Healing Isn’t Leaving the Narcissist—It’s Leaving Behind the You That Loved Them.

🔗 All Resources and to Apply for 1-1 session with Dr Amen Kaur:
➡️ https://linktr.ee/dramenkaur

In today’s episode, Dr. Amen Kaur speaks from a deeply present and sacred space, sharing the raw truth about what it really means to heal from a narcissistic relationship. Spoiler: it’s not just about leaving the toxic person—it’s about leaving behind the version of yourself that was deeply bonded to their dysfunction.

This is a journey through heartbreak, identity collapse, and finally, soul-level resurrection. Dr. Amen Kaur shares her own fall—from boardroom success to spiritual breakdown—and how that fall became the seed of a new becoming.

You’ll learn:

• Why the obsession doesn’t stop after you leave (and how to dissolve it)
• The neuroscience of trauma bonding and emotional loops
• The spiritual turning point where you choose to become better, not bitter
• How healing goes beyond therapy—and into your body, your beliefs, and your presence
• Why reclaiming your power is the doorway to purpose, prosperity, and peace

If you’ve ever felt like no one understands the aftershock of leaving a toxic relationship—this episode will feel like coming home.

💫 Call to Action:

🔥 Ready to rise into your next chapter of power and prosperity? Book in a 1-1 link above and below in resources to join my 12-week live immersion starting June 16.

 🙏 And to everyone who’s listened and walked this path with me—thank you. You are my why.

You’re not broken. You’re becoming. And the version of you that’s rising? It's You Being You - Its easy and You're unstoppable.
Sending you so much love. Till next time. 💫

Chapters

• 0:00 Healing From Toxic Relationships
• 2:45 My Personal Journey and Background
• 4:51 Breaking Down and Finding Strength
• 7:13 Becoming Better Instead of Bitter
• 9:32 Birth of a New Purpose
• 12:25 Announcing a Pivot and New Program

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome. It's Dr Emancourt, and today I'm going to be speaking to you from a deep space and I'm really opening up to you. Someone recently asked me a question about what does it feel like to heal from a toxic relationship and my honest answer was that it feels like a distant memory. It doesn't feel real and it feels like they are so irrelevant. And it's. Everything about narcissism is irrelevant in your life now. Not the lessons the lessons were really important to who you become but it's them, the narcissist the pain, the noise, the loops, everything it feels like it was just a lot of noise and that you see through it and it's just so irrelevant, like a movie that you watched years ago and you have to take time to remember because you've moved on from it so much. Because the real healing isn't leaving the toxic person, it's leaving behind the part of you that felt connected to them, like deeply connected to them. Like deeply connected to them, I would say sometimes people talk about when you get divorced. You're more connected to them than when you were married to them, because you're thinking about them, talking about them, doing everything about them, and I think when you've got a narcissistic relationship or you had a narcissistic relationship. It's like you're so deeply connected. Many of you might know me as the voice behind the toxic relationship detox, but what you may not know is that I've always been in love with people's potential.

Speaker 1: 2:03

I grew up in a working class town in England. I'm a daughter of immigrant parents who've worked tirelessly. They're still, you know, contributing to the community even as we speak, in their late 70s and 80s. I wasn't considered clever at school, even though you might think, oh my gosh, she must be so clever. In fact, I didn't even know I had dyslexia until after my PhD. I was like, oh, let me just do this test, I wonder if I do have it. But from 16, I was obsessed with understanding the mind and seeing people rise beyond their circumstances. Maybe because of the circumstances that I grew up in, I was around people that were struggling. Some of my friends got pregnant at school. They were looking at how to start their lives etc at such a young age and I just really was interested in people exceeding their circumstances, exceeding their limitations and building extraordinary lives from what you call ordinary beginnings. But that fall became my awakening, if you like, even with all these mindset tools, and I honestly I was really into the positive mindset stuff.

Speaker 1: 3:31

I found myself in a toxic relationship and at that point I had made it to becoming a partner of a FTSE 250 company, and the reason why I was a partner of a 50-250 company was because I excelled at business development, and the way I excelled at business development was through helping people excel in their achieving their goals. So I was focused on building the business, but through, like, helping people look at their strengths, because I had dyslexia, but there was something. Unconsciously, I knew that even with all the things that hold you back, even with all our flaws, even with all my flaws, if we focused on our strengths, we could overcome those flaws through our strengths. So, yes, we've all got things our strengths. So, yes, we've all got things we're not good at, but we've all got things that we're really good at. And if we focus on the things that we're good at, though, I found a way up there.

Speaker 1: 4:51

I literally it was the crumbling of me. It broke me down. I was broken. I was totally broken. That relationship brought me down to my knees and I became someone I didn't know anymore. I was so obsessed, so powerless. The injustice broke me and the lies and all that rubbish that they do. I became bitter. I am going to be honest. I became bitter and I remember because I was still quite into healing etc and the positive mindset. I can't quite into healing etc and the positive mindset.

