358: The Greatest Wellness Secrets Every Family Childcare Provider Needs to Know With Annette Eberhardt

This episode of Childcare Conversations is such a good one! Kate sits down with Annette Eberhart, a 19-year family childcare veteran from Florida, to talk about something we all need to hear: self-care and wellness for early childhood educators. We're not just talking bubble baths here! Annette digs deep into boundaries, mindset, discipline, and even shares a bit of her personal journey. 
If you're feeling burnt out or stuck, this conversation will genuinely make you stop and reflect. Grab your coffee and give it a listen!

Learn more about Annette: 

www.linkedin.com/in/annette-eberhart-25b91181

https://www.youtube.com/@annettee05

Thanks for Listening 🎧

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Child Care Conversations, the podcast where early childhood leaders like you get real-world strategies, honest talk, and a whole lot of support. Whether you're running one center or many, we're here to help you lead with confidence and clarity. This episode is brought to you by this quarter's sponsor, Playground, the all-in-one child care management software. We're all about managing monkeys and saving you time at your center. With this platform, you can. We're proud to partner with a team that's as committed to your success as we are. Learn more at TriPlayground.com. Now, let's get into today's conversation. One we think you're really going to love.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Welcome back, everybody. I am so glad that you are joining us with Childcare Conversations. And today's conversation is really, it's going to be about you, but we're going to talk with Annette Eberhart out of Florida. She is bringing some sunny, sunny weather with us today, or it could be raining. It is Florida in the summer. So, you know, who knows what we've got going on there. So if you happen to be up north, if you're in Canada or you are one of the other 124 countries listening, uh, we are so glad that you've joined us this week. And Annette, tell everybody a little bit how you found yourself in early childcare and your personal mission currently. Um, and we'll just go from there.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Well, thank you, Kate. I am so happy to be here as a guest. Um, I am Annette Eberhardt. I am the owner and founder of Kids of Us Best Practices, where I bring together my work as a family child care program owner, author, speaker, and advocate to support educators and promote best practices in early childhood. I think the sharing my lived experiences has also brought awareness to the value and impact of family child care. I've been a family child care program owner for 19 years in August. And um I would say within the last decade, I've really stepped out into leadership roles. I thought it was important to um for educators to start being more um a part of the conversations that are impacting and you know shaping our field. And uh one of the things that I really think is important as um educators, leaders, is to understand the importance of self-care and overall wellness. And I started to realize that in order for us to continue to show up and do the work that we do and lead others, we have to first be able to lead ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Okay, so real quick, tell me a little bit about what self-care means to you, because I will tell you my what I thought self-care was prior to 2020, and even more prior to 2021, where you know, my life hit an oh shit bump. Um, you know, what does what does that mean to you? Because I don't want to have everybody assuming that you and I are talking about the same thing because what I thought it was before 2020 and what I realize it is for me now, which again, part of that might be age, part of that may also be just having a real open discussion about it. Because I think that, at least my experience, was I heard the term, I saw people do things they called self-care on social media, and after a while it felt like an obligation to me. So, what does self-care mean in your definition as we move this conversation forward?

SPEAKER_01 3:46

The question. Wellness to me, or self-care, is really taking care of you as an individual inside, because when we feel good and we are cared for inside, it shows. It shows in how we show up, it shows in how we treat people. You know, um so when you mean inside, are you are you talking about like what I eat? It could be what you eat, what you think, you know, what we eat and what we think is what we project. So I think that it's important to understand who you are. A lot of us show up every day as people expect us to, or what out outside influences say we should be, or how we should be. And we don't often sit with ourselves and really think about who we are. Think about how many people have relationships and or children, you know, and our jobs as educators, we show up for our parents, we show up for our children. We just give out, give out, give out. And we never really reel it back in and say, hey, what about me? You know, I forgot, I have been a mother. I this is my first time living alone. And I'm seasoned. I'm not gonna tell y'all how seasoned I am. But I've never lived by myself. You know, you're in relationships and you're raising children, and you know, how often do you sit back and say what it is that you really like to do or think about some of the things you like to do to make you happy? You know, I know another thing that was um self-care, wellness for me, setting boundaries in this field. It's yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, right. We always please and, you know, so it's really about tapping into who you are as an individual first.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

