66. How to Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action

In this episode, I'm diving deep into the common struggle of overthinking. Join me as I define overthinking, explain how it differs from purposeful deliberation, and provide actionable strategies to overcome it. Whether it's making small decisions like writing a report or larger life decisions, this discussion aims to help you identify patterns, manage anxiety, and become more efficient in your decision-making process. Join the conversation in the SLP Support Group and don't miss the upcoming free virtual Lunch and Learn on September 26th. Tune in to gain insights and tools to stop overthinking and start making thoughtful, confident decisions.

Time Stamps:

00:00 Introduction to Overthinking

01:56 Defining Overthinking

03:59 Consequences of Overthinking

08:10 Distinguishing Overthinking from Deliberation

12:57 Strategies for Purposeful Deliberation

20:58 Invitation to Lunch and Learn

21:59 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

Hello, podcast listeners. I'm doing a podcast episode today all about something that we all struggle with, myself included, and that is overthinking. So if you are somebody who has found yourself struggling when you are trying to make a decision, whether it's big or little, or you find yourself sort of running through all these different scenarios and what ifs in your head, then this episode is definitely one that you want to listen to.

What I'm going to do is walk you through overthinking what it is and how to distinguish it from actual, what I call, deliberation, purposeful deliberation. And so we're going to talk about what the differences are between those two things and how to know if [00:01:00] you are truly overthinking, or if you're just being really thoughtful in your decision making process.

And then I'm going to give you some strategies that you can use to sort of help get yourself out of being stuck if and you are overthinking. So that is the plan for today's episode. Let's go ahead and talk through it. I am recording this both on video and audio. And, uh, so you might be watching this in the Facebook group and the SLP support group on Facebook.

If you are, I'd love to hear your responses, comments, let me know what you think. And if you're listening to this episode, on the podcast and you're not in the SLP support group, make sure you click the link in the show notes and join the group so that you can get access to everything that I share there on Facebook.

Alright, so overthinking, like I said before, is something we all [00:02:00] struggle with. I work with this, or I work on this, with my coaching clients a lot. And it's something that I personally have worked on myself in the past and kind of need to continue to actively monitor. Cause every now and again, I'll catch myself getting stuck.

So overthinking for the purposes of this episode, the way that I would define overthinking is running through lots and lots of thoughts in your brain that are preventing you from taking further action. Overthinking is typically driven by anxiety or fear.

or perfectionism. Those are sort of the three, three of the most, in my opinion, frequent flyers, so to speak, that keep [00:03:00] us stuck in that overthinking phase. Okay? Overthinking is incredibly unproductive. It wastes time. It is not deliberate. It is not purposeful. It is essentially your brain on a hamster wheel, and that wheel just keeps spinning, but you're not actually moving.

Anywhere. And overthinking can happen on a really small scale, like let's say how to word something, how to, how to word something in an evaluation report, or could happen on a much larger scale, like making a big life decision, such as what job to take or what setting you want to work in as a speech pathologist, what you want to set your schedule to as an SLP, right?

So things like that as well that are a little bit. Bigger and bigger decisions, but it shows up at every level. [00:04:00] And what happens is, is when we get stuck in this pattern of overthinking. We don't actually move the needle. We don't get ourselves any closer to a decision. We just sort of run through every potential scenario and imagine all the what ifs.

But in the meantime, we are delaying taking action. So we are not writing the report. We are not getting any closer to making a decision on where we want to work for our next job, right? And what happens then is a few things. Number one, it creates this sense of overwhelm and stress and confusion. And you're just in this In this place where you're struggling, and it's sort of [00:05:00] impacting all different areas, not just That one particular area that you are, you know that the decision is related to.

So for example, if you are struggling with how to word something in a report and then you leave work and that report isn't done now you're taking home that report and you're also taking home sort of the stress and the annoyance and the frustration and it's, you're carrying it with you as you then are spending time with your spouse or your partner or your family, right?

Also, you know, on the bigger scale, if you are overthinking how to make a really big decision, that is going to sort of permeate all those other areas, all those other routines and, um, different, Rhythms and parts of your day because you're just way down by this decision and all the what ifs, right? All those scenarios, all those questions.

And [00:06:00] so there's a tax that's on us. There's a tax that of, of this indecisiveness of this overthinking. And so it costs us, it also costs us time, because now we are wasting time in these unproductive thoughts, and we are not able to take action, or if and when we are taking action, we're probably taking action on things in a way that's maybe not our best quality of work, we're not showing up as our best selves, we're not putting our best foot forward, and we're not working as quickly and efficiently as possible because we're bogged down with this decision, this overthinking of this decision.

