Mastering Genuine Positivity Without the Pitfalls

You can find the article here: "Does Your Boss Practice Toxic Positivity" by Mita Mallick 

Episode 132 - What if the optimism you thought was boosting your team is actually holding them back? This episode uncovers the fine line between constructive positivity and its toxic counterpart, revealing how excessive optimism can manipulate teams, cause burnout, and lead to frustration. Drawing on insights from Mita Mallik, we explore how leaders can fall into the trap of weaponizing positivity, often at the expense of addressing real workplace challenges. True leadership goes beyond the surface, requiring a commitment to realistic goals and genuine support through coaching, training, and mentoring. Beware of surrounding yourself with 'yes' people and the dangers of groupthink, as we highlight the pivotal role finance leaders play in aligning resources with organizational goals.

Honest communication and transparency emerge as crucial tools for effective leadership. Inspired by the Army's principle of leading from the front, we discuss strategies for actively supporting your team, managing workloads, and setting realistic expectations. Our conversation is enriched by gratitude to Mita Mallik and Harvard Business Review, whose valuable insights offer a roadmap for personal development in leadership. As we focus on building trust and mutual respect, we invite you to steer clear of manipulation and equip your teams for success in a resource-constrained environment. Join us for an engaging discussion on fostering genuine work relationships and guiding your team with integrity.

Episode outline:

1. The weaponization of being too positive,
2. Be more realistic in your leadership style, and 
3. Validate your team members’ concerns, which can lead to better solutions. 

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Chapters

• 0:04 Impact of Manipulating With Positivity
• 12:45 Effective Leadership Communication Strategies

Transcript

Stephen McLain: 0:04

Have you ever felt you were being manipulated by excessive praise or empty adulations so that you would press on with a difficult task? Without question, we don't have to manipulate our team to properly motivate them. Be honest and realistic with the tasks and requirements we assign to our team. Set them up for success even when you have few resources to do so. Help your team win by doing your part to eliminate obstacles and to maximize existing resources so your team members can achieve success. Continue to assess and refine how you motivate your team to build genuine work relationships based on trust and mutual respect never manipulation. Please enjoy the episode.

Stephen McLain: 0:52

Welcome to the Finance Leader Podcast, where leadership is bigger than the numbers. I am your host, Stephen McLain. This is the podcast for developing leaders in finance and accounting. Please consider following me on Twitter, facebook, instagram and LinkedIn. My usernames and the links are in this episode's show notes, and you can also follow Finance Leader Academy on LinkedIn, thank you.

Stephen McLain: 1:15

This is episode number 132, and I will be talking about the impact of using positivity to manipulate your team, and I will highlight the following topics positivity to manipulate your team, and I will highlight the following topics. Number one the weaponization of being too positive. Number two, be more realistic in your leadership style. And three, validate your team members' concerns, which can lead to better solutions. Baseball center fielder Aaron Judge said if your team is in the trenches, then you've got to be in the trenches with them.

Stephen McLain: 1:46

Harvard Business Review published an article last year by Mita Mallik titled Does your Boss Practice Toxic Positivity? It's an enlightening article about how unchecked optimism without any consideration of reality in the workplace can lead to manipulation, burnout and frustration because leadership offers no solutions for obstacles, when we all know that obstacles are real in the workplace, whether it is a lack of resources or a lack of training, being short-staffed or even unrealistic goals. I believe that leadership is a privilege. Not everyone understands that. Yes, we rise to roles that require leading others, but often there is a lack of knowledge on how to properly motivate our team without manipulating them. I recommend reading this article and applying its lessons. I'll leave a link to the article in the show notes to this episode. Last week, in episode 131, stay on Track for Long-Term Success our first check-in for 2025, I conducted a check-in with everyone on how their goal setting and goal achievement was going so far in the new year. Are you on track or do you need to make a few adjustments? This is a great time to update your plan and document your progress after one month in the new year. Now we have to be careful not to misuse positive comments to manipulate our team and our organization. When we set unrealistic goals or expectations and we convince others to go along with that, it could be abuse.

