Your Social Eating Survival Guide: Finding Balance Without Sacrifice

Ever feel like social occasions are sabotaging your health goals? 

In this enlightening episode, Dr. Orlena shares her personal experience celebrating her 50th birthday in Pisa, Italy, transforming it into a masterclass on maintaining wellness while enjoying life's special moments. 

You'll discover why social eating is actually a skill you can master, learn three practical strategies for handling any social food situation, and understand how to shift your mindset from feeling deprived to feeling empowered. 

Whether you're navigating family dinners, holidays, or special celebrations, this episode provides actionable insights to help you balance health with happiness. 

Through real-world examples and practical wisdom, Dr. Orlena shows that you don't have to choose between enjoying social occasions and maintaining your healthy lifestyle. Join us for this candid discussion about finding your perfect balance in a world of pizza, pasta, and social pressure.

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Transcript

Dr Orlena (00:01.614)
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Fit and Fabulous with me, Dr. Orlena I hope that you are feeling fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. Well, that's it. This is it for me. It is the other side of 50. I am officially in my second half decade.

And it's okay, it's absolutely okay. I thought that, know, suddenly I would be like, my goodness, I can't move and I'm really, old. But no, guess what? I'm just a day older than I was yesterday. So we went to Pisa with my family, with my kids and my brothers and sisters and my parents who split up like 30 years ago. And it was wonderful. The weather was not great, I have to confess. It rained, but we had a fabulous time. And as ever, we did some eating. And I thought it would be really interesting

to use this trip as an example of social eating because I know that social eating is a really big hurdle for many of you and I also think that social eating is a muscle, it's a skill that you need to learn and that you practice and practice and it's about getting the balance right and

It is something that there is no right or wrong answer to. But I know that for many of you, it really is one of the big problems that makes you feel like, my goodness, it would be easy to nail this healthy eating thing if only I could just eat by myself all the time and never have to deal with other people, either in my family, it might be that.

you are trying very hard to eat healthily and your partner or your kids or other people around you really aren't supporting you so I've spoken to people who say, know, my partner just brings back junk the whole time and I find myself eating this junk whereas if I was just by myself I wouldn't be eating this junk or it could be that you're going out to social events perhaps on holiday like me or just any other social events and sometimes there isn't any other food and sometimes it's just that you see other people eating and you think, oh, I'm going

Dr Orlena (02:01.104)
to join in, it's great. So how do we manage these situations and how do we manage them in a way that...

We continue to prioritize our health and wellness, yet at the same time, we're not totally depriving ourselves so that we don't feel like, my goodness, everybody else is having a great time and here's me eating a piece of celery and I hate it. So that is what we are going to talk about today. Now, before we dive into some of the strategies or the theory around this, I think it's really important to take a step back and think it's not really what you do on any one day or week.

that's really the important thing. What's really the important thing is what you're doing day in, day out, day in, day out.

So for me, I know that I lead a very healthy life. I eat very minimally processed food. I eat very healthily. I exercise well. I prioritize my sleep, my emotional wellness. So I'm basically ticking all the boxes and then I'm going away to Pisa, which is clearly in Italy and in Italy, guess what they eat in Italy? They eat pizza and they eat pasta, which is not really my style of eating, but I'm there with, there were 12 of us. So I can't carry on eating in exactly the way

that I want to. Having said that, for me, it's more about maintaining my health and wellness and energy levels rather than worrying about weight loss and things like that. So for me, I know that if I'm not eating in a way that...

Dr Orlena (03:35.51)
I want, so if I'm eating lots and lots of what I call white refined carbohydrates, AKA sugar and flour, then I'm just gonna feel energy drained and it impacts my body. If I'm eating at different times, it can impact my sleep and you you never sleep very well when you're away or at least personally, I never do. I could be in the best place ever, but it's a different bed, so I don't sleep well and perhaps there's noise and other things going on. So it's really about trying to maintain.

as much as you can, but in a way that you enjoy. So there, before you go to any social event, there are basically three different...

strategies that you can use. And you may have heard me talk about this before because this is a system. It's one of the systems that I teach my clients and it's one of the systems that I use myself as well. And it is a system that you can come back to and come back to. So if you think that, my goodness, this is getting on top of me, go back to the system and start looking at it again. So.

you have three options. Number one, you can totally, totally indulge. And I think this is probably, if you're at the beginning of your health and wellness journey, this is the one that is the easiest to do. You're just gonna say, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna take this out of healthy eating. I'm just gonna go with the flow. I'm gonna eat and I'm gonna drink and do whatever happens and just not worry about it. And that's perfectly fine. That's an option to take. And then what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get back on track and get back to my healthy eating and looking after myself.

after the holiday or whatever the event is. So that is option number one. Option number two is the total opposite. And you can say, do you know what? I am going to stick to my guns and I'm gonna eat in exactly the way that I want to eat even though I'm going on holiday or I'm going to this social event.

