How Jewelry Can Help Us Remember a Loved One

Mike talks through the loss of his grandmother and the unexpected way her jewelry becomes a bridge between grief, family history, and love. 

He shares the story of how an immigrant life, a box of jewelry on a bed, and one garnet brooch shape his view of what jewelry is really for.

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Transcript

Why Jewelers Still Love Jewelry

Oma And Opa’s War-Time Romance

Starting Over In New York

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hi. Uh I wanted to make this episode because I just lost my grandmother. Uh, she was my last remaining um grandparent, and I was very fortunate to have four awesome grandparents, but she was the one I was the closest with. Uh, she was 95 years old when she passed away this past week, and she's also the person who inspired me about jewelry. And it's funny, I didn't actually search out uh a career in jewelry. I sort of just came to me. But I was always really interested in jewelry from a pretty young age. I think it comes with the art thing, and I kind of wanted to just talk about her and sort of relate the story of a grandmother and how they can get you into jewelry. I've talked with hundreds of people over the years about jewelry on this podcast. You've listened to them all, I'm assuming. And one thing that's really interesting is that jewelers still love jewelry. It's their job, but they still like it. And that's kind of, I don't know, something I appreciate about the industry. You know, if you work in oil refining or steel smelting or whatever, I sometimes wonder if you really care about it or you have any appreciation for it other than you know the fact it secures you financially. But I know that jewelry is something that jewelers still care about. You know, sometimes I talk to uh Vincent and from Arezzo, and he it's he's still excited about the jewelry he's helping make. Sometimes I talk with Anna Barnett from Barnett Jewelers, and she's still excited about the new lines of jewelry that they're seeing at these shows, the big, exciting, massive diamond honkers that they see at the uh trade shows, and the small, dainty little things that are going to be good for entry-level people. I mean, the fact that kids' jewelry even exists is kind of an example of how it's not always about the price of the jewelry, but also just in part about why we care about the jewelry. So, all that to be said, I wanted to talk, if you'll indulge me, about my grandma, because this is something that I want to do. And I feel like after 275 episodes or whatever we're on, I get to have one of these. So if this isn't for you, no problem. But just listen to me talk about my grandma. So my grandma, her name was uh Terry. Teresa is her name, uh was her name. And um so Terry was born in Germany and during World War II and goes on to meet my grandpa. Uh, grandpa is was Mario. And what's really interesting is that my grandma was born in uh Bavaria and was a German Catholic and goes on to fall in love with and marry for oh 60 or 70, I don't know, I don't even know how many years they were married, a lot of years together with a Polish Jew. And my grandpa, uh, without getting super into his story, uh went through all the camps and had a his family had a very uh difficult time during the war, to put it very mildly. And he ended up in the small town where my grandma was, and they fell in love. It was a storybook uh kind of romance, and it always made me smile. But what was really interesting is one thing leads to another, and my grandpa they decide to immigrate to the United States. Um, they had the choice between America and the choice between um and Australia. And when they because my grandpa was a uh uh a prisoner of war refugee type of um situation with this, um, he had like a almost like a voucher to go anywhere at one of these two places that were ex uh accepting um these refugees. One was America, other was Australia. And when he asked my grandma, she thought about it and she said, Let's go to America, because I know where that is. So off he went. He went on a boat and he arrived in America. He left on, I believe it was Christmas, Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, and he got on a boat and he came to America with uh five dollars. And he went on to become super uh successful, and he was just one of the smartest guys I know. One thing that was really interesting is they ended up, you know, one year later, my grandma also came across on a boat to meet him here, and they started a life in America, in New York City. And as a Polish Jew, one thing that I always kind of laughed about or kind of found funny when they would tell me is my grandpa didn't, I think, didn't really trust the banks. You know, I sometimes wonder if it was because he couldn't have a bank account, because as a prisoner of war, you know, as like this refugee type character, he didn't really have any paperwork for his name. You know, after the wars ended, he was sort of uh the term was like a man without a country, you