Speaker 1: 5:26

I can't remember the gentleman, but there was something he said and I kept repeating it over and over in my head Aman, you either become bitter or you become better. Every time I'd catch myself obsessing, annoyed, and I'd do this whole thing of talking to myself and explaining and proving and going over it in my head. And if I said this and I could imagine myself having arguments and all the people, all this fake family that was, you know, around him, supporting him, enabling him, I would imagine myself talking to these people that were so cool, good, decent people and I would go over it and think this is wrong. When you know something is so wrong and no one is acknowledging it, it's like it takes you over and you become bitter. It's like a poison that slowly takes over and takes over in your life. And until that one day where I realised I didn't want to be a reaction to someone else's dysfunction, I didn't want this to be me anymore, because I knew he could destroy me.

Speaker 1: 6:46

Even though I was out and I was fighting and I was speaking that all that, I was becoming bitter and I lost myself. I completely lost myself and I wanted to be able to reclaim my truth. I wanted to become better rather than bitter. It genuinely hit me and that's where my journey into really understanding what was happening started. Like I knew, talk therapy wasn't working, tried it and I was like there's no results. You've got to remember I was very results driven, hence why I became a part of a FTSE 250 company.

Speaker 1: 7:24

You can't get to that level unless you're results driven. So I was like, hey, I'm doing this work, but there's no results, so this can't be working. That's where I really started looking into the science of the brain, the body, the trauma, the programming. There's some real science in there, but at the same time, I am incredibly spiritual. So I was picking up every spiritual book that you can imagine, like I'm reading the bible, I'm reading this, I'm reading, I'm learning about buddhism, I'm learning about the bhagavad-gita, like looking at the ascended masters, understanding as well as looking at the science.

Speaker 1: 8:06

And then, as I healed, not with perfection, but with more and more presence I started to remember who I was before the hurt happened and, interestingly, this is what's so amazing that healing, that wanting to become better rather than bitter. It was really weird, like I never wanted to start this business of healing people from toxic relationships. It wasn't on my agenda. People started coming to me at my kids school playground I mean, can you believe it? At the playground, and the first person and I was just helping some friends, some other mums that were struggling and talking to them and before I knew it, one lady gave me 20 pounds. She was like I want to take you out for breakfast, I want to help you. And I was like why? And I have her 20 pound with the post-it note framed. It's like, oh, wow, this is amazing. Maybe I can be paid for this, Maybe this is my new thing and I still have it. I'm not spending that 20 pound because it's the start, it's the seed of a new beginning and she's an angel because she started something new for me.

Speaker 1: 9:32

And the more I came home to myself, the more my clients started coming and the more my and this is where I started this podcast more clients started to begin rising too. They started they weren't just leaving toxic relationships, they were doubling their income some of the clients I work with. They were starting purpose-led businesses. They were finally letting go of their guilt and their shame and really embodying what it means to embody self-love letting go of the emotional resistance, start seeing their sideline businesses do better. They were living lives where they started to feel like they had more power. That's when I knew this isn't about the narcissist anymore, this is about you. This is about you. It's like you coming home to yourself. It's like you coming home to you and realizing, hey, this feels really, really good.

Speaker 1: 10:41

So today I'm announcing a shift. I am pivoting from toxic relationship detox and it's something that I have been mulling over for more than a year. It's probably been 18 months. I'm not gonna lie. I love my clients, I love what I do. I love my clients. I love what I do. I love this with all my heart. But I also know that I'm stepping into something like a deeper level that's even more focused on the truth of who you are.

Speaker 1: 11:21

This podcast will be renamed soon, but I don't know what that name is going to be at this stage. So if you've got some ideas, let me know. It's still going to be rooted in self-love, but it's going to be expanded to include power, purpose, prosperity, presence, purpose, prosperity, presence All the things that I think were the root of why I ended up in a toxic relationship and why a lot of my clients ended up in toxic relationships was because their relationship to power, to their purpose, to their prosperity, to own and receive their money, wealth and to receive being present, to be fully being present and having their presence and allowing them to release the trauma around all those areas, because healing isn't just about ending the pain. It's really about beginning your life, the life that you were born from. As you heal from this, it's going to seed something new, and maybe that will become a new seed to something else. And so here's the invitation if this resonates, if you're ready to claim your life beyond trauma, beyond survival, and you want to rise in your power, I invite you to join me.

Speaker 1: 12:55

I am starting a new 12-week program. It begins on June, the 16th. This is my first announcement of this and it's for those people that are high performing, spiritually aware, who are ready to release the shame and heal their nervous system so they can receive everything that they once thought was out of their reach. You can book in a one-to-one with me. There's going to be limited spaces. This will be deep, real and sacred. It's going to be a sacred space.

Speaker 1: 13:39

And if you have any new ideas for the new name of the podcast, send them in text me. This space is evolving. And to everyone that's supported me on this podcast, all those messages oh my gosh, I feel like I'm going to cry the messages that you've left me where you've said, oh, you helped me, I've finally left my partner, or you've helped me so much. You've helped me, you've helped me so much. Thank you, so much. You've kept me going. And for now, it's time for us to go further together and I'm sending you love, freedom, and remember you are not broken. You are becoming, and this season of your life will be forgotten to the point where you want to move on because something deeper is calling you, sending you so, so, so much love Till next time.