Dr Orlena (05:27.232)
Now you have to be honest with yourself and have a think about what obstacles are you going to face? So if you're going away and you're by yourself, that might be a feasible thing to do. But if you're going away and you're with lots of other people, that might not be a feasible thing to do. And equally, if you're going to a social event, what does that mean? Does that mean you're going to have to bring your entire own food because there isn't going to be any food that's there? Or does it mean that you can have some of the food that's there or not other foods?

really clear what that involves. Now the other

option number three is a sort of halfway house. So you could say, for example, do you know what? I'm gonna have one glass of wine and then I'm gonna stop. Or I'm gonna have one slice of cake and then I'm gonna stop. So you're not totally indulging. You're not doing like everything all out. You're going, okay, I'm gonna have a small piece. I'm gonna have a little bit of the stuff that I don't really want to be eating anymore. Now, it does depend where you are in your health and wellness journey. If we're talking about sugar and people have decided to reduce

dramatically the amount of sugar that they are eating, a lot of people to begin with find it much easier to totally cut it out rather than have a little bit. Having a little bit is a little bit like poking yourself in the face going, do you want it? Do you want it? Do you want it? And that is coming back to discipline and saying, hey, you know what? You're giving yourself an option and at some stage you're going to make in inverted commas, the wrong decision, the decision that you don't want to make. Whereas a lot of people find, actually do you know what?

I exclude sugar entirely, I take that decision away and I don't have to think about it. I can just get on with my life thinking about the stuff that I want to think about rather than trying to think, do I want sugar or not?

Dr Orlena (07:22.028)
So those are your three options. One, total indulgence. Two, totally stick to whatever it is that you're doing. Or three, have a little bit of a halfway house. And I think it really is important to know where you are in terms of...

your healthy eating, and as you get further along your journey, as you find it easier and easier to be a healthy eater, as those habits get more oak tree habits, you are going to find that it will be easier to do number two, or even number three, if that's possible, rather than number one. So what did I do when I went to Pisa? Well,

it was difficult. Pisa is a really small town and ideally I would go to the supermarket and buy lots of fruit and vegetables and things like that so that we've got things like that but they didn't actually have any great supermarkets there they have lots of

Dr Orlena (09:44.92)
So they didn't really have very many supermarkets. They have what I would call corner shop, little tiny supermarkets that are A, super expensive and B, don't really have the stuff that you want. So we did do some of that. We did have...

some fruit and vegetables. The first thing I did was go out and get some fruit and vegetables. I realized I should have just bought as much as I could have on that first day because it soon got eaten up and I thought I was gonna go back to a supermarket and get more, but that never really happened. I did note it was quite amusing. My family and friends all turned up with bottles of alcohol and I turned up with fruit and vegetables.

So that's one thing. And then we had some meals that were at home. So we did eat out and that was fabulous. But we also had some meals at home, which obviously is a cost saving and my children are very picky. So it was good to have some meals at home because it meant that the children had things they like. I know, I know you'd think in Italy we'd be able to find things that children would like, but it was still a little bit stressful eating out in terms of.

children not knowing what they wanted and not being able to find something. I know, go to a pizza restaurant. Surely you kids have something that they could like. The point about eating out is, sorry, eating, cooking for yourself,

in your accommodation is, well, number one, Airbnbs are not great at having kitchens, so it's always a bit of a challenge, but it does allow you some control in being able to create food that your kids like, but also being able to add more fruits and vegetables and lentils and legumes and things like that.

Dr Orlena (11:21.198)
Now, another day we went out and we had lunch and actually I managed to find a poke bowl which was a little bit strange going to Italy for three days and then basically eating not Italian cuisine. But the thing about the poke bowl was that it was loads of different fruits and vegetables. It was perfect, it was really delicious and I really enjoyed it. So although it was a bit of a shame not to eat Italian that day, we got a little bit...

stuck in terms of, my goodness, where are we gonna go? And my sister had been to this place the day before and we just decided that it was a great thing. And for me personally, it gave me that boost of, okay, I don't really mind what else I have eaten to eat today, as long as I have had some fruit and vegetables. If I get some fruit and vegetables, some nuts and seeds, then I'm a happy bunny and I can cope with eating stuff that I don't particularly want to eat.

