Marie 00:00:03 Welcome to Child Care Conversations, the podcast where early childhood leaders like you get real world strategies, honest talk and a whole lot of support. Whether you're running one center or many. We're here to help you lead with confidence and clarity. This episode is brought to you by our summer partner Child Care Business Growth, your go to solution for filling spots, increasing revenue, and scaling your child care business without the burnout. We're proud to partner with a team that's as committed to your success as we are. Learn more at Childcare Business growth.com. Now let's get into today's conversation. One we think you're really going to love.
Kate 00:00:49 Well, today's episode is brought to you by South Texas. And we are so excited to bring Lily on and to have a conversation about building family legacy and that unexpected kind of reward that comes from working with folks you've known well, not quite all your life, but, you know, at least since high school. And so we're excited to bring Lily on. And so with that, Lily, introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about your program, and then we're just going to have a conversation.
Lily 00:01:25 Oh, hi. My name is Lily Lugo. I own Alphabet Playhouse in Brownsville, Texas. And I also have another center in Harlingen. But that one's where my son is at. And I've been doing this for the childcare business for ten years. early childhood for 32 years.
Kate 00:01:44 Awesome. And how did you find yourself when you say you were in the business for 32 years? What does that mean?
Lily 00:01:52 I started actually, I started as a work study at the TSC lab school. I was not studying child childcare. I was studying to be a substance abuse counselor. I wanted to be a social worker. That was always my dream. But my mother was that cook.
Carrie 00:02:07 So you kind of do. But now it's pacifiers and bottles. Trying to help people no longer need their pacifiers. Bottles.
Lily 00:02:17 Yes, but they are a little bit too young for that. So it kind of scared me off when I would go to the AA meetings and everybody was still kind of drunk. Yeah. So that that really wasn't for me.
Lily 00:02:28 But, they offered me a work study job because I was always there. And at that time, the actual girls that were studying childcare couldn't handle the children. And I went in, they told me what to do. And apparently I did really well because I became a teacher aide for the pre-K teacher. And after that, I was moved to headstart because I wanted to be a caseworker, a social worker. But I was still too young according to them, because I had no children. I was 19, So I became a teacher, aide and a teacher. Then eventually I got my opportunity to apply for a caseworker in headstart. But at the same time, I applied for the subsidy program and I got the position there thanks to Christian, because he was six months old and apparently because I had the parent experience, they hired me.
Kate 00:03:22 I love that.
Carrie 00:03:23 Story. Maybe I could get you a job. Yeah, exactly. Maybe I could get you a job. So.
Lily 00:03:29 I was there for six years.
Lily 00:03:33 I became eventually I was a supervisor for three years, and, then we got the opportunity to go work for a grant at UTB at that time, which is now Utrgv, and we're doing a research grant for daycares. we're trying to improve. If we gave quality training that they the children will do better. So we both got certified to do research. And also that's where my training consulting became. We were training the teachers. We did that for three years. I took a year off to finish school, and I did finish my sociology degree with 18 hours of childcare. And right after I graduated, there was a position open for the coordinator for for the board office for Cameron Works, and I applied and I got it. So I did that for seven years. And again, I was a little bit not bored, but the challenge was no longer there.
Kate 00:04:28 Okay, so real quick for those who are listening, who are not exactly sure everything that Lily said because you aren't from Texas. So Lily went from did some work with Head Start, then went to do some research with a local university in the southern part of Texas.
Kate 00:04:48 And then from there she went to run one of the state agencies. Ish. They're a little different in Texas than most states that does the quality improvement program. So if you are a child care block grant funded anywhere in the country, your state probably manages it differently. Texas definitely does it its own way. And Lilly was in charge of one county. But again, Texas counties aren't the same as other states. And so this is not a small county, and it is definitely a unique county. And a lot of that is because of geography. So, all right. So I did my little insert.