Okay. And so, as you are walking around with this added stress, as you are wasting time being stuck in overthinking, what happens Is sometimes you miss out. You [00:07:00] might miss out on the opportunity to take the job or you might miss the deadline for the report. You might be holding other people up with getting information to them and they're waiting on you for something, but you're stuck in that overthinking.

And so it's now impacting you. Their time and their ability to do what they need to do. So overthinking is something that impacts us deeply in many different ways and parts of our life and can even impact the people that are around us. Okay, that is In a nutshell, that's how I think of overthinking. I would love to hear what you think of overthinking and what you sort of notice that you get stuck in if there are certain decisions or tasks that you [00:08:00] tend to overthink more frequently on.

Always, I'm always telling clients, let's look for the patterns. Let's look for the patterns. What are we noticing? Now, I want to differentiate this or distinguish overthinking from actual decision making. Deliberation, okay, purposeful deliberation. So when we are in this phase of or this place of deliberation, yes, we're thinking through things.

And we're, we might feel like we're sort of stuck in this space of paralysis or, you know, not able to move forward until we work through this. However, deliberation, the thoughts that are going through our heads, are much more productive. Deliberation is much more purposeful. It moves the needle forward.

And the [00:09:00] other thing about deliberation that helps us distinguish this from overthinking is the emotions. So deliberation, if we are thinking through a decision and we're just thinking through it purposefully and thoughtfully, we tend to have very little attachment to the outcome or very little attachment to getting it wrong.

Very little overwhelm and fear over what people are going to think or what's going to happen. So we're sort of, doing this. We're in, when we're in deliberation, we are feeling more neutral. We're feeling a little bit more in control over our thoughts and over what we decide to do versus overthinking.

We're very much, we're like, in the pool, swimming around with all the possible outcomes, and we're [00:10:00] very attached to what happens. We're very attached to making the quote unquote right or wrong decision. Okay, so that is another important distinguisher between overthinking. and deliberation. So in terms of deliberation, I said before that it's purposeful and productive.

So as we're thinking through this decision, we're thinking from a neutral place and we're sort of like, okay, if this happens, or if I do this, then these would be the consequences or these would be the results. It would feel like this, it would look like this, x, y, z. If I make this decision instead, this is what would happen.

This is what that would look like. And You sort of see your different scenarios, and you're able to make the decision that feels best because you've got key [00:11:00] factors outlined for you. Okay? This might look like a pros and cons list, although I will say my overthinkers can make pros and cons lists and still be stuck.

So just because you've made a pros and cons list does not necessarily mean that you aren't overthinking. You still can be. But it's often a good place to start to help move you from that overthinking to deliberation. So it might look like a pros and cons list. It might look like talking through the scenario or the decision with the important people in your life.

Again, As an overthinker though, overthinkers tend to talk to everybody about the decision. I need to get everybody's opinion. I need to know what my best friend says. I need to know what my mom says. I need to know what my husband or my boyfriend or my girlfriend says. It's, you've got like this list of people that you need to sort of run through and find out what their opinions [00:12:00] are.

And then you compare, then you're like, well, so and so said this, but this person said that. And if you are relying on other people and other people's opinions to make your decision. You're already at a disadvantage because the only person, usually the primary person that has to deal with the impact of that decision is you, right?

Most of the time. Sometimes we're making decisions for other people, but really it's going to be you that's handling this. And so we can get very easily stuck in other people's opinions. So you have to sort of toe the line and really check in with yourself and. Ask yourself, am I being purposeful as I'm thinking this through?

Or is this something that I'm just spinning on the wheel? I'm just, I just keep spinning and I'm not moving any closer, okay? When it comes to [00:13:00] deliberation, one of the biggest I would say one of the biggest strategies that people who are purposefully making decisions, one of the biggest strategies they have or that they, they utilize is knowing their values.

They know whether they realize it or not. They know what are the most important components of this decision that matter. And they make the decision based on those components. So, for example, if someone, for someone like me, right, time is one of my biggest values. So that's something I factor in when I'm making decisions.

So say we have the opportunity to sign up the kids for a new event, or I have the opportunity to go out and do something fun, or there's some, I've been asked to volunteer on a committee or, you know, anything like that, right? [00:14:00] Because time is my value, one of my core values, I think through what would be the impact on my time.

If I say yes to this, how would it impact my time? If I say no to this, how would it impact my time? Right? Other people have other values and that's absolutely fine. So for somebody who really values one of their core values is connection or community, then they're going to Factor that in to making their decision and you use those values as like a filter.

So you can sort of run the opportunity or run the decision through that filter and say, okay, does it, how does it align with this value? How does it align with this value? And it helps you to make a decision quicker and to make a better decision, a better decision, meaning a decision that's going to be a better fit for you.

