The One Skill Successful People Master (It’s NOT Charisma)

Unlocking Success: Breaking Free from People Pleasing & Embracing Soul-Led Power

What if the silent saboteur of your success isn’t your mindset, strategy, or skillset—but something far more primal? In this transformative episode of Soul-Led CEO: Purpose Powered Success, Amen Kaur explores how people pleasing—a trauma response rooted in your nervous system—may be the very thing holding you back from the life and success you desire.

Discover why mindset work alone often falls short and how your vagus nerve, the biological guardian of your safety, may be pulling the emergency brake whenever success feels threatening to your social bonds. Amen unpacks the subtle dynamics of indirect aggression, generational trauma, and the insatiable need for validation, offering practical tools to help you release what’s not yours and reclaim your power.

The most successful people aren’t necessarily more talented—they’ve simply mastered the ability to feel safe even when disliked. This episode is your permission slip to stop betraying yourself for approval, transmute fear into embodied power, and step into a new paradigm of purpose-driven, heart-centered leadership.

You are not broken. You are awakening. Every time you choose courage over compliance and presence over people pleasing, you create new possibilities for yourself and the world.

Share this with someone who also needs to step forward—because the world needs your light, your truth, and your soul-led brilliance. It starts now.

Chapters

• 0:00 People Pleasing: The Hidden Success Blocker
• 1:37 Trauma Response in Your Nervous System
• 5:45 Indirect Aggression and Self-Doubt
• 8:10 Breaking Generational Trauma Patterns
• 10:09 Awakening to Your True Power

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

What if the one thing that was keeping you from success wasn't this mindset, or your skill set, or even your strategy? What if it's something deeper, something ancient, even something you've been carrying for years, and maybe even lifetimes, without even realizing it? Let's talk about drumroll people pleasing. Let's talk about drumroll people pleasing that insatiable need to be liked, to stay good, or to be good, or to be seen as good, to be able to stay safe. What if the people that you admire the only thing that they're doing that you're not doing is not caring what other people think about them. They're not afraid to be disliked, and that is the only difference between someone that you're scrolling through and seeing on social media that's actually achieving what you want to achieve. Maybe that's the only difference, and today we're going to go there.

Speaker 1: 1:01

This episode is personal. We're going to go there. This episode is personal, it's going to be direct and it's designed to liberate a part of you that's been playing small, not because you want to I know that you don't want to play small but because your nervous system has learned it's safer that way and you don't know how to override it. So let's start with your body first, not your mind, because your mindset can only get you that far, but if your nervous system still thinks success equals danger, then your body won't allow you. It's like it's going to keep pulling the emergency brakes and you won't understand why you're not doing what you should be doing, or why you're procrastinating, or why you feel fear. So let's just take a moment just now to take a deep breath in and out, and take another deep breath in place your hand over your heart and whisper I am safe and I don't have to betray myself anymore. I can choose me. If you know that there's more for you to do, feel that in your bones. You just know.

Speaker 1: 2:23

But there's something that keeps holding you back. Maybe it's that you don't know what to do, or maybe you keep saying I don't have time. Deep down, you already know what's keeping you stuck. It's a trauma pattern. It's maybe fear. Maybe you've been living behind an invisible wall of feeling safe where you are and it feels scary. Or you feel like you don't have the energy to be able to move forward and you're just watching life go by instead of allowing yourself to lead it. And you know that you want to, but you feel the frustration and there's that ache in your chest. Sometimes it's not, it's power. It's trying to wake you up because it keeps nudging at you. You might say I don't have time and it's not the right time, I don't have the energy or I need more training or that certification. But the deeper truth is something is whispering to you, andini. I'm scared that maybe people will reject me or maybe people won't like me if I shine.

Speaker 1: 3:30

What successful people know that maybe you weren't taught or maybe you forgot. They aren't necessarily more talented and most of them, if you actually watch them, they will say that I'm not talented. They're just less attached to being liked and they aren't addicted or they don't need that validation for safety. So they don't leak energy trying to win people over or people please or think about others all the time. They have one thing that most people avoid or dislike it's like they don't have the. They feel safe even if someone dislikes them. Let's call it what it is People pleasing is actually a trauma response.

Speaker 1: 4:13

It's not that there's something wrong with you or that you shouldn't care. It's actually a trauma response and sometimes it can generate feelings of guilt and shame. It's actually a nervous system attempt to stay bonded, to stay connected to other people, even if it means betraying ourself. It's like a safety mechanism and science backs this up your vagus nerve. This is the system that governs your safety, your safety. It will override ambition, success, anything to feel that belonging if it feels at risk for its safety.

