Why You Know So Much Yet Can't Move Forward

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You have done the coaching, the therapy. Read the books. Done the mindset work. You know your patterns better than anyone.

And you are still stuck.

This is the episode that explains why. And it is not what you think.

In this episode Dr. Amen Kaur - Human Intelligence Architect and founder of BEYOND - breaks down the real reason so many driven, self-aware women cannot move forward no matter what they try. Drawing on the research of Dr Bessel van der Kolk, Dr Joe Dispenza, Professor Stephen Porges and Dr Peter Levine -she explains why the answer is not in your mindset, not in your strategy, and not in anything your thinking mind can reach.

You will discover:

• Why Dr Bessel van der Kolk's research shows your patterns are stored in your body —-not your mind
• Why Dr Joe Dispenza says 95% of who you are by 35 is unconscious programming your thinking mind cannot override
• Why nervous system regulation - the work of Professor Stephen Porges - is the missing piece every coach and therapist has skipped
• The one shift that changes everything  and what you can do today

This episode is for you if you have ever thought - I know exactly what I need to do. I just cannot make myself do it.

You are not the problem. And this episode will show you why.

Subscribe to BEYOND - Because You've Outgrown Who You Were - with Dr. Amen Kaur.

Topics: nervous system regulation, behaviour change, self sabotage, stuck patterns, identity transformation, women leadership, human intelligence, body stores trauma, why therapy isn't enough, mindset not enough, Dr Bessel van der Kolk, Dr Joe Dispenza, Stephen Porges, Peter Levine, somatic healing, success ceiling, women success

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If you’ve been feeling stuck, overthinking, or ready for a calmer, more confident way to grow — I have a free masterclass for you.

It’s called “How to Reset Your Biology for Calm, Confident Success — Even If You’ve Faced Setbacks.”

You’ll learn how to release survival stress, regulate your nervous system, and grow from safety, not struggle.

🎁 Watch it free here → www.amenkaur.com/masterclass

Because you can only grow as far as your body feels safe to go — and it’s time to start again from calm, clarity, and connection. 🌸

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🧠 Best For: Transformation, Empowerment, self-help, confidence, mindset, healing, identity transformation, psychology-based growth, neurobiology, success without burnout.

⚖️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace professional advice.

If engaging in guided practices, ensure you’re in a safe, grounded space.
By listening, you accept full responsibility for how you use this information.