Overthinkers are worried about what everyone else is going to think. Overthinkers are worried [00:15:00] about, they're not thinking about those values. They are. They're just instead stuck on how is this going to impact other people? What are people going to think? What are people going to say? Am I doing it right?

Am I doing it wrong? Those are, um, they're more outward. They're thinking more outwardly in terms of the impact on other people and, and what people might think versus people who are in that purposeful deliberation are like, okay, this is what matters. This is how it's going to impact me. I'm going to make the decision.

this way. You as a, when you are in the process of deliberation, you are typically gathering the important information, right? So if you know what your values are, you are, you are using that to help you figure out What information do I need in order to make this decision? And the information that [00:16:00] you need to make the decision might actually be different information than somebody else needs to make the decision.

Even if what you're deciding on is the exact same thing, right? So for me, I might need to know how long something's going to take. But for somebody else, that might not be a factor, and they might be trying to make the same, you know, faced with making the same decision as me, but time is not something that they're going to factor in.

So that's not something that they need to find out about. But you need to know, what is the information I need in order to make this decision? What are the potential obstacles that I will face? What are the potential challenges if I decide this? Thank you. Right? If I decide yes or I decide no, what would be the, the downside, right?

Those cons on the con list, what would be the impact of this decision? And what are those obstacles? And am I willing to face and [00:17:00] overcome those obstacles? if they present themselves. So you are weighing your options, you're getting all the information, and you are deciding with intention based on what matters most to you.

Deliberation can a good amount of time, but I would like to offer that once you sort of get into this habit and you start learning how to make decisions like the way that we just talked about, the way that I just described. It can be quick, it can be easy, it can be simple, it can be, you can be confident in making those decisions.

So it is possible, if you are an overthinker now, to get into a place where you are able to make a quick, intentional decision after purposeful deliberation. And let me tell you how much [00:18:00] easier and lighter it feels when you can do that. It is. a game changer because you are, you know that you are making the best decision for you and for your family or whoever else might be involved.

You know that you are, you can stand by the decision that you've made. And so you don't then have to question after the fact, did I do the right thing? Did I not do the right thing? You can know confidently if Yeah, I made the best decision I could with the information that I had at the time. This is how I made the decision.

Even if that decision turns out to be quote unquote wrong, you can still feel confident in how you arrived there because you went through this sort of process versus my overthinkers. Even after you arrive at the decision, how many of you are still worried about whether or not you got it wrong? Oh, I don't know if that was the right decision.[00:19:00] 

I don't know. I don't know if I should have done that. I don't I'm not so sure about this. And then you're still overthinking, even though it's done, right? And by being able to make these decisions quickly, and knowing exactly how you make them, having this sort of protocol in place, will help you to close those loops, it reduces the number of open loops that are running through your brain or those open tabs that are running through your brain where you're still thinking about, Oh shoot, I have to make a decision.

What, uh, am I signing them up for this or am I not signing them up for this? Oh no, I didn't decide on whether or not we're ordering from this fundraiser or, Oh no, I didn't decide on if I'm going to take on this new client or not, or I still have to decide on when I'm fitting this client into my schedule.

So. You're still, you're still, you still have these open loops running through your mind when you're an overthinker. But when you're a, when you can purposefully [00:20:00] deliberate, you can close those loops so much quicker. So it opens up mental bandwidth for things that are more important. Now you're able to execute tasks more quickly, more efficiently, better quality work.

You're lighter, less stress, less overwhelmed because you knew how to make a decision. Thanks It's so important to know the difference between overthinking and deliberation, and it's really important for you to know how you deliberate, what is your purposeful deliberation protocol, what does that look like, so that you can start making this change, okay?

Now, if you're listening to this and you are an overthinker, if you are like, I definitely get stuck. I overthink everything. I really struggle. I deliberate to be a deliberator sounds really good, but I don't quite know how to get there. Then you definitely [00:21:00] want to sign up for the free lunch and learn that I'm hosting later this month.

It is scheduled for Thursday, September 26th at noon Eastern, because spoiler alert, my overthinkers tend to be procrastinators. When we are overthinking, we are often procrastinating. We are stuck, we're not taking action, and it can be really difficult for us to stay on top of the things that we need to stay on top of as busy SLPs.

Or PTs or OTs or whatever field you work in. So if you are an overthinker, then make sure you sign up for this lunch and learn this free workshop that's happening. The link is in the show notes. If you can't make it live, it's on zoom virtual. If you cannot make it live, that's okay. I will send out a recording, but you have to be registered in order to get access to that recording.

All right. So. I [00:22:00] hope to see you there at the live lunch and learn on September 26. I hope that this episode was helpful for you and let me know in the comments for those of you that are watching in the SLP support group, are you an overthinker? Are you a deliberator? And what are your thoughts about this topic?

All right. See y'all soon. Thanks for tuning in. Bye.