Speaker 1: 4:49

So, even if you want to succeed, if your nervous system feels like there's a threat, it will keep you small. You will self-silence yourself, you won't be able to use your voice. You'll say things like I don't know what to talk about. You want to make everyone feel comfortable. You want to make sure that nobody feels upset. All the while, you're grieving in secret and you're losing yourself. The world might call it humble or nice, but let's look at it this soul suppression where you're abandoning your power to avoid being abandoned externally, so you're abandoning yourself internally. Over time, you're losing trust in your inner voice. You're losing trust and belief in yourself. And let's go even deeper. What if people pleasing isn't just a trauma pattern, but it's a response to something even more covert, something invisible but calculated?

Speaker 1: 5:47

I'm talking about indirect aggression. It's the kind of subtle control that doesn't even look like bullying but slowly isolates you from your own power. It's not always loud, it's not name calling. It's not screaming. It could be that eye roll that makes you second-guess yourself. It could be that accidental exclusion from the group text. It could be that compliment and here's the part that no one tells you. Anyone a parent, a friend, a co -worker can wield this sort of power. It can be even someone that works for you, and it thrives in the silence of your self-doubt.

Speaker 1: 6:29

Research shows that indirect aggression targets your social safety wiring. It manipulates perception, not logic. So you start wondering am I being too sensitive? Am I imagining this? Should I try harder to be light? Everybody else is excluding me. That's the grey zone where your intuition is screaming. Everybody else is saying it's not that deep, and yet your body is shutting down and you're losing confidence and you're draining energy day by day.

Speaker 1: 7:03

If you sense something is off and you speak up kindly and suddenly you're the problem that you're told you're overreacting, too much, too intense. That's not an accident. That's called retaliatory humiliation. It's a real studied tactic where the aggressor flips the script. And we know a little bit about Davo as well. You know what narcissists do, and they do it to actually make you look like the unstable one. So hear me, you are not the problem. You are the mirror, and mirrors are threatening to those who built their worth on controlling others. You don't need to fight, you don't need to over explain, you need to anchor in your truth. This kind of dynamic dissolves not through confrontation but through clarity. You calibrate your field, you create environments that reflect your worth and you stop playing games where you never agreed to play and you stop seeking validation from people.

Speaker 1: 8:10

Before we close, let's widen the lens even more. Maybe you've seen a parent mistreat a child. Maybe it was subtle, maybe it was loud, maybe it happened in your home or someone else's. The truth is we've all seen it. The moment the child gets shamed, dismissed, emotionally crushed, and you know that the adult isn't evil, they're just reacting. And maybe they are, they're not regulating.

Speaker 1: 8:37

In that moment, what is the real reason? We can all sit and judge and other parents and say, oh, they should have done this and they should have done that. But what is the real cause to it? Trauma, conditioning, unprocessed pain. And when pain goes unhealed, it doesn't disappear, it transfers, and that's why there's still generational trauma that we're dealing with, but because they were never taught how to stop that trauma or to heal that trauma. That much we have to agree. If we can look at life and say, okay, well, why is it that? If we didn't need to heal trauma, why is it that people aren't treating everybody in a respectful manner, in a kind manner, with love?

Speaker 1: 9:21

The most powerful thing you can do not fix yourself is to release what's not yours. It's not about keep talking about what you're doing and trying to change your behavior, because the truth is, when you're reacting, you don't think you do. It's about releasing what's not yours Grieve what you never had Love, the version of you that had to survive, whatever it is that you had to, maybe without what it is that you didn't have, maybe the love you didn't have, and choose to interrupt the generational patterns and let it end with you. Let me leave you with this You're not behind. You're 100% not broken. You're awakening.

Speaker 1: 10:05

If you're listening to this and maybe you've been stuck in survival mode, always seeking approval, always people pleasing, holding yourself back just in case, always trying to contort yourself and your light. But right now is the time to break free. Things are changing. We need you to step into your power and to be the greatest version of yourself. We all need it. The world needs you Every time you choose your truth over performance or validation, courage over compliance, presence over people pleasing, you're collapsing the timelines of pain and you're creating a new world.

Speaker 1: 10:46

That's how we step into this higher frequency. And if you're ready to go deeper and you want to regulate your nervous system and you want to release your trauma and you want to anchor in your truth and fulfill your purpose and build success that holds you and your future generations, then book in a one-to-one discovery session with me and let's uncover the patterns that are ready to be released, that are not yours, and remember who you truly are beneath that people pleasing. Please do subscribe, like and comment on this video. I really appreciate your support, sending you so much love Till next time.