Carrie 00:05:33 What does a couple of the things she did. You hit the big ones right. Yeah. Because she also worked as a caseworker. And anyway but she's done lots of things in different levels. She's worked in the classroom, she's worked as a supervisor now an owner. She's worked with a state agency, a funding agency and a research. I mean, that's and training. So that's a that's a lot of different hats you've worn over the years Lily.
Carrie 00:06:02 Like that's kind of impressive. Have you taken a moment to kind of be impressed with yourself? Because it's kind of impressive, actually.
Lily 00:06:11 Not really. Lately I have after I came back from Miami, I was like, dang, I'm pretty.
Lily 00:06:16 Cool. You are pretty cool. Pretty cool too.
Carrie 00:06:22 We knew Christian was cool, but now we know where he gets it.
Kate 00:06:27 Okay, well, we have to be honest. So those who have not ever heard this story, the reason we think Christian is cool is because the Christian Christian is the first person in the wild who came up to us and said, I listened to your podcast and we had never met him before. And so we were at we were in, basically the town where Lily is from, and we were doing a training at that conference, and it was the first time somebody and I do refer to that as in the wild, and came up to us out of nowhere and basically said, hey, I listen to your podcast. And so we were so tickled.
Kate 00:07:03 So the next time we saw him at a conference, we're like, hey, we need you on our podcast. Because, you don't often find, a lot of men in early childcare. And we were so excited that not only did we meet him once, he was still here a year later and, even more, building the business with his family. And so that's kind of the direction we're going to hopefully carry this conversation, because, Lily, you you've created something in South Texas. And I want to talk a little bit more about that. So, you started with one school, correct?
Lily 00:07:45 We started.
Lily 00:07:46 With.
Lily 00:07:47 We have three right now. Okay. We we actually started we actually started as a partner with the actual owner of alphabet. bit. we took over Harlingen. There's two centers in Harlingen, and, I had no money, so she. But they knew she needed my resume and my background. So we did that for six months, but our vision was very different. So I guess she decided to one day, she just called me and said, hey, I'll give you my center in Brownsville, and you let me keep the two in Harlingen.
Lily 00:08:20 And I said yes. So that's how I ended up with with 175 capacity center in Brownsville. but I had been training her staff for ten years.
Lily 00:08:34 Okay. So she was.
Lily 00:08:35 Very familiar with her staff, and they all loved me. So they all stayed with me. So that helped me a lot.
Kate 00:08:42 So you started with one very large school in Brownsville, and now you have more than that. What what prompted taking on the next location and And what's it like working with people who have known you forever?
Lily 00:08:59 actually, the location that Christian has, it. It belonged to that partnership.
Lily 00:09:05 Okay.
Lily 00:09:06 And when she wanted to sell out, she had to sell it to me because we had a contract with the city. Yeah. So, you know, so she would have Dorothy again, and we said yes. I asked Christian, hey, you know, I always ask Christian before I even ask my husband, because Christian is just like me. And I asked him, hey, you know, you want to do this, we'll put in your name.
Lily 00:09:26 And he said, mom, as long as not a shady business, we'll do whatever you want. So that's how he ended up with a center as young as he was, because I believe he was 21.
Carrie 00:09:37 Which is the minimum age for being a director in the state of Texas.
Lily 00:09:41 Yes.
Carrie 00:09:41 And, you know, it has that whole cast to the industry for at least two years. Well, if he grew up in a center, then he probably had worked for more than two years. By the time he was 21.
Lily 00:09:57 Yes.
Carrie 00:09:57 He said. You said you never expected that he would be. Yeah. You said you weren't necessarily expecting him to be the one of your family that wanted to go into the industry. Why do you think that changed? We've heard his version. I want to hear your version. Why do you think it changed?
Lily 00:10:13 I think he saw. Well, we opened it. We bought another center right before Covid in San Benito. We bought the building. It was an opportunity.
