Episode 22: Lee Wells | The Curse of Comparison

Lee Wells discusses the curse of comparison in the business world, sharing personal experiences and insights. He reflects on a recent motivational event that left him feeling discouraged and emphasizes the importance of gratitude and perspective in avoiding comparison. Finally, he encourages listeners to focus on their own journey and avoid being paralyzed or discouraged by comparing themselves to others.

Transcript

  Welcome to the ranch and table podcast,  where we discuss all things related to our Texas ranch and  our ranch to table restaurant located in downtown Rockwall.  I'm your host, Lee Wells. Hello, and  welcome to another episode of the ranch and table podcast. I'm Lee Wells, and I want to talk to you today on a subject that I don't think gets talked about very much especially in the business world.

And I want to talk to you today about the curse of comparison.  And before I get started, this episode is brought to you by our friends at Sterling Tea. They are true professionals in the tea business. creating over 200 different blends and flavors and serving hundreds of businesses around the country.

They are the best and they only provide the best teas in the world. We partnered with them for years and we will continue to do they have extended a generous discount. As 20 percent off. Their entire order just use the wells 20 at checkout sterling t. com And so before I begin in my talk today, I want to just remind you again, if you could go on to YouTube and find the ranch and table podcast and hit the subscribe button for us.

This is going to set us up because we are about to make a change in our podcast host, and I would hate to lose contact with anyone. If you would, if you're a regular listener, or if you're just listening today and you're going to be a regular listener, go out and and just click that subscribe button and that will, that'll connect us and we'll keep you posted on any changes as they come around, but we.

Have had some technical difficulties. We've had some issues that we're working through. And if it comes down to it, we will make a change if we have to. And we'll just have to, we'll have to make that change if we have to make it. So go to YouTube, hit subscribe on our channel and that'll keep us connected.

The curse of comparison, I, I want to get into this with you just for a few minutes and talk to you about something that I think maybe plagues us all. I don't know. I don't. I don't expect that I'm all that different than you. I really don't. I think we're probably very similar as human beings and we have to be careful.

We really have to be careful playing the game of comparisons. What you'll find is you've got two extremes. The first extreme is I'm doing so much better than them. And when we compare to people who aren't doing as much or as well as we seem to be doing, it causes pride.  And then the other extreme is I'll never hit that level that person is, and it causes discouragement.

And so you've got two extremes here, two ditches in the road, if you will. And we don't belong in either one, really, to be honest. We really don't belong either way, either place. I could. Look at some people that maybe aren't doing very well and say, man I've got it together. I am really doing well.

And then I've can look over to some other people who are just killing it and doing all kinds of big things. And I can say I'm not doing anything at all. And neither one of them are productive. Neither of those extremes. Are going to help me get up and do better. There is a solution and there is the middle perspective, and that is a challenge. 

I think both extremes can provide a challenge into our lives when we look at things correctly.  And the challenge is when I look at someone that's not doing very well, number one, I can be grateful. For where I am and what I have, I can be very thankful. I can be sympathetic. I can be I can reach out, I can help them.

I can be grateful. And then when I see someone that's achieving more and doing better, seemingly I can press harder. I can take that as a challenge to, to get up and do better than I did yesterday and look in the mirror and say, you haven't done your best yet. You haven't achieved everything that you can achieve yet.

And so it gives you that, that drive perhaps to do better today than you've done yesterday. I went to an event this week and this is probably why I'm thinking like I am. I went to an event this week. I took my daughter Kayla and spent some money and went to a motivational. Business conference on Thursday and the big, there was the big name people there.

Um, Mark Cuban was one of the speakers. David Goggins was one of the speakers. Just, there was others, but they, they were the kind of the headliners and just to be honest with you, my listener, I wasn't impressed with either one of them and I could go into more of that and maybe one of these days I will, and I will tell you why I wasn't impressed with either of those speakers.

But there were some very good speakers in the day and my daughter and I had a great time. I told her at dinner. After the event we were there for 12 hours and I told her at dinner, we were both tired, wiped out mentally, just drained. But I told her, I said, you know what? The best part of this day was you.

And I'm not saying that for, the all factor, the best part of the whole thing was being with my daughter and having, dinner the night before we got a hotel right there on. Right there, downtown Las Colinas, where we were. So we could just walk over to the event and just spending time.