Stephen McLain: 3:18

I talk often on this podcast about helping your team overcome obstacles. You have to set up your team for success. You need to provide the resources required to help them achieve team and organizational goals. There is a point where a lack of resources will result in failure and extra effort will not overcome it. Now, most of you know I served in the Army for a career and we were expected to never fail and to never make an excuse, so I understand this situation. But the military is a different culture and the mission is very, very unique. In the business environment, you are not literally in violent combat fighting to the last person for a national strategic objective where your very freedom could be at risk. In the business environment, you are making sales to achieve a profitable situation. Two entirely different cultures and two entirely different missions and required commitment. So ensure your business is properly resourced so your people can achieve the organizational goals or make the adjustments based on the resources you have.

Stephen McLain: 4:25

The author, meena Malik, walks us through the weaponization of positivity. She says, and I quote no matter how bad or stressful the situation is or how difficult the circumstances, they convince themselves that simply acting happy or thinking positive will change the outcome. End quote these same leaders push this unrealistic approach to their teams. Team objectives must have matching resources with realistic expectations. When we lead, we help our team members achieve their goals through coaching, training and mentoring. The weekly team meeting and the one-on-one meetings you have with each person helps to provide an opportunity to address issues to overcome.

Stephen McLain: 5:07

How do you know you are being manipulated? Are you required to maintain a fake persona, no matter the circumstances? Is happiness required at work at all times? Does your boss use excessive flattery to get you to perform impossible tasks or achieve impossible outcomes? If this is happening to you, then make a plan to address it. Why is this so critical for finance leaders? We need to ask ourselves if the plan or goal set out by the board and executive team makes sense. For example, as CFO, you need to state your opinion if the level of resources committed matches the growth that is expected. If the CEO wants to stay flat in the budget but grow revenue 30% year over year, is that possible? What additional resources will be required or what resources need to be reallocated to make this happen? Can it happen? Some may say that it is our job to make it happen, but it is also our job to not practice group think, do everything you can to help shape and achieve realistic organizational goals.

Stephen McLain: 6:11

The important point for us all is to be careful about surrounding yourself with yes, people. We want people to follow directions absolutely, but we also want people to question the status quo, to question when things don't make sense. If you want to increase your chance of failure, surround yourself with people who won't question one decision you make. Leadership is hard, no matter what, because every day, you are trying to maximize possibly limited resources in order to turn it into something amazing. Every day, even when the world wants to stop you at every turn, let's do everything we can to set realistic expectations and to treat people fairly and with dignity. The other side of this article is to take notice if you are being manipulated. Most of this episode, I am concentrating on leaders doing the right thing, but this article can make you smart so you can notice for yourself if you are being manipulated to help you take action to alter the situation for yourself.

Stephen McLain: 7:12

Now let's talk about the impact of using positivity to manipulate your team. Number one the weaponization of being too positive. I love optimism, but can optimism to the extreme be harmful? It sure can. When faced with crisis, we need leaders ready to find solutions, not just make everything sound wonderful. Should you be a leader building confidence, definitely, instead of doom and gloom? Of course, again, yes, so it comes down to our approach. Be honest, take charge and lead your team without the fluff.

Stephen McLain: 7:44

Now trickery becomes apparent. People are smart, so if you're consistently trying to trick them into something, they will figure it out. Just like I asked you to respect your team, you don't want to lose their respect. Your team wants to be valued and treated with respect. Flattery to get your way is a bad move. It's not leadership, it's manipulation. This is particularly true when it comes to resource gaps. When you are trying to trick your team into doing way more than their capacity, you have a duty to manage and then fix the gaps. Short-term, not great solutions can be exercised if you are honest and if you, as the leader, also assume some of that extra workload.