And it can look like so I I'm gonna interrupt, which you know I do frequently. Um because you said something that again, uh I it changes my frame of reference to even my own perception of self-care, which I feel like I've done an awful lot of work on in the last five years. But I don't think I would have ever put boundaries as self-care, even though I think that is the number one thing that I've changed in the last five years is really firm boundaries. And even though, and it's funny because it's not just work and it's not just home, right? Like I think a lot of times like I go to workshops, I'd even teach workshops on how to say no to a parent or how to say no to a staff person, but I wasn't practicing it myself at home or in my personal life, right? So like it wasn't like I would, you know, what I call helium hand, right? Like I'd be at that parent teacher conference or that parent teacher meeting or some scout meeting or some something, right? And they're like, and we need a blah, blah, blah. And then my hand goes up. And I'm like, I did not put that up. Like it went up on its own. And I'm like, I did what am I doing? I specifically said to myself, I'm not volunteering for anything, right? And um, you know, yes, it got easier as I got older because I no longer had four young children at home, right? So it was a lot easier to say no. Uh, but I still found myself wanting to uh say yes, but yet trying to be really realistic about how much time do I really have? And why am I saying yes? Right. So, like to me, boundaries is more than just a yes or a no. It's a why the yes. You know, is that am I saying yes because it's a great business opportunity? Am I saying yes because I'm gonna rub elbows with the right people? Right. Am I saying yes because it brings me joy? And then with that, it was like, okay, so it may appear as volunteer, but let's be realistic. Is it volunteer but really work? Is it volunteer and really joy, or is it volunteer and something else? Right. And so I think for me, that was really, really important, but I hadn't thought of boundaries as self-care. So I like that. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

Because you gotta think about go ahead. No, I was gonna say, like, you made a point, like your why for wanting to raise your hand, volunteer, knowing you probably at capacity, but that need to um please, you know, um be accepted. A lot of us, you know, pour outwardly with that. So, what self-care, I think, should be like reel that energy in. You know, all that we serve and want to give to others, it's wonderful. But what about me? What about you? Right? And we all want to protect our peace. So that's another way of, you know, setting boundaries for yourself and self-care, self-awareness. And a lot of times we don't sit with ourselves long enough to reflect on what we need. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

I think that is so important. So, and that, I mean, this may be, you know, and if if I'm being too nosy, feel free to tell me. Um, but did you come by this need for wellness and self-care in a way that's probably a pretty good story, or has this been something you've always had that passion for?

SPEAKER_01 8:58

It is, it comes through uh a very good story. I did a um uh autobiography with several other authors, and you have to get that book. It's um my website. It tells my stories for the grandchildren. Um, I was raised in a uh Islamic community for my younger years into my adult um years. This is the first time I've ever shared this, Kate. You get an inside information here. Um, so yeah, um, and that taught me a lot of discipline. Um lifestyle, you know, the the praying five times a day, the we had a clean diet. Um so I think that the discipline in that space kind of propelled me into this lifestyle. Um, once I came out of that space, I did gravitate you know, towards some other habits. But overall, I always had the desire to um want to be well, you know, and I think a lot of life's experiences, which is why I lead with that when I'm speaking, has brought me to this space through uh meditation, reflecting. I have been a pescatarian, if you want to get into the titles, vegetarian, plant-based, you know, and it's all for the sake of just wanting to have left longevity and good life, right? Do I struggle? Absolutely. A1C is high right now. You know? So it's a constant, um, yeah, it's a constant battle with just wanting to have that good ebb and flow. And it's practice. But I will say it's discipline and consistency, and you have to want to implement changes in your life in order to see results. And a lot of times we make excuses.