What else did we do? When we went to a restaurant, so we had another day where we went to a restaurant and it was just adults, the children had gone off bowling at this stage. And as much as I like Italian food, and they do obviously cook amazingly delicious Italian food, it tends to be pasta with a very strong meat sauce. Now, I'm not particularly keen on meat and I'm not particularly keen on pasta, so I went for a farro soup. So farro is...

whole grain. I actually don't know if this was vegetarian, I don't know if they put any meat in the stock, I suspect it was vegetarian but it was totally delicious and for me that was a little bit of a new thing to go for essentially the vegetarian option but actually I really really enjoyed it and part of my brain was saying well it's just vegetables you're paying quite a lot of money for a plate of vegetables but another part of me was but this is really tasty and we ended up you know tasting other people's long story but we ended up you know trying

other people's dishes and I really thought that mine was the best for me. You know the others were delicious but I didn't want to eat a whole plate of pasta and rich meat sauce so that was a good option. Looking for a vegetable vegetarian option which often has more vegetables in it and then of course I totally indulged in having tiramisu. You can't go to Italy without eating tiramisu. Absolutely delicious and really enjoyed having a dessert and a treat. More wine, more alcohol

Dr Orlena (13:42.296)
than I would normally drink. Normally I don't drink anything these days at home, but you know, it was my 50th birthday and my family have come from England to Italy to come and celebrate with me. So yes, I had some alcohol. And what I would say regarding alcohol is if you can drink it before, like earlier in the evening, as opposed to just before you go to bed, it's gonna have less of an impact on your sleep. Now I have to confess.

being now 50, well actually for the last several years, I have found that alcohol really impacts on my sleep. And that is something that happens to women who are perimenopausal or menopausal, that alcohol really has a much bigger impact than it used to on sleep. And for that reason, that's one of the main reasons that I choose not to drink alcohol, because I just feel tired the next day and I don't want to feel tired. I want to feel full of energy. Now, of course there are health benefits to not drinking. The bottom line is

Alcohol is not very healthy. It's not very good for you in any way whatsoever. The one thing it does give you is a little bit of relaxation, but there are lots of better ways of getting relaxation and dealing with stress in your life. And we did a podcast a couple of weeks ago on stress, so go and check that out if you haven't listened to that.

So all in all, I had a fabulous time. I indulged a little bit, so I went with number two. I indulged a little bit, but I still maintained quite a lot of my relatively healthy eating patterns. I would say one thing that I find being out and about.

and I guess it depends where you are, but particularly in Pisa, is it's very difficult to get food on the hoof that is not bread-based. So just sandwiches, focaccia, pasta, pizza, all of these things readily available, other foods not so much. And when I see something that is basically 80 % bread, I'm like, I don't really want to eat that. I'd rather have a piece of fruit or some vegetables or something else. So it does involve a little bit of planning at times or on the-

Dr Orlena (15:45.738)
the last day our flight was at lunchtime we kind of didn't really get very much lunch and we had to wait and have a late lunch or early dinner at home it was only an hour's flight so it wasn't really a big deal but it wasn't ideal I would say so sometimes it doesn't all work out perfectly but you can get a balance between total indulgence and total deprivation there is a balance to be had

So I hope that was helpful for you. The one thing I would say about...

eating in a social situation and this big issue of, they're eating this or drinking this and I really want this. When I see somebody else doing this, I want to join in. That bit is a mindset piece and that bit really is the muscle that you need to practice seeing somebody else doing something that part of your brain wants to do and going, do you know what? Actually, I'm enjoying myself not doing that. I'm enjoying myself.

not eating the meat and pasta. I'm enjoying myself having a little bit of alcohol, but not loads of alcohol.

I'm enjoying myself sitting here watching somebody else eat an ice cream or a cupcake. And you really have to pay attention to the things that are the positive. So connecting with your family, having a good time in other places and not focus on that feeling of deprivation. The feeling of deprivation is that you have a desire and you aren't fulfilling that desire. Actually, as you go along your healthy eating journey, you'll find that your desire for sugar goes down.

Dr Orlena (17:20.564)
And so you're not, you don't feel like you're depriving yourself. You just feel like you're looking after yourself and you feel like you are putting your health and your wellness and feeling great and having lots of energy and leading your best life. And you're putting that first and that feels so much better. So I hope this was helpful and I will see you again next week. And if anybody wants to talk about this kind of work, this is exactly what I do with my coaching clients. And if you're interested in finding out more, please,

book a call and we will chat about what it would look like if I supported you with this. Have a fabulous day.