do a remodel just for that purpose because we didn't think of everything we shouldn't have thought of.

Jessica Crosby 15:35

Right. And there's a couple builders here in town, Snowden Builders, I know is one of them, where they build purposely to like, why not? You know, it's a 36-inch doorway instead of a 32. Big deal. Like, let's make it ready for those things that you don't want to think about. But, you know, if it's an extra 30 grand for a new build of a house and you don't have to go to a home, hello. That 30 grand would be absorbed in a year's time if you had to go to a home for that.

Lindsay Vertalka 16:04

Yeah, actually, as I listen to you, it sounds like you're probably an even better designer with a new with a new set of lenses and new perspective. It's hard sometimes when folks go through an injury like you have to try to look at the positive. It's easy to focus on the negative. So with that being said, you know, have you had days where you don't feel so positive?

Jessica Crosby 16:28

Oh, for sure. For sure. As I mentioned earlier, I can get pretty angry at my driver. I actually know her occupation, and and I am not a sue happy girl. We're not going to sue her, but I would love to advocate in the state of Michigan. So since my accident, I have had two other people be in an accident that I know. Similar situation where the driver wasn't insured. And my husband's actually in insurance, and he's, you know, 25% of Michigan drivers don't carry insurance. That's eye-opening to me. So I would love to advocate somehow within the state of Michigan. How do we? I don't know if penalize is the right word, but how do we make them a little bit more accountable for not having insurance? And when they, you know, disrupt somebody's entire life, how do we make them a little bit more accountable?

Deb Timmerman 17:19

Well, and it really adds to the debt burden as well for everybody, doesn't it?

Jessica Crosby 17:24

For sure. For sure. Yeah. I mean, we're all those those of us that pay insurance are paying for those who don't.

Deb Timmerman 17:30

So one of the phrases I've seen you write is this the vision is bigger than the setback. And you've made that your new life statement. Where did those words come from? And what does that mean to you?

Jessica Crosby 17:44

So I don't know if you two I'm really into quotes. And, you know, like Michael Jordan, his quote of, you know, you always miss 100% of the shots you never take, kind of thing. And and so I I kept trying to think of a quote that would speak to me personally and kept trying to play with what quote would work best, I guess. And I happen to happen to be changing some of the business model that I'm doing now, in part because of the accident. And with that, my husband, who's been super, super supportive, we are, I kind of already shared with you, Deb, but we are going to be moving our business, which is gonna offer a lot of opportunity. And with that move, that whole design is gonna be centered around people's lives and how they live instead of the wallpaper. We're not even gonna talk about the wallpaper or the courts that we use or any of that. It's like, how do you live? And so as I get to dream about that, I swear my husband architected this whole thing so that I'd have something to think about. But it's exciting for me to think about that, and that's what I mean about the vision. It's it's life, you know, Lindsay said it too. I mean, participate, take part in life. Nobody cares if you're hobbling along, nobody cares if you're in a wheelchair, just be there, be present. I love that. I think that it's so easy to, when things don't go your way, to fill in the gaps and make up a story about why you can't do things, but to find tools and a support system that help you maybe not live exactly the life that you did lead, and maybe even get to author a better life in some ways. And I think you've done this more than once in your life, haven't you? Isn't that the reason why you have a business? That is the reason why I have a business. I it's funny because I say my health is good, but yeah, I am a breast cancer survivor. Um, and that too was very, very scary. Uh, you know, double mastectomy, a stage three cancer, so a very serious cancer. But yet, through that, too. I mean, you just learn that the West Michigan Magazine Award for Tenacity that I won the year before the car accident. I'm like, okay, yeah, I I feel worthy. I feel worthy. Now it's like, hello. It's like just keep going and keep pushing. Like, I don't know. I definitely the little engine that could. I I feel that spirit in me.

Deb Timmerman 20:14

So, how do you frame your day? How do you get up and decide what kind of day you're gonna have? I know the body gives you feedback, and sometimes those pain alarms are probably sounding. Do you give in to that or do you have a mantra, a plan, a morning routine that gets you over the hump and into a different frame of mind?

Jessica Crosby 20:35

Yeah, yeah, that's a good question. I think I have been, thankfully, because I love it, but I I have been given a very creative mind, and that was not impacted in the accident. So my creativity can go on forever. I love to dream and and figure out how I'm gonna make that dream come true. But with that, with my job, there's a lot of physical. Um, we do home staging, so there's a lot of physical to that. So there are definitely times where I'm like, okay, guys, I gotta sit down for a minute or I gotta sit down for an hour. Um, and they they proceed forward and get the job done. But everybody here seems to understand it, they seem to get it. You know, I don't see anybody rolling their eyes saying, Here she goes again, not doing her job, kind of thing. So I think people understand it and have compassion for it.

Deb Timmerman 21:23

Well, and I think they love you for creating the kind of workplace that you've created. You put people first.

Jessica Crosby 21:33

Yeah, yeah, I hope so. I actually reached out to the news stations because I really wanted them to do something about my team. I think it's remarkable. So most of my team is in their 20s, other than the cruise side, but my designers are all young, and holy cow, did they carry this business so eloquently? And I I wanted to give a call out to that, but no news station would take the story, unfortunately. I was like, this is a really good story, but yeah, I'm just they're in it to win it, and I love that about them.

Deb Timmerman 22:06

So as we wrap up, what words of advice would you have for somebody who's maybe facing a long road ahead?

Jessica Crosby 22:15

I think finding mentors, I have um there's a gal on the not the other side of the St. Lancing who did go through an amputation, and so I follow her and she's been an inspiration. Lindsay, I'm drawing a blank, the skier that had the uh ski accident. Thank you, Lindsay Vaughn. I think having those people to look up to, and I and as I started this conversation out, I hope that I can reach somebody in that way. But that I think that's really, really instrumental to show that you know what, that Lindsay Vaughn, holy cow, she's dancing down a hallway with a cane. Like that's some spirit of life right there. So I think just having those mentors to look up to and your support, holy cow, your your support system is huge.

Deb Timmerman 23:00

And I know you well enough to know that if you could help somebody else, you would want to do that. So we will put uh Jessica's contact information in our show notes, uh, her email and her business contacts. So if you are looking for somebody to give you a hand up and be a mentor, please by all means reach out to one of us. We'd be happy to help talk you through whatever you're going through. Jessica, thanks so much for sharing this with us today. It makes my heart feel really good to see you doing all the things that you're doing.

Jessica Crosby 23:37

Well, thank you. Thank you so much.

Lindsay Vertalka 23:40

And best of luck as you, I mean, this journey is not always linear. It, you know, there's hills and valleys. I'm sure you've already learned that, but keep pushing forward and keep that positive attitude as you progress through your future surgeries and rehab. It's not easy.

Jessica Crosby 23:59

Thank you so much.

Lindsay Vertalka 24:00

Yeah.

Speaker 2 24:02

The Less Stress in Life podcast is for informational and educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening does not establish a provider-patient relationship. Always consult your physician or qualified health care provider with questions about your health or before making changes to your care. Do not delay seeking medical advice because of something you heard here. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, seek immediate care or call 911.