189. We Didn't Plan For This: Dad's Chili

My Dad’s Chili 

What reminds you of the people you love? For some, it’s a song. A photograph. A place. A favorite recipe. For Adrienne’s daughter Mallory, it was her Dad’s chili.

In this special episode, Mallory shares her college admissions essay she wrote after losing her dad halfway through her junior year of high school. Through one simple memory, she captures what grief feels like, how life changes after loss, and the unexpected ways the people we love continue to shape us long after they’re gone.

This isn’t just a story about losing a father.

It’s a story about the constants we inherit from the people who loved us—their values, their laughter, their traditions, and the pieces of them we carry forward every day.

Whether you’re grieving someone you love or simply cherishing the people who are still here, we hope this episode reminds you that love doesn’t disappear.

Sometimes it lives in the smallest things.

Sometimes… it lives in a bowl of chili.

When you’re missing someone you love, press play.

For those who have reached out asking how to support Adrienne and her family during this time, click here to donate. There is absolutely no expectation—just sincere gratitude.

We Didn't Plan For This Special Series

This series exists because so many of you reached out and said, “I didn’t plan for this either.”

If you’ve gone through a diagnosis, a loss, a life change, a career shift, a divorce, becoming a caregiver, moving, starting over — we want to hear your story.

EMAIL US: WDPFTPodcast@gmail.com

You don’t have to have it figured out. You just have to be willing to share honestly.

How Yoga Changed My Life a Podcast

Send Us Your Stories!

If you have a story about how yoga, meditation, breath work, journaling, or movement changed your life, we want to hear from you! 

These podcasts are really about the same thing — how people move through the seasons of life they didn’t plan for, and what helps them along the way.

If you’d like to be on the show or share your story:  Fill out our guest form or email us at yogachanged@gmail.com 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to We Didn't Plan for This, a special series from how yoga changed my life. Normally on the podcast, we talk about practices like movement, breath work, and meditation and how they've changed people's lives. But this series, it's different. It's about the moments that shift everything, the seasons you didn't see coming, and how we keep showing up anyway. And if something here resonates with you, follow our show, share it with someone who might need it, or send us a message. Because the truth is, we didn't plan for this. But we're here. Hi, this is Adrian. Welcome back to another episode of We Didn't Plan for This. When people lose something they love, we spend a lot of time talking about the person who died. But we don't nearly spend enough time listening to the people who are left behind. Today's episode is different. This isn't my story. This is my daughter Mallory's. She wrote these words as part of a college admissions essay. And when I read them, I asked her if I could share them here. Because I think what she wrote says something so many grieving families struggle to put into words. It's about losing her dad. It's about grieving. It's also about chili. And it's about the unexpected ways the people we love stay with us. This is from Mallory. Most people have a constant in their lives, whether that's their favorite food, favorite song, or a family member. A constant is something that becomes built into your life through habits and traditions. For me, it was my family. My sister and I used to be reminded all throughout our childhood that friends come and go, but family is forever. I never really thought about that until one of my constants was stripped out of my everyday life. That constant was my dad. When I was a kid, I was the least picky eater ever. However, there was one thing that I couldn't stand: chili. My dad encouraged me to just give it a try. And after refusing for 30 minutes straight, I finally tried it. And what do you know? It became one of my favorite foods. I didn't just like chili. I only liked my dad's chili. And it wasn't the ingredients or the taste, but it was the process. The daunting five hours that it sits in the crock pot was always worth it. That is the beauty of life. Hard work, dedication, long days, and no matter what, it was worth it. To feel proud of yourself, to accomplish the impossible, to tell them how you feel, or just getting out of bed in the morning, those feelings are constant. After my dad died, halfway through my junior year, everything changed. I had never had to grieve before, never had to comfort my freshly widowed mother, never had to do the dad chores, but those things became constants. After being in the hospital for three days with my dad, I came home and opened the fridge to see leftover chili. As simple as it was, it put my life into perspective. Grief isn't about dealing with your feelings and trying to be happy. I turned it into remembering and cherishing the best moments we had. Staring at that ziploc of weak old chili, I realized he wasn't gone. His heart, his accomplishments, his jokes, and his leadership were all constants that he left for me. So on hard days and long nights, I'm lucky to have a bowl of my dad's chili constantly in my heart. Thanks, Mallory. Thank you for letting me share your words. As your mom, I couldn't be prouder of the young woman you're becoming. Not because of what you've survived, but because of the way you've chosen to make meaning from it. I think every one of us has something that reminds us of someone we lost. Maybe it's a recipe, a song, a place, a smell. Something so ordinary that it somehow carries an extraordinary amount of love. If you've lost someone, I hope today's episode reminds you that grief doesn't only live in the moments they're missing. Sometimes it lives in the constants they left behind. We didn't plan for this. But we're here. And for now, that's enough. Thank you for listening. If this conversation meant something to you, share it with someone who might need it too, or reach out and tell us what landed with you at yoga changed on Instagram. And before you go, take a breath. Take a breath, take a second. You don't have to have everything figured out right now. We didn't plan for this. But we're here.