Transcript

Episode For The Capable Yet Stuck

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You're someone that gets things done, you're hard working, and you've built success through capability, you're capable, you're competent, and you've got a strong will. And you keep hitting this ceiling that you can't seem to break through. I understand it's really frustrating. But I just want you to know this this episode is for you. I work with high achieving women who've tried everything. Therapy, coaching, mindset work, business strategy. They are intelligent, they're capable, they're driven. And they keep hitting this same wall where they might feel stuck, lost, like they can't move forward, or they don't know what they want to do anymore. This is one of the most common things I hear. I know exactly what I need to do, or I know what I should do, and I still cannot make myself do it. And then feeling as if they must be the problem, that there is a problem with them. I just want to make this clear. They are not the problem. They never have been. Most of them nearly gave up. They would have kept reading, but deep, deep down, they would have had this thing that nothing can help me, nothing can work. Because when you've tried coaching, therapy, you've read a lot, and you've usually been able to solve things by yourself and you're the problem solver, then you can only think that, oh, maybe there is no way of solving this. But they didn't give up. And I'm so glad they didn't because what shifted everything for them wasn't more effort, more trying, more willpower, not more strategy. It was actually understanding this one thing, one thing that nobody had ever explained to them before. And I really want to explain this to you. Today I'm going to share that with you. Because once you understand it, you will never look at yourself in the same way. And more importantly, you will finally know what you need to do to move forward, to become that version of yourself you know that you're waiting to be. When you know your patterns through your mind. And that part of your mind has moved on. It's like, I know this is the problem, and this is what I need to do to fix it. So your mind is already gone. It's already fixed it. But if you know what your patterns are and you can't change, let's look at what that part is that can't change is the body. The brain is part of the body, its loyalty is to the body, and your brain's whole purpose is to protect your body. So your system is operating from two systems simultaneously, the mind and the body. And there's so much research on this, and we'll go into that research in a moment. But let's really look at what that can feel like inside of you. It's exhausting. It's so exhausting. It's like your mind is overthinking because if you're a problem solver and you're analytical and you're smart, your mind is trying to fix the problem and it's going over it and trying to find out all these connections, etc. Okay, I know what my problem is. Because you think, okay, if I understand my problem, I'll be able to move on from it. But then you get to a point where I know so much, but nothing is changing. I'm not able to move forward like I used to. So obviously, we're going to feel exhausted. We're going to be going round and round in your head. So you feel like you're overthinking, like you just can't get any peace, but you're not actually moving forward in reality. Or sometimes you might feel like you're procrastinating, you're not doing anything, you're watching loads of people move forward, but you feel like you're slipping behind. We've been taught that change happens inside the mind. That if you think differently, you believe differently, that you'll be able to move differently. So please don't hold it against yourself that you've been doing all this work, all this reading, all this learning, or maybe getting that mindset coach, looking at strategy at work, but actually you're not able to execute. And this is something that happens at work all the time. So if you're a leader in the workplace, and I used to see this all the time, people would know what to do. For instance, they had their KPIs, they had the training, but they wouldn't be able to execute. It's because of this. It's not so much they don't know what to do. It's like there's a block to actually doing it because they don't believe they can do it. They've got a label of I'm not good enough or something like that that's holding their body back. But the truth is, the research tells us, even though we've been taught for years that everything happens in the mind, that it's completely different. We feel everything in our body first. The body is where it all lives. So let's look at the research. Research from Columbia University shows that our habitual patterns are stored in a part of the brain, just below conscious thought, called the basal ganglia, your thinking mind. No matter how intelligent or how self-aware and how brilliant it is, has very limited access to this, where your patterns are stored. You literally cannot think your way out of a pattern that's stored there. It needs a completely different approach. Let's look at some other research. And the two competing systems, when you're feeling like I know what to do, or I used to be so motivated and now I can't move forward. Scientists publish research showing that our brain runs two competing systems at the same time. That's why it can feel like you've got you're actually at war with yourself sometimes. It's like, why am I not doing this? And you get frustrated and almost angry at yourself. One automatically repeats old patterns, that's one system, and one that sets goals and makes plans. So there's two competing systems in your brain. When these are not in alignment, your experience is exactly what my clients describe. You know what you want, you plan it, you are unable to execute it. For instance, you might know that you want to start a business, but you plan it, you're stuck in that planning, but you're not executing because your system is fighting itself. And that fight is exhausting. Basil van der Koog. He's one of the world's leading researchers on how the body holds our experiences. He's really trying to help humanity understand how they truly can move forward from difficult experiences that might have happened. And he spent decades studying why people who understand themselves completely cannot change. They're out of difficult situations, like traumatic situations, but they can't still change. And this applies for us as well, because most of us, even though we might be in a job or starting to build our business, might be in a leadership role, we have been taught that everything is in our mind, but actually the latest research tells us we feel it in our body as well. And sometimes we're told to just completely ignore that body. Dr.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Bans Basil Vanderkohl that he said something in this recent clip, he said something that was so simple, but it stopped me completely.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