SPEAKER_02 10:54

You know what? You said something, and I I just want I'm I'm hoping people heard you because it's not just your job, it's not just your personal health. You you're bringing in, you know, that that culture, that history you were raised in, and it does absolutely impact who you are, regardless of how seasoned um you are or aren't. Um, because, you know, you you toss on five and a half decades, which is I'm going to tell them how seasoned I am, right? So after five and a half decades, I can go back and I do joke about, well, yeah, you know, I bring a casserole to everything because, you know, that's just what a good Midwest Methodist does, right? And, you know, there's those kinds of things that because of the way I can't even say I was raised, because, you know, in my family, there were, I was, I was an only child, and we all had different faiths, which was entirely like my faith was wherever my best friend or boyfriend was, like, you know, um I'm you know, I'm gonna own that, right? And so um I had a very different version of kind of, you know, a spiritual path, because I'm not sure I would call it that. Okay. It was a it was a something. Um, and I'm not sure discipline ever went with it. But we will, um, but you know, as I've gotten older, see, I cracked you up. Um as I've gotten older, you know, again, that's part of that whole self-care for me was that balance, right? Like, so if you've got a, you know, if you've ever, if you're listening to this and you've ever had somebody talk to you as, oh, I've had a life coach or my life coach this or my life coach that. I mean, I had my first life coach at 23. Um, I will tell you, I have never had a balanced circle. So my circle struggles and has struggled forever. Um, and so, you know, when you hear people talk about self-care, you know, and that's bringing to us and reminding us about the the physical aspect, but that some of that physical for you actually manifested through, you know, even your spiritual base, maybe not where you currently are, but you were exposed. And, you know, a lot of us are exposed to things at kids, and then when we get to be grown up age, we rebel a little or a lot. And then at some point in time, something might remind us hey, you are not that age you used to be. So stop acting like you're a 18-year-old because you are not an 18-year-old, and I'm gonna show you my body's gonna prove to you that you are not an 18-year-old.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Um, and so that's so I'm like going, yeah, I got some wellness stories, but I'm not sure that they are appropriate for this venue. Um what you've shared is really, really important and the longevity piece. I mean, but let's be realistic. I mean, so this is my my my new current soapbox, and I'm just gonna share it, and I'd love to get your feedback because you mentioned 19 years as a family child care provider. And in a lot of industries, we go 20 years is retirement, right? Woo-hoo, you did a great job. To the point where if you graduate high school at 18, you go off to the military, 38, you've done your 20 years. Right. You can go get a four-year degree, go start another career, and still go another 20 years before you actually get to what most people consider retirement age, right? 62 to 65. And then, depending on your family, you might still have another through 30 years. My grandmother was in her, my great grandmother was in her late 90s. My grandmother was in her late 80s. So if I only looked at my career as that I could have one, I mean, let's do the math on that, right? Like, am I going, you know, that would be like 80 years. My grandmother, like for my grandmother, it would have been 80 years. My great grandmother years, right? So it's like, okay, got it, let's break this up into, right? And so somehow in our industry, we make people feel like maybe they haven't earned the gold medal or the gold star if they haven't put in at least 20 years. And I don't get that, right? Like, I don't get why we think that. So if you're talking to somebody and you're hearing them use phrases that make you go, okay, she's identifying being burnt out or, you know, overwhelmed or that kind of stuff, what would you say to somebody who is a an in-home provider who's got some of those feelings? Maybe they haven't figured out the whole saying no, setting boundaries. What would you say to any, I'm going to phrase this, to any early learning professional who is kind of struggling? I mean, do they, did they need to go 19 years? Or what what's your what's your thought on that?

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Well, what I will say and what I do say is to really take stock in where you are now and where you would like to go. It doesn't, just because we are in this field, we are, I have come across so many different educators with so many skills outside of just educating children, right? But we are afraid, some of them are afraid to step outside of what they know to be secure for them in order to start something new. And it's okay to start over, it's okay to fail and have to start again. If you can be an educator for 10, 5, 10, 15, 20 years, you can do anything. Because we face so many challenges, you know what I mean, and so diverse in this field. You really can do anything. But we are so accustomed to just going through the motions every single day without really sitting down and taking a few deep breaths and really think about where it is you like to go and what it is that you like to do. What are you good at? And how many of us really have time unless you make that time because we're always what? Working. That's why I'm up at four in the morning. I'm up at 4, 4:30 in the morning, and I know it sounds crazy, and I also get this is not for everybody. But because I'm a family child care home provider, I operate a 24-hour family child care program. It's the only time I get peace of mind. So that time of the day is, you know, it is so quiet. I do meditation, I do journaling. That is my, you know, I work out after that. That's the time for me to invest in myself so that I can continue to be here for the children and families that I serve and my community and my educators, you know, because a lot of them are not um voisterous and, you know, resilient to be able to step outside of the classroom and have these conversations and, you know, um speak about the changes that need to happen. So I'm that one. I'm one of the ones that is open to do that. And I think it's important. But don't ever feel like you're stuck. You are not stuck.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Hopefully, folks will go check out um all of Annette's contact information, all of her resources on the links in the show notes, because she is absolutely a role model to the next generation, a role model to the current generation. Because to me, I think that those of us who are seasoned need to actually kind of maybe pause, rewind this episode, and listen to some of the discipline that you've already shared that may not have stuck. Because as somebody who and I get up between four and five, but I get up and have my coffee. And I get up and do a little doom scrolling. And then by like six o'clock, I'm at the computer. Like I, I, I, I have the good intention to.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Um, but if you were gonna, if you were talking to say someone like me, right? Not quite a workaholic, but maybe not quite as disciplined as I maybe could be. What's a great place for somebody to start who's starting to think about, okay, maybe I need to implement something related to Annette's wellness conversation. Hey, that hit home because I'm I know I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Where would you suggest that people start? Well, I I have a um what I like to call my wellness recipe. So it could be physical. So if you're not physical, maybe you start getting active, right? But what does that look like? I mean, I'm a childcare employee. I'm I'm I'm I'm active all the time. No, not as active as you need to be. There are certain muscles that we don't even use, right? For years. But no, it could be something a walk during lunch, you know, or maybe after dinner. Um, it can be something as small as, you know, when you are dealing with stress or conflict or anything that makes you feel uneasy. We all know what the nervous system does when, you know, we're in that fight or flight type of situation. And it brings on a lot of stress, and stress brings on illness if we don't take care of it. So sometimes you have to think beyond what's right here and look deeper into how our actions impact how we are in long term, right? So walking could be one thing that you can implement that is physical if you're not active already. I'm not saying go out and get a gym membership right away, but maybe that's something we could work towards. It could be, like I said, taking a deep breath, walking away from a situation, you know, thinking about how you can better deal with conflict as opposed to going from zero to 100. I used to be that person, believe it or not. And when I share that, people are like, you, you're so calm. I can't believe it. Yeah, I can be this calm, but you know, there's always the other side. You have to have that balance, right? This it's just self-control. If even if it's diet, you know, I mean, like I was just saying, I I'm I'm plant-based, this, that, and whatever, but it's still hard to maintain a diet that is, you know, a good clean one, right? So maybe practice on taking away the cabernet at night. And I'm just saying, you know, to help me find, right? We know.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