Her and I, it really was the best, that was the best part of all of it, that you can have all of those guys and everything they had to say, I'll take my, I'll take my girl any day. It was a beautiful time just hanging out, talking being together was beautiful. It was awesome. And I think she felt the same way. 

And that was the best part, but there was a lot of good to be gained from listening to these other business people, men and women, as they spoke and they gave, tools and encouragement. And it was a, it was overall a good day, but here's what I found as I was driving home. We stopped to eat, then we got unpacked and all that, got in bed that night and the next morning I woke up discouraged I'm just going to be real honest with you right now.

I woke up, I was like, man I'm down.  And so I started thinking, because I'm usually not down, I'm not a negative person. I don't have negativity in my life. I don't put up with it. I push it right out of my life, right out of my mind. Anybody that's around me knows I'm a very positive person.

Even in the negative stuff, I tend to stay pretty positive. And life is going pretty well, all that. And I started doing some analyzing. As to what's going on here. And I tell you what it was. I listened to some guys who were billionaires. One guy that I listened to had moved.  He had transitioned in and out of 180 companies to the tune of some kind of 85 billion worth of selling those companies off and had all this money and.

It had all these five Oh one C three and ventures that he was in. Another guy got up and spoke. He flipped 101 houses in one year. And this, multi millionaire guy and just going down the list, these different people.  And I thought, man, I'm not doing anything.  I got, I don't have, I don't have anything going on.

And different, and I know different, I got a lot going on, but.  I started comparing myself the wrong direction and I started feeling like I was some kind of a failure because I don't have a billion dollars in a jet.  And this all has been with me now for several days. And so I had something else I was going to do on the podcast today.

And I thought, you know what, I'm just going to be honest with the folks who have taken the time to listen to this podcast the, you regular subscribed listeners who I value more than, you really don't, I don't think you can understand even how much I appreciate. You listening  and I thought, you know what?

I'm just gonna be honest. I'm just gonna peel the layers back and I'm just gonna I'm gonna bare my soul for a minute and tell you I was Disappointed, but I don't know that I was I may have been depressed. I'll just admit it. Maybe that's what was happening  I was discouraged for sure thinking  I don't have much going on how am I ever gonna get to a billionaire status, which is stupid thinking?

Come on That's ridiculous. I shouldn't have been thinking like that. I started really digging into what this, which was supposed to be motivational,  which was supposed to bring all of these aspirations and all of this these tools to drive me forward  actually  depressed me, or at least discouraged me more than I had been in years.

What was supposed to be positive and motivational  was paralyzing.  Now I know I'm getting real here and maybe you like that. Maybe you don't, I don't know. It's just me. It's just where I'm at  this event  discouraged more than encouraged. It was actually more negative.  Positive. And if they heard me say that it would mortify them.

If they heard me, that organizers of this event heard me saying that I left discouraged and I left depressed they would be there. Their jaw would drop open because it was all about going after it, get it done, achieve it. You can do it. Oh, here's how all of that.  It had the opposite effect on me.

And I sat there for a couple of days. I was real slow to move on the next morning, the next day. There was a couple of things I was supposed to do. I put them off. I didn't do it. I didn't go in, I was going to go in the restaurant Friday night and see people and just mill around and help.

And I didn't feel like it. I just went to dinner with my wife and we had a quiet dinner. And then Saturday I was at the restaurant all day and I, as in between talking to customers, I really began to analyze what was going on and I had began  to compare myself unfairly to people.  Who are in a different situation than me  again, I know this is different perhaps of a podcast for for the ranch and table, here it is, take it, leave it, turn it off.

If it turned off, if you want to, it's all good, no one will know if you turn it off right now, it's all good,  but I I had to get ahold of myself. I had to say, you know what, Wells? No. The reason that these guys have been able to do what they're doing is they were in the right place at the right time in this microsecond of a universe.

You look at Mark Cuban and his success. That was the perfect match of a perfect storm, of a perfect timing, of a perfect. There were so many perfects that happened in His initial sale and his second sale. And if you look at his story and I'm not discrediting him for being smart or being advantageous to, to making moves, I'm not discrediting him at all.