know. He tried to go back to Poland and there was like nothing there, and then he went all over the place and lived on the black market a little bit for a spell. And when he came here, I think he just didn't trust came a little bit harder. And one of the things he spent his money on for my grandma was on jewelry, and I think that because they were both pretty poor, they he really wanted my grandma to feel you know, feel rich or luxurious, I guess. And what's funny is he always, always bought my grandma flowers, but he also would invest in uh jewelry. And to fast forward the story, they eventually ended up in Syracuse, New York, and that's where they they lived, you know, till the very end. And my grandma would still sometimes visit New York City. And what's funny is my grandpa, I think, uh, stopped wanting to travel out of very you know very quickly. And what's funny is though, my grandpa had a connect on Fifth Ave in the Diamond District, even way back then. I I I don't even know what the the years were around then, uh, you know, the 40s or the 50s, I guess. And even then, when they started, they started a um a beauty salon in Syracuse, which they owned for about 50 years, over 50 years, uh, they would invest their money, my grandpa would invest his money sometimes in uh diamonds and gold. And he knew a guy in the fifth Av. His name was uh Chaibach, and he was also a Polish Jew. And I still kind of laugh that I think that you know Chai Bach had gone through the camps as well, and they had that connect. So he would give my grandpa some uh really solid, solid deals on, especially on diamonds, but also on gold. And what's funny is my grandma would go down with the money and would buy this jewelry and then come back, and sometimes it was, you know, a pretty substantial um stones. And I still have to think about my grandma, you know, not running diamonds, but like bringing this, you know, these deliveries up. And with that, with that jewelry, they kept us an investment, and which is funny because they never sold it, you know? And I still remember when I was probably eight or nine or so, um, sitting on my grandma's bed while my grandpa was still around, and sitting on her bed, and my mom and her going through my grandma's uh jewelry box and seeing all of the stuff. And as a, you know, I I've liked art since I was literally born, and they always knew that, and I really took a an interest in in the jewelry, and my grandma would take it out and let me try it on and put on the watches, and they were never wealthy, but it felt rich to do that. Like these were investments, like there's no real difference, I guess, in their eyes to having gold and diamonds as opposed to like having you know uh real estate or land or stuff like that. So they were it was just more tactile, I guess. And it from a very early age spawned an interest in jewelry for me. And I used to try it, try on the the diamond necklace, and my grandma would let me see the the you know the family stuff, which I think is something I would hope that more people would do. I sometimes wonder what other families did in that case. Did do families keep their stuff in a safety deposit box or a safe? Like, I think what was so interesting to me was they would trade, they would allow me to see it and and be involved. And as a result, it made me like you know, interested. And as the years went on, my mom has also done that for me and would show me the the family jewelry uh throughout the years. Most of it, if we're being honest, almost all of it, was from Oma and Opa, as I call them, was from them. And my mom would, you know, sometimes every few years let me look at the at the jewelry and try it all on to see what it was like. And I still really appreciated that experience. And I guess, like to this is just me kind of rambling and telling a story, but I guess I would kind of encourage people to let their kids in on it, and it will it might foster some type of I don't know, experience or relationship with jewelry that is beyond just you know the business end of it. And what's really cool is that the past few days, as I've had to kind of help deal with the estate in my mom and uncle kind of going through her old things, uh one thing that was kind of funny was people would they they learned my extended family learned I was involved in jewelry. They didn't all know, but my mom, of course, is very proud of me. So tells, oh Michael, he's yeah, he's been in jewelry for almost nine years, and he he runs a podcast, and I cringe because podcasting sometimes has a negative connotation. And what was cool was they went through the the rest of the jewelry, and it made me feel really proud that I knew so much about this part of Oma, that they would show they asked me, like, hey, is this worth anything? And they would like hand it to me as they went through these like little boxes, and I would because my grandma had some costume jewelry, but like some of it was really nice, and they would hand it to me and I'd look and I'd be like, Oh yeah, that's gold. And then I would hand it