You know what you didn't say coffee in the morning, because you and I, I might have ended this call, right? That might go on, we're done.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

So I do that too. So there are some things, you know, it's all about here and what we think about having to make those changes. Because that's what it boils down to. The will. We have choice.

unknown 21:12

Right?

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

Can I push that just a little bit? I think it's not just here, I think it's also what we say. Because, like, one of the things I've caught myself saying that I have I'm trying really hard to eliminate over the last couple months out of my vocabulary is I'm so old. Um, because when I meet people who use that phrase who are younger than I am, I have to go, ooh, wait. If you think you're old, and I know I have a grandmother who lived another, who lived to be a great grandmother who was 40 years older than I am currently.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Wow. That's amazing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

So when you start to do the math, right? Like, so I could have another 40 years. So does that mean I really want to be old for another 40 years? Yeah. No, no, no. So I like I've really started to kind of remove that whole phrase. And I think. That you know, you know, you know, as a man thinketh, right? As a man speaketh, right? Like what we say is so much just as important. Yes, absolutely. So but I but it does absolutely start with a mindset shift, and I know that that's uh you know one of those words everybody uses, but um, I love the practical, the, the, the micro commitments that you just shared.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

Because I think you have to start small, and then those small things evolve into bigger things because you start feeling better about yourself, right? And you can see that there's actionable steps that you can take to create change. You don't have to stay in the same situation in the same place. I've never been one to be boxed in. I can't.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

So that's probably a great thing for those who are listening who um, you know, because and that's coming at this from an entrepreneurial perspective. So if you're listening and you're a director and you're like, yeah, I've had that director title for over 20 years, I want you to think about why, right? I think that's a great place to start. Why are you still here? Why have you, you know, is it is it the families? I mean, is it dedication to other people versus dedication to yourselves?

SPEAKER_01 23:14

To yourself, yes. So we will sacrifice for ourselves, we will sacrifice ourselves for other people in a heartbeat. Don't even think about it because we don't even realize that that's what is happening.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

Absolutely. So, Annette, tell everybody where they can find you. You also have a podcast, you've got some books out. Like, so so tell folks where they need to find you. It's all gonna be in our show notes, but I'm gonna let you tell them.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Gotcha, gotcha. So I am actually on all the social media platforms. I'm on Facebook as Annette Little. That's a whole story in itself. Um, I'm on uh also on Facebook Best Practices, Kids of Us Best Practices, and Kids of Us Family Childcare. So there's three channels on um Facebook. I'm on uh LinkedIn as Annette Eberhart. I am on uh Instagram as TrueGoddess14, because that I am. And the uh the podcast is best practices unveiled, and I'm on YouTube at Annette E05. So I'd love for you to connect. www.kidsarrust.org. You can find my all my publications on the website and on uh Amazon. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

Like I said, all those will be in the show notes. If you don't already follow our newsletter and you have not registered for the newsletter, go to childcareconversations.com. Sign up for the newsletter, and we can't wait to see you in a few days.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

Thank you. Thanks for tuning in. We love bringing you real talk and fresh insight from the world of early childhood education. Be sure to follow us on social media to stay connected and catch all of the latest episodes. And if you're planning a conference, training, or special event, Kate and Carrie would love to speak to your audience. You can learn more about their keynote sessions and workshops at kateandcary.com. If you learned something today, share the show and leave us a review below. We'll see you next time on Childcare Conversations.