He said, You are not angry, you have an angry body. Sit with that for a moment. You are not angry, you have an angry body. And when I heard that, this is a way I can explain this concept. Because if you're someone who's trying to move forward, trying to build the next level of success, you know you've got potential, but you feel stuck, you feel lost, you feel like you don't know what it is that you want to do. And you're trying to lead with more authority or confidence, you feel like you've lost your confidence. You're not demotivated, you have a demotivated body. That's the truth. Because your mind wants to motivate you. You're probably doing things like listening to podcasts that help you get motivated, but you might have a moment of doing something. But because you have a demotivated body, you can't sustain it. You might feel like you're stuck, but the truth is you are not stuck. You have a stuck body. You may know what you could do, you can think about it, you know what the potentials are, but you can't do it, and then you get frustrated. You're not lacking confidence. You have a body that learned that confidence isn't safe. So for instance, if you're at work and then now, because of something that's happened, maybe in your private life, or maybe at work, maybe you've got a toxic boss, or something's happened. You're not lacking confidence. Your body has learned that confidence was not safe. This is really important, and this is what I really want to get across. We sometimes give our labels like I am depressed or I am feeling sad, but that's not who you are. You're not your emotion. Your body has learned to protect you. It's trying to protect you from pain. Your brain's primary goal is to protect your body. So if you're not able to move forward and your mind is telling you, I really want to go for this goal, but you feel tired just at the thought of it, that's your brain and your body working together to protect your body, not your mind. Here's why we can understand why you can have a therapist, you can have a counselor, you can have a mind coach, a business coach, or mentor, you can have read all these books and you could have so much knowledge and you can have the most incredible problem-solving mind, and nothing is changing for you. Yet you can help everyone else around you for your mind. And it can feel really bad because we can start to fundamentally start believing, hey, there must be something wrong with me because I know so much, but I can't seem to be able to do it for myself. What is really truly happening is that we're not in alignment. That's all the problem is with our body. It's not that there's something wrong with you, it's just that your body isn't aligned with what it is that your mind wants. And they're working not together, they're working out of alignment. The mind ultimately, even though we've been taught all of this, that you know, mind over matter and all this stuff, the mind cannot control the body. This is research, okay? And you might be someone that's maybe studied affirmations or manifestations. And even in that, your mind cannot control the manifestation. Because you have to feel the manifestation in your body. That's what lots of manifestation gurus are now saying, that you have to feel it, you can't just think it. And let's look at the research on why that is true.

unknown 12:27

Dr.

Motivation As A Bodily State

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Basil van de Koelk's research shows that experiences are not just stored as memories, they are stored as physiological patterns in the body. The body keeps running the program, whether the mind agrees or not. Then we can look at Professor Stephen Porge's work, which is also highly renowned, and he did his work at the University of North Carolina. He shows that your nervous system scans for threats constantly and responds before your conscious mind can intervene. By the time you're aware of something happening, your system has already made the decision, as in your body. It's made it whether you're conscious of it or not. So your mind can think things, but unless your body is aligned to it, it's not going to help you move forward. There's also Dr. Peter Levine's work that showed that when a protective response gets suppressed, the energy stays trapped. The body keeps bracing for that threat long after it's gone. There's two ways of doing things. There's the old way is something happens at work, you numb, you pretend you're okay, you suppress, and you move forward. And you're that energy of confusion and self-doubt and overwhelm goes forward with you. Or there's a new way, which is you can regulate, you can align yourself to what it is that you want consciously, and then move forward, feeling free. The problem isn't you. The problem is that every approach that you've ever tried has been working at the level of the mind. Adding new beliefs, new strategies, new thinking on top of a body that is still running an old program. Think of it like an old identity that keeps popping up. It's physiological, it's actually in your body. And that is why nothing has shifted fully yet. Okay, yet. We're gonna look at how you can do it. Let's think back to when you've been motivated to do something, like really motivated, and maybe it's been a long time ago. Maybe you've got the golden handcuffs where you're working and you're earning money, but your soul's not in it and it's not really motivated. But think back for when you first started. Or may when you felt motivated and you felt like so excited about life, you're gonna prove yourself maybe in your 20s, and just remember how it feels to really be motivated, like you want something.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Just remember with me. Do that for a moment when you were really on fire about something a moment when you knew I I'm gonna do this, I'm determined. Do you have it? Now I want you to think about it. Just think about it, you know, when how it was in your body and feel it.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

How you felt at that time. And where do you feel it in your body? Is it in your chest, is it in your stomach, is it in your throat, is it in your hands? And it might be that a feeling comes up that kind of goes, hey, oh, that's how I used to be, and I feel sad, that's gone. Okay, don't worry, that's okay. But just go back to that feeling again. Say, I understand it it did feel sad, it does feel sad that I've lost that. Just let that aliveness come back, that determination. It's not in your mind, is it? It's in your body. This is what motivation is. It's a bodily state. It's not a thought. You don't get motivated by thinking about something, by planning something. You get motivated about a bodily state.

unknown 16:37

Dr.