Lily 00:10:23 And, I always had I still have access to his bank account, so I knew he had some money saved. So I say, hey, you're going to have I go have everybody in the building, right? He was like, okay, mom. So we did that. we were just going to open when Covid hit and we were not able to open until after Covid. So when we did open, we made him the director. And that just completely changed the way he started thinking about, you know, child care. He took more ownership in that when I made him director, even though he had been the owner of the other center. And I asked him why. Now I'm the director, now I'm in charge, you know, because in Harlingen he had a director that he had to listen to. So that completely changed, you know how he was thinking and he still had all these other plans? until we went through. He went through two years. He tried really hard. He was really stressed out.
Lily 00:11:21 So we sold it. We sold it. And, we invested in another smaller center that we were not going to keep. But eventually that person didn't like it, so we took over also, but just in the last year, he, he said, you know what, I want to do this. I want to do that. And I said, well, you know, I only have eight more years on me. The daycare I want to I'm 52 and I les, you're going to take over then, you know, we're going to do all this stuff. And he said, yep, I'm willing. Are you going to are you going to give them to me? And I said, no, sir. I'm going to sell them to you. That's my.
Lily 00:11:56 Retirement.
Carrie 00:11:57 That's right. You gotta fund their retirement.
Lily 00:12:01 And he said, well, just give me a good prize. And I said, I'll give it to you in payments. You know, and I also think it's the he's his partner, you know.
Lily 00:12:12 he, he became a little bit more stable after he. He started living with her. And she's getting her master's in, speech pathology. And she's also now working in one of our centers, and he and first lady want to. And now, like, they're taking over, like they they're taking more ownership. And I'm really happy for that because we worked really hard for all this.
Kate 00:12:31 All right.
Carrie 00:12:31 So that's.
Lily 00:12:33 Amazing.
Kate 00:12:33 I just have to ask this question because we get a fair amount of, folks who listen, who are in a similar situation in the fact that a parent, usually mom, owns the business and their goal is to turn it over to their children. But sometimes there's a little, reluctant to let go. What advice would you give to somebody who has strong, capable, business minded children who are working in the business beside them? And again, the one that I'm thinking of specifically is a multi-site. Right. So, you know, some of the children work in some of the other locations, but, you know, the leader, the, the founder is having a little hard time just actually doing that.
Kate 00:13:25 Let go. What would you say to them if you were like, you can build this as a family legacy, but at some point in time you have to not be snooping through their bank accounts.
Lily 00:13:38 I did that no more.
Kate 00:13:42 I love that story. I'm gonna I'm gonna.
Lily 00:13:44 Keep that.
Kate 00:13:44 In the back of my mind forever. Next time I see Christian, I'm just going to chuckle. but in the meantime, Time. what would you say to somebody who is really struggling with letting go?
Lily 00:13:56 I've never really micromanaged anybody, not even my children. that's why once he's. I only go to his center. I, I, I kind of facilitate, you know, make sure everything's, everything's being run accordingly. And, and I treat him like one of my directors. I don't really go and micromanage when I go to their center. Actually, I go help in the kitchen, and I tell them because I'm not the one that's always here. So I'm not, you know. So you're the ones that are running daily.
Lily 00:14:27 So I don't like stepping on anybody's feet. And so he has great ideas. And I always tell them I will take everybody's ideas unless it's going to hurt our pocket. Then I'm going to say okay hold on because that might affect us, you know? But at the end of the day, they're the ones that are running that every day. And I do the same with my other centers, even though they're not, there's not family members there. I do have my one of my younger sister and my alphabet. She's in charge of all the food program. So I know you know that they're always watching. But I have a really, really good relationship with my directors, and I let them decide. This is your center. The staff does not come to me for any problems. They go to them for everything. Unless it's something to do with, mentoring or stuff like that. They have questions on. I'll help them out. But if they come ask me for, can I have a day off or anything like that? Or you need to go talk to your supervisor because I'm not your supervisor.
Lily 00:15:23 I'm their supervisor. But I got this from the workforce, so that's how I work with centers, so I'm ready to go. I'm not, believe me. The moment he says I want to take over, I'm ready to say, see you later. And and I go back.
Lily 00:15:38 He'll be ready. But I feel like they.
Lily 00:15:40 Function better without me than when I'm there.