But what are the chances that you or I are going to. Have those set of circumstances to become a millionaire billionaire. You look at various people who have done this and there is like this lightning strike of an event that happens, that puts them into motion to create these things that doesn't necessarily happen to the regular guy like you and me, and we're talking about the top 1 percent of the 1 percent is who I'm comparing myself to now. I don't have any business doing that and neither do you. We don't have any business comparing ourselves to people who had lightning strike events happen in their life. That created this wealth that then of course they had to be stewards of and work with and work for and all of that But unless you and I have that kind of an event we're going to be  Where we are making the money we make today Working how we work today taking advantage of the opportunities that we're given today, which are not always the same thing as Some of these other guys and the reality is there's a whole lot more of us, 99 plus percenters, folks that have never had that, that,  this imagined this amazing thing that happens we're just not in that same, we're not in that same boat.

Now, I will tell you that since I have gotten ahold of myself, it has challenged me to say, you know what? But. Monday morning, I am, I'm going to hit it harder than I ever have. I'm going to continue working at what I've been privileged to work with. I'm going to do the best I can do with what I have,  but I refuse to let someone else's success  discourage me.

And I want to talk to you for just another couple of minutes here. Because I know I have done quite a few things in the last few years and I've started 10 companies. If you've followed my podcast, I've been very honest, very open about my journey and how I have gotten to, to be able to do the things I'm doing.

And the reason I'm even talking to you on this podcast now is because of some things that we've worked hard for and we've made happen. But there, I'm, I realize that there are people. Who get up in the morning, go to their job make the money they make, have the life they have. And perhaps mine looks different than yours.

Perhaps I look like I've got all the money in the world. I don't. Newsflash. I don't. The money goes out as fast as it comes in, but. I do have a lot going on, and so I don't ever want to be a discouragement to someone. I don't ever want to be a paralyzing factor in someone's life. Where they look at, maybe look at me and say I don't know that I could start a new company or two companies or ten companies.

You know what, don't worry about that.  Take it as a challenge, put it in perspective, and use that. Whatever it is, whoever you're looking at as a challenge to do better. And then look at someone who is not doing as well as you are and be thankful that you have what you have thankful for the job.

You do have thankful for the company you have built thankful for what's going on in your life. Because really, and truly, if we keep the right perspective, we'll keep moving forward. We'll keep pressing. We'll keep doing what we can do with what we have. And that's what we're supposed to do.  We have to progress, we have to make progress,  and if we are doing that, then we are winning at what we're supposed to be doing.

So everyone has their own reality. Everyone has their own set of challenges, and everyone needs to challenge themselves to do better than they did yesterday. And if we can do that, we won't allow someone else.  To make us prideful  because we're doing better and we won't allow someone else to discourage us because we're not doing quite as well as they seem to be doing. 

And so I believe that everyone should strive for the balanced life that you're supposed to be pressing for. You're supposed to be working hard for.  And then go be great at what you're called to do.  Every one of us have a different call to, calling. Every one of us have a different purpose in life. Every one of us have different responsibilities that we're supposed to be tending to every day. 

Put, put God first. Put family first. Put money second. Put the things in order the way they're supposed to go. And do your very best. And I believe. That you can avoid that curse of comparison.  Even for me, it sneaks in sometimes. And when it does, it can be paralyzing. I want to be challenged. I don't want to be paralyzed.

I want to be challenged and not discouraged. And I'm always grateful for what I do have.  This podcast has been brought to you by our friends at Sterling T  use that wells, 20 sterling t. com. And it's also been brought to you by our friends at fate creamery, downtown fate directly across from the fire station. 

Fate Creamery is ice cream done and check out their socials for the flavors of the week. And if you mention the Ranch and Table podcast, they'll give you a discount as well. And so be sure and let them know what your favorite,  their favorite flavor is. And for me, you know mine is the cookie butter. 

And hey, I'm already looking forward to next week. I'm looking forward to our guest that's going to be on with us. I want you to have a wonderful day. Don't get trapped in comparison, live your life, be great, do what you're supposed to be doing and keep your head on straight and go out to YouTube and subscribe.

We need to get you subscribed out there, build that channel up so we have a good communication with you. And as always, thank you for listening to the Ranching Table Podcast. This is Lee Wells saying so long.