back to them, and then I would keep sitting there and they'd be like, Michael, what about this one? And they'd hand me something else, and I'd look, and I was like, Oh yeah, that is also gold. And it was that over and over again, because my grandma didn't really my grandpa didn't buy anything that was junk, and uh no offense to the people who deal in gold-plated stuff, but everything was very solid. And something about it made me, she was such a classy, classy old bird, and it made me so proud of her, some somehow, in holding these pieces of jewelry, like they had a little something, like a little story inside of them, and something about the fact I didn't know all of the stories kind of made me a little bit sad. But I knew a lot of them. So it was a really special thing to go through and get a chance to look at it. And my grandma had uh had a birthday in January. Um so she wa her birthstone was uh garnets, and mine was also garnets, and the stones that she had a pin, a brooch. She had asked me if I wanted this brooch a long time ago. It had all these garnets on it, and it looks like um a bouquet of flowers, and there's something that my grandma loved. It was flowers and it was butterflies, and it had all these garnets looking like flowers, and she really had offered it to me, I think, three different times. The designer on it, as I've gone in and I've started looking at it a little bit more, is this person named Lucien Picard, and apparently it's from the 1960s, and she offered it to me so many times, and I said no every single time. And I didn't want to take it because it felt like I would admit she was going to die, which is very naive of me, of course. And she really would sometimes be like, oh, of course I'm going to die. And I didn't want to admit it because I thought that having this pin meant that I was like almost like welcoming her dying. So we went in and we looked at that, all of the jewelry, and that was the one thing that I really felt the closest to. And I now have that pin. And what's really interesting, just to kind of tie it all together a little bit more, is I asked um my friend Vincent from Orezzo Jewelers to tell me about this pin. And it was a really cool thing to hear him kind of explain, you know, read him explaining it to me. And he was really nice. He explained what the stones are, and he explained he asked if I could look to see if it was stamped, and it was. And I think that it's a really nice heirloom. And I had a question to myself, like, why am I holding on to this if I am I gonna wear a pin? Am I gonna be a brooch guy? And you know what? I don't know yet, but I'm gonna try to wear it. Maybe to some art openings. My grandma would find that funny. And maybe I'll wear it to some other um events, weddings, wear it on my, you know, on the inside of my jacket, maybe, or on the outside of my jacket. But it was these things that I had never really experienced the connection and the storytelling of jewelry quite like that. I think we do that with with jewelry in the living. I mean, isn't that what uh engagement ring is supposed to be for? Engagement rings are supposed to be symbols of eternal love. But I think that also jewelry maybe can symbolize um like someone who's now deceased in the memories we have of our love. Cause I man, I I really love this lady. Um, I used to talk to her every single day. I call her every single day, and we talk for one minute, or we talk for 15 minutes or 30 minutes. Usually just five minutes, she'd tell me what the weather in Syracuse was like. I would tell her what I did today, and that was it. But now something about this pin just feels really special and like I can carry a piece of jewelry with me that will make me think of her. Yeah. I I guess it made me think m even more about it's crazy to say, like the value of a life. You know? Some people they don't have anything to show for their family, you know, they don't have uh an heirloom, lots of families they live and they die, and they don't have anything to bring with them to remember the rest of them. So I should consider myself very lucky that she had this one to give to me. Even if I didn't want to take it in real life, or while she was around. I wanted to wait. But now I have a Lucien Picard brooch with garnets and emeralds and pearl and turquoise in the shape of a really nice flower, a bouquet of flowers. And it's all gold because of course she wouldn't have anything gold plated, that would be insane. She would never It's funny, they were never they were never wealthy, they were never rich, but they built a life in a foreign country that that they came to as immigrants, and it makes me really proud of them. And I think that's kind of what I've just been thinking about. Sometimes jewelry is to celebrate new love, and sometimes jewelry is to celebrate old love. And I think that's something I learned from my grandma and I thought I'd share it with you. I think that's why I ended it. Hopefully you can edit that Paul to make it sound a little bit better. Um maybe two weeks. I might think a week.