Kate 00:15:42 I love that. I love that because I think that's such great real life, practical and simple advice, which is I'm their boss, but they're your boss. And I just think that's a great, great little nugget of information. Carry. You look like you want to ask a question.
Carrie 00:15:59 I was just going to say that is something for every owner who is not an owner director. To keep in mind is you don't want to set up a stepparent situation, right where the kids go around and they ask everybody until they get the answer they want.
Lily 00:16:16 Yeah. And that's all I was.
Carrie 00:16:18 I was a yeah, I was a kid of divorce and my brother was very much he would check with all four available adults until he got the answer he wanted.
Carrie 00:16:28 And sometimes he'd go back through, try asking the question a different way. And we've seen that in centers where they have an admin team and they go and ask everybody on the admin team and then the owner trying to get the answer that they want. And you don't want that. That's not that's not good.
Lily 00:16:45 But but I think.
Kate 00:16:46 The way you mentioned it I think is what's key. And that is telling the staff person, well, you know, you need to go check with them. And I think that's the piece that sometimes the the owners kind of forget, which is like they may not answer or they may even ask a question about, oh, well, what did so-and-so say? But I like the fact that you didn't even answer it. You're just like, no.
Lily 00:17:09 Yeah.
Kate 00:17:09 And I talk to that person.
Lily 00:17:11 Sometimes I feel a little bit bad, but I'm like, no, because I don't let it because because I'm trying to avoid, you know, conflict. Because I don't want to take the authority out of the directors.
Lily 00:17:22 Well, I think.
Kate 00:17:22 That that's a great point, because we get a lot of people who are conflict avoidant. And so I love the fact that your view is you do this so that you're avoiding conflict. So I think that everybody who, might be listening that identifies themselves as conflict avoidant may not view that response as that. But I think that's a great point, that you are avoiding conflict because you're like, that's not my monkey.
Lily 00:17:50 Go talk to any director.
Lily 00:17:52 Even Christian does that at his center. when I go to his center, I'm Christian's mom. They don't even know my name. Everybody just calls me Christian's mom. And the staff goes to the director. They don't go to him. I mean, she'll discuss. Will. Will have. You know, we're always. We're always in communication. Always. But for example, today, I haven't even called it. I'm not. I'm not going yet, you know, and no one's called me because everybody is running, you know, doing what they're supposed to do, and I'll just show up suddenly.
Carrie 00:18:19 Yeah, well, I think we could have another 45 minutes conversation about the things that you've learned, having gone in your very interesting career path. And I wanted to do another episode where we talk about working with one of your best friends. But we've taken a lot of your time already today. So I want to be a little bit respectful and say that if you need somebody who can help you with your program and you're in South Texas, please definitely reach out to Lily and she's there to help you. She will travel. and, I think she's a great resource to owners and to directors. And please use her as such. Especially if you are having some issues with, cultural understanding with Hispanic populations. She's helped us with that a little bit already, and we've only known her, what, a month and a half, two months. so, definitely use Lily as a resource. We'll put her contact information in the lead. And, Kate, you want to wrap this up?
Kate 00:19:33 Absolutely.
Carrie 00:19:34 So she does not want to wrap us up.
Carrie 00:19:35 She is laughing because she doesn't like the doobie do.
Kate 00:19:38 Sometimes Kerry says things that just make me kind of chuckle and dooby doo, in other words, often make that happen. So anyway, we know that you got something from this episode, and we know that there is somebody who you have met at a conference who absolutely needs to hear Lily's advice on working and building that legacy. So share the show, leave a review, and we can't wait to see you on our next episode.
Marie 00:20:06 Thanks for tuning in. We love bringing you real talk and fresh insight from the world of early childhood education. Be sure to follow us on social media to stay connected and catch all of the latest episodes. And if you're planning a conference, training, or special event. Kate and Carrie would love to speak to your audience. You can learn more about their keynotes, sessions, and workshops at Kate and Carrico. If you learned something today, share the show and leave us a review below. We'll see you next time on Child Care Conversations.