Ask What Your Body Feels

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SPEAKER_01 16:38

Joe Dispenser, whose work explores the neuroscience of personal transformation, puts it in this way. By the time we are 35, 95% of who we are is set in programs. We've practiced so many times we're not consciously thinking about them anymore. He says that thoughts are the language of the brain, but feelings are the language of the body, and your body is speaking a language your mind has been trying to override for years. And that's exhausting. And it doesn't work. Our experiences come, they are experienced in our body. All of our memories, all of our emotional reactions are stored in the body in a physical and chemical form. Yeah. We know that through research of how our body reacts, it creates chemicals. And alignment between mind and body is not optional anymore. It really isn't. It is everything. And if you think about why this is so important, especially in today's world of AI, if you're someone that heavily relies on cognition and you've been brilliant, you really need to get your body online because cognition alone is going to be not something that can help you move forward in the future. We have to understand that AI is here. And AI's ability for cognition is going to be so much better than a human being's. So hence why your intelligence, your human intelligence, is going to be so much more important. Now you know you're not stuck. You have a stuck body. And a stuck body can change. You don't have to drag it along. It can be motivated to move along with you. So you're not demotivated, you've got a demotivated body, and it can be trained. Just like you go to the gym, it can be trained. So you're not broken, you know that. You have systems that have learned to protect you. Your body can be upgraded. So we can do this. The first step, and this is something that you can do today. We don't want to train your body to believe that there is something wrong with you. So the next time you notice yourself feeling stuck, demotivated, frustrated at yourself, and able to act, and you find yourself asking or thinking on a subconscious level, there's something wrong with me. I want you to ask something instead. What is my body experiencing right now? Because you might be numb to it, because you focus on the thinking. Because you are not stuck, you have a stuck body, and a body can change. So you want to start with, hey, let me ask the question, what is my body experiencing right now? And that shift in the question is the beginning of everything. Because you cannot go beyond something you cannot see, you cannot be aware of. This is where you start to focus more on your body. And then from there, you can start connecting with oh, I really do have a stuck body, and that's what I need to shift and change. That's the beginning part of your forever alignment so that you can move forward. And if you've heard something in today's podcast that's resonated, I want to invite you to subscribe to this podcast because we're in a moment of transition. This podcast is going to be getting a new name because the work that I do has evolved so much. And what I'm doing now is bigger than where we started. Because it's not just about moving out of toxic relationships, it's actually about moving forward and beyond. So if you want to subscribe now so you don't miss out on what's coming, and if this episode gave you something, like a bit of relief, share it with someone in your life that's been hitting a ceiling who keeps trying and cannot understand why. Nothing is shifting. That share costs you nothing and it might change everything for her. She might feel relief or understanding or compassion for herself. And if you're looking to help your body move forward, I'm Dr. Emman Cor. I'm a human intelligence architect and the founder of a program called Beyond, a 16-week program that works exactly at the level we talked about today, the body, the operating system. So it aligns with the mind, where the real change actually lives. And if you're interested in knowing more, then I have a free masterclass. The link is in the show notes. And I'll just leave this one thought with you. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is bring understanding, compassion, and love to ourselves for where we are and understanding what our body has been through in terms of all the experiences it's been through. Because it's really powerful to care for ourselves in today's world where there's so much uncertainty. So take a moment today to do that for yourself, to appreciate yourself. And in the meantime, I'm sending you so much love. Till next time.