Stephen McLain: 8:25

Number two be more realistic in your leadership style. Always start with yourself. When faced with an organizational or team problem, do you lead with integrity, honesty and with trust built into your actions? We all face pressure to deliver fantastic results every month and to come up with a great idea. But what do you do when the results are not great or if you are short-staffed but with lots of work to complete? There are many ways to attack a staff resource problem. Set your priorities, which means you have to direct more on what projects get worked first. Protect your team's time from unwanted and less important requests and cancel wasteful meetings. This, again, is a way to protect time, and another lever you can pull change your processes. Make sure your processes are easier so you can save time and eliminate some frustration.

Stephen McLain: 9:17

Be truthful and authentic in all your communication and how you treat people. That's basic leadership. Treat your team right, take care of them and they will take care of you, including doing extra when it is required. But you as a leader, has to show up first. Self-awareness is a necessary skill, but seek feedback on how you speak to your people and how you motivate your team. 3. Validate your team members' concerns, which can lead to better solutions.

Stephen McLain: 9:45

I always encourage leaders to be great listeners. Don't be dismissive. Listen and comprehend. I had to learn to be an active listener over the years and I am still learning. I had to learn to be an active listener over the years and I am still learning. I realized I needed to change when I was a unit commander in the Army and I had just started my MBA program. Active listening was a key topic and I dove in. You have to be deliberate when listening. You need to drop everything and turn to the person who is talking and validate what you are hearing. The next step is to apply what you learned from your team. You should be able to learn something significant that can make a positive difference. Next is to develop a realistic plan when faced with a problem, take the lead and I expect you to sacrifice also Sacrifice right along with your team if you need to make drastic changes Now.

Stephen McLain: 10:34

As finance leaders, we face a myriad of problems while trying to determine why something happened, and we have to give direction to our team on what data to pull or what type of information should be analyzed. We may need to try different things to help senior leaders make better decisions. The pressure is great indeed to figure out something, and often quickly, and often the data doesn't support what we projected to happen. So how do you deliver such news and how do you motivate your team to find a better solution? When things go wrong, we can blame or we can find solutions. We can choose to manipulate our team or we can become the leader our team deserves by leading the process, by leading with integrity and not with coercion or tricks or even manipulation. Now for action. Today, the great leaders know how to listen to their team members, especially to the team member with vast experience. I'm also assuming that leaders want to make a genuine contribution to making a difference without using manipulation to get what they want during tough situations. I recommend you assess your process for getting people on board. When faced with a tough problem, how do you address the workload and how do you address performance improvement?

Stephen McLain: 11:48

I was asked to speak at a finance leadership development program. It's a three-week virtual training event to help you unlock critical skills so you can reach for higher roles in finance and accounting. It is called the Office of the CFO Boot Camp. Topics include the CFO mindset, strategic Influence, change Leadership, and Executive Presence and Communication. You can find more information and how to sign up at financeleaderacademycom Select Boot Camp in the top menu. I will also drop a link in this episode's show notes If you are listening to this episode. Later there is a plan for additional workshops, so keep checking that link.

Stephen McLain: 12:26

Today I talked about the impact of using positivity to manipulate your team, and I highlighted the following points 1. The weaponization of being too positive. 2. Be more realistic in your leadership style. 3. Validate your team members' concerns, which can lead to better solutions.

Stephen McLain: 12:45

I want to thank Mita Mallik and Harvard Business Review for publishing this article. It is so important to realize what we are saying to our team. We have to be aware of our words and our actions when it comes to leading our team, and if you use intentional manipulation to sway your team to work a certain way or to work harder instead of being honest, so please let's find a better way to do it. And if you are an aspiring leader, developing realistic leadership is key to success for your team. As leaders, we have tools to help our team with workload and priorities. That's what leaders do, so let's help our team and lead from the front, as we say in the Army.

Stephen McLain: 13:25

Please read the article and there is a link in the show notes. Great article. I recommend it for your development. I hope you enjoyed the Finance Leader Podcast. You can find this episode wherever you listen to podcasts. If this episode helped you today, please share it with a colleague. Until next time, you can check out more resources at financeleaderacademycom and sign up for my weekly updates so you don't miss an episode of the podcast. And now go lead your team and I'll see you next time. Thank you.